Reading Reviews From Member: patronus_charm
  
1,415 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charmKnight Takes Queen: King

20th December 2014:
Hey again Laura and wow that was a powerful chapter!

I really liked how Rowena had such an affinity with ravens that they were always around her, especially so in moments of pain as it must have been quite comforting to know that she would never be alone no matter where she went.

Even though this was the only chapter when we got to see Helga and Rowena together I really liked as we really got a powerful sense of what their relationship was like and how close they were. It was nice to see that Rowena could actually open up to her as well and reveal all her thoughts and feelings as I imagine she can't do it to everyone so that made their bond even cuter.

You left so me wondering so many things in this chapter I really wish this story could have been developed further so I could have found out extra things such as what caused Rowena to be ill, and what were all her regrets, and what was the reason in this chase which caused Salazar to leave them. There just seemed to be so much mystery and so many regrets in this chapter I wanted moar!

The ending with the way Rowena made her wishes clear seemed to be so like her, so regal and formal and I loved it despite all the sadness! She was so measured and composed so I think you really captured her character well with that, and it was so sad to see such a magnificent (I never use this word but it seems to be so fitting for her!) person die like that.

Great story Laura and Merry Christmas! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #2, by patronus_charmKnight Takes Queen: Bishop

20th December 2014:
Happy Christmas Laura! :D

I loved all the historical little bits in this chapter such as the mentions about the Scots being at war against the English and her thoughts and feelings. It just added so much to the story and that's why Founders stories are always among some of my favourites.

I really like Rowena's character here as she's still quite young so she's not entirely sure of herself so it's quite an interesting perspective as usually she's so determined and in control. We definitely saw a moment of weakness here with the way she thought she was cursed and that thought was fixated in her mind and stayed with her until the end of the chapter so it was interesting to see her in a low point for a long period of time. I'm not sure if that makes much sense but I really loved it!

The ending was so cool! Not only, did Rowena finally realise she was kind of awesome and that being a witch was cool too, but we got to see the raven and eagle and find out how it connected into her life which was cool.

I really liked this chapter and I can't wait for more :D

-Kiana

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Review #3, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #6

13th December 2014:
Whoo, I am finally here :D

I really loved the beginning of the chapter as you just set the scene so well for the story with all the little extras included which made it so much more fun to read. Old Aggie does sound like a character and the way you described the cafť was really great too, so I hope we get to see more of them too. Iím so glad that you provided an explanation for why technology was in the story because so many people include it without saying why itís there which is just confusing but yay for not doing that!

Ah ah ah ah! Roxanne bumped into Daniel! That was so awkward, because I didnít know what to do and I was just the reader so I canít imagine what it must have been like for her. I almost thought Daniel was going to turn her down and say no to meeting up with her but Iím glad that he didnít. Iím still confused by his character and what he really wants and what heís like. I guess itís still early days and Iím naturally to dislike him, but ah I just want to figure him out!

Itís nice to see that they could get over their differences enough to talk about the case and for Daniel to give her some inside info, as it was so much fun to see how the case was progressing and what was going to happen next in it. I wonder what Daniel was thinking and wouldnít revealÖ hmm I just canít think of any theories myself as I still canít figure out Daniel and whether heís lying or not and wah, Iím just confused but I guess thatís natural as this is a mystery so weíll have to wait and see. :P

Erm, woah, I wasnít expecting them to have it out as it just seemed so normal and just normal I guess, but then bam they were arguing. Iím glad that Roxy finally did manage to put the record straight so letís just hope Daniel realises that nothing actually happened.

Wah wah wah, you canít leave me on a cliff-hanger like that, Sian, itís not fair! Please update soon, like pretty please! ♥ Great chapter :D

-Kiana

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Review #4, by patronus_charm(the trick is to) keep breathing: deep breaths

6th December 2014:
Wah wah wah why are you trying to break my heart? Why? Why? Why?

The first few sections were so horrible because there was all this frantic rush and energy, I guess almost excitement too, about going to battle and I just kept on thinking, don't go, don't go, but of course they did. You wrote that so well as it feels as if Andromeda almost knows what's about to happen but she can't let it out as Teddy's anchoring her down, and it's so horrible and I have no words.

Gah, then Tonks' death. That was so horrible and mixed, I think it was even worse because everyone else was celebrating and then Andromeda just like wait what, and then the realisation is horrible. I can't believe you went for the double whammy though as she got her hopes up quickly that she and Remus could raise Teddy together (which would have been super cute) and then bam he's dead. Why Emily why? That was just cruel. *sobs to self*

One thing I loved was the second person POV and all the little sections as it really showed how fragmented her life and it was getting more and more fragmented too, so that worked really well together.

Teddy was so adorable though! ♥ Especially in that last section where there's almost some humour with the fact he's fallen asleep again so he's like her hope, her light and anchor all in one if that makes sense and it's just so cute yet I want to cry, and I'm too emotionally confused which happens a lot when Ronks feature in a story so I will end the review here, but I loved this! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #5, by patronus_charma slow shattering: he wants to put a ceiling on her soul

6th December 2014:
Hey Emily!

Wah wah wah I just love your writing style in this story so much and it just shows how much youíve grown as an author and itís so perfect and lovely and I love it. All the little sections, the detached narration style, internal reflections and the use of brackets create this sense of loss and confusion which really highlights how awful Lavender must be feeling and itís just done so well, that I could read this all day as itís so interesting and can be read in so many ways, and there needs to be a new chapter asap okay?

I just wanted to hug Lavender and never let her go whilst reading this chapter as her emotions were spot on and you couldnít help but feel sorry for her. She really felt human here and even though they all thought she was crazy and gave a few crazy tendencies it sort of felt normal at the same time but thatís expected as her parents are dead, Parvatiís dead, Lavender couldnít go to their funerals and sheís locked up in a hospital. In a way, I have a feeling thereís still some hope for her and the way that idea is just lingering away there is a really nice feature of the story.

One section which really stood out to me was a really tiny one about Lavender and Parvati and how at first there was Lavender and there was Parvati and then they came together. It was just so sweet and touching to see what good friends they were though I have a feeling thereís more lurking away there, and their friendship will be explored a little more later on.

