Reading Reviews From Member: patronus_charm
  
1,517 Reviews Found

Review #26, by patronus_charmSelene: Selene

27th June 2015:
Hi there, finally here to review this for my challenge! ♥

This was honestly one of the most original stories Iíve ever read because usually when people write about magical creatures itís usually making them out to be some horrible things which should be feared, but this boggart was just something so beautifully sad instead. Usually boggarts are something I just dismiss as a nuisance more than anything but you really added depth, feeling and character to this one which I honestly didnít think was possible.

The boggarts entire story about being locked up and being denied her freedom was so sad as you could just sense how much she wanted to be liberated and how she hated being stuck in that little box. Thatís why it was so sweet when Remus got the box because even though she was still in it most of the time she had his kind and constant presence to calm her and make her feel a bit better again.

The bit with the moons was honestly kind of beautiful in a weird way. I thought it was touching to see how connected she was to them with counting time depending on how many moons there had been and how she felt this special connection to them. I can see why she would prefer to turn into one over Snape as a moon has a much more calming and beautiful quality than he ever did. This line - He called you Selene and you called him Remus. Ė it was so simple but so wonderful too.

You really got a sense of how wonderful Remus was in this story too with the way he made Selene feel better and then how he had so much pride in his students, it really was sweet. It really took on a sombre tone once he left after teaching and it just made me realise what a positive impact he had upon Hogwarts and how I wanted him to be back.

The ending was so sad :( In a weird way, it felt that Selene really, truly loved him and wanted to die with him in some sort of Romeo and Juliet esq death but because you added all of this character to her it felt completely believable. The thing with Teddy was kind of horrifying with the way Teddy was always haunted by that image and how Selene always had to pay that tribute to Remus no matter what.

This was a truly wonderful story, so thank you for writing it! ♥

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #27, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the rejection.

26th June 2015:
Hey again Sian! ♥

No, I knew it, I knew it, but I wished with all my heart that I could have been proved wrong but sadly I wasnít :( I think it was made all the worse now her mother had sort of accepted the fact that Edmund was hers and was asking after him, because thereís nothing worse than having to admit to your parent that you made a mistake and you could really sense Hepzibahís shame in that she didnít have a response for her and just didnít know what to say.

I thought you showed Hepzibahís deterioration really well even if I wish it didnít have to habit. It was just so vivid because not only was her body fading away but her physical presence and energy and everything really were going too, and that was just so sad as she was just so charming and spirited before. I think it was made even worse that the one thing she could still cling onto was her hope that he would come back to her and this was just some weird blip in their relationship.

I had some very strong words towards Edmund when he appeared. Not only did he show up with another girl at her relativeís house but what he said to her to! He really does have no feeling, and he kind of reminds me of Voldemort in his Tom Riddle days with the way he would use someone emotionally and then have no care of the consequences of his actions. I just have to hope that Hepzibah didnít end up pregnant or anything as that would just make the whole thing a whole lot more complicated!

Great chapter! ♥

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #28, by patronus_charmStrangers in the End: Where is Home

26th June 2015:
Hey there! Finally here to review this for my challenge! :)

Aw, this was really heart-breaking and really interesting to read at the same too, because illnesses such as dementia or Alzheimerís are always hard things to cover but you broached the subject really well and it felt very real and genuine. I always wondered about the after effects of the memory spell Hermione had put on them, I really liked how you developed it further here, though not the effects of it as itís so sad to see that it led to this.

Hermione was truly wonderful here. It was just so true to her caring nature that she would look after her mother no matter how hard it got and it was so sweet to see how patient she was and how she would always be there for her. I felt so sad for Hermione as it felt like everything she said and did had to be thought out before and taken with caution as she would never know how her mother would react and to have to be like that with her parent is just so sad.

The bit when Hermioneís mumís memory broke through was just so ♥ Iím so glad that they could have this moment to bond over their husband and father and that she did remember just for that one moment as it must have meant so much to Hermione and it will be the sort of thing youíll never forget. However, it was made all the more heart-breaking because Hermioneís mum just drifted back into her old state straight after which made it so sad.

I really hope Hermione does power on and continue to care for her mother because even though it must break her heart every day to be seen as a stranger, it must be strangely rewarding too to be there for her.

Great story! ♥

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #29, by patronus_charmSerenity: Serenity

26th June 2015:
Hi there Laura! Sorry for taking a while to get this but Iím finally here to review this for my challenge! ♥ Iím going to review section by section as theyíre all so different and wonderful, I feel like this is the best way to do it!

