Reading Reviews From Member: Athene Goodstrength
126 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Athene GoodstrengthRecipe for Disaster: A Recipe for Disaster

25th August 2013:
Hahahaha, oh my. This was absolutely not what I was expecting (I guess it wasn't quite what Minerva was expecting either!), but I love it. So sweet, and so funny. What I like most about this little one-shot is that while some might see it as bordering on parody, it's actually quite in keeping with the silly, eccentric, wonderful Dumbledore I know and love. That side of him is often forgotten in fics, due to all of the secrets and manipulation :P The teddy-bear clips made me laugh. I think that probably is where we step into parody!

The enthusiasm and complete madness of both Dumbledore and Dobby make them ideal partners for such an escapade.

The imagery in this was great, and your grasp of dialogue is excellent too. I really, really liked the little touches that you managed to include in such a small story - Dumbledore showing respect to Dobby by calling him 'master Dobby', and McGonagall counting backwards *in Latin*.

This was really sweet (Ahaha!) and very enjoyable.

Thanks for the 'swap' ;)

Athene xoxo

Author's Response: I'm kind of flattered that it wasn't what you were expecting. :) I was going for the element of surprise. Guess it worked!

I am glad you liked it though, after you found out it wasn't what you thought! I love remembering Dumbledore's eccentric, playful side. It's what drew me to him as a character in the first place. Here is this man, one of the most powerful wizards ever, and he uses the names of candy for his secret passwords?

As for the teddy-bear clips, you're right, they were probably pushing it a bit. But, I just like to imagine they were a gift from some sweet little first year. Hehehehe

I always thought Dobby and Dumbledore would make great pals. They both love to try things. So, that's where this fic was born from.

Ah, thank you so very much for such nice compliments! It was a really fun story to write.

And thank you for the unexpected "swap" as well. This was great! I hope life is going a little better for you now.

- Farmgirl

 Report Review

Review #2, by Athene GoodstrengthFlight of the Heart: Boys Will Be Boys

15th August 2013:
This cheered me up so much last night. It's just so CUTE! Your relationship with little children and their parents is so evident here. Mia's combination of patience and exasperation feel so real, and I love seeing Aidan push his boundaries but ultimately be a good little boy. I can imagine it would be hard for Oliver not to fall in love with him, too!

This bit was maybe my favourite moment:
""Your rucksack is packed for school tomorrow?" Pause.
Mia listened as he fumbled around for a few seconds before he called, "Yes!" " ...Sooo cute!

This mixture of magic and muggle in Aidan and Mia's life is so interesting, and I'm keen to see where it's going. I like the way you introduce it - Aidan's mismatched pyjamas. Oh, the cuteness! I love how accepting he is of his dual life.

I like the contrast between the end of Mia and Aidan's section, and the start of Oliver's - to go from warm, cuddly bedtime to action, velocity, noise... I kind of feel like Oliver's going to shake up their happy little routine!

Claire is so funny - she's just as obsessive as her brother, just about her bakery instead! Haha! You're making me wonder about their parents :P

You have such a good handle on Oliver. He's so recognisable from the books, but you've managed to grow him up a bit. I'm glad he's come to see that rewarding them at the end will help! Although naturally, he's still got to be a bit nuts - " Bridget, his Seeker, looked like she might faint any second. Perfect." Hahaha!

Loved this. So cute, so lovely, you're really setting up these characters as interesting and with depth but also just so adorable I want them to be happy :)


Author's Response: You're giving me two wub Sarah reviews!!! AH!

You think I'd be sick of kids after so much time with them, but apparently I'm not because I'm having SO MUCH FUN writing the relationship between Mia and Aidan.

Awww I love what you said about Oliver going to shake up their routine! That's what I'm counting on, mwahah! And yes, I figured obsessive pushy nature would be a fun thing to have siblings to share. Hehe. Poor Mia isn't going to know what hit her soon!

Thank you for making me so happy and warm and fuzzy with your sweet reviews! I'm so excited I'm finally replying to them, because it's put such a huge smile on my face!