Mrs Reid and the doctor are both really interesting characters. Mrs Reid because of the way sheís so aware of things like colours and whiteness but I guess that comes with her job as Iím guessing sheís some sort of wizarding therapist? Anyhow, it was nice to see Lavender open up a little more when talking to her so letís hope this is the start of her recovery. As for the doctor, Iím not sure whether Lavenderís natural sceptical of authority given that it was the authority who locked her up, or whether sheís right to think like that. I guess weíll just have to see.

A fantabulous chapter, Emily, and I canít wait for me! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #6, by patronus_charmMonster: Monster

5th December 2014:
Hey Aditi, finally here for the review exchange and apologies for my lateness!

Ah ah ah ah. I don't know what to think other than that I never expected that the story would turn out like this. It started off as such as sweet story with the way Hermione was comforting Rose and making sure nothing bad would happen and bam with that ending. I suppose I should have known something sinister was going to happen with the sort of foreshadowing tone in the first section, but still I never guessed that.

Anyhow. I should stop rambling and say something more constructive.

I really loved the use of second person POV as it added another creepy level to the story by separating the reader from Rose a little more and I thought that worked really well. As well as that, another thing I loved was all the little sections as we really got a sense of Rose over the ages so when it happened it just seemed even worse as I really knew her by the end of it.

I really liked how you developed Rose's character and made her more and more aware of all the dangers in the world and what could be lurking away there as it was a really effective technique. It's just a shame that because she got more aware she was almost drawn into it more so she ended up getting attacked. I really liked that scene as I thought you wrote it really well in terms of emotions and descriptions and you could just sense her helplessness.

The ending was so strange (in a good way mind!) because even though she had feared monsters all this time, she ended up being one and ended up being proud of that fact on top of it all so it was interesting to see the contrast there. It sort of felt like the lost of childhood because she had been living by the idea that monsters weren't real all this time as her mum said that, but she discovered the truth and sort of punished her mum for lying to her by making her a monster too. So that twist was really cool albeit a little creepy too. :P

Great story, Aditi!

-Kiana

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Review #7, by patronus_charmIcarus: Cultivated Arts

25th November 2014:
*ninja slides in* I am so sorry for taking aeons with this Kristin, my only sort of valid excuse is that memory has been like that of a goldfish's lately so I hope you forgive me! :P

I loved the Weasley family as they all had such exuberant personalities! First of all, I must admit I am bit creeped out/scared by Harry and how he knows all these random facts about people. I can just imagine him being this all seeing, all knowing person while he sits in his office stroking a white cat. :P Albus and James made me crack up and I thought you wrote them really well together as it was so natural and funny. Aw, Albus is adorable learning Chinese just for a girl though and I do hope we get to see more of those two as they really did make me smile.

Yay for world making! I loved Steve's it sounded so interesting and like a lot of drama had happened there before so I hope it features again. Ooh ooh ooh tension with Lily seeing her ex-girlfriend, I hope we get to see more of her as that will mean drama which will mean excitement and yeah you get the gist :P I have to say, Marta really warmed to me in this chapter even though she did kind of steal something from the Ministry she had this really cool and vibrant character which just draws people into her and you want to know more. I have a feeling the thing she took is going to be very, very dangerous and probably top-secret too so it will be interesting to see how the story develops from here.

You write humour so well because that scene with Marta and Lily changing names and being generally awkward around Conor had me cracking up throughout and I really would want to spend a day with them as I can imagine it would be fun.

Great chapter! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Nothing to forgive, my friend! :D (I took aeons with the response so we are even :p)

I had so much fun writing the Potter-Weasley family! And omg hahaha, it is kind of creepy when you think about it! I figured Harry would see a lot of reports about minor law enforcement issues as an Auror, and given that Marta was under his care for a while AND has something of a record, he'd have an eye out for that :p Now I'm wishing I'd added a scene in the office with a white cat and an evil grin. :D I'm glad you liked Albus and James! I kind of envisioned them as very similar to how they were in the HP epilogue, only slightly more grown-up :p

Haha, I'm glad you liked reading about Steve's - the place will actually make a reappearance later. As for Anna... only time will tell hehehe. So glad you like Marta! As I was developing her character I wondered what people would think of her because she has far more faults than good qualities and is largely devoid of morals, but she's a lot of fun to write as a character. I'm so glad you like reading about her! :D

Ha, thanks! I think it'd be so fun to spend a day with them too! Though they'd be miles ahead of me as I'm terrible at lying and they're basically professionals.

Thanks so much for your review, Kiana! ♥


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Review #8, by patronus_charmfall.: fall.

23rd November 2014:
Hey Carla, thanks for the swap and I have to say quickly that your graphic skills are amazing as always as that banner! ♥

I really thought you did the challenge justice with the way you started each section with fall and really emphasised the key features of the season as we really got to live it and imagine it and it meant that used nature really well so there was tons of beautiful description going on in the story.

Another thing I loved was the sort of impersonal feel to the story. The way you didnít really identify who the people were or what their backstory was until later was really great as it meant we could grow to love their relationship just for the emotions and thoughts expressed and with nothing else getting in the way. That sounds a little confusing but trust me I loved it! The limited use of dialogue was another structural effect which worked really well with this idea as those two conveyed so much just in their actions it really wasnít needed.

Rose was such a noble person I really admire her, because even though Teddy broke up with Victoire to be with her, she knew that those two really belonged together and not her and Teddy which made me sad as I actually prefer those two together. You really wrote her pain and internal conflict really well and by the final section I was close to blubbering. It was strange how she was almost happier when she was loving Teddy from afar than when they were actually together so I think for that reason it definitely did fall into the drama genre.

One final thing is that I loved how you not only used the title to link into the setting s and descriptions but the idea of Rose and Teddy falling for one another and like falling they couldnít really control it, and that element of the story was really interesting.

This was such a great one-shot, Carla! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #9, by patronus_charmCliffhanger: Cliffhanger

23rd November 2014:
Hey, here for the review swap and I had to read this as I love Every Word Counts Challenge entries!

