Reading Reviews From Member: True Author
  
246 Reviews Found

Review #1, by True AuthorButterfly Effect: Prologue

12th August 2014:
Hi! Here for the review swap!

Wow, sounds like you've got a really interesting plot here. I thought this would be something else when I read the title and summary. So now I'm even more intrigued where the plot will go and how it goes with the title. :)

I loved how we got a glimpse of Zac and his mum before they died. That made the incident too real and effective. The last sentence is crazily intriguing and I just have to know what happens the poor girl :(

Great chapter! So sorry I'm a little late! RL is so busy that I'm hardly active on the site. I also know this is a really short review, but this was just the introduction so I promise I'll leave a detailed review for the next chapter. Hope I'll have some free time soon!

Ashwini

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Review #2, by True AuthorSomething to Live For: Interviewing a Foreigner

10th August 2014:
Hi there! Here for our review swap!

Wow, this does sound like an interesting story. It was a great introductory chapter, so I'm looking forward to read more. You have a great potential with this. :)

So... Is this country a real place? I've never heard about Salvadoria before. Maybe I'm really dumb about Geography, but if you made that up, it's great!!

Rosalind is a nice protagonist. She's an interesting character. I liked that you've provided just the right information about her- not too much to spoil the story but not scanty.

I'd just advise you to watch out for descriptions. When you go from one scene to another, it's a little bit jumpy. If you could fill that up, it would help you improve the plot. :)

Great job! Had fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you for stopping by :)

Haha yes, El Salvador is a real place but it's a veeerry small country (about the size of Massachusetts) so most people don't know where it is. Future chapters deal with Rosalind in that area, so I felt like I needed to reference it early.

Thank you! I wanted to portray an out of place character that is struggling to fit in a world she feels she doesn't belong in. They'll be a lot more about her past later on, most likely in her point of view.

Ahh yes D: I know my descriptions are wonky and I hate it! I think transitions are the most difficult for me and they come out choppy, but I am working on that. Thank you so much for your review! I had fun swapping with you as well :)

-Melissa


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Review #3, by True AuthorRed Silk: The Wedding

29th July 2014:
Hi there!

So I was a planning to read and review this for a while and then forgot about it. Today I came across this again and here I am! I'm indian and I had never seen a story set in India before. It was nice to see something original here. :)

Is any of you indian? The wedding atmosphere, the aunts and the overall descriptions were so perfect! If you're not Indian, you must have done quite a good research. Great job with that! And Gautama was all 'desi' too. ;) So adorable!

I loved Padma. She was a nice and funny narrator. I just loved the way their love bloomed during the wedding... It reminded of those nice romantic Hindi movies. :D

Great job! Will I see a sequel soon?

Ashwini

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Review #4, by True AuthorNo Turning Back: No Turning Back

14th July 2014:
Hi there! Here with the challenge review! :D

First of all, I MUST apologize for the wait. I'm so sorry! I've been really busy with a new clas I'm taking for nearly all of last month and then the House Cup kept me busy. I hope you understand dear!

Wow, I'm really impressed with the way you incorporated 'No Turning Back' with Harry/Cho. The ship and title didn't seem to fit with anything obvious as far as I could think, but you came up with a suitable idea and that's what I find most amazing about this entry. Great choice of plot I must say!

Harry/Cho isn't one of the pairings I like, so I found this story very believable. Harry was purely attracted to Cho, but still I found it believable that his heart gets confused after running into her after years. That was just like Harry! But I'm happy he chose not to turn back! Ginny's way too better that Cho. :D No turning back! I'm with you Harry. ;)

Cho was nearly perfection. The way she talked and also that she asked him to lunch with him was totally canon. Harry was just Harry! I liked his dialogue. Especially the last part. Even Harry's mental thought process was written quite well.

But I think you should give this a more dramatic touch. You can start by adding some interesting descriptions, these seem a little plain at some places. Create the scene artistically and it will work like magic! Also try to cut the dialogue a little and give Harry's thoughts a little more words. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, you can PM me. I'll be very happy to help you out.

