lauradracolover with your review here.

I think the chapter and the feelings were spot on in terms of feeling etc and the reactions of her family. I think Dom needed to lash out.

Laura

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you liked the way the feelings were expressed and the family's reactions. Thank you!

 Report Review

lauradracolover with your review, eventually :P

I think Rose needs to stop this wedding from happening because I get the feeling she is about to make a major mistake in her life. She is still in love with Scorpius and she needs to deal with this before she carries on with this.

I saw no CC's.

Laura

Author's Response: Hi Laura, don't worry about how long it took!

Haha with the wedding you'll only find out in the last chapter! I'm glad that you found no CC's :D

Thanks for the review,

-Kiana :D

 Report Review

lauradracolover here with your review swap.

I actually liked Mikaela more in this chapter than the previous one - I somehow think she's going to get a shock when she finally meets Nicholas. She is more realistic that's for sure.

I saw no problems with this chapter CC wise.

Laura

Author's Response: Awww thankyou Lauraa xx
Em

 Report Review

lauradracolover with your review.

Mmm.Madison seems to hate her home life and I am guessing there is some reason there.

I wonder if she will ever give James a try - he called her Madison. I just feel there is something going on between these two.

From a CC point of view - I would go through and close the gaps between the writing. I know its annoying but I do it on my own story. It just makes the chapter flow more clearly. You've got some really good descriptions in there regarding the guys in the story.

Laura

Author's Response: I do need to go and fix those chapter gaps; they bug me too! I'm glad you liked my descriptions, and more will be revealed regarding her home life and any James/Madison drama as the story progresses. Thanks for the review!
-ShadowRose

 Report Review

lauradracolover with your review.

I pointed this out yesterday to someone about their usage of the word and - it's annoying me now when its used when it doesn't need to be.

At first Freya and I just hear a lot of arguing from the front door but before we knew it the man appeared in are kitchen out of nowhere and or Dad was left shouting at thin air - where the nowhere was, this could be changed or, nowhere, as Dad was left shouting into thin air.

I've been beta'd myself and she has helped me so much in all of my writing where there are errors. It makes myself a better one. Another one at the beginning, it should be Freya and I not I and Freya.

Apart from that it's a good start, and good descrption of the twins.

Laura

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

I'm am very grateful that you pointed these things out to me as I find it hard to pick up on things like this myself and so will make sure to change them when I get around to editing this chapter.

~Hallows!

 Report Review

I've found this story quiet late and I'm kind of gutted to know the third story wasn't finished as I love this!

Laura

 Report Review

lauradracolover with your review, eventually.

Mmm...I'm not sure what to make of Ellie; she's certainly a typical teenager being full of herself, cocky and not wanting to do what she wants to do.

I didn't see any problems with this story, and if you want to request, please feel free to do so.

Laura

Author's Response: Hello!

Ellie is interesting, for sure. And she most definitely is a little cocky!

Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

lauradracolover with your review, eventually.

The CC stuff first:

There was Adele King and Samuel King looking directly at me like I am a bloody monument! - this should or could have been written just as Adele and Samuel King.

Also I noticed capital letters where they shouldn't. I'm really beginning not to like this stuck-up person.

Laura

Author's Response: Haha thanks for the CC
Em

 Report Review

lauradracolover here with your review.

What a very touching scene between mother and daughter. I think it was needed and Mikaela is being so grown up in accepting her fate. Sweet story with the old couple, too.

Love the chapter but you need to change automobile to vehicle. Maybe you can go through the check they've all been changed. Also maybe close the massive spaces between each paragraph.

Laura

Author's Response: Aw thankyouu! Will do.
Em

 Report Review

lauradracolover here with your review.

Some very cute scenes there. You give some great thinking into James mind and he is just like we all think he would be.

See you can go back over and do something about the spaces between the chapters.

A good start but try to add some more details. It would have nice to have seen James reaction to being right about being put into Gryffindor.

Feel free to ask for more reviews.

Laura

Author's Response: Gah, those stupid spaces! It looks fine on word, and then *poof* massive gaps. I do need to fix that soon. :)

Now that you mention it, I think that would've been a really cool piece to add. I may go back and do that very soon. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose

 Report Review

You know how much I love this story! But there were some issues. I'm going to get those out of the way first, then onto the nice stuff.