I donít even know where to begin. This was just so wow worthy and really did make you think about the impact of death I had to sit there for a few moments after reading it before I could even think about what to do next. I thought the first sentence was really excellent as it was just so sudden and a shock you could almost imagine how the others felt when they found out about Georgeís death. The next sentence just emphasised that sudden shocking feeling of death with the way it described noose and it helped keep up this surreal and mysterious air throughout the entire story.

I honestly had no clue who it could have been as there were so many victims of the war on both sides that it could have been anyone really, but I never would have suspected it was George. I think my heart may have died a little when I read it was him. The narratorís interpretation of why he did it was really interesting, because it did highlight the very close bond the two of them had with one another and that George was always an independent spirit but I still wanted to cheer him on and make him believe he could live on without Fred.

The narration was really perfect as it did have the sense of intimacy one would expect as I am assuming that this is one of the Weasley boys, but then it had this weird exterior vision about it too like it wasnít fully part of the story. Iím not really sure who it could be. At first I thought it was Ron, but now Iím not sure because of that feeling of detachment. Either way, I really enjoyed the narration.

I really loved this and the darker take it took on post-Hogwarts life as itís important to explore it, so thank you for the great read! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for the swap! As you know i didn't have a lot of words to play for so I decided I may as well get straight to the point. I'm pleased that it made you think!

That was the sort of thing that I was going for, there could have been so many victims after the war because of the devastation it caused.

I wrote it as Ron but it could have been any of them which is a sobering thought. I was trying to emulate the feeling of hopelessness throughout with the detached feeling.

Thanks for the review!

Fin


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Review #10, by patronus_charmthe earth and the sky: the earth and the sky

23rd November 2014:
Hey, hey, Adi, thank you for doing this swap and just for your info this is a rolling review so whoo you can see my reaction right away because isnít that fun :P

Section one! Ooh ooh ooh. I love your writing style in this itís so simple and pretty and Iím just in love. You really managed to convey so much by just doing simple little things (Okay this is making no sense but itís really pretty, ok?) and I loved it. The use of italics was really good as it just created another level to the story and I am also a fan of the little sections as we could see lots of little snippets of Drastoria which I love ♥

Also this line Ė ĎShe is the sky and he is the Earth, and together, they rebuild broken pieces of each other.í ♥

Ooh wait, I just skim read section one again and I realised that you didnít specifically mention any names and Iím just assuming itís Drastoria because of the summary. Maybe thereís going to be a plot twist and itís not actually them? Anyhow, I really loved how you wrote the two people together as they just went together so well and seeing this first evolution of their relationship was really great. The initial love, meeting, talking, then the reluctance finally the conceding at the end. This was only the first section but so much happened and I loved it.

Section two Ė ooh a found an example of what I was trying to say earlier Ė ĎThe sky is overcast and grey. How symbolic.í Itís just so simple but conveys so much and I love it! I really liked how you used the dictionary format to describe marriage as it just broke up the standard rhythm of a story and made it much more interesting to read, and again the italics were fabulous!

Draco in love is adorable and I want him to be like that forever and you wrote it really well and did I mention it was adorable? He seemed to have this deep, deep, love for Astoria so every stage in their relationship was felt not only by his heart but his whole body if that makes any sort of sense and it just fitted with my head canon of those two cuties. But no, no, no, Adi, just no. Why crush me like that? Why? This line just says all their pain really Ė ĎIn the Malfoy household, they don't say the M word for a while, and no, it isn't Mudblood.í

Wow, I really loved how you fitted the London bombings into the story as I so rarely see it appear in stories which is quite strange when you think about it but it was done so well here. Just the emotions, and the pure fear Astoria had when she realised why Draco was was so moving and really struck me as a reader. Their life seemed to take on this surreal feel after it though, like it was all a blur, from his recovery to the baby as if the aftershock of the bomb was still going on in their lives and I thought that was written really well.

I loved how you wrote about Astoria and Dracoís relationship over the passing years as Blaise was really right about them still being love like they were 20 as it felt as if everything was still so new and fresh with them.

Whaaat? No, Adi, stop crushing me this isnít fair. Waahahah. Just why? I really loved how you described her gradually sinking into the illness (okay, that doesnít make much sense but yeah :P) as it was written really beautifully with the general degrading of the body, but her love for Draco still being there and the flashbacks. It was just written really well.

Dracoís recoveryÖ. You could just feel his pain and his sorrow and anguish and everything and you just wanted to hug him. You still gave glimmers of hope with Rose and Scorpius (and the mention of them I really did love) and his thoughts about Daphne made me crack up way too much but at least it sort of showed Draco was still human somewhere in there.

The ending was just lovely! ♥ Their love had just matured over time so they gave out this sense of ease and calm and I was almost envious of them about how well they fitted together. Despite that, you could almost sense everything they had been through too, which just showed how life is never perfect.

This was such a beautiful story, Adi, and really did make me think! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #11, by patronus_charmWorship You: Storm

19th November 2014:
Ah, Sian, you have so many new one-shots that I need to get through but I couldn't resist an Every Word Counts challenge entry as well as one containing no E's so I had to read this :D

First of all the language is so pretty! ♥ I thought it really tied in with the idea of storms and the weather so well, and it was carried on throughout the one-shot. One thing I really liked and will probably be terrible at explaining why I liked it is that even though there was a sense of a storm going on throughout the story with the description, action and range of emotions, the celestial aspect of the story with the references to space and stars gave this story a sort of hold and grip to reality which I really liked and anchored the story really nicely. That probably made no sense, but hopefully you'll get something from it.

Okay, now for the narrator! I really loved the ambiguity surrounding them and I actually had to read this a few times so I could be certain about who it was and even then I'm not sure. I really didn't mind though as the ambiguity was just so much fun. Anyhow... My theory is that this is Rodolphus. I don't think it's Bella as it's talking about seeing someone fall as they're fighting with Molly which means it obviously could be Bella. Plus the way you described the dark and twisted relationship meant that the you had to Bella as it just all made sense that way. But the narrator did seem to somehow love her and have a spot for her, plus they seemed kinda jealous about her love for old Voldy too hence why I think it's Rodolphus. If I'm not right, please tell me who it is! :P

Anyhow, enough with guessing who the narrator is, and more about the narrator itself. I really loved how you got into their mind and wrote their actions and thoughts as it really seemed as if you knew them well and got them spot on. The way the narrator was following the you and mapping their life around them was so interesting and meant the relationship's dynamic was a really intriguing one to follow.

