Reading Reviews From Member: patronus_charm
  
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Review #26, by patronus_charmMeet the Marauders: Meet the Marauders

19th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge over at the forums!

There was such a strange mix of emotions in this story Iím not quite sure what to feel, but either way I really enjoyed it. I think the first few lines were the worst because it was the slow transition of Fred from the real world to the afterlife and how he was still trying to fight against the fact he was dead and that he wanted to be with George again. It was so raw and bitter, but beautifully written so the emotions came through really clearly.

I loved the bit with the uncles as they were just like Fred and George, always joking around and being a bit blunt now and then but ultimately lifting the mood a little. Their characterisation was really fantastic so itís a shame they were only in this for a little bit. When he bumped into Remus, Tonks and Sirius my heart broke a little as it was so sad to see them there and you just wanted to make them live again because of Teddy and the way they were holding up but you could sense they really wanted to break down too. So sad, and so many layers!

The end with the Marauders made me crack up, though it was quite surprising that Fred never found out who they were, but I guess as it never directly said in the books he knew it makes sense this way. I can just imagine Fred teaming up with them now and replacing Peter as the fourth Marauder :P

Great story!

-Kiana

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Review #27, by patronus_charmWooded: Wooded

19th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge over at the forums!

ĎSusan Bones is a creature of the night.í

Ooh this was a great first line to start with and it really set the scene for her and the rest of the story. I have to admit, I havenít read many Susan Bones stories so I donít really have much to compare it too, but I really enjoyed her characterisation here because the gentle retreat from the world was really believable. The way you described it too was really great as we really could sense how much Susan had changed since the war with the way she was comparatively different to her colleagues.

ĎPoor Susan, entire family gone. Fought in the battle but no proper prospects. Just coasting by, why AmeliaÖí

This line really summed up how she felt before Justin came by and every line in that first section seemed to reflect that as Susan was just acting out the motions of life and nothing more, and you portrayed this almost apathetic feeling towards the world really well. In a way, I didnít almost feel shocked that Susan was ignoring Hannah because Hannah had managed to get out of this oblivion of the war with love, but I guess as Susan had no family who she could love and be helped out of it, it was so much harder so thank god Justin came along.

I really liked the second section because it was nice to see Susan break a little as I thought it would be Justin leading her through the woods and she would be the unwillingly one, so it made her recovery more hopeful. It was a sweet tribute to Amelia as it was such a simple thing but carried so much power, I could really tell how much Susan loved her aunt and why it was so hard for her to pull herself out of whatever she was in.

This was lovely: ĎSusan Bones is a creature of the night but Justin Finch-Fletchley is her light.í

Great story! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for the review.

I love Susan! It's unfortunate not too many people write her. She deserves a little limelight as well. I wanted a little look into her life after the war. Entire family gone but she does have friends but it's not the same for her. She wants HER family. Not their family. And yes she appreciates her friends but they still have someone to go home to or be with. Hannah did lose her family but she also gained one with Neville and Gran. I do count Frank and Alice in that even though they would have never known who she was.

Thanks again for the wonderful review!


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Review #28, by patronus_charmThe Orphan's Carol: The Orphan's Carol

19th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge over at the forums!

Ooh, I do love young Tom Riddell stories as itís so interesting to see why he ended up crazy, and this was a great interpretation of it. It feels weird to say this considering he ends up as Voldemort, but he could almost be considered sweet with the way he really wanted a present and put money towards it too. You could really sense his excitement and as he was left until last he probably thought it was going to be even better. It really was cruel of the Dean to only give him a lump of coal, and it really makes me wonder what happened in this childrenís home to make him so screwed up later on.

I thought your overall writing in this was really great as there were those subtle witty bits such as him being there at the tax payerís expense, and how Merlin was loyal to him even if no one else was and it just raised the mood of the story a little so it wasnít so dark. I also thought you wrote young Riddell in a really believable way and it was very convincing which is quite a rare thing to come across when itís Riddell. Oooh all the foreshadowing with ending the story with the gray sky and the lump of coal was really great and he seemed so moody and stern it made me wonder if this was the turning point from good to bad.

Great story!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

I'm so sorry for such a late reply- RL has been crazy recently. You like my interpretation? Thank you! It probably was quite a strange idea, reconciling Voldemort and Christmas!

Oh, the orphanage was definitely inspired by Dickens - one of my old English teachers really loved Dickens, so it sort of rubbed off on me. I've unashamedly based this off a nineteenth century workhouse/orphanage! It was cruel of the Dean, but I don't think he was a paragon of evil to top all paragons of evil, but unfortunately a man of his time.

I've definitely been reading too much satire recently! But putting those wittier bits in was a conscious decision to make this as Dickensian as I could, because it was the only way I could think of to make the orphanage realistic!

And Merlin is definitely a new favourite of mine! Making Tom believable was something I struggled to do with this, so it's so encouraging to hear that, thank you :)

Turning point from good to bad - that's a good idea. I hadn't thought of it when I was writing this, but I think that really works!

Thanks so much for your review :)

Celi xxx


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Review #29, by patronus_charmTraining: Training

19th March 2015:
Hey Kayla, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge!

Bahaha, the opening to this story made me laugh way too much! Drunk Sirius is always great in stories, and he was particularly good here because he was just out having fun with James and Lily so it had a softer, more light-hearted feel to it. I really liked seeing James and Lily here too, because itís not often we get to see them so happy and care-free so it was just nice to see them being them here.

I really liked how you interspersed the story with younger, care-free James and Lily with serious, grown up James and Lily as it made a really nice contrast and we could really appreciate how much harder their life was for them now. Another thing I liked was that we could really see how similar drunk Sirius was to baby Harry which was a little weird but great too!

Baby Harry was so adorable! ♥ You really wrote him well especially the way he was insistent about being sick all the time. :P I liked how you explored the fact that James and Lily had doubts when it came to parenting and it wasnít the easiest thing in the world as that made it more realistic and enjoyable to read.

Aw, this was so sweet and lovely! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey, Kiana!

I know I felt like I was ruining baby Harry but after looking after a few drunk friends and babies, it astounds me how similar they are! :P Oh well, it's just a little light-hearted fun, haha!

