Reading Reviews From Member: UnluckyStar57
  
479 Reviews Found

Review #26, by UnluckyStar57Journey to the Centre of (Mollyís) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Counting Stars

16th April 2014:
Hello! I remembered reading the first chapter of this story at the beginning of the year and I thought I would come back for more! :)

Ooh, different perspective! And it looks like Molly's going to be stuck with him for a few months as she travels around the world with him... Well, she wanted adventure, so that's what she's going to get, right?! :D

Heath is quite a character! Molly will have her hands full while trying to look after him--she'll have to keep him from falling off pyramids and such, hahaha. I love his friendship dynamic with Raj--Raj is so cool and I feel like he rolls his eyes at Heath a lot. :)

Hm. Heath is one of those journalist types... He has a rich father in America who wants him to take over the family business... He's DEFINITELY Agatha Painsley-Bumbershuffle's fiance--'scuse me, I meant EX-fiance! So little does Molly know that she's going to go on a journey with a "perfect" fiance, as he was described in the last chapter, which I reread before reading this one so that I could remember what was going on. :)

I love your style of writing so much! I hope that chapter 5 is coming easily for you, and I also hope that you update Not Normal soon! :D

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Bonjour! Welcome back!

Yes! Different perspective! I love Heath too much not to write from his point of view. No one would like him as much as I do if we only ever saw him from Molly's viewpoint. And Heath has so much adventure packed into his person, that Molly didn't even really need to go off around the world for a little taste of excitement. The poor thing has no idea what she's in for :P

I hope people warm up to Heath the way I did. He's really quite adorable once you get to know him. And there's a spin-off story on Raj in the pipeworks, so there's that to look forward to!

OMG. YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO GET THAT. I thought I was being really obvious about it, but then NO ONE MENTIONED IT. So then I thought I was being really sneaky about it. So shh! Don't tell anyone ;)

Chapter 5 is on the way! Hopefully it will arrive soon! And the next chapter of Not Normal is halfway there! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #27, by UnluckyStar57Bite Club: Prologue

16th April 2014:
Wow. I never thought that I would enjoy vampires after that awful book that teenage girls enjoy (Tw*l*ght), but if this story had a color, it would be dark red.

(Sorry if you actually like that book and I offended you...)

But really. Lucy is absolutely sane and absolutely insane all at the same time. She is a mad creature, full of jealousy--why else would she have been glad about Hugo's conversion?--and positively sick of being everyone's second choice. I think she's brilliant.

And why was Hugo so against spending time with her, even if they WERE being third and fourth wheels? What was so bad about her as a human? Why were her cousins always the favored ones? It's kind of sad that she had to bite one of her relatives to get him to spend time with her, but I think that it'll make for interesting situations in later chapters.

"And now your eyes are open, and you're gasping for air you don't actually need, and I'm kneeling over you, smiling at the blood red shade of your once blue eyes."~I don't know why, but this quote really stuck out to me. It's incredibly creepy for her to do that, but the scene that I pictured was really vivid because of all the colors in this sentence!!

I really hope that I can come back to read more very soon! :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #28, by UnluckyStar57Guilt : Guilt

16th April 2014:
My goodness, you're a poetic soul!!

There's something about your writing, you know? It just sings. I always enjoy reading your work because you absolutely know how to craft a sentence and weave it into the tapestry of the story that you're writing.

There are too many sentences that I could quote to tell you how musical and eerie they were, but I made myself choose only a small paragraph: "The house itself is a relic of the underworld. Grisly trophies are tucked away in the deepest recesses. The rich tapestries hide festering skeletons between the thick wooden panels." Malfoy Manor is so much a part of the Malfoy persona, and I think that you hit the nail on the head with this sentence. The imagery throughout the story--especially when Scorpius sees/imagines blood--is shrouded in death and funeral language. It's the sort of thing that I love to read, but it's going to give me nightmares tonight.

That Bible verse... Mmmmphhh!! More chills. The Malfoys are very Old Testament, and that verse just applies SO perfectly to this story. Very very chilling.

I really feel bad for poor little Scorpius and I wonder if he'll always see the ghosts. Perhaps when he grows up, his children will see them in his place. Whatever the situation, I hate it for him. :/ And I actually broke out into goose pimples when Lucius appeared. That's some terrifying stuff!