Then the fact this was in 500 words was amazing as you really got to grips with their relationship and in so few words too! I'm so sorry for this rambling review which probably contains a ton of typos, but I loved this! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! ♥ Haha it's so sweet of you to want to come and read them, and it was great to hear what you thought of this because it was such a challenge to write!

Wow, I'm so glad that you liked the language! It was really hard to find words that a)made sense and b)sounded nice when I was writing this without the letter 'E', so it's really good that it seems to have worked out and not detracted from the way that the story reads. I'm really pleased you liked the imagery too, the storms and the stars - I know what you mean, I think! :D

I think I enjoy writing ambiguous narrators a little too much, and then leaving the reader to guess who I'm writing about :P Bella was the love object in this story, but I picture the narrator as Aurora Sinistra (the Astronomy professor), with an unrequited love for Bella that began when they were at school together. She was jealous of her love for everybody that wasn't her! (This turned out kind of strange, it was my first sort-of slash story too and with the weird narration and everything I'm kind of pleased it just made some sense :P)

I'm really glad you liked the narrator as well! It was surprisingly easy to get to grips with their mind, but I think that might be because I spent a lot longer writing this than I normally would writing 500 words, and thinking about everything I wrote much more. The relationship intrigued me when I imagined it and even though it seems a bit random I did quite like it, in the end!

Thank you so much for this incredible review, Kiana - it means so much to me that you liked it!


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Review #12, by patronus_charmTrue Romance: Don't You Want Me

11th November 2014:
Whooo I have a lot of chapters to catch up on so here I am attempting to do that! &hearts

Oooh so Scorpius and Albus had a heart to heart without it actually getting awkward? Now, that is impressive and maybe these two can be actual friends with no awkward romantic feelings cropping up as that would be nice and if that did happen I would be really happy. As for Scorpius moving to Paris with Corbin, even though I strongly dislike Corbin and would most probably use M rated words to describe him if I could, I think it's for the best because then Albus and Scorpius can have the space they need to become friends.

Aw, Cora, aw, aw, aw, Albus does not need to worry about splitting up with Brandon and making it awkward as they're already such an adorable family I'm sure it will never happen. They just seem to be merging really well together with the way Albus is starting to be really open about his feelings towards Cora. Then that heart to heart! ♥ That was just perfect as now everything's out and they're sort of okay with it all and they confessed their love for one another they can ride off into the sunset, right, Rose? :D

So Archibald and Lily, huh? I feel as if I'm being slightly prejudiced towards them purely because Archibald is an old man's name but hey ho, I still feel as if there's something fishy going on with the two of them like he's secretly a former Death Eater or something but we shall have to see.

Anyhow, a fab chapter! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #13, by patronus_charmA Tale of Star-Crossed Lovers: In Which the Rest of the Story Is Revealed

11th November 2014:
Haaai Kristin! ♥

ohmygodohmygodohmygod = me after reading this because wah I just love your mind and want to live it in forever as it's just so fabulous.

Anyhow, I should probably write something more constructive than that so here I go! :P

Wah, wah, wah, Eloise Midgen as a socialite. That has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever read and I love how she's so rich and important here because I bet if that was actually true she would have had a lot more friends at Hogwarts. I loved how you described her entire backstory though as it was so funny and interesting, especially the bit where she was going to a ball for everyone less than Harry Potter, that tiny bit just cracked me up for no reason. :P

So Ron and Eloise then? I never did see that pairing coming but I thoroughly enjoyed it nonetheless. Poor Ron, still pining away over Hermione that he had to resort to getting a fake girlfriend but at least the true love lightening bolt struck this pair otherwise it would have been a little awkward. But wah they live in Bavaria that's so cool and there's sauerkraut which makes it even cooler and then there was some time travel too which just made the cool levels hit the roof.

Whaaat? Whaat? Whaaat? Genghis Khan? Whaaat? Is all I can to that, but whoo I loved it because who doesn't love Mongolian conquerors popping in FF with a yurt business, right? :P I loved him as a character though as he just cracked me up so much and whoo for him saving Ron. It does sound like quite a cool service he is offering and I almost wish it was real as that could be really useful.

A fab story and whoo for Eloise and Ron getting a happy ending as everyone needs some love! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hahahaha omg, living in my mind. It's a weird place I tell you - full of useless facts and cat videos, and sometimes stories that don't make sense. :P

Haha, so glad you enjoyed Eloise as a socialite! I feel like after her rather difficult teenage years with people teasing her, it was only fair that she turned out to be fabulous. XD

Ron and Eloise yep - this is the true background story of the great pirate ship Eloiseley that was the Dramione's rival in the first chapter haha. Indeed, all the true love in this story is instant. I mean, because it's realistic and that's the way real life works, right? :P Time travel and sauerkraut - who needs anything more?

Hahaha, I'm glad you appreciated the odd addition of Genghis Khan - he was the unnamed yurt builder I kept alluding to in the previous chapter, and so many people asked for the full story that I felt it needed to be told. I think he would have been much more fondly remembered in history for rescuing people with flying yurts rather than taking over Mongolia, but alas.

Thanks for your awesome review, Kiana ♥


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Review #14, by patronus_charmIn Operibus Suis: Rowena Ravenclaw

10th November 2014:
Whoo hey Sarah and congrats on being the first entry, it's so exciting :D

Ooh ooh I loved the opening paragraph and how she was reflecting on all the other houses, because though this is obviously a very Ravenclaw-centric story it was nice see to how the other houses played a role too and how they all fitted together to make the best out of Hogwarts.

The subtle appearance of an eagle was great too, and I'm so glad it was there as it's one of the most beautiful aspects of Ravenclaw as the bird just symbolises all things Ravenclaw in my opinion so yay for that. Plus, it's a great way of rooting out true Claws as our animal is the eagle of course and not the raven as many think.