Sirius is great in any story, whether sober or drunk, haha! I have such a soft spot for him! :P

Even though I'm not a parent, I know so many parents who all say they always have no idea what's going on and just kinda go with the flow :P And just doing a few teaching things, I still kinda have no idea what I'm doing but whatever I'm doing seems to be working so I kinda just assumed that it was a similar scenario, haha!

Thank you for this lovely review! Sorry for taking so long to respond!

- Kayla :)


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Review #30, by patronus_charmMidnight Touches, Morning Sorrows: Regrets

19th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge!

Ooh I loved how you started it off as it seemed like just a normal family gathering at The Burrow and then bam, a massive secret is revealed and Dom is actually having an affair with Teddy. Iím glad that Victoire is a nice person in here because Iíve read a few stories featuring this love triangle and a lot of the time sheís made to be horrible so the affair is somewhat okay then. Here though, the blame has to be placed on someone else which makes it interesting.

One thing I would perhaps suggest is work on the transition from Domís musings to Rose coming over and saying she loves Scorpius because itís quite a shift in the mood and sort of jolts the reader. :) Other than that, I really loved Rose as she was so bright and bubbly and alive she was so much fun to read!

The same again for when Dom goes and meets Teddy because thatís quite a shift in the mood, so again it gives you a bit of a jolt. Teddy was really mean here and I did actually want to hit him as he would have really deserved it. Poor Victoire though! It must have been so horrible walking in on all of them like that as it really was quite brutal!

Great story!

-Kiana

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Review #31, by patronus_charmEpiphany: Epiphany.

19th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge!

Omg, I loved this so much it was so perfect and so great and it had Regulus and I love him so much so whoo, go him! I think this was a fantastic story as it combined Regulusí thoughts about what had happened with him, Sirius and Voldemort with the lake scene and Kreacher really well. You could sense the impending doom and how Regulus was approaching death but for some reason it didnít feel too sombre and it felt like Regulus was finally able to put everything to right.

One thing I really liked about this was your structure with the use of italics and how the speech was interjected into the main body of the story as that worked really well and made it really interesting to read. I think the most adorable things was when Sirius was talking to him and calling him his little lion as that almost made me cry because Regulus was really doing this for his brother and wanted to make him proud and the emotions were so raw and perfect it was great. ♥

Another thing which worked really was the description and how it was short and stunted as it really contrasted with those powerful lines and gave more of a pow impact so it really resonated with the reader. The final line was really great and really added impact to the story and tied it up really well.

An amazing story! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #32, by patronus_charmLa Douleur Exquise: I

19th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser challenge!

First off, can I just say the banner for this is completely gorgeous and sets the scene for this really well. Another thing I really liked was how you started it from them as children and youíre already beginning to show how they were different and how they were almost fated not to be together if that makes sense. Another great thing here was how you can begin to see the way Snape idolised Lily and itís interesting that it came through so early on.

It really was so sweet to see how much Lilyís friendship meant to Snape because he was completely crushed when she went in another house. I think youíve done a really good portrayal of him here as you managed to match his feelings to his age really well which often isnít the easiest thing to do. One tiny thing, I think I saw you type mom somewhere, as if you wanted to make it tinsy bit better, I would just change it to mum so itís a bit more authentic. :)

I think the different segments worked really well here as I really liked seeing how Snape changed a lot when he lost the influence of Lily in his life. It was quite sad to see how quickly he fell into the dark side and dark arts. It really does show you how much impact a good person can have on your life. It was so crushing to see him go and spy on Dumbledore and Trelawney because I was just yelling no, no, no but he carried on which was sad.

The ending! ♥ That was really adorable and I really liked it. It was so nice to see that Snape had it in him to accept James too and the way they went off all together gave me hope he could be happy there at least.

Great story!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thank you for the review :)

Oh my god I know that banner is so gorgeous I love it. The children part and the sorting scene were actually one of the hardest parts for me to write :) (other than the death scene which I'm still not entirely satisfied with) . I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm American so it's hard to transition from things like mom to mum, but thanks for pointing it out :).

I'm glad the segments work. It's very similar to how I write majority of my stories and I was worried it seems like too many sudden jumps.

Snape did rather fall without Lily. That's very true to the actual story of Snape too. If Lily had stayed with him, he would certainly had not fallen as far as he did.

It is rather sad. If only he had gone to Dumbledore first instead of ole Voldy.

I could have a story this depressing and not give it an ultra happy ending after dragging people through all of that dark stuff. It's a bit wishful, but I always hoped that Snape would accept James and Harry as Lily's families in the end, so I had to portray it here.

Thank you!!! I'm thankful you enjoyed (especially from a fabulous and creative author like yourself) and reviewed.

-Hannah


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Review #33, by patronus_charmHeartache and heartbreak: Heartache and heartbreak

18th March 2015:
Hey there, reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser over at the forums! :D

Ooh this was a really cool story as it was just so intriguing and it was fun trying to figure out who was who in the story. I have a feeling that the man is Tom Riddle as he seemed to have oozed this dark charm which I can only relate to him and the way he cruelly broke her too, reminds me of something he would do. As for the girl, I have a feeling she might just be a random one but I really liked her characterisation as you really took care to develop her thoughts and feelings throughout this story so you really got to experience what she was feeling.

One thing I would suggest is perhaps breaking up the last paragraph into a few smaller ones as the first ones were really good as the size really worked and maintained your interest throughout, but when we got to the last it was a little harder to concentrate and the full impact was lost a little then.

One thing I really liked though was the use of italics as you really chose which words to use them on really well as it had a really full impact and really emphasised what they were trying to convey. Another dramatic thing which really paid off was the last sentence because even though it started with and it seemed to grab your attention a little more and it made you wonder whether that thing ever happened or not.

Great story!

-Kiana

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Review #34, by patronus_charmThe Man With the Twisted Face: Prologue

7th February 2015:
Hey Olivia!

