Reading Reviews From Member: True Author
  
265 Reviews Found

Review #1, by True Authorfall.: fall.

22nd November 2014:
Hello Carla! I'm here for our review swap! :)

Wow, such a beautiful story! I could almost feel all the leaves falling around me while I read this. You have described the season with great ease and the way you asociated the season with Teddy and Rose's story was also great. It nearly brought me to tears and made me feel sorry for the two of them.

I liked that you kept us guessing who these two people are. It was a good choice not to begin the story with their names. And the way you revealed that it was Teddy, saying that his eyes turned into some different color was very very innovative and effective.

Teddy and Rose! Such a fresh ship. I read it for the first time as I usually prefer Rose and Scorpius but I liked it. It was strangely believable and made sense to me. Good job with that!

I know you said that the blank spaces are because of the text editor, but I think they make this kind of effective. They go along well with this story, at least I think that! I'll advise you not to edit them out. :)

Overall, this was a fresh, sad, romantic and beautifully described story! I like the idea of asociating seasons with genres. I might enter the challenge myself it it is still on the forums or otherwise I'll make sure I read all the entries. :)

Great job! It was fun swapping with you! I hope we do more swaps in the future. :D

Ashwini

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Review #2, by True AuthorSeven: 7:00 AM

19th November 2014:
Hi there! :)

First of all, even though it's very random, I just have to say that you make EXTREMELY GORGEOUS banners. You really do! I've seen your work over at the Dark Arts and I've always loved it. Especially your banners. You have a unique and beautiful style. I'm thinking about requesting one from you in the future! :)

Okay. Now on the review.

This story was completely new for me I must say! I usually don't read non-canon ships, especially the strange ones like Severus/Hermione, but this story seemed interesting and it's always okay to try something new once in a while. So I decided to give this a go, and I'm glad I did!

I like your overall concept of this story. I'm curious to see how you write all the chapters revolving around number seven. I liked the first chapter so far and it seems like the rest of them would be quite good too. I'll surely come back for more. :)

Whoa, this ship is really very new to me. I've never even read Draco/Hermione stories as I love Ron/Hermione and I never read Snape/OC too, let alone Snape/Hermione. I've liked just one Snape/OC trilogy in the past, but this was also interesting and great. :) It did make me uncomfortable ;) but your writing style is good.

And you are writing this story for NaNo? Great! I know how hard this NaNo thing is as I'm currently struggling with it too, but I hope you complete this novel and win NaNo!

Great job and good luck!

Ashwini

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Review #3, by True AuthorMisappropriated: Misappropriated

19th November 2014:
Hi there! :)

Honestly, you have a wonderful banner. It kind of drew me here to read this story even though it was kind of long. I don't usually read stories so long, but this time I did, and I truly don't regret it!

Aah, Remus Lupin! I just literally love him as a character. He's one of the most interesting characters JKR created in the series. Even in the third book, when we didn't know much about him, I kept wondering about his past. He seemed like a deep and interesting character even back then. I think you really do understand him and you have done a great job here with his characterization. He seems real and canon.

I don't know why, but I don't really believe Remus going and telling Dumbledore his theory about Peter being the one to betray James and Lily. Lupin confessed in Prisoner of Azkaban that he didn't tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an unregistered animagi. And I also don't think that he will suspect Peter as they were best friends too. So I'll suggest that you should keep the part where Remus meets Dumbledore, but just don't make Remus take Peter's name and telling that they were animagi. The rest of it sounds good. Because if Dumbledore knew Sirius was a dog, he would have made his staff and maybe even aurors to look for a big black dog in the neighbourhood.

But it's just my opinion! Otherwise this seemed like a nice new take on canon and would make a great AU story if you don't want to change it the way I suggested. :)

But I just LOVED the way you write your characters. Remus and Sirius both were believable and perfectly themselves. The dialogue between them was very good, with all the awkwardness and remnants of their old friendship captured well. You also managed to write Dumbledore and I admire you for that! Literally! I've tried to write a one-shot about him like five times and I never can write him. He is quite difficult to write, especially his dialogue. Great job with that!

