Reading Reviews From Member: ScarletEye158
  
188 Reviews Found

Review #26, by ScarletEye158Final Call: Final Call

13th July 2013:
Wow, I really enjoyed this one-shot! I haven't read many Petunia stories but I thought your characterization of her was really well written and planned out and I actually felt really sorry for her :(

The fact that Vernon forgot their anniversary makes me really mad. How could you forget after 8 years? What a jerk! and then he just takes Dudley away for a few days and doesn't even tell her much about the plans? That's a big 'no no' on a husband's part, I think! :P

I'm really glad Petunia had that spontaneous moment of wanting to go to Italy. I wouldn't ever want to travel by myself, but that was her dream and she wanted to do it so bravo for her! I love how we got to see what she really felt for Harry, too. The little pangs of guilt for him, the thinking of him as not too bad and well behaved... I liked this side of Petunia. It makes me feel like she was only really harsh on him when Vernon was around and that she did have a soft spot for her sisters son :)

Gahhh it sucks that she didn't get to go on the trip! She was soo excited, too! I'm really proud of her for trying though, not many people would have the guts to do things like that so randomly! Harry's little touch of her arm made me all sad and happy at the same time. Sad because he obviously wanted to comfort her and was a little afraid to do it but happy that he tried to make an effort and the fact that she let him. It was really sweet :)

This really was lovely and I'm really glad I got to read it :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Neither have I, which is why I wanted to give it a shot. I felt sorry for her too, which was surprising. I'm definitely not Petunia's biggest fan but, as someone who feels overshadowed by their own sister, I'm finding we have more in common than I thought. Ugh, Vernon. Please. Can't he just get it together. He thinks the wrong things are important. I think Petunia does have a soft spot; I've wondered for ages what it was that she wanted to say to Harry before leaving in DH. Something nice, I feel.. I know...that little touch. Said so much. Harry is such a good kid; I wish they could have worked out a way to be closer...
Thanks so much for this stellar review! You're great!


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Review #27, by ScarletEye158The Girl Next Door: Amelia

7th June 2013:
Yay, a new chapter! I've really been looking forward to this one :D

Alright, so first of all I was really surprised to hear that the story wouldn't be told in Sirius' point of view but I already really like Amelia! She seems like a nice but sassy girl and I'm excited to get to know her a bit more :) I've never read a story about a girl who is friends with Petunia rather than Lily so this ought to be interesting! Does Amelia share the same loathing as Petunia does towards Lily? And I'm curious to know how she knows about the Wizarding Word!

Hahaha, poor Remus! I wonder what bet he lost to have been forced to go down there and talk to Amelia :P That would've been a really awkward conversation but I wish Amelia would've at least flirted a little bit ;P

I really liked the little hints you gave us in this chapter as to what was going on or who was being talked to without actually coming out and telling us. I liked the descriptions of the boys and how Petunia came in saying that Lily made Head Girl. It showed us that Amelia knew Lily and also what year they were all in. Very small details, but it made the story come alive :)

Ahhh, I'm so curious to know what happened to Lexi! Why the heck would Amelia lie and say she died?! I guess she is a good liar with people her own age :P I don't think I could ever lie about something like that lol.

I'm sooo looking forward to reading the next chapter and thank you so much for updating me on Twitter when this chapter got validated! (:

Great work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amelia! :D

I'm really pleased to hear that although this story isn't in Sirius' POV, you really like this story so far! I'm not used to writing in first person POV, so I'm challenging myself by writing this entire story in first person (prologue aside, of course), and to make it easier I'm writing girls because hey, I'm a girl :P

Oooh, Amelia being friends with Petunia becomes something important in the future, so it's great that you like it ;) She loathes Lily for being a witch, and hates the wizarding world, just like Petunia does. How she knows about it will surface in the fourth chapter :D

Bahahahaha :') Amelia knows that Remus is a wizard, so to her, that automatically means a romance is off the cards :P

Oooh thank you very much! That's something I feel I struggle with in first person, so to hear that is great! :D

And that question will be answered in future chapters! Amelia is indeed a good liar with people her own age, and with the elderly too, although she feels uncomfortable with lying to the elderly. *cackles*

I'm currently writing the next chapter, and it's no problem at all!

Thank you!

-Isobel ♥


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Review #28, by ScarletEye158When the Axe Fell: When the Axe Fell

24th May 2013:
Hey! Wow, this was a great story!

I've never read a story from Sir. Nicholas' point of view before and I really liked the way you portrayed him! The story title definitely caught my attention and I knew exactly what it was going to be about!

As I read, I don't think I've ever felt so nervous for a character before! Usually people don't know when/how they're going to die, so reading this made me feel really bad and scared for him! I still can't believe (and I've heard about it many times, but it still makes me sick) how people were executed for possible use of witchcraft. To know that Sir. Nicholas was a very like-able man before he got caught using witchcraft and then was planned to be executed without any kind of trial makes me really sad :(

I thought your descriptions were really good throughout the story :) You didn't get too much into the blood and gore, but you did explain enough where we were able to gather exactly what was happening and how Nicholas felt during the whole thing.