I really loved Rowena's character as she seemed so measured and composed and so her that it was great. I think the part which really did make me all feelsy and emotional was the ending section and how Rowena's pride just shone through her. She really did seem to love her house and all that it stood for and I'm so glad that you chose this to be her proudest moment. ♥

One final thing I have to say is that even though I described her as measured and composed you allowed glints of her character to come through when she was talking to Helga and how Salazar had made her all flustered. We can still see this young and fresh woman here and it was so nice to see her like that as it made her much more human which is something quite hard to do with a character like that so kudos to you.

A great start to the collab :D ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana! I personally would go for terrifying, but exciting works too!

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked the way I added in the other houses, I wanted it to feel really unified because I think that's a major trait of Hogwarts - unity - and something the founders themselves would probably take pride in. I had a hard time choosing my solitary detail to include, and the Eagle just seemed to fall into place, especially as it's the house animal. I'm so glad that you liked my characterization and the chapter as a whole and I really appreciate this lovely review, thanks so much, love!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #15, by patronus_charmFit: Rendezvous

10th November 2014:
Hey Carla, I couldn't not tag you in the review battle because I have a feeling I've never actually read anything by you so here I am :D

I really loved the first few paragraphs as you built up the mystery surrounding the meeting and the two of them really well. The use of pronouns in place of names here and throughout the story in fact was really great because it meant the story had such resonance as it really could be any two people in a forbidden relationship and I really liked that. Also, the way there was a letter involved and that was used to arrange the meeting added more tension and mystery as I wasn't entirely sure what would be discussed so it made finding out even more exciting.

Your description in this story was really great! I really liked how it was quite heavy because not only was it lovely but it meant that it showed all their emotions in another way and it was really clever.

Wah, the moment I loved and just carried so much feeling was when Snape showed Hermione his hands. It was just such a great example to show the differences between them and why they would never work in his opinion. The use of the visual aid was not only useful for Hermione but also for the reader as you could just envisage so much more and the differences between them became much clearer as a result. Snape seemed so sad at that point so all the feels too! ♥

Another thing I loved was how you touched on Lily because I felt that was necessary in order for them to actually be able to have a relationship together. It was interesting to see how Hermione was the naive one here and how she thought Lily should have loved him as he gave her everything whereas it was Snape who knew that Lily would never, ever, love him because of the way he treated her. It was nice to see that in this story he finally got some resolution with Lily as that love was always eating away at him so I'm glad he could get over it in the end, and I suppose Hermione helped a lot with that.

I honestly thought they weren't going to get together in the end so I rather liked the twist of them being together as that did surprise me and we do rarely see a happy ending with angst pairings such as Snape and Hermione. Overall, I really enjoyed this one-shot and great work on it!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana. Thank you. :) -thinks-
No, I don't believe you have? But, really that's so sweet. -melts in a puddle of gooey emotion. ha-

Pronouns are my lover. You should ask my friend, who occasionally reads through things for me, because she always points out that I seem to have an aversion for using my character's names. (BUT BUT BUT he/she are so much easier to type. D=) I'm glad, though, that in this instance it actually works.

And, yes, that letter. I can just about see that piece of parchment -- crumpled with tension-filled words on it. Haha. And I imagined that it was how Severus would actually send a message (in my backstory he's afraid to produce a Patronus because he's actually afraid that it's changed already so letter by owl it was.)

Anyway, yes, the hands. I have a thing for hands. Describing them, using them as symbols, having them be the main point of action, etc. IDK, they're just so varied. Everyone's hands are so different so there's fun in seeing how ones hands can reflect the way their live's have gone. So, yes, I thought it seemed fitting in the fewest words possible to show how different the two of them are.

Lily. Yes, Lily. I think she's the most important thing for them to discuss. Even though they'd been getting closer the last few months (? I'm not too sure of the timeline here but, months it is) Snape would not have opened up to Hermione regarding Lily and she would have respected that. In this case; however, I think it was imperative for both of them to address the elephant in the room. So in my head, this is the first time the topic was brought up. woo!

I honestly think their point of view on the entire thing is skewed, of course. Hermione thinks Lily should have forgiven him but he thinks she was right in not doing so. I think they're both right and wrong so I just went with how they'd react in the situation and give them both resolution. I honestly don't think Severus would be able to accept loving anyone without resolving the "Lily era." I think he could fall in love but he would deny it.

Oh, I actually had it in my head the ENTIRE TIME that they'd split up. Hermione would tell Severus that she'd always love him, kiss him and leave, as he asks. I realized though that Severus deserved a happy ending and that Hermione (as I feel I've wrote her in this oneshot) would not have given up so easily.

Anyway, thank you thank you! Your review really made me think and thank you so much again! I hope you know your review totally made me smile. LIKE, a HUGE smile. :D

--Carla


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Review #16, by patronus_charmPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

8th November 2014:
Hey Mallory!

Ooh ooh ooh this story is very intriguing and very cool and I may be a little bit in love with it. I love all the world building you did because I always find that when the author makes new locations and activities for wizards and witches to do it makes the story a whole lo more magical. I'm not sure why really but it just does. You also described it in a load of detail too so it wasn't confusing at all and I could really imagine it and it's just cool!

But oh my wizard god is your OC super cool. I really love super confident ones because you rarely ever come across them in FF as I guess there is the danger of them becoming a little too Mary-Sue, but it doesn't seem like it hear, and I can imagine that her confidence means that she's going to get up to some interesting escapades. I really liked how passionate she was about the game of pool because she made it seem a lot more interesting that it seems to be in real love. Plus, the way she didn't seem to even feel a bit guilty about tricky that poor man out of his money made me laugh (even though I probably shouldn't have done!) as it just showed how great your character development is as I already have such a vivid sense of her.

More on your character development though, because even that minor man was developed so well and you really do have me worrying what on earth Bonnie is going to say to him when he gets home, and it's great how you didn't even neglect tiny things such as that.

Finally, the mystery with Freddy has caught my attention. I wonder what on earth is going on there as I never imagined him to be a criminal so I wonder whether Molly Weasley knows anything about this. I have a feeling that there's some history between the two of them so I can't wait to see them together as I'm sure it's going to be interesting.

Great first chapter, Mallory! :D

-Kiana

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Review #17, by patronus_charmJust One Kiss: Chapter 1

7th November 2014:
Hi there, here for the review battle!

