Reading Reviews From Member: TearsIMustConceal
  
75 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TearsIMustConcealBehind His Desk: Behind His Desk

20th July 2015:
Hey Sam, i'm back again!

This story has completely wowed me. I was so confused at first but then I realised that this was the right way to feel because Dumbledore was feeling the same confusion. I couldn't understand at first and I thought that maybe he was sick, that these were the last days before he finally lost his life but then as I read on, it all became clear and made sense.

I love how depsite the fact he's a portrait, he and Minerva still have that same relationship - that she can still talk to him and he is still giving out words of wisdom to help her - he's just the same old Dumbledore, just in a portrait. I loved Snape's little cameo, it was there that I think I realised that Dumbledore was the portrait and Snape was too.

I think it's poignant that he has a list of fallen students with him, even in his portrait - their deaths obviously something that haunt him. I could imagine him sitting their when his mind is clearer, thinking about the things he could have done/things he should have done to save them/help them.

And once again, your writing has flawed me - you have such a way with words that I can't help but be captivated by them!

Amazing story Sam!

-vicki

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Review #2, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw

Hey Sam,

Is this really the last chapter? If it is, that makes me sad because I've really enjoyed reading this!

I love that they're finally together, sort of anyway! I love how you've explored Hannah's uncertainty about polyamory and her feelings towards Susan kissing someone else - she's been cheated so it makes sense that she would be a little on edge and unsure about what Susan is doing but Susan's explanation is perfect. I love how she explains sincerely to Hannah that she will never lie to her - Hannah really needs that and I think Susan knows this and that's why she takes the time out to explain the situation and then her own feelings about Hannah.

Hannah has grown so much as a character and you've done it so seamlessly and perfectly and I think Susan is the main reason for her change and it's definitely for the better. Susan is obviously what Hannah needs right now!

Your writing is just perfect - I may have mentioned that a few times by now but it truly is. This story was so beautifully done and I'm so glad i've read it!

I can't wait to read more of what you've done!

-Vicki

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Review #3, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: Off and Running

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw

Hey Sam,

The turnaround in Ernie - has he always been this much of a jerk and we just didn't see it? Or is he just good at the games he plays? Poor Hannah, she's wasted 7 years on him - that's a long time to waste on a jerk!

I completely understood her uncertainty at leaving - they've been together so long, it's hard to break away but i'm so glad she did - she deserves so much better! I'm actually glad Ernie said something horrible because I think if he hadn't, if he had been sweet and caring, Hannah would have given in but he ruined it and it made her strong enough to say she was leaving him, leaving him dumbfounded - at least he has his precious secretary!

I love seeing Hannah develop as this story goes on - I feel as though i'm on this journey with her and I feel proud that she is strong enough to turn around and leave all she's known and move on - I just wanna hug her and tell her well done!

Another amazing chapter!

-Vicki

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Review #4, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: I'm Coolin', No Foolin'

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw

Hey Sam, onto chapter 5!

I knew Hannah would turn to Susan and I'm glad she did - she really needs someone to lean on and I think Susan is the perfect choice! Being cheated on isn't nice and Hannah really didn't deserve it - she very obviously loved Ernie a lot!

I have to agree with Susan - Ernie was Hannah's whole world and it's such an easy thing to let happen - you can never pinpoint the exact moment it happens but you only feel the effects when it all goes wrong, like Hannah is now! But I feel as though this happening will make her stronger - that she would learn from this in the future! Ernie is just a jerk and Hannah needs to get shut of him - she deserves so much better than him! At least Susan is honest in her intentions - Ernie lied and it's the lying and lack of trust that is the hardest part!

Hopefully Hannah finds the strength to walk away from Ernie and become her own person!

Amazing chapter as always!

-Vicki

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Review #5, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: You Didn't Look 'Round

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw

Hey Sam,

Back for chapter 4!

Now I was not expecting that - talk about a bombshell! And there's me not wanting Hannah to hurt him! How dare he do that to Hannah? I feel like that moment is the catalyst for Hannah and Susan now!

But anyway onto the chapter - the beginning of the chapter was so cute and adorable - I really loved Hannah and Ernie together, their relationship is just so sweet! But now I know that this first part was just a way to make me feel happy before you ripped the carpet from under my feet, so to speak!

I hate that he made Hannah feel like an idiot for bringing up polyamory - I thought it was because he was just a traditional guy but now we know he's kissing his receptionist - what a hypocrite! Hannah has been feeling uneasy about lying to him about her feelings for Susan yet there he is, not caring that he's lying to her - bad Ernie!!

I honestly think now that instead of shouting at him, confronting him, she will turn to Susan and do what she wants and not care and she's got every right to! I can't wait to read on!

Your writing as usual is just amazing!

-Vicki

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Review #6, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: It's A Happening World

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw

Hey Sam, here for chapter 3!

Oooh, I really enjoyed this chapter!

I really love Susan and Hannah - everything between them seems so simple, so easy and maybe that's to do with Susan's outlook on life. They seem to fit so seamlessly and I am defintely rooting for them! But then I think of poor Ernie, Hannah really needs to tell him - I think he is too much of a nice guy to be lied to, especially about something like this but I don't think Hannah would ever intentionally hurt him.

Susan's way of life is so carefree and wonderful - wouldn't life be amazing if we all lived that way? And her ideas on love and how you can love more than one person, that you're not confined to loving just one person at a time - I feel as though she lives like this because she just enjoys being loved and who doesn't?