Oddly enough, I feel really bad for the executioner! I wonder if he really wanted to be an executioner or not, but I loved the way you explained him going from man to boy; I guess not everyone can handle a job like that and I wonder if he ever performed another execution after that!

I really liked the way that you counted down the blows of the axe. It made it really dramatic and realistic. I just wish poor Nick didn't have to go through all of that :/

Aww, poor Nick! He didn't realize that being afraid of death would make him into a ghost and it sucks that he has to spend forever like that. I liked how you used the last words of your story as your title, as well. It seemed very planned out and like you put a lot of thought into this story and I love that!

Very nice job!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda!

Nick is such an interesting character and there aren't many (if any) stories about him on the archives, so I was really eager to write this. I wanted him to be a likeable character because that made his death even more tragic in my eyes. I know exactly what you mean about executions like this - I think they show some of the worst of humanity, but they show how powerful fear can be.

Oh, I'm so glad you felt sorry for the executioner! He's probably my favourite character in this one-shot, partly because he completely wrote himself. I know I wouldn't be up to that job!

I'm so happy that you liked the counting of the axe blows! And it's great that you feel sorry for Nick. I wanted to provide a plausible explanation about how he might have become a ghost, since he's always so proud of his courage. I love trying to bring one-shots to an appropriate ending, so I'm glad you liked that too.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and leave such a great review!

Sian :)


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Review #29, by ScarletEye158Adrienne Boot and the Closet Conundrum: (Adry) The Closet Conundrum

12th May 2013:
Hey there! I'm Amanda from the Gryffindor Review Exchange :)

This was a really cute, fun chapter! I really like how well you were able to introduce all of the characters. I didn't get lost or confused or anything and sometimes having a few different "main" characters does that to me :P

The way you wrote Adrienne was really nice. I liked her personality and characterization a lot; she's definitely the kind of person who loves her friends to death and the way she described them was really sweet. Usually people have a few bad things to say about their friends but I liked that they all have good happy relationships with each other :)

Also, while I'm on the topic of characterization, I really liked Lucy and Louis as well! We didn't get to see them tooo much in this chapter but the parts that we did get to see really stuck out to me. Louis getting angry really fast because of his Veela blood was hilarious and I can assume that's only going to intensify with the continuation of the story :P. I really liked Lucy's hyper and random personality too. Her waking up Adrienne every morning, humming to herself at breakfast and her randomness with throwing Adrienne and Louis into the broom cupboard had me cracking up. She seems like a sweet girl ;P

Ah, now onto the broom cupboard! What was Lucy thinking!? I'm guessing she and the rest of the gang want Louis and Adrienne together or something? It sure seems like it! How cute, I do too even though I don't know too much about their relationship/friendship yet ;D

I'm interested to see what's so different about the cupboard, too. Did they like set up a bunch of lovey dovey stuff to get those two in the mood or something? lol. Gah, I gotta keep reading! :P

One thing I did find a little bit unrealistic about this story (and it's very minor) is that Slughorn is still teaching at Hogwarts. I would think that he'd probably be dead around the time that this story takes place... lol. He did retire a while before Harry came to Hogwarts didn't he? Oh well, if he plays a big part in your story you can totally ignore me but I did find it a little unrealistic.

Other than that little bit, I thought this was definitely a great chapter! I'm glad I got to read it and you can totally expect to see me back for the second and other chapters when you post them!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda, thanks so much for the awesome review!

I'm really glad you liked Adrienne- i'm always really worried that my OCs don't have enough personality, or that everything is just too plot-driven- it's so nice to hear that they're not :D

Louis is definitely getting a lot more screentime soon enough- I'm thinking of writing a chapter from his point of view, and hopefully I get to write more Lucy, as she's quite the nutter.

Ah, the closet. The cliche to end all cliche's. I'm really glad i got this challenge, because I've always wanted to write this particular trope with a giant twist. I don't think anyone who read the second chapter predicted what it was. Neither did I!

You are right about Slughorn. I was thinking he would be Horace Jr. - I mean, the man wore a silk dressing gown, in my head that means he's gotta have some sprog running about somewhere. I admit that that was mostly due to lazyness on my part, and I'll probably go back and change it to someone a bit more believable.

Thanks so much for the review! I'll be R&Ring overcoming obstacles any day now.


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Review #30, by ScarletEye158Trying not to love you: Chapter twenty-one - Too Early to Tell

26th April 2013:
Yay, another chapter!