I really loved the tone of the story because even though anything concerned with the Death Eaters does have a natural underlying serious tone to it, this one had a comedy element to it too, which was so great as Iíve never really come across that before. Little things such as this, ĎThe Glorious Revolution, all capitalizedí and the fact that Dolohov met a girl (which one just wouldnít expect to happen) really made me laugh and added this nice light-hearted element to the story and I hope it follows through.

Another which was great, was it as a prologue itself. This prologue really did set the scene for the story by introducing the principle characters and what their motivations are so the reader knows exactly whatís going to happen later on and that doesnít always happen in a prologue so whoo for that.

I must say, I really am intrigued about Dolohov in this story as heís nothing like I imagine him to be. Even though his parents have tried to indoctrinate him again and again, he just ignores it and is content in his own world. The fact that Dolohov was able to see through his fatherís kind mask at the age of 8 and realise what he was really capable of was something else very interesting, and I wonder how even though he had this sense of right and wrong at such a young age, he still managed to end up as a Death Eater later on and I have a feeling it will somehow tie into this girl he met.

Bahaha, one final thing is that the sense of expectation and excitement surrounding Dolohovís birth was great because he must have been such a disappointment to his parents as he didnít automatically join in with the pureblood cause.

Great start to the story, I hope thereís more soon! :D

-Kiana

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Review #35, by patronus_charmDon't Mean a Thing: Not the One to Stay Around

6th February 2015:
Hey Rose!

I really love the idea of Sirius/Lily as the whole opposites attract really is shown here, and your version of them was really great! There was just something about the way you wrote this pairing, they were perfect for the moment and needed and loved each other [okay, maybe not that, but we can dream, eh?] for it but in the end, as your title said, it didnít mean a thing.

I really loved Sirius in this, and his character shown throughout the entire story. Iíve never actually read him from second person POV before, but I really enjoyed the experience as it takes away a bit of the me, me, me which is quite often linked to this character so that was a nice change to see. Another interesting thing about this story was even though Sirius almost seemed quite selfish by having this relationship with Lily given that he knew she was emotionally screwed up and his best mate loved her, in the end, it almost seemed as if he did it in order for James and Lily to be together which makes it interesting to think about it.

Lily was really interesting in this too, as it was nice to see her embrace her rebel side for once as she doesnít tend to do that. What is making me wonder is that even though it seems as if Sirius has no lost feelings about this relationship, how did it affect Lily herself and her relationship with James? I guess as this was a thing of impulse it might have affected her less than one may naturally think but I guess itís a thing weíll never really know.

Great one-shot! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #36, by patronus_charmkisses-blood-valentine: Ballad of Evvie and Bernie

5th February 2015:
Hey Rose!

Ooh wow, what can I say Rose? This was amazing! (also quickly as I have to say it, the banner was a perfect fit to the story and really added so much to it so kudos for having such an awesome artist make it!).

It was so intriguing, yet confusing, yet mysterious, but cool and mind-blowing and it left me wanting more, more, more from all of them. Who is the real Bernice? Why did she love Evvie? How did Evvie feel being a minority in two senses in 1970s Britain? Why did Benjy seem so off with his sister? I suppose my yearning for all those answers just gives credit to what a great challenge entry there is, as there really is nothing cyclical about this, itís broken, itís incomplete, you almost feel unsatisfied with the end because of all those questions but thatís what made it great, because that really is life, there are twists, turns and then one day it all ends and you really showed that in this story and wah, it was so good!

This feeling of incompleteness and brokenness was almost shown in the relationships too which was cool. Bernice and Benjy were broken in a way because even though they were twins and they cared for one another and wanted to protect one another, there was this fraught bond between them with so much tension and that was fantastic. That was the same again with Bernice and Evvie and how weíll never know if Evvie found if she was a witch or not. The fact that Bernice was first thinking about it in italics, almost seemed as if even though this was this innate part of her, Evvie would never find out because of fate. Okay, I have no idea if that even made sense and I donít think it really did, but it was amazing!

I think my favourite thing about this story was that last line (you really are so good at them!), it just had so much power and connected in with this whole idea of life being broken and incomplete which was there throughout the whole story. Berniceís life was broken without Evvie, but now her soul was being eroded away to the core because of the dementors and all the meaning and symbolism of that was just sikefhoerg and wah, I just canít.

I think this is honestly your best piece of work and I still canít figure it all out but thatís a good thing as Iíll probably never forget it because of that and wah it was so so so good! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #37, by patronus_charmHouse of Cards: King of Hearts

5th February 2015:
Hey Laura! I had such a hard time trying to decide what to read as you have so many tempting stories, but I thought it would be best to finish reading House of Cards as Iím so close to the end!

Poor Sirius, I felt as worried as he did, in fact, I already had Regulus written off as dead, so finding out he was alive and talking was certainly a relief. Hmm, hmm, hmm, Orion. Iím not quite sure what to think of him. He did go to some quite desperate measures to track down his son, but then I always imagine being a child of the Black family means that you are under constant supervision, but it just has an odd feeling about it. That and the way he wanted to talk to Alphard. I think Iím with Sirius on this one and that there is something quite odd about all of this.

So, Sirius finally knows about Regulus and Barty then? Iím glad that he does as I imagine that given that he is quite the outsider of the family heíll be supportive and understand that his brother is just the same and be there for them. Besides, they do make quite an adorable couple with the way Barty was caring after Regulus and making sure he was okay you could never be against it. Those were some interesting comments about Alphard and him being gay does seem to make sense in my mind as it would mean there was an additional reason for why he was ostracised by the family. I do hope it works out with them though, as I imagine they are very much against this sort of thing.

Ooh so that was interesting with Bella and his mother. Firstly, poor Sirius again, as it was quite clear that Regulus was his favourite because as soon as he mentioned that he had been to see Regulus and that was why he was late she immediately softened inside. Ooh, ooh, ooh, about Crouch though. I donít know whether to believe it though because if it was true, why wasnít he thrown out straight away? Unless this murder intrigue has gotten too intense and once youíre in the known you can never leave no matter what you doÖ

Okay, so much drama where do I start? I did have an inkling that was possible the reason for why Regulus was attacked so that does make sense that he knew something then. But whether itís Orion or Alphard is the questionÖ I know itís made out to be Alphard, and it seems to be most obvious, but Orion was so suspicious when Regulus told him his theory and then earlier with Sirius. Maybe he used Polyjuice potion and pretended to be Alphard?

