Reading Reviews From Member: TheGirlOnFire
  
90 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheGirlOnFireQuelques ans après-A few years later: Chapter 1:Visite inattendue

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo :) 20/20

I'm New to Dramione, I dint really understand how it would work, but I like what you did in this chapter. With Draco and Hermione returning to England a marriage couple wit twins. They seems so familiar with each it seemed so natural you'd have actually thought it was Canon. I would have loved to have seen Harry, Ron and Ginny's reaction to Hermione being married to Draco. Draco made me laugh. He was so funny, acting all arrogant and really into how beautiful he is. He made me laughed so much. After reading this, I'm not sure I'll over look Dramione anymore, will I look for it probably not, but will I read it if it's there peopleprobably. Keep up the good work, you're writting is pretty great.

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #2, by TheGirlOnFireThis is not a Drapple: Chapter One

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo 19/20 :)

This was so funny. You jade me at "This is not a Drapple". Draco was so funny, with his whole, "tough-guy" reputation. This made me laugh so much. This is exactly how I imagined Draco to be like. Cocky, arrogant and a 'bad boy'. I loved that this was a Drapple, he even wanted to call her Apple. This was awesome. Involve how he spent all half-time woowing her only to reject her the second she unfroze. Classics bad boy always wanting what they can't have. I loved how you described her like an Apple, shiny skin, round voluptuous body and red hair. My favourite line had to be "who was he to question such a plot hole?" this had me in tears. I loved this. I'm so glad I read it for the bingo. Kudos to you for writing such a funny fanfiction.

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #3, by TheGirlOnFireDeepest Desire: The Mirror of Erised

16th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the black out bingo. 18/20.

Oh wow. I wish my first fanfic was this good. Damn girl, the feels this gave me. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have felt like for Ginny, everyone she loved was dead or missing. This was really good. I don't read AU stories, mainly because I like Canon the way it is, but this. Tis was amazing. I could feel what Ginny was feeling and I wanted her to die. Which is new. I wanted her to die so that she too could be at peace and so that she could be happy too. This is the first time I found myself rooting for the death eaters to find her. I am amazed at what you managed to capture in so little words. Keep the good work going! I can't wait to see what else you'll write.

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #4, by TheGirlOnFireMagicians’ Story: Returning Home

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo, 17/20 ;)

I like reading about the founders, they are really interesting to learn about. I feel as if you tried too hard with the 'old-fashioned' talk, it didn't come of as natural. It didn't foo as well as it should. Instead of "There is no way you'll not be married. You just keep your smartness under control." maybe try this, "There is no way a women of your standing will not marry, despite your attempts to dissuade all potential suitors with your cutting remarks, your dowry will handle any doubts they may have." This is just a suggestion. Is this going to be multi-chaptered because I can't see it as a one shot?. Other than the few issues I gas this is a good start to your story. :)

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #5, by TheGirlOnFireSeverus Snape: The Mind is not a Book

16th March 2014:
Hello! Me again. This is for the blackout bingo 16/20 ;).

I don't read many Severus fics so I thought I would read this one. I liked the idea that Shape was always trying to protect Lily, this is something he probably would have done as he was madly in love with her he even cut her out of his life knowing that she may end up with his enemy. Even though he was madly in love with her, and he kept it going till the end. It's quite heart breaking to even try to image what he went through till that moment of his death. Also I liked your description of Bellatrix, "her beauty was just a mask for her evil intentions." this was very chilling and the perfect way to summarize Bellatrix. This has got to be my favourite line in this story. Keep up the good work. :)

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry it's taken so long to respond... I figured I had to write a Snape fic at some point and then it just sort of hit me I guess. He is one of those characters that has so much going on you have to look deeper. I am pleased that you liked the Bellatrix line. Thanks again TheGirlOnFire :)
XOXOXOXOXOX,
LLG


 Report Review

Review #6, by TheGirlOnFireMolly smiles: Nothing's Wrong When Molly Smiles

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo, 15/20.

