Reading Reviews From Member: UnluckyStar57
  
698 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57Nocturne: Nocturne

12th July 2014:
Insomnia. Of course Snape suffers from it, with his sallow skin and dark, brooding eyes. And of course, he's thinking of Lily Potter as he stays awake. I like the fact that she is connected to all of his Potions memories because she tutored him in Potions and then he went on to become a Potions genius. The imagery in this is really cool, and I love the way the potion bubbles over the cauldron.

Regret. That's what Snape feels all the time, poor man. I wish I could give him a hug. :/

Beautiful story! I like the title and how it implies night. :)

House CUp 2014 REview

~!UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: My Snape doesn't suffer from insomnia as much has having very restless thoughts at night that prevent him from sleeping easily (my headcanon anyway), but yes, of course Lily appears.

I wish I could give him a hug and a Sleeping Draught too :)

Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57The Three Ds: Devotion.

12th July 2014:
Awww, missing Ron/Hermione moment as seen by Wilkie Twycross, Apparition expert. (Is that correct?) I love the way he saw it as he would see Apparition-with the three D's. Ron and Hermione were so cute together as they bickered and as he pushed her away, embarrassed about his eyebrow. With any other couple, it would just be silly.

You did a wonderful job telling the story through the eye of a third party. Especially incorporating the three D's, and in only 504 words! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you! I have a habit of listening to the audiobooks when I'm revising or doing a big university project or something, and I had completely forgotten about Wilkie and the apparition lessons and everything! And HBP is perf for doing Romione lovey missing moments... et voila!

Thank you so much for reviewing! And good luck in the rest of the House Cup!


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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57Thunderous: Shattering of the Sky

12th July 2014:
Oh no. I thought that this was going to be a happy thing, with the two running to greet each other in the rain after a long time apart, happy and smiling and joyful. But no. They've lost the thing that they wanted the most before they even got it. That's supremely terrible, especially since they'll be haunted by the baby things that they purchased in preparation.

The images in this story are so beautiful. I love the idea of the rain, and the running, and the sadness, while terrible, contained its own melancholic beauty. I can only hope that the rain will wash away their tears and that they can rebuild their happiness from there on. :/

Beautiful story.

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57The Night Stands Still: midnight ponderings

12th July 2014:
Wow. I've never seen Lily Potter regret living in the Wizarding world. It is a highly interesting analysis, and I think that it's an apt one. Of course, she wouldn't just forget about her parents and her sister when she had to go into hiding and/or not tell them where she was to keep them safer. It's more realistic for her to miss them. She had a life before James--she was a Muggle--and the old way of life is comforting.

But James is who she leans on now, James is who she cares about, and who cares about her in return. I like that you said that they weren't perfect--because what relationship is?! I think you did a fantastic job with this. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #5, by UnluckyStar57Bereft: lion's pride

12th July 2014:
Argggh, this is so poetic and wonderful, and I just love the way you delved into Percy's mind. I've never seen him quite like this before, but I like it a lot. :) Looking back over the story, I can see Cartesian influences--I read Descartes' Discourse on Method in school this year, but most of it was somewhat over my head. :P

But I like the approach that you took, with Percy observing and analyzing all the little details of the world around him and then worrying about what to say to his family. He's the prodigal son, and Mr. Weasley welcomed him back with open arms. What a stellar ending. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57Of Wrackspurts and Clothes Shops: Of Wrackspurts and Clothes Shops

12th July 2014:
Whoa. That escalated really quickly! :O

Pansy was really rude to Luna, who acted just like she always does. I like how you kept her very canon, despite her relationship with Draco, which is not canon. I would like to know how that came about, though. It's quite an interesting pairing, and the explanation is, no doubt, very complicated and entertaining.

I did think that it was a bit out of order for Draco to punch Pansy. They were in public, for goodness sakes! That's an awful thing to do, even if Pansy was being a cow. And I would've expected Luna to reprimand Draco for use of unnecessary violence, but I guess the war has changed them a lot...

