Reading Reviews From Member: patronus_charm
1,499 Reviews Found

Review #26, by patronus_charmGrey.: Grey

29th June 2015:
Hey there! Apologies for taking so long to get here, there were a lot more entries than I anticipated! ♥

You really painted Draco in a sorry way at the beginning of this and I felt so sorry for him. He was always such a proud and vain person it somehow even made it worse that he ended up turning to alcohol and despair and that he couldnít find another way out because he was so unrecognisable from his former self. I thought your description regarding him was really great though as I really felt his pain and despair in a vivid way.

I also liked how you explored the different impact the war had on each person. I have to say, I still couldnít bring myself to feel sorry for Lucius being in St. Mungoís and not quite there as he was always too slimy for my liking but itís sad that Draco thought he could never live up to his expectations. I also liked how you showed how he was affected by other peopleís deaths and highlighted that not all Slytherins are evil and some fought bravely in the battle too as that was a nice touch.

Astoria and Dracoís love story wasnít what I expected at all but I really loved it as they really were a couple in despair, especially from that letter with her being with Blaise. Poor Draco though, being confused about the true meaning of love by Pansy. I never really thought much about their relationship but I guess it naturally did warp his view of love as they were kind of strange.

Aw, the ending :( That was sad to see because that one line from Astoria really stuck with Draco so much but I guess just have a feeling that heís never ever going to recover as he seems down-trodden and lost in the world. This was a really great story and thanks for entering into the challenge!


Author's Response: HEllO!!!

I'm glad that your challenge was such a success! :3

I like the idea of making Draco Malfoy face the horror of being himself. This miserable version of him was fun to write and it's such a nice contrast from the polished, snide monster that we all knew from the HP books. Also, he's a lot different than he was in my story, "A Force of Wills", which made writing him this way all the more delicious. >:)

I feel like the War affected a lot of different people in various ways. I know that some writers like to focus on main characters but I always wondered about the minor ones they came in contact with. Draco had never even liked Fred but he remembers being saved by him, so that was something that I wanted to stress. War isn't pretty and life is precious. I also didn't want to show that all Slytherins were horrible, I just could never get over that in the book and the movie portrayal of them made me cringe.

Okay, Astoria and Draco never had a romantic relationship. Hahaha. These are the same characters from A Force of Wills and they LOATHED one another but there is a certain type of affection in Astoria's letter that could make you think that they were close.

Pansy loves Draco but I can't say the same for him. It makes me sad but I wasn't going to try and brush over the fact that he felt incapable of loving someone.

Thank you so much for the review and I hope you do another challenge soon!

I had fun!

Much love,


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Review #27, by patronus_charmLove. Lies. Monopoly.: The Party Upstairs

28th June 2015:
Hey there!

Hahaha, omg Scorpius was so brilliant in the first section with being all seductive (or trying to be might be the better term) with taking this party upstairs. It was kind of cute how in love Scorpius was as I so rarely see him as this soppy in love guy, but I really liked it here (even if it did make me crack up a lot).

Seriously, why are they fighting over the thimble? That was like the worst piece in Monopoly, they should be fighting over the dog as that was where itís at. Seriously though, I loved it as it was such a funny thing to fall out over and if thatís the only thing they argue about then they have a successful relationship I would say.

Aw, young love, comparing your boyfriend to an old man was so touching and romantic I couldnít believe how kind Scorpius was! I really want their monopoly set there as it sounds like a lot more fun than the London and Europe ones I have as it would be so cool to play with. I just hope that their relationship can withstand the intense rivalry of the game!

Fab chapter! ♥


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Review #28, by patronus_charmNoble: Noble

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Back yet again! ♥

Okay this was truly terrifying with how you managed to capture Morfinís character perfectly. I mean, I could just feel how horrible he was and even fellow Slytherins who could have admired him felt that too. It felt like he was wrapped up in this self-delusional bubble where the only thing that mattered was his birthrite and he did everything he could to show he was Slytherinís true heir no matter how disturbing it was. That was really shown in the Hogwarts section and how even the Sorting Hat was scared of him.

To me, it felt like the cottage was living off of Morfin and Marvoloís evilness and that its run-down state was because of them and not due to lack of up-keep. I felt so sorry for Merope because Morfin really viewed her as a sub-par creature which isnít too surprising as I always got the feeling him and his father were a bunch of misogynists. Anyhow, I really liked how you used Merope to show contrasting forms of love because even though Meropeís love was very similar to lust which isnít too healthy either at least it was romantic love rather than violent love.

Your writing overall in this was truly beautiful and scary as you really caught the horror of Mofinís fantasies, the evilness of the snakes and just how horrible their lives were. I felt like I should have been sad when Morfin and Marvolo died but you just showed how twisted and evil they were so I really couldnít muster any sympathy at all.

Again, apologies for the rambling review but I really loved this! ♥


Author's Response: Hey Kiana! :D

Thank you for all the awesome reviews - how sweet are you?! ♥

I'm so glad you thought this was terrifying as funny as that sounds. :P Morfin was so fun to write because of how creepy and odd he is. You're right, all he cares about is himself and his place in the world and it really detaches him from the real world in a perverse but also sad way.

I love your reading of the cottage, that's for sure how I see it! The Gaunts are so fascinating and it's almost too bad we didn't learn even more about them in the HP books although I guess there isn't that much to know since they were so static in their lives.

Thank you so much for all your kind words! I really appreciate your comments on the story and especially the writing style. You're awesome! :D

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Review #29, by patronus_charmHere, There & Everywhere: Here, There and Everywhere

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Hey again Jenna! ♥

I had always wondered what Ron and Hermione had gotten up to before Harry had arrived at the Burrow and Iím so glad that I could finally find out and I this this may be my new headcanon for them. The first section was just them with the way Hermione was always the moral authority of the group and the way Ron acted angrily towards her, but then he can get the upper hand with Quidditch. It was like they balanced each other out perfectly and it was so cute and so adorable.

This line - He blushes when the twins tease him and even Percy sticks his head out of his Ministry documents to give him meaningful looks. Ė I think laughed far too much that the whole family were in on it, and it was so sad that Harry couldnít be in on it because when he came Ron sort of peeled back from Hermione which was so sad.

The next year was so sweet that she wished she and Ron could be prefects together as I was gushing all the way through. I really think you captured the mood perfectly from the hopeful and love-struck one which itís just Ron and Hermione to the darker and angrier one when Harry arrives, but despite Harry arriving they still grow to love each other and get closer.