 Report Review

Review #3, by Athene GoodstrengthFlight of the Heart: A Chance Meeting

13th August 2013:
Jami! How is it possible that I haven't actually R&R'd this? I thought I had! Well anyway... it's SO adorable. You write lovely warm fluffy fluff. I really enjoyed this initial portrait of Oliver. Although it's clear that he is very much an independent man, we can see that this isn't because he's disrespectful or cruel towards women (as the tendency often goes in writing a single man with things on his mind other than falling in love) - in fact, it's clear from his friendships and the way he treats Mia that he likes and respects women, and they appear to like him too ;) The fact that his obsession with Quidditch is what keeps him out of becoming invested in a relationship is absolutely perfect - Wood has always been crazy about Quidditch to the point of mania, but outside of that he always seemed a very nice, normal guy. I love your stance on his career - he always seemed more of a manager/coach in the books than a star player anyway!

The way you write Mia is very good - she's quite enigmatic, in a protective sort of way, and you make us want to know more about her, in the same way that Oliver wants to know more! And Aidan is really sweet and I could hear his lovely childish enthusiasm... d'aww. I found it interesting that Oliver took an instant liking to him, but referred to Freddie (argh, just double-checked - he's Fred in this :P) as a 'runt'. Although I suppose that could just be a boy's term of endearment! Speaking of boys, that line about him being only twenty-nine made me snort after our conversation/my rant last night!

I really love the set-up in this. It's not all thunderbolts and love at first sight... sure, there's attraction, and interest, but Oliver has other things on his mind at the moment and I love that. You make fluffy romance feel really refreshing!

The descriptions and dialogue in this are great - I really felt I could envisage the scene. I love Oliver's face. Yum face.

Oh, and the old Gryffie Quidditch team getting together and hanging out is such a lovely idea. The way you have Oliver correct himself from 'dead bodies' to 'dead children' is really striking and gut-wrenching, amidst all of this lovely warm fluffiness! You. You're good.

I wonder what Misty means about Mia coming in during the cooler months... kind of an odd thing to notice (or maybe I'm just really not observant. No maybe. I'm not.)

I love this story! Can't wait to read on.

Author's Response: I have a Sarah!!! HI!

I'm so happy you like my fluffy warm Oliver-ness! I really like the writing adults, and relationships that have to form with two people who didn't grow up together/didn't start out together young... the sort of thing where it isn't dating young hten stepping into adult world together, but two adults deciding to try and make something work. Did I make any sense just now? I'm on vacation, I don't have to make sense!

I'm so happy that you like Mia and Aidan!! I'm excited to get more time to work on this, because I really feel like they could benefit from having Oliver in their life. *insert fluffy hearts* hehe.

I wasn't sure how much to give to the second war in this. I mean, it had to have influence Oliver. He went back to fight, he carried a dead child's body... I like the idea of it all bringing them closer together after they were able to start healing again. I have a softy heart!!

THANK YOU my lovely ♥ You know how much I love your reviews, and now I miss you want want to huggle you ♥

 Report Review

Review #4, by Athene GoodstrengthWhat Happened After?: Chapter 1: After

18th July 2013:
Wow, this little chapter certainly packs a punch! There are some truly wonderful ideas and images in it, that feel like you put a lot of thought into how the characters would be feeling and behaving. The characterisation is very good, particularly that of Harry... The sequence at the beginning is great, and I really like the way you have him thinking of the others who died as people he'd 'killed' - that seems very like Harry! Poor boy. I would say, it's not clear at first what's going on when you transition from the dream to being awake, because of the initial setting outside Dumbledore's office... Maybe you could make the dream be just about the people who died. Or even not a dream at all! Why not write out the whole scene where he sits in Dumbledore's office and thinks about it all, afterwards? You have lots of great ideas and images, but if you expanded them with some imagery, description and some more dialogue, this could be really excellent. :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by Athene GoodstrengthAfterwards: Chapter 2

18th July 2013:
Oh, oh... I never use this word, but, "feels". So many feels! This chapter is a little emotional roller coaster... You managed to make this sense of sadness and loss pervade the whole thing, perhaps more with your descriptions of the destruction of the castle, Harry's first real home after the death of his patents, than with the memories of people having died.