Hmm, hmm, hmm, the mystery continues!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey there, Kiana! Thanks so much for stopping by - and for continuing on with this story! :)

Sorry about that :P I really liked getting to use the outside of the house again, and also having a bit more Orion/Sirius interaction, since there hasn't been heaps of it so far. Orion... well, there is certainly a reason why he tracked Sirius down outside - though I can't say if it's as dark and mysterious as you think it is or not ;) The conversation with Alphard, though - yeah, I haven't had that much off-screen stuff yet, so I liked putting that in, plus more of Orion and Alphard antagonising each other :P Though you might (or not) be onto something with that ;)

Finally Sirius knows! :D Poor kid, I couldn't let him go the entire thing without realising what was actually going on. I don't really see the Blacks as a family who are inclined to have hordes of guests round on a family holiday-type thing, so Sirius kinda needed an explanation :P Yeah, I always think of Sirius as a supportive brother - even if only because it doesn't effect him really and he doesn't like hearing people talk trash about his baby brother :P Alphard... it's a theory, and I have to admit, it's a theory I do like very much ;) And Regulus and Barty - I'm so glad you like them as a ship! They're one of those pairings I just adore :)

Yeah, Regulus is very definitely his mother's favourite and it's really pretty unfair on Sirius, especially since she makes it very obvious. Not a great situation to be in. Crouch, Crouch... I suppose the question is, whether or not you believe Bellatrix? :P And timing is crucial with these things - maybe she didn't know until recently ;) Or something like that anyway, haha.

Ooh, theories! I do love theories! :D Regulus knowing something is definitely a very plausible theory (he's so sweet, who would want to attack him otherwise?) though obviously I can't say yes or no... Orion or Alphard... that's an interesting pair of top suspects - you really think Orion would try to kill his own son? Poor Orion... :P But Polyjuice Potion is very possible - it hasn't come up in the story so far, after all.

Don't worry, you're very close to the end now ;)

Thank you so much for the lovely review - and thank you again for following this story so far! :)

Aph xx


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Review #38, by patronus_charmFull of Grace: It's Better This Way.

5th February 2015:
Hey Beth, I thought Iíd check this out as Iíve got an entry for this challenge too!

Aw, this was so amazing Beth! ♥ Seriously, everything about it was great from the characterisation, the lyrics chosen and just the emotions conveyed, I loved all of it!

The entire style of the writing with the bleak description and the often stilted sentences were really great as they tied into the overall theme of the story Ė grief and sorrow. This is where the lyrics really added to the story as they conveyed this similar idea of everything stopping and slowly down in Mollyís life while everything else carries on and you really did make a good choice with this song as it just goes perfectly with the story.

This is probably one of the saddest post-war stories Iíve read about Molly too, because she really is broken here with no light in her life and sheís trapped in this endless world of grief. It just showed me how important her children were too, and how they were her job and now one of them is gone she just has less purpose in the world. You showed that really well when you talking about the stats (for lack of a better word) of her and Arthurís marriage and how they had spent all these years together and had all these children, and now they had lost one were those stats as impressive and as meaningful.

Linking into what I just said, I really liked how you used nature to show the transition in the world and how it is this natural thing. Summer goes to winter, day goes to night and the way you focused on that makes me wonder if Molly noticed that too and whether that helped back into the real world or not, because as time passed she did ease out of it like she was a process of nature too. Okay, I have no idea if that last bit made sense but I hope you get the gist of what I was trying to say.

The ending was so lovely, as you came back to the idea of Molly having purpose as she was reminded of her other family and how they were still alive and growing and developing and how they needed her. Especially Arthur too, and the way you highlighted that with the way it was just his name was really special as Molly canít be Molly without him like Arthur canít be Arthur without her.

This was a fantastic one-shot, Beth! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi there Kiana!

Eeep! Thanks so much for this amazing review. I'm so, so glad you liked this story :)

Sorry for the sadness of the story, but I've read a few (very few) post war stories about Molly and I didn't think they really did her grief justice. I did have to pull on some personal experience here, but at the same time, I wanted to treat this topic with care.

Grief is so draining. It can consume you and make it so that time stands still. That's why Molly is both surprised and saddened at the change of seasons. Sometimes, that is the only thing that will mark time because you're stuck in your own world.

I wasn't too sure about the ending. I didn't want it to seem overly happy and I'm still not completely thrilled with it. Hopefully it didn't come across that everything is all better, but that Molly has come to a small milestone where she might be able to let others in.

Thanks again for this review. It really made my day!

♥ Beth


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Review #39, by patronus_charmA Single Point In Time: 1982

5th February 2015:
Hey again!

Oooh, I think this chapter is even better than the last one which is saying something as that was great! You really caught all the little things about Petunia which made this story really her. The fact she read Good Housekeeping, wore a silk nightgown and you made sure to emphasise the bony nature of her body meant that this story really couldnít have been about anyone else but her. I feel as if Iím not really explaining myself clearly, but people so often forget to include distinctive characteristics so it was great you didnít.

Another thing I liked was the clear difference in Vernon and Petuniaís characters. Though it seems as if theyíre both heartless in the books, Petunia did sometimes show that Harry was her sisterís son after all, and this story showed that again. Just one last quick thing about Vernon which is he was so in character with ignoring Harry and wanting to sleep, it was great!

I really loved the idea that Petunia did sometimes care for Harry and loved him deep down as thatís my headcanon and I always feel that as he is Lilyís son, she must have not hated him completely. The little thing about her being able to recall it was exactly a year just showed how much Lilyís death played on her mind, and she had such a complex array of emotions when it came to her sister Ė love, jealously, regret, anger Ė it was so fascinating to read!

The ending was so bittersweet again (maybe this is a recurrent theme of the story?), for that one moment she allowed herself to be like a mother to Harry, to love him as much as she loved Dudley, and have that care and compassion which mothers have, but I guess as sheís still so confused about how she regards Lily she couldnít maintain it. I know I wanted her to carry on loving him and pretending to be his mummy, but it just wasnít real for the reason as you said, she would never, or could never is perhaps a better term for it, as much as she loved Dudley because of that confusion with Lily. The way you handled that was fantastic and so interesting to read.

