Hey! Okay so I said I would review so here goes..good job on the olive character..it's hard to make up new ones and place them in the HP world sometimes. As for constructive criticism, the only thing with this story is that it's a bit cliche. The typical marauder story, which, dont get me wrong, is never bad. I love the boys, hehe. Just some things..like how olive is always skinny, and beautiful and perfect is very common for original characters. Hopefully you catch my drift. I like reading the thoughts of her though, you should develop those more..and maybe you have in later chapters :) Anyhow..it's fun to write the marauders, isn't it? Keep on going!!Author's Response: I'm glad that you gave me some contructive critisism. Not many people do.
As for the cliche-ness, its my first long story. I decided to stick to something easy and fun until I could write something more creative.
And about Olive, she looks like all the other characters I know but what (i hope) sets her apart from the others is her personality. I see her as a bright and great person who is kind of troubled in her own way. Not troubled in a way where she turns dark and takes drugs and stuff but where it starts to make her a less trusting person and then she gets to another new school where there are people that are even tougher than her. And she learns to love, and to be strong, and to just....be mushy at times. She is used to jumping around from place to place and always getting new people to......not really befriend but to overcome. Like, she doesn't want to get in too deep with her friends and stuff because she doesn't want to get hurt.
But anyway, none of you can see that yet because I haven't written it all down. I've only thought it!
And I love my boys. They are based on people in my everyday lives.
And yes, the marauders are the most fun people to write about because JK was a bit vague on their lives so that makes you want to make your own ideas up about it!
I will keep on going but I need to wait until summer which is very soon. Sorry! Report Review
Cute...I love Sirius.
Although, this chapter was kind of short, it was, in a way, fitting.
I hope Wish ends up with Sirius in the end.
And knowing you, it's more likely then not going to end up like that?
I'm exciting for the ending though. I agree with you, organize where you want to go with this story and see how many chapters you NEED before the ending. I find that when I write chapters just for the sake of writing them, the story doesn't have as much of a dynamic effect. (hence why I ended Captivated where I did...it was just time). But yes, that being said. Good job at speedy updating...kinda jealous...and I await the next one as always... Report Review
Love it. Beautiful beginning.
Can't wait for more! Report Review
I'm glad I stumbled across this little gem of a story.
I have recently taken to reading stories involving the lovely Severus Snape and must admit that I rather enjoyed this one!
I loved the dialouge-ness of Lily and Snape..out of curiousity when did you write this? Before deathly hallows? Anyhow, great one shot! Aren't they fun to write? I have a soft spot for them, reading and writing.
Fantastic job, I'll be reading more of your stuff not to worry...but as of now, I am quite tired and need to get to sleep in order to wake up for class tomorrow. Gross, I know.
Hugs, dear!Author's Response: OMG! Hey. :) I haven't seen you in ages - but then again, I haven't been on the Archives much lately - I'm 100% addicted to the Forums now. Anyhow, this was incredibly unexpected, especially since this story is very old - and yes, you guessed correctly - it was written way before Deathly Hallows, and it shocked me to see how similar it was to canon. I love writing one-shots, and reading them - I have a very soft spot for them too :D. Thank you so much for the amazing review, it means a lot. And booh for classes - I have to wake up at 5 to go to work tomorrow, and then I have classes at 2. x_x It was great to hear from you! Huggles, CJ Report Review
so. basically i meant to review this ages ago.
but as we should all know by now, i am really bad at remembering to review if i don't do it right away.
that being said, (in an attempt to excuse myself for being tardy)...
yay! writing was fantastic! although i'm not going to lie, wish was bound to end up with sirius sooner or later. but i still love the twist about the arranged marriage! see, that is original. and original is wonderful in my books. so kep it up! i'd suggest you stick with the cliffhangers...because i like how you use them and how you end your chapters! definately makes me want to read more!
and with that all said and done.
great work, keep it up. how many more chapters do you have planned? unless you are, of course, like me and have no idea..and just will stop writing whenever the mood so strikes. lol.