Thanks for participating and congrats on winning the third place! You deserved it! :D

Ashwini

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Review #5, by True AuthorFear : Bogart

14th July 2014:
Hi there! Here with the challenge review! :D

I know I've posted the results nearly a month ago and this review is too late, but I've been unable to give HPFF as much time as I wanted to. Real life is currently very hectic. I hope you understand!

The best thing about this story was it's originality. The title and the ship don't go easily with each other, so it was a tough job to write a story combining them. But I was very very impressed. This was such a brilliant idea! Hats off for the extremely clever plot! The title fit everything perfectly. Great job!

Draco's characterization must have been the tricky part. I can certainly feel how hard that must have been. His feelings are so complicated and dark at the moment that they are like mess in his head. He loves Hermione so much that seeing her like this hurts. But he still continues to be there, that was so sweet of him! And seriously, Hermione not knowing who he is and waking up screaming because he's in her bed? That sounds too horrible!

The only suggestion I would make is to add a little more descriptions and make it a little longer. I think that would be very effective. It will help you add even more feeling to the whole idea and it will most surely make the reader cry.

Otherwise, this was a beautiful story. Great job!

Thanks for participating and congrats on winning the second place! You totally deserved it! :D

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini! I totally get that real life comes before everything else and I have no problem with that. (I just thought you night have forgotten, that was all!)
Thank you very much for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I had a lot of fun with this challenge, so thank you! I've been going over bits and pieces to try and improve, so hopefully that will be up soon. I appreciate your feedback and will try to extend it some more. And add more descriptions! Aww, thank you very much!
Lottie


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Review #6, by True AuthorIt's magic : It's magic

10th July 2014:
Wow, I just can't stop thinking about this. This makes me so sad! I mean, it's not her fault that she's a squib, is it? :( It's so bad that her relatives never accepted her let alone loved her. And she has to lose her parents too? Too sad.

And I'm totally amazed. This concept sounds so hard to write. You had to keep in mind that your narrator isn't a grown up and she doesn't really know about the magical world. Her parents hiding the truth from her made sense and I could also figure out that she must be a squib.

What a beautiful narration! I simply loved it. I could feel the innocence, the confusion and that evil feeling of revenge at the end. It was all so vividly portrayed that it made me think. It made me feel bad about all the squibs. I can actually sympathise with them. Even Filch. ;)

Gorgeous title! It's so perfect for the story. And it's meaningful. Really great job!

Ashwini

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #7, by True Authorlow tide: a meditation

9th July 2014:
Oh my God, what a touching story! :( The grief and the sorrow is so vivid that it touches you greatly. You did a very good job with the emotions. I loved them!

You have effectively stated how Fred and George were always together and now Fred's death has created a hollow in his brother's life. The second person PoV worked well with the plot too. I'm kind of inspired to write a one-shot in second person PoV too. :)

I liked how nice and understanding Angelina was. And the last sentence was extremely beautiful. So meaningful!

Loved this!

Ashwini

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!! This story was kind of just an exploration of feeling so I am so glad to hear that the emotions were effective in this.

You really should try second-person sometime if you haven't already, it's a lot of fun to try! It is challenging but I really loved writing in that POV. I'm so happy to hear that you liked the effect it had on the story!

Angelina and Lee would have lost a lot too with Fred being one of their best friends, so I figured they'd understand George pretty well. The last sentence was one of my favourites as well, I'm glad you appreciated it! Thanks so much for your sweet review! ♥


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Review #8, by True AuthorThe Perks of Being an Obliviator: The Perks of Being an Obliviator

8th July 2014:
Wow, what an enjoyable story! It was so simple and kind of short, but it's quite original. There are many wizarding careers that are often ignored, so I liked that you tried your hand at the job of a Ministry obliviator.

Alicia was a cool narrator. I never thought she would be a professional Quiditch player, so this idea was quite acceptable for me. You described the confused feelings of a girl new in a job really well.

