Reading Reviews From Member: Broken Butterfly
  
100 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Broken ButterflyThe Broken Butterfly: The Broken Butterfly

19th July 2013:
Great Job. Thanks for your submission to The No Happy Ending Challenge. I like how Cho feels through this, much different than how The the movie portrays her to be. Great Work. Stay tuned for results.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I tried to portray Cho as everyone thought she was in the book. In the movie she just seemed to cry a lot... Thanks again and I shall wait patiently for the results.
XOXOXOXOXOX,
LLG


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Review #2, by Broken ButterflyTear Stained Heart: Scene Five

19th July 2013:
WOW> That is all I have to say about this. It is just wonderfully amazing. I really like how the story begins on a happier note, marriage and Pregnancy and then comes crashing down for a really realistic reason. The Idea of giving Ron a Brain tumor is just really creative because while its realistic, it something people going around saying will never happen to them... The story really showed how imperfect life really is and how thinking that it is will give you a rude awakening you would rather not have had. I love Ron's POV in this because it really gave an aspect to the story that wouldn't be there without it. Thanks for submitting this to the No Happy Ending Challenge... stay tuned for the results coming up soon.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for that review! I was left a little speechless the first time I read it =)

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Review #3, by Broken ButterflyHaunted: Secrets

15th July 2013:
Thanks for your submission to the no happy Ending Challenge.

I love how this is about Peter! How clever since obviously his betrayal is the whole basis of sadness in the actual books. I really liked the creative style of this how you fill in details that are missing in the books as to why he would have made the betrayal he did. I also really appreciate how you showed how much his choice Haunted him in the end. Great Job.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it, and I really appreciate the compliments on my writing style. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this story - I enjoyed participating in the challenge!

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Review #4, by Broken ButterflyI've Already Walked Away: I've Already Walked Away

15th July 2013:
Thanks for your submission to the no happy ending challenge. I wish this wasn't so short, ans believe me that is saying something for a next-gen to me, because I liked it. I liked the plot , but I would have liked more description to visualize the scene in my head. Otherwise I think Characterization is a strong highlight in this. Good work.

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Review #5, by Broken ButterflyPurple: Purple

15th July 2013:
Thanks for submitting this entry in the No happy ending challenge. This is well written. It flows very well, and I like how the scenes jump between years that Marlene and Sirius would have known each other. This is very melancholy, and I love it.

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Review #6, by Broken ButterflyCertain Dark Things: .

15th July 2013:
Thank you for your submission to the No Happy ending Challenge. This is really well written. Flow and word choice really awed me in this and are the highlights of the whole theme, and plot is right behind it. I really enjoyed reading this and it was sad but it flowed so well that the sadness is beautiful.

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Review #7, by Broken ButterflyThe Girl from Slytherin : The Seer

29th June 2013:
Sorry for teh long delay:

I loved it. It was a great prediction that the seer made to Tor and I liek the way Tor handled it. It made me sad that terry didn't even read teh note... but well I guess eh had teh right. Great work, Can't wait to ead on.

Author's Response: Hi! :) I'm glad you liked the prediction, and Tor's reaction. It was some not-so-subtle foreshadowing on my part! And Terry's a good guy, you know he'll come around! Thank you for reading and reviewing, and your kind and encouraging words! :D

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Review #8, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: My Father

29th June 2013:
Here I am Finally with my sincearest Apologie as to the long wait for this requested review:

I loved it. It was teh perfect chemistry for a father daughter relationship, and The description at the start was awesome. I could really see a mental picture.

The only thing I would mention is taht description does wane throughout the chapter and towards teh middle I lose teh mental image, granted, I get wrapped up in the rest of the story, but I suggest that you add in bits of description between dialougue

Author's Response: Hi! Don't worry at all about the wait, I don't mind at all :)

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked the descriptions and their father-daughter relationship. I will try to add some more description in to break it up a bit :)

Thank you again for the review!


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Review #9, by Broken ButterflyThe Girl from Slytherin : The Headmaster

5th June 2013:
Lovely chapter, Sorry for the long wait. I like the shift of people's thoughts in this chapter. I wonder how Terry will react to the note, I suppose he has everything to be angry about, but I still hope that he forgives Tor. I like how Albus puts her name on the list of potential death eaters because that is what she is, and yet what she is doing feels wrong. I hope that she and her Slytherin friends can develop friendships that are healthier and show them all the other side.

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked this chapter, and the switching in perspectives. I loved switching it up like that, and am glad it was enjoyable and not too confusing. Dumbledore especially was a lot of fun!