(ps i know this no where near as long as the review you just gave me..which i still need to answer...because obviously you're the better reviewer, lol. but it's a start!) hugs! Report Review
Absolutely beautiful. I loved it very much. Great writing, you really got to the emotions under the surface. A wonderful perspective that undertaken brilliantly! Report Review
Okay, this is my favorite chapter by far! I don't know what happened...but your writing has improved in this one, yay! Hmm i liked the ball costume ideas, very clever. And PROPS FOR THE ILIAD REFERENCE. Haha i love you! Anddd as for the twist. WHAT? lolll so now do you see how much fun writing cliff hanger endings is?? It's basically the reason i like writing. *smiles*. Anyways...keep up the wonderful work! Don't get discouraged by lack of reviews or anything...some brilliant stories on this site hardly get recognition. And, hey, at least you know you have one true fan!! Update soon! lovelovelove.Author's Response: heyyyyyyyy there... lol wow that's really sweet!!! maybe cuz im writing after a year/ lol... the Iliad ROCKS..... lol... i hope u liked the next chappie just as much.. hugs
xoxo Report Review
''she was kind of the female Prongs to him''. LOL.
hey love, so yes, of course people want to read your stuff!
let's see...although it was a rather short chapter, it does leave me wanting to read the next one! I think a kiss would be good...but don't force it...if Mehwish is mad at Sirius, let her be mad! Lol (i love conflict). Hmm. Oh! Just at the beginning, you started out in first person and then randomly switched the point of view in the same paragraph. Just letting you know, because that doesn't really work too well. Hehe. I think that's it...I like how this story is about Sirius, and I like how he's indecisive...it adds a nice flaw in his character. I hope there is dialogue in the next chapter though...i don't know why actually..it's just interesting to read. So without further ado...keep up the writing! (if you must end this story soon, do it with style)...lots of hugs!!Author's Response: awww...thank you oh soo much for your review!!
i really appreciate the feedback!!
yeah i noticed the changing pov but its like when ur doing something its "I" but when you think its a "you" i dunno it made soo much sense in my head when i was writing it lol!!!
i'll try to end in style and WHAT is your secret to ppl reviewing after you've been gone for months!!??!?!
xoxo Report Review
i forgot that this story had Elayna in it.
and i forgot that i loved it.
so i was just checking around the site and BAM..a chapter I hadn't reviewed!
hmm. good job, i like when sirius yelled at lily, hehe. the spacing in this story seems a bit out of whack though. just to let you know.
buttt yay, write some new chapters dear!Author's Response: lol now dat you've reviewd the chapter is officially complete!!! lol but funny u rite today cuz i started the next chappie today!!
thnx soooo much for reviewing (and updating) and hopefully u like the story not just because of elayna! lol... and she'll probably be disappering into the background soon...sorry!!!
this story will now be more revolving around sirius/wish and will end a lot sooner than i had planned...mainly because I can't concentrate... and dont' want to make it go on for too long cuz i NEVER update lol
but thnx!! Report Review
good set up for future chapters, which i look forward to.
keep up the good work, dear. Report Review
i just read the whole thing and have fallen in love with it
props for an incredible imagination, and wonderful characterizatoins.
i look forward to future chapters, i'm so curious as to how you are going to end it.
i think you should just pick one ending though, instead of alternates, i just think it would give needed closure to the whole story. buttt that's just my opinion, which should have no effect on you, lol, since this is your own creation after all.
but yes, congrats on a great story!
hugs! Report Review
Wow, what a great start!
This is definately a wonderful original idea and I'm very excited to read more.
This chapter of dialogue was written very well, i loved it!
hugs, dear! Report Review
Beautiful, I loved this very much.
The flashback was wonderful.
Good choice of words, and a very original idea.
Cheers!Author's Response: The original challenge to do this "ship" weirded me out until I realized I could do it, but not do it. Sometimes that's the best part of doing a challenge. Thanks for your review. Report Review
This was a wonderfully short, light read and I enjoyed it muchly.
Wonderful work, dear, keep it up! Report Review
I liked it, the last line in the essay made it complete, in my opinion. Very James-esque. I love when people write about James' admiration for his best friend. So the paragraph about Sirius being his other soulmate was so fitting and wonderful. I'm excited for Remus' part. He's usually a little more difficult to write, but is oh so very interesting to read. Hugs, dear!Author's Response: lol thnx!! i think u mean the quidditch line!?! not sure!!
i do believe they r soulmates.. lol and remy...boy is he hard to rite :( lol!! but dat adds to the fun!!