Hmm, it does make sense that the obliviators have to take the couple of courses you described. It all was great imagination. Kudos!

You did a wonderful job with this. :)

Ashwini

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini,

Thanks so much! I'm particularly glad you thought it was original since I was really striving for that in this story. I completely agree with you - I rarely read stories about obliviators, so I'm glad you liked that this one was about that!

I'm so glad you liked Alicia and felt that it was possible/believable for her to be an obliviator. I think a lot of people seem to associate her with Quidditch and nothing else, and I like to think that whilst a lot of Quidditch players do end up in a career playing Quidditch, it's also possible to not end up in that path. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely review!!

- Charlotte


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Review #9, by True AuthorOut of the Darkness: Into the Sun

8th July 2014:
I was going through your stories for the House Cup and I automatically started reading this story. I just can't resist baby Harry! I'm very curious about the time he spent with his parents in Godric's Hollow and also I love the challenge you wrote this for. So this story was perfect for me. :)

I love the way to portray Lily's thoughts. I like that she's so strong, but still fears the safety of her child. I can certainly understand how horrific it would have been for her to know that Harry has to finish Voldemort in the end. That was beautifully written.

You did a great job with Lily's speech. It was so heartfelt and true! I think that's my favorite part of the story as it must've been hard to fit everything in 500 words.

Harry playing with a Snitch was a nice detail. It shows that Quidditch is simply into his blood.

Great job! :D

Ashwini

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Ahh hehe, thank you! Who can resist reading about baby Harry. :P


Thank you very much! I really had to dig into my inner mother to bring out the Lily in this one-shot. :D

Aw!! Cool, cool! Yes was very hard to keep at 500. Every time I erased, I ended added a word two. :P


Thank you Ashwini for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! :D



- Asphodel


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Review #10, by True AuthorThe world beyond: I will always keep you safe

24th June 2014:
Wow, what a beautiful story! :'( You almost made me cry. I'm still feeling sad for both of them.

Ever since I read the first book, I was fascinated by the time Harry spent with his parents. So I ALWAYS read stories from that period. But your story kind of amazed me. It's. it seems a little different. You captured her emotions so well! And in just less that thousand words. that's awesome!

I think you also described their relationship and their love perfectly. I just love how simple but deep their love was.

Great story! sorry for the wait and it was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

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Review #11, by True AuthorThe Very Bottom of the Cauldron: Fischer Family Fact Time

24th June 2014:
Hi Reebs! Sorry for the wait... :( Had to go out of town for a couple of days. And I don't really like to type reviews on my phone so. Hope you understand!!

Wow, I like your title. It's so original- you can never tell what kind of story this is and that sort of draws a reader in. :) (like me here) But anyways the title is as off beat and quirky as Frida is, you that was a brilliant choice. :D

Frida sounds like a very. interesting character. She's so original and no one usually dares to write stories with her kind of character as the protagonist. I like that you're trying something new here.

The way you narrate the story is so nice! I really really absolutely love it. Especially the last sentence. Great idea!

I would just suggest you to get this beta read or at least take a look at the grammar and punctuation. I spotted some misplaced commas here and there. That spoils the flow sometimes!

Would love to come back for more!

Ashwini

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Review #12, by True AuthorThe Queen Is Giving In: Roses and Vanilla

21st June 2014:
Hi there! :D

Well, this does seem like a pretty interesting story. I haven't read many marauders era fics, so I don't really know what people usually write. But as far as I've seen, I think you're doing something rather different and I liked it. :) The title and this chapters is intriguing and enjoyable.

You characterized Dorcas perfectly! How do you do that? I know so much about your character in just the first chapter! That's really impressive. Harley makes me feel curious. What's wrong? I know there's a backstory, am I right?

Grammar and spelling looks good, but maybe there are too many spaces between paragraphs. I know you're already halfway through the story, but can you fix that? It's a little hard to read.

Great job! Sorry for the late by the way, that day turned out to be busier than I had expected. It was fun swapping with you anyways!