I'm glad you're hoping these things and asking these questions while reading the story, it makes me happy! :D Thank you for yet another wonderful review! :)


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Review #10, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: Was It?

5th June 2013:
Yet another lovely chapter! I really likw the reference to Angeline wanting sleep, an dthen the fight Bri has with Lee over her greiving. I think that Paisley is really good for her to be around, she seems to balance out the storm that Bri is going through.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks very much :) I hope the fight wasn't too unrealistic. Thank you again!

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Review #11, by Broken ButterflyThe Girl from Slytherin : The Horror

1st June 2013:
And The truth comes out. Tor reaction to the knowledge that terry is pureblood is I feel logical even if it is dissapointing. I wnt so badly for tor to be more than what her lineage lays out for her to be, and yet the realization that Boot is Muggleborn, and she reacts just as would be expected as a pureblood. What I like about this is that you did capture a realistic reaction from Tor and Terry from this and displayed it very well. Tor isn't yet at the development that she could easily let something to that huge extent just go, especially because of how she was rasied and how much she cares about her family. Though I can also tell that she really cares about Terry as well and I see teh inner turmoil that she is facing. This was a great chapter! See you soon.

Author's Response: Hello! :) Yes, the truth is finally out! I think Tor suspected something was up all along, to be honest, but now that it's out in the open she can't pretend anymore. I'm glad you thought her reaction made sense, and that you're rooting for her to change! :)

You're perfectly right, Tor has been raised a certain way and it takes a lot for her to follow her emotions and to stop thinking rationally. I'm glad you liked the inner turmoil- lots more coming! - and the chapter itself. Thank you so much for a wonderful review, as ever! :)


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Review #12, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: The Hermit, Part 1

1st June 2013:
OH Good chapter. I loved teh description of teh mud scene with angelina in the beggining! The chapter developed very nicely and I do not have even one critique to give you. Keep it up, see you soon BB

Author's Response: Thank you very much! :) I'm glad you think I couldn't improve it :) Thank you!

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Review #13, by Broken ButterflyThe Seams: A Storm Is Coming

1st June 2013:
Hi Broken Butterfly here with your requested review.

This is very interesting. I'm looking forward to reading more.

The Plot is captivating and I can safely say nothing I have ever read before which, to me, adds a benefit to the story and plot itself. I really like the title to the chapter because it foreshadows the plot of the story and the events of the chapter really well.

There are a couple of plots that are a bit confusing to understand, mainly the letter at the end of the chapter. I think after a couple of reads I do understand the point of the letter, but I still don't like how it does not have one clear sentence in it. I think I know the reasn why this was intentionally done, and it does make sense, but from a readers perspective, I suggest changing it. Also You jump from the death of penelope to Reynold being 14, and I think that you could add in a bit more detail between the two scenes.

As to characterization, I'm not familiar with the characters, so I can't say if tehy seem canon or not, if that is the approch you are going for. What I can say, is that I like the characters and the way you described them. Penelope does seem realistic, as does Ursula.

I do think that the chapter will capture readers interest. It Has captured mine and I look forward to reading more. Please consider re-requesting for chapter 2.

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for reviewing!

I'm glad you found this interesting! It's always one of my intentions to keep anything I write interesting so that readers will keep coming back for more!

The letter is not supposed to be clear - it's part of the mystery of the curse. Perhaps I could add more detail - I'll see what I can do about that.

Yes, they're not familiar, so I'm glad you think they're realistic and you like them!

I'm glad you liked this chapter even if you were a bit confused! This story is going to be following two different timelines, so it's going to be a bit like a puzzle. It will all come together soon!

Thank you so much for the review! :)


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Review #14, by Broken ButterflyThe Girl from Slytherin : The Detention

31st May 2013:
A very wonderful chapter! I like Tor remembering tehr elationship she had with Daphne when they were children. I also really enjoyed the fight between theo and Draco and how she taled them down. As to Snape well, you write him differntly than what i'm used to reading but then this is from a canon slytherin's pov as well, and it interesting. Loving everything as always, looking forward to more. See you soon.

Author's Response: Hi! :) I'm glad you liked the relationship and tensions between Daphne and Tor, I based their memories a little on me and my sister! I'm glad you liked the confrontation and how Tor got involved, that was quite brave of her and petty of the boys, don't you think? And yes, Snape is a little nicer to Tor and the others than the Harry, but I hope he still seemed canon. Thank you very much for another wonderful review, you're the best! :D

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Review #15, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: The Storm

30th May 2013:
Great Chapter, great ending. I like the part about the storm and the magic bubble that protected teh girls from the rain. Good work, see you again soon.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much! :) I'm glad you're still enjoying it.