But despite the sadness, there are really heart-warming moments, such as Molly trying to rally her troops, Harry humming to himself, Ginny seeking him out and telling him what I've always personally believed (they never really broke up!)... And the conversation between Harry and Ron. That was probably my favourite bit. I feel like you know their voices really well, and did a great job of portraying thei relationship in a way that feels true to them.

So I was feeling quite cheered, and hopeful... And then my OTP start acting up! Sigh! But you handled their awkward conversation really well, and again, it doesn't seem out of character at all. I liked the image of Ron kicking the stones - there's something so forlorn and endearingly childish about it.

Loved this chapter, can't wait to read on.

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I wanted to concentrate on the relationships in this chapter, so I'm glad you liked it :)
Sorry about Ron and Hermione - I had to do it! The good bits aren't nearly as good if you don't have some bad bits in between ;)
Thanks for reading and reviewing- you make me happy!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Athene GoodstrengthAfterwards: Chapter 1

18th July 2013:
Where do I even begin with this? This opening chapter brought me to tears. I have often wondered about the days immediately following the battle, and have seen a few fics which try to describe them, but I don't think any of them have come up with something quite so perfect and as moving as this.

You use imagery and description really well, and I could envisage the scene as I was reading, which is always - to me- vital in enjoying a story (no matter how sad it may be!). I also really love HPFF that makes natural, unforced use of magic, and you accomplish that beautifully here. The scattering of flowers from wands, the white balls of light, and oh my goodness - the patronuses at Fred's grave. That's probably one of the most moving, beautiful and fitting ideas or images I've ever come across on this site. The idea that the family use their very personal guardians to see Fred to his rest is just so. Ack, I'm lost for words. Tender, and thoughtful, and really, should be canon.

My only CC is that this chapter seems to move quite quickly, and I wonder if you could have spent some more time at each of the scenes - maybe use some dialogue. That said, I kind of like the silent, reflective nature of this chapter...

This was lovely. Well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I really love it when people write such long messages- I find them really helpful :)
I'm glad you liked the way I treated Fred's death and the use of magic in the chapter, and your comment about thickening out the texture is really helpful, and one I've had before on these first few chapters. I've been meaning to go back through these early chapters and add some more dialogue in since they're a bit sparse at the moment- I just need to find the time.
Thank you so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #7, by Athene GoodstrengthThe guide through magical pregnancy: Isnít pregnancy a wonderful thing?

18th July 2013:
Awww, Shrimpy! Trust Ron. And trust Hermione to know he means it well! Oh, poor old Hermione... That morning sickness really doesn't sound nice at all.

I really enjoyed the healer appointment section of this chapter, although i must say if the healer spoke to every woman about all of those scary things, there'd be a lot of terrified pregnant witches out there! Also, I know I've struggled with thinking of how magical women would travel when they're pregnant... I like your solution! Ideally women should be visited at home, they're more likely to feel comfortable enough to ask questions etc! I'm very excited to see where you go with th ins and outs of magical pregnancy.

Speaking of which, I absolutely adored your magazine titles! They're absolutely inspired! The Tummy Transfiguration was my favourite. I'm quite envious I never thought of those, haha!

The beautiful nature feel of the office was a really lovely touch, and one of those things you can do in a magical world that you really wish you could do here too! I actually have a rather similar description in my own story, haha! Great minds, hey?

Once again. Lots of lovely dialogue, details and imagery... I did notice some odd wording and sentence structure as well as formatting issues. It might just be worth reading this aloud to yourself so that you can hear where it's a little off... That's what I do!

Loving this :) Athene xo

Author's Response: Oh, how I'm starting to love your reviews, please leave more of them!

It really amazing to me how many things you pick out of the story to comment on in the review (in a very lovely and positive way!)

I had the biggest fun thinking up the magazine titles. It's one of those things that I really enjoy doing, so if you need some of those things let me know!