I loved the third section where their relationship really brings to blossom because all those secret looks and touches were so adorable and made me gush every time. This line ĎShe notices their hands finding ways to touch without permission:í was perfect and Iím so glad Mrs Weasley supported the two of them as I was never really sure how she viewed Hermione, I mean, I knew she liked her but there always felt as if there was some reservation there for some reason.

The last section was both heart-breaking and heart-warming, because we had to deal with all the pain and death of the final battle and all the funerals it brought with it, in some way it felt like it almost helped them as it made them open up more and embrace others into their relationship which was very sweet.

Wah, Iím sorry for this rambling review itís for the HC, but I loved this and Iím going to favourite it right now too! ♥


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Review #30, by patronus_charmPlay the Devil: Wishes

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Hey again Jenna!

Haha, I liked how you went into the intricacies of the Weasley family and how there was almost a hierarchy within them as it was almost like that with the original Weasley family in the HP books. Oh, Molly, I can just imagine how annoying she would be so poor Rose for having to deal with her!

Another thing I really loved was how you went into detail about all the myths and superstitions regarding wishing in the Fountain of Fair Fortune as some of them were pretty funny and it did make me wonder if they was any truth behind them because in Harry Potter magic is real, so whatís the difference with wishing? I loved Cecilia too as she really made me laugh and I could see exactly why her and Rose got along.

Ew, ew, ew is all I can say to Molly as she really is annoying and she has that horrible ability to bring up awkward facts in front of friends so boo to her. I loved how Choís son made an appearance as that literally made my day as he seemed pretty funny about how he brought up how Cho and Harry dated as that was cute! ♥

Oooh Rose is taking her next to the past very seriously, I hope she manages to get back there without any damage to herself but I just have an ominous feeling about this. Oh well, for now we get to see more sassy Hermione who seriously had me cracking about how she expected Hugo to do the summer reading, I think she was the only one who ever did it, bless her! I do wonder who the prisoner is, Iím guessing some prominent former Death Eater?

Richard really is someone who needs their love to always be there and itís actually kind of sweet if a bit sad how much he misses her. Iím so excited to go back to the past though I have no idea what cover story Rose will give for her disappearing for months, it had better be a good one!

Another fab chapter and I canít wait for more! ♥


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Review #31, by patronus_charmPlay the Devil: Missing

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Hey again Jenna!

That first section with Richard was adorable, lovely and heart-breaking all together! ♥ It was just so sweet to see him be the classic romantic and pine over Rose in that way. I liked how you compared him to Edward and George as that really showed how genuine and real his love towards Rose was. Thatís why it was all the more sadder when he found out she was gone as you could really feel his heart break, especially when he realised she hadnít said goodbye to him as I just wanted to give him a hug then. But no, Richard, donít forget her! Sheís trying to come back itís just a lot more complicated than you realise.

Aw Dennis Creevey is in this story! ♥ I really do love him so Iím so glad that heís in this! Hahaha, I didnít think working in that department would be that interesting, but from just hearing the stories of Creevey and Hazlehurst I can imagine no day is a dull one. Aw, Baubles though, I do feel quite worried about the cat and I hope that Baubles was eventually found.

Ooh somethingís changed with Archie, and thatís not just to do with the magical philosophers (though I love the idea of there being such a thing!). I can see why he would be cautious if the whole Queen Victoria scenario played out but that would ruin all the fun Rose could possibly have. Though I donít approve at all of her stealing those potions as I have a feeling that nothing good at all will come from this and sheíll only get herself into more trouble as they could just be tester potions or dangerous or something. Hmm, I have a feeling something very bad will come from this.

Another fab chapter! ♥


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Review #32, by patronus_charmPlay the Devil: A Closed Circle

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Ė Ravenclaw

Hey there Jenna, I finally have time to catch up on this wonderful story! ♥

Hahaha, well that was a dramatic arrival to say the least! Iím not sure if I feel should feel sorry for the state Rose arrived or just laugh at her because she just seems to be so pitiful. I wonder what was up with Scorpius though, because yes I get that Rose arriving in clothes from centuries ago and looking a bit bewildered is strange, but he seemed oddly cageyÖ

For some reason, I really enjoyed the St. Mungoís scene because itís just quite fun to see how different parts of wizarding society work. It was such a contrast to from the craziness of being with Richard because here everything seemed so orderly and they had a cure right away. Scorpius staying with Rose was interesting too, especially as he denied anything between him and Lucy. Hmm, weíll just have to see I guess.

Aw, I love Hermione! She really is all-knowing I swear and if she had seen Rose in the dress she would have been able to put two and two together right away. It was sad to see what was happening to Arthur and that they would probably have to sell the Burrow but I guess thatís sadly just what happens when you reach that stage in life. Another quick thing I loved about Hermione was her sass regarding Malfoy as I wouldnít mind if he got a Bludger in the face either. :P

Oooh the last scene was strange! I mean, I found it really weird that Rose could find out all these facts about the people she was hanging out with so it must have been even stranger for her to have everything about their lives out in the open for her.

Ooh this was a great chapter and Iím intrigued to see what happens next! ♥


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Review #33, by patronus_charmVisibly Scarred.: Flashback.

27th June 2015:
Back for the final one! ♥

Lydia really does have quite a guilt complex, doesnít she? It makes me wonder whether her parents made her feel guilty a lot as a child, as thereís feeling guilty and then thereís feeling guilty for no rational reason and Lydia is definitely in the latter group. I wonder what it will take for her to realise that it wasnít her fault she was bitten and with the right care everyone will be safe around her.

At least she has her group of supporters with her grandma, Teddy, Minerva and Mopsus of course who played her adorable cameo very well. I just hope they make her think about other things because if she becomes so fixated on this, she will become dangerous almost.

On a more positive note, I do like reading about Hogwarts from the point of the professors as it does give it a new perspective and makes you think about the staffroom dynamic and what happens there rather than the student dynamic. I hope we get to see Lydia teach soon as she does seem to love her students greatly and they seem to like her too, so it will be interesting to see her in a more active role as sheís been kind of passive lately.

Finally, I liked the idea of including Hestia Jones into the school as I couldnít think of a better DADA teacher than a former member of the Order and Iím sure her lessons are very exciting!

Anyhow, I really enjoyed this story so thank you for writing it! ♥


Author's Response: Apologies for the delay replying. This is a pretty busy time of year for me.

I think her parents probably put a certain amount of pressure on her. They are the sort of people who really value success and I think they sort of made her feel she'd let them down by being careless enough to get bitten.

