Reading Reviews From Member: TheHouseElf
46 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheHouseElfLogarithmic: (2)

1st September 2013:
Last chapter that I needed to catch up on! Huzzah :D

I love how separate Cormac and Eloise's lives are at this moment. They are completely different people who probably never had a chance or never wanted to interact before. But you have teased us Val, you've teased us cruelly with a tiny look at what is to come, and you've set up the basis for another encounter brilliantly with the handkerchief (Do people actually have those? I've never met anyone with an embroidered handkerchief in my life, though I'll admit it seems like a pretty cool thing to have in your pocket).

I really want to see more of Eloise and Cormac, so you'd better get onto that next chapter :D

And thanks for the mention! YOU'RE AWESOME TOO!


You are so right about their lives being separated and them being completely different people. When I write this, I generally have at least one moment where I stop, glare at the screen and wonder /why/ I started writing such an unprobable pairing.

So it really makes me happy that you want to see more of Eloise and Cormac because if it wasn't for people like you I wouldn't be writing this in the first place.

Yes, people actually have those! It's a very bourgeois thing to have, so I assumed it'd work for Purebloods too -- I'm sure Draco Malfoy even has his initials embroidered on his socks, no? ;)


 Report Review

Review #2, by TheHouseElfReason to Fight: Entrée par effraction

1st September 2013:
Val, if there is one thing you can do absolutely superbly, it's the realism that you present with every chapter.

The beginning of this was sublime. It was exactly like a wartime medical situation should be- excrutiating and life threatening. The lack of anesthetic, the lack of time, the lack of a lot of things we take for granted today, it was all there in that little scene.

I loved the second part of the chapter, with Camille and Johanna coming to the rescue. Like Jean said, how people manage to talk of damsels in distress when there are women like them to is beyond me. The feminist in me was delighted.

Another brilliant chapter Val- you can clearly see why it won a Dobby! Congratulations on that again, and congrats on the exam results :D Looks like things are going your way!

 Report Review

Review #3, by TheHouseElfReason to Fight: Je ne t'aime plus

1st September 2013:
I said I'd be here with the fangirling, and here I come :P

First off, I want to say sorry. To you, for not reading this sooner, and to myself, because damn, by not reading this sooner I missed what is a great chapter.

OMG VAL! What is this?! All of the Camille/Xavier feels are just attacking me, all at once, it's not even fair. Just no. Your flashback fit in so well with the novel and the chapter and it made me want to cry. It was some pretty intense...stuff (I wanted to say another word there, but alas, I must keep it 12+). They are quickly becoming a favourite couple of mine and they deserve a ship name. Uh huh. Xamille.

And Astrid's part. I think you just want to overload me with feels today, don't you? I see the fledgling of a new relationship that is bound to be doomed. Nazi+French resistance= Never going to work out. Oh well, I SHALL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP (THAT ISN'T EVEN A SHIP YET BUT YOLO).

In all seriousness and honesty, this was an amazing chapter. Yet again, your writing catapults me to a time and place that I have never experienced myself, but I feel like I'm there, y'know?

Just a tiny critique, in the flashback, I don't think you need to tell the reader of Xavier's reasoning behind breaking Camille's heart. You don't need to tell us either that he doesn't actually mean his words. We can infer both from his actions and his body language. It's more interesting if you 'show, don't tell'

 Report Review

Review #4, by TheHouseElfAnd Capers Ensue: Epilogue

23rd July 2013:
Gina! I cannot believe that after more than two whole years of craziness 'And Capers Ensue' is finally over! I don't know whether to be happy that it's complete or cry :P Congratulations though, it has been an amazing journey of biscuits, explosions, seduction and Scorpius Malfoy.

I loved the style of this epilogue. You offered little tidbits about the lives of our cherished characters, such as George and Angelina's decision to go on a cruise, that help us create a picture of how the events of 'And Capers Ensue' have changed them. You don't tell us everything that happened to everyone which would have a) been pretty arduous and boring to read and b) taken forever to write and to read.

I love how Bea's personality has remained a constant. She's still a crazy, slightly addled inventor despite having been through the tough ordeal of being kidnapped- which would have put many off that career path. I also love how Bea's inventions are coming to life and that the original transistor has made its way onto a shop shelf, albeit in a refined form.

I also loved the little Scorpius/Bea scene which was so cute! It's great to see them acting romantically towards each other when they're not in a life or death situation.

