Hi! This was hilarious! :)
Okay... thoughts. So, first of all, Albus truly is a prick. Throughout the chapter I experienced this constant sensation of wanting to punch his face. haha. Maybe its because I'm viewing him through Mia's eyes but I didn't see at all how anyone could find him sweet. Oh, and I also loved how you made Albus the player type rather than James. Usually Albus is the sweet one. I liked the change.
Mia is awesome so far.
Rose and Scorpius are adorable. :)
I don't really know a lot about Riley yet but she seems good.
And Fred is... Oh God he's my favorite so far. haha. I literally laughed out loud at this part:
"There are not going to be any children now," Fred said while shaking his head sadly.
"There was never going to be any children," I said looking at my beyond mental friend.
"Not with that attitude!")
Looking forward to chapter 2! So I'm going to add another smiley (Because I clearly haven't inserted enough already.)
:)Author's Response: Thanks :) Yeah, Albus is a sixteen year old boy, they are all like that in a way right? Don't be hating him too much, he will change :) As the story progresses I'll have more on the other characters. I'm glad you like Fred. He was fun to write in this chapter. He's just as weird in chapter two, I promise. The chapter is just about done, I'll post it by the end of the week (hopefully it will validate soon). Thanks for the amazing review !! Also, I love all your smileys :) Report Review
Again, I loved this story! Like I said, I don't really read stories of this genre, but I genuinely enjoyed this.
I think you did a superb job of characterizing Lily. I had a vivid picture of her by the end despite the story only being 1500 words. :)
I couldn't imagine Lucy quite as well as Lily, but I sympathized with her all the same.
I really liked this and will try to check out some of your other stories! :)
10/10Author's Response: Hello! :)
Ah, thank you, that means alot since I love your new story:)
I'm glad you liked mu characterization of her, and it seems like I need to build Lucy up as a character, which I willl definitely do!
Thank you again for taking the time to read and review! It means alot! :)
(Ahh, ten out of ten? you're waay to nice :)xxx)
James couldn't make Lily cry, but HE FLIPPING MADE ME CRY! :(
Honestly, this was beautiful beautiful piece. Your writing is poetic and very moving. I just... wow... this was incredible.
I haven't read a lot of angst because I'm so darn emotional :P but this was enjoyable even though it did make me tear up. I adored your word choices throughout the piece.
Sorry I don't have an alternate adjective to describe it but this was /such/ beautiful writing. :)
10/10Author's Response: HAHAH NO DON'T CRY! Wow thank you so much. really i appreciate it so much! So glad you enjoyed it and i can totally relate to you!
I CRY AT FLIPPIN' EVERYTHING!:D
i'm so happy i moved you and you think im poetic. in honesty i can't write a poem to save my life! hahaha.
thank so much for taking the time to r&r it means the world Report Review
Hey! Just to let you know, your writing is honestly superb! I am excited to see what you cook up in the next few chapters. :)
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! ♥ That means a lot to me and thanks for taking the time to leave a review :D People like you inspire me to keep writing!
-Naida Report Review
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