I didn't want to introduce TOO many OC teachers in the first year of my next gen., because I think that can get confusing. And I wanted to draw attention to people like Lydia, so I kept Slughorn teaching for the first year and had one or two of the teachers as people we knew. I also didn't want to have all the new teachers Harry's schoolmates, because with a possible 80+ year age gap between the oldest and youngest teachers at Hogwarts, it seems unlikely that more than a couple would have been at school together. And I did think an ex-Auror or ex-Order member made sense as a DADA teacher.

Glad you enjoyed the story and thanks again for the reviews. Hope it made sense without the context.

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Review #34, by patronus_charmVisibly Scarred.: Panic.

27th June 2015:
Hi again!

I didnít expect Lydia to be friends with Teddy but I liked the twist. Iím just trying to figure out how they were friends just because Teddy must have just left Hogwarts only a few years ago, so unless Lydia was a really cool teacher and they stayed friends, they must have become friends whilst at Hogwarts or whatever. He must be a good one to have given that heís more aware of werewolves than the general population.

Hmm, a bit more was revealed about her parents. Iím guessing the whole letís ignore we have a daughter thing comes from her being a werewolf which makes me even more curious about the circumstances in which she was bitten as that would help reveal a lot about her character. At least her grandma is there to cheer her on because I donít know what sheíd do without any nice relatives.

Oooh I forgot about Bill being bitten by a werewolf as that helps me understand how Victoire and Lydia are friends. I liked how you showed how caring and nice Victoire could be towards Lydia as sheís often portrayed as a horrible person so I liked your portrayal here. So I was right about Lydia teaching Victoire, hmm, now I just have to figure out how they became friends.

Aw, things just seem to be getting worse and worse for poor Lydia, especially at the end with her nails. Luckily, her grandma is full of wisdom and can keep her on the straight and narrow path for now as Lydia really does need a lot of care.

Another great chapter!


Author's Response: Firstly, thanks for all the reviews. This is a spin off from my next gen series, so yeah, I guess I didn't have time to explain everything, as these events take place been chapter 24 and 27 of the second story in the series, so 50 plus chapters.

Lydia has only been teaching a year and a half at this point, so she wasn't teaching Teddy when he was at school. She's actually only 5 or 6 years older than him. She was teaching Victoire in her final year though, which creates a bit of awkwardness.

The friendship with Teddy basically developed because he is working as an assistant to Hermione and they are campaigning for greater rights for werewolves. And he's pretty concerned about her, because he knows what his father went through.

Victoire basically just got drawn into things because Lydia is a friend of her boyfriend's. She is a lovely person though. I hadn't even planned that, but the more I wrote her, the fonder I got of her.

Yeah, the tension with her parents is caused by her lycanthropy. They really didn't deal well with it. "No Room at the Inn" goes into more detail about their reactions after she was bitten, if you're interested.

She really does need a lot of care, poor girl. She's having a pretty tough time.

Thanks again. I'll reply to the other reviews when I get a chance.

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Review #35, by patronus_charmHermione Granger: Ron Needed Her.

27th June 2015:
Hey again Beth! ♥

I donít think I mentioned it in my last review but I really like the Daily Prophet header at the beginning of this as it just adds a little something to the chapter and helps place the reader in the Harry Potter world.

Poor Hermione :( I really like how youíve examined the psychological impact Bellatrix had on her as Iíve never really read about it before but it must have had a really profound and deep impact on for her to feel guilty about not being strong enough to kill her. She shouldnít think that because Bellatrix was so vile there were a ton of people who wished to kill her just as much as she did.

I really liked how you described the events in the first scene too as it had this sombre and stilted tone, like all you said was Fred died but that carried so much more weight than you could have imagined from those few words and it was really powerful to read.

Fredís funeral was really well written as it had so many layers to it. First we had the one everyone would expect Ė the grief and sadness over Fred being dead. Then you explored the physical impact the battle had on them which is something people would tend to forget but is so important for the overall story development too. Then perhaps the most controversial layer in that Hermione was secretly counting her lucky stars it hadnít been Ron which had died. I mean, thatís an entirely normal reaction but I think some people would view it as kind of taboo so Iím glad you included it.

That last scene was truly heart-breaking! It really showed how they all broke down after the sun went down as they no longer had to pretend to be okay and that they had accepted death. I really felt the power of grief there as there was nothing Hermione could do to overcome it except find comfort with Ron as they consoled themselves back to feeling better.

This was another great chapter and I hope you update soon! ♥


Author's Response: Hi Kiana,

Wow - this review is so detailed and I LOVED it. Thanks so much. I'm glad that everything I tried to convey came through in this. My heart broke a little bit while I was writing it - but I wanted to do PTSD justice and think this trio suffered quite a bit. I've always related the most to Hermione - being the strong one has its burdens - and Harry and Ron and a whole slew of other people really did depend on her.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

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Review #36, by patronus_charmVisibly Scarred.: Fear.

27th June 2015:
Hi again! ♥

Ooh the first scene was truly terrifying! For a moment, I thought it was real as everything about it just felt so realistic from her emotions to the studentís reactions. It does make me wonder if itís based on real things, because Lydia still hasnít explained what went wrong with the wolfsbane potion so the idea of her only half-forming into a werewolf seems plausible.

Her grandma was really sweet again! I thought she was the perfect person for this situation because she could obviously sense that Lydia didnít want to be pushed into saying exactly what was wrong with her but showed that she was there for her no matter what. Mopsus was indeed very cute and I do have to say I am glad that Lydia is taking her to Hogwarts as then we get to see a whole lot more of her!

Ooh so her parents are alive, I still wonder why she hasnít thought about them much so I hope we get to find out more later on. I do have to say I was very intrigued as to why McGonagall and Hermione knocked on their door, because, yes, McGonagall is understandable as sheís Lydiaís boss but I could totally understand her paranoia with Hermione because that would be a massive shock.

That was a dramatic turn of events! I wonder what the AWL is? Iím guessing something like the anti-werewolf league who probably go out of their way to tamper with things like wolfsbane potion to make werewolves lives all the much harder. If Umbridge wasnít in Azkaban I would say she must have been behind it.

This was another great chapter and I canít wait to read on! ♥


Author's Response: This was probably the chapter I was most interested in seeing people's response to, because I was wondering how people would interpret the first scene. I was trying to write it in such a way that it came across as a little surreal - nobody being around, the slight feeling of something sinister - but at the same time, believable as real events. I wanted readers to get a similar jolt to Lydia when they see what happens.

She did completely turn into a werewolf, but the dream is probably based a little on her fears of what could have happened had she not ensured the office was locked properly before transforming. The thought of hurting anybody, particularly a student, terrifies her.

