Reading Reviews From Member: UnluckyStar57
  
730 Reviews Found

Review #26, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: A Pack of Wild Dogs

1st August 2014:
What a mess. First of all, the aftermath of the kiss was really messy, and now that I'm looking back on everything, here begins the real back-and-forth that Fitz and Molly have in later chapters (though it progresses to some more serious stuff). They would be so good together, but at this stage, there is no way to make it work. And that kiss in chapter six was just a tease. Don't do things like that to my shipping emotions! D:

And then the team is just being awful. It's like they're five years old and they all had a fight about who ate the last cookie. And so they won't share their toys with each other or actually sit down and talk it out. Although he's the coach, Fitz is the worst five-year-old of them all. He could act his age and try to mediate between the factions, but he won't. He doesn't know how. Grr. (Also, sorry for the weird comparison. It's what I was thinking about, so I had to say it.) Unfortunately, this scenario that you've written is probably true-to-life. We all act petulant sometimes, and the Prides are in this awful funk. I love how realistic it is.

Ahahaha, I'm glad that things are taking a turn for the slightly-more-ridiculous now. The loss to Caerphilly wasn't as bad, obviously, but the retreat!! Hahahaha, that's going to be fun to reread. :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #27, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: Magpies and Mistakes

1st August 2014:
I think that this chapter just dialed up the heat a bit between Molly and Fitz. Ummm, yes. This is totally okay. :)

There's such a variety of moods in this chapter. It seemed like training was going a little bit better--Fitz got a broom that he could safely maneuver, after all, and things seemed to be looking up. But then the game happened, and that was just a disaster. It's clear that they're not gelling like they should, and they have A LOT to work on, in temperament and teamwork as well as Quidditch. Oooh, I can imagine the fight being incredibly scary to watch. It's a mark of Molly's confidence and team captain-ness that she didn't run off crying when Mariah started to blame her for everything. (I know I would have...)

AND THEN. Fitz is so interested in Molly, and vice versa... I can't stand it! It's perfect! I won't call it cute because that's not at all what it is, but still. Perfect. His discovery of her almost-inhuman neatness could add an interesting element to things later on, and his revelation to her that she makes him less angry is just... So perfect. Gah. I don't even know what to call it, but it was very, very awesome. And that kiss!

I love your characters so much. And I ship Molly and Fitz TOO much. :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #28, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: Drills and Defense

1st August 2014:
Holy cow... I ship them more with every chapter, and I feel like I'm not supposed to ship them yet. Rawwr, why are you doing this?! It's so adorable, but so tense! I can't stand it! I love it!

...Perhaps I don't even know what to feel. Fitz has obviously decided to take McCormack's advice and get it together, but his crush on Molly could make everything fall apart. Ditto for Molly. But even though they have these not-quite-there-yet feelings for each other, they're still clashing at almost every level--less so since Fitz asked for her help. It's not at all a simple relationship, and it keeps getting better with every chapter. The fact that McCormack basically nixed romance between team members only makes it more fun to read.

But it's not just a romance, and it will never be just a romance. They've got a Quidditch team to worry about, and they're both so driven that they won't think twice about putting their careers before their potential relationship. Still, that "do you think we have a chance?" double entendre kills me every time. Perhaps the team doesn't have a chance against Montrose, but a coach-player romance within the Prides is far less likely.

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #29, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: Flight and Family

1st August 2014:
"She might turn out like Rose."~Best line ever! Knowing Rose from the Midnight-verse, it made me giggle. :)

The time on the pitch made me realize another thing I really love about this story--the point of view. It drifts casually from one person's mind to the next, adding more characterization and tidbits of information along the way. And it's so natural and seamless. You must be magical to write something as awesomely as you wrote this story. (Or maybe you're just really fantastic at writing. Or both!)

And Lucy comes back! She and Hilarion are a cute couple. They're quite different from what one would expect--I mean, he's a super-handsome, famous person, and she's a woman who's probably really pretty in a shy kind of way. And it's definitely lurve. :D

Percy... What a goof. He's still pompous and quite overbearing, but it's sweet and fatherly now that he's a grandfather. He is incredibly pushy, but that's one of his most defining qualities. He wouldn't be Percy without it.

Also, I love the bromance that the Beaters have going on. They're silly. :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #30, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: The Dreaded Ex

1st August 2014:
NO WHY. I totally forgot about the utter feels-iness that I got from the end of chapter three until I read it just now. Urgh. That's brilliant stuff right there. (I'm sure that in the course of nineteen reviews, Ill say the word "brilliant" about a zillion times. Sorry.)