I really loved this insight into Hermione's mind as it was very interesting and different to what I usually come across. The focus given to the choice of the engagement ring was really introduced as it really did help symbolise the problems in her relationship with Ron -- that they both still loved one another in a way but they were just misunderstanding one another and not really getting everything right. I really liked that that aspect was included and it really worked.

Another thing I liked in terms of Hermione's thoughts was that she didn't not love him as much because she didn't like him, but more because they had fallen apart. I don't know if that makes sense but it just felt like a natural transition that they didn't like one another as much anymore and that was really interesting. You also briefly hinted at the impact the Battle of Hogwarts had had upon them so it will be interesting to see how a big a part that continues to be throughout the story.

Another thing I loved was how smoothly this read and there were no bumps at all. It might sound weird, but there's usually something which jars with me when reading a story but I didn't have that with this chapter, because as well as the flow of the story being great, in terms of grammar and spelling it was pretty much spot on too which is always something to be happy about as it doesn't often happen.

The ending was very intriguing I must say with the way it left Hermione all sad and reflective and I hope she doesn't go on to do something she may regret later on. I can't wait to read more anyhow as this was a really good first chapter!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was quite an emotional piece to write, because as you said, its not that Hermione didn't love Ron, its just, there was no longer that spark between them. The romance had gone and at some point, you do have to make the choice of moving on and risking something that's ok for something that could be so much better.

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Review #18, by patronus_charmHouse of Cards: Jack of Clubs

6th November 2014:
Hi Laura, here for the review battle and also because I really need to catch up on this story!

But wah so much drama with the way Pollux and the House Elf are dead! Who on earth is doing this? My current theory is that Bella killed the house elf because that just seems like the type of thing she would do as she can get annoyed really easily, and yeah, itís just a Bella thing to do and itís more a thing resulting from irrational anger than anything else. As for who killed the other two, I have a feeling thatís a separate killer, someone much more measured, controlled even, and they really do have a vendetta which is driving them to do this, so it will be interesting to see if the next few chapters give me any more cools.

As usual, your description and dialogue were really fantastic and helped give the story a mystery/dark feel that helped to keep up the suspense throughout. You just have this ability to focus on really tiny details so it tricks the reader into thinking that itís something vital in discovering whoís behind this plot, again adding to the mystery.

More on the characters though! Alphard was fabulous and I can see exactly why he was blasted off of the family tree with the comment about controlling children as it really did make me chuckle. I also felt quite a bit sorry for poor old Lucius just after Pollux dropped down and he is being crossed off of my suspect list as he genuinely seemed shocked and scared by the death and really wanted to ascertain it wasnít his fault. As usual, Sirius was fab. ♥

I canít wait to read on!

-Kiana

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Review #19, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #5

1st November 2014:
Hey again Sian!

Ahahahah the first section is making me think that perhaps my crazy theory isnít so crazy after all. I donít know why, it just seems as if the idea that Malcolm staged is a bit more plausible but I shall have to carry on reading to see if Iím right or not. I definitely do think it has something to do with his blood status anyhow, because the comments made about muggles were certainly deriding so fingers crossed I got that bit right at least!

I love Lucy! Sheís just so bold and funny and out there and I really do hope that she carries on being blunt as it just makes me laugh when she is. Ah, Roxanne why did you make excuses for not going to The Burrow as I really did want to see all the Weasleys together but I guess weíll have that at Teddy and Victoireís wedding. Waah Daniel sounds like a poo for lack of 15+/M words. Iím so glad that they broke up because even though it seems as if Roxanne is still hurting over it, it sounds like it was for the best as he does not sound like a pleasant guy, and I hope if she sees him again she shows how awesome she is without him.

Waaah that is so awkward! Now I donít know whose team to be on, because while Daniel was being a poo, Roxanne could have chosen someone else to rebound on because it is a little awkward with all that jealously floating around there. It also makes sense why Fredís so angry at her now, but I still have a feeling thereís a bit more there as Roxanne is his sister after all. Hmm, we shall have to see!

It has finally been revealed!! Wah, I donít know what to think, I donít know whose team to be on, I donít know whether I want Roxanne and him to be together again. I just donít know. Please update soon because maybe then Iíll know :P Great chapter! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! :D

Mwahaha I am not giving anything away, even though you're trying to trigger a reaction with your theory (which is, I have to admit, very interesting!). It's kind of frustrating not being able to tell you what's going on but I suppose you wanting to know is a good sign :P

Lucy was so fun to write! I had a plunny for a novel about her at one time but I like her much better in this story and she'll make a few more appearances, for sure! You will see the Weasleys together at some point, but I was getting kind of terrified about writing them all so early on! Hehe, I love your description of Daniel :P

Yes, I had to make things complicated! It's not as easy or as simple as it might have seemed and so there's now a lot of complicated tensions between Roxy and her family and I'm glad you liked the chapter! I will update as soon as possible, especially now that NaNo's over - I just have to get my work out of the way first!

Thank you for review bombing me, Kiana - it really made my day! ♥


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Review #20, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #4

1st November 2014:
Whoo, Iím back :D

I liked the beginning section of this chapter as we got to see a different perspective to what it means to be a journalist as thereís the boring side to it such as buying people drinks and waiting around as well as the fun side to it too. Roxanne really does seem to be a great journalist with the way she knew how to manipulate the situation (in a good way mind) to get the most out of the interview and she did draw out some interesting answers. I canít wait to see whatís up with the Upton guy, though I canít help but wonder whether heís going to be a red herring or not though. I loved how you called one of the guys Marius though as it just meant I had Les Mis songs going on in my head :P

Ooh ooh oooh this just got interesting with seeing the prisoner! I really hope Roxanne does find him soon as it does not sound like itís going to be good for him. The fact that no names were used has made me come up with a crazy theory which you can dismiss if you want as it probably is a little crazy but maybe Malcolm staged his own disappearance and took someone else captive so to deflect attention away from the person he took? Itís probably a crazy idea but it could potentially be true :P

Wah George and Angelina were adorable so you definitely did write them well! I really love the idea of Angelina working in the joke shop too, as theyíre just such a good duo I can imagine it made the joke shop even more successful. They seemed like natural parents to Roxanne too and I could see flickers of both of them in her which just shows how well you characterised them all. The tensions with Roxanne and her other cousins seemed to increase in this chapter even if she didnít see them so I canít wait to see what itís like in the next few.