You've probably figured out by now why she's trying to avoid thinking of her parents - as doing so leads to the question of why they've made no attempt to see how she is.

You're correct that the A.W.L. is the Anti-Werewolf League. They are campaigning against increasing rights for werewolves and are targeting Lydia personally. There is currently no evidence they do things like tampering with potions, but considering they are trying to discredit her and prove the potion is unreliable, this certainly seems to fit their agenda.

And it's amusing you've mentioned Umbridge, since, while she is still in Azkaban, the plan for the rest of the series involved the A.W.L. campaigning successfully for her release.

Hermione's presence is largely just because of the two counter-campaigns - hers to increase werewolves' rights and the A.W.L.'s to prevent her from doing so. While the actual issue - the possibility of somebody tampering with a potion - is nowhere near serious enough to warrant her personal involvement, she is concerned that if somebody IS trying to make the potion look unreliable, it's an attack, not only on Lydia, but on all werewolves. Sort of the wizarding world's equivalent of a hate crime. And Teddy certainly wants her to take a personal interest.

But of course Lydia doesn't see it that way. Although she has met Hermione once or twice before, it's DEFINITELY a bit of a shock to have the basic equivalent of a government minister show up on your door (not sure if ye say ministers or if ye've a different term, but anyway).

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Review #37, by patronus_charmVisibly Scarred.: Concern.

27th June 2015:
Hey again! ♥

I really liked the way you developed Lydiaís backstory some more by introducing her grandmother as she sounds just like the kind of person Lydia needs in her life now, as she just has that warmth and kindness Grandmas seem to emit all the time. It did make me wonder more about her parents though and why she didnít go to them and if she had any siblings or not. There just seems to be so much mystery surrounding her that I canít wait to find it all out.

It was sad to see how her condition affected her. She had to miss work and go home to recover, she had to be drugged up so to recover from what had happened to her and then she had that constant fear of being found out. I thought you really showed the many issues related to being a werewolf really well as it really is a complex problem.

The letter from her students was incredibly sweet and Iím glad that they sent it to her as that sort of boost to her self-esteem is exactly what she needs right now and hopefully it will help speed along her recovery. It made me wonder again whether sheís had to be sent home before because I can imagine that would send the pureblood gossips into overdrive because we all know what they were like with Remus which was just so sad.

Another great chapter! :)


Author's Response: I'm glad you think I covered the issues affecting Lydia well. She has a lot to deal with, between the physical pain of the transformations, the trauma of the attack itself (even though that was years ago now), the stigma, the difficulty werewolves face getting and keeping jobs, her parents' attitude and so on.

She DOES actually have a younger sibling, but they don't appear in this story and they're about 18 years younger than her anyway, so probably about 7 at this point. If I ever get to year 6 of my series, they'll appear then.

I wanted to give her nice 7th years, because they are old enough to really hurt her if they were mean or to be some support if they're nice.

She hasn't had to go home before, because the way I've interpreted the Wolfsbane, it reduces the pain of the transformation as well as preventing the wolf attacking itself, but she has had to take the day after the transformation off to rest and of course, that has created gossip and speculation.

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Review #38, by patronus_charmHermione Granger: Prologue: Harry Needed Her

27th June 2015:
Hey there Beth! Iím finally here to review this for my challenge and Iím sorry about how long itís taken me to get here! ♥

Aw, this chapter just had such a heart-breaking tone throughout you could really feel and sense Hermioneís pain so much that you just wanted to hug her and never let her go as she was just so frail.

Ron was so adorable in the first section as I could just tell how much he truly loved her and how he was dying to see her again. It just reminded me of how perfect they were for one another really! ♥ But then it somehow made it all the worse because seeing Hermioneís weakened condition through his eyes was all the more heart-breaking as it felt like he wished he could trade places with her just so he could take away all her pain and make her feel better again.

You really showed that sadness in your writing too, as all those stilted sentences and little dialogue showed how much life had been taken out of her and that just highlighted what kind of state Hermione was now in.

The second section was really great too, and I hope this sort of split timeline continues as I really enjoyed it here as it added more perspective to the story and it was interesting to read the events of the Deathly Hallows through her eyes too. Bellatrix really is evil though with the way she reduced Hermione to that state and I couldnít have been gladder that she died. It felt like the only thing which was keeping her going and making her forget about what Bellatrix did to her was the fact Harry needed her and that the whole thing would fall apart without her and Iím not sure if I should be glad there was something to distract her or be sad that that was the only thing keeping her going.

A great chapter, Beth and I canít wait to read on! ♥


Author's Response: Hiya Kiana,

Eeep! I'm so relieved that you like this story. I know not everyone is a Ron/Hermione shipper, but I like to stay true to what JK has put forth for us. In addition, I'm grateful for the opportunity to explore what this pair went through post war.

The split timeline just kinda happened - as I'd written that first part way, way back to go along with my novel. But I really like how this worked out. I think there will be two main parts to the story - One year after the war (Hermione's descent) and then a few months to a year after that (a bit on her recovery). Anyway, my greatest regret is that I haven't gotten more chapters posted for all these challenges.

Thanks Kiana!

♥ Beth

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Review #39, by patronus_charmVisibly Scarred.: Pain

27th June 2015:
Hey there! Iím finally here to review this for my challenge and Iím so sorry about how long itís taken me to get here! ♥

Oooh this is an intriguing story! Lydia does seem to be a very interesting character not only because sheís a werewolf, but because of how sheís so determined to care for her students and makes sure she does the best for them despite her condition as that was sweet. I am very intrigued about her backstory too like how she ended up teaching at Hogwarts and how she got bitten by a werewolf so I hope thatís explored later on. Another thing which I guess will come up sooner is how the wolfsbane potion failed as I hope the consequences of that arenít too bad.

I thought you really showed the caring side to Hogwarts in this chapter which I really loved because I think itís something everyone feels very attached too because everyone is accepted there no matter who you are. That was really shown by how the house elves went out of their way to care for Lydia, how McGonagall always made sure she was okay and how Madam Pomfrey looked after her in a medical sense and all of that was without prejudice which was just lovely to see.

Another little thing I loved about this chapter was how Sybil was proved right with the tea leaves for once and that she was now capable to cover lessons as I always thought of her as an airy fairy person who didnít have a complete grasp of reality, so it was nice to see here she could be a bit more grounded.

This was a great first chapter and I canít wait to read on!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reviews and don't worry about taking a while. You had quite a few entries to get around to!

As you've probably realised by now, this story doesn't entirely clarify details like how the Wolfsbane potion failed, as that's the main mystery in "The Rise of the A.W.L." and even apart from the fact it'd be something of a spoiler, the characters don't find out what happened until about the following May - it's around late January in this story.