I hope my suggestions didn't sound rude or harsh or anything! If so, I just wanted your story to be a little more canon and believable. :)

It was fun swapping with you! PM if me if you'd like to do more swaps in the future. :D

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hey Ashwini,

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the story. I know what you mean about the bit with Remus telling Dumbledore, but it came to me that he might consider it. After all, it's just as believable as Sirius ratting them out. And the bit about the Animagi just made sense to me to have him finally admit it, simply because there would be no other way Dumbledore would entertain the idea of Sirius being innocent without some reasoning behind how Peter could escape. =)

I will definitely take you up on review swaps again in future!

xx-Wolfgirl


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Review #4, by True AuthorSacrifice: Of Nightmares, Returns, and Reunions

28th October 2014:
Hi there! Here for our review swap! :D

First of all, I'm sorry this review took so long. I've just started a new term at college so I was really busy for a couple of days. Also with NaNo coming up, most of my free time was being spent on planning.

I love AJ's feelings in this chapter. It was good to see how Hogwarts is like a much safer home to those who don't have a really great life. Like AJ. Her situation is quite tough and I like how brave she is. The dream at the beginning reflected some of her fears and insecurities which she does not express to anyone. It was a nice touch, I loved it! :)

Wait a minute. Didn't Crabbe die in Deathly Hallows because of Fiendfyre? :| How can he be the caretaker then?

The Headmistress's speech was so different from Dumbledore's and so McGonagall style! Haha, it was well written.

Great job!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi!

The wait was fine. You had to wait for my first review, so understood! Good luck in NaNo and College!

Thanks for the kind words. As for Crabbe, I entirely forgot about that. I'll change that. But I'm sure it's not the first time someone who died in the battle popped up in Next Generation. ;)

Thanks!

-Leigh


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Review #5, by True AuthorSeven: Seven is the most magical of numbers.

25th October 2014:
Hi Beth!

Let me say something I noticed! Your story has exactly seven reviews while I'm typing mine. :D You may think I'm crazy. I just wanted to tell you. ;)

Anyways, this was quite a touching story. I wish I could change the way Sirius's life went after James's death! I feel too sad for him. And he lost Dorcas too? Oh my God! That man really deserved a happy ending. :( And you expressed this in a beautiful way.

Wow, I think I'm in love with the way you use words! There were some sentences I especially liked, for example- "It is a sunless summer in hiding with only Harry’s bright eyes to lighten the days." Such a wonderful quote! You describe the scene where he escapes from Azkaban in a very believable way. :)

Did you write this in just 777 words purposely or is it just a coincidence? If you didn't do it on purpose, I would really suggest you make it a little longer. :)

Great job! It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!

Thanks so much for this review - and thanks for doing the swap!

Haha - that's so funny about the 7 reviews! I did intentionally make the story 777 words, and each paragraph also has a multiple of 7 words in it, so I sort of went overboard with the 7 thing!

I really liked writing about Sirius's escape from Azkaban - I tried hard to convey what it felt like to finally be free after so many years imprisoned.

Someone else suggested that I make it longer too! I'm not sure. If I did, it would have to be a completely separate story, because I'm really happy with this one so far.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #6, by True AuthorSacrifice: Of Beginnings, Aurors, and Torn Photographs

23rd October 2014:
Hi! Here for our review swap! :D

I like your plot setting and characters. AJ and her siblings are really having a tough time, as you explain in the chapter, and that makes everything even more interesting. Now I'm curious about what you are planning to do next. Are you going to focus on how AJ struggles with her situation and all the responsibilities? Or will it focus on her love interest? :)

Your characterization is very believable. I'd just suggest you to give some qualities to each of her siblings so that it will be easier to recognize who is who. I got messed up with all of them and their names. Make them stand out individually. I think it will make it easier to understand the plot too. :)

Aww, the end was so touching. :'( You portray the love between the siblings very strongly and vividly. I think that's the best part of this story. It's great that you're doing something different and original!

Great story!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi, Ashwini!

Thanks so much! The siblings will be easier to depict in the upcoming chapters. I did all I could to make the recognizable but it's a challenge! :)

Thanks so much!

-Leigh


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Review #7, by True AuthorWar: Stubborn

19th October 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your challenge review! I'm so sorry this took so long... The exam I was preparing hard for ended yesterday so I'd surely leave your six prize reviews in this week. :)

I loved this story from the first time I read it. Remus/Tonks is my most favorite couple from the books right next to Ron/Hermione. I especially love to read about the hard patch they went through before they got married. SO this story was a perfect read to me!

