Reading Reviews From Member: UnluckyStar57
  
698 Reviews Found

Review #26, by UnluckyStar57Always: Always

12th July 2014:
This was cute! However, I think that it moved really quickly. I like that you gave some background about the maturing process that James had undergone, but I found myself wishing to know more. And the "head conversation" that Lily had with "herself" was really funny and honest. I'm glad that she could admit her feelings for him.

I definitely think you should turn this into a short story! The kissing and snuggling moved a bit too quickly for my taste, but if you developed their relationship over a few more chapters, it might be well worth it! Great job on this!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes, I've worked out an idea for a short story. I reread the sotory after reading this review and even I felt the same thing about moving too fast. I'll try to play around a bit. Thank you so much for reading it!

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Review #27, by UnluckyStar57Thorns of Time: Thorns of Time

12th July 2014:
I like the idea of Penelope Clearwater having a bit of a dissociative fugue. She was always expected to excel, to be perfect, and it is totally understandable why she would want to escape from all that pressure. It takes a lot of courage to leave a place you've known your whole life, and I think it's awesome that she worked up the courage to get up and go where the road took her.

Percy Weasley? Nah. She doesn't need Percy Weasley to be happy. She has been self-reliant for so long that if he took her back, she would probably be miserable. Time and experience change people, and I think that when Penelope stepped off the train, she slipped back into her old self without realizing that it was a bad idea. The fact that she jumped back on the train to go on a new adventure is really wonderful. I'm super glad that she didn't cry about Percy's new life without her.

Great story!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read this, I really enjoyed hearing your thoughts. I'm glad you liked the ending, as well - I considered writing an interaction between them or extending this into a longer story, but I found myself visualizing something more like this happening.

Really appreciate this review, thanks!


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Review #28, by UnluckyStar57Interrupted: Interrupted- One Shot.

12th July 2014:
Awww, this was pretty cute. :)

It's totally okay to have headcanons that deviate from canon, and though this was a slight deviation, I think it was well worth it! Poor Ginny knows that Harry is going to leave so that maybe the people he loves will be safe, and she loves him so much that she doesn't want him to go. At least she can have that one last kiss as a memory to last her through the torture that Hogwarts became.

The only thing that was a little off about this story was that the last sentence in the penultimate paragraph was worded a bit awkwardly. Otherwise, it was a very well-written story! :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi! First and foremost thank you for reviewing, and yes, I like to think that that last kiss helped Ginny stand strong for the rest of her Harry-less year. I also thought that instead of portraying Ginny sad or angry she is somehow resignedly accepting of the fact that for hers and Harry's safety of body and mind it has to be done. And lastly thanks a lot for telling me about that weirdly worded sentence, it's already changed and waiting for validation. Again, thanks for reviewing. It means A LOT to me.

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Review #29, by UnluckyStar57Of Pygmy Puffs and Lingerie: In the Hogsmede branch

12th July 2014:
Ahahaha!!! This is so great!

I love the bromance that Teddy and George seem to have developed in the interval between the Talk and Teddy's birthday. And the Boy-Who-Lived lingerie is just PRICELESS. Gosh. :)

George is such a scoundrel. Pawning the awful twins off on Angelina because he's "behind in his schedule." As if! I do think that he understands his mother's difficult life a little better now, and maybe he understands how difficult he and Fred were to deal with in their childhood. :D

Teddy has become a suave little twerp, hasn't he?! And awkward!Harry is awkward! Hahaha, I laughed so much at the last line. This story is just silly and wonderful all around. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hehe... I'm glad you liked it! Ted and George (in my mind at least) would have very similar personalities, so I think it'd be only natural for their friendship to grow. Plus like... Teddy's older and less awkward. So that'd probably help their relationship a little! I have the feeling that Teddy's suaveness would have been influenced by George as well. It seems like something he'd be good at...and something that poor awkward Harry wouldn't excel in! Thank you so much for the amazing review!

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Review #30, by UnluckyStar57You. (Me).: You. (Me).

12th July 2014:
Oooh, this is so fantastic!

I love how you wove the myth of Narcissus and Echo in to the story, even going so far as to italicize your version of Echo: Teddy Lupin. Poor guy. He's so lovelorn and so torn up by Victoire's rejection of him that he can only sigh after her and think about how she doesn't know she's beautiful. (He may or may not have inspired the song by everyone's favorite British boy band... And no, I don't mean the Beatles.) :P

But as with Narcissus, Victoire seems to be cognizant of her beauty, and she stares at her reflection--but unlike Narcissus, she doesn't love it. But why should it keep her from being happy with someone? I'm not sure. It is a bit narcissistic of her to think that she's too beautiful for Teddy, but maybe that's the reason?