'thnx for the review!
lyl lyl Report Review
Cute. I liked it, but then again, it was rather similar to the whole idea of Scribbles, wasn't it? Like Harry reading a letter each chapter. It's fun to write, eh? I hope you get a lot of reviews. Continue the good work, dear. (p.s. i haven't been on this site for like months...and after updating...why I came to your author page first!). Oh..here's some points I liked.
"I am the girl constantly on the verge of tears, who smiles when something sad happens. "
"I have learned that many people have cold hearts, and that no matter what you do they won’t be melted, however there is always that one case that proves all logic wrong and proves love to be the best medicine, though one shouldn’t count on it too much"
"I understand I am unrealistic, but don’t want to be woken up from my fantasy"...amen to that one.
Cheers!Author's Response: omg AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
a review from velvet... might i say i postively screamed seeing ur name on the screen!! WELCOME BACK darling!!
thnx sooooooooooo much for ur review... of course its like scribbles... remember we talked about it... when i sent u dat story and requested a scribble-like thing...
i thought i'd try my own hand at it... and its qutie fun...though difficult!
im sooooooooo glad u liked it and that u pointed out the parts...
thnx ososossoossososo much!!
and i read ur new chappie but am exhausted from exams so i'll review asaic!!!
once again: YAY ur back... u just mite b getting an email soon :)
and wow...im in ur favs...soo honored... u cant imagine!
lyl lyl Report Review
So basically, this story provided much needed entertainment for me and I would just like to thank you for that. I really haven't read any fanfiction in FOREVER so I was randomly searching for humor stories and I picked this one to read. It was very enjoyable. If I can suggest something to you it's this: write more Ron and Hermione stories. You write them both very well, and their interactions were very great to read. I don't usually read Ron/Hermione stories, so I just wanted to say that your story might have changed that. So yeah, thanks for writing a good story! There's a few random spelling mistakes here and there like 'their/there/they're', which is usually a common thing people mess up. But other then that, I liked it. It flowed nicely. Hugs, dear!
-velvet Report Review
Yaaay! I love this story. It's so very intriguing. I can't stop reading it, but alas, I must desist seeing as how they're are no more chapters left. So, James plays piano. You don't know how much more I love you now. I play the piano and it's like my one weekness. So I kind of want to marry James right now. Brilliant idea. Brilliant chapter. (i loved how James' mom wouldn't let him stop playing the piano by the way...a very Potter-ish thing to do, lol). But yes, you're probably bored with all of my long reviews by now, so I am sorry. But just know, (as if i haven't said it enough), I adore your story. You are a very good writer. So keep going. Thanks for an entertaining read! I love when I stumble across a good story, and I have today. Thanks! Hugs! And remember...updates are your friend. *smiles*.Author's Response: Bored with your reviews??? I love long reviews... It means a lot to me that you took the time to write such lengthy reviews for each of my chapter -- you're a great reader :) I am so happy you stumbled across my story... and I'm so happy I was able to provide you with an entertaining read. As for updating, I'm waiting for my Beta's answer... So hopefully, you'll hear of Symphony for Quartet quite soon! Report Review
Omg. I love James Potter. Simply an amazing, wonderful friend. I absolutely loved the first part of this story. It was just a great read. I'm excited to read more. I also must commend you on the lengths of your chapters. They're very nice and long, excellend for a good read. So yes, bravo, dear. I'm giving you a good round 10/10 for each and every chapter. Oh, and this story is in my favorites.Author's Response: HA! I told you! I LOVE my James!... I'm very happy you liked the first part of the story. I've just begun the second part, I hope it'll be just as good. And thanks for putting the story in your favourites! Report Review
Aww poor Remus! I feel sooo bad for him. He needs to tell his friends, but he can't. That's the hardest thing to live with. Knowing that you can't tell someone something and having to lie about it. And *gasp* James and Sirius know! Their reactions were written beautifully. Good job. Loving your writing...but you already know that. Hugs, love!Author's Response: Thanks!... I have a soft spot for my last sentence, to tell the truth... Report Review