Aww, poor Gwen! I can't believe she went to the practice, it must have been complete torture! I'm glad she made Freddy come though... That arse knew where James was the whole time and never told her! :P

I loved the story of how Freddy and Jen got together, lol. Totally something Freddy would do... and the fact that Gwen knew about it and stunned Fred was priceless. There was no way she was going to believe the story Jen told her!

Oh my goodness, we've finally arrived at the conversation about love! :o I do feel really happy for Gwen because I know how much she likes Joshua and how good of a guy he is, but I can't help resent Joshua a little bit because I still want James and Gwen together :/ So conflicting!!

Awww, James! He is so sweet! Seriously, only he could make Gwen that happy < 3

haha the coach yelling at Gwen was great! I know he is just looking out for her but he didn't have to be /that/ much of a jerk :P I'm glad Gwen didn't let him get her mood down though and I loved that she hugged him afterwards lol.

Ohmygoodness you don't even know how many Gwames feels I got from this chapter... That was such a cute moment and I just want to squee every time I read them :) Also the part in the kitchen where James said that he loves her and that he's the most important person... Oh James, if you only knew!

Gah, it's so frustrating to know how much Gwen loves him and see that James is developing feelings too... I just wanna punch them both and tell them how clueless they both are! And omg James, that comment about stealing her from Joshua and having babies with Gwen? ARE YOU READING MY MIND?! Please let this be foreshadowing, Hanna! :P

Oh... she thinks she might be falling for him... :( This is gonna be a huge problem later on, I can just tell! I just hope James gets up the courage to tell her soon before its too late :o

Haha anyways, this was a great chapter! Love, love, loved it and I can't wait for the next one! Hope you're able to update again soon! < 3

-Amanda

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Review #31, by ScarletEye158Trying not to love you: Chapter twenty - A Warm Welcome

21st April 2013:
Heeey! I've been waiting forever for this! :P

This was another fantastic chapter! I definitely think it was worth waiting for! It seemed like James was gone for way longer than a week though. Probably because of how spaced out the chapters were but also because we all missed him so much! :')

I thought Gwen's reaction to him coming back was great. I wouldn't have expected anything different from her and I'm just glad that he's okay and that she's not too mad at him for leaving her :P

Through their whole "catching up" I was conflicted because I was thinking about Joshua and silently saying "What about him? Oh who cares, James is back!" I felt bad for him, but James definitely needed her more. Ahhh what was James going to tell her?! I'm pretty sure it was something about being in love with her *crosses fingers!* and I can't wait to see what it was all about! I hope he confesses it to her and then she can dump Joshua (I can have him then, hehehe) and then they can be together and have actual little Gwames babies and live happily ever after! :) As I recall though, you said this story is going to be about 40 ish chapters so I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself :P

Anyways, sorry for my fangirling... I'm just excited you've started updating again (: I can't wait to read the next one! Nice job, girl < 3

-Amanda

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Review #32, by ScarletEye158Weasley Smart: Victoire Weasley

20th April 2013:
Aw, this was really cute :) I always love reading one-shots that are more on the random side and this definitely was a good one!

I loved how well you were able to give Vic such a strong personality in this. She was clearly very different from everyone else and didn't care and I really liked that about her :)

The story about the student telling her to do her homework and then threatening her was great. It had me laughing and I can't believe they had the guts to try and pull that on her :P

Haha, you ended this in a really cute way :) I felt bad for Poppy at first because of how cold Vic was being to her so I'm glad she didn't give up and walk away, but stated her intentions and actually got through to Vic. I think that's definitely something Vic needed and I like how surprised she was at how not all people try and use her. Hopefully she'll be able to lighten up a little bit after meeting Poppy; I think she could be good for her :)

Nice job, this was really sweet!

-Amanda

Author's Response: I'm pretty sure all of my one-shots will end up being on the random side.

I wanted to make Victoire different from how people normally saw her and I'm glad to see that people like this version of her.

The student threatening her was my favourite part while writing this (and that's because of how she told them off).

Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad that you enjoyed it!


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Review #33, by ScarletEye158Complicated: Complication #1

13th April 2013:
Hey there! This is a really good start you have! :)

I really like how well developed your characters are! It's usually really hard for me to read a story with so many OCs but I thought you gave them pretty strong personalities where I wasn't too overwhelmed! They all do seem a little too perfect though, so maybe giving them some faults or quirks would help? I can see some already in Abigail because she's the main character (and I particularly love the battle between the parents part) but the other three seem a little too good to be true.

Another part about this story that I really liked was how well it flowed! I'm not very good with flow in my writing but the way you transitioned between sentences, paragraphs and even new scenes was flawless! Nice job! :)

Your descriptions were beautiful, also. I loved how well you described the girls' looks. I could see them perfectly in my head and I liked that even though they all act the same you gave them all entirely different looks. I know some girls in my school dress exactly the same and change their hair and looks to match their friends and it's really annoying! lol

Ohhh, I can't wait to see what happens with Abigail and her boyfriend! Are they actually going to sleep together? I can tell she feels like she /needs/ to, but I don't really feel like she wants to! I hope she does the right thing!