So many exciting things are happening, I canít wait to read on! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi again, Kiana! I'm slowly making my way through these lovely reviews!

This chapter didn't appear anywhere at all in my initial planning, actually, but when I got to writing around this time I felt like there needed to be another one included, and this turned out to be one of my favourites so far. I wanted to show the fact that it's not all glamorous being a journalist, and that she's got to do some irritating things to get the stories that she needs. I couldn't possibly comment either way on Upton's nature!

I'm also not going to dismiss any theories that anybody comes up with in response to this, it's so interesting to see what readers think might be happening! Haha, I was mean not using names but it's great that you came up with a reason for it, though of course I can't say if it's right or not! And yeah, things aren't going too well for the prisoner at the moment!

Yay, thank you! I was so nervous writing George and Angelina but I found myself really enjoying it and the relationship between them, so it means a lot that you liked them too. And yep, things are starting to become a bit more obvious as far as Roxy and her cousins are concerned, so you'll find out soon!

Thank you for this brilliant review! ♥


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Review #21, by patronus_charmPlay the Devil: Starlight

1st November 2014:
Hi again Jenna! Iím just trying to catch up on your all stories today :D

Wah wah wah that moment with Richard ♥ wah wah wah so many feels ♥ wah wah wah it was so perfect ♥ I really loved it as they just opened up to one another and even though it was only a little bit it just seemed to have revealed so much. Roseís comments about Hugo made me laugh so much about how he was a brat as it was a nice touch to add in a bit of humour to the otherwise serious section. I feel so bad for Richard because he does genuinely seem to want to marry for love and have someone he really cares for, itís just obviously a little hard in those times to find someone like that and even though heíll sort of have it with Rose, I know it obviously canít last because of the whole time travel situation. Wah, that section was just so angsty!

I really loved how Richard taught her the history of the English kings and Iím impressed by how you managed to condense it down but make sure that all the facts were still there as it couldnít have been an easy job! Richard seemed so sad when he was recounting that story for some reason, I canít help but wonder what he was really thinking and feeling and whether he wanted to be king at that moment in time or whether he got the urge later on in life. Hmm, so many questionsÖ.

Bahaha, poor Rose forgetting about all the social customs of the time! She must have made Callumís day apologising to him though! I really love all this time Richard and Rose are spending together as they really do seem to be learning about one another as well as learning from one another too and itís so cute and adorable and just wonderful! ♥ There was another comedy scene with Apollo who is, indeed, a very adorable war horse! But the elbow grabbing and looking at the stars moment was my favourite bit of the whole chapter because of the feels! ♥ Though the whole someone walking on your grave feel did creep me out and I hope this isnít an omen.

But wah, why did Rose have to go back to the present? Just as she and Richard were getting so close she had to leave him, oh well, I guess I can find out more about her and Scorpius now! A great chapter and sorry for this rambling review, because itís even leaving me feeling confused :P

-Kiana

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Review #22, by patronus_charmThe Deathly Children: Of Blood and Intent

1st November 2014:
Hey teh!! I am finally here and I canít believe how long itís taken me to get here *hides* Congrats on your Dobby win though, I canít think of a more deserving story! :D

Ooh I didnít think this story would visit the Gaunt family as well but Iím so glad that it did as they really are so intriguing and I love reading about them. The letter really caught his character and really showed how full of hatred Marvolo was and how bitter his feelings were, and I hope we can actually meet him in this story.

Ah Gellert is so dark and twisted and horrible and all ew and why is so strange? He is so fixated on the Hallows he even sees it in rock, paper, scissors which just shows how unhealthy this obsession is for him and I canít wait to see you explore his dark and twisted evil side more as it was really interesting here. You included a Creevey though! That made me a little too excited, but the way Gellert tried to wear him down on purpose made me so sad and I hope Gellert doesnít go out of his way to victimise him now, as that would cause way too many feels.

I really enjoyed Kendraís section because I so rarely find a story which explores her own feelings and thoughts so it was really great to get it here. I could tell that she loved Ariana and cared for her deeply too even if it was in quite a strange way, but Iím so glad that you showed that side of her as I do believe that Kendra did love her daughter. I liked the twist with Kendra teaching Ariana about magic as itís nice to know that they at least tried to integrate her into the magical community.

Ariana ♥ I really love her here, sheís just wonderful! I really like how she takes an interest in the world and believes that Albus is interesting, and that sheís curious enough to go out searching for knowledge, and how she doesnít believe sheís an invalid. All of these things just make her have her own sense of self and thatís so important in making her realistic and wah I just love her in this story ⋝

Albus and Gellertís conversation was really interesting though despite the sort of Ariana bashing from Gellert. I liked the way you sorted the Durmstrang students as it was a nice twist and fitted in well with how I imagine the school to be. The fact that Gellert just cares about magic rather than how much magical blood you have is really intriguing as it helps to explain why Albus did follow him, as it would have given his story more protection. Albus does really seem to care for Ariana and I am in this story, so I can sort of why he followed Gellert in order to make the world safer for his story even if it is a twisted vision.

Anyhow, a fabulous chapter teh! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! ♥

Aww, thank you so much for coming back! I'm so pleased to see you back at this story, and askjdhkl THANK YOUU. That Dobby really means a lot to me, especially for this fic, which is my main WIP and the story I've been working on all year.

I didn't think the name of Gaunt would even be mentioned. ARGH this is a last minute thing, and I'm hoping the whole fic doesn't unravel because of these decisions. :P Marvolo is quite the character, isn't he?

Gellert is indeed obsessive and YES I did include a Creevey. Obviously I couldn't include Dennis, so I wrote an ancestor of the Creeveys. BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. Poor Creevey, being bullied by Gellert. :(

I loved reading your thoughts about Kendra! You're right that she teaches her daughter and cares for her in a very unorthodox and downright weird way - but it's my headcanon that the Dumbledores were always a very strange family, including Kendra. I didn't think I was going to write another flashback scene with Kendra in it, but I'm glad I did. After all, I've written quite a fair bit about her, just never posted it up.