There's so much complexity in the Fitz-Molly relationship, even at this early stage. That makes it even more fun! Even though he's still being prideful and won't listen to her about the super-organized training schedule, I'm glad that he backed off at practice and let her lead a bit. He may be proud, but he isn't stupid. Molly knows what a good Quidditch team looks like, and if she can help make the Prides better, he's going to let her. The drinks thing was a nice touch--Molly is so good with people on top of her many other talents. :D

The confrontation between Mariah and Molly was... Not as heated as I was expecting. Mariah backed down really quickly, but there wasn't an air of fake politeness about it. It seemed fairly genuine to me, but I think I remember her causing some havoc later on.. Anyway, Molly handled the situation really well, which makes her a great choice for captain. :)

AND THEN THE FEELS. Urgh. I like to read romance that doesnt happen all at once, and while it's still fairly early in the story, it seems natural for there to be some attraction brewing between Molly and Fitz. They are both so passionate about Quidditch, and they admire that in each other. And they've got a raincheck for drinks already. ;) Out of all your wonderful ships in the Midnight-verse, I ship Mollyroy (Molly/Fitzroy) the most.

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #31, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: The New Lineup

1st August 2014:
...Did I forget to mention that we're having a day in your honor to celebrate all the hard work you've done for HPFF? Well, we are! Don't think that it hasn't gone unnoticed by the QTR editors, Ravenclaw House members, and other people on the site at large. As such, you deserve parades and medals and things like that, because you keep things running smoothly. Like, I hardly know how to use a tad bit of HTML coding for posting stories; I have no idea how you can do so much on this big, mysterious internet-thing. But I am ever-so-grateful for it. :D

Okay, so in this chapter it's pretty obvious that Molly and Fitz are polar opposites. I probably didn't pick up on it before, but she's got some serious organizational skills--to the point of OCD, almost. The Harpies' scheduling and drill setting is what she's used to, but Fitz isn't giving her that. And so, instead of sitting around and doing nothing, she goes and does something about it. Yay for her! Fitz's future temper issues are definitely foreshadowed here in his annoyance about Molly's takeover of the first practice.

One of the best things about this story is the tone. You balance tension with lightheartedness very well, and it is already clear that while romance will play some role in the story, it will mostly be about the rebuilding of a Quidditch team. That's really brilliant, and it's cool to think about how far the team has come in nineteen chapters (since I've read them already...). Seeing them in their humble beginnings again is really fun. :D

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #32, by UnluckyStar57The New Pride of Portree: The Harpy With the Mohawk

1st August 2014:
Hallo! :D

So, I've never tried my hand at graphics, and I can't offer to clean your house or give you 20% off at the store where I work, so instead I'm going to review-bomb you! I'm sure you'll get a lot of reviews in this 24-hour period, and I know that you deserve every single one of them. (Even though they're going to be a pain and a joy to answer, I'm sure!)

I've got to start off this review (well, the real part of the review) with a confession: I've been keeping up with this story ever since you started posting it. I read the Midnight Run series, as well as the spin-off about Roxy, Hilarion, Perry, and Lucy, so I'm pretty familiar with everything. But I think that this one is probably my favorite of all of those. I just love how different Molly is from how she's normally portrayed--not only is she a Quidditch player, but she also has a MOHAWK! And on top of that, she's super smart, super organized, and super good at being a leader.

I am absolutely in awe of your mad writing skills. You've got a definite knack for action, description, and character interaction, which moves the plot along nicely. I can see the development of the friction-generating relationship between Molly and Fitz in this chapter almost before it even starts. :)

Sad to say, because I don't have as much time as I'd like, these reviews will not be as long as I'd like them to be. And if I can't finish them all before 24 hours have elapsed, then I will get them finished before the end of next week. You deserve praise and adoration, for you are WeasleyTwinMom, only the coolest Head of House ever! :D

So, onward!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #33, by UnluckyStar57Nocturne: Nocturne

12th July 2014:
Insomnia. Of course Snape suffers from it, with his sallow skin and dark, brooding eyes. And of course, he's thinking of Lily Potter as he stays awake. I like the fact that she is connected to all of his Potions memories because she tutored him in Potions and then he went on to become a Potions genius. The imagery in this is really cool, and I love the way the potion bubbles over the cauldron.