This was a really interesting story. I'm glad I found it! The Druna dynamic is something that I'll need to look into a bit more. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57Silly Girl: She's Just the Girl They Laugh at When She's Not Looking

12th July 2014:
Hi!

This was really interesting to read because the narrator and the narrator's love interest were not named. There were names mentioned, but they didn't seem to have any connection to what the two main characters' names might have been. In a way, that's when the story becomes universal--unrequited love can happen to almost anyone. It hurts, sure, but a lot of people go through it.

You gave little vignettes of scenes where this boy seemed to be interested in the narrator--or maybe he was just being himself and the narrator misinterpreted. That's the difficulty with a first person narrator--you can rarely trust a word they say. :) I am not even sure if she likes this boy anymore, because he's put her through so much.

I would like to see a second chapter of this, with maybe some names and further elaboration! :) I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I wanted it to be mysterious and easy to relate to because...let's face it, we've all been through it. I might do something similar soon, so keep on the look out. :) I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. And everything you described - perfect explanation of what I was trying to get across. You're amazing. :-) Thanks again!

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Review #8, by UnluckyStar57neither created nor destroyed.: i.

12th July 2014:
Wow, this is beautiful and poetic and sad.

I don't normally ship Dean and Luna, and this story didn't make me ship them so much as it made me think about what their relationship could have been like. I find it interesting and very fitting that they were not each other's "one and only." The horrors of war could definitely lead to them seeking comfort in the arms of several people.

But after seeing the beautiful scenes of them together, with him thinking about how much he'd like to draw her, to create something again, I sort of wish he'd asked her first. I love that you used his artistic ability in contrast to his extreme guilt about the man he killed, and also in contrast to the relationship that he inadvertently destroyed by not being the first one to ask Luna to marry him. And just when he was starting to draw again, too...

It was a beautiful thing to read. Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57Task One Challenge: Chapter One

12th July 2014:
Wow, Salazar Slytherin is fiercely protective of his lady love!

Christianna seems like a brave person without being too bold and dominant, which is a good match for Salazar. I think that he would've wanted to wear the pants in the relationship, which he did in a major way! The flashback about the dragon was really neat. I could see it in my mind, blowing fire through its nostrils. :) The fact that Salazar was willing to go to battle with three men just to protect Christianna's honor is interesting and cool! I often think of Slytherin as the calculating one of the Founders, the one who won't go into a fight if he doesn't think he has a good chance of winning. Well, he obviously knew that he would win this one, because he was spurred on by his rage! :D

You did a brilliant job with this! I enjoyed reading it. :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57Pride and Joy: Pride and Joy

12th July 2014:
Heehee. Hermione seems more like the parent than her parents do! I like that she has to explain everything about the magical world to them because they're so oblivious to the things that only wizards can see and experience. I would think that she would fail flying it it were a class, hahaha. So it's probably best that it isn't counted as one. :)

Where are they going on vacation? I would like to know! Are they going to visit Hermione's relatives? If so, they'd better not bring the report card along. That would certainly raise some questions! :)

I enjoyed the dialogue between Hermione and her parents. It was very sweet, an. I like that her dad is a bit of a sap. All in all, this was very cute and fun to read. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! I think Hermione's parents wouldn't be as used to the wizarding world after only one year, that Hermione spent mostly at school, so I decided to write them as oblivious (stealing your word). Since Flying is only a frst year class, and JKR never mentioned an exam for it I didn't count it as an actual subject.

I didn't have any specific destination in mind when I wrote this, and let's hope they leave the report card at home! :)



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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57Dreaming up Denial: Dream the Day Away

12th July 2014:
Oh! That ending, though. :)

I like that Rose inherited her fear of spiders from Ron. It's always funny when things like that happen, and the dancing spider was definitely a good catalyst for trouble. :) Rose seems to struggle a lot with her feelings for Scorpius--how she hates him so much for taking away the answer to the question and the House points that are "rightfully" hers, but she thinks about him all the time. She's definitely experiencing major conflict with her emotions. :P

