This is awesome, as always! You're an incredible writer, and this is such a fantastic set of characters. Can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you so much! So happy you're on board with it! Hope you like the rest :) Report Review
Your writing is really good and easy to read. I'm intrigued. I want to read more. Keep at it! Report Review
First review of Chapter 53?
So, important things first: Congratulations on getting married! My wedding was awesome, but being married is even better. Enjoy it!
I love the chapter b/c you see the whole range of James's emotions, and yet everything hangs together perfectly and seems in character. The way you understand James is amazing. You write things in ways that never would have occurred to me, but my reaction always is, yup, that's EXACTLY what James would do. That's exactly how James would react to Bink's tryout. That's exactly what James would do to try to feel better / forget.
It's awesome. As always.
(1) “When the Code told you not to date Avery, what did you do?”
I paused. “Snog buddies?”
She slapped the side of my face. “You found a way around it.”
(I continue to love Lily.)
(2) I was going to have to tell Avery to find it and destroy it using whatever means necessary. I was even willing to supply mutant animals or laser guns. I was leaning more toward laser guns, though, because I had a few other uses for those.
(I can think of more uses for mutant animals, personnally, but I can understand the contrary view.)
(3) The best part? The Cup sat in the center of the locker room the entire time.
And yes, I drank from it, spilling plenty down my front which resulted in a few shirt-changes.
(Having once won a really old, really disgusting three-foot-tall cup as an award and then proceeded to drink out of it in a college dorm, I love this mental image.)
Eugh, they probably didn’t have problems with fancying their best mate.
In that Avery fancied me.
Not that I fancied her.
Because I didn’t. I said no. We were just friends.
Could you kiss friends?
(So perfectly James.)
I'm really excited for Chapter 54 (esp. b/c you said earlier that it's one of your favorites, and your other favorites have been my favorite chapters too). And the sequel. I'd be less excited for Chapter 54 if it weren't for the sequel, b/c my exictement would be tempered by fear of forthcoming withdrawal.Author's Response: Look at you! FANCY.
thank you on the congrats! I know it has taken me far too long to respond to this, but I did read it right away. I've been married a little over 6 months now and it has been fantastic (except the process of changing my las tname. What a PAIN).
I'm really glad you're seeing exactly what i'm trying to do with James. For some reason, I just get him. It's weird. I don't even have to plan a lot of things. They just sort of happen.
I really hope you ended up liking 54. I'm serious when I say it was one of my favorites. There are 3-5 chapters in BTQC that I can reread over and over again, which is not common for me.
Thank you so much and I hope you like the rest AND the sequel! Can't wait to see what you think. Report Review
Forgot to say this in my ch 4 review - the new banner is great :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! It took FOR-EV-ER to find a banner I liked. Every time there seemed to be something wrong with it. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I'm really getting into this. The writing is engaging and easy to read, as always. And, as always, I'm a huge fan of how incredibly fast you turn chapters out.
You've done a great job of developing a lot of characters quickly. We got a lot more of depth for Remus, Dorcas, and Peter without it seeming forced. Nice.
I'm a big fan of Remus so far. Consistent with his personality from the books w/o being predictable.
I still feel like I know the other characters better than James and Lily, and am still intrigued by that.
Lots of good lines in this chapter. My favorites:
"No, he was perfectly right you are stunning. I'm glad my son hasn't fallen for someone of less than decent taste." He released her hand. "It was nice to meet you."
"If you're going to fight." She reasoned, "You should fight for something." Peter and Sirius frowned, but Remus and James understood perfectly. James raised his sword, "I FIGHT FOR HONOR!"
"When in doubt Wormy," James snickered as he walked up. "Remember that either way you're going to hurl."
"I'm going to be a better friend than I was a boyfriend," He promised as he pulled her into another hug.Author's Response: I tried to write as fast as I can whenever I get ideas. James and Lily will progress more slowly then the other characters because their story takes longer than everyone else's. I'm so glad you liked those lines! The James one reminds me of my best friend. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I'll start with the unimportant stuff: I love all of the chapter images (esp Lily and James), but I liked the old banner better than the new one. The James in the new banner seems off to me.
Now to the important stuff:
(1) I'm a huge fan of the way you've portrayed Sirius so far. I feel like he's the character we know the best after three chapters.
(2) I feel like, even after three chapters, we don't have that good a sense of James. He seems less larger-than-life than most portrayals of James. But I think ultimately how good this story is will depend a lot on how you develop James as a character. I'm looking forward to reading it.
(3) The same thing is true to a lesser extent re Lily. I feel like you've done a great job with the outer shell of her character, but I imagine there will be more there.