Congratulations again Gina and thanks so much for writing a fic that I have grown to adore :D

Author's Response: It's taken too long but now I'm sad it's over D: I kept rereading the end bits over the last few days and I have a feeling I'm going to be nostalgic for this fic for a long time to come. I have lots of ideas for what happens to them later, but none that would make a good story, if that makes sense. And I'd wish I could share it all but I think everyone's imaginations together make a better story :D

Bea, I love that she's come so far but hasn't necessarily made grand leaps in change. She's wiser, in the small ways of how she handles herself, the way she talks, and her confidence. And another detail that separates future!Bea from Hogwarts!Bea is that she's found success on her own (and with maybe a little favoritism from George), and it gives her this air of independence that readies her for the rest of her life.

♥ thank you for reading ^__^

 Report Review

Review #5, by TheHouseElfThe Mark of Cain: The Mark of Cain

23rd July 2013:
Hey Susan! I've been wanting to read this fic for ages and have finally gotten around to doing so. I love the characterisation of Regulus. His story was briefly touched upon in Deathly Hallows, but in this one shot you paid tribute to the 'lesser' Black brother and really expanded on his emotions. I loved all the references to the tales of 'King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table' and other pieces of literature such as Hamlet. These really helped with Regulus' characterisation as for me it just emphasised how young he still was right before his death, and how he yearned for his own quest and his own glory.

I also liked the comparisons between Regulus and Sirius. Outwardly, their views are very different, Sirius being the rebellious Gryffindor, Regulus the obedient, perfect son. However, in this fic, you showed us how very similar they are, despite their words and their positions.

Your descriptions are glorious and vivid as ever. They flawlessly catapult the reader into Regulus' dark world. You even made the sea, which usually has the connotations of happiness and sunny weather, sound cruel and uninviting.

All in all, this was a masterpiece of a one shot and I truly enjoyed reading it!

Author's Response: This is a lovely surprise! Thank you very much for stopping by to read and review this story - it means even more to hear that you've been looking forward to reading it. :D

It's fantastic to hear that you like this portrayal of Regulus as well as the allusions to Arthurian legend. It seems like the kind of heroic past that Regulus would turn toward, seeking to embody the strength and nobility of the legendary knights. Yet it's something that's out of place in Regulus's world - there's no room for chivalrous knights. Instead, it's a world seeped in the kind of corruption that eventually consumes Arthur and the Round Table, and Regulus can't escape the fate of drowning (now that I think of it, the lake in the cave is a strange inversion of the lake from which Excalibur came - there's a "treasure" in each lake with immense power, and while the lake in legend is inhabited by the Lady of the Lake, the lake in the cave is filled with Inferi.

Wow, I wish I had noticed these things sooner! There are a lot of amazing connections here!

Thank you so much for the compliments - eek! I don't know what to say except to thank you for them. It's just fantastic to hear compliments about the style and descriptions in one of my stories. *hugs*

 Report Review

Review #6, by TheHouseElfLogarithmic: (1)

17th April 2013:
Val! Yay, you put it up! I know that I read it all before, but hey, I can still leave reviews :P

As a beginning, this is great as we learn about Eloise and the snippets of events that have shaped her. You've set a strong foundation for what I'm sure will be a brilliant story :D As I said before, your descriptions are lovely and your first few lines... *dying* You know how to captivate a reader ;)

And omg, you dedicated this to me? Now I know how people must feel when an author dedicates a novel to them on the first page, thank you so much!

I can't wait to read more and my inbox is always open for you dear ;)

Author's Response: Aisha!

I'm so, so happy you like this even when you reread it, and I'm even happier you like Eloise :)

Of course I dedicated this to you! You're one of the two who let me rant about this, you deserve a cookie along with the shout-out.

I'm going to update soon, I promise -- and the next chapter is in Cormac's point of view, which I hope you'll like!

 Report Review

Review #7, by TheHouseElfThose Girls: Those Girls

14th April 2013:
Hey there! Here from the review tag!

Homg, I entered this challenge too, but now I feel like I have no chance whatsoever :P I loved how you kept the mystery of who was speaking for quite a while, it kept me reading and it wasn't long enough to get me irritated :D

I also loved how you created a definite distinction between the present Dominique and 14 year old Dominique, because people grow and change and this was a fantastic example of that ;)

I also liked the toxicity of Teddy and Dom's relationship. She knows it isn't right and they always fight, yet they always crawl back to each other. In many ways I would perceive them as drug addicts, they are each others heroine- an addiction and a downfall.

I particularly loved the ending, we don't know what Dominique's choice is and you left us on a cliffy that will never be solved. I will be forever wondering if she opened that door or if she opened it, and sometimes, it's good to leave it open for the reader to decide ;)

Great job!


Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for the review :)

I probably shouldn't admit that the not-letting-on-who's-speaking-thing was kinda accidental :P But I'm glad you liked it, and that it didn't get annoying!

I had lots of fun writing adult Dominique looking back on teenage Dominique- it's great to hear that the change in her felt natural, because I worried a little that the transition wouldn't feel natural...