Great one-shot. I love how you picked and chose the elements of the myth to weave into the story. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #31, by UnluckyStar57Then, Now, and Forever: Then, Now, and Forever

12th July 2014:
Aw, this was so cute!

I like that Lily made the decision to break up with James in order to keep them both safe. That's a really hard decision to make, but it's also really mature. Too bad James isn't quite as mature as she is, because with him on her case, their reunion as a couple is inevitable. :)

Wow, Sirius and James are drunk monkeys! Climbing in the window at night... How much sillier can you get?! The dynamic duo is still at it, even after Hogwarts. :D

Aww, Lily, of course it's an illogical relationship, but that doesn't mean it's not a good one. ;)

Great work on this! I enjoyed reading it.

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Haha thanks so much for all the kind words! It means a lot to me, honestly. And I'm glad you enjoyed it(:
~XxLilyLunaxX


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Review #32, by UnluckyStar57Seven Years of Lily Evans: Seven Years of Lily Evans

12th July 2014:
Hahaha, wow. This is really cute, but it also analyzes Lily and Snape's deteriorating relationship over the years.

I like how people kept telling her that he was dangerous, and as time passed, her defense of him became weaker as he did things that were worse and worse. The fact that you accomplished all of this characterization in 150 words per year at Hogwarts is pretty incredible. :)

You are really good at dialogue. Dialogue was the majority of the story, and I found that I didn't need much description because I knew how the characters looked as they said their lines. Facial expressions, hand gestures, et cetera, was left up to interpretation, and it wsa pretty neat to imagine!

Marlene and Mary's relationship is cute. Sirius was quite shocked, though. :)

Great story!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #33, by UnluckyStar57Just Another Night: Just Another Night

12th July 2014:
Hahaha, I enjoyed the fact that you delved into the uglier side of the raging monster in Harry's chest from his sixth year. :) You really displayed all of the jealousy and anger that he was feeling in the books when he found out about Ginny and Dean. Except in this story, he seems to have admitted to himself that he felt things for her that were not... brotherly feelings. It's funny to read about jealous!Harry. :D

I think you did a great job with this. Not only with showing the emotions, but also with setting the scene and describing everyone's actions. Ron and Hermione are at it again? Not surprising at all! :)

Great one-shot!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #34, by UnluckyStar57What Makes A Man: It was too late

12th July 2014:
Hello!

It is interesting to think that Voldemort might have feared himself when he was at Hogwarts. I never considered it, but it makes sense--perhaps he was afraid of how much power he had acquired and how much damage he could do, but at the same time, he liked the feeling of it too much to give it up. Thanks for putting this into a new perspective!

It is also cool to see that in his mind, death is equated with powerlessness because death stole his life from him--I mean, the life he would've had if his mother had not died. And so he doesn't realize that death isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person until he is faced with his own death.

A very well-written take on Voldemort's infinitely messed up psyche! :)

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #35, by UnluckyStar57For Lily: One.

12th July 2014:
Oh, Snape. Such an interesting character, one that can be analyzed from so many different angles and still never fully pinned down.

I like that Snape admitted to himself that he was being terrible for not caring about Harry and James. James might have been mean to him, and Harry might have been James' son, but they're still people. People who Lily cared about. Snape might have given his decision a little more thought if he hadn't been so blinded by Voldemort's manifestos and promises.

I like that you portrayed Snape as in love with Lily, but also in love with the power that Voldemort offered. It makes sense for Snape to want power because for most of his life, he was powerless. If only he had known the cost of such power...

Great one-shot!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #36, by UnluckyStar57Initiation of a Death Eater: Initiation

12th July 2014:
Wow, this was a really powerful one-shot. I could see the Dark Lord's fury and resentment for Muggles and Muggleborns as he branded Draco with the Mark.

...Am I correct in assuming that the narrator was Draco? It seemed logical to me, because he's the only teenage Death Eater that I can think of (at least, in Harry's generation), but it was interesting to me that he played with Muggles while he was growing up. If it was Draco, this is a very unique facet of his character that I've never seen before. :)

Really great job!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: I kind of started out thinking of Draco, but now it's just kind of like an "every man" Death Eater.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #37, by UnluckyStar57Out of the Darkness: Into the Sun

12th July 2014:
Ooh, you incorporated the lyrics really well into this. :) It's a nice thought that Lily gave Harry some parting words before she died, that she assured him that she and James would always be there in spirit. Even if he doesn't remember them, it just reinforces the Love Shield that she later made. :)

One thing that I noticed is that you wrote "there's" instead of "there was" in the sentence: "He did not know thereís an evil wizard hunting him down." "There's" is a contraction for "there is." But that was the only typo that I could find.