I suspect Sybil is probably twisting around what she saw in light of what she now knows. After all, she did, in the books, say she saw what would come up on the test she was setting in the tea leaves, so she's clearly not above making sure her predictions come true.

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Review #40, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the meeting (part two).

27th June 2015:
Down to the final one now!

Okay, Iím sure you must have mentioned Hokey before but I swear this is the first time I noticed the name, so whoo for being right about this being Hepzibah Smith. Iím still waiting to see if the Eileen Prince theory is going to be proved correct or not unless sheís Edmundís and Honoriaís daughter... Anyhow, it was really sweet that Hokey was there for Hepzibah so this process isnít as sad and lonely for her.

The wedding :( My heart honestly broke for her and that she had to go to it no matter what. I just wish that her mother had been more sympathetic to her problem and that she would have let stay at home but sadly she didnít. I could just feel Hepzibahís pain and sadness because it should have been her and could have been her if only Edmund had been a little bit nicer.

The birth was so sad, as it felt like all her pain and fear were erupting out now and there wasnít an end in sight because having the baby would probably just heighten this fear. Iím just glad that her mother finally showed that she had a heart and was there to hold her daughterís hand to be there for her throughout. They even let Hepzibah hold her at the end which was surprising as I thought they would just snatch the baby away, though I guess in the next chapter weíll truly see if her parents are nice or not.

Iíve really enjoyed this so far and I canít wait for the next chapter! ♥


Author's Response: Hello, lovely!

Yes, little Hokey has had an appearance before but she comes into her own a bit more here and plays an important role for Hepzibah - I really loved the idea of having that long bond between them and showing one of the reasons why Hokey would still feel so devoted to Hepzibah when they were both so much older.

Hepzibah's mother isn't exactly the most sympathetic of women, and she's starting to realise that she's not going to have the support that she might hope for from her parents, unfortunately.

It was horrible to write the birth scene - giving birth is (meant to be, since I haven't experienced it yet :P) a terrifying experience anyway and for Hepzibah it's even worse because she doesn't know what's going to happen if she survives it in the first place. Ah, your predictions are interesting, and that's all I can say for now, until you read on :P

Thank you for another brilliant review! ♥

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Review #41, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the quickening.

27th June 2015:
Hey again Sian! ♥

This chapter broke my heart so many times. The beginning was just so sad to see the way everyone was viewing her judgementally and that it wasnít just her family because that might have been somewhat bearable for Hepzibah but the entire wizarding society. The entire situation just felt so horrible for Hepzibah because not being able to tell her parents the full extent of what happened but having to suffer their shame too. I really did feel for her.

It was so sad to see her cut herself out from the circle of friends because only a few months ago she loved it as it meant she could be with Edmund and have fun at all the dinners, balls and dances and now she has to roam in this seclusion. It just really angers me he did this to her and if I could meet him I would definitely have some words for him!

No, no, no! I thought this might happen and all I can say is that I hope Edmund treats Honoria a bit better than he treated Hepzibah otherwise heís just a vile man. I canít believe it was so soon though and it does make me wonder why he refused to marry Hepzibah. I know she didnít have as much money as he did but they honestly seemed to like one another. Or maybe he just likes playing people around and thought it would be fun to mess with her emotions. Hmmm, itís probably that.

I was right about her being pregnant :( I wish I hadnít been as I have a feeling this is going to get a whole lot angstier because single pregnant women in those times was never a good thing and if her father was angry about her just dating Edmund, I donít even want to know what heíll do know.

Great writing as usual and another great chapter! ♥


Author's Response: Hey Kiana! ♥

Um... sorry? A little bit, at least :P

The situation is so horrible and awful and Hepzibah has to be incredibly strong to survive through it, I think; the society at the time gave her so little chance to explain her actions, and there was no justification for them in their eyes, so she's cast out. I think part of the reason that she's cutting herself from her circle of friends is because she wants to protect herself from their judgement and condemnation.

Edmund is horrible. He's interesting to write because he's so cold and manipulative and I don't often write characters like that, but all the same he's a terrible person for doing this to her and ensuring that his own future is fine.

Thank you so much for yet another lovely review!

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Review #42, by patronus_charmSelene: Selene

27th June 2015:
Hi there, finally here to review this for my challenge! ♥

This was honestly one of the most original stories Iíve ever read because usually when people write about magical creatures itís usually making them out to be some horrible things which should be feared, but this boggart was just something so beautifully sad instead. Usually boggarts are something I just dismiss as a nuisance more than anything but you really added depth, feeling and character to this one which I honestly didnít think was possible.

The boggarts entire story about being locked up and being denied her freedom was so sad as you could just sense how much she wanted to be liberated and how she hated being stuck in that little box. Thatís why it was so sweet when Remus got the box because even though she was still in it most of the time she had his kind and constant presence to calm her and make her feel a bit better again.

The bit with the moons was honestly kind of beautiful in a weird way. I thought it was touching to see how connected she was to them with counting time depending on how many moons there had been and how she felt this special connection to them. I can see why she would prefer to turn into one over Snape as a moon has a much more calming and beautiful quality than he ever did. This line - He called you Selene and you called him Remus. Ė it was so simple but so wonderful too.

You really got a sense of how wonderful Remus was in this story too with the way he made Selene feel better and then how he had so much pride in his students, it really was sweet. It really took on a sombre tone once he left after teaching and it just made me realise what a positive impact he had upon Hogwarts and how I wanted him to be back.

The ending was so sad :( In a weird way, it felt that Selene really, truly loved him and wanted to die with him in some sort of Romeo and Juliet esq death but because you added all of this character to her it felt completely believable. The thing with Teddy was kind of horrifying with the way Teddy was always haunted by that image and how Selene always had to pay that tribute to Remus no matter what.

This was a truly wonderful story, so thank you for writing it! ♥


Author's Response: Hello! I'm sorry for taking this long to respond D:

Firstly, I'm still so thrilled that you decided to actually give this story second place and honoured to share a spot with some of the best writers I've seen over by the forums. The challenge was so much fun, because I found myself really pushing the boundaries of my imagination and that of Harry Potter canon.

If the Harry Potter series has taught me anything, it is that everything is multidimensional and to look at something from a single perspective is always misleading. Trying to picture a boggart as a creature with a soul much alike that of a human's, I found a wide range of story possibilities and I simply couldn't resist writing one down!