When your talking about the baby. As it's only one, they're or any form of is unnecessary and it doesn't sound like your talking about more than one.

I've also noticed your missing out , to break up those mega long sentences.

I like this chapter.

Lily/Albus - I can understand why Albus is as angry as he is, but at the end of the day it's Lily's choice.

Lily/James - Awww this was so cute and I loved the fact that James picked up on what was going on between his siblings. Ginny needs to wise up.

I get the feeling Lily won't be giving this baby up.

Laura

Author's Response: You seem to love this as much as I do!

I don't know why but I don't like it when people call a baby an it. I mean it is a person no matter how small, so I guess when I say 'they're looking pretty healthy' or something like that it's because I prefer it instead of it, if that makes sense.
But I might got back and change it. And as far as I'm aware Lily is definitely only having ONE baby :)

Lily/Albus - Oh boy he's angry isn't he, but as you said it's Lily's chpoice ad Al really doesn't get a say in it.

Lily/James - I realised there was so little of James since he isn't at Hogwarts and I wanted to do a scene between them since the last time they were together was when James/their parents founf out Lily was pregnant. And James has his uses, he can be wise at times like picking up on the little things between Lily and Al, especially since they're normally so close. And you're right, Ginny does need to wisen up but she also has a lot on her mind.

Who knows...

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

-Potterfan310
Soph xx

 Report Review

I liked the beginning of this story but I noticed at the beginning a few bits of grammer problems. Commas where they should be, breaking up long and winding sentences.

In overall you can get that Molly, if she doesn't like something, she won't go ahead and do it. I think she should give Cyrus a chance, because he seems charming and charisma.

I like the beginning of this.

Laura

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I realise there are a few grammar mistakes and I need to go back and edit them at some point.

I'm glad I got that aspect of Molly across, because it was something I wanted people to understand.

Thanks again for the review!

 Report Review

Hi lauradracolover with the review swap.

It nice to see that Draco really does care, but his daughter is a total spoilt brat. She got on my nerves in this chapter with all these random thoughts. I hope the old couple can help her.

I'm going to point out a thing now: automobile - we don't use this word in the UK. The word is vehicle we use.

Laura

Author's Response: Hey! Yeah I'll correct that! Haha. She is very spoilt!
Thankyou!

 Report Review

Wow this story freaked me out. The first chapter, I could just imagine the screen, the screaming and I had to keep on reading until the second chapter. You completely got my attention, which is not something that happens often.

Brilliant descriptions and set out.

I will be keep reading this.

Laura (from the review swap)

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

lauradracolover here with your review.

This caught my attention straight away, especially as I'm a former Media student myself. You can feel how scared Dom is and the last sentence made me instantly click to see what happened next.

Laura

Author's Response: hey thanks for reading and reviewing! I am glad this caught your attention, and you could feel Dom's fear. I hope you read and review the next chapter too, thanks!

 Report Review

Okay now I need to comment.

I think Lily is making a massive mistake.I know adoption is the most amazing thing but Lily has the support of her parents, her teachers, family and friends as well as Jake. I can't help but feel she's been a total bitch and I think she will regret the decision.

Also I think you need to reread through this (yes I know I'm no angel with this) but double read everything as I'm finding missing words or words spelt incorrect!

Laura (lauradracolover)

ps. if you want to re-request reviews from this point onwards please do.

Author's Response: Hey :)

Lily's all over the place at the moment, after hearing about Rose and Bee's experience's she just wants what is best for her baby. She knows that her and Jake won't be able to care/provide for jellybean on their own and she doesn't want to borrow her parents money.

Will do, the first 2 chapters have been beta'd and I'm currently waiting on the third but I will go back and check!!

Thank you!!
-Potterfan310
Soph xx

P.s I will :D

 Report Review

lauradracolover with your requested review.

Wow Lily, could she stoop any lower? Yes I guess she could and she's really jealous of her. Is it because James seemed to pay more attention to her than to anyone else?

I feel for Ellie, she's ill but I understand her need to lie to James; but I think he'd be understanding and he's a perfect choice to be Head Boy.

Head Boy should always be in capitals as its a title.

Laura

Author's Response: Holy cow, you're right. I totally forgot to capitalize Head Boy...thanks for seeing that :D!