Regret. That's what Snape feels all the time, poor man. I wish I could give him a hug. :/

Beautiful story! I like the title and how it implies night. :)

House CUp 2014 REview

~!UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: My Snape doesn't suffer from insomnia as much has having very restless thoughts at night that prevent him from sleeping easily (my headcanon anyway), but yes, of course Lily appears.

I wish I could give him a hug and a Sleeping Draught too :)

Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #34, by UnluckyStar57The Three Ds: Devotion.

12th July 2014:
Awww, missing Ron/Hermione moment as seen by Wilkie Twycross, Apparition expert. (Is that correct?) I love the way he saw it as he would see Apparition-with the three D's. Ron and Hermione were so cute together as they bickered and as he pushed her away, embarrassed about his eyebrow. With any other couple, it would just be silly.

You did a wonderful job telling the story through the eye of a third party. Especially incorporating the three D's, and in only 504 words! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you! I have a habit of listening to the audiobooks when I'm revising or doing a big university project or something, and I had completely forgotten about Wilkie and the apparition lessons and everything! And HBP is perf for doing Romione lovey missing moments... et voila!

Thank you so much for reviewing! And good luck in the rest of the House Cup!


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Review #35, by UnluckyStar57Thunderous: Shattering of the Sky

12th July 2014:
Oh no. I thought that this was going to be a happy thing, with the two running to greet each other in the rain after a long time apart, happy and smiling and joyful. But no. They've lost the thing that they wanted the most before they even got it. That's supremely terrible, especially since they'll be haunted by the baby things that they purchased in preparation.

The images in this story are so beautiful. I love the idea of the rain, and the running, and the sadness, while terrible, contained its own melancholic beauty. I can only hope that the rain will wash away their tears and that they can rebuild their happiness from there on. :/

Beautiful story.

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #36, by UnluckyStar57The Night Stands Still: midnight ponderings

12th July 2014:
Wow. I've never seen Lily Potter regret living in the Wizarding world. It is a highly interesting analysis, and I think that it's an apt one. Of course, she wouldn't just forget about her parents and her sister when she had to go into hiding and/or not tell them where she was to keep them safer. It's more realistic for her to miss them. She had a life before James--she was a Muggle--and the old way of life is comforting.

But James is who she leans on now, James is who she cares about, and who cares about her in return. I like that you said that they weren't perfect--because what relationship is?! I think you did a fantastic job with this. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #37, by UnluckyStar57Bereft: lion's pride

12th July 2014:
Argggh, this is so poetic and wonderful, and I just love the way you delved into Percy's mind. I've never seen him quite like this before, but I like it a lot. :) Looking back over the story, I can see Cartesian influences--I read Descartes' Discourse on Method in school this year, but most of it was somewhat over my head. :P

But I like the approach that you took, with Percy observing and analyzing all the little details of the world around him and then worrying about what to say to his family. He's the prodigal son, and Mr. Weasley welcomed him back with open arms. What a stellar ending. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #38, by UnluckyStar57Of Wrackspurts and Clothes Shops: Of Wrackspurts and Clothes Shops

12th July 2014:
Whoa. That escalated really quickly! :O

Pansy was really rude to Luna, who acted just like she always does. I like how you kept her very canon, despite her relationship with Draco, which is not canon. I would like to know how that came about, though. It's quite an interesting pairing, and the explanation is, no doubt, very complicated and entertaining.

I did think that it was a bit out of order for Draco to punch Pansy. They were in public, for goodness sakes! That's an awful thing to do, even if Pansy was being a cow. And I would've expected Luna to reprimand Draco for use of unnecessary violence, but I guess the war has changed them a lot...

This was a really interesting story. I'm glad I found it! The Druna dynamic is something that I'll need to look into a bit more. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you for all this feedback, I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #39, by UnluckyStar57Silly Girl: She's Just the Girl They Laugh at When She's Not Looking

12th July 2014:
Hi!

This was really interesting to read because the narrator and the narrator's love interest were not named. There were names mentioned, but they didn't seem to have any connection to what the two main characters' names might have been. In a way, that's when the story becomes universal--unrequited love can happen to almost anyone. It hurts, sure, but a lot of people go through it.

You gave little vignettes of scenes where this boy seemed to be interested in the narrator--or maybe he was just being himself and the narrator misinterpreted. That's the difficulty with a first person narrator--you can rarely trust a word they say. :) I am not even sure if she likes this boy anymore, because he's put her through so much.