Ashwini

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked my first chapter! It actually was originally the second, but I omitted the first completely, as it was not helping.

You'll definitely see more about Harley/Dorcas/the Meadowes in the next few chapters


I will edit the spaces. I JUST figured out how to paste from word correctly, so I'll go back and fix all the chapter spacing during the summer.

No problem! This is a lovely review, and I'm so happy you chose this novel. I hope you'll continue with it.


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Review #13, by True AuthorDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: Only Blood

25th May 2014:
Review swap! :D

It's been ages since I read the first chapter and I had to read it all over again, but reading two chapters in a row was interesting! I feel like reading all the story right now, but let's focus on this review first. ;)

Wow, I really liked the cliffhanger! Poor Devlin! :( I rarely read AU, especially when Harry doesn't marry Ginny, but I've started to like this one. I'm already hooked! Great plot!

Your descriptions are chilling! Especially when you write the action part. The imagery is quite good, it's like watching the whole scene on the screen. Beautiful! :D

It's surprising how your Harry is SO CANON. He's just the Harry Potter we know and like. Good job with that!

Just watch out for typos! You have a few here and there, but they can be easily fixed. Just look over the chapter once again to get rid of them. They spoil the flow sometimes. :)

Great read! Thanks for the swap!

Ashwini

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Review #14, by True Authorlost: Pork Baps and Chocolate Cupcakes.

12th May 2014:
Hello! I know that I'm extremely late, but life was busy and I didn't have enough time for HPFF... :( but I'm here anyways! :D

I really like the way you are narrating the story. It's the simplest and sometimes the best way of all. You get a freedom of saying whatever you want to as the story is more of the inner monologue of your character. I was under impression that the story is angsty or something like that, but this chapter at least is pretty normal. But I enjoyed it. :)

Your plot is definitely intriguing and the flow was really well. Especially the part after the opening paragraph. I am already intrigued and wondering where you're taking your story.

I think you should work a little on grammar, punctuation and spelling. I noticed some mistakes like weird use of phrases a couple of times. Maybe you spelled 'ally' instead of 'alley'... And 'apparatus' instead of 'apparates'. You should get a beta reader or look over the chapter yourself.

Overall this was a great read! :) And sorry again!!

Ashwini

Author's Response: I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond!

I'm so very glad that you enjoyed the story. I did realise that the summery was some what deceiving when it came to reading the actual story so I will try and fix it somehow so it fits in more with the tone of the writing. I was so nervous about this sort of narrative because it's quite unorthodox from the way I would normally write so it's a huge relief to know that you liked it and that it worked!

I'll definitely be getting my self a BETA to look over the chapter because I do know a few pesky grammer/punctuation mistakes managed to sneak their way into the writing.

Thank you so much again for such a lovely review!

Bella x


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Review #15, by True AuthorI Know: I Know

7th May 2014:
Hello Curie! :D

I was so surprised when you told me about your new mystery story that I didn't even look at your other stories when I visited your page for the swap. ;) Your writing style fits perfectly for fluff or romance, but you've done a great job with mystery too!

Wow, you really made me curious throughout to the ending! I just kept thinking about all HP characters 'I know' but somehow I didn't think of Parvati. Also the revelation was quite shocking. I can understand the situation and the reason behind Parvati's behaviour. I must say the end was pretty believable!

I was just thinking you should make the story a little longer. Maybe add some more descriptions? Having lots of darkish descriptions is very effective for a mystery story. Especially if it's a one-shot as it is much shorter. Just add some more descriptions to the last part and all the incidence to make everything more vivid.

The incidents were so scary! I would have died before the realisation if I was Ginny. Especially the Knight Bus scene. Wow! Also the idea of the green shirt was a clever one.

Aww, I feel so sorry for Parvati! :(It must have been very hard for her and it's so so bad that she was affected by the incident this much.