Your writing once again is just beautiful - the imagery in this chapter was perfect and wonderful! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

-Vicki

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Review #7, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw

Hey Sam,

When I clicked on the second chapter, I really wasn't expecting this at all but I like that - I was instantly suprised and I loved that!

I loved the realtionship between Hannah and Ernie - they seem so in sync and are just so cute. Ernie is just the cutest and just seems so lovely to Hannah - you can tell he really loves her which is so sweet! Hannah's character here is really far from what I usually think about her (she's the shy kinda girl in my eyes) but here you have her totally different and it's refreshing - I like that she's got personality!

Even when she is with Ernie, Susan is still in her thoughts - obviously this means something and I can't wait to find out what it is! I also like that you've mentioned that Ernie and Susan don't particularly get along - do we get to know why? Because I really want to know and I can see Susan getting inbetween Ernie and Hannah in the end, which is sad but i'm intrigued about Susan and Hannah so I don't mind too much!

Once again, this was an amazing chapter and i'm off to read the next one!

-Vicki

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Review #8, by TearsIMustConcealWhen I Go Out With You: Fools Rush In

20th July 2015:
Hey Sam,

House Cup 2015 Review - Ravenclaw


So, I adore minor characters so I knew I had to read this as soon as I saw it and I've never read anything about Hannah so I was definitely intrigued!

Your writing is incredible - it has such an amazing flow and all the words just seems magical and beautiful and yeah, just amazing! You really have a way with words! Every sentence fits with the next, like jigsaw pieces and it all just glides together wonderfully.

I love how you've described Hannah's feelings towards Susan - the build up, that first touch, the realisation and then trying to keep her cool in the face of her new found feelings - it was all realistic and perfect and I could easily see the scene play out in my head - you really did it justice, those first time feelings of meeting someone you haven't seen in a long time and realising that you feel something different. The whole scene was beautiful! Your descriptions are perfect and I can imagine everything that is happening really clearly - you're writing is really amazing!

Now i'm off to read the next chapter!

-Vicki

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Review #9, by TearsIMustConcealA Study in Silver: The Huddled Masses

17th June 2015:
Iím so sorry this has taken so long Roison! I promise the next time I review this story, Iíll do It super fast just to make up for your wait.

Awww, poor ScorpiusÖ.pureblood families never got a great deal with the whole name thing Ė I donít blame him for changing it and Perry is a much better fit for his eclectic personality. And his questioning of Roxanne, is this so he can get a better idea of her and how she fits into whatever he has planned?

Roxy in her muggle outfit Ė that was hilarious but I really wouldnít want to be in her position Ė putting olive oil on her hair? The poor girl and the lengths she has to go to be undercover! But her thoughts about going back to Diagon Alley, where she has been so many times Ė it was a really in depth look at her emotions and anxiety about being seen now sheís without her job and the idea of being seen by her family on her current state Ė it was really insightful and the scene was done extremely well (as was everything else, of course!)

Iím really intrigued now as to what happened for her to resign - malpractice and insubordination? Did she disobey her boss by not doing something illegal for him? Thatís the only explanation I can come up with but I canít wait to find out all the juicy details!

The whole scene in Camden Ė it was unbelievably realistic and I could really sympathise with Roxanne at the end of the scene. Drug dealers most of the time are just young boys looking to make money or theyíve gotten into the wrong crowd and the idea that he was just so normal and heís in that situation Ė almost the complete opposite to what Roxanne has had to endure in her life growing up Ė itís a real comparison to Ďhow the other half livesí even Roxanne isnít a snob about the way she grew up, the boundaries are still there.

The cinema cover up Ė itís such a clever idea and it really works as somewhere drug dealers can distribute without being seen or caught Ė no one would ever think of the cinema! Youíve really thought that through and itís amazing realistic!

And the owls at the end Ė I loved all of them, I felt like it lifted the chapter a little bit, especially after so much darkness with the drugs Ė it was a nice ending!

Now onto your concerns.

You have nothing to worry about pacing wise or that the chapters are too long Ė youíre pacing is spot on. Youíre not going too fast that Scorpius and Roxanne are figuring things out at a superhuman speed but itís also not too slow where you get bored of waiting for them to solve the obvious! And as for the length of the chapters, I think if they were shorter, you would miss out valuable information so theyíre just the right length, in my opinion anyway but I enjoy long chapters so Iím perhaps biased!

Youíve got no language issues whatsoever, it all flows perfectly, I didnít spot any clunky sentences and everything made sense as I read it Ė there was nowhere where I stopped and had to re-read and as for typos, I couldnít spot any so well done! And nothing was confusing, not to me anyway, I found everything was explained clearly and precisely and youíve really talked the paragraphs through, explaining in detail so it makes the story more vivid and easy to understand.

Anyway, again, I am sorry this took so long and I really canít wait to read the next chapter! This story is one of my favourites so far!!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hello! Yay thank you so much for the review, and no worries about the wait. HC has kind of taken over all my HPFFing, so it's totally cool :)

Oof, so yeah, I knew I wanted Scorpius as the Holmes character, but THAT NAME. I think we've gotten kind of used to it and taken it for granted, but SERIOUSLY. SCORPIUS. Rough.