Ahh, the drug addiction thing is such a lovely analogy! I wish I'd thought of that :P You're absolutely right, it's an addiction, and they both kind of hate it, but can't escape from it.

Glad you liked the ending too! I sort of wanted to leave it so that readers could decide for themselves!

Thanks again for such a wonderful review! I'll come and check out your entry too when I get the chance :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by TheHouseElfNot Normal: {Chapter the Second}

13th April 2013:
Your opening sentences are hilarious! I just, *wipes tears from eyes*

This chapter is brilliant! Regulus is well portrayed and I absoluetly adore his character. He has this dry humour that I love to read- mainly because it's similar to mine- and he isn't too hung up over the fact that he's dead. Plus, he watches Doctor Who, so he gets extra brownie points for that. All in all, he's a brilliant ghost. I do hope we see more of him in later chapters :D

I also loved the watch giving, it was a very sweet moment, just, aw

Author's Response: YOU CAME BACK!

Too excited by half, I know.

Haha; thanks for the appreciation of the opening sentences. I swear, they're the most difficult parts of the story to write!

Regulus is one of my favourite characters to write. He is just so much fun! And I wanted to take him away from being an angsty teenager, and see where he would go once he accepted his fate, so to speak. And of course he watches Doctor Who! And I promise he's recurring!

The watch giving scene was difficult for me to write, which I really just pushed through onto Ellie, so I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it!

 Report Review

Review #9, by TheHouseElfNot Normal: {Chapter the First}

13th April 2013:
Hey dear, here from the review thread!

I love this story, great start :D Ellie's gift with ghosts is sure different from everybody else's ordinary talents. The humour in this wasn't too forced, you did get a chuckle or two out of me - and I'm a tough crowd, trust me ;)

I liked your characters, though I have to say I'm with Albus and Chris on the drinking out of a carton thing...but that's just because I'm lazy :P I liked Rose and Ellie too, especially in the scene with Cassandra and how Ellie doesn't hold with that nonsense :D

The flow could've been better though, there was a lot of short, fragmented scenes that didn't lead on to each other. Plus, as conversations go, these were a little short. And a little bit of britpicking, we don't say malls, we say shopping centres or the name of the place ;)

Overall though, this is a really interesting story and I'd love to see how it plays out :D


Author's Response: Hola!

Ghost perception is a cut above your average gifts, I suppose! And thank goodness you found the humour okay! I have a really dorky sense of humour!

I drink out of the carton as well, so Albus, Chris, and I are all on the same page with that! And concerning Cassandra - you thought it was nonsense? Don't be too quick to dismiss...

I have problems with flow, so thank you for pointing that out. I endeavour to improve with concentrated effort, practise, and time! I don't know what I was thinking with malls - I'm Australian - we say shopping centres, too. I blame a reread of Nancy Drew for that!

Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #10, by TheHouseElfWhen the Axe Fell: When the Axe Fell

11th April 2013:
Hey there, here from the review tag!

Oh my this was...chilling :P The mood you set was absolutely perfect for an execution. Your descriptions were beautiful too, you completely made me believe that this was happening right now, especially with the crowd. I felt transported back to the medieval times, and the bad part of that epoch... *shudders*

The counting, oh gosh, you had me feeling my neck! I just, that was horrifying, so gory :D You made me freaked out and a little bit scared and if a story can make its readers feel, then it's a good one ;)

Absolutely loved this one shot and I'm so thankful I was after you at the review tag :D Adding to the favs!


Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad you found it chilling! I did want to make people feel with this story and the aspect of the crowd baying for blood was one of the things I really wanted to get across. It always makes me feel quite horrified when I think about executions as entertainment, and I always think that must have made it an even more horrible way to die.

The counting was part of the idea that just popped into my head, but it's nice to hear that it was effective!

Thank you for such a lovely review and for adding this to your favourites!

nott theodore :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by TheHouseElfReason to Fight: La Faiseuse d'Anges

10th April 2013:
Oh Val! What can I say? Another beautiful chapter! WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME?!

Your descriptions are just brilliant, they're original and I can immediately see everything that you are describing to me. I feel as if I am there, in France, in the war. You have a talent my dear ;)

Your characterisations are great too. We got to see some friction in the group which made it all the more realistic to me, nothing is ever plain sailing. And Johanna's flashback, oh gawsh, I just want to squish the woman and tell her that she's going to be alright and gah! I feel like curling up into a ball and crying, poor woman.

The death of the mayor was well written, especially with everyone turning away and high tailing it out of the area as soon as possible as you'd expect them to do- it wasn't easy killing him :P I feel though that it was a bit short in comparison to the chapter and it was all over very quickly... apart from that, amazing!

I cannot tell you how much I am addicted to this story! You'd better get that 4th chapter out soon or I'm coming for you Val...