Keep on being brilliant and creepy and poetic!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Oh, you're so sweet! Thank you! I'm so pleased you liked this. Wow, thank you for all the lovely compliments. ♥

I really loved writing this and sort of getting in a poetic-inspired place to write it, so I'm really pleased that came through to you. Thank you - I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Malfoy manor and how it embodies the family. Don't worry haha, I'm with you about the nightmares - I can only read Poe during the day when I'm not home alone. :P

Yes! I found the Bible verse and the idea of generational sin and just thought it fit perfectly with the story. I'm so pleased you liked it.

Aw, I know! Poor Scorpius. My status on his character changes from day to day and story to story, but one theory I had for this story was that he would have no choice but to turn out as corrupt as the rest of the Malfoys, so the guilt kind of turns into true guilt for himself. But that's just one interpretation, I really wanted the best for him as well.

Thanks so much for the amazing review, it was a really wonderful surprise! :)


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Review #29, by UnluckyStar57Rite of Spring: Rite of Spring

16th April 2014:
THIS IS NOT AN EASTER STORY. Hoppy Eggstravaganza to you, but darn, is this ever creepy!! :D

Wow, the way you set the scene is so vivid and vibrant. I love how you painted a picture of this beautiful garden and then you put crows in it. Crows are creepy!! So this is just more proof that things are never as they seem!

Ugh, you used the prompt SO PERFECTLY. I mean, really, I was feeling kind of a creepy vibe when I wrote my one-shot with this prompt, but you give "horror" a whole new meaning here! I feel like this one isn't about the blood and guts--cheap thrills. No, it's a clammy, cold horror--like being touched by an Inferi.

Who was that girl who looked like Gabby? Did she drown herself in the lake like Virginia Woolf, her pockets full of rocks? Why has she come back to haunt Gabby? This story is such a beautiful enigma. I am simultaneously horrified and in awe. :)

Lovely, lovely writing. I think this is one of my favorite story submissions for the Eggstravaganza thus far (despite the fact that we're on opposing teams and all that). So kudos to you! :D

'Til next time!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Nope, not an Easter story. More pagan, maybe. I read the prompt and thought either supernatural or psychological thriller. The limit was too short for decent psychological, so supernatural it is! The others suggested fluff, and I'm one of those people who goes in for dark angst. You chose this prompt too? I might have to check that out, though don't keep refreshing in the hope of a review - unfortunately RL means I'm reading very little right now :( Of course it isn't blood and guts - I don't DO cheap thrills. Ever. End of.

Who was she? Who knows? Either her death was caused by the same thing that chased Gabby, or she was the cause. Perhaps she fell in - maybe she'd climbed high in the willow tree and fell into the water. Maybe she drowned herself. Maybe she was chased in the same way as Gabby, but she ran the other way...

Thank you! I'd say good luck in the eggstravaganza but you know... :P

-Leonore


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Review #30, by UnluckyStar57[ RELAPSE ]: Cigarettes, Whiskey, & Wine

16th April 2014:
Whoa! The story title says "Relapse," and that's certainly an accurate title! :D

So what I'm seeing right now is corruption on all sides. Astoria tries to seduce Draco even after their marriage has ended and she's been called in for questioning. The nerve of that woman! What did Draco see inside her mind? Is she actually innocent, or did he lie for her? Oooh, so much mystery!

And Hermione Granger!! What a surprise! I don't have much experience with Dramione, but darn, Hermione seems to have done a complete one-eighty since the War!! I guess that's what happens when your husband cheats on you... Well, good for her for trying to redefine herself. I hope that she can reach a happy medium between good girl and bad--unless she's converted completely to the dark side? *evil chuckles*

What really amazes me is the complete role reversal. Draco is being the good boy, trying to clear his name for his poor mummy, and Hermione has become the exact opposite of the bookish girl we used to know. It's kind of funny while also being quite severe!