Overall this was creepy (in a good way of course)! Great job and yay for mysteries! I hope to see a more from you. :)

It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

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Review #16, by True AuthorEaster Lily: Easter Lily

1st May 2014:
Hi Beth! Here for the review tag! :D

Aww, baby Harry makes me cry! :') I mean it! Baby Harry is far too cute here. It's like watching the childhood photos of your best friend, you know. I love reading about his childhood, especially his days with James and Lily. I couldn't resist this one-shot! And it was a great read. :)

Everyone was nicely characterised here. Especially Lily, James and Sirius. I think having Lupin sitting in the same room would do. I couldn't figure out when Remus did the meadow and everything in the end. The pranks were silly and pathetic just like they should be of course! And I can feel what Lily must've felt haha. :D

Great story!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hello again!

I really had fun writing this. It was hard to come up with ideas for James and Sirius, but I'm happy with how that part turned out. You are right! Remus does need to make an appearance. This was originally written for a contest (The Eggstravaganza) and I had to keep it under 2500 words, so I couldn't fit in everything I wanted to. I'm really bad at telling a story with a limited number of words, so I went back and revised it. The updated version is in the queue right now and Remus is there - but he didn't make the meadow. He just gives James the idea to transfigure their room into something else instead of playing pranks.

I'm so glad you liked the way I portrayed Harry and how Lily felt! Thanks for the review!

Beth


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Review #17, by True AuthorRun: Run

28th April 2014:
This sounds like such an interesting story! I can't wait to see where this goes already... :O I'm hooked! And your descriptions were so lovely... Beautiful imagery!

I've read a couple of fanfics about the Founders, but this is pretty much different. In those fics, all four of them came from different places like told in the books. This is a very good idea that Rowena and Salazar were once in love and oh my gosh he killed her father! That's insane!

Second person PoV is usually hard , even for one shots. You pulled it off very well and it suits the plot. :)

Anyways it's sad she had to marry Lord Ravenclaw. :( I'm now curious what has happened in those seven years. I hope you update soon! I'm definitely coming back for more. :D

Ashwini :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much! This was quite challenging to write, since it was Founders as well as second person, so it's a huge relief to know that you think I've pulled it off well!

You're not the first to comment about Rowena and Ravenclaw's story. :D I think I'll probably write one about them or related to this soon, once I get done with the story I have in mind at present.

Thank you for the lovely review! :)


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Review #18, by True AuthorActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

28th April 2014:
This was a great start! If this is your first fanfic, I really would give you an applause for this! So well written. :)

First of all I liked your title. I can't figure out what the plot has to do with it, but still I kind of like it. :D it's one of my favorite good old phrases and I believe it was your inspiration?

Rose was nicely characterized. The way she thinks is very much like Hermione, but still you manage to give her a new vibe. Great job with that! Also, you managed to give enough information about everything. Not scarce and not too much. :)

Just try to make it a little more descriptive maybe? A little description would make it loads more nicer. :)

Great read!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini,

I'm so sorry that I've not gotten to this until now. I really thought I had responded to this earlier!

Thanks for the great review! This is my first fanfic and I have been really nervous about it so thanks for your kind words. I actually wrote most of it on my laptop before even joining the site and posting it. That was when I came up with the title. I'm not in love with it, but I wanted something a little catchy. I picked it because Rose and Scorpius can't always say what they mean to each other, but they always seem to show their feelings.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #19, by True AuthorHer Death: Chapter One

27th April 2014:
Wow, such a touching story! :( I just don't know what to say... This was really a beautifully written piece, especially the last part. I'm feeling so bad for both Ron and Malfoy!

So basically, I'm NOT a Dramione shipper and reading this was pretty new and even a little hard for me, but anyways I decided to give this a go... And I'm so glad I did! No wonder this was a Dramione one shot, but I still liked that you believed that Ron too, truly loved her.