I really wanted to make this story different from BBC's Sherlock, and one Holmesian trait they never really played up was the whole Master of Disguise thing, so I def wanted to do more of that in this story :) Roxanne is definitely having some anxiety and identity issues here. Glad that came across!

Hm, your guess is a good one, but I shan't say more ;)

Yeah, I think a lot of people kind of imagine drug dealers as nefarious two-dimensional thugs, which can be a bit reductionist. Cuz you know, cycle of poverty and all that jazz. Since I decided to go with a drugs plot for this story, I knew I wanted to offer a nuanced picture. So happy that that resonated! And yeah, Roxanne certainly isn't a snob, but her life so far has been somewhat insulated.

I'm so glad that you like this story! Thank you so much for this review!

xoxo
Roisin



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Review #10, by TearsIMustConcealBreathe: iii. Trapped

13th June 2015:
Hey Kayla, Iím here with your review! Iím so sorry itís taken so long, house cup madness got in the way, seeing as itís my first one! But here I am and here we go!

Anyway, onto to chapter three!

Now, Iím reviewing chapter 3 because I know you said youíve had a lot of feedback for chapters one and two and I know you were more worried about the later chapters so I hope you donít mind. Iíve read chapters one and two and they were both pretty amazing! The whole premise of this story is interesting and youíve dealt with all the emotion and feelings with the right amount of care. Siriusí feelings are genuinely heart-breaking and realistic and superbly written.

Now, as Iíve already said the whole premise of the story is wonderful and your writing is extremely good Ė youíve nailed all emotion and feeling and everything else and the way youíve included the hindi language in your story is like finding a hidden gem Ė it makes it different and diverse, which is obviously the idea, seeing as this story is for the diversity challenge.

As for the pacing of the story, Iíve think youíve got it spot on. Itís not too fast in a sense that one minute Sirius is on his own and then the next, James is the picture. Youíve drawn that out perfectly, having Sirius counting down the days until James is home from India is clever and realistic Ė it really adds something to story Ė I felt as though I was waiting with him, for James to come home and also the dread of waiting for his parents to come home too.

Your characterisation of all the characters is amazing! Youíve really captured Sirius and his emotions, now this isnít a Sirius Iím used to yet he feels the same and to me, that means your characterisation is amazing! Youíve also captured his family realistically and I like how you had Regulus try and interact with Sirius, to try and start a conversation with him. In most stories, they have no relationship but it tends to come from both sides but here, you can see Reg still cares for his brother, which is just sweet and lovely. Youíve got James down too Ė even though weíve only seen him through letters, theyíve really portrayed him and his character Ė him being the supportive best friend is spot on.

I really canít wait to read more, I want to see more interaction with James and Sirius face to face, and also Remus too. I want to know whatís really gone on there, why James was telling him to not write to him, I feel as though there is something more to story than just the prank. I think I might have an inking but I want to read on and find out for sure!

Overall, this is a really well written story and you honestly have nothing to be worried about. Iíve loved everything so far and I canít wait to read the next chapter!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hey Vicki! No problem, I understand :)

I'm more than okay with you reviewing chapter 3 rather than one of the earlier two!

That you've said that this isn't a Sirius you're used to but that he feels like Sirius to you and his emotions read genuinely to you means SO much to me! I am honestly so glad to hear that. It's a huge relief, because I know that this is Sirius portrayed more vulnerably than most people are used to, and I was worried that people would find him Mary Sue-y or something! That James works well for you is also good to know.

Knowing that you think the pacing is fine is a huge relief too! That's always my biggest worry when I write.

This review was just really reassuring for me and made me feel a lot more secure in this story. Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying this so much!

-Kayla


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Review #11, by TearsIMustConcealBlackness: Fear

12th June 2015:
Hey Kaitlin, here with your review! Iím so sorry itís taken so long, house cup craziness sort of took over, this being my first one and all!

First of all, let me say that this story was amazing Ė the detail was incredible, so vivid and heartbreaking! The scene at St. Mungoís was so realistic and perfectly done Ė you mirrored the emotions of both sides Ė the patient who is terrified about what is happening and the family member who is waiting for any kind of news to be given. The whole story is wonderfully done!

As for your concerns, flow is definitely not an issue. Each paragraph flows seamlessly into each other and I can easily keep up with what is happening with both Seamus and Dean. I think you have paced the story well and I donít think any of it is rushed Ė youíve taken time to describe what both Dean and Seamus are feeling and all of it works extremely well.

As for the distinguishing the POVs, at first I wasnít sure Ė I didnít realise that it was Seamus narrating at first but it soon made sense after Deanís POV and then it went back to Seamus once more. Perhaps you could space the paragraphs out a little more, make the POVs more distinguishable for the reader? I honestly think the rest of the POVs are easily recognised, due to the detail and inner turmoil each character is facing itís just the first part of the story that could be a little confusing. And as for who is talking, I think itís extremely clear Ė youíve used a lot of detail and a lot of emotion and itís this that makes it easy to know whether it is Dean or Seamus narrating. The heartbreak and anguish of both characters is wonderfully written!

I think the ending is sweet and it really made me feel warm and fuzzy! I love that Dean and Seamus got their happy ending! I think after so much pain and despair, itís only right that things look up for them both and they can live happily ever after! And I loved how Seamus was able to hit the target with his magic Ė he really did deserve to find a way through his ordeal!