I am very interested to see how their next encounter goes!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #31, by UnluckyStar57I guess that's what they call love : Well, that took an unexpected turn

16th April 2014:
Hello there!! :D

First of all, I would just like to say that you should not apologize if you think that people won't like your stories. Here at HPFF, there are lots of nice people who are willing to help you improve and who will encourage you with reviews and praise and such!! I'm one of those, so here we go!

I rather like this beginning! There isn't a whole bunch of background in the chapter, which is good because having too much background at the very beginning of a story can often give too much away. But it seems that conflict has already arisen because Rose's best friend has deserted her! Why did she do that? I guess we'll have to find out in the next chapter. :)

A few suggestions that I have will (I hope) help to streamline this chapter just a little bit.

First suggestion: You forgot to capitalize "Uncle Harry" and "Mum and Dad." Because "Mum" and "Dad" are the names that Rose and Hugo call their parents, those names should be capitalized.

Second suggestion/question: At one point, you mentioned that Rose pulled on a comfy sweater and some warm socks. Then she muses about the Christmas Ball. From what I can tell, they are going back to Hogwarts after the summer vacation. My concern about this is that Rose's outfit seems to be a bit off for what the weather might be like. I mean, I'm not from London, but I would assume that on the first day of September it would probably still be warm enough to wear short sleeves, maybe with a light jacket. I think that the clothes can really help establish what season it is, especially since I was confused at first about whether or not they were going back to school from WINTER vacation (but now I know that it's after the summer, so never mind that). :)

Great beginning! Keep up the good work!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll use your tips and then it will definitely be better :)

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Review #32, by UnluckyStar57The start of something...waif like: Chapter 1

16th April 2014:
Hello! I thought that I would come and review this story so that it wouldn't be lonely anymore. :)

Harry/Luna is an interesting pairing and I think you've managed to make it fairly believable. However, I wish that there were more to the story--something like a drawn-out romance in which Harry falls more in love with Luna's idiosyncrasies and quirks. :)

One suggestion that I have for you is that you should take a look at capitalization and dialogue tags. Sometimes you don't have a capital letter at the beginning of a bit of dialogue, and if you clean that up, it makes things easier to read.

Also, I just really find myself wishing to know MORE!! Did Luna feel the same for Harry at the wedding? Did she spend all year thinking about him while hunting for elusive magical creatures? I want to know, and I think that you should expand this story into more than just a one-shot! Who knows, it could be fun! :D

Good story! :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #33, by UnluckyStar57Tusk, Tusk: Molly - 1

16th April 2014:
Welcome back to HPFF!! I'm so glad you've come back!

This story is already off into the thick of things! I love the friendship that you established between Molly and Scorpius to start off, and then one drunken thing led to another and...

SMASH. Friendship is going to be different from now on, isn't it? I wonder what Rose and Albus will think when/if they find out that Scorpius and Molly are snogging? I can't wait to see the other PoVs as this story takes off!

Molly/Scorpius is a really unique pairing! I see a lot of Molly as the stodgy, uptight cousin that nobody really likes, and in this story, that's not the case. Sure, she's disillusioned by her relatives (aren't we all?), but she seems to be a bit of a trouble-maker herself. (Rule followers and alcohol rarely mix!) So I look forward to seeing her character develop as time goes on.

This is a brilliant start! Please update soon! :D

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hey! And thank you!

ahahaha, this was my favourite thing ever. I just love Molly, and of her personality here it was just fitting for her to have Scorpius to batter around! Something had to go astray, especially when firewhiskey is involved somehow ;D And I can assure you they all find out. Its going to be beautiful.

I once read a one-shot and then a story that made me completely change my view of how Molly was, and ever since, I could never live with myself by making her a mini-Percy. So instead she's - whatever this is. LOL. thanks so much for the lovely review, I hope the following chapters don't disappoint!


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Review #34, by UnluckyStar57Masks: Talk of Rabbits and Game-ception

16th April 2014:
Silly rabbit, salad is for eating (not for your face...).

Hahaha, this story seems pretty hilarious! Eilley Zabini, the girl with a thousand middle names, is an odd duck in a pit of snakes, so her personality must really get on their nerves! :) Her prank wars with Albus and James can only lead to trouble--the good kind, of course, for what would a story be without trouble? :D

I love how you made Eilley stand out from the other Slytherins by unmasking her, in a sense. She refuses to play their little games, and that's really cool of her--conformity is so overrated!