Part 1, i Ė oooh your writing! ♥ Itís honestly so pretty and so wonderful and itís making me feel a little jealous right now as itís not overloaded at all but still conveys so much, like Padmaís letter from her mum just had so many feelings in it it was so sweet! Aw, the thing with Anthony was sweet! ♥ He seems to be very cute in a geeky way and the way he clearly has a thing for Padma is adorable too, though I am interested to find out more about Isobel and whatís with her and Padma as there does seem to be something there.

Part 1, ii Ė wah, wah, wah I think I was just flailing about because all of those feels were too much and too wonderfully and cute and wah! I really loved how you described the Ravenclaw girls as like some sort of sisterhood as it was sweet to see how close they were and how they had banded together and I really enjoyed getting some backstory to Padma too. With the kissing bit, that was so adorable and it was cute how even Oliver Wood couldnít stand up to Isobel in Padmaís eyes. I am literally shipping them so much right now, so youíd better not go breaking them up, okay? This line - I had unknowingly, yet voluntarily given one piece of myself to her in that first kiss. Ė so perfect! ♥

Part 2, I Ė I really liked how you mentioned Jaipur as a lot of the time people forget that Padma and Parvati are from India so it was great to see it remembered here. The carriage ride with Anthony really was interesting just to see how much pressure Padma is under because her family want her to have a husband and a good marriage, and whilst she likes Anthony and gets on with him she canít force it to happen. Itís just quite sad to see that Isobel is the person who will truly make her happy yet she can never be with her.

Part 2, iii Ė this section was just beautifully sad. Beautiful in that your writing really conveyed their dilemma and made me feel it completely and then sad as they had to keep it as a secret and no one could ever find out how happy they were and how much they meant to one another. Their relationship really does have an ominous feel to it :(

Part 3 Ė this was heart-breaking again, because Padmaís dilemma is also a cultural one which makes it so much harder as her parents would have to overcome a cultural barrier as well as a person one to accept that their daughter is dating a girl. I can kind of see why she pretended she had a boyfriend, but poor Isobel as it must be hard. The ending with Anthony :( I hope the laughter was just from shock and it doesnít show his genuine feelings regarding lesbians.

Part 4 Ė what did you to me Laura? What did you do to such a perfect ship? No, no, no that was mean ending it like that. I just canít, I canít. Poor Padma :( She had so much silent rage in her almost, she was so calm and so composed but I could feel her breaking down inside and it was so sad and I feel almost as sad as she does. Itís too much!

The ending :( I feel like Iím in pieces because despite this being so short, I invested so much in the two of them and they were so perfect and wonderful and for them to finish it that way was just so sad. This was really beautiful and the experiment most definitely paid off!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #30, by patronus_charm(Sometimes) Love: Just Ain't Enough

26th June 2015:
Hey there Rose! Iím going to review this as I read as I donít think Iíll be able to once Iíve finished this as I know how you are when it comes to Ronks!

No, the first bit :( It was so sad to see them arguing because we obviously knew what was going to happen so I just wanted them to have a few last happy moments together but it sadly wasnít the case. I just wanted to yell at the story and tell them to care about their family more and stay at home so they could be happy and whole but obviously if they did that, they would be letting the Order down and then the battle might not have gone to plan.

This line - I canít be your second priority or lower and neither can Teddy Ė I was literally close to sobbing here, like no Tonks, donít leave it with that as you may never speak to him again! This one though ĎYouíll always have me, Teddyí that was just cruel Rose and a step too far because I canít control all those feels.

It honestly felt like Andromeda had a sixth sense, like she knew what was going to happen to both them. I mean, she did have a fair point about Tonks just giving birth and needing to recover from that first, but then I can see why Tonks felt like she needed to fight. Their entire conversation was just so sad though as I knew it would be their last and at least they didnít end up arguing but it was just so sad :(

No, no, no it was just so sad and dramatic when she arrived at Hogwarts because when she talked to anyone I got all emotional and kept on thinking this would be the last time they would talk and the last time they would see her alive and it was just so sad. Despite all the emotions, you got all the action in really well too and we could really sense the intensity of the battle which was really cool.

This line - The auror in her wanted to stop and fight but the woman in love needed to find her husband. Ė that was cool and so sweet!

No, no, no Rose!!! You didnít let them have a final conversation :( A final look yes which was very sweet, but I just wanted them to end on slightly better terms and I know I feel like crying a little. I guess one sweet thing was at least Tonks could hold Remusí hand whilst she died, but still she had to die :(

Iím going to go eat some chocolate now in honour of Remus and to make myself feel better!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #31, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the fall.