I like how Sirius likes his sleep. Lol. I really liked when James and Remus briefly fought about the holidays. I thought it was extremely appropiate for Remus to do..have I mentioned how much I love how you write his character? Because I do. I really do. And the interaction between Sirius and James is very cute. Because they're just instant best friends. Again, cute. And the letter Sirius wrote James...omg i loved it. Like he can completely trust James and feels comfortable with him. True friendship. And I like how they treat Peter. He is a marauder after all. I hope they find out the remus mystery soon....Author's Response: "Cute" seems like a good word to describe that story, doesn't it? And I see what you mean about Peter. I've read just too many stories in which everyone was all DIE PETER DIE... or in which Peter had simply disappeared. Thanks for the review! Report Review
'Oh. She was tougher than he had thought' Omg, love love love! James and Lily...yay! I loved their little argument in the air. I also like how the marauders are so innocent. Just typical boys having innocent fun. Like the paper planes. Too cute. I like how you take a normal plot...(the marauders going through school)...and add little things in it here and there that make it totally original. Great stuff! You definately made me smile a couple of times. (and the itneractions between James and Lily are my favorite people to read/write about so..yay i liked this chapter!)Author's Response: Oh, I had so much fun writing the chapter! (I had trouble, too, but in the end it's not too bad :)) That's my cutest story, you know? it's a real treat to write it. And I'm so glad I made you smile!
And btw... I love the James/Lily interactions too. Report Review
I liked the sorting! It wasn't boring at all. And let's see..hmm. The fact that James was telling Sirius to ASK not to be put in Slytherin was very clever of you. Because it's exactly what Harry does, right? Like father, like son. And like the books say 'it's not out abilities..blah, blah, blah,...it's our choices'. Right? So whether you did that intentinally or not...I thought it was very discreetly brilliant. So props to you! Author's Response: Being my gracious, coordinate self, I accidentally hit the 'enter' key with my right elbow; which explains the weird answer to your last review. Well, basically I wanted to say Remus was very nice to write, as he's a sweet and shy boy (and there are too many cool guys roaming about in fanfiction :/). And I liked writing Snape a lot.
So, about THIS review: well, first of all, thanks (and sorry for my disastrous lack of imagination). I don't remember if I did the "ask the Hat" thing on purpose :D I wrote that chapter a looong time ago. Now you mention it, I think I did want to make a parallel between Harry's Sorting and Sirius', but I'm not sure I wanted to make James tell that to Sirius because he's Harry's father. It was more like... James being Sirius' best friend... and the only one to know Sirius is at odds (sweet understatement) with his family... well... it felt right that it should be him to say it. Report Review
Eeee! Well. Remus being my favorite character, I loved this chapter muchly. Very good job with him. I just adore how you write him. His personality is very nicely written...and even though he likes to be alone, we can already see that he is missing friends in his life. Oh, I love this. The boys are all comfortable with each other already. Beautiful. And the Snivellus thing...priceless. I liked this line for some reason...'Snape narrowed his eyes. “Why are you so aggressive, Potter?” he asked, his voice soft and infuriatingly calm. “I was merely watching.” I don't know why, I just liked the way you wrote it. Well anyhow, I'm off to the next chapter. Good job! I like how you write the marauders. It's refreshing to see them as normal teenagers. (or soon-to-be teenagers) . Rather then the familiar womanizing ones...you know. Hugs!
Author's Response: Another Remus fan??!! Am I the only one to be head over heels for James? Ah, well, I love Remus too, so that's not a problem :) I like writing him too... he's Report Review
Oh, how lovely. I love the fact that the boys didn't want to talk to each other at the beginning. It just has such a good effect when you think about how close they become at Hogwarts. I liked this line 'he was suffocating in this atmosphere', nicely written. I like how we can already see the 'marauder' in both of the boys, and the 'mischief managed' line that you snuck in...just wonderful, dear. *smiles*. I really liked it! Even the reactions from both of their parents seemed plausible. On to chapter three...Author's Response: Thanks for another lovely review! I liked writing this chapter, too. I loved dropping 'maurauderish' hints... I hope you like chapter3! Report Review
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