Uh oh... It seems that there's a bit of a love square-ish thing going on! Albus likes Eilley who likes Scorpius who likes Rose. What's going to happen with that?!?! It's too bad that Eilley hates Albus... Or maybe that's a good thing. Who knows? I guess I'll have to read some more to find out!

One suggestion that I have for this chapter is that you show scenes instead of telling about them. The blue paint bomb was a really interesting idea, and if it were placed into action in a scene with dialogue and anger and messy paint, it would be more vivid and it would add a lot to this chapter. But that's just a suggestion. :)

'Til next time!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hello UnluckyStar57! If you haven't noticed, I've come a ways since Albus in Wonderland... You are probably the first person who whole heartedly likes Eilley! As for the love square- well it is at the fetus stage- once you dive in a little more then it starts to get interesting... I wanted to write about the blue paint thing but people get hit in the face with all sorts of things besides salad and paint, and I was trying to avoid repetition there is a little less of an obvious story telling and scene showing as time goes on... You really are a dear for leaving such a nice review! I hope to see you lurking here again!
XOXOXOXOXOX,
LLG


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Review #35, by UnluckyStar57Escaping the Acheron: Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

16th April 2014:
Hello! Hoppy Eggstravaganza! I think we're on opposite teams, but I'm reviewing at you anyways... More reviews for my team, hahaha. ;)

So I really should have been reading this story all along, because I think that it's great!! You've got me hooked with just this first chapter!

Oooh, in the beginning, the look that George was going to give Fred... (But there was no Fred...) IT WILL NEVER NOT BE TOO SOON, if that makes any sense. Such sadness! :(

Look at Neville, being all authoritative and leadership-y! He's my favorite character right now. The War has certainly changed him, made him tougher and sadder, jsut as it has everyone else. I can definitely see the Herbology Professor that he will eventually become. :)

Hermione's former ambitions of becoming Head Girl obviously mean nothing now. It's funny what perspective and time can do to the goals people used to have. It's sad that she had to change so drastically, but I am sure that she's somewhat changed for the better--she's no longer the obnoxious know-it-all that Ron and Harry knew in first year.

Your characterization is brilliant, and the grammar is so fantastic! I love it when authors do that. :)

Review at you later! :D

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hoppy Eggstravaganza. Hoppy. Oh my gosh. That's fantastic.

Hoppy.

I'm laughing.

That's so sweet!!

I KNOW. IT'S NEVER NOT TOO SOON. IT'S SO PAINFUL.

I love Neville! I'm glad you liked what I did with him, as well as the development Hermione went through.

You're so kind!! I try to work really hard on characterization, so I'm pleased that you thought I did a good job!

Thank you for such a nice review! It put a huge smile on my face!!!

-Georgia


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Review #36, by UnluckyStar57A World Of Difference. : A World Of Difference.

16th April 2014:
Oh. My. GOSH!!!

The concept for this is so foreign, and yet so powerful!! I want it to be a novel!! :D

I'm actually serious. The story was fairly humorous, yes, but you turned a whole social hierarchy on its head! Just imagine what it would be like if that were actually the REAL order of things, with discrimination against purebloods instead of Muggleborns. It could be really cool to look at that in detail, to see Hermione acting the way Draco acted, but worse. I would totally read that if you turned it into a novel.

The beginning of the story sets the stage for all of the tension and violence that will occur later on. I love the imagery of the dripping ink, the way you paint it in all of its inky blackness.

Hermione is pure evil! At first I thought she was Bellatrix, it's that bad! D: It's funny what power can do to people, and obviously this Hermione has been given a lot of power. So poor Draco can't even keep up. It was hilarious and painful to watch him flounder around like that.

So, if you find the time, could you turn this into a novel? Or at least a short story? :)

May the Muse never desert you!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Someone gets it! Someone actually gets it! I posted this before and all the comments I had gotten were just how unrealistic it was. But, I wanted it to be that way.

I may be able to turn this into a short story, or do a spin off from it. I'm currently working on some other stuff, but I'll see what I can do :)

Thank you for your review, it made my day!