Ron's characterisation was definitely at its best. Really great job! Also Draco was pretty believable... I LOVE how Ron was restless and Draco wasn't!! Excuse me, but I'm a Romione shipper. :D

The last sentence was deeply meaningful and just perfect. Loved it! All you need to do is correct a few typos here and there. :)

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini! :)

I'm glad you gave this a go, even though it wasn't your ship. Means a lot to me :)

I'm glad you still liked it, and I didn't really focus on their relationship, but more on Ron's side of the story. And I'm so thrilled you think my characterization of him was good! Thank you :)

Yes, it does need to be beta-read, but it'll get done during the summer :) Thank you for letting me know about the typos.

Thank you for reviewswapping with me! :)

- Avi


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Review #20, by True AuthorThe Anatomy of Genius: The Anatomy of Genius

16th April 2014:
Oh, this was so beautiful! :S I just don't know what to say. I literally don't. This was the loveliest Jily thing I have read. And it has made me so emotional that I'm feeling what she must have felt. :(

Poor poor James!! I feel so bad for him. Why did Lily do that to him? That's all I can think of right now. :( I loved the last part more than any other. Especially the ending. S beautiful!

The best part was Lily's inner thoughts, monologue whatever. You totally understand her character and the way she thinks and that sort of reflects through the story. She was so clearly in love and the way she denied that was perfect!

Very very very good job! I loved this!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much! This review was an unexpected surprise - it's lovely of you to have stopped by, and I'm amazed to hear how much this story affected you.

That last part was an emotional one to write, especially at the end when Lily finds herself faced with... herself, her own behaviour, and its consequences. It's not that she did anything wrong; she was more misguided, misinterpreting James's behaviour and believing that she couldn't hurt him. It's such a hard lesson to learn, and I loved being able to make Lily flawed in that way - it's realistic, yet it's also very heavy, with a lot of potential for emotion and epiphany. I really wanted to hit readers hard with that ending, and it's fantastic to hear that it was successful.

Thank you again for your kind words! It was a great experience to write this story and finally feel as though I understood Lily as a human being rather than as the legend of the Potterverse.


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Review #21, by True AuthorBeginning of the End: Never Let Go

13th April 2014:
Hello! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle. :)

So, is this the story we talked about? I wasn't sure if the one you mentioned was this or the other companion one-shot, so I gave this a try. Actually, this title suits the plot better and you could make up a gorgeous name for the companion one-shot easily. :)

Anyways, the story was extremely beautiful, you almost made me cry. :S I recently read a story about Lavender's life after the war and since then, I was looking for more stories about her. And this was such a brilliant one!

Another thing I liked was the perfect use of the quote. I love Taylor Swift and the quote you used is one of my favorites. You have used the most appropriate characters as well as situations. Hearing the quote from Oliver was so adorable! It got along quite well as a dialogue. I liked that!

Lavender was perfect throughout the story. The way you capture her feelings was so different and yet nice. She was so different in the books than what you describe here, but an incident like that can change a person this much. I found it very believable.

The only thing CC I have is that you should look at the Lexie scene again. I'm not sure if she'd insult Lavender in front of Oliver. Maybe you can send him away while she was doing that? I mean, she liked him, didn't she? She would have tried to sound nice in front of him.

Otherwise, this was a lovely piece of writing. :)

Ashwini

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Review #22, by True AuthorClementine: Clementine

13th April 2014:
Aww, this was so sweet! I'm full of Bill/Fleur feels right now. :D

So when you mentioned that you have written a Bill/Fleur one-shot recently, I couldn't resist reading this one. :P But I'm so glad I did! Your writing style is amazing and you did a wonderful job in such a short word count!

I asume you were given the color apricot orange in the challenge? If so, the story got along with it very well. I wasn't sure if the color would look too good on Fleur, but I loved the thing that she was doing it for Bill. I just love them together! Even in the books, I felt they were meant to be together. :)

Aww, he asked her in French! :S That was certainly my favorite. So adorable! And the rose! :D

Really great job! Thanks for the review swap!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini, thanks so much for stopping by! :) I'm so happy to hear that!