I'm really glad that the boggart's feelings in the different parts of the story seeped through - I'm not quite equipped in the art of producing vague, philosophical sentences with oceans of meaning so to try my hand at this style made me a bit nervous as to whether the story would actually make sense to the reader. I'm incredibly happy that it did and that you were able to actually sympathize with a creature like a boggart.

I do really feel for Teddy in this piece and, as you mentioned, I think seeing something like that would have been truly scarring for a child. It seems as though wizards and witches are taught that creatures like boggarts are always under the wizard's control. To witness one of them literally defy every command that a wizard as equipped as the Defense professor issued must have also been rather terrifying.

Anyway, thanks again for the supremely fun challenge and for the lovely award!

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Review #43, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the rejection.

26th June 2015:
Hey again Sian! ♥

No, I knew it, I knew it, but I wished with all my heart that I could have been proved wrong but sadly I wasnít :( I think it was made all the worse now her mother had sort of accepted the fact that Edmund was hers and was asking after him, because thereís nothing worse than having to admit to your parent that you made a mistake and you could really sense Hepzibahís shame in that she didnít have a response for her and just didnít know what to say.

I thought you showed Hepzibahís deterioration really well even if I wish it didnít have to habit. It was just so vivid because not only was her body fading away but her physical presence and energy and everything really were going too, and that was just so sad as she was just so charming and spirited before. I think it was made even worse that the one thing she could still cling onto was her hope that he would come back to her and this was just some weird blip in their relationship.

I had some very strong words towards Edmund when he appeared. Not only did he show up with another girl at her relativeís house but what he said to her to! He really does have no feeling, and he kind of reminds me of Voldemort in his Tom Riddle days with the way he would use someone emotionally and then have no care of the consequences of his actions. I just have to hope that Hepzibah didnít end up pregnant or anything as that would just make the whole thing a whole lot more complicated!

Great chapter! ♥


Author's Response: Hi again, Kiana! ♥

I think that everybody, including Hepzibah, felt like Edmund's attentions to her were a guarantee of their future marriage. Obviously her parents didn't know about what she'd done with him, but society did expect the proposal as well - of course, they're all going to be disappointed and surprised as well.

I'm so pleased you liked the way I showed that Hepzibah had become more and more depressed and was struggling more with the fact that Edmund wasn't there and wasn't contacting her. She relied so much on him and fell so hard and just wasn't equipped for the fact that he might not return, and how to survive alone. She's always been told that a relationship and a marriage are the important goals in life and so the idea of that disappearing from her isn't something she'd expected to deal with.

Edmund is just horrible, and you have my full approval to say strong words towards him :P He's so cold and manipulative and this is something he's mostly planned from the start - he doesn't really care at all what the consequences are for Hepzibah, but he does care about his own future and that's all he's done to cement it.

Thank you so much for yet another brilliant review!

Sian :)

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Review #44, by patronus_charmStrangers in the End: Where is Home

26th June 2015:
Hey there! Finally here to review this for my challenge! :)

Aw, this was really heart-breaking and really interesting to read at the same too, because illnesses such as dementia or Alzheimerís are always hard things to cover but you broached the subject really well and it felt very real and genuine. I always wondered about the after effects of the memory spell Hermione had put on them, I really liked how you developed it further here, though not the effects of it as itís so sad to see that it led to this.

Hermione was truly wonderful here. It was just so true to her caring nature that she would look after her mother no matter how hard it got and it was so sweet to see how patient she was and how she would always be there for her. I felt so sad for Hermione as it felt like everything she said and did had to be thought out before and taken with caution as she would never know how her mother would react and to have to be like that with her parent is just so sad.

The bit when Hermioneís mumís memory broke through was just so ♥ Iím so glad that they could have this moment to bond over their husband and father and that she did remember just for that one moment as it must have meant so much to Hermione and it will be the sort of thing youíll never forget. However, it was made all the more heart-breaking because Hermioneís mum just drifted back into her old state straight after which made it so sad.

I really hope Hermione does power on and continue to care for her mother because even though it must break her heart every day to be seen as a stranger, it must be strangely rewarding too to be there for her.

Great story! ♥


Author's Response: Hey Kiana! (Please accept my apologies for returning to with a really late response!)

Yeah, Alzheimer's and Dementia are hard subjects to approach, but I'm glad you said that I did very well with this area. I believe if I had not gone through what I had with my grandmother, I don't think I'd did well with this or probably not written something like this in the first place.

Yes, I wish the aspect of Hermione using the memory spell on her parents were explored in the books, but it's cool I had gotten the chance here, and it is sad, because it is something I thought something similar if not at all entirely, what would have happened if Hermione could not properly reunite with her parents.

All that you said is true and I agree. I love the last thing you said too, that I didn't consider at first, that Hermione still felt some type of reward with being with her parents. In fact, more enough to explore in a multi-chapter fic. Hm... thanks for the idea/inspiration!

Aw thanks! ♥ I am grateful that you read and reviewed this! :D

Thank you as well for creating this challenge for me to write this. I enjoyed it and I'm happy to had participated it!


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Review #45, by patronus_charmSerenity: Serenity

26th June 2015:
Hi there Laura! Sorry for taking a while to get this but Iím finally here to review this for my challenge! ♥ Iím going to review section by section as theyíre all so different and wonderful, I feel like this is the best way to do it!

Part 1, i Ė oooh your writing! ♥ Itís honestly so pretty and so wonderful and itís making me feel a little jealous right now as itís not overloaded at all but still conveys so much, like Padmaís letter from her mum just had so many feelings in it it was so sweet! Aw, the thing with Anthony was sweet! ♥ He seems to be very cute in a geeky way and the way he clearly has a thing for Padma is adorable too, though I am interested to find out more about Isobel and whatís with her and Padma as there does seem to be something there.

Part 1, ii Ė wah, wah, wah I think I was just flailing about because all of those feels were too much and too wonderfully and cute and wah! I really loved how you described the Ravenclaw girls as like some sort of sisterhood as it was sweet to see how close they were and how they had banded together and I really enjoyed getting some backstory to Padma too. With the kissing bit, that was so adorable and it was cute how even Oliver Wood couldnít stand up to Isobel in Padmaís eyes. I am literally shipping them so much right now, so youíd better not go breaking them up, okay? This line - I had unknowingly, yet voluntarily given one piece of myself to her in that first kiss. Ė so perfect! ♥

Part 2, I Ė I really liked how you mentioned Jaipur as a lot of the time people forget that Padma and Parvati are from India so it was great to see it remembered here. The carriage ride with Anthony really was interesting just to see how much pressure Padma is under because her family want her to have a husband and a good marriage, and whilst she likes Anthony and gets on with him she canít force it to happen. Itís just quite sad to see that Isobel is the person who will truly make her happy yet she can never be with her.