I would like to see a second chapter of this, with maybe some names and further elaboration! :) I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I wanted it to be mysterious and easy to relate to because...let's face it, we've all been through it. I might do something similar soon, so keep on the look out. :) I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. And everything you described - perfect explanation of what I was trying to get across. You're amazing. :-) Thanks again!

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Review #40, by UnluckyStar57neither created nor destroyed.: i.

12th July 2014:
Wow, this is beautiful and poetic and sad.

I don't normally ship Dean and Luna, and this story didn't make me ship them so much as it made me think about what their relationship could have been like. I find it interesting and very fitting that they were not each other's "one and only." The horrors of war could definitely lead to them seeking comfort in the arms of several people.

But after seeing the beautiful scenes of them together, with him thinking about how much he'd like to draw her, to create something again, I sort of wish he'd asked her first. I love that you used his artistic ability in contrast to his extreme guilt about the man he killed, and also in contrast to the relationship that he inadvertently destroyed by not being the first one to ask Luna to marry him. And just when he was starting to draw again, too...

It was a beautiful thing to read. Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #41, by UnluckyStar57Task One Challenge: Chapter One

12th July 2014:
Wow, Salazar Slytherin is fiercely protective of his lady love!

Christianna seems like a brave person without being too bold and dominant, which is a good match for Salazar. I think that he would've wanted to wear the pants in the relationship, which he did in a major way! The flashback about the dragon was really neat. I could see it in my mind, blowing fire through its nostrils. :) The fact that Salazar was willing to go to battle with three men just to protect Christianna's honor is interesting and cool! I often think of Slytherin as the calculating one of the Founders, the one who won't go into a fight if he doesn't think he has a good chance of winning. Well, he obviously knew that he would win this one, because he was spurred on by his rage! :D

You did a brilliant job with this! I enjoyed reading it. :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #42, by UnluckyStar57Pride and Joy: Pride and Joy

12th July 2014:
Heehee. Hermione seems more like the parent than her parents do! I like that she has to explain everything about the magical world to them because they're so oblivious to the things that only wizards can see and experience. I would think that she would fail flying it it were a class, hahaha. So it's probably best that it isn't counted as one. :)

Where are they going on vacation? I would like to know! Are they going to visit Hermione's relatives? If so, they'd better not bring the report card along. That would certainly raise some questions! :)

I enjoyed the dialogue between Hermione and her parents. It was very sweet, an. I like that her dad is a bit of a sap. All in all, this was very cute and fun to read. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! I think Hermione's parents wouldn't be as used to the wizarding world after only one year, that Hermione spent mostly at school, so I decided to write them as oblivious (stealing your word). Since Flying is only a frst year class, and JKR never mentioned an exam for it I didn't count it as an actual subject.

I didn't have any specific destination in mind when I wrote this, and let's hope they leave the report card at home! :)



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Review #43, by UnluckyStar57Dreaming up Denial: Dream the Day Away

12th July 2014:
Oh! That ending, though. :)

I like that Rose inherited her fear of spiders from Ron. It's always funny when things like that happen, and the dancing spider was definitely a good catalyst for trouble. :) Rose seems to struggle a lot with her feelings for Scorpius--how she hates him so much for taking away the answer to the question and the House points that are "rightfully" hers, but she thinks about him all the time. She's definitely experiencing major conflict with her emotions. :P

But the ending revealed all. It makes a lot of sense for the pair to be together, but I can imagine that their relationship is rough at times. They like to get under each other's skin. It's cute and annoying at the same time. :)

This was really funny. I enjoyed reading it!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi there!
Thank you so much for reading my story! I can imagine that Rose would be the type of girl who would get very frustrated when she is beaten in something she excels at, which is why she talks about hating Scorpius and loving him at the same time :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
Thank you for your lovely review
Veela_is_me


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Review #44, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Checkmate

12th July 2014:
Well. That was. Interesting. Draco came out and Hermione was dead, so I thought that Draco had turned on her, but nope! Hermione the evil Death Eater was still alive and kicking! Geesh, did she offend you or something? You made her so evil in this story!

One thing that I noticed is that earlier in the story, you called the spell that changed Ginny the "incubus spell." In this chapter, she's an Inferius. Did you mean Inferius before, of is the incubus spell the right thing? (I don't know much about Inferi, but I was just curious.)