Oh wow. I did not see that coming. She died! What?! That was amazing. I really never thought Molly was going to die. How doe she die? What happened? So many question unanswered. I liked this story though. From the beginning, it was obvious how much Percy loved his daughter and how much it hurt him when she died. And now that Molly can't smile anymore Percy's going to be heart broken. I loved the way we saw Molly grow from Percy's eyes. I think that's what makes the ending more heart breaking, you made us feel what Percy would feel. I haven't read any stories that were solely based Percy and his relationship with his children, especially a sing fix. This was refreshing and emotional, and I'm glad I read it. This was such a great read.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hi GirlOnFire. Yes, she did die... I was going to go into detail, but my original idea would have required me asking a validator in advance if it was okay to post. I am glad I seem to be the only one with this particular topic, I hope others join me soon! I am glad you liked it :)
XOXOXO,
LLG


 Report Review

Review #7, by TheGirlOnFireJames Potter and the Quidditch Case: The Partner

16th March 2014:
Hi! It's me again. This is for the blackout bingo 14/20 ;)

I liked the progression in this chapter. James trying to figure out who did it and then being returned back to square one. So it wasn't the Slytherins. Hmm. My new theory is that it was the Hufflepuff, maybe they misjudged her? I have a bit of CC. You are probably writing shory chapters on purpose, for the first chapter this is fine. But I think that there needs to be more detail in the next chapters, maybe an insight onto James mind and how it works to process suspects. There is so much room for character development, and I don't think you're filling it. I hope that in later chapters you do write more detail; as detail can take a story a long way. This was still good though. Keep going. :)

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: We'll have to see who it is (when I get around to writing another chapter...) I understand your CC but I think for a story it is important to be careful about every little detail you add in. If I added the wrong thing in, one character could become suspect more than the rest, and if it is the person who "did do it", well, it wouldn't be a very good mystery now would it? I'll eventually write more and fill in every single gap I can... James'll probably go on an accusing rampage... Thanks again TheGirlOnFire

 Report Review

Review #8, by TheGirlOnFireJames Potter and the Quidditch Case: The Malaclaw

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for te blackout bingo. 13/20 ;)

This was great and this was so funny, Fred being attracted by the Malacaw. I laughed so much. "The lobster tried to eat my face." I found this so funny. What would seeing this be like. James 'manly yell' that's so typical boy. They scream like a girl the call it a manly yell. Who sabotaged them? Was it the slytherin quidditch team, or was it an external party. This was great. Well done, it may have been really shirt but it was still very good. There was so much revealed in so little words. There was a lot of mystery to. I think you have dine well with tis first chapter and I can't wait to read the rest. I hope it's as funny as this one. Good job, keep up the good work.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hello TGOF :)
I am glad you enjoyed this chapter. The question "Who done it?" really was the mystery here. I tried to make it as funny as possible because the mystery wasn't overly serious. I really wanted to keep these chapters shorter to open them up to everyone who has like an hour of time (rather than three days to catch up). I know I don't always have that kind of time and I want something more filling than a one-shot but something I can make time for to read. So I decided to start writing one!
thanks again dear!


 Report Review

Review #9, by TheGirlOnFireThe Black Parade: We'll Carry On

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo, 12/20

This gave me chills, I'm not sure if it was the song or Draco's story, but wow. I found myself singing along with the lyrics, this is a great song and I really like what you did with it. How you user to to add a sort of behind the scene feelings. Rather than use it ato prompt that story along. I loved how you captured Draco's reluctance and his need for freedom. I though that that was perfect. I'm going to assume that this is Draco telling Scorpius not to make his mistakes. Well that's what I thought it was. I like the idea that Draco changes and becomes someone who he used to make fun off, someone he used to hate. This was well written and touching. Keepthe good work going.


TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #10, by TheGirlOnFireTASK ONE CHALLENGE: Victory At The Crossroads: Victory at the Crossroads

16th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo. :) 11/20

I really enjoyed reading this. Salazar is such an interesting character. I thought he handled being attacked by a dragon very well. I don't think I'd be able to kill a Dragon with no magic. How he jumped in ready to help his village, very brave of him. I think that Salazar had a subconscious need to make his father proud after not being able to get a wand. He was brave and courageous, (Gryffindor traits) goes to show that slytherin and Gryffindors are very alike. I liked the way you handled the prompts, they were there but they weren't overly obvious. This was interesting and a great read. Although, there where a few typos in this. Some of the sentences didn't make sense. Other than that I enjoyed reading this.

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #11, by TheGirlOnFireAfter the War: Remus Lupin

15th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo:) 10/20

I've never actually read anything that told the story of what happened after Remus died. I've never really thought to but this was great. This was very unique to me. (maybe there are stories like this but this is the first I've read).I liked the reunion between James and Remus. Although I felt like there should have been more emotion there, they haven't seen eachother in over seventeen years, it seems to me that they would have felt more. (That's just my opinion). It was a great idea to have this be the build up to the scene in which Harry sees his deathad loved ones. I though that that was very clever. Keep writing such great stories.


TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #12, by TheGirlOnFireLosing the Happy Ending: Tears in the Dark

15th March 2014:
Hi! It's me again. This is for the blackout bingo. 9/20 :)

I liked this it was very well written. It was soft and emotional. I really like that. Sometimes you just heed a story that is emotional but not heavy. I liked Alice's regret over Nevilles birthing being at such a bad time. I liked the guilt and regret she felt over Marlene and the death of her family. I fulltime you captured that perfectly. The little twist at the end that linked it to James and Lily's death was great. I've always wondered what Alice and Frank where doing at the time of Sirius's arrest. Where th e already in hospital or where they just UN aware. They are never mentioned to have had any link to that moment. I'm glad you wrote your interpretations of that night from Alice's POV,it's always mice to see what other people think about certain things. :)

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #13, by TheGirlOnFirePink - The Color of Hate: Lost in Thought

15th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo. 8/20 ;)

I like the idea of a story bwing told from Umbridge's point of view. It was nice seeing what Umbridhe thought about things. That scene with the Hufflepuffs, my friend would sincerely go to her grave defending Hufflepuffs she has so much Badger Pride. Some what she was saying was really like Umbridge. You really captured the spirit of Umbridge and you portrayed what she really thought about certain situations. I never liked Umbridge, this made me like her less. Everything she said about Hagrid and Dumbledore. It's very realistic. You have really written this well, I am really glad I read this, You are quite talented. Umbridge is such an evil and difficult person to write and I feel like you did her justice.

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #14, by TheGirlOnFireEvery Song Must End: Bitter...

15th March 2014:
Hi! This is for the blackout bingo. 7/20, :)

This made me smile. The idea that Astoria healed Draco made me smile. Draco deservedto find some happiness after what he went through. I loved the way you wrote this, I really felt what Draco was feeling. It's a wonderful skill to have, Bering able to make your readers feel something in particular. The use of the quote was brilliant. That episode of DW is one of my favour and that line is so powerful. I really like how you used it to help tell the story. Tue end of Draco's bad year's and the start of his New future. I like Draco and I hate it when he's portrayed as a bad person, I'm glad that you didn't do that. I hope that you do continue writing stories like this.


TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Yeah, I'm really terrible with angst, so I wanted to give this a happy ending. I love the idea of love healing Draco, and because I'm a bit of a fan of canon, it couldn't be anyone else but Astoria!

So happy that you found the piece emotive! The word limit created a great environment for visceral reactions and not much room to elaborate. And how good is that DW episode? I cried when I watched it.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)


 Report Review

Review #15, by TheGirlOnFireAnywhere: October, 1979 - Riddles

15th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo, 6/10 :)

I loved this chapter, I really enjoyed reading the interactions between Belatrix and Loren, they both seem like complex characters. I loved how confused Belatrix was on how she felt about Loren and what kind of person he was. This is very interesting, I've never thought of Belatrix as confused, she just seems like she knows what she is doing.The flirtation and the banter was great, I really enjoyed reading it. I can't wait to see where this story is going. I am really interested to see where this goes. This is a great second chapter. I'm still curious as to ho this will end, will it end canon or AU? I can't decide how this will end, will it be happy or sad. I will be reading on.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hello!

It's very interesting writing them, because of things you'll find out later on in the story, and every though I worry about getting Bella right (while still mixing it up for the challenge), it is fun. I'm glad you like them.

Well, I'm adding AU moments with the canon timeline, if that makes any sense? You'll see when I get to the end. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #16, by TheGirlOnFireAnywhere: September, 1979 - Beg

15th March 2014:
Hi! this is for the blackout bingo, 5/20

I like the first line in this, I was instantly intrigued as to what would come next. It was very powerful. The short summary of what had happened to 'The Mudblood' was nicely done. I liked that you id that rather than write a chapters worth of a back story leading up to the moment he met Belatrix. Who of course would crucio a person rather than admit that they like them. I'm interested to see how the relationship develops, will it include some Stockholm Syndrome? This seems like an interesting concept. I liked the interaction between Loren and Belatrix, I think that it's great that he doesn't cower in front of her. She needs someone that isn't scared of her. I'm excited to see how this progresses.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes! As soon as I got Bellatrix for this challenge, my first thought was that line. The idea for this story went from there, so it was only right to start the story with it. It's probably my favorite line; I'm glad you like it. :D