25th June 2015:
Hey again Sian! ♥

I really like how in each chapter you really capture the changing mood of their relationship because in this one it was a lot more toxic almost and they were really focused on one another and their all-consuming love if that makes sense. I wish this was a good thing though because I have a feeling the more and more toxic and consuming their love becomes the more and more dangerous it will get so Iím not looking forward to finding out what happens in the end.

Oooh I am getting more and more intrigued about the backstory to Edmund, because going to his house today heís obviously very wealthy which is making me think heís one of these ancient pureblood families. I just have a feeling thereís something dark and sinister about him, like heís living a double life because itís all very well for Hepzibah to think he wants to marry her but unless he actually does marry her sheíll be in a lot of trouble with her reputation.

The fall at the end was different to the fall I was imagining from the chapter title as I thought the fall of their relationship but this fall of her reputation could have a lot more ramifications! It really is sad how many limits women had to live by in that era whereas men didnít really have any at all. Hmm, though my latest crazy idea is that she gets pregnant and that child is Eileen Prince? Okay, Iím not sure how that would work out with the timescale and stuff but I still have a feeling that there is a link to Eileen.

This was a great chapter and I canít wait to find out what happens next! ♥

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #32, by patronus_charmOnce More: Once More

25th June 2015:
Hey there Andrew! Here to finally review this for my challenge!

Oooh I absolutely loved the first section! Scorpius was such a hilarious character with the way he had an arrangement with a House Elf and his inner thoughts even seemed to be so refined and posh. He truly was living up to the Malfoy name I guess. He had this lovely wit about him too, especially with Rose as I do wonder if there is any history between them or whether this is just an irrational hatred.

Hmm, itís interesting how Hugo and Rose turned out in terms of looks as usually Rose is a replica of Hermione and Hugo is a replica of Ron, so this more unusual take on them makes it a whole lot interesting. I do wonder what it means for Scorpius though as I do have a feeling he might be bi as heís drawn to the manly Rose and seemingly drawn to the more girly Hugo. Though Iím not sure how Albus fits into this as Scorpius did get flutters when hugging himÖ I do have to quickly say that I really love your characterisation of Scorpius as itís so original and you donít know what heíll be thinking next!

Aw, I loved the cameo from Hagrid as itís always great to see him pop up again and Iím glad heís still teaching them about Hippogriffs even after everything that happened with Draco. Hahaha, it did make me laugh that Albus was so like Harry in terms of going first and then playing the hero with the dragon because wow I did not expect that twist in the story! The drama with the dragon was so well written and really dynamic too that I loved reading it! The last bit of that scene! ♥ That was adorably cute between the two of them and I was just gushing so much.

That last scene!! That was so sad as you could really sense Scorpiusí pain for Albus knowing that Albus was in pain every day and that they could never ever be a normal couple. I think that last line really highlighted how sad it was because it must be horrible having to think that thought day in and day out.

Thanks for writing this Andrew, it was a really great entry!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #33, by patronus_charmThis Penitentiary We Call Life: 1

24th June 2015:
Hey there, here to review this for my challenge!

I really enjoyed this take on Lucius! We so rarely see the human side to him as heís so often portrayed as this dark, cunning man and itís Narcissa whoís the loving one, so it was rather refreshing to see Lucius like that too as I do believe a big motivation of his was his wife and son. That idea was really highlighted in the first few lines as he felt so awful about reducing his family to nothing and almost leaving them destitute that you almost began to feel sorry for him despite all the horrible things he did.

One thing I really loved about this was your description! There was so much contrast throughout the story as the description of Narcissaís looks almost made her seem like some modern day Helen of Troy and then that was contrasted with the pitiful state they were now in which made it sad to see something so beautiful and great to be brought down to something low. Then that made the entire story angstier so yay for that!

Another I liked about this was that Lucius realised the errors of his path. I guess living in such a state made him confront reality about his actions so it was good to see that he was remorseful about what he did and that he realised he had then passed on that trait to his son. That was just such an important point in terms of reconciliation because if he realised that it would hopefully mean Draco wouldnít then go make the same mistakes with Scorpius.

This was a really great story and a really interesting and original take on the Malfoys! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!
Thank you for the review. Lucius is one of my favourite characters because we know a fair bit about him, without really knowing anything about him at all (if that makes sense). I really enjoyed writing for your challenge, I've never written angst before so this really was a challenge for me!

Lea


 Report Review

Review #34, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the passion.