You've captured Tonks's feelings wonderfully. Her pain, sadness, her love and hope is too real. She is a complex character and you've written her with great ease. And the most important thing is how the title I had given suits so perfectly to the plot. :D

Kudos for writing this all in just 500 words! I've tried it and I know how hard it it! I had to edit my one-shot five times to make it 500 words exactly. :P

Lovely story!

Ashwini

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Review #8, by True AuthorLuna : Encounter

19th October 2014:
Hi there! :)

I just LOVE reading about young characters and you have a beautiful banner and summary. I couldn't help but peek in. And I'm so glad I did! Luna Lovegood is one of my most favorite characters from the series. She's completely unique, bold, so herself and we end up liking her despite her weirdness. And you've managed to get this all perfectly. :)

I can certainly believe she would have encountered a thestral like that. It's totally like her to find out such a creature and try to go meet him instead of running away. She seems so different as a child too! The references to her father's weird names for things was very well placed, by the way.

And the end is just so sad! Only Luna can accept that she sees things that other people don't. Remember how Harry freaked out when he heard the Basilisk in the second book? ;)

Great story!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you, again, for another super review. I am grinning so much. Wow. I'm amazed that you think I've written your favourite character that well!
I'm glad it was believable, and that you enjoyed reading it. I do indeed remember! Although he seemed pretty calm about the smaller snakes in the zoo during the first book. Well, I suppose he didn't know that it was a basilisk... Just that he was hearing things... And nobody believes him. It seems to be a recurring theme throughout the books that - nobody seems to believe Harry an awful lot :P
Lottie


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Review #9, by True AuthorHow Long Will I Love You?: As Long As The Stars Are Above You

19th October 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your prize review! :)

This is just so beautiful! I'm full of Romione feels right now. I just love love love both of them and I love this beautiful song and I love you for writing this! :D

All these moments are completely adorable. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot as I read this. Aren't they too cute? And the lyrics suit them perfectly. It's just believable that their love probably WILL last that long.

My favorite moment was the last one though. It's so well-written and full of feelings. It's cute!

Really adorable! Loved this!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!
I'm so glad you liked it! I'm not usually a Ron person, but the song really worked and yeah. Stuff happened :P aww you're too sweet! I love you for reviewing this, so I guess we are equal ;) Hermione and Ron are really cute together, I have to admit. I adore Ellie Golding, her songs are just so great and the lyrics in this are so beautiful. Eek I'm glad you like this :D
Once again, thank you!
Lottie


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Review #10, by True AuthorLost Lullaby: From Fire to Ice

19th October 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your challenge prize reviews! I've reviewed this story for now, but if you want the rest of the reviews on any other story you can PM me and let me know. You still have two reviews left! :)

Wow, what an interesting concept. It's very very hard to write such characters but you've done a really great job, I must say! I've also written a story where my protagonist is in Azkaban and I know it's pretty tough. You are very good and grammar and vocabulary too. I wish I was as good at it as you are!

Hmm... I can't figure out what Lily must have done to end up in Azkaban. :O And it was so "Harry" to turn up there to meet his daughter. I liked that. I just think you should make clear who your protagonist is or at least who Harry is. I understand that it would spoil the feel you want to create. But maybe you can say that the patronous was a stag? That would be really great. :D

Wonderful story! I would love to come back for more!

Ashwini

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Review #11, by True AuthorDizzy: Dizzy

30th September 2014:
Hi! First of all, I'm so sorry for the wait! My WiFi was working all weird since weekend and I had little time left for reviews too. Blame sudden inspiration for the next chapter of my WIP too!

Wow, so much sweetness in just a one-shot! I don't always like fluff, but it's really nice to read something like this once in a while. I've read a couple of dark one-shots and three chapters of a mystery story recently and it was delightful to read something so sweet. :)

Aww, Freddie and Sweets are so cute together!! I just loved the bond they share. It's perfect. And no place was better than Honeydukes for this story! :D

Oh and I liked the idea of "Resurrection stones". Pretty clever. :) I just wish it was a little longer!

Great story! It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi, Ashwini!