I don't know if you've met James at this point in the story... You'll probably adore him, my beta did, anyhow.

Please leave some more review for me, they really just brightened me already pretty nice day.

Thank you so very, very much and have fun with the chapters to come!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Athene GoodstrengthThe guide through magical pregnancy: Okay, how do I put this?

18th July 2013:
Another unbelievably cute chapter! Your handle on Ron and Hermione's relationship just makes me grin from ear to ear. It feels like a real relationship, with their habits and the lines they always say to one another.

At the same time, the characters individually feel very in keeping with the Hermione and Ron we know and love... Especially Ron's ability to lovingly stumble into a total gaff by repeatedly asking his girlfriend if she was having a bad period! He tries to be understanding and kind, but sometimes it just doesn't come out right, bless him. I'm so glad you gave him a positive reaction to the pregnancy... I honestly can't see him being angry or upset about it, although that seems to be a popular trope in FF! The reaction you gave him was great, and it was nice to see his mind turn to the practicalities of having a baby (enough room etc)... Our Won Won's all grown up :) although of course, he'd go straight to his mum when he wants food! Haha.

Again, you include some excellent details that just add to the realistic, happy, comfortable feel of this story, such as describing Ron's hop across the room as he fights his socks!

I'm really enjoying this :)

Author's Response: And yet another great review! Wow, I'm having so much fun reading them! You're a good reviewer!

I'm really glad you like the way I wrote Ron and Hermione. They are easily my favorite characters and I loved writing them.
I couldn't believe Ron reacting bad at the idea of starting a family with Hermione. He comes from a big family, but having your own little family is something different.

It's so great to hear how much you enjoy the story and what it is that make you so enthusiastic.

thank you for the review!!

 Report Review

Review #9, by Athene GoodstrengthThe guide through magical pregnancy: This canít be true, right?

18th July 2013:
Oh my goodness, everything about this is just so sweet and adorable! I've also got a story about Ron and Hermione's first pregnancy, set when Hermione's 26, and it's amazing and delightful to see the different take you've made on it.

You really *get* Ron and Hermione, I feel. Your characterisation of them is spot-on, from Ron's ability to sleep, to Hermione's relentless turning over of thoughts in her brain, to Ron getting that sometimes she just needs to think! Their relationship in this chapter feels so like them.

I like that you've given Hermione some reservations about having a baby at that point - I agree that anything that might affect her career would be a big worry to her.

The pregnancy test potion was a very nice, thoughtful touch, and I liked how it worked.

You make really lovely use of imagery and description, and the line about the bumblebee stuck out to me in particular - it's just one of those little details that marks out a good storyteller.

There were a couple of spelling/grammar issues, but they were small and definitely didn't detract from the chapter as a whole. Adding to favourites!

:) Athene xo

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!
I'm grinning right now, I really am. It's absolutely awesome to hear that somebody likes my story enough to make it their favorite!

I'm very curious to read your take on their first pregnancy now. If I have time I'll read it and leave you a review.

Thank you so much for the compliments. I really like to hear what parts of my story people like the best.

just thank you!

 Report Review

Review #10, by Athene GoodstrengthAn Anniversary: Anniversary

18th July 2013:
This story was a lovely sweet read to stumble across! I feel that you captured Ron and Hermione's relationship very nicely, showing how comfortable they are (and always have been) with each other. It wouldn't be a Romione without a little bickering either, and it's nice to see that you didn't take that too far as many writers do, and have them get into a blazing row!

I really liked the fact that you allowed the practicalities of day to day life to get in the way of their romantic anniversary - work, children, travel... It really worked. Of course, you then give us a lovely pay-off with the surprise party, which actually really did surprise me! Haha!

I think that your strong point is definitely dialogue, as you do some really nice conversations here, but this story could definitely do with some more description to help the reader envisage the scene. What does Ron and Hermione's house look like? Is the cake delicious? How do the characters look? And then, how do they feel? I think you have a really good foundation in this story, but it could be built on to make it even better! :) Athene xo

Author's Response: Thankyou so much for appreciation. This was my first try at Romione and I'm glad it worked out.