Wonderful job with this! :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm always happy to hear I did the song and Lily justice. :)


Yeah? Oh... Thanks for pointing that out to me. ^_^


Hehe, thank you again! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Appreciate it! :D


- Asphodel


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Review #38, by UnluckyStar57Game Over: Chapter 6

12th July 2014:
Awesome! So it all comes around in the end. :)

Ugh, a dead boggart must be a REALLY bad thing if it makes fully-grown, fully-trained Aurors shudder in fear.

Ooh, Dann and James are keeping secrets! Matt is now the "Secret Thief," and he can't do anything about it because he's stuck in a crate with the boggart. And James gets to turn to the side of the law and respectable citizenry. :)

I kind of want a sequel now! Dann and James, partners who fight crime. It could be pretty interesting!

And again, I am really amazed that you were able to pull this whole thing off in just 3000 words. There was so much in this that I didn't feel the need for extensive backstory or nonsense like that. This was the bare essentials, and you really captured the scenes perfectly!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #39, by UnluckyStar57Game Over: Chapter 5

12th July 2014:
Ooooh, so Matt is Danni's brother! And a bad guy, to boot! Her boggart was him because she is AFRAID of him, not because she doesn't want him to die. D:

That's very tricky of Matt, to trick James and Danni into walking right into his trap. Luckily, James has a few tricks of his own! I wonder what a dead boggart will do to someone. I didn't even know that boggarts could die, but I'm sure that whatever it does, it won't be pretty.

Ooh, one more chapter! You do such a great job of moving the plot along in only 500 words. It's like a real novel in a condensed version. :)

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #40, by UnluckyStar57Game Over: Four

12th July 2014:
...Holy cow. I didn't see that coming!! And then I didn't see that other thing coming, either!

You hit me with a double-whammy in this chapter. Harry Potter=the mysterious Matt? But then, Harry Potter=the mysterious Matt=boggart?!?! What a conundrum! There's so much confusion that I don't even know what to do!

So James is a bad guy, but he doesn't want to be. His biggest fear is letting his father down, and stabbing a basilisk fang into his heart is definitely a good way to let him down... But there is hope! I hope that James can turn his life around after he gets out of this pickle. :)

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #41, by UnluckyStar57Game Over: Three

12th July 2014:
So someone stole the basilisk tooth, and James' job is to get it back. But the problem is, he isn't just dealing with Muggles ignorant of magic. He's dealing with wizards. That could pose a few problems!

Ooh, it looks like Matt is a bad guy or something... I'm probably wrong, but maybe... Maybe he put the Traceable Charm on the tooth because he knew that someone was going to steal it! And the group of super secret agents that James works for somehow knows that Matt is part of the opposing group...

Just a theory. Probably wrong. Reading on! :D

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #42, by UnluckyStar57Game Over: Two

12th July 2014:
The only thing I could think for most of this chapter was, "Ugh, clams." I get too caught up in the little details. :P Polyjuice Potion makes your breath smell like clams? Ugh, remind me to never take it!

The plot thickens even further as Dann questions James! Who is Matt to her? Her boyfriend? Her husband? Why does she think that he is dead? Is he a spy, too?

It seems a strange coincidence that fake Matt and a woman who knows the real Matt should be in the same place at the same time. Very suspicious...

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #43, by UnluckyStar57Game Over: One

12th July 2014:
Whoa! A mystery/spy story for the Every Word Counts Challenge! This is really cool, and you had to be super nifty with your words because you only had 500 for each chapter. :) I think that your use of language moves the story along very well, and I can already see the plot thickening as the previously unassuming woman ambushes James. But why has his life boiled down to taking pills to create a disguise? What is he doing at the Museum of Natural History?

I'm very curious to read the rest of the story!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #44, by UnluckyStar57Erised Stra Ehru Oy: The Mirror of Erised

12th July 2014:
So Albus Dumbledore could not take his own advice. That's so sad, and very poisonous to his psyche. His family will never be intact again, and they were never perfect to begin with. What he desires does not exist, and that is sad. I wish that he didn't have to go through all of that, but he was a proud, foolish teenager and now he's a broken, sad old man. I don't think that his visits to the mirror made him go insane, but I do believe it that he visited the mirror quite often. He was there when Harry got there, and he probably stayed for quite a long time after Harry left.