This was a really good first chapter and I think it definitely is able to go somewhere! I hope you continue to write it because you're a very good writer :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll make sure to get on yours as soon as possible! :)

I'm glad you think I started it off well, because I do agree that sometimes it is hard to read a story composed entirely of OCs, simply because you don't know very much about them. As for their individual quirks/faults, those will definitely show up later. :)

Oh yay, it flowed well! I was a little concerned about jumping from scene to scene, but I'm glad to see it came out okay.

That will all be explained in the next chapters or so! I'm just going to leave it at that, because if I keep typing, I'll end up giving away the plot...

Thanks for the review - I'm glad you liked the story!

-ShadowRose


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Review #34, by ScarletEye158Aftermath: Cho

7th April 2013:
Hey there! This was a very beautifully written story and it had me nearly in tears by the end :')

I'm not a big fan of Cho, but you really made me feel for her in this chapter. I couldn't imagine losing the first boy I ever loved :( the poor girl went through so much and you put really good emotions into her character!

I liked how you didn't tell us exactly where cho was going right away. I was very curious to see what Cho was doing and I really liked the fact that you wrote this like we all knew what was going on and let us piece it all together :)

Her conversations with Cedric were so sad and beautiful! I know she felt silly talking out loud like that, but I think it probably did help her move on :)

I'm really interested to see where the rest of this short story collection is going to go and I'll definitely be on the look out for it!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you for the beautiful review. I'm glad you think it was well written, and confession time: I actually started crying while I was writing it! I was all "Oh poor Cho! Nobody thinks about Cho!" *sob*

I have to say that the start of this chapter surprised me, I was actually really proud with how it worked out and I feel like it really does serve the purpose of drawing the reader in. Thank you for commenting on it!

I've never really written a monologue like that before, but it really seemed to fit in this situation and hopefully the 'conversation' built up slowly to the emotional parts.

I've got another six instalments planned, I'm about halfway through the next one so hopefully it will be up soon!

Thanks again for the beautiful review! :)


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Review #35, by ScarletEye158Shades of Green: Hufflepuff and Proud

7th April 2013:
Hey Lauren! You thought this was bad? Heck no, I thought it was awesome! :)

This was a really cool story to read. I liked reading it from Cedric's POV because we didn't get to see too much of him in the 4th book and it was nice seeing how someone else interpreted the task. Even though we got to see how Harry saw it, I liked being able to see his view :)

I really liked the way you focused on the green throughout the whole story, too. I can totally understand why Cedric would have hated the color and it just sucks for him to have to die seeing it :(

I also really liked how frantic you made all of Cedric's thoughts seem. The constant thoughts of "Just keep going. Just keep going." made him seem completely terrified and showed that he was pushing himself to get the cup because he wanted it so bad.

I loved how loyal you had him being towards his house! He obviously wanted Hufflepuff to get some glory for once and I actually feel really bad for him that he didn't win :/ You did a great job with all of his emotions and I really liked this story :)

Nice job, Flobberworm! ;D

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Flobberworm!

First of all, sorry for taking this long to reply! I really appreciate the review though, it's so lovely!

I really enjoy Cedric in the books and so that's what made me want to do this. The green came from the light the spell creates but then it worked even better with the maze so I'm glad you thought it worked well!

One thing I was sure about with Cedric is that he had to be loyal so I'm so happy you both picked up on this and liked it!

Thanks so much for leavng such an amazingly lovely review! It means a lot!

Lauren :)


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Review #36, by ScarletEye158The Mysterious Case of the Twin Wands: II. Parvarti Patil

7th April 2013:
Hey Ral, I'm back :)

This was another really good chapter! I feel really bad for Parvati... Either she's lying (which I don't think she is) or someone framed her! I wonder who it could've been...

Haha Auror Scorpius is awesome. I felt bad that he was the one who had to do the interrogations by himself, especially because he was so exhausted! I understand why he had to do it, it would've looked bad of Harry or Ron interviewed her, but I still felt sorry for him :P

I like how you introduced the team of Aurors, too. It wasn't too overwhelming or anything and we got to meet some of the people who Harry works with :) I'm assuming we'll see them more throughout the story so it's good that you introduced them early!

Oh my gosh, cliffhanger! Another dead person? What's going on?! This story is definitely getting really interesting and I'm excited to read more!

-Amanda

Author's Response: I was on a sadistic rampage on the first chapters of this and people were dropping like leaves in the fall!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my dear! It really means a lot to me!


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Review #37, by ScarletEye158The Time of Day: The Time of Day

7th April 2013:
Hey there!