You didn't make canon turn crazy--you bent it, broke it, twisted it, and slapped it until it cried. This was a really brilliant story, and I enjoyed the incredible uniqueness of it. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar(7

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Review #45, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Into the clutches of the dark

12th July 2014:
Huh. So Ginny wasn't dead, but now she is? Or has she turned into an incubus?! So confused. Harry's rage at Dumbledore and the gang was pretty much within canon, though, so that wasn't too crazy. :) But poor Rom has to deal with the aftermath of loving a girl who is on the wrong side. And Hermione May or may not love Pansy. I still can't tell. :p

I like that you made Draco sort of lame. He's so very innocent and not at all sneer-y and bratty like he is in canon. And then Hermione persuades him to join the Dark side, and all is lost. I totally called it on Hermione being his weakness--but a lust for power also seems to factor into the equation. And now he's killed his mother...

This story is super dark! I wonder what will happen next...

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #46, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Phase One Complete

12th July 2014:
Holy cow. I did not see that coming. So Hermione is insane and she's dating Pansy (did I get that right?) and Draco's weakness is that he's in love with Hermione (I think). And the Ginny who snuggled with Harry in the last chapter is not actually Ginny at all-she's Pansy, a miserable spy. I like how Pansy has a major part in this, though. She's sort of overlooked sometimes. But dang, she is BAD!!

Ugh, I hate that Mrs. Weasley and Harry had to see that picture of Ginny. It must have been a terrifying sight to see. Does that mean that Ginny is dead, or are they keeping her alive to torture her some more? Hermione is a bad guy AND a sadist, it would seem!!

This keeps getting weirder and weirder... Great work! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #47, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Camouflaged Red

12th July 2014:
Oh wow. I don't even understand what just happened here. So my initial guess was right--Hermione is a Death Eater in this canon-crazy universe. Why did she turn to the dark side? And is she suddenly not a Muggleborn anymore? It's so very interesting to see her dissociating herself from her old life--what surname does she take now that Granger is taboo?

The three scenes all had Ginny in them, and it's interesting because she and Harry are dating in what looks like his fifth year. He asked her to the Yule Ball, which is another oddity. But then she's being tortured, and then she's snuggling with Harry. What's going on here?!?!

I like that the parts of canon that you're messing with are so familiar that I can recognize the things that are off and squint my eyes in puzzlement. I'm a huge fan of sticking to canon, but this story is really interesting. So I'm reading on now. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #48, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: The hooded figure

12th July 2014:
Oooh, I wonder who that could be!!! Maybe Hermione? ...Or would that be too crazy? I don't really know at this point... Draco was in a lot of pain because of his initiation into the dark side from Voldemort, and the mysterious female's kiss probably just confused him a lot. I think it's weird to hear of someone more devoted to the cause than Bellatrix, but we'll have to see who it is in the next chapter!!

Oh, by the way, I'm going to review-bomb this story in honor of the House Cup. It seems really intriguing and the first chapter is written in a very intense and cool style, so I know I'm going to enjoy it!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #49, by UnluckyStar57The Chamber- Task one Challenge : The Chamber

12th July 2014:
Salazar Slytherin seems like a bit of a pervert, hahaha. "No one will expect anything weird to be in a girls' bathroom"... Oh dear...

But then again, he's got big plans for the space underneath the bathrooms--evil plans. The only thing that I would say about this is that Hogwarts was founded before the toilet was invented, so while they might have had latrines of some sort (I'm not an expert on the medieval times, so I'm not completely sure), they probably would not have had pipes. That's just a nuance thing that I thought about.

But the fact that Slytherin Imperio'd Gryffindor--his best friend--is just super awful. I guess Gryffindor got in the way, but that's no excuse. It's awful to see friendships die, especially in the way that Gryffindor and Slytherin's friendship did.

This was really interesting to read, and I like how you incorporated all of the elements for the House Cup so smoothly!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #50, by UnluckyStar57Aresto Momentum: Time is my enemy

12th July 2014:
Oh, this was really sad. :/

Who was the narrator? Was it Hufflepuff? I didn't want to assume that it was Slytherin, because he was probably gone by that point, but you never know. :)

I like how Godric Gryffindor is in the library, of all places. Considering how Gryffindors don't often turn to the library to solve their problems, this says a lot about the sort of man Godric is. He's desperate for a cure for his dying colleague, and he would do anything, even read a book, to find one.

Poor Rowena, never learning about the fate of her daughter. Of course, it would've only broken her heart even more, but the fact that she never got to see Helena and she never knew the reason why is just very sad.

This was a wonderful story to read. Thanks for writing it! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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