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Review #37, by UnluckyStar57snake: an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

16th April 2014:
Wow, this is such a different take on Slytherin's character! I am really amazed by it!!

You totally overturned some of my thoughts about him with this chapter. I've always imagined Salazar Slytherin to consider himself higher than women, and so, seeing that he was friends with two girls was really different. But he was an elitist later in life, so perhaps as a boy he was much less intolerant of people.

His mother, as well-meaning as she was, certainly laid the foundations for his elitist beliefs. Telling him that his friends were too stupid to appreciate him will lead to the belief that he is better than everyone who isn't magical, which will lead to other bad things... I am glad that he wasn't always this way, though.

But Ainslie and Haleigh were quite out of line with their hysteria. Of course they didn't understand what was going on, and for the time period, talking to snakes would've marked anyone as insane. But I can't help wishing that they'd even a little more curious than scared. Oh well... That's just the way things go.

As always, your writing is impeccable. I really enjoyed reading this!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #38, by UnluckyStar57Albus Potter and the New Lord: The Graveyard

16th April 2014:
This story looked intriguing, so I clicked upon it. And I wasn't disappointed!

This chapter isn't even 2000 words long, but already the words have moved the action into so many directions! I love how the action flowed, from the receiving of the letter to the graveyard to Lucius' room. Not a word was wasted!

Draco seems to have reformed since the War, if only to redeem his family name. Now this powerful Alpha guy is giving him no choice but to revert back to the old ways. He definitely has become Lucius in this scenario--a desperate guy trying to protect his family while serving an unrelenting master. I can't believe that evil keeps rising up, but that's just the way the world works in the HPverse. I can only hope that Albus Potter is as lucky as his father in trying to defeat this new foe!

Really suspenseful and interesting chapter! I hope to read more soon!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! Yup, evil is a pretty persistent thing in HP, sadly. Don't worry, I plan for Albus to live in the end (unlike Dumbeldore with Harry). But will he beat Alpha? Hhh! Suspense...

Thank you for reading and reviewing, and good luck with the Eggstravaganza!

-Karou


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Review #39, by UnluckyStar57Changing Of The Seasons: Prologue

16th April 2014:
Trouble in paradise for Dramione? Yes, please!

Well, not that it's a GOOD thing for them to have relationship difficulty, but everyone has that sometimes, don't they? And now that Hermione and Draco have a child together, things seem to be a bit awkward for them.

I really liked the scene in which Draco climbed into bed and didn't put his arm around Hermione or kiss her goodnight. Rather than telling about how the two are having relationship problems, you SHOWED it. I think that's a super valuable skill to have because it adds so many layers of meaning to the story! Well done!

The scene with Phoenix should have been cute, with Draco being all daddy-ish, but it turned out to be slightly sad and awkward because of his interaction with Hermione. The revelation that she had a complicated pregnancy only adds to that, and I wonder what happened to make them fall apart. They seem like strangers to each other, which is very sad. I hope they can work it out!

Brilliant prologue!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review. Its a real booster to know that people get the message that I am trying to convey and this is one of the most complicated ships as it is a ship that is destined to have problems.

It feels great to know that readers take alot of interest in what has been written. I really appreciate it x


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Review #40, by UnluckyStar57The Weirwood: Prologue

16th April 2014:
Hello!

I've never gotten into the Game of Thrones series--not enough time on my hands--but this chapter makes me want to read and find out all of the complexities that the series is so famous for! I don't usually read crossover fics, but because I am ignorant of the GoT universe, I thought I'd give this one a try.

And I'm really glad I did! Bran, with his disability and his Ravenclaw-ness, wishes to be a hero but feels that he cannot. I have a feeling that Jojen is going to show Bran that he CAN be a hero--but I'm not sure what will happen next. The wargs seemed familiar to me-perhaps I've read about them in Tolkien or something?-and despite Bran's belief that he isn't special, his powers set him apart.

I like that this is set in the Next Generation, as evidenced by Hugo Weasley. Will other NextGen characters play big roles in the story? Also, what elements from GoT have shown up in this chapter? (Sorry for my ignorance!) :)

This was very well-written and intriguing! I enjoyed it immensely!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hey there! I thoroughly recommend getting into Game of Thrones - it's addictive and it's honestly such a captivating universe - this is only exploring one element of it. I have written this story to be accessible to those who aren't familiar with the series, so I'm glad you decided to give this a go!