24th June 2015:
Back again! ♥

Again, your description was wonderful! I really loved how you compared Edmund to a star as it does seem like he has provided this new light and life to Hepzibahís life and he is making her feel as if she does have purpose again. However, I think Iím paying too much attention to the word streaking as itís making me think that thereís perhaps a darker side to Edmund and as quickly as he appeared in her life, heíll disappear from it at the same speed.

But weíll wait and see on that front and just enjoy their new romance for now as you wrote it so well! Hepzibah seemed to be so entrapped by him, everything in her life revolved around him as she viewed every dinner, game and ball as a way to see him and it makes me just fear for her because when the break-up happens (and Iím not being pessimistic, this is written for an angst challenge after all!) itís just going to make it so much worse.

Again, I loved how you included all these little things to make it more fitting for the era such as her mother wanting Hepzibah to heed caution so not to damage her reputation and their entire courtship really. It did sound rather suffocating with the way in which the elders followed them around the room and always watched them. It makes me wonder if theyíre going to run away just so they can have their own space.

The ending was really beautiful! ♥ Theyíre just so in love itís so sweet and wonderful but I donít want to read the next chapter as I donít even want to think about what happens next, so hopefully youíve delayed the inevitable for a few more chapters!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #35, by patronus_charmUnravel. : Millicent.

24th June 2015:
Back again for the final one! And wow this did take a dark and disturbing turn (though in a good way, donít worry!)

I really loved your description here as it really helped build up the eerie side to Millicentís character because all the references to the stars and the sky kind of made the reader aware that Millicent wasnít like anyone else and that she was different, albeit in a not so good way. I really liked the second person POV here too as it really helped create this mysterious air to her as it was detached yet still linked to her and that created a cool dynamic.

The moment with the cat was terrifying! Iím quite interested in the psychology behind serial killers and an awful lot of them harmed animals when they were younger, so it was kind of telling how twisted Millicent was going to end up being if she did that to them then. In a way I liked it because she seemed like quite an unassuming character so it was interesting to read, but on the other hand I just wish she was a bit sane as that was just weird what she did.

Hmmm, in a weird way I kind of felt sorry for her too with the ways she was on her own and she was mocked by the Slytherins as thatís never a fun position to be in. I also liked how she was the original rebel against Malfoy as she realised what he was capable of. Hmmm, or maybe they realised what she was capable of and thatís why they stayed away from her?

The ending was terrifying! If she is smarter and more patient than Riddle I dread to think what sheíll end up doing as it doesnít sound like a pleasant world to live in! Anyhow, I really enjoyed these three stories as they really did provide a new take on these three Slytherins.

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #36, by patronus_charmUnravel. : Blaise.

24th June 2015:
Hey again!

Aw this just read like one of the saddest love letters in the world! I really, really loved this glimpse into Blaiseís mind as I will have to admit his one of the characters I do tend to forget about but this story definitely made me notice him a lot and make me think that there could be a lot more to him as a person. I thought you wrote him really well and really engaged with all his thoughts and emotions and I felt as if I had really good sense of who he was as a person by the end which is impressive given how short the story actually was.

I really loved the idea of him being in love with Theo as it was just so sweet and fitted so well. You could just tell with everything Blaise said that he did genuinely love Theo but then that meant everything he said just had this added level of pain to it because he and the reader both knew that pureblood society probably wouldnít be tolerate of people who were gay which just makes it so sad. :(

This line - If she knew my secret, I would probably end up like one of her husbands. Ė really highlighted that because a parent should care and love their child no matter and the fact that Blaiseís mother wouldnít was heart-breaking.

Another thing I found heart-breaking was when Blaise was talking about being with the Veela and how it meant nothing to him because all he wanted was to be with Theo. That just made me all feelsy because even though it was adorably cute, it was so sad too knowing that it would probably never happen and that he had to lie to all his friends about what a great time he had with her.

I really loved this and if you wrote a version of this from Theoís perspective I would love to read it because I am intrigued about whether he likes Blaise or not.

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #37, by patronus_charmclipped wings: the meeting.

24th June 2015:
Hey there Sian! Itís been so long since Iíve read anything of yours itís great to be back, and I will be reviewing every challenge but I might just do it in bits if thatís okay. :)

Ooooh I really loved this! ♥ Your writing here was really wonderful! I think the second person POV added so much to the overall story because it meant we got to find out what Hepzibahís most intimate thoughts were which was interesting in terms of learning about her character but then we got to have this outside perspective too, meaning there were these wonderful descriptions of her which were great!

One quick other thing about your writing was that the descriptions were just lovely and so fitting for the era! ♥ I could really tell that you had put a lot of thought into and the speech too and that just makes historical fiction feel so much more real. Another thing I loved too was that it had a poetic feel to it at times too meaning it linked into the other challenge really well too.