Author's Response: I am responding to this even though I have five other reviews waiting because seriously ALL OF THE FEELS.

Psh, I attempt to be awesome only because there are people like you who make me want to improve.

I'm so glad you like the description! I'm actually having a lot of fun trying to imagine them in my head, and it's great to hear that it goes from my head to the screen without sounding off.

Nope, plain sailing does not exist here, and this is just the beginning.

Johanna needs all the squishes she can get, though she's made of stronger stuff than it would it seem! (Simon is going to be needing many squishes too after you read the next chapter.)

I am so relieved you liked the scene with the mayor -- I'm completely oblivious to the quality of an action/tension scene, so I didn't know how it was going to work out... And I will go and reread to see how I can edit, but right now it's half past two in the morning and I keep pressing the wrong keys on my keyboard, so I think it's better if I wait until later today.

*hides* Chapter four is about a third written up so far, expect it fairly soon! After that I'm on holiday, so I'm going to try and get lots of prewritten chapters.


 Report Review

Review #12, by TheHouseElfA Lightness: not quite her name

5th April 2013:
Hi teh! Here from the review tag ;)

Wow. Just wow. This was an absolutely beautifully written one-shot! Your descriptions are consistently flawless within your work. They're original and grasp the reader. I see what Lavender is seeing with such clarity that if I didn't know that this was a piece of fiction, I wouldn't have doubted whether or not this is real.

I also loved how you went through Lavender's life from her youth to the Battle of Hogwarts. I've never liked her that much as a character, she's always seemed too much of an airhead for me, but you portrayed her as a flawed character who could never get anything right. Yes, she made fun of people, but she just wanted to be happy. You made me see her in another light which is the beauty of fanfiction ;)

I hate Viola with abundant vigour :P She's much too much like my little sister. Perfect in the eyes of adults, but as soon as their backs are turned she turns into something else altogether. The scene with the bookshelf made me really pity Lavender, I was actually spurring her on, willing her not to break in the face of the bully :P

The friendship between Parvati and Lavender is so wonderfully written. The best of friends, joint at the hip, so much so that even Seamus was starting to recognise! I also loved the relationship between Lavender and Padma. You wrote it so delicately and soft as innocent teenage romances often are. Slash can be hard to write, but you wrote it so beautifully! And again, I never questioned that Lavender/Padma was non canon, it just seems to fit.

I also loved the ending. Lavender and Padma's relationship cracking slightly as you'd expect it to in the face of a war. The way you wrote Lavender's death was again, well written and a tear jerker.

Great job! Adding to the favorites ;)


Author's Response: HAI AISHA


Thanks for your absolutely lovely glowing review!

I never really cared for Lavender until I began writing this story. Then I started noticing her. That's why I love writing so much; it makes me notice things and people. Anyway.

*blush* I secretly love it when people compliment me on my descriptions :D So thank you so much! I'm really flattered and pleased that you enjoy them, and to mention that Lavender has been portrayed with "such clarity"! Gah akshdljkhpppqewiurcnjl :DDD

This isn't a coherent review response at all sorry.

Anyway, this story is partly meant to reflect the different relationships in Lav Lav's life - from family relationships to friendships to infatuations to something more to something not so much anymore. I really wanted Lavender/Padma to work out seamlessly but it didn't feel realistic to me. Because Lavender got a bit out of hand and started doing her own thing in my head and before I knew it their relationship was certainly weakening. So I'm glad you found that realistic :)

Thanks for favouriting this! And for leaving this amazing review ♥ You've made my night!


 Report Review

Review #13, by TheHouseElfetc. etc. (and life goes on): Bare-Knuckled Heartbreaking

25th March 2013:
GINA! Yay, another chapter!

Oh dear God, this was absolute gold dear :D I loved the awkwardness at the beginning, I mean, come on, it was Clemence and Albus having sex for the first time, it had to be as awkward as... :P I also loved how Clemence is starting to show that she cares, not that she'd outright admit it, but hey? It's progress ;)

I loved the scene in the Great Hall too! Team Dom and Team Rose fighting again, oh dear, when is their petty argument ever going to end? (I hope it doesn't anytime soon though, it's entertaining :P) I would have paid to have been there throwing sausage rolls. And the kiss between Clemence and Albus! With any other pair, it would have been overly cliche, but this is Clemence and PDA isn't her thing and oh, I loved it :D And Appy, mwahaha, is it bad that I'm all 'take that, b- sucker!'? Team Clemence, ftw! Mustard girl steals the chapter though :P

Argh, loved this chapter dear, and don't worry about the long wait, it was worth it xD And congrats on the first sex scene/morning after- is that something I should be congratulating? Oh well :P


Author's Response: I was totally struggling with character growth in first person, especially with a character like Clemence, because the entire time I was thinking 'Well, she does care in a sense, but she won't ever admit it or see it that way, so how do I show it if she doesn't even know it or interpret her actions as anything close to caring???'