Well, I had to include the party for what's anniversary without one? Actually the theme was sort of inspired by my parents' anniversary as they celebrated their 20th anniversary only few days before I wrote this XD

And since this was a challenge and I had a word limit I didn't add description but might edit it if time permits.

Keep reading... :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by Athene GoodstrengthAnother Chance: Arrival

18th July 2013:
Oh my gosh, this was so adorable! What a lovely idea for a story... It's so good to see them returning to Hogwarts for something nice. I think your characterisation of Ron is particularly good. You capture his cheerfulness (why do people always make him totally moody?!), and even the way he talks, really well. I loved the line about Scorpius! And Ron and Harry flying off on a race is so them, it's great. I like his big romantic statement... Ron Weasley has really grown up! We often see him in FF having lots of regrets - it's good to see him here doing something about that! And something positive! And romantic. Ah, sigh. You write their relationship very nicely.

Your portrayal of McGonagall is also particularly spot-on! I'd like to think that she'd have wiped away a little tear herself, haha!

The final line was great. I can't remember if this is listed as a one-shot or not, but if it isn't I hope you're planning on continuing, as it's so sweet and well-written.

Athene xo

Author's Response: A little late on my part, but thank you so much!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Athene GoodstrengthTwo Weasley's and a Coffee Shop: Ron

18th July 2013:
Wow, Ron's life really has been thrown a curveball! I never imagined him in a band! Poor Ron has been through a lot, hasn't he?

This is an interesting idea for a story, and definitely original, but I wonder if you'd consider expanding on this chapter? You could write some of the scenes you've described, with dialogue and some description to help create an image in the reader's mind. Also, this chapter is quite tricky to read as it is a large block of text - you could consider putting in some paragraph spaces just to break up the story a little.

You have done a good job of setting the scene and the backstory, it would just be nice to see some of that story being played out, or how Ron feels about it.

A good start, though!

Author's Response: Thabks for the feedback. I'm trying to expand chapters, but I'm struggling to get over/up to 1000 words at least. I'll definitely use this advice for if not the upcoming chapters, the next story. Thanks.

 Report Review

Review #13, by Athene GoodstrengthHopelessly Star-Crossed: Harry's Plight

18th July 2013:
Oh, you're making me feel so conflicted! In Harmony stories, or Dramiones etc, there's often a tendency to ignore Ron and Hermione's relationship altogether... But you write their relationship with a real sweetness, and Harry and Ginny's relationship feels really tender and understanding.

I like the way that you give hints as to Harry's confusion, by making him mimic Ron and Hermione, as if he doesn't know how to be romantic with Ginny without copying! And just as you've built them up all romantically, and Ginny says she loves him, Harry's response from 'common sense'. It's so sad! Poor Harry, poor Ginny.

This was a good chapter! The formatting is a little off, with too much spacing though, might be worth checking that out :)

Author's Response: Oh yes, I hate the thing that happens with the spacing :/ one day I have to go back and fix all my chapters with that. Thank you for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Athene GoodstrengthHopelessly Star-Crossed: Prequel: The Incident

18th July 2013:
Wow, what a second chapter! This was unexpected, but is a good idea for this story... The fact that there's actually already a history between them really makes sense for the feelings they have after the war. I wonder how they keep all of this a secret from Ron!

You write the kisses very vividly and expressively, but I wonder if this chapter might benefit from you using your descriptive skills in other areas, so that the actual kisses don't seem to be the only focal point of the chapter... The changing relationship comes across well, but I do think it would be interesting to hear more about what they're thinking and feeling - why do they keep wanting to keep it feeling-free?

I noticed that at one point you changed tense - "They both shared a laugh, and Hermione gives him a peck on the cheek. It lingers slightly, and then she releases gently."