Part 2, iii Ė this section was just beautifully sad. Beautiful in that your writing really conveyed their dilemma and made me feel it completely and then sad as they had to keep it as a secret and no one could ever find out how happy they were and how much they meant to one another. Their relationship really does have an ominous feel to it :(

Part 3 Ė this was heart-breaking again, because Padmaís dilemma is also a cultural one which makes it so much harder as her parents would have to overcome a cultural barrier as well as a person one to accept that their daughter is dating a girl. I can kind of see why she pretended she had a boyfriend, but poor Isobel as it must be hard. The ending with Anthony :( I hope the laughter was just from shock and it doesnít show his genuine feelings regarding lesbians.

Part 4 Ė what did you to me Laura? What did you do to such a perfect ship? No, no, no that was mean ending it like that. I just canít, I canít. Poor Padma :( She had so much silent rage in her almost, she was so calm and so composed but I could feel her breaking down inside and it was so sad and I feel almost as sad as she does. Itís too much!

The ending :( I feel like Iím in pieces because despite this being so short, I invested so much in the two of them and they were so perfect and wonderful and for them to finish it that way was just so sad. This was really beautiful and the experiment most definitely paid off!


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Review #46, by patronus_charm(Sometimes) Love: Just Ain't Enough

26th June 2015:
Hey there Rose! Iím going to review this as I read as I donít think Iíll be able to once Iíve finished this as I know how you are when it comes to Ronks!

No, the first bit :( It was so sad to see them arguing because we obviously knew what was going to happen so I just wanted them to have a few last happy moments together but it sadly wasnít the case. I just wanted to yell at the story and tell them to care about their family more and stay at home so they could be happy and whole but obviously if they did that, they would be letting the Order down and then the battle might not have gone to plan.

This line - I canít be your second priority or lower and neither can Teddy Ė I was literally close to sobbing here, like no Tonks, donít leave it with that as you may never speak to him again! This one though ĎYouíll always have me, Teddyí that was just cruel Rose and a step too far because I canít control all those feels.

It honestly felt like Andromeda had a sixth sense, like she knew what was going to happen to both them. I mean, she did have a fair point about Tonks just giving birth and needing to recover from that first, but then I can see why Tonks felt like she needed to fight. Their entire conversation was just so sad though as I knew it would be their last and at least they didnít end up arguing but it was just so sad :(

No, no, no it was just so sad and dramatic when she arrived at Hogwarts because when she talked to anyone I got all emotional and kept on thinking this would be the last time they would talk and the last time they would see her alive and it was just so sad. Despite all the emotions, you got all the action in really well too and we could really sense the intensity of the battle which was really cool.

This line - The auror in her wanted to stop and fight but the woman in love needed to find her husband. Ė that was cool and so sweet!

No, no, no Rose!!! You didnít let them have a final conversation :( A final look yes which was very sweet, but I just wanted them to end on slightly better terms and I know I feel like crying a little. I guess one sweet thing was at least Tonks could hold Remusí hand whilst she died, but still she had to die :(

Iím going to go eat some chocolate now in honour of Remus and to make myself feel better!


Author's Response: I had a short list of people I wanted to make cry with this... you were one of them. ♥

I'm sorry I didn't give them a happy moment together as a family. If you go back in time like an hour, there'd be happiness. I promise.

I was also breaking my own feels writing this. Those lines hurt me too (except I laughed and then cried).

Andromeda def. had a bad feeling but Tonks was just too insistent on going. I was nice enough to give them a happier last conversation.

*hides* They had what they needed with the look though. I mean, Remus understood Tonks was there because she forgave him.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review!!


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Review #47, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the fall.

25th June 2015:
Hey again Sian! ♥

I really like how in each chapter you really capture the changing mood of their relationship because in this one it was a lot more toxic almost and they were really focused on one another and their all-consuming love if that makes sense. I wish this was a good thing though because I have a feeling the more and more toxic and consuming their love becomes the more and more dangerous it will get so Iím not looking forward to finding out what happens in the end.

Oooh I am getting more and more intrigued about the backstory to Edmund, because going to his house today heís obviously very wealthy which is making me think heís one of these ancient pureblood families. I just have a feeling thereís something dark and sinister about him, like heís living a double life because itís all very well for Hepzibah to think he wants to marry her but unless he actually does marry her sheíll be in a lot of trouble with her reputation.

The fall at the end was different to the fall I was imagining from the chapter title as I thought the fall of their relationship but this fall of her reputation could have a lot more ramifications! It really is sad how many limits women had to live by in that era whereas men didnít really have any at all. Hmm, though my latest crazy idea is that she gets pregnant and that child is Eileen Prince? Okay, Iím not sure how that would work out with the timescale and stuff but I still have a feeling that there is a link to Eileen.

This was a great chapter and I canít wait to find out what happens next! ♥


Author's Response: Hey, Kiana! ♥

I'm so pleased that you picked up on the way that their relationship is switching and shifting in each chapter of this story - it's definitely changed a lot from the beginning and you're right in saying that this has become so consuming that it's probably toxic for them. It's definitely becoming a little dangerous, as you'll see in future chapters.

Edmund is definitely an interesting character - he's been so fun to write. Since the chapters are so short, you don't get to see a lot of his backstory but you do find more out about his motivations and his plans, and I hope you enjoy finding out more about it. You're so right about the difference between what Hepzibah thinks and what might actually happen, though!

I wanted the chapter title to have several possible meanings, and you might be closer than you think with what you thought it originally meant, actually :P It's so frustrating to have to conform to the limitations of the era because it's just so, so unfair the way that women had to live back then (and still do now, in so many places), but it is important to include those details for the story. Your theory is an interesting one, but I can't say much yet about it :P

Thank you so much for your wonderful review! ♥

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Review #48, by patronus_charmOnce More: Once More

25th June 2015:
Hey there Andrew! Here to finally review this for my challenge!

Oooh I absolutely loved the first section! Scorpius was such a hilarious character with the way he had an arrangement with a House Elf and his inner thoughts even seemed to be so refined and posh. He truly was living up to the Malfoy name I guess. He had this lovely wit about him too, especially with Rose as I do wonder if there is any history between them or whether this is just an irrational hatred.