BAHA now that you mention it, I would've paid to throw around sausage rolls too. The other thing I love about writing that kiss is that there's so much other meaning behind it (in those ginormous paragraphs), and that it becomes not about the kiss but about something to prove. And then the school gets to go to hell all over again 8D

♥ only in writing do you research how to kill people with a soda can and congratulate people on sex scenes!

 Report Review

Review #14, by TheHouseElfThe Steps to Insanity : Prologue

25th March 2013:
Hey Jami!

Whoa. Just whoa. That was very dark! You have completely set the mood for what I'm sure will be an interesting look into the insane and crazy thing that is the mind of Bellatrix Lestrange. You've written her beautifully before, and I'm sure you'll write her just as well in this with her as the central focus- maybe even more so? I loved how you described the blood purity issue, as taking back what is rightfully owned by the purebloods. Of course, as good, wholesome people, we don't agree with that :P But we hear this other side of the argument that is rarely portrayed, and Bellatrix really believes in it with all her corrupt, marred soul. It sounds as if she's been indoctrinated since birth, which she probably was, and I find that a pity, that someone who could have been magnificent went so far astray.

I also loved how Bellatrix was speaking to herself, though she was also addressing the reader at the same time. I felt bad, accused, as if I was Bellatrix. It just emphasised for me the dark tone that you set so gloriously ;)

Keep it up dear!

Author's Response: Hi darling ♥

Bellatrix is a character I can't get enough of. One of the most recent BTF chapters includes a lot of her, and then she just stuck in my brain. I've been working on ideas for her short story for a while, so it felt like the perfect time to start it! I'm so excited that the darkness set the tone for it. And that you enjoyed seeing the other side of the fence!

Like you said, we as non death eater people with hearts understand it's not right to want to kill someone because of their blood status, but whatever should be in Bellatrix's brain making her understand that isn't there. I'm definitely going to have fun with this one :P. *rubs hands together along with evil cackling*

Thank you again m'dear!

 Report Review

Review #15, by TheHouseElfBefore They Fall: Secrets Surrounding Us

23rd March 2013:
Hey Jami! back again :D

Omg, I love your Bellatrix. She's a woman who's sole purpose on this earth is to please her insane master, which makes her a much more volatile character, I love it :P The desperation that seeps into her voice and actions when Voldemort threatens to take away her mark, oh lord help whoever he pits against her...

I also love the relationship developing between Sirius and Lily. Clearly something happened (something that's going to be addressed in the upcoming chapters? Hmn?) on the night that Lily's parents died, something that drew them closer together. This is apparent in the part where Sirius is taking food for Lily which I found incredibly sweet :D

I also liked how you're showing James mature, evident when he decides not to follow Alrek and Lily around ;) It's quite sad that the transfer isn't accepted straight away, but they're the marauders, they're so tight knit it's going to be hard for them to adjust to a new dorm mate.

But the thing I loved the most was your characterisation of Dumbledore, you have him down to a tee that it's hard to not think of what you're writing as something that JK wrote. Love it :D

Author's Response: Hiii! You're back you're back! I'm so sorry I again I wasn't able to leave another review today :(. I just wouldn't be able to focus the way I want to with all this family around making me crazy. Give me my apartment back! Eh hem. Sorry about that :P

Yes yes! What happened the night of Lily's parents' death and how Sirius is involved will absolutely be addressed. Dun dun dunn.

I thought it was fun trying to get James to resist following the group, too! They wouldn't accept someone new right away, silly Marauders! Though maybe there's more to him than meets the eye ;)

I'm so happy you like Dumbledore! Your compliments have just turned me to mush ♥ I don't even know how I'm able to type!

Thank you so much ♥

 Report Review

Review #16, by TheHouseElfYellow: Chapter VIII

23rd March 2013:
Hi Amanda, guess what? I'm back again!

I want to just cuddle grieving!Cedric :P And argh, he spoke, dear God! I'm worried now, I hope that's not the end of 'Yellow' just yet... I loved though how Cedric's first words were "It's a war.", you'd have thought he'd have noticed by now :P I joke ;) I also liked the part where Miriam asked about Cedric's wand, I wonder if she'll ever catch onto the fact that he has it with him? I hope she doesn't confiscate it all over again, the poor guy just got his voice back! And the communication with Oliver at the end- does that mean we get to see some more Wood in the coming chapters? I wish it does ;)

Girl, you have me hooked with this story :P

Author's Response: Haha, good, he needs a cuddle! I'm sort of hoping that the realization of his voice returning will take away from the awkwardness between them somewhat.