I thought this was a really interesting one-shot! I wasn't quite sure what this was going to be about because your summary didn't give much away, but as I kept reading, I was finally able to piece everything together. I really love stories that have me a little confused in the beginning and then make me have that "oh!" moment, so I really did enjoy this :)

Your descriptions were all very nice and I liked the little things you added to each character to make them seem believable. The holes on Severus' neck was the one that really stood out to me and it was a small description, but I really thought it added a lot :)

I also thought that the fact that Severus came back as a child was really interesting. It was probably one of his more happier moments in his life being at that age (even though his family wasn't the best) but it made a lot of sense for him to come back at that age.

I loved the fact that James let Lily go and comfort Sev, too. I know it must have been hard for him to accept that she wanted to help him but it was a really nice thing to do for her because I think Lily needed it as much as Sev did.

Your ending really got to me and had me a little teary, actually. I thought when she said "Always," to him, it was the perfect send off and was a really sweet thing for her to do.

Anyways, I really liked this and thought you did an amazing job with it :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Amanda! I'm so glad you liked the story. I didn't want to give too much away in the summary, but I'm happy that everything seemed to fall into place by the end.

I'm inclined to think the same thing -- that even with his family, Snape was probably happiest in those early years of knowing Lily. He didn't have a good childhood, but at least he had her for a little while.

I'm so glad you liked the bit with James. He wasn't really necessary to the plot, but I put him in there to show that just because Lily cares for Snape doesn't make her love James any less. And Harry was his son too -- letting Lily go to Snape without argument was James's way of saying thank you for what the man had done to protect Harry.

I love that this one word has become so integral to the pair. I just couldn't resist putting it in.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It was such a lovely surprise!


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Review #38, by ScarletEye158Rasputin: Severus Snape

6th April 2013:
Hey there! This was a really good one-shot! :)

I couldn't tell at all through this story that Snape was one of your least favorite characters! I think you definitely did him justice and didn't make your story biased on how you actually felt about him. Something I find really hard to do :P

The story on Rasputin was really interesting. I liked the way Sev's mom told him the story and how she connected it to his father. It definitely make sense that Snape would want to become the next Rasputin and you pieced that together very well :)

I also really liked how you connected Sev's father as the sole reason he hated Muggles. It definitely makes perfect sense and I just feel bad he had to grow up with him :/

This was an interesting story because it didn't have much of Lily in it. Even though it did mention her quite a bit, I liked how it was more focused on Sev and how his hatred of Muggles and fascination with Rasputin developed.

Great one shot! It was nice to read :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, I'm so glad that my dislike for Snape wasn't too obvious. He IS an interesting character, so no matter what, I want to do justice to his complexity.

I'm really glad that you liked it! I always figured that Severus's hatred for Muggles had to come from somewhere, and it would make sense for it to come from his father, much like Voldemort, except Voldemort can't love and Snape can. I really did want to limit Lily's involvement in this because although she was really important to his life, I feel like there's a lot more to Severus than just his feelings for her.

Thanks so much for your wonderful review!(:


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Review #39, by ScarletEye158Double Trouble: Friday: Slimeballs and Almost Heart Attacks

6th April 2013:
Yay, a new chapter! You don't know how long I've been waiting for this :p

Gah, you write Lorcan and Lysander so well! They are such cute little boys and I love how realistic you make them :) I also like that you don't have them coming up with all of the pranks on their own. It's very believable that they're copying James and getting help from George. They are both still very clever little boys but it wouldn't have been as realistic if they made up all the pranks by themselves :p

Ah, poor Teddy. He's such a sweetheart! He's so nice to have taken up this job and also for telling George not to call them/his parents crazy. I hope things go better for him, yet then again I kind of don't... These are some really funny pranks and I really enjoy reading them ;)

Please update soon, I need more of this cute-ness!

-Amanda

Author's Response: I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long! The next chapters are planned, so hopefully they won't take as long. It all depends on writing now...

Thank you, I'm so happy that you like the twins. I try to keep them and the situation with Ted as realistic as possible. I have family of all ages, so I kind of know what to expect, but I still worry. You just know they're copying James and George; pranking is a natural part of Weasley life... And Ted was warned. ;)

He's such a good person. Too good. The twins crush all goodness... Maybe. I guess we'll see what happens. :P

More pranks to come! Thank you so much for leaving a review.

Sam.


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Review #40, by ScarletEye158Proud to be a Lupin: Proud to be a Lupin

6th April 2013:
Awww this was soo adorable! Your summary made me squee and I knew I had to come read this :)

Teddy was such a cutie! I can totally see why he'd want to be a Weasley because everyone around him was and I thought it made a great plot point!

I thought you did really well with writing Teddy as a little boy. He seemed just childish enough but then still had some knowledge and maturity to understand why he wanted to change and figure out that he was different than everyone else.