Otherwise, really interesting chapter! Well done :)

Author's Response: Ah, I should fix that. Thank you for this! I really should have done that, looking at it now :/

 Report Review

Review #15, by Athene GoodstrengthHopelessly Star-Crossed: The Missing Piece

18th July 2013:
This is such an intriguing start to a story! It's so full of promises, to the readers and to the characters. Although I'm usually a big fan of strictly canon relationships, I've enjoyed reading this chapter... You capture a certain atmosphere of shock, where anything can change, and anything can happen. The sense of loss and confusion is quite palpable as people cling to what they knew during the war (quite literally, as the 'canon' relationships embrace each other) and don't know if those relationships are right any more.

This is a really interesting start to your story - I can see that things are going to get messy here! I'm keen to see how the feelings people are having might come to the surface.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) I really appreciate how much you reviewed, and hopefully I can continue soon! Bad case of writers block after chapter 6 :/ THANK YOU! :D

 Report Review

Review #16, by Athene GoodstrengthThe Half-Blood Princess: The Man

18th July 2013:
Hello! What an interesting beginning to your story. I like the idea that Hermione's actually a halfblood. And the line about her stepfather smiling every time she calls him 'dad' was really sweet. It's very sweet and very Hermione that she, aged 11-12 would have a subscription to a science magazine.

I did notice that this chapter suddenly loses its dialogue, and for a moment I thought you'd published part of a chapter outline! It's when she sees 'the man' again. This is a really interesting scene, and would be really good if maybe you extended it and described how she felt and what she thought. Also, it might be an interesting thing to see them explain to Hermione, who has a scientific mind, that science exists.

Otherwise, this is definitely an intriguing and original start to your story!

Author's Response: Thanks for the comment. Right now I'm just worrying about finishing the story, but maybe on the second draft, I'll work on it.

 Report Review

Review #17, by Athene GoodstrengthAge of Peace and Times of Joy: Christmas Reflections

18th July 2013:
Hello! What a lovely idea for a story. I really love Weasleys, and I'm always interested to see what sort of epilogue people might like to write for my favourite family :)

You include lots of lovely, interesting details in this story, and Molly's loving, worrying personality really just comes across very well. There seem to be lots of stories that you could expand upon really interestingly in their own stories - the shocker of Percy and Audrey, plus baby Molly for one thing! That really surprised me.

I really liked the description of little Dominique being similar to her aunt Gabrielle - that's a nice canon-type touch.

I do think Molly's reaction to Charlie's life is a little out-of-character... Although family means everything to her, I don't think she'd be disappointed in him for not marrying or having children. Perhaps she'd be worried that he'd be lonely, but she never seemed like the sort of mum who'd be disappointed by something like that. Maybe you could expand Charlie's section slightly and talk about his work? Just a suggestion :)

I absolutely loved the line about only worrying about Ron and Hermione if they *stopped* bickering. That's so them.

I enjoyed this! A really original idea.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've written down your suggestions and will consider how best to include them. The idea of expanding some of the sections into their own stories is a wonderful idea. Thank you.

I'll take another look at Charlie's section and see how best to change Molly's worry.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #18, by Athene GoodstrengthBefore They Fall: Breaking Curfew

17th July 2013:
Jami, I love love loved this chapter so much. It's so fun! Lily is my absolute heroine. We're really seeing her Lily-ness coming out, now. I love that you stay true to her, though, by showing her shock at breaking the rules alongside her kick-butt-ed-ness. And the kick-butt-ed-ness (which is now a word) comes from a place of deep integrity, and righteous anger at seeing injustice and bigotry. You write her so well. And she's funny, too. Her snarky little thought about McGonagall not mentioning that James and Sirius break the rules on a daily basis made me laugh. Oh, and she's adorable... The thing about laughing whenever she's in trouble was so cute. I know that feeling! Haha.

To go back to the Belle and Sirius aspect of things... I love Sirius so much, sigh. His anger on Belle's behalf is so touching. WOULD HE JUST TELL HER HE LOVES HER, ALREADY?! And stop stalking around to hide the fact that he's angry about what happened to her (how very Sirius)... he should just tell her why hes angry, and he's not mad at her, and he loves her, and they're going to run away together, The End. The conversation and relationship between him and James is so perfectly drawn. You know these guys so well, and they know each other so well.