I think Miriam knows more than she's letting on, but hopefully she'll let it be and allow Cedric and Cho to keep working on what is best for Cedric's recovery.

Oliver will pop up again. I'm glad you like him!

Thanks for your fantastic review :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by TheHouseElfYellow: Chapter VII

23rd March 2013:
Hey Amanda! Gah I loved this chapter :D I feel quite useless, leaving gushing reviews without the hint of a critique, but I cannot fault you at all :P I loved the kiss between Cedric and Cho, it was cute, awkward and completely realistic ;) I laughed at the part where Cedric had to write down an "I'm sorry." instead of speaking it. But he's getting better! Oliver's potion is working, yay :D I also loved the part between Cedric, Seamus and Dean. No war is without its casualties, and although it's depressing to hear that Neville won't be making an appearance, it adds realism and makes me buy into the whole WWII situation even more.

Going on to chapter 8 now :D

Author's Response: Hi Aisha, thanks for stopping by :)

That's okay; I love gushing reviews. If you ever do have critique, please don't hesitate to drop it in the box, but if not, I can't complain! Haha.

I liked the awkward kiss. I felt like it would be this moment-by-moment accidental thing. The situation isn't conducive to planning or overt romantic gestures. Poor Cedric probably felt like it was the most natural thing in the world to cross the boundary in their building friendship and thank her for her compassion.

It's great that you liked the introduction of Cedric's fellow soldiers. The purpose there was definitely to dwell on the grim reality of war and to pause for a moment and think about how Neville won't return to Hogwarts and finish up his schooling when it's all over.

Thanks for your sweet review :)


 Report Review

Review #18, by TheHouseElfBefore They Fall: Head Boy and Girl

21st March 2013:
Hey Jami, here with another review :D

I loved this chapter, oh my. I loved how you didn't have Lily gushing over James in the 3rd chapter so soon after her parent's deaths which can be annoyingly common in ff :P She still had the ol' palpitations of the heart which she overruled with her head, something that I'd expect her to do since she's still grieving :D

Yay for Frank Longbottom! I wish you'd do a one-shot about that fateful day that Frank drove away the DADA Professor in humiliation :P And McGonagall's sense of authoritarian humour that makes you want to laugh and quail in your boots- fantastic ;)

I loved how you wrote the whole Head Dorms situation. Usually you see this in Dramione, where Draco and Hermione go into their joint dorms and get it on the same night :P So unrealistic, and so OOC. But like this, I could see it happening, I mean, come on, it's Lily and James, of course they're going to have an argument. I also loved how James' portrait was overbearing too, that made me laugh like an idiot!

One thing that I was a little dubious over, I thought that James got a little too angry and caustic fast. I think he'd still be mindful of the pain that Lily's feeling and that he'd be more rejected than angry, but hey, that's just my take on it :D

I loved though how James went running to the Marauders after the fight, that's something that seems so integral to his character, his reliance on his friends. Without them, would he be so great? I think not :P

Another great chappie dear

Author's Response: Yay! Seeing your name on a new review makes my so happy ♥

Hahaah that would be quite a fun one shot to write! After Before They Fall and book two are all said and done, I'll have to have a short story collection about all those 'missed moments' that we never got to see :P

I really struggled with whether or not to do Heads' Dorms. Wealthier boarding schools do have separate dorms for the head girl and head boy, so I wanted to stick with tradition but definitely didn't want it to seem like that's why they're going to get together. I'm so happy you liked it, though.

I think James is more angry about the fact that Lily thinks that's what he thinks... if that makes sense. Like it insulted him that she thought he needed to be told that. But I just went back over, and it doesn't do an awesome job of showing that. I'll have to edit that up a bit! Thank you for pointing that out!

Thank you so much for your lovely reviews and feedback, m'dear ♥

 Report Review

Review #19, by TheHouseElfBefore They Fall: Hogwarts Express

20th March 2013:
Hey Jami, here with another review!

Again, I loved the beginning of this chapter! The short scenes with Lily just epitomises how she's crumbling inside, the descriptions, yet again, as glorious as ever. I also liked the yearning Lily has for her sister, the yearning for an older family member to tell her 'everything will be alright', it truly is heartbreaking to read.

Oh my, Mrs Potter is a crafty one, isn't she! Wow, pudding works every time, doesn't it just? I love the mother/son relationship her and James have going on, its really cuddly, fuzzy and warm, it's great :P I also liked the Marauders relationship beginning to be developed, the silent communication. And the mention of the Longbottoms! Ah, doesn't everyone just love the Longbottoms!

Oh, that Violet is quite self-absorbed, isn't she? She seems like a character that isn't evil, just a little conceited :P I have a feeling we'll see more of her and her arrogance...