But the ending revealed all. It makes a lot of sense for the pair to be together, but I can imagine that their relationship is rough at times. They like to get under each other's skin. It's cute and annoying at the same time. :)

This was really funny. I enjoyed reading it!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi there!
Thank you so much for reading my story! I can imagine that Rose would be the type of girl who would get very frustrated when she is beaten in something she excels at, which is why she talks about hating Scorpius and loving him at the same time :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
Thank you for your lovely review
Veela_is_me


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Review #12, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Checkmate

12th July 2014:
Well. That was. Interesting. Draco came out and Hermione was dead, so I thought that Draco had turned on her, but nope! Hermione the evil Death Eater was still alive and kicking! Geesh, did she offend you or something? You made her so evil in this story!

One thing that I noticed is that earlier in the story, you called the spell that changed Ginny the "incubus spell." In this chapter, she's an Inferius. Did you mean Inferius before, of is the incubus spell the right thing? (I don't know much about Inferi, but I was just curious.)

You didn't make canon turn crazy--you bent it, broke it, twisted it, and slapped it until it cried. This was a really brilliant story, and I enjoyed the incredible uniqueness of it. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar(7

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Review #13, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Into the clutches of the dark

12th July 2014:
Huh. So Ginny wasn't dead, but now she is? Or has she turned into an incubus?! So confused. Harry's rage at Dumbledore and the gang was pretty much within canon, though, so that wasn't too crazy. :) But poor Rom has to deal with the aftermath of loving a girl who is on the wrong side. And Hermione May or may not love Pansy. I still can't tell. :p

I like that you made Draco sort of lame. He's so very innocent and not at all sneer-y and bratty like he is in canon. And then Hermione persuades him to join the Dark side, and all is lost. I totally called it on Hermione being his weakness--but a lust for power also seems to factor into the equation. And now he's killed his mother...

This story is super dark! I wonder what will happen next...

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #14, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Phase One Complete

12th July 2014:
Holy cow. I did not see that coming. So Hermione is insane and she's dating Pansy (did I get that right?) and Draco's weakness is that he's in love with Hermione (I think). And the Ginny who snuggled with Harry in the last chapter is not actually Ginny at all-she's Pansy, a miserable spy. I like how Pansy has a major part in this, though. She's sort of overlooked sometimes. But dang, she is BAD!!

Ugh, I hate that Mrs. Weasley and Harry had to see that picture of Ginny. It must have been a terrifying sight to see. Does that mean that Ginny is dead, or are they keeping her alive to torture her some more? Hermione is a bad guy AND a sadist, it would seem!!

This keeps getting weirder and weirder... Great work! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #15, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: Camouflaged Red

12th July 2014:
Oh wow. I don't even understand what just happened here. So my initial guess was right--Hermione is a Death Eater in this canon-crazy universe. Why did she turn to the dark side? And is she suddenly not a Muggleborn anymore? It's so very interesting to see her dissociating herself from her old life--what surname does she take now that Granger is taboo?

The three scenes all had Ginny in them, and it's interesting because she and Harry are dating in what looks like his fifth year. He asked her to the Yule Ball, which is another oddity. But then she's being tortured, and then she's snuggling with Harry. What's going on here?!?!

I like that the parts of canon that you're messing with are so familiar that I can recognize the things that are off and squint my eyes in puzzlement. I'm a huge fan of sticking to canon, but this story is really interesting. So I'm reading on now. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #16, by UnluckyStar57Evil Will Prevail: The hooded figure

12th July 2014:
Oooh, I wonder who that could be!!! Maybe Hermione? ...Or would that be too crazy? I don't really know at this point... Draco was in a lot of pain because of his initiation into the dark side from Voldemort, and the mysterious female's kiss probably just confused him a lot. I think it's weird to hear of someone more devoted to the cause than Bellatrix, but we'll have to see who it is in the next chapter!!