Your portrayal of the Slytherins is really fab... They're so nasty and petty and horrible, but not necessarily 'evil'. They're like baby Death Eaters... They're horrid, bigoted bullies, but they're not quite there yet - in the same way that our heroes are brave, kind, strong people, but they're not quite ready to do battle. I really liked you showing Snape's desperation to get away from that situation... You're managing to show his feelings for Lily, and how he feels torn between her and his powerful friends, without him seeming to be a little romantic hero - but not a total villain either.

Oh Jami, this was so good. The final few lines were so heart-melty and perfect and I want to squish your little Marauders forever and ever.

Ps. I got to the 'preview' button before I remembered - I love Dumbledore so much in this! He's twinkly, and angry, and gentle and perfect. It's so good to see a canon-realistic Dumblydoo.

Author's Response: Sarah! See! I'm here, I've made my way to your review and it's going get responded to before I get a response from you, missy!!

I think we're going to have to discuss adding kick-butt-ed-ness to the dictionary. There aren't enough tripled hyphen words out there :P I don't like when Lily is made to be TOO goody goody, because, well, good girls can do things that probably are breaking the rules, but for good reasons! Or, in the case of her going to walk around, just because, I suppose :P. You should know all about that, missy cookie stealer!

So many people seemed surprised by the way Sirius reacted to Belle's new. He's Sirius! He doesn't handle things well, and when he's out of his element he just has to go stalk off like a five year old until he works things out himself. Or has James to push at him to work them out :P. And I like your ideas of how he just needs to tell her he loves her, tell her why he's angry, and just in general stop being so emotionally stunted :P!

Snape will never be easy for me to write, and the fact that I bring him into this book as little as possible is probably good proof of that, haha. It's just, I don't know. Their friendship is over and he does nothing to fix that, neither does she. They both know it's over, they grew apart and his darkness and need for power is just too much. But then of course as soon as she'd dead, died a tragic death with her husband, he's so in love with her and blah blah.

End Snape Rant. Haha

You know what a pain Dumbledore is for me, so I'm super excited you liked him! I still can't believe how perfect you got him in your Umbridge story! And I love making your heart melty and now I want to squish YOU!

Thank you so much my lovely Sarah for making me feel so full of happiness-ies!

♥ ♥ ♥

 Report Review

Review #19, by Athene GoodstrengthSmile: Smile

16th July 2013:
Weasley fluff is the best sort of fluff ;)

This was so adorable. You did a really nice job of setting the scene in the domestic heaven that is The Burrow. I like how before a single child is even born, they're slightly chaotic. Arthur's reaction to the pregnancy is really, really lovely - in fact, I wrote a very similar dialogue between Ron and Hermione in my WIP! Haha! Like father, like son.

The relationship is very realistic to the Arthur and Molly we know, and the characterisation is similarly excellent.

I enjoyed this!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Athene GoodstrengthRegrets: Regrets

16th July 2013:
Wow! This is very striking! I feel like you really got into Lucius's mind... And it would have been very easy to make it all about his regrets, but you include good memories too, to show what he's lost. It makes it more poignant.

The imagery is very strong, and I could vividly imagine the story. I had this growing sense of dread as the story continued, and the line about the beast lowering its hood was a full-on shudder moment! The last paragraph is so sad, but you also get across the sense that Lucius is finally going to be able to rest from his dance with darkness, and that's a comfort.

The formatting on here is a little off, with big spaces between paragraphs - maybe just check it over.

Otherwise, this was fantastic. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I will look over the pharagraph thing, thanks for the tip.

 Report Review

Review #21, by Athene GoodstrengthAnachronous: In a Man's World

16th July 2013:
Ah, this is so beautiful. And it's always wonderful when one of your favourite writers decides to write about one of your favourite characters. I actually joined HPFF because I wanted to write a story about Andromeda! She's fascinating, sad, powerful, powerless, a rule-breaker and conventional all at once - and I think you manage to capture that so well, and in so few words.