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Review #16, by Broken ButterflyLook Again: R.L.

30th May 2013:
Great chapter. I never expected Love to me an emotion that would be associated with bella and RL but you managed it beautifully. Characterization was good in here and I actully feel a hint of sorrow for R.L. Great job.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I definitely think it's assumed that the relationship between Bella and Rodolphus was loveless, so it was fun to mix that up a little bit.

Thanks so much for reviewing this!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #17, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: Hallowe'en

30th May 2013:
I do like the dream and tarort cards, it is interesting. Charcaterization is good. I like how you developed the scene of teh fat lady gone missing seeing as, the scene wasn't very long in the books or movies, but it was the center of this chapter. Great work.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm still glad you're liking it, and that you think my characterisation is good! :) Thank you!

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Review #18, by Broken ButterflyFalling into Darkness: Draco Malfoy

29th May 2013:
Interesting. I like it. I will say however that The start of teh chapter made it seem like it was the end of the seventh year, not after 6th year. I would consider revising that, Otherwise characterization, and flow is really good. I really think that you could run with this and write about the falling of each death eater to darkness. Good work.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

This story begins just after the battle in the Department of Mysteries, which was at the end of the OOTP.

It will be interesting deciding when each of the dark wizards/witches became dark.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Broken ButterflyThe Girl from Slytherin : The Unknown

28th May 2013:
Another great Chapter! As always I'm really empathsing with Tor, and I wonder if Portrait Anne happens to be my favorite Queen in all History: Anne Bolyen, but don't answer that i want to figure it out for myself. Anyways, a couple of grammar mistakes I would suggest fixing, and otherwide great plot. Its keeping me on my toes. See you soon for chapter 11.

Author's Response: Hi! :) I'm so glad you liked the chapter, and hmm, interesting hypothesis! :P I'll keep an eye out for those grammar mistakes when I go back and re-edit. Thank you very much for another kind review! :D

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Review #20, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: Draught of Peace

28th May 2013:
Very good Chapter! I like how you describe the potions lesson as it unfolds. I could literally feel the embaressment raidiating off of Bri when snape told her she made the wrong potions. I laughed at the scene when she described Gearge being cute even with his hair sticking up, I thought that was a great way to describe the scene. I am really enjoying this. looking worward to your next request.

Author's Response: Hi :) Aw, I'm so glad you've grown to really enjoy it, thank you so much for the review!

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Review #21, by Broken ButterflyLook Again: D.M.

28th May 2013:
Great Characterization and plot. I really like how Draco hates where is is and how he is being treated but still reminiscs in what it felt like to have power. This is really good. Nice that Potter came to save him too.

Author's Response: Draco was a really fun character to play with, and I thought that it would only be fitting that Harry comes to save him, just because it's yet another way that Harry manages to unintentionally humiliate Draco. Thanks for reviewing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #22, by Broken ButterflyWe Are Family: one more offense

28th May 2013:
Hi here with your requested review.
I think this is pretty good. It is easy to understand, but there are parts where I wonder what is happening or why rose feels teh way she feels. Such as when the person helps her to not fall, is that scorpius her husband or somebody else? And where is Draco through all of this if Malfoy Manor is so desserted. I really liked the scene about teh mirage at the beggining. This is good, but be careful you do have a lot of little grammar mistakes to fix up.

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Review #23, by Broken ButterflyFalling into Darkness: Gellert Grindelwald

28th May 2013:
Interesting plotline. I love the description in here, it brings the scene to life. I'm really not sure what I think about the stuffed penquine but I guess that was teh point of The Challenge. I like your characters here, very good work.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

For the challenge, the setting, a protagonist, an antagonist and a thing was chosen from separate lists. I chose the penguin first - I thought it would be interesting to write a story around a penguin.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #24, by Broken ButterflyThe Joker and Her: Paisley Hamilton

25th May 2013:
Interesting. I like the scene and symbolisim of the Tarot card. Its a good chapter, and you are setting up a good romance. I like how it progesses slowly, starting a friends and moving towards something more, and that it doesn't rush the feelings. that is hard to do, and you are pulling it off very nicely.

Author's Response: Hi! Yeah, it's important to me that the romance is realistic! Thank you very much again!

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Review #25, by Broken ButterflyThe Worst: Decisions and Discoveries

25th May 2013:
Great chapter. Dom is turning into a little slueth. I like how Teddy is really supportive of her and so is her family. Description once again is really good in here, and characterization seems to make sense to me at least. Great work!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for your lovely review. Haha Dom is turning into a sleuth for sure xD Teddy and her family are her only support, yes. I am glad you find the description good and the characterisation makes sense. Thank you!

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