It's the first Bill/Fleur thing I've ever written - bit of a surprise given the soft spot I have for them! Ah, I'm so glad you thought the word count was alright - it was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done for writing. Had to cut so much out... :P

Yeah, it was light orange - not quite that specific - but once I'd started the food colours, I couldn't really stop, and it fitted well enough! I don't really know how well it would look on her either, haha, it was just the colour, so I sort of went with it anyway.

I'm so happy you liked the ending - it's probably one of the fluffiest things I've ever written, and I wondered if it was too much...

Thank you so much for both the swap and the great review! It was so much fun swapping with you! :)

Aph xx


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Review #23, by True AuthorMottled Blue: One murderer.

11th April 2014:
Yay, I guessed it right! :D

Aah, I'm glad you didn't kill Lily. I hate it when the protagonist dies in the end, especially in a mystery story. I feel like the protagonist is defeated or something like that. :P Anyways, it's great that you didn't end this that way. :)

You have given a pretty believable reasoning to the murders. I even felt sorry for Lavender! It's too bad her face was scarred and she lost her looks and everyone thinks she's dead when she's not, it's pretty bad... :( She has had enough to turn into a murderer. And I also liked that she died. That was very appropriate and the best thing you could do to her.

Victoire! :( But anyways, I would have felt sorrier if she had lost her looks. :(

Wow, but this was a great short story! Though the murderer wasn't unexpected to me, it was believable. Just have a look at this chapter again, it has a couple of typos. Otherwise, lovely characterisation of Lily and great suspense! Also, this was the first story I have ever read with so many next-gen characters dying. ;)

Ashwini

Author's Response: Ashwini!!

I know what you mean, and I did toy with it for a while but it would seem too un-Lily like to kill her off as she's always one step ahead of the gam so she lived. I know, I even began to feel sorry for her too, and I was like I can sort of see why you didn't it so I guess it's a tinsy bit less bad than before :P Whoo for her dying though, again, like Lily, they always want to be in control so her dying enabled that to happen.

Thanks for pointing that out! I plan on editing on all the chapters of this in the coming weeks and I'll get to it then. Haha, there was a massacre of them but it was fun to change it around :P

Thanks for this amazing review and all of the other ones it was so much fun to follow your thoughts throughout the story!

-Kiana


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Review #24, by True AuthorA Halloween Visit: A Halloween Visit

10th April 2014:
Oh, this was so touching! :(

Wow, I didn't even think you were stepping out of your comfort zone with this. You wrote this with an ease in such a short word count. I personally think that writing a one-shot in less than a thousand words is extremely difficult and that's when we can test an author. And you did a simply great job! The emotions quite moved me.

Even though you said you were writing Harry for the first time, I found him very believable and canon. I always feel bad for him because he is orphan and he lost Sirius and Remus too... So I especially liked this. And Halloween does seem like a perfect day to visit their graves. That's sort of when the story began! :)

Really great job!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing =)

I am happy you liked this and that it moved you. It was indeed out of my comfort zone, and writing under 1000 words is surely a challenge, but I did it and it makes me proud especially when I read reviews like yours =)

It's great that you found Harry believable, and the whole Halloween premise. Thanks!


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Review #25, by True AuthorForever and a Day: Forever and a Day

8th April 2014:
Wow, it was such a nice little one-shot!

Personally, I always go for shorter word counts, I think they are most challenging and that's where we get to know how skilled the author is. And I must say, you did a great job with that! :)

I've never heard the song, but now I'm going to. :D Is the theme of the song the same or have you taken the freedom? This idea is very original and you have presented it well in such a short word count.

Great job! I've never read George/Angelina and I'm not a big fan, but still I'm glad I read this. :)

Thanks for the great read and review swap Sarah!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks hon! I'm glad you think I did a good job! It's an amazing song, definitely worth a listen! I'd say I went along with the feel pretty well. I think its a song definitely more geared towards a lover, so I kind of twisted it a bit, but not much. Thanks thanks! I actually had to add more because it was too short :P , thanks for swapping hon!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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