It's no problem, really, for the wait. You got here, and that's what counts.

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. Your comments and compliments are all greatly appreciated! :D I wish it was longer too, honestly, but I don't want to get too carried away before NaNo.

Thanks so so much!

-Leigh


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Review #12, by True AuthorComplicated: In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

20th September 2014:
Hi there! :)

I must say that you have a very interesting first chapter here. It doesn't give the reader a much clear idea about what the main plot's about or anything like that. You simply introduce the narrator and her family problems. I really liked that. It's made me very curious about what will happen next! And the way you connected it all to Christmas was a nice touch.

Whoa, who would've thought her mother was no one but Pansy Parkinson? :O I was very surprised to read that she was Pansy. But I think it all makes sense. I can imagine her marrying someone else and not really getting over Draco. I also imagine Draco not marrying her by the way. :) It's all believable! That's really great. :)

So is there going to be something between Scorpius and Olivia? I can't tell. But I'd like to have some romance in here. And I also hope Olivia and her cousin would get along well with each other. That girl sure deserves some happiness! I hope you give loads to her!

Great story! It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!

It's really great to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it and it caught your interest.

Pansy Parkinson's definitely still hung up on Draco, but I think it was obvious they never would have ended up together. I don't think Draco would have wanted to base his life around the choices he made in school.

There's definitely not something between Scorpius and Olivia, other than intense friendship. But there will be romance later :) (when we meet Al Potter) and Olivia's relationship with her cousin definitely changes too.

Thanks for the swap!

Emma xx


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Review #13, by True AuthorReincarnation: Remember

13th September 2014:
Hmm, this seems to be getting more interesting as I read on! I like that you are using Rheas instead of Rose. It makes sense as that's who Rose is going to be. And Rhea lies easily? That's intriguing!

I liked that you wrote the flashback part again. It's easier for those who haven't read the prequel. And it's correct to write it I think.

At some moments I was confused if you were writing from Rose's PoV or Rhea's so I think you should make that a little clear. :)

Great chapter!!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hey Ashwini!

Really, Rose and Rhea are confused to actually who they are, so I decided to take Rhea, as like you said, it makes more sense.

Thank you for that review!

~Sana


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Review #14, by True AuthorFanged Revolution: Chapter the First

13th September 2014:
Oh, this was creepy! Vampires always freak me out and scare me to death, I don't know why. :P But there was something about the way you described this one that made it all scarier. But in a nice way of course! Everyone likes to read a scary story once in a while! :D

I'm very curious about what is going to happen. I can't wait to see who the young woman was and why she would be a trouble for Nightstalker (good name by the way!). I like that you kept the first chapter short. This makes the story even more interesting.

And I love your banner! It's bloody gorgeous! :D

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hello!

Scary stories are good once in a while (or all the time, depending on taste).

The young woman will be a lot of trouble for Nightstalker. He's a vampire who is active at night, so I thought it a fitting name.

I'll pass your compliment about the banner on to the artist who made it.

Thanks for the lovely review!

~Olivia


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Review #15, by True AuthorReincarnation: Back

13th September 2014:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap!

I'm so sorry this took so long! I was away from home with limited internet connection and I need quite some time to read a story and write a review. This seemed an interesting story, as I sort of do believe in reincarnation to some level, so I wanted to read and leave a review properly. :)

I just LOVE your writing style. It's very unique. Lots of people around here describe every little detail and like to read that type of stories, but I like short ones better. I like that you don't describe too much about the scene or just anything. And this style works perfectly for Reincarnation. :)

Whoa, Scorpius is such a jerk! :O I read this chapter first and I was all confused. I couldn't imagine Scorpius doing something so terrible that a dead person would come back to take his revenge. Then I went back to the prequel. And OH MY GOD. I hope Rose gets her revenge! What happened to her was horrible.

I'm quite interested about this Rhea too. Who is she? Why did she die? And there are going to be some problems when someone familiar to her is going to run into Rose. This is quite intriguing.

I had always thought that reincarnation begins from another birth, but I like this angle too. Will surely come back for more!