Two amazing chapters, I hope thereís more soon! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Heya!

Yay for Petunia! Ahh Good Housekeeping haha! I imagine it's practically her Bible. I really wanted to try and show some of her really pedantic, obsessional qualities here so it makes me so happy that that sort of came through. I know I didn't really dwell on Vernon much here, but I feel like even if I did he wouldn't have much else to say. Like, I always imagine that as a father he's pretty pants because he just wouldn't know what to do at all. :P

Ahh I am so glad that you enjoyed this - thank you so much for the really lovely and really thoughtful review. I hope you keep on enjoying these little one-shots the further I progress with them. Thank you so so much!

Laura ♥ xxx


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Review #40, by patronus_charmA Single Point In Time: 1981

5th February 2015:
Hey Laura! Iím so excited about reading this as I love short story collections, and this is in such an interesting period of time, of grief, joy and re-building that Iím so excited for the coming chapters as the first one was great.

You really got to grips with Dumbledoreís character and Iím so impressed by how well you managed him! His worries, fears and doubts were explored really well as they were all driven from this love he had for Harry and wanting to make sure he was doing the best for him and that was so like Dumbledore. Then that wise old side coming out too with him knowing he did make the right decision after all.

Even though Dumbledoreís main mood here was composure, you somehow to give off hints of sadness and grief. Iím not really sure how you did it, but this chapter just had an under-current of that feeling and you could sense how hard it was for Dumbledore to part with something which was both James and Lily and how much he missed them both too so that was a really nice element to the story.

Another thing I liked was Phineas! He was such a great touch to the story as he stopped it from becoming too sad and heavy and added the perfect comedic element to the story. It was also nice to see some more interaction with the portraits and how they try and aid the headmaster of the time as that was something which I always found really cool.

The ending was bittersweet, because it took us back to the reality that James and Lily were gone and people had to now accept that. Before, in the rest of the story, we were still in that weird state of shock where we had to remain calm to sort out the situation, but with the arrival of Snape the enormity of it all suddenly hits you and that was done really well.

I feel as if I rambled a bit in this review, but this was a great first chapter and I canít wait to read on :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey lovely!

Sorry it's taken me a few days to respond - I honestly don't know what to say! Your reviews were so encouraging and kind and they've made me grin for about a week straight now. Thank you. I can't really tell you how motivating it is to get such great feedback.

I'm so chuffed that you thought I wrote Dumbledore well because it was one of my biggest worries with this chapter. I initially planned to have him be freaking out a bit more (maybe that's an overstatement haha) and to be really properly tempted to go back to Harry, but I agree with you - Dumbledore does have a level of composure and though it was probably unintentional (hehe) I think that is true to his character. He always seems to put his faith in how things unravel themselves without too much meddling.

I'm super glad you liked Phineas! I like Phineas too! He cracks me up so much in the books and I'm the same - I love the portraits talking to Dumbledore - those bits were always so cool in the books! And with the ending, with Snape, I also wanted to show how much of a burden Dumbledore seems to carry, like, how much Sev depends on him while Dumbledore's dealing with other stuff too. I'm really glad you thought it was done well because for me it was a really important thing I wanted to stress.

Thank you so much for your reviews - honestly truly a million trillion percent you are the best. Thank you thank you!!

Laura ♥ xxx


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Review #41, by patronus_charmMagpie: The Legend of the Gemini Crowns

4th February 2015:
Hey Jenna!

Can I just say that you really do have a gift with characterisation? In every story you write each character is so unique and special and the same can be said for this story. In the first section alone we already had the grumpy but warm at heart Borgin and the old, kind, pauper with Old Wendy. Verity, especially, is great with the way she lurks on both the good and the bad side in a way and how sheís interested in everything.

I really liked the fairy tale too (if I can call it a fairy tale as it was darker than most ones!) and I really liked how you made it a Beedle and the Bard one as it was a nice touch. The inclusion of goblins was another really good thing as theyíre often neglected in the HP world, but it was nice for them to have some love here too. I just canít help but wonder now if that story will shape the events in the actual one at all or not.

Hmm, Borgin was a little suspicious, eh? Iím guessing those people have links to Death Eaters with the way Borgin was being all shady about it, maybe they had something to do with Penelopeís death? I wonder whatís Borginís history with the story too, and I guess my prediction about it having to do with the actual one was true too then!

Oooh so thereís some sort of protect the Muggleborne association and Verity was a part of it? Hmm, this is getting even more interesting! And the fact the story has turned up yet again, I really canít wait to find out more about it. Ew, for Umbridge though I hope that quick cameo from her isnít a sign that sheís going to continue to feature in this story as that would suck a lot!

Fred and George were great with all the banter! I really loved how they brought Bill and Fleur into it too, as itís nice to see how their lives were in the Hogwarts era given that not all of it was covered in the books, if that makes any sort of sense. Bahaha, the verre joke made me laugh way too much! Wait, what though? Were you possibly hinting at a possible romance between Fred and Lee, because if you were wah, I have never seen that before, and Iím not sure what to think about it, I guess itís like Ron and Hermione in a way as itís make the trio of friends a little more awkward! Aw, George and Verity though! ♥ So cute, and yayyaya for finally getting together!

A fab chapter! ♥

Author's Response: Hey Kiana! :D

Ahh, thank you!! You are so kind to me. I'm so glad you like these characters and find them unique as I really love writing them so much. Verity is a bit of a drifter between good and bad, and she's a bit oblivious for now that there are even sides.

I'm so glad you liked the fairytale! It was so fun to write and I'm glad you liked the focus on goblins as well, it's an area of magical history that I find really intriguing and would love to read more stories about.

Borgin is being shady and he tends to take advantages when they come his way even if it suggests danger.