(4) The notion that Marlene can get through to Sirius when James couldn't is interesting. Again, very different from the typical James / Sirius BFF relationship, where Sirius would shut out everyone BUT James. I'm intrigued.
(5) You've built up enough cred with all of your prior stories that I'm really excited to see how this plays out. Keep writing!Author's Response: 1) I'm trying to find a better banner, I agree James doesn't look right, but I really hated the other banner. So it might take another try.
2) I'm glad you like Sirius, he's my favorite.
3) With James and Lily, they will take a minute. Because with this story it volleys between James and Lily and their friends, because it took everyone working together to get Lily and James together so you have to know them all. So I will focus on Marlene, Dorcas, Sirius and Remus first, and then once Lily and James have something to say the story will spread to them, and never really leave them.
4) James always can get through to Sirius, but he didn't see what happened and listens to Sirius when he says he wants to be left alone...mostly. Marlene doesn't care. She goes in and beats it into Sirius without sparing his feelings.
5) I love that you think I have cred! That makes me want to write more!
Thank you thank you thank you! Report Review
I just found your story - and read all of chs. 1-18 in two sittings over one day.
Draw your own conclusions from that about how much I liked it. :)
Obviously, what makes the story is how great the James / Gwen interactions are and how much one wants things to work out for them.
From this chapter, here's an example of just an ordinary interaction that struck me as pitch perfect:
Molly stared at him, eyes flashing from irritation. But suddenly her whole expression softened into a sly smile. “Gwen?” Molly turned to me. “Make James leave.”
James laughed. “Good luck with that, Mol, she’d never –”
“Go away, James.” I sighed, interrupting him.
“What?” he asked, looking a bit taken back as he turned to stare at me.
I gave him a hopeful smile. “You get to be the judge, okay?”
Regardless, I can't wait for more! This is one of the stories that I'm going to really, really hope is updated every time I log back in to hpff.Author's Response: Yey! My 500th review! *happy dance*
Thank you so much ^^ I'm really glad you liked it so much!
That was one of my favourite parts of this chapter actually. It's such a perfect moment. Molly knows perfectly well that she has no chance against James and his stubbornness, but she knows there's one person who does d:
I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible! Thank you so much for your lovely review (: Report Review
Add Lily to my ever-growing list of awesome characters in this story. Her interactions with James are fantastic.
Another beautifully written chapter. I can't wait to see how this ends!Author's Response: So glad you like Lily! She's one of my faves. I tried to give her the same amount of attention as Albus, but I failed miserable. Love her too much. Thank you! Report Review
A few days ago, I planned to start reading the story and get through a few chapters ... and instead I spent most of the next eight hours reading the whole thing. Not good for my productivity - but it was just too good to stop reading! I'm sorry that I'm only leaving one review, but I didn't have the willpower to pause and type at the end of each chapter.
I love James and Avery. They are both so real and so likeable. They have flaws and do things that make me want to smack them upside the head, but at the same time I really, really want things to work out for them. That's a really hard line to walk, and you've done it so well.
I'm also an enormous fan of Bink and Albus. I vote for more Albus in the sequel.
My one regret is that I read chs. 1-51 before the whole story is done, because now I can't stop myself from obsessively checking if there's a new chapter up. It would have saved me so much time if I could have just waited a few months and read the whole thing in one go! :)Author's Response: Whoops! I hate / love when that happens. It has happened to me more than I care to admit. But I'm so glad I was able to help you procrastinate :) Sorry if it was anything important!
Thank you so much for your kind words. James and Avery have this very special bond that I really love to write. It's something that is so familiar, yet so different from anyone else I've witnessed.
I really hope I can squeeze more Albus into the sequel. With more characters being added it's going to be difficult to get the other secondaries big parts. So we'll see what happens.
haha, I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story and the sequel! It's going to be a wild ride :) Report Review
I really like this: "He’d hoped she’d be so impressed by his bravery - Gryffindors liked things like that - and so amazed that he’d been right about Lupin that she’d forget what he’d called her. At the very least, Black, Potter and Lupin would be expelled and he wouldn’t have to worry about Potter bothering Lily anymore. She’d thank him for that too, and things could go back to how they’d been."
Reminds me of Dumbledore's "as long as you get what you want" line from Deathly Hallows.Author's Response: Yay! Thank you. It took me quite a while to get into Snape's head until I figured out that Lily is the main thing in Snape's head. I had a few reads of "The Prince's Tale" to try to get his character right so I'm glad you think I've managed. :D
Thank you so much for the review!
MarauderLover7. Report Review
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