Random question- Are you Indian? Sorry to ask you, but there is a very popular tv show here which is based around this plot. It's not reincarnation, but it's basically a girl taking revenge for what happened to her sister. And her sister suffers what Rose has suffered in this story. So I thought you might have got some inspiration from there. :D

Good job! It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hey Ashwini! Never mind the lateness, just glad that you are here! (And you've got like, 3 unanswered reviews as per my investigations)

So much sweetness in one review HAS to be made illegal.

More about Rhea is coming up! Just keep on reading, and you'll find out! :)

Answer to your random question- No, sorry, I'm not an Indian. I'm an American-Maldivian. But currently, I'm living in India. :) Are you talking about Paanch, the one that comes on V TV? My friends talk about it, but I've never seen it. Now that I'm familiar with Hindi, I'll be sure to watch it!

Thanks for that lovely review and it was a great swap!

Sana


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Review #16, by True Authorbloom.: bloom

9th September 2014:
Wow, this was so amazing that I don't really know what to say. You made me feel so many things in just a one-shot that I can't figure out where to start...

Well, I'm so glad you wrote this. We often forget that some small characters like Madam Pomfrey are also humans and they might have a story too. Now I've really started to see not just her, but so many other characters from a different point of view. It's great that you are doing something so unique. Well done! :D

Some of your descriptions were just too beautiful. I couldn't handle them. Like that scene where Marigold is born, everyone's happy and then oh my god, she dies!! Those emotions and that shocking death! That scene surely is my favorite. I also liked how that rowdy girl changed into a woman when she holds her baby in her hands. It was very touching.

Another amazing thing was the way you made her get interested in the medical field. It's just so realistic that a woman like Poppy would desperately want to know what exactly was wrong with her baby and tries her best to do so. It was very very believable.

Oh, I really hoped she and Dewey would end up together! :( I sort of knew they wouldn't, but I always hoped. They make such a perfect couple. They balance each other out. But alas! I think what happened was for the best...

Overall, this was one of the most wonderful stories I have ever read. And the summary is beautiful too! I'm definitely going to read other stories on your author page. I loved your writing style!

I usually don't read one-shots over 5000 words and I'm also kind of uncomfortable with slash, but I'm very happy I gave this story a go. Now maybe I won't judge stories by their length and the ratings!

Well done! It was fun swapping with you and thanks for your review on Through The Darkest!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Awh thank you, I'm really glad you liked it!

I love writing about minor characters for precisely that reason. In canon they're just used to further the plot or whatever without being given much of a chance to have their own personalities or lives so being able to humanise them and work with what's essentially a blank slate and try and see how they would end up where they do in canon - it's just so much fun for me.

I tend to stream-of-consciousness write which is why I think there's a lot of abstract description, and I'm so so glad you like it! The scene with Marigold was actually one of the easiest to write, because by then I was so in Poppy's head that it was like I was feeling it all with her, and it totally just came out - I didn't even edit it at all.

I didn't plot much from the start but I knew that I wanted her to get into the medical field after losing Marigold... it actually took a much different path than I had originally thought it would but I'm happy with the result, ahaha.

Awh, I couldn't make her and Dewey end up together, sorry ;) Realistically tragic romances are kinda my thing :P I love the idea that they were probably soulmates, but being soulmates doesn't always mean you'll end up together. The world just got in the way. I'M PROBABLY REALLY MEAN BUT I LOVE WRITING SITUATIONS LIKE THAT.

I really hope I've managed to change your mind a bit about slash ratings on fic! Some people can be uncomfortable reading it because it seems unfamiliar, but really, a same-sex romance is just the same as any other, and if a fic's written well enough you won't even focus on the fact that the couple are same-sex.

Thanks so much for this awesome review!!

~Maia


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Review #17, by True AuthorPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

4th September 2014:
Wow, nothing excites me more than a real good mystery with just the right atmosphere. :D And let me say that the way you set this all up is just PERFECT.

The casino, an attractive girl and the pool table? That's a brilliant set up for a mystery novel. And you described it all using just the right words. You haven't revealed much about the plot or about your main character, but this chapter certainly lures the reader to the next. :)

Great job! Will be back to find out more! Was here for the Ravenclaw review battle. :)

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review!

I love mysteries, but I can NEVER guess the whodunit at the end. This is less of a mystery and more of an adventure/drama type thing, but I do tend to leave readers in the dark about a lot of details. (Keeping myself in the dark about them in the process, whoops.)