I really like that you chose to write about Hepzibah as Iím guessing that sheíll eventually end up being Hepizbah Smith? Itís always great to have these minor characters explored more and I know you do it so well so I canít wait to see what you come up. I also really liked the other links into canon with her maiden name being Macmillan as it will be interesting to learn more about that family and Iím currently wondering if Edmund Prince is in fact related to Eileen Prince.

The ending was intriguing indeed because it makes me wonder whether the Ďso it beginsí suggests the beginning of something between Hepzibah and Edmund or something more indeed. Either way I canít wait to find out!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #38, by patronus_charmBroken Love: Chapter 1

24th June 2015:
Hey Kaitlin, here to review this for my challenge! ♥

Oooh Lily and Lysanderís relationship is definitely very toxic shall we say? Even in this brief snippet of their relationship, we saw so many facets to their relationship from powerful arguments, tearful make-ups, a bit of passion and then the sad end. I think you managed to give us a great excerpt of their relationship as I can really imagine what led them to this.

I really liked Lily in this! I always imagined her to be a person who stood up for her rights and was a bit girl powery and that was really shown in the bit when she was standing up to Lysander and telling him she wasnít his possession as I really was cheering her on there. We saw that side again when she knew in her head that this wasnít the way to be treated and stuck to her guns throughout the story, especially at the end. But then you showed she had a big heart by being able to give Lysander that one final chance and that was sweet.

Lysander was interesting too as Iíve never really seen him like this before but I really enjoyed the twist in his characterisation as heís usually a lot nicer and calmer than this. It really did intrigue me though because I always imagined Luna and Rolf to be kind of hippy dippy parents so it did make me wonder how their parenting could have led to him being like this.

I thought your writing was really powerful throughout as you really imagined to capture all their emotions and feelings perfectly so the angst really permeated throughout the story which was great as that was the purpose of the challenge. :P

Great story! :D

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #39, by patronus_charmNot One Line: Don't You Dare

24th June 2015:
Hey there, here to review this for my challenge!

Oooh this was really great! The second person POV added so much to the overall story as it really kept me guessing throughout and I honestly had no clue who the people were. I think that was actually a really good as I didnít then get distracted by who they were and what their backstory was but the focus was instead on the intensity of their words and the impact they had on one another so the angst could really be explored.

You had some really fantastic lines throughout this story though I think one of my favourites was this - Lives are stories, and ours is coming to an end Ė it just fitted so well with the overall story as this part was just one very sad phase in their lives and it makes you wonder what will come next for both of them.

The way you revealed everything through the gravestone gave me the shivers too! I think it just added even more intensity to the story and made it even sadder knowing that they had a daughter but sadly she died at a very young age and nothing could ever bring her back and that pain they must have both felt just seared through the entire story. Another thing I liked about it was that you didnít reveal who the parents were right away so it did make you guess whether it was Draco and Astoria having a late child or Scorpius and someone else, and that was another great way of drawing out the suspense which I enjoyed a lot.

The ending was so sad :( It felt that everything had come to an end, not only their daughterís life but Scorpius and Rose and it was just sad that they couldnít pull together on this and help one another through it but that it ended up causing them to fall apart. I hope they end up finding some form of happiness later on!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #40, by patronus_charmUnravel. : Pansy.

24th June 2015:
Hey there Erin!

The level of detail you went into in this chapter was really interesting as it almost felt like we got an insight into Pansyís mind from it. She was very meticulous in all her observations and she really developed the backstory of everything which almost made me think she didnít have much going on in her life if she could spend all that time thinking which was kind of sad.

ĎAs soon as we graduate, Mother and Mrs. Malfoy will begin planning our wedding.í Oh poor Pansy, she really is kind of delusional. She really doesnít seem to grasp anything and the way Draco treated her so coldly meant nothing to her as she just carried on pushing and pushing him. I donít really blame him if Iím honest because if I was called Drakey-Poo I wouldnít be too happy. :P

The repetition really tied in well with the bathroom scene because it was kind of like a mantra throughout but at first I just thought it was just some delusional thought she had but it wasnít until she went to the bathroom did I realise the true power of her words. Even then she didnít seem kind of aware of what she was doing to herself if that makes sense? It felt almost like she was just living by the mantra and not realising at all that she was causing great harm to herself.

The end was sad. I really hope she takes advice from her dad and realises what sheís doing to herself but it seems as if her mother has loads of power over her so Iím not getting my hopes up.