I'm not sure what other universes the wargs show up in - I think the term is possibly unique to ASOIAF, but the general concept has been explored in fantasy before.

The story's still in the early stages, of course, so I'm not sure how big the roles of other Next Gen characters are going to be, but they will definitely be popping up here and there.

As for the elements of Game of Thrones in the story so far - the characters are all Game of Thrones characters (except Hugo Weasley of course) and the concepts of Greensight and wargs, and the weirwood trees are all part of the ASOIAF universe. I have stuck as close as I can to Bran's original character - he was crippled in a fall at the age of seven, he has a wolf named Summer, and he dreamed of being a knight before his accident.

Thank you so much for the review and I hope you'll keep reading for later chapters!


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Review #41, by UnluckyStar57Downfall: The Stranger

16th April 2014:
Short chapter, but rather packed with enigmas and questions! I like it!

The language that you use to describe the scene is impeccable. I can see the contours of the Hogwarts grounds, just as I can see Lucius' hair and Morgana's black curls. It's really curious how fewer words can sometimes say more than many words can, and the glance between Lucius and Morgana definitely said a LOT.

And now I must ask a series of questions that popped into my head as I was reading. What were Morgana and Lucius doing out on the Hogwarts grounds at night? They weren't together, but they both had suspicious motives-Morgana's motive was, I guess, to watch the hippogriffs. But was Lucius out on Death Eater business or was he following her? (That's creepy...) Also, I find it really interesting that this is a Lucius/OC instead of a Lucius/Narcissa. Is Narcissa in the picture at all?

One significant glance, and the story begins! You wrote this chapter brilliantly. I hope that the Muse is being kind to you!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #42, by UnluckyStar57Sweet Madness: Cauldrons and Cheese

16th April 2014:
Hahaha, your author's note... Ring any bells. That's a good pun! :D

Oooh, Severus and Bertram are up to no good! Everything starts right in the middle of the action, so I'm not quite sure why they're feeding potions to people, but I'm sure that reasons will surface in later chapters. Poor Peter... He always gets the short end of the stick, doesn't he? What did they do to him and why?! Are they trying to stop the Marauders' party or do they have another reason?

Hah, Sirius and James are so bromantical. I don't know how Remus puts up with them, but he's a saint for doing so! I do think that they're a little bit insensitive (which makes sense, because they're teenage boys) to Peter--something is OBVIOUSLY wrong with him, but they write it off as his cheese-o-philia. And something tells me that they won't realize anything is wrong until too late...

The chapter read very smoothly and the action was easy to follow. I really enjoyed your portrayals of Snape and the Marauders because they seemed like themselves--except for more humorous. The party is bound to go wrong, and I'm sure it'll be a bumpy ride for them!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

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Review #43, by UnluckyStar57I Know: I Know

16th April 2014:
Hello, fellow Eggstravaganza team member! Luna Diggory forever!!

This was a very creepy little read! The set up was suspenseful and attention-grabbing, and the end was chilling. I like how it didn't end in Ginny's death or anything like that. Parvati just showed up again as a reminder that she is always watching... Always. That's somehow even more chilling because Ginny has to keep being reminded of the overwhelming guilt that she feels.

Whoo, all of the letters and messages that Parvati left for Ginny were insane! The first one especially-Parvati actually broke in to the Potter household! D: Obviously there's nothing that she WON'T do. This sort of insanity is simultaneously fascinating and terrifying, and you write it so well! :)

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hi fellow team member! And I so agree!! Luna Diggory is going to win!!

I'm glad!! I was actually planning for it to end in Ginny's death, but it felt too cliched. Not to mention, a bit unrealistic. Thank you! i'm glad you liked it because i didnt want it too seem like its just a lazy and easy way out!

Haha yeah :) Parvati does go a bit crazy- i hope that didnt seem too unrealistic! Thank you! Ive never written insanity before and as sadistic as it sounds =, i enjoy writing it :) So I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks again for the super sweet and awesome review! :D

- Curie :)


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Review #44, by UnluckyStar57Dominique Weasley, Unspeakable Extraordinaire : Prologue: And so it begins

16th April 2014:
Hahahahaha, this is a brief intro, but it's packed with funny gems!