Ah, I loved Vic! She definitely had the veela-ish way about her (I could tell from you nice descriptions) so I wasn't surprised that she was the one that would be able to get Teddy to see sense and make him come down. The foreshadowing you had with the "not being able to marry Ginny if Harry was a Weasley" was so good! I could tell where she was going with it and I actually said "aww!" out loud :p

The scene at the end where they were all together for the wedding was really nice. I'm glad all of the cousins were there and getting ready together and I can't blame them for not liking Vic's wedding colors :P

I thought you ended your one-shot perfectly! It was so sweet and I'm so glad I read this! I really needed a nice fluffy fic to read (:

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you for such an awesome review! It's lovely of you!
I'm glad I got the maturity right, because I was a bit unsure of how intelligent to make him, so thank you for noticing that :)
Aha, Vic is one of my favourite characters - probably because I know what it's like having loads of little cousins! I'm glad you liked her, in all of her veelaishness.
I love a good ol' wedding, so I couldn't resist putting one in at the end! Thank you for such a sweet, brilliant review - you're awesome :D
~Sophie


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Review #41, by ScarletEye158In My Dying Breath: In My Dying Breath

6th April 2013:
Oh my goodness Alli, this was so good! I think you matched Snape's character perfectly and you did a great job with expressing his emotions and memories.

All of the memories you showed really gave me chills. They seemed so realistic and something that could have been canon for the both of them :) I loved the way you wrote their friendship and even though I ship Lily/James, this really had me pulled towards Lily/Snape :)

I feel so unbelievably bad for Snape and really wished it could have turned out better for him. I'm just glad he was able to show Harry that he wasn't all bad. I liked the short interactions between those two as well, especially how intense the stare into Harry's eyes was.

This was such a wonderful one shot and I'm so glad I read t!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!

I was really worried about my characterization of both Snape and Lily in this story so I'm glad you thought Snape was in character. I tried to focus on the fact that they did have a strong friendship despite Snape secretly wanting more for so many years. I love Lily/James as well, but I can certainly see Lily/Snape working too if Snape wouldn't have joined the Death Eaters. I'm glad you liked the ending with Snape looking into Harry's eyes since it's such an essential part of the story. Thank you for your incredibly kind review!

Alli


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Review #42, by ScarletEye158The Girl Next Door: Prologue

5th April 2013:
Oh my goodness, Katie, this was such a good first chapter! You did a really nice job at setting up Sirius' and Lexi's characters since they were so young and it was really sweet to see how they interacted with each other :)

I feel so bad for both of them! They both have horrible families and I'm just glad they both found each other to talk to :) so Sirius was a second year at the end of this chapter then, right? I think I got it but just making sure :)

Oh my gosh what happened to her?! Sirius must be extremely worried and hurt because he doesn't seem like the type of person to cry over just anything! I really hope she's okay and Sirius finds out where she went... The part when he realized that the hole was closed up almost broke my heart and I just wanna cry for him :/

Ahhh, please please please update this soon! It's sooo good(:

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Amanda! (Especially for taking the time to type that lovely review on your phone!) Thank you so much! I didn't want to overdo the angst so I tried to make it have lighter moments, and I'm glad you thought it was sweet!

Technically, yes. This chapter ends the day before Sirius goes to Hogwarts to start his second year. :) (Don't worry, timelines are always the bane of my existence!)

You'll have to read on to find out! ;) Ah, I know! That part was so hard to write, because I really wanted to put my hands through my computer screen to hug little Sirius! :3

Ahhh, I definitely will! I keep feeling terrible over how long it's been since I updated! Thanks so much for reviewing! ♥


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Review #43, by ScarletEye158Burning Bright: Fading Fast

5th April 2013:
Hey there! This was a very nicely written story :)

I can definitely relate to you about wondering what Regulus was thinking. That's the one thing I always think about when I hear Regulus' name and I always feel really bad for him :/

I'm really glad you added in the parts about Regulus wanting to make Sirius proud. Everyone has at least one person in their life who they want to make proud and I could definitely see Sirius being that person in Regulus' life. :')

I really loved that you compared both Sirius and Regulus to stars, since both of them were actually named after them. It was a really nice metaphor and I thought it was a very clever thing to do!

This was such a bitter sweet story and I'm really glad I read it. I feel so bad for Regulus, but I'm also really glad he started to change and he wanted to make his big brother proud :')

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!

I'm glad that you could relate to him, and in a weird way I'm glad that you feel sorry for him, as I feel he's such a tragic character and deserves to be pitied.

I'm glad that you liked the bit about Sirius, I always found their relationship an interesting one, and I thought it would be somewhat realistic that he still felt some loyalty towards him.

Haha I wasn't too sure about the star thing, as a lot of people have already done it, but it was fun to include, so it's good that you liked it. Thank you for this lovely review,

-Kiana ;D


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Review #44, by ScarletEye158The Mysterious Case of the Twin Wands: I. Dedalus Diggle

4th April 2013:
Oh wow, this was awesome, Ral!