I loved the Jily going on, the comforting- of course it's sad that Lily's parents are dead, but hey, it means Jily! I liked Lily's resolution at the end, her determination to be okay. It just seems so in character, otherwise she wouldn't be a Gryffindor would she?

Another great chappie Jami :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Sorry for taking so long on this response :(. Family just came into town Friday night, and they're killing me. Haha. I'm going to be at work tomorrow though (thank god) and can't wait to finally have time to read another of your chapters!

You're completely correct about Violet. She's not evil at all, she's just a sixteen year old girl who's a bit too full of herself and likes to cause drama. I'm sure we all know one of those ourselves :P

I'm so happy you liked that it ended with a bit of her determination. Exactly like you said, that's what makes her a Gryffindor!

Thank you so much for your awesome reviews ♥ sorry again for the response wait time :(. But I love being able to read through them again ♥

 Report Review

Review #20, by TheHouseElfBefore They Fall: Sirius Black

20th March 2013:
Hey Jami! Here with the first of many, many, many reviews :P I've been meaning to read 'Before They Fall' for ages, so now's the prime opportunity to start, right?

I loved the beginning, it's just so ominous and sets the tone for the rest of the chapter. Your descriptions are beautiful, the wording is perfect and I can just see Cokeworth before my eyes.

I love the worry that James has for Sirius, it just clearly shows their friendship when he's wringing his hands and pleading with his parents, I just love it. I also loved Mrs Potter's worry too- Sirius is as much a part of the Potter family as James, a notion that we get from canon and from you :D

As sad as the event was, I loved how you set up the death of Lily's parents. Lily's reactions are genuine, she barely speaks and she's distraught, how you'd expect a 17 year old girl to act after the death of her mum and dad. I can't wait to read on and see how they died- that just sounded really morbid and cold :P I didn't mean it like that!

Just a little picky notes- you used the word 'cognizant' whereas in Britain its spelt 'cognisant', you rarely ever use the letter 'z' in words if you're British ;) Also, we don't have 'blocks' either, we have plenty of winding and crooked roads over here so we can't :P You can just say streets as a replacement.

Also, I don't think, correct me if I'm wrong, that Cokeworth is near London, where the Black house is. I was just wondering how Sirius knew where Lily's house was? That's just something that I picked up on, nothing too major :D

I'm going to read on dear- I do have 23 chapters to catch up on :P Great job!

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much for stopping by!!

I'm really happy you're enjoying this so far. These first three chapters aren't my favorites in compared to the newer ones, and my writing has gotten much smoother (yes, I'm trying to convince you to continue :P). Oh my gosh, you think that's morbid - about 8 chapters from now we find out the full story to the Evans death and I LOVED WRITING it. We're clearly just two morbid peas in a pod :P.

I'll warn you, I don't often change the spelling to British :(. I hope that doesn't bother you. I do try and watch my word choice carefully, and there are some areas where a word will be spelled the British way from when I had a beta who was Australian, but I don't ever do it. It's too hard for me. Blame my English teachers :P!

So... I can't exactly tell you how Sirius knew where Lily's house was. Don't worry, there's nothing romantic hidden between them, but there is a secret in there. Also, I set this up in my head so the Potter's house is near Lily's in Cokeworth, so they live close to one another. There's no canon evidence of that, it was to suit something else in the works. Hehe. I feel so mysterious right now.

Thank you for pointing that out about the blocks! I had no idea! I'll reword that to make it street instead :)!

Thank you so much for your awesome review! If you do decide to continue, I hope you like it ♥ Also, I don't expect anyone to review 23 straight chapters. If you do want to continue, please don't feel obligated to review them all. Haha. ♥.

 Report Review

Review #21, by TheHouseElfWaiting Room: Green Eyes Against Blinding White

17th March 2013:
Hey Dan! Here from the review tag :D

I am an absolute complete sucker for Jily. Like, they are my favourite ship, EVER- capitals equals serious :P So, when I saw this, I just clicked the link ;) This is so beautifully written, I loved the description of the white, endless white waiting room, it just rung in my head, and I also loved the use of profanities, you didn't go overboard but you used enough to make the reader certain as to how James is deteriorating inside.

James and Lily's story is a tragedy, and this one shot just epitomises that tragedy. I have to admit, I was crying a heck of a lot reading this, even now thinking about this just makes me want to cry myself to sleep :P The most evocative parts of this has to be when James denies Peter's treachery, James' realisation that Sirius is going to be blames and the part where James counts to ten. Just absolutely beautiful.

I don't know what else to say, except great job! Yeah, well done for making a girl cry, how could you? Sorry if this is incoherent, I was just blubbering a few minutes ago :P Adding this to the favs ;)


Author's Response: Hi, there!