I love the caricature that is Wally Gardiner. He seems to be certifiably insane, and I can't wait to meet him in later chapters. What is he working on that requires such random ingredients: a knowledge of Assyrian runes, billywigs, gurdyroots, et cetera? It all seems very random, but then again, nothing is ever random, is it? This will definitely amount to something--but what?!

Dominique, for her part, is fairly awesome. It's cool that she loves her job, even though her boss is crazy. I can't wait to learn more about her as the story progresses! Also, the rules of the Department made me giggle. :D

One grammar mistake: you said "bowls of the Department" when I think you meant "bowels of the Department." One measly vowel and the whole word changes! :P But that was the only odd thing that I saw.

Great intro!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

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Review #45, by UnluckyStar57The Wreckage: The Sortings

16th April 2014:
Hi! I've never read Bulldozer--shame on me!! This little chapter has convinced me that I should probably find time to do that in the future. :)

I love how you wrote little snippets of each character and the Sorting Hat's thoughts about them. It was fast-paced without being too quick, and it set up a good background without being too wordy. In short, it was fairly brilliant. :)

Aw, Albus got into Gryffindor because he was thinking about Kasy--am I right in thinking that? I wonder how they met on the platform and what took place for him to earn the nickname "Bulldozer?" I guess I'll have to read and find out, won't I?!

Rebecca wanted to be with Kasy, but obviously the Sorting Hat thought otherwise. I wonder how the twins are different and how the Sorting Hat knew that Rebecca wouldn't be a good fit for Gryffindor. She seems to be okay with the slightly more formal atmosphere that her emerald-clad comrades put off, so she'll hopefully do well in the house of the serpents. But is she an antagonist in the story? I wonder...

This is a really fantastic first chapter!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Pre-read is definitely going to helpful ;) Thanks for the review, and glad you liked it! :)

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Review #46, by UnluckyStar57Amor Mortem: Prologue: Goodbye

16th April 2014:
Wow, what a start to a story!

Giselle is a Crouch? And an older sister to dear old Barty Crouch Junior? That's something that I've never seen before, and I think it's brilliant! The Crouch family from an insider's perspective... And Giselle is an insider, but she definitely wishes that she wasn't!

I hate that her father is so strict about moving schools--why is that? Is it for her safety or something? When you set up the story, I thought that she was a seventh year student on her last day at Hogwarts, but that belief quickly went away as you exposed more information about Giselle's background. It was really neat how you didn't give all the information at once--it gave the story an air of suspense!

Awww, Sirius and Giselle seem like good friends. I hope that they can carry on their friendship, even though they'll be far apart. It was really funny when she slapped him--it was no more than he deserved, sneaking up on her like that! :D

Great beginning!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Thank you!!!
Yep, Giselle is in fact a Crouch, older sister to Barty which he hates haha!
I'm glad you like the beginning! :)


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Review #47, by UnluckyStar57Porcelain Hearts : Prologue

16th April 2014:
A story with scenes that are out of order is definitely my cup of tea! I'm so glad that I clicked on this one!

I love how you showed the betrayal first before showing the other scenes in their relationship. That really added to the suspense: Who is Bellamy? Why is she kissing Scorpius Malfoy? Why is James mad about it?

And those questions are answered (but only somewhat!) in the following scenes. Bellamy seems like a treacherous gal whereas James seems to be nothing but loyal. It's so cute that he proposed to her on Christmas Eve, but also sad because he had no idea what he was getting into.

Having the story told from the point of view of Hannah gives me a really brilliant glimpse into her mind at the same time that I'm seeing James and Bellamy's sad little love story. Why doesn't Hannah say anything to James about her feelings? What is she going to do now that James has found out about Bellamy and Scorpius? Also, why is Bellamy seeing Scorpius on the sly, and why does Hannah have to keep her secret?! I can't wait to find out more!!

The grammar and spelling in this chapter were superb, and I loved your descriptive language as well! The only mistake that I caught was that "Knight Bus" needs to be capitalized, as it is a proper noun.