Loren is a very... complex character, he won't break easily. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #17, by TheGirlOnFireVernon's Story: Caveat Smeltonia

15th March 2014:
Hi, this is for the blackout bingo, 4/20 :)

I didn't like the bullying, bullying sucks. I know that writing scenes like that can be hard but I don't feel like you captured the realism that comes with bullying. It was nice start to your story , but I feel like they just jumped into the bullying, I get that that happens sometimes, but I would have liked to have felt Vernon's feelings as he did what he was doing. You told us rather than showed us, I think that that is something you should work on, showing not telling is one of the hardest but most best way of writing. I really hope that this wasn't too harsh, I just think that beating around the bust doesn't help people improve and we all need to improve. (don't hate me)

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hi GirlOnFire!
Don't you worry, there's definitely no hating going on :D I welcome all opinions, there are no good or bad ones :)

Bullying does suck and in my experience, it often happens very quickly - three bullies comfortable in their role and a scrawny new kid; I don't picture Vernon and his cronies as the kind of guys that feel or even think too much during the act.
Most likely, it's become a habit, a daily routine. That's just how little I think of Vernon.
Quite honestly, I actually wouldn't know where to start as I have no idea what a bully like Vernon probably feels like - heck, I don't even feel it's relevant for the progression of the plot as it is.

I agree I should work on my writing and I try to improve every day a little more, hence welcoming any non-judgmental opinion or constructive criticism :) Indeed, we all need to improve, and long descriptions about feelings and settings are rather important for the development of characters.
Part of the experience, the fun in writing is writing about things or feelings we do not know of - I get that.

You mentioned you would have like to feel Vernon's feelings as he was bullying the boy - I will definitely look into that when I edit the story and see if it wouldn't bring this story to a degree of drama higher than I want it to be :)

Thank you for reviewing and sharing your opinion!
The next chapter is validated if you're interested :)

Cheers!
Gee.


 Report Review

Review #18, by TheGirlOnFireEnding It: Ending it

15th March 2014:
I'm back, this is for the blackout bingo 3/20 :)

I like the use of the flashback to tell the story. the contrasting of the good and the bad, all leading to the inevitable end. This is my first Teddy/Dom story and I really liked it. I liked the way you summed up their relationship. The ending was brutal on Dom. I felt like shouting at Teddy to shut up and that he wasn't helping, but in the end he needed to say what he said for the both of them, and that was very good of him. I'm glad they eventually did the honourable thing and broke up. There is a line in which you wrote "continue are...relationship forever..." I think you meant to write "our". Otherwise this is another story of yours that I enjoyed reading.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you liked the flashback as it was a vital element to present how the Dom/Teddy relationship was, and for the contrast. It's nice that you liked the way I wrote their relationship too, and also how it ended - because after all it was morally wrong. And yes thanks for pointing out that typo about 'our'. I'll edit it later!
Thanks!


 Report Review

Review #19, by TheGirlOnFireMoments of Perfection: Seven

15th March 2014:
Hi again! This is for the blackout bingo 2/20 :)

I really like your writing style, it's very interesting. I haven't read many Narcissa/Lucius stories(I've only read one), this was very good. I liked the fragmentation the snippets of Narcissa's most important moments with Lucius. My favourite would have to be the one at the end. The one where Voldermort dies and they're free. I thought you captured that so well in so little words. I also liked the idea of Harry comingr To their aid and helping them say out of Azkaban. That seems like something that could have happened but was never touched upon in the books. I like the idea that Harry and the Malfoys could make up and be sort of friends. Lucius and Narcissas relationship seems more complex and I think you managed to capture it perfectly in Narcissas seven scenes.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I am happy you like my writing style here as I was somewhat apprehensive about it. I am pleased you liked the fragmentation and that the end was your favourite - it was a favourite of mine too! Yes, I always felt like Harry would have found a way to thank Narcissa and this would've been his way (getting them out of prison). Thanks once again for your lovely words!

 Report Review

Review #20, by TheGirlOnFireCome with Me: Come with me

15th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo 1/20 :).