Overall, this was an amazing, well written piece and youíve captured every emotion, every feeling realistically. I really felt everything Seamus and Dean were going through, and you switched from characters seamlessly and effortlessly. I really enjoyed reading this and I love that you shipped these two Ė itís the first time Iíve read Dean/Seamus but I must say, I quite enjoy the pairing!

You did an amazing job with this Kaitlin!

-Vicki

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Review #12, by TearsIMustConcealActions Speak Louder than Words: Bitter: Scorpius POV

6th June 2015:
Hey Beth! Here for the BvB review battle (and because I can never stay away too long!)

I love Scorpius and Alís relationship, itís almost brotherly and I love how Al is encouraging the relationship between Scorpius and Rose Ė heís really supportive and its super sweet! But then there is the other side of Al, his relationship with Harry makes him seem childish but I can completely understand where his feelings come from Ė he feels as though heís being treated unfairly, which is quite true except Al doesnít understand why Harry is so harsh on him but thatís realistic Ė parents go hard on their children and sometimes it seems unfair but itís done lovingly.

The duelling scene was done really well Ė I struggle with action but youíve managed to convey it convincingly and in a really brilliant way. And I love how Scorpius is the one to realise that things are going too far and that heís the one to step in Ė it really shows his connection with Al, that he knows when his best mate is close to being a little out of control and knows how to diffuse the tension Ė it really shows his maturity.

The only thing thatís not sitting well with me is the way Harry then shouted at Al after theyíd finished Ė I just canít picture it but I guess after a heated-up duel like the one theyíd just had, tensions would be high so maybe I can see it a little bit but otherwise, I just donít see Harry as the shouting type of Dad.

And S.N.A.K.E exams Ė thatís quite clever, I loved it!!

And Al at the end Ė I can really picture him doing that and Scorpius inwardly cursing Al as he left him in the awkward situation with Rose but Iím with Al Ė Iíd be pushing them together as well because it needs to happen now!!!

Anyway, once again, this was another amazing chapter and Iíll be reading the next one as soon as I can!!

-Vicki

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Review #13, by TearsIMustConcealHigh Romance: Prologue

6th June 2015:
Hey Laura, here for the BvB review battle!

I was planning on reading another chapter of ĎA Single Point in Timeí but then I saw this and it was a ScoRose, which is steadily becoming a new fave of mine, so here I am!

Laura, you have such a way with words Ė everything you write is just beautifully poetic. Youíve managed to describe what is usually a mundane, boring task of sitting in an airport, especially waiting for an early morning flight seem like the most beautiful experience in the world. Honestly, I am so jealous of your talent, your writing is just incredible. But as much as I could talk about your writing all day long, Iíll get onto the story!

Your descriptions are wonderful, I especially loved the bathroom scene Ė the too-harsh mirrors, to me, as vain as it might seem, is one of the worst things when youíre waiting for a delayed flight and your tired Ė itís one way to make yourself feel worse than you already do. Youíve managed to include every little detail perfectly and itís just wonderful.

I also love how youíve not given much away. From the russet hair and mascara, Iím guessing this is Rose who is in the airport and I like the mystery of what sheís been doing Ė from what I can gather, she either works for the Ministry or sheís perhaps a journalist of sorts but either way, youíve left me wanting to know more about her and what she does and why sheís doing it.

I absolutely loved this line: I hesitated as I boarded the plane. This Ė and then, what next? Tokyo was my last city to check off, my last report to write. And then Ė back to London, back to him? Was that how it was going to be?

It doesnít give a lot away about Rose and Scorpiusí relationship but itís enough to leave me intrigued and wanting to know more. Rose seems reluctant to go back for good, to go back to him and I really want to know why.

Anyway, as always, your writing is beautiful and youíve really got me intrigued with this story, I cannot wait for the next chapter.

-Vicki

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Review #14, by TearsIMustConcealA Study in Silver: Prologue: The Lodger

31st May 2015:
Hello Roisin, here for our review swap!!

Argh, this was absolutely amazing! Like, words do not describe this story! Itís so clever and thought out and really original (I know itís based on Sherlock holmes but still, itís original with respect to the HP world!) I love how you have Roxanne as the main character Ė she really deserves more love than she gets and youíve done such an amazing job characterising her!

Your description is beautiful! Youíve described every scene with so much detail that I can easily picture Roxanne in Diurn Alley, sat in Leonardoís, amongst the posh and the rich and famous. But I love her modesty Ė we know that she is from a famous family yet the lack of self-importance is refreshing. She doesnít think herself as part of that world and I love that! Sheís very down to earth and that really works in her favour!

Iím loving the whole enigma of why she is no longer a healer Ė itís intriguing and I really want to know why she is now unemployed Ė was she sacked? Did she quit? This mystery really adds to the whole concept of the story and makes it even more addictive than it already is!

The Sherlock references are genius! I knew instantly when she turned up at 221b Baker Street that this story was more than it seems and the whole Sherlock (and Iím guessing Roxanne will be Watson, so to speak?) just adds a whole other dimension to the story! I love Perry already Ė heís all over the place, in that mad-genius sort of way and it just fits! I feel as though he is the perfect complement to Roxanne, who seems very much together (aside from now being unemployed). He is so frustrating but thatís why I love him!

The whole drugs plot is genius Ė itís so original and interesting! I love how youíve entwined the muggle and wizarding world in this crime Ė itís really clever!