I'm really glad that you liked the way I wrote this. I had the idea in my head for a while, and it made for a good break in between chapters of Detox.

As much as I hate making anybody cry, I'm really glad that you felt such a strong connection with James and Lily. I thought a lot about what they two of them would talk about immediately after their deaths, what their big anxieties would be and what they might think would happen to Harry after they were gone. I found a lot of sad stuff there, but with a few uplifting things.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #22, by TheHouseElfPicture: One

12th March 2013:
Hi! Here from the review tag over at the forums :D Oh my, this is wonderful! I loved the small sections and the structure of this, it suited the one shot perfectly, pieces of Colin's life slowly put together. Colin is a character who is so easily gleaned over, but in this, you really let us as readers explore his personality. What I loved more was how you showed us what he was like by giving us glimpses, how he can dance and his smile, rather than telling us what he's like which can be very boring. Beautifully written, the descriptions of the paint and the colours are amazing and it all just flows together. This is really such an evocative piece, the tragedy of the loss of Luna's love and the loss of potential life is striking and made me tear :P

Great job! Definitely one for the favourites ;)


Author's Response: Hi back! :)

I'm glad you liked the way I wrote this, as it was a new sort of style for me, and I was a bit worried about it going wrong!

Since discovering the forums, I have become obsessed with minor characters such as Lavender and Colin and the like! They just interest me so much, so this was a rather fun piece to write!

Thank you so much! This review has made my day :D

 Report Review

Review #23, by TheHouseElfAgainst All Odds: The First Meeting

11th March 2013:
Hey Kiana, here for our review swap!

This is just amazing :D I love Tonks, your characterisation of her is wonderful, especially the optimism with which she sees everything, it's so typically Tonks, y'know?

I loved your descriptions too! That part about London, and the gum, and the gangstas... damn, it made me laugh out loud, it's so true :P The hoodied guys sounds like my friend a lot, mysterious...

I also loved all of the other characters, I know how hard it is to write Dumbledore, he's a tricky one, but you have him down to a tee ;)

I generally don't read Hogwarts fics since I just adore the way JK writes them, but this is definitely one that I can get hooked on!

Thanks for the swap and letting me discover a glorious story :D


Author's Response: Hi Aisha!

Wah! I'm so glad that you loved Tonks, as I love her to, and she's such a cool character, I was really worried about messing her up, but I'm so glad that you liked her :D

Haha I'm glad the descriptions of London, I just imagined that Grimmauld Place wouldn't be set in the nicest parts of it ;D

I'm glad that you liked the other characters too, especially Dumbledore, as he has all these little quirks, as it's so hard trying to remember them all!

I don't generally read Hogwarts fics either, and the I've only written a couple of one-shots in this era, so I'm glad that you liked it!

Thank you for a lovely review,

-Kiana :D

 Report Review

Review #24, by TheHouseElfMasquerade: Rosenelle Allen: And So It Begins

11th March 2013:
Hey there! Here for our little review swap :D

I really pity Anna, the scene where her parents are kicking her out is just so evocative, I love it :P I feel as if she's a character who, on the outside, is a tough, devil's advocate who doesn't care, but on the inside, she's really just a girl. The plot is mysterious at the moment, and that's how you want it right now, just enough information to keep the reader enticed ;) I want to find out more about Anna's abilities as a seer and everything else, like why seers are being hunted... I loved your descriptions at the beginning as well, they were lovely to read.

Just a quick note, read over your work, there are a few minor typos, just to iron those out ;)

Author's Response: Hey your welcome!

Im glad you liked the story! I'll go look at the minor errors and get rid of them =) thanks for mentioning them out!

 Report Review

Review #25, by TheHouseElfThe Calendar Girls: Celebrating

11th March 2013:
Hey Val!

I love the closeness of the Seasons family :D It's so clear in how they sit down for Christmas dinner together and how Summer, Fern and Ivy don't get jealous when Autumn is asked to be Yuna's godmother. (Can I just say I did laugh out loud when you said Roger was gay :P I couldn't help but think it was all Fleur's fault...) I also loved the friendship between the girl's flourishing, as well as the obvious Ravenclaw-ness of the four. I'd love to read more and see the character's developing. The divorce of Bill and Fleur was well done, it wasn't completely unbelievable and it just goes to show, even if you are a Weasley, married life is tough. Oh, and I want to see more riddles, I can never get them right ;) And I want to know what that green light is... I'll read on, and I'll review all the chapters in the coming days :D

Author's Response: Hello you :)

I'm so glad you like the Seasons and their family - I really wanted them to come across as tight-knit and realistic.

No, that's not Fleur's fault! In my head, Fleur accepted to go out with him to cover up, if you really want to know...

There will be more riddles, and you find out what the green light is in the next chapter.

Thank you for your review Aisha :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>