Great story!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #41, by patronus_charmThe Last Goodbye: Farewell

18th June 2015:
Hi there! Here to review this for my challenge and wow your banner is pretty! ♥

I just have to say quickly I read this whilst listening to the Last Goodbye and I agree, it is a truly beautiful song and really added to this story! Plus, I thought the lyrics were fitted in really nicely and gave the story a nice touch.

Anyhow, on with the story, I really liked the first section with Harry walking reflectively around the grounds of Hogwarts as it was just so powerful and you managed to emphasise both his thoughts and the landscape equally which was really great. You never really think about the emotionally and psychological impact it had on Harry as you just imagine him to be happy after it ended so I liked how you looked into in more depth.

All of the memories of the others were so sweet ♥ There were a few which stood out to me and one of those was Fredís in how he called him a brother in all but blood which was just so true and so powerful, it made me want to tear up a little. Then with Remus too and how Harry thought of him as a father. It was just so sad Remus had to go like that as I think he and Tonks would have adopted him into their family if they had stayed alive.

With James and Lily my heart broke a little :( Just poor, poor Harry thinking he caused all of them to die when really they chose to and were proud to die for him and were never forced to. I think he was right at the end in that he never will be able to say goodbye because I think that sort of guilt will stay with him forever, but hopefully it will fade away a little with the help of Ginny.

Great story!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #42, by patronus_charmIce.: Ice.

18th June 2015:
Hey Branwen! Here to finally review this! :)

Ooh I really enjoyed this! Lavender post-war stories are always something which interests me as you can really explore her recovery in so many ways, and this was another really original take on it. Lavender seemed so conflicted almost with how she had all these ups and downs and the longing to recover but it seemed so impossible too. I guess what Iím really trying to say is that you really got into her emotional mind-set so it was really fascinating to read.

Your writing style in this story really added to the overall feelings of conflict. The use of brackets really created another element to the story and it almost felt that we got to see the real Lavender then, and that was helped a lot by the use of italics as just those little things really add more depth to the character and just make them that much more complex. Also, the second person POV was written really well here!

I think one of my favourite sections was when she was discussing her friend (Iím guessing Parvati) and her husband (again, I guess another one from Hogwarts, probably Dean or Seamus) as it was just a really interesting thing to read. I think the fact you didnít mention names really added to it as it created this sense of ambiguity and highlighted how Lavender was detached from the world. Furthermore, the whole idea of territory/possession in regards to the friend was a really interesting one and I enjoyed it a lot.

The ending seemed so bitter almost, you just wanted to reach out to Lavender and make her feel better again! Overall, I thought this was a really excellent entry and a great analysis of Lavenderís character. :)

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #43, by patronus_charmBrother's Blood: Tale of a fool: Brother's Blood

18th June 2015:
Hey there, here to review your second entry! I was excited to see that you were using a banner I made too, but donít forget to add in the credit in the story info ;)

I really enjoyed this again! It definitely wouldnít have thought of writing about this from the banner as I thought of a more next-gen vampire horror story, but I really loved your take on this and how you tied it into the story as that worked really well. Speaking of that, I really liked your language here as it was used really well with all the wonderful imagery and metaphors so well done for that!

Dumbledoreís characterisation was really interesting here. I think the second person POV really helped as it allowed a more reflective angle to be taken where he was much more self-critical meaning we got to read some really interesting thoughts and reflections. I liked how he was almost dogged by this guilt throughout the story as it really makes you realise what a complex character Dumbledore really is.

Another thing I liked was how you compared Gellert and Tom Riddle. I have seen them compared before but thatís usually in the sense of both of them being really evil and not Dumbledore being wracked by guilt, so I thought that was a really interesting element. I did quite like the twist of Dumbledore killing Gellert as usually Iím a canon fan, but you really described it well and highlighted what a deep bond they had had before and how hard this must have been for Dumbledore to do. Again, a lot of what ifs were asked about if Dumbledore had killed Tom Riddle as I really liked that element.

Another great story! :)

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #44, by patronus_charmThrough the Veil: Beyond the Veil

18th June 2015:
Hey there, here to finally review this for my challenge! :)

I really enjoyed this! I thought Siriusí characterisation was really great as you really got his emotions and thoughts spot on with the way he just couldnít accept what had happened to him and he was just trying to reject it and reject it even though he knew he had died. I think the first few sections were really moving as he was just so lost and just floating around almost, you just wanted to anchor him so he felt more secure.

Another thing which was really moving was seeing how much Remus and Harry meant to Sirius. They really were his adopted family almost as he no longer had James or Regulus so the fact he didnít even get to say goodbye to them really crushed him and it was just so sad. It did make me ask a lot of what ifs about if he survived the battle and I imagine the three of them would have been a very sweet little family almost.