I love Harry and Roxanneís relationship Ė itís really genuine and caring. You can see that theyíre close and I understand Roxanne not wanting to take anything of Harry, seeing as he and Ginny paid for her tuition Ė itís hard taking money and hand-outs when youíre independent. And especially because she knows that she got herself in the situation she is in Ė I like her maturity in this Ė a lot of the Roxanneís we do see are very much like her father Ė the joker, etc Ė but here she is different and once again, itís really refreshing!

And I did not expect Perry to be Scorpius Ė that did not cross my mind once when I was reading this! But I love it, talk about a plot twist Ė I love how youíve managed to write a Scorpius that is not entwined with Rose Weasley Ė heís his own person, no matter how manical and hyper and I love it!

Anyway, this was an absolutely amazing story and I really canít wait to read the next chapters! Thanks for the review swap!!

-Vicki

(ps, your references were just genius!)

Author's Response: Hello! And GOSH, this review has me grinning like a fool! THANK YOU!

I knew I wanted to do a story with Scorpius as the "Holmes" figure, and Roxanne just immediately popped into my head as the Watson. Of all the nextgen kids (who are basically blank slates) she's always been the most interesting to me, and seemed the most innately charismatic. I'm really surprised more people don't write about her! It was never even a question for me!

I also hadn't totally intended for Scorpius' reveal to be a plot twist--I just couldn't face writing "SCORPIUS" over and over, and wanted to come up with an original nickname. Then thought I might as well turn it into a wacky reveal--I'm glad that worked out :D (Though if you squint at the banner, it totally gives it away!)

Ah yes, the mystery of what happens at St. Mungo's stretches out for quite a while ;)

I'm really glad that Perry is frustrating in a LOVABLE way--that was a difficult toggle for me to maintain, and at times I think he'll really challenge reader sympathy, but I HOPE at least that he stays kind of endearing throughout. He's a bit different from the original Holmes, or the BBC Sherlock, in that he's somewhat more childish and less cold. Also, since this story is way more about Roxanne, I wanted to kind of look at the Holmes/Watson dynamic in a slightly different light.

Yay I'm glad you like the drugs plot! It's funny, because I knew I wanted this story title to have a reference to "A Study in Scarlet" (since that's the first Holmes story), and wanted a color that started with S. So then I was like "Silver starts with S! What could be silver? Unicorn Blood? NO! DRUGS! There we go!"

I'm genuinely surprised by how much I LIKE Roxanne! Like, she almost feels like a friend or something, which is weird. She's a bit different from myself in various ways, but it still just felt so easy to write her. And I'm glad you like that she isn't a carbon-copy of her parents, I wanted her to have elements of both of them combined, but very much be her own person who had her own suite of experiences and developed differently. I also imagine that George's jokester ways would have toned down a little bit after the loss of Fred :(

Oh, and yay I'm so happy you liked the description! I worried at times that there wasn't enough, or that it was too dialog heavy, and worked really hard to keep everything balanced!

Thank you so much for the swap! Let me know if you ever want to swap again!

xoxo
Roisin





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Review #15, by TearsIMustConcealto the end of time: Should Have Said

30th May 2015:
Hey Claire, back again!

You're killing me here!!! I actually thought she was going to tell her and then she didn't! It was such a perfect opportunity!! I love how she notices that even though Lavender isn't looking her best, that she still has her sparkle - I feel like that is such a sweet moment. And their hug at the end of the first part and parvati feeling something was going to go wrong - you're breaking my heart here!

Parvati's realisation that Lavender's been hurt - it was so realistic and I could feel her need to get close to her, to see if she was okay. The moment between the twins - I really enjoyed that - it's nice to see them together, even if it is in such a sad, heart-breaking moment!

Trelawney dropping a crystal ball onto Greyback - I had completely forgotten about that so that made me laugh so much! It's such a Trelawney thing to do - I knew there was a reason I always loved the batty woman! And I love how it made Parvati laugh- it was a cute moment amongst all the sadness!

And the twins' hug at the end - it was such a special moment that I wanted to shed a little tear - it just showed how close they are which was very sweet!

Overall, this was another amazing chapter and I'm desperate to know more! and I also apologise if my review was all over the place, there were just so many feels!!

-Vicki

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Review #16, by TearsIMustConcealto the end of time: My Sweetheart

30th May 2015:
Hey Claire!!

I've missed reading this story so I figured whilst I have some free time, I would spend it reading and reviewing this because well, I absolutely love this story and will possibly always love this story!!

AND YAY FOR IT BEING LONGER THAN 8 CHAPTERS! It means I get to read more! This makes me so happy!!

Anyway, back to the story! I loved this moment so much!! Lavender is perfect here! She was so infatuated with Ron and Parvati's reaction to the necklace she bought him - her trying not to laugh - I can just imagine it and it was perfect!

Aww poor Parvati, still having to hide her feelings - I just want her to tell Lavender now!! She really does love her and only wants what's best for her - as best friends do and I understand her having to hold her tongue! You can see though, underneath Parvati' love for Lavender that there is still that genuine friendship, which must kill Parvati but at the same time, it gives her a reason to spend a lot of time with Lavender, even if it is just in a friendly way! I think Parvati realises that even if nothing comes of their potential realtionship (if she ever tells her) that they will always be friends!

Anyway, this was another amazing chapter and I can't wait to read the next one!!

-Vicki

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Review #17, by TearsIMustConcealCold Blood: It begins with pink

30th May 2015:
Hello Erin!