I really love the plot! Especially since it takes place after the war and nothing like this has happened since then. I also really like how you have Scorpius an Auror with Harry and Ron :) I love Scorpius an hope maybe he and Rose can be together! (Too far ahead? Yeah? Okay...) :P

Aww, I loved Teddy! He's probably one of my favorite characters and I'm glad he's following in his parents footsteps.

Oh wow, what a cliffhanger! Parvati?! I definitely need to keep reading this and find out what happens next!

So good, can't wait to read more!

Nice job, my little flobberworm! ;)

-Amanda

Author's Response: I love Rose and Scorpius together too!

Thank you so much for the review and the lovely words! They make me really happy!


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Review #45, by ScarletEye158The Blossoming: Hermione's Hideaway

15th March 2013:
Hey, I'm back! :D

This was also another really well written chapter! I love the way you make the story seem so flawless. The story flows so nicely, especially the parts where Hermione is in her office and walking around the house by herself. The descriptions make it so easy to follow and I'm never confused by your writing :)

Gah, Ron is so cute! Ron/Hermione are my absolute favorite pairing and your line "You can keep your Romeos and Casanovas', murmured Hermione, 'I've got Ron Weasley, and I love him." made me smile absurdly huge and my mom laughed at me for it :P I'm glad they were able to stick together and obviously have grown to love each other so much < 3

I really liked all of your background information about Hermione's job, especially the part where she used to work with Luna. It added a lot to the story without being overwhelming. I'm so happy you had her continuing with S.P.E.W because I honestly couldn't see her giving up on that.

all in all, great chapter! I'm excited to see how the party at the Burrow goes (:

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi again! Aw, such lovely comments... Thank you so much ♥ It's really good to hear that you find it easy to follow, I find that very important to being able to enjoy a story!

Yay, Ron/Hermione forever! I'm glad they made you smile. And the way you phrase it - that they've "grown to love each other so much" is so perfect. Many people rubbish their relationship because at the end of the books, they've only just officially got together and still have a long way to go in establishing their relationship as more than friends, but you've got it so right... they grow together, and their love deepens, and they get to know each other on a whole different level.

Yay for S.P.E.W! Hermione will always be Hermione, there's no two ways about it.

Thanks again!


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Review #46, by ScarletEye158The Blossoming: A Cake For Freddie

15th March 2013:
Aw, Sarah this is so sweet! I'm so glad I came to read one of your stories :)

I really, really like your portrayal of Molly. She seemed very Cannon to me and I loved it < 3 Your descriptions of her were really lovely and fit her perfectly. Her working in the kitchen is definitely the place she loves to be and it seemed like the perfect place to have the start of your story placed :)

Oh my goodness little Mop is so sweet :) Where did you come up with that nick name? lol, I love it! The way you had her interacting with Percy almost broke my heart from cute-ness. I love when dads and their daughters are sweet together (;

I liked your portrayal of Audrey, too. She seemed like a nice woman and I'm glad Percy met and her. She seemed to have calmed him down and it's awesome that she helped him with his job and become a candidate for Minster of Magic :)

So just curious, who are the other grandchildren that are born already? I'm sure you will answer this in other chapters but I'm a very curious person :P

Also, is Freddie born already? I was a bit confused on that part... I know they already obviously picked a name but I wasn't sure if he was already born or if they were having a party to announce the name.

This was so great! Amazing first chapter and I'm so excited to read the next ones! :D

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for coming by to read and review the first chapter of my big WIP. I'm so sorry I've taken a really long time to respond to reviews.

This chapter actually might be up for a bit of revision and editing soon, so it's really helpful to see that I could be clearer about Freddie in this first chapter.

Well, I just LOVE Molly Weasley. She's in my top 5 favourite characters, and every now and then is number 1.

Mop is adorable, right?! Haha. Well, I find it quite tricky, this habit the family have of naming their babies after other family members, so I didn't want to call her Molly. I just had this image of this mop of curly hair, and this toddler scooting around on the floor after her mum... And so Mop came to be! Aw, Percy. I'd like to think that despite his failings, he would have picked up on how to be a good dad from Arthur's example.

Haha I'm guessing I don't have to answer the question now that you've read on, but I will anyway! So, Harry and Ginny have James. Fred and Angelina have Freddie. Percy and Audrey have Mop, and Lucy is well on her way. Bill and Fleur have Victoire and Dominique.

Thanks so much for coming by, it does mean a lot to me to get feedback on this story!
Sarah


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Review #47, by ScarletEye158To be a Gryffindor: To be a Gryffindor

15th March 2013:
Hey there!

I really liked the way you wrote this :) The POV was really interesting!

