Reading Reviews From Member: cartoonheart94
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #26, by cartoonheart94Take These Broken Wings: Chapter 5: Cockatoo

22nd February 2012:
yay! i get to see rose and her relationship with her cousins. i really liked the chapter, and i liked the development of henry's mom, it really amplifies henry and cassie's characters. can't wait to see the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: I am glad that it is improving, thank you so much for point out that area that I needed to improve! I am glad that you are still reading, and thanks for your review!

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Review #27, by cartoonheart94Dark Will Linger: First Class Lessons

9th February 2012:
i liked the beginning of the chapter, it was pure and sincere. but during the middle, i kinda got the vibes that harry was a tad too bossy, which was something that i had trouble imagining.
i think that you could add a bit more conversation in the story, i like your use of vivid description and detail. can't wait to read next chapter

Author's Response: Fair comment I guess. I rewrote these first four chapters because I was told (correctly) that my earlier story was not descriptive enough. So I was still trying to find the right balance and also try to describe what they were feeling. There are lots of conversations later. Some chapters work better than others and I definitely have my favourites.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback. Glad you're enjoying it so far.


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Review #28, by cartoonheart94Hermione and the Hooligans: The Ending

9th February 2012:
wow! this story made my day! you pointed out all the things people change in other ships that make the characters unrealistic and completely mary-sueish! i applaude you for that!
i give this story 10/10 mate! its wild, wacky and breaks all the rules!
i hope you write another spoof fanfic soon.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #29, by cartoonheart94Hermione and the Hooligans: The Middle of the Story

9th February 2012:
lol! okay, is this story supposed to be like a spoof of all the sappy romantic fanfics?
its silly, wacky, crazy and alot of fun! i love it

Author's Response: Yes this is definetely a spoof. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #30, by cartoonheart94Take These Broken Wings: Chapter 4: Flamingo

9th February 2012:
i'm happy to see more of rose this time, though you need to work on the conversations a little more to make them have that natural feel. otherwise, its great! i hope you keep roxy in the rest of the chapters because her rambunctious fun behaviour does bring a lot of life to the story. i can't wait to read the next chapter

Author's Response: She will definitely stay around for a while, I like writing about Roxy! I am glad that you are planning to keep reading, and I am working on all of your suggestions, which are really helpful! Thanks :)

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Review #31, by cartoonheart94Take These Broken Wings: Chapter 3: Eagle

9th February 2012:
third chapter down the line. i like that you've shrunk roxy down to 7, many people, including myself, always imagine her as older.
again, i'll say this, i like the story. it's coming on to me like an abstract painting: i imagine rose and henry's lives having a lot of grey, but their are some life-giving themes underplaying the grey background, such as the bright red door and the yellow boots.
i like it, and i'm moving on to the next chapter

Author's Response: Thank you so much for sticking with the story! I really like to hear how it progresses, so thank you so much for your help! I love reading your reviews and trying to alter my writing! Thanks again! :)

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Review #32, by cartoonheart94Take These Broken Wings: Chapter 2: Falcon

9th February 2012:
it's a really good chapter. dare i say, your writing style is better than most of the veteran authors here. i still think you need to work a little harder on shaping rose's character but as for henry, you have it spot-on. well done

Author's Response: Thank you, again! I will continue working on Rose, but thanks for your advice, and I am glad that you like Henry! This means so much to me, thank you so much!

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Review #33, by cartoonheart94Take These Broken Wings: Chapter 1: Robins

9th February 2012:
i really like where this story is going, i hope rose ends up with the muggle boy. i give this 8/10 because the first part- rose's part- felt a little two dimensional, but henry's part i feel is excellent and was airtight, it was like looking at the magical world through a window.
anyway, let me proceed to the next chapter and see

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! It really means a lot to me! And thank you so much for your advice about Rose's character! I will definitely work on that in the proceeding chapters! I am glad you like the idea for the story, and I hope you continue reading! Thanks again for your advice!

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Review #34, by cartoonheart94Dark Will Linger: Reunions and Adjustments; Sorrow and Joy

8th February 2012:
i like it! i can't belive that after 22 chapters, this is the first review, especially seeing as this is such a great story, i cant wait to read the other chapters

Author's Response: Thank you so much for commenting. I was begining to think everybody hated it! Hope you enjoy the rest of it. Personally I think the later chapters get better and better so if you liked the first one you should be in for some fun! :)

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Review #35, by cartoonheart94Hermione and the Hooligans: Vampires and Victories

2nd February 2012:
i love it. i like the new approach to hermione's character, it's fresh and entertaining. the michael jackson bit cracked me up, i want to read more!!!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reading, glad you enjoyed it!

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