I figured it was about time I finally started to read this (I've heard amazing things!) so here I am!

I had genuine chills reading the first part! You completely drew me in - especially the way you used second person - I honestly felt as though I was part of the murder, that it was me there at the crime scene! This part is definitely a lesson on how to write in second person - you're the master Erin!

Anyway, I can't say I'm too upset about Umbridge being dead. Ginny's reaction, which was perfectly hilarious, really does mirror my own! I reckon that's how a lot of people felt when they found out by reading the Prophet. I loved Harry and Ginny here - they're such a sweet couple and you can really feel the love between them! It was an adorable scene!

Your portrayal of Ron is perfect - right down to the things he says!

"Bloody hell, I don't know really. There would be loads of people who'd have wanted to do her in."

It's such a Ron thing to say! And I like how you have him as the one who finds the only evidence there is! He's always portrayed as the bumbling sidekick but in reality, he did become an auror so he can't be stupid!

I'm trying so hard to work out who killed dear old Dolores - there are so many to choose from but I am determined that I will work this out before you reveal the killer! I'm now in detective mode!

Anyway, this was an amazing opening chapter (you did everything perfectly!) and I'm itching to read more! You've definitely got me hooked!

Vicki

PS. Your writing is truly amazing - I think I forgot to tell you that :)

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Review #18, by TearsIMustConcealActions Speak Louder than Words: Besotted: Rose POV

15th May 2015:
Hey Beth! Iím back again because I just couldnít stay away! And because you also asked me very nicely :)

So once again, this chapter was absolutely amazing! Youíre seriously giving Rose a hard time though! Her thoughts and feelings about her scars are heart-breaking Ė that everyone would be as repulsed as she was by them even though that is obviously not case and I hope she finally realises that! I canít even begin to imagine what she must have been through.

And Stannous Ė he is seriously evil, I didnít realise how evil until I realised he made his own torture curse up Ė that is a seriously unhinged, crazy thing to do. Will he be as evil as Voldemort? I feel as though heís going to be the big bad for the Next Gen so Iím guessing he will be appearing sometime soon?
But I love that now, she finally has the courage to look at the scars herself Ė it just shows you how far she has come and the influence Scorpius really has on her, which, thank god, she has finally realised!

Scorpius missing him Mum Ė Beth, what are you doing to me? Iím really upset now because heís just so cute and vulnerable and I want to hug him and make him feel better! His comparisons of Rose and his Mum Ė there so sweet and genuine Ė you can tell right there that he pretty much loves her so hopefully they admit it to each other soon! And then him comparing himself to his Dad Ė I still want to hug him Beth! Even though admittedly, he clearly was a bit of an idiot, heís hating himself and he doesnít deserve that, not really. He was just a teen going through a rough time, which Rose does understand.

And then we see a glimpse of Al and his protectiveness of Rose. I love Al and in his position, I would have done the same thing! I love how heís so close to Rose Ė I love strong family bonds!

And that little moment when sheís happy he told her that there hadnít been anyone else Ė my heart soared because itís so clear that they are destined to be together!!

But they didnít kiss! Do you know how much I wanted that kiss to happen? Please tell me it happens soon? Pretty please?

Oh Beth, this chapter was just amazingly cute and heart-breaking and inspiring because your writing is just brilliant! I canít wait to read the next chapter!!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hi there Vicki!

Gosh - your reviews are so in depth, it is really impressive.

You really do pick up on everything I put into the story. Yes! I wanted the next gen kids to have their own version of Voldemort to overcome, so I came up with Stannous.

Rose has a distorted view of her scars. They represent so much pain and torture - and the struggle to hide everything from her family.

Yeah, Scorpius is pretty sad here - but it gives Rose a chance to focus on something else for a while - and it is a good thing for her.

Haha - I decided to slow their pace for a little bit, here. I wanted it to be the real deal for them - and sometimes that means taking it a bit slower. But don't worry, you'll get your kiss ;)

Thanks again for all of these awesome reviews!

♥ Beth


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Review #19, by TearsIMustConcealAfter: One.

15th May 2015:
Hey!! Iím here with your review!

This story was absolutely heart-breaking! I knew it would be sad but I didnít how upset it would make me feel.

I just want to hug poor Amos! You can really feel his despair in every word and how devastated he is about losing Cedric. I couldnít imagine what it must feel like to lose a child so my heart goes out to him! Everything you wrote was a perfect realistic portrayal of Amos and in general, a parent in mourning.

I love the order of time youíve used here Ė it really shows that it doesnít matter how long ago it happened, whether it was a six months or just hours after, the pain is always there as a horrible reminder of what youíve lost!

The way he was reminded because Mrs Abbott found a tie and he lashed out Ė I totally get that. Even in everyday situations, ones that are not as extreme as this, certain items bring back floods of memories, both good and bad and itís hard to deal with those emotions!

I really didnít want his wife to leave him but that always seems to happen after the loss of a child. It makes you realise that sometimes children are the glue in a family unit and that when theyíre gone, sometimes thereís nothing left. It must be such a hard situation and even though she says that Amos isnít grieving, itís just because heís not grieving in the same way she is. And as you read on, you realise that he is grieving and that he feels guilty Ė that he feels he made Cedric take part in the Tri-Wizard just so he can brag. I really feel for Amos there because I couldnít even begin to imagine the inner turmoil heís feeling. Youíve really managed to capture his heart-break and emotion here!