I liked reading this. It was so beautifully put together. The emotion the torment. I loved every bit of it. I likes seeing another side of Draco that could have been. The side that he may have given into had he really had Catherine. I thought the sense where Draco told the story of how Catherine died was very lovely. I felt myself sympathising with him, I felt myself wondering whether must be feeling. I piled the beginning, the mystery the surprise and the sadness in Draco. For the first time ever I wanted to cry for him. I've always felt sorry for him never have I wanted to cry for him. Never have I wanted to hug him and tell him that it will get better. Truly, this was great. Another thing, I love the build up to the inevitable end, him following her like he always has. A great way to end a great short story.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Sorry for such a late response!

I am pleased you liked this with all the torment and the emotion etc. I also enjoyed exploring a what-if side of Draco and I am pleased you liked it too. It's good to know that you could sympathise with him and felt for him. *conveys your hug to my Draco* I am glad you liked it with the ending too, thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #21, by TheGirlOnFireDarkness Becomes Me: Darkness Becomes Me

14th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo :)

I really liked reading this as it was different. this the first time I've read something where Harry is emotionally and psychologically scared from his participation in the war. I thought that this was a beautifully well written piece, I'm kind of glad I didn't click on that last story otherwise I probably wouldn't have found this. I liked the way you used the lyrics to further tell the story rather than use the lyrics to tell the story (if that made sense), I don't usually read song fics, but latley I've been reading some great ones. I really like that you didn't give the girl at the end a name, I like that aura of mystery even though I'm going to assume it's Ginny. It's nice to think that she helped him get 'better'. Well this was great, :)

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #22, by TheGirlOnFireBlack Magic: The Orphanage

14th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo:)

So, this was nice. No really this was really good. I really enjoyed reading this. It's a well written piece, a really great start for your story. I found myself sympathising with the children and feeling sorry for Adriana for being in such a position. But it's nice to see she doesn't shirk her duty and blame the children for the position she's in. This first chapter already shows what a great person she is, it shows how strong she is when she could just give up and go work somewhere else. Her love for the children really shows. I'm really excited to see where this may go. Keep going, :)

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It really means a lot that you're enjoying it. I'll add more chapters soon I've just been busy with school. Thank you again!

 Report Review

Review #23, by TheGirlOnFireKit and Olly: The Grown-Up Years.: Chapter One: Accidents, Bacon and Chaos in the Kitchen.

14th March 2014:
hello, this is for the blackout bingo:)

I chose to read this because I have a particular soft spot for Oliver Wood. This was cute and alight hearted tale of their anniversary. There are some issues with this chapter though. The speech is very confusing as it's very bunched up. I'm not sure if this is a formatting error or not, but to make it less confusing I'd advise you spread the speech out. Also Oliver dropping the F-bomb right at the end doesn't seem like something someone would do after spending their anniversary with someone they loved. Apart from the small bits of criticism I enjoyed reading this story and it was very enjoyable.

TheGirlOnFirexx

 Report Review

Review #24, by TheGirlOnFireLove and Loyalty: Chapter 8: Green

14th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo:)

Firstly, I would like to say that you've captured what a new person would feel moving into Hogwarts for the first time. Also, I feel like you say Nicole a lot. I feel like saying her name once a paragraph is enough to let us know who is talking, the constant repetition of her name is too much, don't be afraid to use 'she'. There is this scene of which Nicole is talking to Avery and he says "You're starting in September?" This is confusing as she's already in Hogwarts. It's properly a typo, you should fix it. The last think is that the end was slightly confusing to me, her uncle and Snape came out of no where and they where talking about voldermort. Other than that this was good start.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. There's actually some chapters before this one posted which explains some of the confusion. The first seven chapters are posted under the same title and author. I would love to keep hearing your thoughts.

 Report Review

Review #25, by TheGirlOnFireLove Story: Love Story

14th March 2014:
Hello, this is for the blackout bingo :)

Firstly, I love thins song. Taylor Swift is pretty awesome. This was an interesting way to see a version of the song this story tells. I liked how you used the song to take the story along, but I feel like you used too much of the song to tell the story. I would have liked to see more of Rose and Scorpius rather than the adaptations of the lyrics you wrote (not that I didn't like this story). Also, the parts where Rose is narrating could use a little more description. I feel like they're too short and don't give enough emotions and don't give enough insight to Rose and Scorpius's relationship. I did enjoy reading this story, it was a nice light-hearted read, that didn't take much to understand.

TheGirlOnFirexx

Author's Response: Thank you I really appreciate your comments this was a bit of spur of the moment fic so i didn't really think the structure through but im glad you enjoyed reading it

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>