I hope to come back to read the next chapters!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Ooh! Thank you for this lovely review! And I will go back and capitalize "Knight Bus" - thank you so much for pointing that out! And also, thank you for this review! It's given me more to work with in term of what I need to explain/expand upon.

Look forward to hearing what else you have to say as the story progresses :-)


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Review #48, by UnluckyStar57Unknown: Friends, Falling, and Fighting!

16th April 2014:
Hello!

This story has only just begun, and I can tell that it's going to be really fast-paced! Sofia is a strange character--apparently Dumbledore knows that she can talk, so she isn't actually mute. Why doesn't she talk to people? Why doesn't Lily know that she has the ability to speak? And why haven't the Marauders met her until now? So many questions!

This chapter was fairly easy to follow, but I could definitely use some more description! What does the scenery look like? How big are the compartments? What's going on with people around Sofia, Lily, and the Marauders (if there ARE any people around, that is!)?

It should be a wild ride on the Hogwarts Express for Sofia and the gang!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you for your review and when I was reading the chapters over I realized the missing students and everything. Hopefully in the future I'll fix that and add more details.

Thank you for the review!!!
SusanBones


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Review #49, by UnluckyStar57Vox wuod Sanctimonia; Speed Dating Entry: Cupiditas

16th April 2014:
Hi, Rumpel!!

It's been HOW LONG since the Speed Dating Challenge?! TWO MONTHS?! And I haven't reviewed you yet?! Well, let's fix that.

So, as I said a month ago, I really enjoyed working with you on this challenge! Founders Era is a really cool era to write because it's so medieval-y and you can pretty much do as you wish with the storyline because there isn't much in canon that is set in stone about the Founders.

I love that you've kept Salazar true to his pureblood ideology by juxtaposing his motives for founding a school with Godric's motives. He definitely has a vendetta against the vengeful Muggles and he's not afraid to show it! Plus, the house on the crags of Scotland really matches him--somewhere along the line he became like the house OR the house became like him. Either way, it's a reflection of his personality... Or the PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS of his personality...!

Because then he's in grump mode at Godric's house, just waiting for the inevitable arrival of the inestimable Rowena (whom he believes to be totally inappropriate and boundary-crossing). He's like the kid at a birthday party who didn't get to take his nap, hahaha--grumpy Salazar!

But then Rowena comes, and of course, she's nothing like he ever dreamed! She's beautiful and slightly sarcastic, and you know what? At the end of this, Salazar is starting to decide that maybe he likes powerful women. :D

I love the language that you use throughout this whole piece. I tried to match my style with yours, but the way you wrap the scenery in words is positively brilliant.

And can we talk about that ending?! Mmm mmm mmm, I STILL love it even though it's been a long time! I'm so glad that you're of a similar mold as I am: Romance is so awkward to write! I think we pulled off the start of a really good romance here, but I'm pretty glad that we don't have to write all the mushy-gushy stuff! :D

Thanks again for being an awesome partner!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

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Review #50, by UnluckyStar57I Don't Have a Say: I Don't Have a Say

16th April 2014:
Oooh, the Founders Challenge!! The world needs more Founders fiction in it, and I think that this fits the bill perfectly!

The atmosphere at the beginning of the story is very tense and scary--almost like it's about to boil over, which it does! I like how you described all of the Founders. I could picture them all in my head as they sat around staring at Salazar, waiting for something to happen. It makes me wonder how the discussion was going up to that point!

And then, BOOM. Godric and Salazar, no longer friends, have it out in an amazing display of power and a clashing of wills. The spells that they used--oh my! Helga and Rowena must have wanted to stop it, but maybe they knew that it was inevitable...

Seeing Salazar give instructions to his basilisk was really cool. It ties up the mythology set forth in CoS--how Salazar sealed the Chamber before he left--and gives it life and vivid detail. Very well done!

Great one-shot! Good luck in the challenge! :D

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: I don't know why, but people seem to be less interested in the Founder's. I'm glad you felt the tension. I intended that ^__^ And also the duel which I felt was kinda short-lived, but yet intense. Thanks so much for your thoughts and the review =D !

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