PTSD is an area thatís hardly ever explored on here so well done for being brave and doing it and doing it in such an amazing way! Every word was heart-wrenching and the emotion was unbelievable!

I also love how youíve used the same line at the start and at the end Ė it really has an amazing effect!

Well done and good luck for the challenge!

-Vicki

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Review #20, by TearsIMustConcealMeals With Muggles : Burgers And Chips

15th May 2015:
Hi Kaitlin! I know you wanted your latest story reviewing but I reviewed it the other day so I hope you donít mind that I reviewed this instead!

I really loved this! It was such a random pairing that I was immediately drawn to it and just had to read it! Dudlietta must become a genuine thing!

The way youíve started this with foodÖ..your description is amazing and Iím seriously hungry right now! That croissant sounded amazing! And then it gets eaten by *shudders* pigeons. I had to skim over that bit because pigeons and I do not go together but that led me straight to the part where Marietta ends up in Dudleyís lap so itís fine!

I love how Dudley is not quite sure why Marietta would be flirting with him Ė this really fits with my head canon of Dudley. The only time he was ever Ďconfidentí was when he was bullying younger kids so it does make sense that he has a few insecurities, especially as he is still overweight Ė I love how youíve not changed him too much and I think itís really realistic!

Dudleyís reaction to finding out Marietta went to Hogwarts was enjoyable! Itís not surprising in the slightest that he acted the way he did Ė he didnít exactly have a good relationship with magic! But I do feel a little bad for him Ė he didnít have a good time at all!

And now I love how theyíre going to very clearly, bond over their mutual dislike of Harry Potter! Itís nice that heís found someone he can vent to who actually understands it all because I can imagine if Dudleyís ever spoken about Harry, heís always had to leave out the details! The comment about his tail and needing surgery Ė that made me laugh so much. I never thought how he would have gotten rid of it but that makes perfect sense although I bet that was hard to explain to muggle doctors!

And I love that Dudley was the one who asked Marietta out for a proper date Ė it was so cute. I love that heís happy!

I absolutely loved this! It was so much fun to read and I really think this needs to be carried on Ė Iím now officially a Dudlietta supporter!!

-Vicki

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Review #21, by TearsIMustConcealOil and Water: oil and water don't mix

14th May 2015:
Hi there! Iím here with your review and hoping I can cheer you up just a little bit!

This was beautiful. Words honestly do not do it justice because wow, I could have cried at how beautifully written this is and I probably would have but I donít particularly cry but I was pretty close! Your writing is phenomenal and this is pretty much a masterpiece, even though it only took you twenty minutes to write.

Your descriptions are wonderful and so vivid. I can picture every scene clearly in my mind and I can almost imagine being in Roseís place, there in those moments! And Roseís narration was simply beautiful (I canít help but use that word!) and so heart-breaking, especially at the end. I just feel the despair in her words, her desperation at being in that situation and not really gaining anything from it, except emptiness when Scorpius disappears again and sheís alone. I love how sheís not exactly like Hermione, strong and willful, but instead, sheís realistic with flaws and insecurities about herself.

And the metaphors, oh the metaphors. Each and every one was flawless! Especially Ice and Fire Ė I feel as though that described them perfectly. And the part about blue eyes meeting grey like the sea and rocks Ė just wow. Once again, I feel as though I have to tell you that your writing is just utterly brilliant!

The last part of the story was just heart-breaking. I could really feel Roseís emotions coming through there, like itís her one last attempt at salvaging whatever kind of relationship they have and making it real. He walks away, Iíve never particularly had any hard feelings towards Scorpius but now? Now I do, now I seriously dislike him. But I do feel with him walking away, maybe Rose would find the strength to be the person she wants to be and do what she wants to do - that heís no longer holding her and her dreams back.

Anyway, Iím running out of adjectives to say how amazingly perfect this story really was. Iím so glad Iíve read a piece of your work Ė Iíll definitely be reading more in the future!

I hope Iíve managed to cheer you a little bit and that everything gets better soon!

-Vicki

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Review #22, by TearsIMustConcealSweet Sorrow: Only A Memory

14th May 2015:
Hi there! Iím here with your review!

I absolutely loved this! Youíve shown that it doesnít take a lot of words to tell a whole story and in such a beautiful way!

I loved how in the few words youíve written, we see the evolution of Lily and Jamesí relationship, from beginning to end and youíve done it in a wonderful way! Itís lovely to see Lilyís thoughts on James that donít just go on about how much she dislikes him but I guess that comes from her maturity, which you really get across well, and also the fact she is reflecting on their relationship and the life theyíve had together Ė which makes perfect sense when you reach the end of the story, which is just heart-breaking but Iíll reach that in a minute.

But I know as I was reading this, I was dreading reaching the end because we all know how it ends.

"Although, the hat didn't deem you Gryffindor for nothing." This line just sums James up perfectly for me Ė that in the end, she had some affection for the way he never gave up on her and grew to admire his Gryffindor traits.

And as for THAT last line Ė oh the feels. I must admit, it took me a few minutes of re-reading what you meant at first but then I realised and then the emotions hit me and knocked me down! What a last line! I have to bow down to you for it because that is how you end a tragically beautiful James/Lily one-shot!

This whole thing was truly beautiful and Iím so glad Iíve read this!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hi Vicky!