Wah, thank you for your comments on Ariana! She does indeed have her own secret life, and her brothers especially Albus know so little about her, truly. And Albus and Gellert and all their big talk are fun as usual to write. :P

Thank you for this fabulous review, Kiana! ♥ And thanks again for coming back! *hugs*

-teh


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Review #23, by patronus_charmJigsaw: Piece #3

1st November 2014:
Hey Sian!! I'm finally back to catch up on this story!

Ooh Violet is a horrible piece of work it's safe to say and I am not a fan of her at all. I really loved how you described her as I can just picture her vividly in my head and at the moment I'm thinking of her as a patronising version of Rita Skeeter. I really hope Roxanne does go and prove her wrong and uses the press conference as a way of gaining more information. In fact, that entire conversation with Violet just made Roxanne endear herself to me even more. I'm not quite sure why but it just did.

I loved the way you described the press conference, it was so full of energy it just made me want to be there too with all those unique characters and the way they were all trying to fight it out to get the best scoop. Ooh so there's tension between Roxanne and Lily as well as with Fred. Hmm, I can't wait to see that story explored more as Roxanne's just so lovely and adorable there must be a really good reason for why Lily isn't a fan of her. I really liked how you tied that sub-plot in though, because there is a tendency with mysteries to just focus on the mystery and not the character development but you've managed to balance both here which is really great.

Whoo go Roxanne! I'm so proud of her and that fact she had enough courage to go and ask a question about the disappearance as I have feeling this case is what's going to make her as a journalist. The yet in the answer to it does seem to be very important, and I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of action to come in the next few chapters!

Ah, I really feel for Roxanne and the fact that even when she goes for an after work drink her surname has to be brought up as that must suck a lot. I loved hearing about all of their conspiracies though as I'm currently wondering whether any of them are true or not. I'm inclined to agree with Roxanne about no to the murder, but I have a feeling that blood status may be involved. Maybe it's the case of muggle borns going after purebloods this time round?

Ooh and a surprise appearance from Fred! I must read on and find out what's going on with him! Great chapter, Sian :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! Ah, you don't even know how awesome it was to see these three reviews appearing on the first day of NaNo - you're such an awesome NaNo mum/person!

Haha, I can kind of agree with you on Violet, and with her and Miranda Roxy's definitely not got the nicest work colleagues! I'm really glad that you're liking Roxy more too, since I love her and she's the main character haha!

The press conference was really fun to write, although a bit difficult too without giving away too much information about the case! I'm glad you liked the inclusion of the sub-plot, as that's something I'm trying to include, but I don't want to manage them badly since this is my first longer mystery! You'll find out (have already haha) why Lily's not talking to Roxy!

Yay, Roxanne's asking questions and showing her determination! There's definitely going to be some more action to come in future chapters!

Hehe, I'm glad that you're interested in all the different theories as well :) I can't comment on any of them of course but you could be on the right lines...

Yes, Fred turns up and acts mysteriously, ooh...

Thank you for this lovely review, Kiana! ♥


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Review #24, by patronus_charmThe Moon Maiden: The North Window

1st November 2014:
Hey Jenna! I'm finally here for the review exchange so whoo for that and apologies for being late with it :P

Wah, this story seems so exciting! (this is a rolling review just for future reference) I've only read the first section so far and I'm already in love! The description is amazing, and it really gives the story the antiquated feel I imagine it to have and it just ties in so well. Another thing I loved was how Bathilda is a writer because it somehow gives the story a wonderful poetic element to it which ties into the description and just makes it all lovely. I'm not sure if that makes much sense to you but I really love it. I'm also really intrigued about who the visitor could be and why she's accusing Bathilda of those things. I have a feeling there's a very good backstory to this so I can't wait to read on and find out what happened!

Ooh I loved the beginning of the ball scene as it just revealed so much about Bathilda's character and made me love her! She really is an independent woman who knows how she stands in society. I really like how despite the fact she knows that, she rebels too with the way she isn't married and is a historian as it just makes it so much more interesting. Another twist I liked was the fact though she wasn't of the same social standing as the others, she was still comfortable to hang around with all these people, and that really showed what an independent person she was.

Muriel was really interesting too, as I never imagined her to be such a lively and chatty person as she seems so moody in her old age. I liked the twist about her having to marry Ollivander because there were no other suitors for her. It does make me wonder whether anything did happen on the continent, or more specifically whether anything happened between Muriel and Bathilda because I have a feeling that something did. Hmm, I shall just have to read on and find out!

The ending was very curious and I can't wait to see why Bathilda has to please this lady as the whole situation just seems so strange right now, I need more information so I can try and figure out what's happened here.

I will definitely be back to read the other chapters as this first one was great, Jenna! ♥

-Kiana

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Review #25, by patronus_charmDarkened Allure: Under The Starlight Gaze

19th October 2014:
Hey again Avi!

ďYour words did not cause any trouble at all,Ē she lied, and her eyes finally left his.
ďThen whatís making you unable to focus in class?Ē he asked her.

So much banter between the two! Wah, I really love Blaise here with the way he teases her gently like that as it draws her out of her serious side and makes her more relaxed and thatís nice to see. Also just quickly, I think this is only my second Hermione/Blaise story but Iím really enjoying it so far!

Woah, woah, woah, they kissed? I did not call it, I really didnít. I know I was talking about banter before but I did not see that coming and it was so rushed yet so cute and perfect as a first kiss and I ♥ it. Another thing I liked was all there references to Krum as theyíre working really well as he was sort of forbidden romance like Blaise is, so itís really cool what youíre doing here.

One small CC with this chapter is that I found there were a lot of short sentences, especially towards the beginning of the chapter, meaning it messed up the overall flow a little so if you used more connectives and made them longer I think it would really help with it :)

Wait. What? What? What? How. How. How. I have no words. Why do this to me Avi? They just kissed and he did that? Maybe he got angry about all the Krum references? But still, I did not call that either. My mind is blown. I need to read on and figure out more because itís just so rfpojerpogjrgtb.

Wah massive plot twist and the Blaise and Draco scene just left me feeling more confused but I have a feeling Voldemort commissioned this. So confusing. Please update? ♥



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