I actually can't get my head around how you managed to tell her life story, with all of those supporting characters, all of those emotions, those crazy dramatic moments, so succinctly. And powerfully. And with such excellent characterisation.

Once again, you've stunned me. One day, I'll remember to just go into your stories knowing that I'm about to be blown away.

Author's Response: She's fascinating, isn't she? I'd love to read more about her, though I don't have any further plot bunnies at this time for myself. Obviously she's much stronger than she gives herself credit for in my version of her life here.

Thanks so much for your wonderful compliments. I can't decide whether to blush, cry, or both! It really means a lot to know that my work has made an impression on you :)


 Report Review

Review #22, by Athene GoodstrengthHer Emerald Eyes: Her Emerald Eyes

16th July 2013:
This is so sad, and gripping, and movingly written. I can't believe it's your first one-shot! And you did a great job with the second person. I really like the memories flashing through Lily's mind, and I really like that you included a reason for her not fighting back! The moment that James died was really well-written - dramatic but not cliche, you kept it simple and heart breaking.

I did notice that in the first paragraph 'you wonder how he found you' sounds like you're still talking about Harry, which confused me for a moment! But apart from that, this was really, really well done. You should branch out more often! You might surprise yourself :)

Author's Response: Thank you for such a kind review! I sort of went out of my comfort zone whilst writing this, as this is the first time I've EVER written in 2nd person. But I'm glad you enjoyed it and will be definatley do another Lily/James one-shot!

 Report Review

Review #23, by Athene GoodstrengthWhat It Is To Love: What It Is To Love

16th July 2013:
Yay, Weasleys! My favourite. I really liked this one-shot. I feel like you have a really good handle on who each of the wonderful Weasley's are, and your characterisation of Molly is lovely. Sometimes people do her down for being 'just' a mother, but it's clear to me (and, it seems, to you!) that she's actually a full-time, loving mother, who was born to be a mum. I like the idea that she's imagining that Ginny will be the same! I'm sure Ginny would be an excellent mum, but she's probably a little more of a tomboy than Molly would have hoped ;)

This was really sweet, well done! Good luck in the challenge,.

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for your feedback. I am so happy to hear that I did a good job with the Weasleys, as well as with Molly's character! Thank you again for the review!

All the best,

 Report Review

Review #24, by Athene GoodstrengthMemory loss: Who am I?

16th July 2013:
What an interesting idea for a story! I liked the changing relationship with Dudley... What a shame he died! But an interesting plot twist :)

The letters from everyone were really sweet and felt quite in character. There are a few grammar and punctuation problems that make this story a little tricky to read - it could perhaps benefit from being read out loud so that you can see where it sounds a little odd, or you could request a beta reader on the forums to help point out some bits you could edit.

Otherwise, this was a sweet little story - I loved the ending. Harry and Ginny forever ;)

Author's Response: Thanks!! (:

 Report Review

Review #25, by Athene GoodstrengthNightmares: Nightmares

16th July 2013:
Hey! This was really enjoyable! (Well, sad, but enjoyable!)

The dream sequence is so well-written, it really sucks you in straight away, and I had very vivid images of it in my mind. I never really thought about life in the Room of Requirement before, and this was an interesting and realistic take on it. I liked Cho's feelings about Marietta's relatively easy sleep, and I liked the little touch of Ariana smiling at Seamus.

This line seemed a little oddly worded - "Ginny Weasley already thought enough weakness of her as it is.", and the lines are all quite spaced out, so maybe you could have a look at the formatting? But otherwise, very enjoyable. Well done!

Author's Response: Hey! I'm so happy you find it enjoyable! The dream is my favorite part of the one shot. I'm so pleased with the vividness of it. Thanks for enjoying the parts about Marietta as well as Ariana and Seamus (I just had to add this! It seemed adorable!) And yes, that line seems a bit oddly worded... I'll go through and touch that up! The lines being spaced out is probably from how it automatically double spaces it, and it keeps adding to the space between the lines. I'll fix that up too! Thanks!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>