Aww! I'm you enjoyed reading this - however tragic this one-shot is. Thank you for that, and it was hard by the way to keep it short as I was aiming for "Every Word Counts" challenge again.


Haha, yes, a very James-y summary. Yes, I didn't think of it that way at first, when you said that even Lily matured in a way - when you said her not just seeing only James flaws, but maybe his perfections she liked or ended up accepting of his flaws.


I'm happy you were able to understand the ending! Aww, thank you, thank you!


Thanks for your lovely words! Thank you! Thank you for reading and reviewing!



- Asphodel


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Review #23, by TearsIMustConcealDreams of Hope : Dreams of Hope

14th May 2015:
Hi Panda, Iím here with your review!

First of all, I hope you donít mind that I chose this story to review? I was really drawn in by the title and then when I realised it was Lupin, well I just had to review it!!

The way youíve characterised Remus here is wonderful. The description you give of him Ė scrawny looking, wearing torn robes Ė is just perfect and itís exactly how I imagine him! I could also feel all of his emotions Ė his hesitance in asking for a job, believing he could harm the students, his inferiority at being back at Hogwarts and in front of Dumbledore and then his utter amazement that Dumbledore would ever consider him for a job Ė and to think he was happy to work alongside Hagrid. I just wanted to hug him there and then and tell him heís worth more than he thinks he is! Youíve characterised Remus just perfectly!

I also loved Remusí musings on his time spent at Hogwarts Ė all the fun he had with The Marauders Ė you can really sense that he always felt at home in Hogwarts and it was where he felt he truly belonged. His memories are just lovely and I can really imagine him doing all those things alongside the Marauders, James and Sirius especially.

Dumbledore is your usual Dumbledore and I love him for instantly coming to Remusí defence and really puts emphasis on that Remus is always welcome at Hogwarts and that he neednít worry about anything because heís not the monster he believes he is but instead, a wonderful man.

I also love how you have him asking whether he can ride the Hogwarts Express Ė I think this is just so cute and it makes perfect sense as to why he would want to Ė I guess the journey home on the train would have been the last time the Marauders were all carefree and happy and that must have held so many memories for him!

Anyway, this story is absolutely wonderful and I can see why it won the challenge!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hey, Vicki!
Thank you so so much for this review! The reason I'm only now getting around to replying to it is because I had no idea how to respond! I loved it!

I'm so happy that you found the characterization of Remus and Dumbledore "perfect". I put a lot of thought and energy into their characters. They are both amazing people and I had to write them perfectly.

I'm also really glad that you enjoyed the little touches I added like the memories and the Hogwarts Express. It seems that they got the point I was hoping to achieve across!

Thank you again for reviewing.
~Panda


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Review #24, by TearsIMustConcealCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Eavesdropping in the Corridor

14th May 2015:
Hey Branwen, Iím here with your review!

Iím so glad Iíve been able to come back to this story! I read this chapter a while ago and meant to review it because I loved it but I forgot so Iím glad Iíve been able to come back to it!

Rose really canít help herself can she? But I guess her eavesdropping makes sense when you compare it to the title of the story Ė she is far too curious for her own good but she finds out the best things when she does it!

But that conversation!! I want to squeal!! So many feels right now! I didnít see that revelation coming at all! I just expected the conversation to be about how much Scorpius thinks Rose and James and Roxanne are idiots and how much he dislikes them but then you dropped THAT bombshell and I was unprepared!

I loved Albus and how heís in the middle of them both, but he's not too biased for either side. I mean yes, he is standing up Rose and his brother, telling Scorpius that theyíre not really jerks deep down but heís not blind to Roseís flaws. Heís just super cute and chilled and I just adore him!

Poor Scorpius, his emotions must be all over the place! I understand his dislike for Rose but at the same time, I can feel (well especially after that revelation) that there is an underlying feeling there, one heís just not sure about. They do say there is a thin line between love and hate! I would love to see what happened over summer and just how obvious he might have been with his attraction to Rose.
Anyway, I absolutely adored this chapter and I canít wait to read the next one!

-Vicki

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Review #25, by TearsIMustConcealIt Used To Be Worse Here : It Used To Be Worse Here

14th May 2015:
Hey, here for our second review swap!

Wow. This was justÖwow. Iíve never read a Scorbus fic before because for some reason, it never appealed to me but this was amazing!

I didnít realise where Albus was at first but after re-reading it again before I carried on, I realised he was in prison and I knew then that it didnít bode well for the rest of the story, which made me anxious to know exactly what happened! It was an amazing introduction to the story!

Albus was so happy that he was going home early, about surprising Scorpius that my stomach dropped when he realised that Scorpius wasnít alone. I was so upset for him in that moment! And the fact that it was Rose, well that just makes it all the more hard-hitting. When I realised it was her, I could then easily understand the rage Albus must have been feeling in that moment to do what he did.
ĎThey took on the color of blood, which you both shared - yet apparently that meant nothing to herí Ė this line was just perfect and so powerful! It really conveyed the anger bubbling up inside Albus.

The line where he says Harry will be there soon Ė thatís so heartbreaking because in that moment, he knows he canít undo what he is done and he will be punished for it. I just want to hug him because he sounds so defeated and devesated, which I guess he is, as he did just kill the love of his life.

And that ending. I love that last line Ė it really hits hard! It gave me so many chills. What a way to end a one-shot! It was absolutely amazing!!

Amazing job and good look in the challenges!

-Vicki

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