I also really liked your plot. I feel like a lot of people ignore this part of the aftermath of the War and I hate that. It's something that happens to a lot of people after and I'm really glad you touched on that in this story. The way you wrote it seemed very realistic to me :)

I liked the way you portrayed Katie. I haven't read many stories about her (I usually read Next Gen) but the way you portrayed her and added in parts of HBP made her seem very cannon to me.

Oliver was so sweet! I'm glad he was able to help her see that life wasn't so bad and that it was okay to move forward. :)

I know this was only a one-shot and that it needed to move by fast but one thing I think if you ever edited this would be to maybe drag it out a bit. People don't move on from things they're that afraid of that fast, so maybe if you could add in something like "It took a few weeks but Oliver started getting through to Katie. He showed up at her door one day and Katie finally allowed him to lead her out of her house." I think it'd be a bit more believable if you did something like that :)

Really really good, I'm glad I read this!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey back!

I just realized that I never replied to this awesome review! I'm so sorry :(

Thank you a million times for all the feedback, it's really helpful and made my day!

I always look at next gen stories and wonder how everyone turned out so well. I mean, they must have all been through unbearable trauma in the battle, so when i saw the Phobia challenge I knew I needed to write some aftermath.

I'm really glad that you liked it and that it turned out so well.

You're totally right about people not getting over things that quickly, so thank you for the feedback and I will certainly take it into account if I edit this anytime soon.

Thank you again and again for reading and reviewing.
You're the best.
~Gill


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Review #48, by ScarletEye158Merry Go Round: Merry Go Round

8th March 2013:
Wow. That is literally all I can say. Let me go compose myself before I actually start to review this!

***
Okay, I'm back!

This story really hit home for me. I'm currently going through a similar situation but I don't really understand why I'm putting myself through it...

You did a really good job with characterizing Lily. She seemed a little wishy washy and unsure about everything but that made her very relate able. It's a lot easier to relate to somebody who's confused and going through a hard time rather than someone who is unbelievably strong and sure of themselves because a lot of people AREN'T sure of themselves. People have a lot of weaknesses and this OC is definitely Lily's.

I can already tell you, even though I don't know him, that I hate him. Anyone who leaves, comes back when he feels like it, messes around with other people and eventually leaves again doesn't deserve to be with someone who has so much love to give. And the fact that Lily acknowledges herself as his 'plaything' makes me really sad because she downgrades herself into something far less than she is.

I loved the way you wrote this too by the way. The short sentences, sometimes one word sentences added a lot even though they didn't say much. It showed just how choppy and lonely her thoughts were. Whoever this guy is he had a lot of control over her.

The flow of this was really nice and I didn't really find anything grammatically incorrect or awkward. You really did this type of story/topic justice and I'm really glad I read it.

Definitely one to add to the favorites! < 3

-Amanda

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Review #49, by ScarletEye158Infinity: Mine

8th March 2013:
Wow, this was heartbreaking. I should've known when it said it was a Fred story that it was going to end up with me in tears!

You did a really nice job with setting up the characters. We didn't really get to see into Fred's mind in the books but I thought you stuck to his personality really well. :) I liked how he was in part II. We never really got to see a fluffy/lovey side of Fred and I thought it was really sweet. I could tell he loved her with all of his heart < 3

I really liked Savannah, too. You made her a very believable character which is hard to do with a OC in a one-shot. The memories/scenes were all well written and staged really well and I felt like I knew her pretty well even though I really didn't.

Man, I felt so bad for her and George at the end. It must have been terrible for her to be sitting there waiting for him, not knowing if he would return. I'm sure she didn't know the extent of what was going on and what Fred was fighting for so that was probably the worst part :/ and poor George! It must have been hell to have to break that to Savannah. They both loved him so much :( I hope they were both able to grieve with each other!

gah, this was just so good! It had a really nice flow and didn't have any awkward transitions and I loved it :) Thanks for the lovely read!

-Amanda

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Review #50, by ScarletEye158Anamnesis: Anamnesis

8th March 2013:
Oh my goodness, this was so beautiful! I'm so glad I came to read it < 3

The second person POV was great! I've never really read second person story before but I absolutely adored this. You had some really great descriptions in this story and I loved how you kept mentioning that pink reminded Fleur of Dominique because of the flowers. It was a small, yet very powerful symbol.

The mother daughter relationship in here was really sweet :) I can imagine Fleur bonded so well with Dom because of how much they were alike and I'm glad you mentioned Vic and Louis in this as well. Contrasting the three of them really had me wondering about them and the relationship between them and their mother too.

I'm not going to lie, I teared up a bit when I realized Fleur had either dementia or Alzheimer's. The fact that she recognized her but was confused because she was trapped in her old memories was so sad :( she was so utterly confused but she didn't know why. I do have to applaud you on how you wrote her though. No body really knows what goes through the mind of somebody who's got this illness but you made it very believable and realistic.

So, so, so good! very lovely read! < 3

-Amanda

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