I'm glad you liked hearing more about the story! And Umbridge is the worst. I'm already writing her in one story so I'm not sure I could handle her evilness in another. :P

I'm so glad you liked the twins here! They're so intimidating to write but I'm really pleased you liked them. Hehe, it might have been a hint, or Verity might have been misled - we shall see! I'm kind of surprised that I've never seen that ship before since it seems so natural to the Fred in my head at least. :P

Thanks so much for the gorgeous review, Kiana! ♥


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Review #42, by patronus_charmTurning Page: Numb

4th February 2015:
Hey there!

Firstly, can I just that given that this is your first story, Iím kind of in awe of the quality right now both in terms of the story as well as the general grammar/spelling side of it, as itís just so unusual to come across such great first stories!

As you can probably tell from my one-shot, I love Drastoria and especially stories which show Draco as all dark and gloomy after the war so this was excellent. I really enjoyed the first section as that really set the scene for the first chapter and it was interesting to see his inner most thoughts. Another thing which I liked about that and the rest of the story was the use of the italics, as that really contrasted with the normal sections and showed the conflict which was going on in Draco minds so that was really effective!

Dracoís pain and fear after the war was highlighted in every sentence of this story it seemed and I really liked that. I think it was the way you focused on the individual pieces of description and really let them soak into the readerís mind which is what did it for me. This line Ė Ď. My pale skin is paper thin and practically transparent. My cheek bones jut out awkwardly and my jaw line is more pronounced than ever.í And the other bits about his physical state were good, as there is a tendency to only focus on the mental part but it was good that you drew in both aspects.

Another little thing I liked was how you recounted what had gone on in the previous few years and where the Malfoy stood now as it was good to get that established right away and meant we knew exactly what was going on in Dracoís life.

Omg, I loved his first meeting with Astoria! It was just so cute and adorable and perfect and I love the idea of her being strong and a Healer rather than the typical Pureblood as it was nice to see that change. I also liked how it took him a while to remember who she was, and how it wasnít love at first sight as it could have been easy to go down that route. Instead, it was Astoria telling him off which was quite funny to see actually!

This was such a fab first chapter and I canít wait for the next one! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Aw, thank you so much! That means a lot to me, especially as grammar/spelling really isn't my strong point!

Ah, I'm happy you like that first section, it was kind of a break through for me as it was the first thing I've written that I actually liked for a long time. And it kind of got the ball rolling for the rest of the chapter. That's a relief that the use of italics was effective, I wasn't sure if it would come across the way I wanted it to so I'm glad it does!

Yeah I seem to have a thing for writing angst... It just comes naturally I guess! What that says about me I don't know though! :P I'm happy the physical descriptions were effective, I was kind of weary about going overboard with them but at the same time I knew they were important for describing Draco's anxiety. I know from my own experience that I might not realise what I'm thinking is making me anxious until I'm far too hot or my heart rate has gone up or something like that if that makes sense.

I'm glad you liked that, I was afraid it might have been too long winded!

Ahh I'm so happy you loved their first meeting and the idea her being a Healer! I've had a clear idea of who Astoria is for a very long time now and I've never imagined her as the typical Pureblood. Haha yeah I didn't want their first meeting to be too cliche, especially considering the circumstances of their meeting. :P

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review, it means so much to me! :)


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Review #43, by patronus_charmRun: Like Dreaming

30th January 2015:
Hey there! Second chapter in, and I really love this story! I'm sorry if I won't be able to review every chapter and that my reviews will probably be really short and terrible as I never have any free time, but hey ho. :P

This chapter brought me so close to tears! I love Ronks so much and you wrote them so perfectly! Tonks was amazing with the way she wanted Remus to be alive so someone would care for Teddy, as you could really sense her pain and grief for losing him, but them there was that selfish bit to her too which wanted to keep him here. They were still so love and just knew each other so well it was perfect! ♥

I really liked how you included that bit about him being called back to life by Harry too and that's why he disappeared as that was cool.

Bless Remus with the way he still had it in his heart to be kind to Crabbe and feel sorry that he was here despite the fact Crabbe was always vile and they were fighting against one another. It just shows what a good person he is.

A fab chapter! ♥

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Review #44, by patronus_charmThe Shadow Prince : The Question of Nanny

25th January 2015:
Hi again!

Nanny seems to be so lovely! I canít quite figure out who sheís meant to be in the Harry Potter world, at times I think sheís Hermione because of the way sheís so good at everything and the way Snape laughs at her, but then her caring nature reminds me of Hagrid now and then too, but hopefully it will become clearer later on.

I really like how the Fat Lady was incorporated into this story as it still leads to where loads of the Weasleys live if that makes sense. I like how here even though Ron is the servant, he has this advantage over Harry as heís there with his family, while Harryís sort of abandoned instead then the fact he can provide Harry with all the news in the world too is cool. Bahaha, I love how the Weasley boys were still trying to destroy Snapeís life by putting stuff in his soup!

Ew, Umbridge was so creepy trying to be nice, I just canít deal with her. I really like how youíre merging all the books together as it seems as if weíre in the third book now with the way heís received a Firebolt and the DADA teacherís off ill. It seems as if Harryís parents are still around as theyíre sending messages to Griphook which is a good sign even though itís getting worse outside in terms of danger.

Ooh so Nanny is McGonagall then, I guess the fact that she seemed like both Hagrid and Hermione makes sense then. I felt so bad for her whilst reading that letter as it really highlighted the position of women in society at that time and it was done in a nice and subtle way so well done for that.

This was such a great chapter, I canít wait to read on! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey hey!!

Nanny was one of those characters who is quite different from her canon self, but mostly because of her circumstances and not having the same advantages as a witch would in the twentieth century. I hoped readers would be guessing a little so it made me excited to see your guesses.

It was fun incorporating the Fat Lady too, I'm a big fan of her! :) That's such a good point about Ron having his family, and in a way that was kind of a point of tension between them in the canon books as well, even though Ron's family welcomed Harry with open arms. Hehe, Fred and George are pretty sneaky that way. :P

The books are kind of all mixed together here, but drawing plot elements from all of them. I'm so worried that I'm going to miss something important, but events from the books are quite inspiring for future plot. They're still alive for now, but things outside the school are meant to be getting dangerous.