James was so wise! It was so strange but I guess being dead for that period of time does give you a lot of time to reflect about the meaning of life and make you more at peace with the world. I did like the afterlife aspect of the story as all of them, James, Lily, Regulus and Sirius all died too young so it was nice to see they got a second chance of life. Another thing I really loved was how James and Lily took Regulus in so we could have a good life in his second one and be with people who would love and care for him and that was very moving and sweet.

Great story and thanks for entering the challenge!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #45, by patronus_charmRaised Like a Pig for Slaughter : Raised Like a Pig for Slaughter

17th June 2015:
Hi there! Finally here to review this for the challenge! :D

Wowowow, this was really fantastic and a great insight into Snapeís mind, it almost felt as if it was a psychological study of him as you really examined all the facets of his character so we could really get to grips with him. I really loved the way you went into detail about his family background as I always find it so fascinating and you really made it as dark and as horrible as one would imagine. I thought you really did it so well, you should consider exploring it further as itís something I will most definitely be interested in.

There almost seemed to be a sense of lightness when Lily appeared which really does say something about your writing as Iím usually not the biggest Lily fan around. I really liked the use of italics in reference with Lily as it just showed how she had that special something to her and how she was this escape for Snape. It was almost quite sweet to see Snape realise that she was magical too and that they could grow off one another as it left me asking a lot of what ifs in regards to both of them.

One moment which really stood out for was when Snape went to Diagon Alley with Lilyís family as he almost felt normal then and not this lost little boy. You could just sense how loving her family were in the way in which they welcomed him and made him feel cared for. The scene at Ollivanders was especially touching in how they all cheered Snape on and he felt happy for once.

This line - As the years went by your relationship with Lily began to wither Ė was very apt I found, I think the word wither just described everything perfectly.

I really liked how you developed the Half Blood Prince plot almost, as Iíve somewhat surprisingly never seen that done before but it was very effective. The way you described the change in Snape and what led him to the need to create the potions was great too as you could really sense he was pouring his soul into them.

ĎYou were the King, black of course. While she was the Queen representing the white side.í This was excellent too and really wonderful imagery! ♥

The closing line was really powerful and had so much impact! I really loved it as you could just sense the wham of emotions and how much Snapeís life revolved around Lily. I really loved this which was very surprising as Lily and Snape are among my least favourite characters so this really is an impressive feat!

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #46, by patronus_charmRose Tinted Glass: Paper World

11th June 2015:
Hey!

Wow Ė just quickly but your banner is so pretty! ♥

Omg, I actually loved this story it was so cute and adorable and wonderful and yes it was lovely! ♥ I really loved the constant theme of art throughout as Iíve found itís always made people more out there with their descriptions as the arty world just makes everything more beautiful and wonderful and that was certainly the case here.

Rose was so adorably awkward with the lack of self-confidence she had in how she almost thought she was boring next to Scorpius. I think thatís the wonderful thing about art as it opens you up to new perspectives and ways of life and you could definitely see that in her because at the end she realised she was beautiful and the world was and it was all so happy and cute.

I really loved Scorpius as a painter! Iíve never seen that one before but I may adopt it as my headcanon as it went surprisingly well. You really got the mannerisms of the artist too with the way he called her his muse and his seemingly distant yet present character if that makes sense? Another thing I loved was the way you described the paintings as they were so real and I could really envisage them so that was great.

A wonderful story! :D

Kiana
House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! (yay Ravenclaw!)

There's another House Cup event?? I'm so behind on House Cup stuff...

Anyway, thank you so much for stopping by my story!! And I will pass your banner compliments onto the artist! I'm useless with graphics, so TDA is my best friend.

I'm studying art at uni, so I had to incorporate it into my writing somehow. I'm just waiting for an opportunity to write about some wild art history adventure (is that an oxymoron? I don't think it is...)

For this story, I focused on artist and muse relationship. I think it's such a pure one, so I had to write it. Rose is a little self-conscious, especially when someone's drawing her (which I think it quite common)

Scorpius as a painter is my headcanon, so hurray for you liking it too!! Definitely read 'Starving Artists' by Peppersweet if you're going to get into this headcanon though! It's peak Scorpius artist :)

Thanks for the review!!

-Stefi


 Report Review

Review #47, by patronus_charmto the end of time: New Friends

11th June 2015:
Hey!