I like to be coy with the information that I weave into each chapter. Otherwise, how would anyone be interested enough to come back for more?

Thanks again! If you ever read some more, I would love to hear your thoughts!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #18, by True AuthorYou Are Part of Everything : Dear Prudence

3rd September 2014:
Hi! Here for our review swap!

No, Sirius why would you do that to her!! I can't believe he did this. He's one of my favorite characters. But anyways, that, unfortunately DOES sound like him. :( You wrote down the romantic part so nicely that the end makes me feel really bad for Prudence. And that's great for you I guess!

You managed to fit the lyrics with great effect. They are John Green's after all. Who wouldn't fall for anyone speaking them? ;)

Great job!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi there, Ashwini!

I know. That mean Sirius! He's one of my favorites, too, so to write him as such a jerk, was really hard for me. I am definitely guilty of romanticizing him. But, like you've said, what he did does, unfortunately, sound a bit like him.

I'm so glad that the emotions of this story came through and had you feeling bad for Prudence. I feel with an OC, it's a lot harder to have the reader sympathize with him or her. This was my first time using an OC as the main character, so I was really nervous. It's just so great to hear that you have enjoyed this!

Thank you so much for doing the swap and leaving such a lovely review!! I really appreciate it! ♥

xoxo Meg


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Review #19, by True AuthorViolet Hill: a glimpse of infinity.

1st September 2014:
Hello Kiana! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle!

I know you said you'd prefer a review on another story of yours, but slash isn't really my thing. I've seen people recommend this story a while ago and the summary is way too intriguing. So here I am! :)

The best thing about your story is the originality of your plot. This concept was rather a tough one and I'm amazed at the way you've handled it. It's amazing!

Wow, you have some beautiful imagery here. Making the scene take place when it's snowing was a VERY clever idea. It just made everything even more breathtaking.

Will be back for more!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!

It's fine, I understand, that's why I said I didn't mind what you read really. I'm so glad that you liked the originality about this as it means a lot to me. Thank you so much for the wonderful compliments, they really made me smile! :D

-Kiana


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Review #20, by True AuthorButterfly Effect: Prologue

12th August 2014:
Hi! Here for the review swap!

Wow, sounds like you've got a really interesting plot here. I thought this would be something else when I read the title and summary. So now I'm even more intrigued where the plot will go and how it goes with the title. :)

I loved how we got a glimpse of Zac and his mum before they died. That made the incident too real and effective. The last sentence is crazily intriguing and I just have to know what happens the poor girl :(

Great chapter! So sorry I'm a little late! RL is so busy that I'm hardly active on the site. I also know this is a really short review, but this was just the introduction so I promise I'll leave a detailed review for the next chapter. Hope I'll have some free time soon!

Ashwini

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Review #21, by True AuthorSomething to Live For: Interviewing a Foreigner

10th August 2014:
Hi there! Here for our review swap!

Wow, this does sound like an interesting story. It was a great introductory chapter, so I'm looking forward to read more. You have a great potential with this. :)

So... Is this country a real place? I've never heard about Salvadoria before. Maybe I'm really dumb about Geography, but if you made that up, it's great!!

Rosalind is a nice protagonist. She's an interesting character. I liked that you've provided just the right information about her- not too much to spoil the story but not scanty.

I'd just advise you to watch out for descriptions. When you go from one scene to another, it's a little bit jumpy. If you could fill that up, it would help you improve the plot. :)

Great job! Had fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you for stopping by :)

Haha yes, El Salvador is a real place but it's a veeerry small country (about the size of Massachusetts) so most people don't know where it is. Future chapters deal with Rosalind in that area, so I felt like I needed to reference it early.

Thank you! I wanted to portray an out of place character that is struggling to fit in a world she feels she doesn't belong in. They'll be a lot more about her past later on, most likely in her point of view.

Ahh yes D: I know my descriptions are wonky and I hate it! I think transitions are the most difficult for me and they come out choppy, but I am working on that. Thank you so much for your review! I had fun swapping with you as well :)

-Melissa


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Review #22, by True AuthorRed Silk: The Wedding

29th July 2014:
Hi there!