Yes! :D Ah, so much feminist commentary underlying that letter. It was really interesting to write characters like Nanny and slot them into the gender roles I read about in nineteenth century novels.

Thanks so much, Kiana! You're the best! :D


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Review #45, by patronus_charmThe Shadow Prince : The School in Phantom Square

25th January 2015:
Hey lovely!

Ah, this is so strange reading this because it all makes sense yet it doesnít at the same time, either way itís a good strange! Itís funny get a glimpse into this privileged world of wizards, because in a way this could have been Harryís childhood with this endless supply of money, treats and presents but he didnít have it because he was brought up at the Dursleys, you really have written it so well as itís making complete sense to me and I donít know The Little Princess.

It was nice to see that despite Harry being spoilt, he was still being generous and kind with the way he befriended Ron. I felt so sorry for him as he seemed so solemn being the servant, and then getting told off for eating breakfast with Harry but hopefully his mood will pick up as he and Harry become friends. I hope Mrs Weasley will feature in this story because I guess she already sort of has, but it would be great to see more of her.

Ew, Snape! Heís evil as ever so sucks to him, I canít help but wonder what heíll be like in this adapted version of the story though. Bahaha, it made me laugh that Draco couldnít get the best room as it was reserved for Harry, because for once Harry starts on a level above Draco. Dracoís still the same with his gang of cronies, and warning Harry off Neville, I guess some people never change.

The influence of Lily and James on Harry is so sweet with the way he shares everything with his friends and those who need as it just warmed my heart. Plus, the way he tolerated Colin Creevey here even though he could be very annoying a lot of the time. I think the thing which touched my heart the most was how they were always the heroes in his story. Hmm, I canít think why they left him here other than for an Order mission or something of that sort.

Great chapter!:D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello again! :) Thanks so much for returning, you lovely lady!

Haha, I love your description of it making sense but not making sense! I'm glad you liked the extravagance of it all, and it's pretty much what happens in TLP but this is the wizarding version. :P I was worried that Harry being spoiled would seem like too much, but it made sense with the guilt that his parents might feel at leaving him there.

I know, poor Ron. :( It fit to make him a servant though because the Weasleys already get bullied in HP for being "poor" so their circumstances added a good balance into this story. Mrs. Weasley will definitely be around, though in the currently published chapters she exists more through references than through actual appearances.

Snape... well, he's not one of my favourite characters, but his nastiness is kind of fun to write. Haha yes, Draco isn't portrayed as the most favourable either I'm afraid. :P

Aw, I'm so glad you liked how much Harry admires his parents and how they influence him. I thought the heroes thing seemed realistic too, especially since he's kind of idealizing them a bit now that they're separated.

Thanks so much, dear! ♥


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Review #46, by patronus_charmLegacy: Legacy

25th January 2015:
Ooh new one-shot, new one-shot! ♥

Okay, Iíve only read the first section so far and this story is already great. 1. Itís a Founders story with Helga in it who needs more love and affection. 2. Death is looming Ė so mysterious, and it felt as if the story started with a great thud if that even makes sense, but I loved it. 3. Scottish midges Ė that tiny thing just added so much 4. Owain Ė this is the first time Iíve seen Helga have a husband, so whoo for something going on in her love life and his name seems to fit the era so well!

This line Ė ĎRowenaís only child Ė the others all lost in childbirth or snatched away by Deathís greedy hands as tiny infantsí Ė that was cool! ♥

You wrote Helgaís dilemma really well that even I could feel it, as she seemed so burdened by it and really didnít know what to do. The way you recounted the others Founders death was so sad too, because I didnít expect them to be dead too, and each of their deaths seemed to be so sad, so painful that I really wish it hadnít happened. I really liked that Helga had children too, as itís nice to see she had a family as sheís such a natural mother!

The next section was really moving as there were so many things in it which were just written fabulously! The way the illness was slowly taking over Helgaís body and taking her away from the world was so sad. Then the touch of religion and the old Pagan one was another great touch. I also really liked how you developed the other teachers roles too, so I have more of a feel for the school. Then finally, how the whole Mudblood/pureblood thing was already developing at their young age was so sad :(

Helga seemed so much calmer after Aeres accepted her proposition and that was so nice to see so that she could spend her dying days calm and peaceful. That last scene with Owain was lovely, as she slowly drifted away from the world and you could just sense all the goodness she had done in the world.

This was amazing! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #47, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #8

25th January 2015:
Hey Sian! ♥

Wow, Roxanne really is getting immersed into this job! I liked the beginning bit and how you showed the drudgery side to journalism because before it was all about the fun and glamorous bit, and I was starting to think this wouldnít be a bad job, but now Iíve seen how she has to endlessly question people, come up with crazy hypothesis and get shouted at by her boss so itís not so fun anymore. :P

That was certainly a very awkward moment when Fred wouldnít pass her the salt. I wonder if heís still holding some grudge against because of everything that happened with DanielÖ It was so sad to read that bit about how much he was missing Fred. Of course I knew he was, but just reading all of that and how he couldnít work for 6 months afterwards just made me all mushy instead, and if I could give George a hug right now I would.

Woah, *writes note to self* never, ever get on the bad side of Angelina as she really took Fred down and it was rather terrifying to say the least! Though Fred really does need to stop being an idiot because Roxy has sorted it all out, so yeah. I bet he was doing something illegal in Knockturn Alley though, thatís why he was being so cagey, there canít be another reason for it! Hmm, I wonder what he was actually doing nowÖ Seriously, I couldnít take that final awkward moment with Fred and Roxy, it was just too much, those guy really need to sort their issues out!

Ooh that wasnít the best start to the day for Roxy, was it? Having to rely on Violet to give her all the gossip about the latest update in the case. It is intriguing though, and the disappearance felt very Sherlock like in a way with the Muggle building and him just disappearing. Maybe the villain in the story is actually Moriarty? :P

I canít deal with that last scene! Who is it? Who is it? I can only possible think of Roxy because the woman had dark-hair, which is a bit of a silly guess. I do have a feeling that a Wotter possibly has something to do with this though, but weíll just have to see.