Hmm, itís interesting how Hugo and Rose turned out in terms of looks as usually Rose is a replica of Hermione and Hugo is a replica of Ron, so this more unusual take on them makes it a whole lot interesting. I do wonder what it means for Scorpius though as I do have a feeling he might be bi as heís drawn to the manly Rose and seemingly drawn to the more girly Hugo. Though Iím not sure how Albus fits into this as Scorpius did get flutters when hugging himÖ I do have to quickly say that I really love your characterisation of Scorpius as itís so original and you donít know what heíll be thinking next!

Aw, I loved the cameo from Hagrid as itís always great to see him pop up again and Iím glad heís still teaching them about Hippogriffs even after everything that happened with Draco. Hahaha, it did make me laugh that Albus was so like Harry in terms of going first and then playing the hero with the dragon because wow I did not expect that twist in the story! The drama with the dragon was so well written and really dynamic too that I loved reading it! The last bit of that scene! ♥ That was adorably cute between the two of them and I was just gushing so much.

That last scene!! That was so sad as you could really sense Scorpiusí pain for Albus knowing that Albus was in pain every day and that they could never ever be a normal couple. I think that last line really highlighted how sad it was because it must be horrible having to think that thought day in and day out.

Thanks for writing this Andrew, it was a really great entry!


Author's Response: Hi there, as I said in my last response, it has been hard for me to respond to all of these wonderful reviews - the sheer emotion of it all tends to handicap me. Enough of the prevarication, on with my response.

You say that this review was done because it was submitted to your challenge. It has been so long and I submitted it to so many, that I have forgotten exactly which challenge yours was, lol. Thank you for the review though and all the challenges added in some way to the story that I eventually wrote - it made me refine and polish what I wanted to do so that it fit into each. Not only that but each challenge forced me to make the story better in some way.

Yes, I always like to reinforce the posh nature of Scorpius. It wouldn't be a condescending or horrible deal he had with the House-elves, but he would have one. I could even see him in the begining actually doing the ironing of the trousers himself, until that act alone impressed itself upon the elves that he wasn't trying to treat them like slaves.

As to his history with Rose. It has been a rivalry over the years, with it's attendant ups and downs, but largely any hatred upon Rose's part is not only irrational, but tired and old. It has been going on too long and has devolved into habit; she should have put it behind her ere now. Too late though, and we get the glimering of the fact that Rose may just be begining to realise herself that the foundations of her dislike for Scorpius have been built upon sand.

Thanks for your comments upon the character of Scorpius. He is in such a transition state that even he is not fully aware of where his emotions may lead him to next. As to Rose, I always think that she takes far more after the Weasley side, in temperament especially, than her after mother - except in the brains department.

If we are talking hippogriffs and a Care of Magical Creatures class, then I just had to include Hagrid; I also find him a delight to write. I'm glad you enjoyed the drama of the scene with the dragon, I really wanted it to work. As to that last bit, when imminent death is upon them, it at last forces the pair to be honest with each other.

And then it turns around and we find out that it is horrible for both of them. I'm glad that it gave you 'the sads' - that was my intent.

Thanks for the review and thanks for the challenge.

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Review #49, by patronus_charmThis Penitentiary We Call Life: 1

24th June 2015:
Hey there, here to review this for my challenge!

I really enjoyed this take on Lucius! We so rarely see the human side to him as heís so often portrayed as this dark, cunning man and itís Narcissa whoís the loving one, so it was rather refreshing to see Lucius like that too as I do believe a big motivation of his was his wife and son. That idea was really highlighted in the first few lines as he felt so awful about reducing his family to nothing and almost leaving them destitute that you almost began to feel sorry for him despite all the horrible things he did.

One thing I really loved about this was your description! There was so much contrast throughout the story as the description of Narcissaís looks almost made her seem like some modern day Helen of Troy and then that was contrasted with the pitiful state they were now in which made it sad to see something so beautiful and great to be brought down to something low. Then that made the entire story angstier so yay for that!

Another I liked about this was that Lucius realised the errors of his path. I guess living in such a state made him confront reality about his actions so it was good to see that he was remorseful about what he did and that he realised he had then passed on that trait to his son. That was just such an important point in terms of reconciliation because if he realised that it would hopefully mean Draco wouldnít then go make the same mistakes with Scorpius.

This was a really great story and a really interesting and original take on the Malfoys! ♥


Author's Response: Hi Kiana!
Thank you for the review. Lucius is one of my favourite characters because we know a fair bit about him, without really knowing anything about him at all (if that makes sense). I really enjoyed writing for your challenge, I've never written angst before so this really was a challenge for me!


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Review #50, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the passion.

24th June 2015:
Back again! ♥

Again, your description was wonderful! I really loved how you compared Edmund to a star as it does seem like he has provided this new light and life to Hepzibahís life and he is making her feel as if she does have purpose again. However, I think Iím paying too much attention to the word streaking as itís making me think that thereís perhaps a darker side to Edmund and as quickly as he appeared in her life, heíll disappear from it at the same speed.

But weíll wait and see on that front and just enjoy their new romance for now as you wrote it so well! Hepzibah seemed to be so entrapped by him, everything in her life revolved around him as she viewed every dinner, game and ball as a way to see him and it makes me just fear for her because when the break-up happens (and Iím not being pessimistic, this is written for an angst challenge after all!) itís just going to make it so much worse.

Again, I loved how you included all these little things to make it more fitting for the era such as her mother wanting Hepzibah to heed caution so not to damage her reputation and their entire courtship really. It did sound rather suffocating with the way in which the elders followed them around the room and always watched them. It makes me wonder if theyíre going to run away just so they can have their own space.

The ending was really beautiful! ♥ Theyíre just so in love itís so sweet and wonderful but I donít want to read the next chapter as I donít even want to think about what happens next, so hopefully youíve delayed the inevitable for a few more chapters!


Author's Response: Hi again, Kiana! ♥

Ah, I'm so pleased you liked the description here! With it being set in this era it felt really important, and especially since this is also for the Romanticism Challenge, and I'm glad it worked. Haha, maybe you're not wrong to pay attention to my word choice here, as I did have to think carefully about every one until I got it down to 500 words!

Hepzibah has definitely fallen for Edmund very hard and very quickly! Haha you're not being pessimistic - you're right that this was written for the Angst challenge, so there's a certain predictability to it (plus I'm a little bit evil and like torturing my characters). She's so consumed by him right now and is rather young and naive about the whole thing, but it could certainly make it worse at the end.

I'm really pleased you liked the little details! I enjoyed including them so much because I love trying to give a sense of the era that this is taking place in, and they were interesting to think about how they might affect the courtship.

Hehe I'm just enjoying writing the nice parts, why would I be mean to you? (Okay, okay...) I'm so glad you enjoyed this Kiana, and thank you for your fantastic reviews! ♥

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