Iíve wanted to read this for a while so Iím glad Iíve got the chance now! I really liked how you started this with Padma and Parvati together as I rarely ever see anything written about the two of them so it was nice to be able to compare and contrast their characters. I really liked how you made the difference clear between them with Parvati excited by everything and wanting to take it all in, whereas Padma was much more sedate and even daring to tell her sister off Ė I mean who does that on the first day at Hogwarts?

It was strange to see how Parvati turned to see her older sister for coming about being in the same house as I didnít expect it to be like that, but rather the other way round but Iím really liking your portrayal of the sisters so far so whoo for that!

Aw Lavender! ♥ She was adorable and I can see right away why they clicked. She just sensed that Parvati wasnít at ease, missed her sister, like she had innate sense with what was wrong, and she tried to make her feel better and Iím not sure how many people would do that. Iím already loving the two of them and I canít wait to read more! ♥

Kiana
House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

 Report Review

Review #48, by patronus_charmYellow Light: yellow light

11th June 2015:
Hey Olivia, I had to read this story with the banner and Iím so glad I did!

Omg, wah, I donít know why but Hogwarts era femme slash always breaks my heart and this story didnít break that pattern. Susanís love for Parvati was so sincere and so lovely and just the way she admired her in Herbology with the yellow light Ė it was just so poetic and tied in with the banner so well. Just the overall description was so beautiful and wonderful and had this sense of prose to it, I want to quote it but then I would end up quoting the entire story. :P

When Susan asked Parvati who she was going to the Yule Ball with I think my heart may have died. She had just built up her hopes so much and even though they werenít crushed in a mean way, it still made me all feelsy and wanting to hug Susan and tell her it was all okay. Okay, slightly off topic, but I did like the almost biographical feel to it in the way Susan recounted events over a short period of time as that was really effective and didnít feel rushed at all and actually made me feel as if I knew them better.

"That's my girl." Ė dies!!!

One thing I loved was how you managed to change from the light-hearted and hopefully air of blossoming romance to the dark and sombre one of the Death Eaters taking over the world really well and smoothly. Those are incredibly hard moods to switch from but you did it with ease so well done! :D

The ending was so beautiful! ♥ Again, so poetic and it had this lovely calm air to it too with everything being okay and happy again and I really loved it. This was a wonderful story, and as soon as this reviewing challenge is over expect to see some SOTM nominations ;)

Kiana

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

 Report Review

Review #49, by patronus_charmLife-Changing Moments: Chapter 1.

11th June 2015:
Hey there!

Ooh, I really love these challenge entries and I thought you wrote this really well! I definitely did not think it was Ginny from the first sentence, but I liked how we learnt it was her from deduction as you gradually listed more and more characters and we learnt more and more about Ginny herself as that was a really clever way to do it.

I thought you wrote this scene in a really original way, as Ginnyís perspective added something fresh to it. I think it was because whilst she was fighting, she wasnít as powerful as her mother for example, and whilst she was there, she was kind of passive too as she was so in shock about Harry that it gave you more time to think about the overall battle which I really liked.

Another thing which I thought was great was her underlying love for Harry. It was just this soft, gentle kind of love, as she willed him on and on, almost as if she knew deep down what he was doing which goes to show how they were meant to be. Haha, I have to give you massive kudos for the last line because the way you transitioned from that serious and sombre tone to that light-hearted one was very impressive as it just went so well together and it was nice to end on a laugh.

Great story!

Kiana

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

Thanks so much for your review :3 I really like it and I love the fact that you enjoyed the story - and more especially the last line. It really means a lot to me, so thanks for leaving such a review!

Thanks so much!


 Report Review

Review #50, by patronus_charmCuriosity Is Not a Sin: A Package From Fred

11th June 2015:
Hey there Branwen!

Bahaha, I have to say that Iím glad this Weasley generation has taken after Fred and George because with all this plotting and getting revenge it makes it much more exciting. Rose really is a great combination of Hermione and Ron as she uses Ronís ability to break the rules with Hermioneís intellect to just have so much fun. I think the letter from Fred really highlighted her character with the way he chose to send the stuff to her. I do have a sneaky feeling thereís more to the shield charm than meets the eye though.

Ooh I loved Lucy and I hope we see more of her! She was just so like Percy though in a more funny than annoying way I should say, because she at least had enough of a rebel streak to come over and see what was in the package as I canít imagine him doing that. Hmm, Lily definitely doesnít lack any of that rebel streak and it will be interesting to see what else she gets up to in the story!

Ooh that last bit with Scorpius ♥ That was great, as just those small moments between them really make the chapter and wah I just want them to get together now.

(sorry for the rambling/confusing review though)

Kiana

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>