Such a fab chapter, and thanks for the shout-out! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #48, by patronus_charmThe Shadow Prince : The Potters

22nd January 2015:
Yayayya another Jenna story to read! ♥

OOoh oooh this is set in Bloomsbury, thatís already got me excited as itís one of my favourite areas in London as I love the houses and the fact the British Museum is there means that everything just feel so intellectual when youíre walking around so this has already made me far too excited! ♥

It was so strange seeing the Potters alive, because believe it or not this is the first story that Iíve read when they survive the attack from Voldemort. It was so nice to see them like that as they were such great parents to Harry in the little scene with them, and I could really see how much it pained them to live them there but I guess the Order comes first. I canít wait to see how you build on that backstory with the war because obviously itís already quite different to what happened in the books, so I canít imagine what comes next. Another thing I liked was how societal issues such as Lily having to marry well come into it as that added another element to it.

I love how this version of Hogwarts is like a finishing school in a way, because obviously the pupils are younger but they are training them up to become young men. I loved the nod towards the prestige Oxbridge has in the UK with how so many went off to it, and I quite wait to see how the upper English classes merge with the wizarding world.

Ew, Umbridge is there! I can already some drama over on that front so it will be interesting to see how you pursue that. Ew no, no, no that ending with them forgetting that Harry was there is horrible and I do not want to know who the dark figure is because my guess is that that person is not going to be nice in the slightest.

A great start to the story, Jenna! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!! :D

Ahh, it's one of my favourites too! Victorian Bloomsbury is so interesting as well and I just couldn't resist setting the story there.

Ah, I'm glad you liked seeing them! This story is so weird, it's been kind of reworked into an AU but doesn't follow the events of the series necessarily in order, so there will definitely be some surprises. I'm glad you liked seeing how close they were to Harry and also the societal issues. When I started this story I was in a Victorian lit class and we talked a lot about marriage and gender and a lot of that has leaked into this story.

It was so interesting coming up with Hogwarts being a finishing school and how it would complement the Little Princess plotline.

Ah yes, Umbridge! I just couldn't resist, she is so simpering and awful and fun to write though. Aw, I know - so sad to do that, but at least they got several more years with their son than in the books so that made me happy.

Thanks so much, Kiana! :D


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Review #49, by patronus_charmTrue Romance: Simple Song

17th January 2015:
Omg, wow, I think I may have the first review on this so whoo! ♥ And congrats Rose, on finishing this story it was so much fun to read :D

I really liked how this chapter just focused on Albus and Scorpius as the story was initially about them, and we could see how much has changed between them and how much their lives have developed since the beginning of this story and that was really nice. I also really liked how great friends they are now and how they could put their differences behind them to allow that to happen as they do make really cute friends.

Boo to Scorpius going back to Corbin! You obviously guessed that I wouldnít be happy about that, but I guess Scorpius seems happy about that which is the main thing. It was sweet to see how Albus wanted to make sure of everything and that his friend would be okay before celebrating it though.

I do feel sorry for poor old Albus with everyone abandoning him with Scorpius in Paris, Rose in Spain then Lily at the Burrow. In a way, it was nice as he wasnít jealous at all and seemed genuinely happy for them and all the adventures that theyíre going to have. I really liked how content he was with his little family of Brandon and Cora and theyíre just so cute together and leave me squeeing away. Though Lily and Molly living together might be a rival in the cuteness factor soon!

I canít wait to read all about Lily it sounds so exciting namely because of what I just said and I love her as sheís such a fab character and I canít wait to read about her and Lysander! Thanks for writing such a fab story Rose, and congrats again on finishing it! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: KIANA!!!

CONGRATS ON BEING THE FIRST TO FINISH R&Ring THIS STORY!!! *high five*

I'm really glad you liked the ending wtih just the two of them. I mean, I started this off writing about just them and it did feel natural to end on them as well. hehe, they are cute friends.

To be fair, I'm not happy about them being together but Scorpius is. Albus is kind of my own voice in this chapter. I don't think Albus would feel right if he hadn't tried to do a sanity check with Scorpius.

Well, Albus was being a bit dramatic when he said that. I think it was in part to get scorpius to open up about moving and start a bit more of conversation. Albus is quite happy for everyone (and with his own life at the moment). I couldn't help but end iwth the image of Albus going home to Brandon and Cora. *le sigh*

Thank you so much for the fab review and making thorugh this whole story!!!

-Rose


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Review #50, by patronus_charmTrue Romance: Time to Get Out

15th January 2015:
Ooh so this was an interesting chapter and I really liked it, but wah only one more now :(

I really like James and Cindy as a couple as they're just so adorable, and the fact that they went flat shopping with the others just shows how nice they are. I got so excited when they were going flat shopping as there was so much talk of our between Albus and Brandon, I couldn't really handle it. I really hope that they move in with one another as that would be so cute. I'm not sure what to make of the review, because even though she said she could see Cora was brought up in a loving family, I keep on thinking that she's actually hating them and she's going to take Cora away for ever and ever which would be really sad.

Another thing I loved was the scene with Lily and Molly, as it was so sweet to see them both help build their lives back together and I really do hope they move in together as I would love that and make me feel all happy and content.

Boo to Scorpius and Corbin and them getting back together. You deserve better Scorpius and not that slimy man so ditch him and find that better. Rose did with Pedro and now she's going to be starting a new life out in Spain which sounds so cool, so whoo go her!

Ah, is there going to be a sequel to this or is it? I can't handle it if it is!

Fab chapter! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana!!!

James and Cindy are my favorite couple in this that I didn't give a lot of screen time to. The Branbus conversations in this were my favorite to write. they're not moving together *yet* but I think they'll be at a point to do that in a matter of time. ;) I can tell you that the review is what she said, done and not a concern anymore.

One of the reasons I put Molly in such a vulnerable place was to allow them to get close like this.

I am sorry about corbin and Scorpius. I'll be writing a one-shot about them a year later int he next few months. You'll see how this all works out for them at that point. Rose's life in Spain will be a lot of fun!!

So, there's not going to be a sequel to this necessarily. I'm doing some stories on Lily that followt his but nothing that focuses on Albus.

thank you for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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