Oh, by the way, I'm going to review-bomb this story in honor of the House Cup. It seems really intriguing and the first chapter is written in a very intense and cool style, so I know I'm going to enjoy it!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #17, by UnluckyStar57The Chamber- Task one Challenge : The Chamber

12th July 2014:
Salazar Slytherin seems like a bit of a pervert, hahaha. "No one will expect anything weird to be in a girls' bathroom"... Oh dear...

But then again, he's got big plans for the space underneath the bathrooms--evil plans. The only thing that I would say about this is that Hogwarts was founded before the toilet was invented, so while they might have had latrines of some sort (I'm not an expert on the medieval times, so I'm not completely sure), they probably would not have had pipes. That's just a nuance thing that I thought about.

But the fact that Slytherin Imperio'd Gryffindor--his best friend--is just super awful. I guess Gryffindor got in the way, but that's no excuse. It's awful to see friendships die, especially in the way that Gryffindor and Slytherin's friendship did.

This was really interesting to read, and I like how you incorporated all of the elements for the House Cup so smoothly!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #18, by UnluckyStar57Aresto Momentum: Time is my enemy

12th July 2014:
Oh, this was really sad. :/

Who was the narrator? Was it Hufflepuff? I didn't want to assume that it was Slytherin, because he was probably gone by that point, but you never know. :)

I like how Godric Gryffindor is in the library, of all places. Considering how Gryffindors don't often turn to the library to solve their problems, this says a lot about the sort of man Godric is. He's desperate for a cure for his dying colleague, and he would do anything, even read a book, to find one.

Poor Rowena, never learning about the fate of her daughter. Of course, it would've only broken her heart even more, but the fact that she never got to see Helena and she never knew the reason why is just very sad.

This was a wonderful story to read. Thanks for writing it! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #19, by UnluckyStar57Waiting forever: Waiting

12th July 2014:
I've never really seen Godrowena (Godric/Rowena, hahaha), so this was really cool to read!

A few questions: Why were they keeping their relationship a secret? Was it taboo? Had they started Hogwarts yet, or is that an event in their future? And did Godric go off to fight in the Crusades?

Okay, no more questions. Now praise: I like the way you wrote their relationship. They obviously had a pretty equal balance of power, which is different from most relationships of that time period, in which the women were submissive. Rowena did wait for Godric instead of going to join him on the battlefield, but that makes sense in the context of its time. :)

Great job with this! It was fun to read such a different ship!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #20, by UnluckyStar57You Won't Forget: I

12th July 2014:
Oooh, Helgazar! It's one of those ships that are slightly unexpected because of their oppositeness, but when written well, it's completely shippable. :)

I love the way their thoughts interrupted each other's in the narrative. That way, I got to see inside both of their minds, and they both pretty much think the same thing. They are glad to have spouses, but they will never feel the same passion for the spouses that they did for each other. It's really kind of sad, and I think it would be hard to remain friends after having experienced such a love affair. I find it interesting that Salazar says the memories of his time with Helga are the most painful, but it is true that nearly everyone looks back on their failed relationships with tainted eyes. Even the happy memories are painful.

This was beautiful. You did a brilliant job with it. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #21, by UnluckyStar57Hues of the heart, house and home.: Colours

12th July 2014:
Wow, this was really amazing!

I love that your Founders speak in a tongue that is slightly antiquated and mystical, and that they chose colors to symbolize what they prize the most. The best explanation I've heard about the House colors is that Gryffindor gets gold because they always come in first place, and that's a bunch of nonsense. I like you explanation much better.

It seems that Slytherin is already being a bit rude to his colleagues--especially Gryffindor. Was that real resentment that I saw, or was it just their way of bantering back and forth?

A really thought-provoking read! I loved your explanations for all of the colors!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #22, by UnluckyStar57Unrequited: Unrequited

12th July 2014:
Well darn. High drama is the stuff that I eat for breakfast. :)

The Baron is so scary and dangerous. I knew as soon as he flashed the knife at the innkeeper that he was going to use it again... (Also, canon says that he does, but let's overlook that for the purpose of this story.) :) You described the scenes--of Rowena asking him to go, and of his rejection and murder and death--so vividly and with such dramatic language. The Baron is obviously one very messed up dude, and Helena is right to refuse him. However, it's not such a good thing for her, is it?