So I was a planning to read and review this for a while and then forgot about it. Today I came across this again and here I am! I'm indian and I had never seen a story set in India before. It was nice to see something original here. :)

Is any of you indian? The wedding atmosphere, the aunts and the overall descriptions were so perfect! If you're not Indian, you must have done quite a good research. Great job with that! And Gautama was all 'desi' too. ;) So adorable!

I loved Padma. She was a nice and funny narrator. I just loved the way their love bloomed during the wedding... It reminded of those nice romantic Hindi movies. :D

Great job! Will I see a sequel soon?

Ashwini

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Review #23, by True AuthorNo Turning Back: No Turning Back

14th July 2014:
Hi there! Here with the challenge review! :D

First of all, I MUST apologize for the wait. I'm so sorry! I've been really busy with a new clas I'm taking for nearly all of last month and then the House Cup kept me busy. I hope you understand dear!

Wow, I'm really impressed with the way you incorporated 'No Turning Back' with Harry/Cho. The ship and title didn't seem to fit with anything obvious as far as I could think, but you came up with a suitable idea and that's what I find most amazing about this entry. Great choice of plot I must say!

Harry/Cho isn't one of the pairings I like, so I found this story very believable. Harry was purely attracted to Cho, but still I found it believable that his heart gets confused after running into her after years. That was just like Harry! But I'm happy he chose not to turn back! Ginny's way too better that Cho. :D No turning back! I'm with you Harry. ;)

Cho was nearly perfection. The way she talked and also that she asked him to lunch with him was totally canon. Harry was just Harry! I liked his dialogue. Especially the last part. Even Harry's mental thought process was written quite well.

But I think you should give this a more dramatic touch. You can start by adding some interesting descriptions, these seem a little plain at some places. Create the scene artistically and it will work like magic! Also try to cut the dialogue a little and give Harry's thoughts a little more words. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, you can PM me. I'll be very happy to help you out.

Thanks for participating and congrats on winning the third place! You deserved it! :D

Ashwini

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Review #24, by True AuthorFear : Bogart

14th July 2014:
Hi there! Here with the challenge review! :D

I know I've posted the results nearly a month ago and this review is too late, but I've been unable to give HPFF as much time as I wanted to. Real life is currently very hectic. I hope you understand!

The best thing about this story was it's originality. The title and the ship don't go easily with each other, so it was a tough job to write a story combining them. But I was very very impressed. This was such a brilliant idea! Hats off for the extremely clever plot! The title fit everything perfectly. Great job!

Draco's characterization must have been the tricky part. I can certainly feel how hard that must have been. His feelings are so complicated and dark at the moment that they are like mess in his head. He loves Hermione so much that seeing her like this hurts. But he still continues to be there, that was so sweet of him! And seriously, Hermione not knowing who he is and waking up screaming because he's in her bed? That sounds too horrible!

The only suggestion I would make is to add a little more descriptions and make it a little longer. I think that would be very effective. It will help you add even more feeling to the whole idea and it will most surely make the reader cry.

Otherwise, this was a beautiful story. Great job!

Thanks for participating and congrats on winning the second place! You totally deserved it! :D

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini! I totally get that real life comes before everything else and I have no problem with that. (I just thought you night have forgotten, that was all!)
Thank you very much for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I had a lot of fun with this challenge, so thank you! I've been going over bits and pieces to try and improve, so hopefully that will be up soon. I appreciate your feedback and will try to extend it some more. And add more descriptions! Aww, thank you very much!
Lottie


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Review #25, by True AuthorIt's magic : It's magic

10th July 2014:
Wow, I just can't stop thinking about this. This makes me so sad! I mean, it's not her fault that she's a squib, is it? :( It's so bad that her relatives never accepted her let alone loved her. And she has to lose her parents too? Too sad.

And I'm totally amazed. This concept sounds so hard to write. You had to keep in mind that your narrator isn't a grown up and she doesn't really know about the magical world. Her parents hiding the truth from her made sense and I could also figure out that she must be a squib.

What a beautiful narration! I simply loved it. I could feel the innocence, the confusion and that evil feeling of revenge at the end. It was all so vividly portrayed that it made me think. It made me feel bad about all the squibs. I can actually sympathise with them. Even Filch. ;)

Gorgeous title! It's so perfect for the story. And it's meaningful. Really great job!

Ashwini

House Cup 2014 Review

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