Lily's an interesting/important character. I've given myself the challenge of creating a character that everyone despises at first. I want to see if I can twist her into someone everyone adores/respects. It's a challenge, but at this point I'm glad that you're not a fan of her.

Oh yes, Ellie has it hard, but she's unwilling to let anyone else around her help with her struggles.

Oh good, I was hoping my reader's would feel that James is a good choice for Head Boy :D

Yay! I enjoy your reviews. Thank you for the wonderful feedback, and I will probably have you read the next chapter ;)

Jack

 Report Review

Here I am with your requested review.

I've actually seen this around the forums and been ignoring it but I'm kicking myself now. I can see Rose and Lily being like sisters, their relationship is really close and its sad that Rose lost a baby, but she was only a teenager herself.

I'm gonna keep on reading, but if you want me to leave you more reviews, re-request or I might just leave them anyway.

Laura

Author's Response: Hey,

I always see Rose and Lily as sisters because they were always together when they were younger.

I'm glad you'll keep on reading and I'll definitely be re-requesting :D

Thanks!

-Potterfan310
Soph xx

 Report Review

When I read the prologue I was thinking of what she could have to do; something really evil but an arranged marriage isn't the end of the world. But to a seventeen year old I can see that it would be.

I feel for Mikaela as this has to be a huge shock but it's something I can see Narcissa doing. What a twisted family and I like the fact that Scorpius would be so angry about it.

I'm gonna carry on reading this story.

Laura (lauradracolover - a requested review from me)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! :D
Can't wait for more of your reviews!
Xx
Em

 Report Review

This story is so detailed! I like Melanie but she's seems to be a deep person, but what has she got to do with Draco? Why is he sending her messages?

This story has got so much potential but to be brilliant, and I feel sorry for her she's a only child.

Keep up the good work.

Laura

Author's Response: Hi Laura, thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed it. All the questions will be answered throughout the story, and there's a reason she's an only child. You'll see ;) Thanks again! Bobby xx

 Report Review

I feel sorry for Ellie; her parents are so unloving and uncaring. I think a child becoming a werewolf would make them even more protective.

I don't get why Lily hates her so much. What did she ever do and both of her brothers like her. Well James more.

I think I will continue to read this.

Laura (lauradracolover)

Author's Response: Oh so you were drawn into my story! Yay! I'm glad you like it enough to continue reading :D

I wouldn't mind if you left more flattering reviews ;)

soapman333

 Report Review

I love how Draco has been portayed in the first two chapters of this story. It's nice, different and unusual to see him so reflective, but that gives your story something more unique. I feel sorry for him especially with Narcissa practially forcing an arrangement marriage on him, or generally trying to. Making Teddy's gran and Narcissa becomes friends is nice and I hope you will explore that more and we will see more of that. Especially Draco with Teddy as that's so cute.

I loved how you've done two POV's of Draco and then moved on Hermione. What she and Harry did for him, well, it kind of expected but nice they did it.

I love this story and where your going with it!

Laura

Author's Response: Hi Laura!


I'm glad that you liked how Draco was portrayed, I wanted to make him reflective as I imagined that he would be after the war. I'm glad that you felt that it made my story unique though.

Yes Narcissa can be a bit forceful at times, I think it's a common pureblood thing though, and you'll find out more in future chapters.

I love Teddy and Draco too, and they should feature more in future chapters, as well as Narcissa and Andromeda!

I'm glad that you liked the POV change, as I get bored writing in just one. I think Harry and Hermione would have done it, as they saved him during the battle :)

Thank you for the lovely review,

Kiana:D

 Report Review

I love the beginning of the fic and the fact its got a love triangle. I'm reading so many HPFF stories right now as I'm writing my own, but this has been firmly added into my favourites.

Laura

Author's Response: I'm glad that you loved the beginning of it and the love triangle. I'm also glad that this is in your favourites as it means so much to me!

Kiana!

 Report Review

I saw this on the forum and I've got to say I love it. Normally I don't read Harry's stories after DH but from the first sentence in the first chapter I was hooked.

Love it and keep updating.

Laura (A fellow Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Thank you very much, currently working on the 5th will be here soon :)

 Report Review

I loved this story and think its great. I'm really fussy over what I read but this caught and held my attention all the way through.

 Report Review