But that's a really long time to be miserable over your family, and it's truly terrible that he had to wallow in grief and guilt and regret for all those long years.

Brilliantly written! I've never heard the song, but it must be very sad if it caused you to write something like this. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hey there again!

I feel like a lot of advice that Albus gave out, he may not himself have followed it because it seems like something that he would do.

Albus was perfectly aware of exactly how dysfunctional his family was but I think throughout his entire life, he still dreamed of the perfect family that they could've been. That's the sad thing about the Mirror of Erised, it shows you what you can't have.

Oh I don't think his visits made him go insane either, he probably put a stop to the visits at some point.

Albus had a pretty broken life so I'm not all that surprised that he spent so much of it thinking about what could've been.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #45, by UnluckyStar57Knowing: true or not

12th July 2014:
Oooh, ouch. Remus/Lily/James. :/

It is wonderful that his friends accepted him, but I think that, in some ways, it meant more to him that Lily accepted him. Unrequited love really hurts, and Remus fell prey to the sting of heartache. And then he had to go to Lily's wedding to James, and just... ouch.

It is interesting to me that Remus would break up his friendship with James if Lily wanted to be his. I feel like Remus' friends are a huge part of his life, and why would he want to lose that? But love makes fools of us all...

Really brilliant work on this! It was so sad and lovelorn. :)

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #46, by UnluckyStar57Fracture: who do you see?

12th July 2014:
Well, I can certainly see that you hate Ted/Vic in this fic. :)

Of course, Teddy is thinking about Victoire, but he can't have her. He can only have Dominique, so he settles for "second best." (The quotations are because she's not really second best. She only thinks of herself as such.) It is so hard for Dominique to be in love with a guy who is in love with her sister, and the comparison of their bodies and physical features shows her insecurity. :/

I hate Teddy for saying the wrong name. That is just gross and indecent. So I guess you could say that you made me hate Ted/Vic, too. Well, in this version of events, at least. :)

Great work on this!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #47, by UnluckyStar57Useless: Useless

12th July 2014:
Awww, I saw the story title and I thought, "Ariana is not useless! She's so useful! She shouldn't think that about herself!" And then the ending happened, and I'm so glad that she finally felt useful. She was never useless to begin with. For someone who spent her life having to be taken care of by her family, she must've been really down on herself.

But she's useful in other ways. She kept Aberforth company. She forgave Albus and knew that he was not the one who killed her. She waited patiently until she could help, and her part in the war helped a LOT.

Great job on this!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #48, by UnluckyStar57Her Old Hands: Her Old Hands

12th July 2014:
Oh, this is so brilliant.

The attack on Augusta Longbottom by the Aurors is mentioned in the book, but I've never seen it fleshed out in fanficiton before. I love how you delved into her thoughts and her regrets, and it is supremely awesome that she was defending herself with her mind on Neville. It's so lovely to think that this attack is when she finally realized that Neville was his own person and should be treated as such.

"Not yet, Mr. Dawlish, you are not." Auggh! So sassy! I love Augusta Longbottom because of this line. And this story. You did a wonderful job. :D

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #49, by UnluckyStar57A Flash of Green Light: James and Lily

12th July 2014:
Oh, this was so sad and painful. :/

You always referred to Voldemort as "death." That's a pretty accurate name for him, especially since he came there for one purpose only, and that was to cause the death of three people. I think you really nailed down those horrors of war, and reading about Lily's inability to run like James told her to was terribly sad. :/

I think I've seen Anti-Apparition spells in fanfiction all the time, so it makes a lot of sense that Lily couldn't flee because of one. Why else would she just stay there? I'm sure she knew how to Apparate. It was a good detail to add to the story.

Great work!

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~UnluckyStar57

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Review #50, by UnluckyStar57The Snow is Silent: The Snow is Silent

12th July 2014:
Ooh, yes! I read this when you posted it, but I'm glad I didn't review it then because now I've read the Rime and I understand it (a little bit).

I think the comparison between Dumbledore and the Mariner is a really apt one. Ariana, like the Albatross, is a pure, innocent creature who doesn't want to do anyone harm. One could say that she's sort of a charm for the Dumbledore family--whether good luck or bad luck, it's not easy to say and it comes down to a matter of perspective. But then the battle happens and Albus must deal with the fallout: he loses the man he loves/his best friend, and after that, his life becomes a haunted one.

So yeah, I really love that comparison. So awesome! As usual, I am amazed by your use of simile and metaphor. They are never clunky or out of place, and figurative language really adds to the concepts that are in this story.

Brilliant work!

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~UnluckyStar57

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