I like the parallels between his italicized thoughts at the end. She doesn't want him, so no one can have her, and he can't have her, so he doesn't want anyone. And he stabbed them both in the heart. Broken hearts--literally. That's some serious stuff!

You did a brilliant job with this. I enjoyed reading it!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #23, by UnluckyStar57The Grim's Curse: The Grim's Curse

12th July 2014:
Huh. This is a shivery one-shot, and a cool concept!

I hate that the Whisp has to see so much darkness and death everywhere. It made me shudder to learn about how James, Rose, and Scorpius would die. I also liked the short, terse sentences that you used to write this. It really helped characterize the narrator.

One suggestion that I have is that you turn this into a novel or something! The idea of Whisps intrigues me, and I want to know what other kinds of Whisps there are. Is there only one Whisp of each kind for every generation--i.e., one death Whisp, et cetera? I'm very curious! And also, does the Whisp in this one-shot know when he or she will die?

Really intriguing story! I certainly hope you write more!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi, UnluckyStar57, I may actually start a novel a few others have asked for this same thing also.

There are many more types of Whisps, and there is not generally a specific number of any kind. The Grim could make anyone a Whisp if he wanted.

I haven't thoroughly thought about what other kinds there will be, but there could be many.

There could be one that sees the births of people instead of the deaths.

There could be one that sees sick people and tries to help them (be it cure or cope with their problem(s)).

To answer your last question, I have decided to make the Dark Whisp re-incarnate after they die. No, they don't see when they die. Also, they can only see a person's death by looking at them for a certain amount of time, so unless they looked in the mirror (which wouldn't be a proper seek anyway, imo), he/she wouldn't be able to see their death.

I am happy you liked this story, it seems to be getting wonderful reviews :) Thanks so much for reading!


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Review #24, by UnluckyStar57Healer Vance : Emmeline Vance

12th July 2014:
Hi!

I have never seen a fanfic about Emmeline Vance before. I liked your take on her--she's smart and sharp as a tack. Her bedside manner at St. Mungo's is a bit abrupt, but she was trying to save a patient by acting quickly. She didn't have time for useless Healers who don't remember first year potions. :)

The one thing that I would recommend you look over is the point of view of the story. You started out in third person, but at the flashback, you switched to first and then stayed in first for the rest of the story. I would recommend choosing only one PoV, because the switch was slightly jarring.

Great story! I loved seeing a character like Emmeline, who isn't written very much, get a moment in the spotlight. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi!

I actually wrote this for an OotP Members challenge so that's why I picked her! There isn't much out there about her canonically I really took creative liberty with her, so I'm glad you liked her!! :)

Yes, I think I'm going to go back and edit the third person POV into first so it's consistent throughout. It would flow better, I agree! The reason I switched is because it's a bad habit (just read some of my middle chapters of my Dramione novel--nightmare!!) so I'm trying to get out of it haha.

Thanks so much for the lovely review and Emmeline Vance love! ♥ I might just have to write her a little companion story or something! :)
~MadiMalfoy x


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Review #25, by UnluckyStar57Friends: Friends

12th July 2014:
Whoa. Headcanon accepted!

This is so interesting. The repetition of the word "friends" was almost overwhelming, but I could definitely see inside Luna's head because of it. Because of that repeated word and her musing the mumbled names, I could tell that she was in an intense state of creative genius, and she should not be interrupted.

The Death Eaters must have thought so, too. I find this idea so fitting and cool, that she painted the mural right before she was taken. That's why it's part of my headcanon now. :)

I love this story!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response:
Hi!

I'm so happy that my story part of your headcanon. Your review really made me smile, thank you so much!!!

I hope that I didn't use the word 'friends' too much - when I originally wrote the story on Word, it seemed okay, but then when I look at it on the website, I can definitely understand its overwhelming-ness.

Thanks!!!
snufflesthedog

P.S. Apology for the overuse of exclamation marks.


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