Reading Reviews From Member: Gray Raven
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gray RavenSincerely, Hermione Granger: September 2nd, 1999

12th May 2012:
I want to know more too >.< Flip the page Rose! :D

I like the fact that even though this is a Dramione, it still retain the canon pairing of Hermione and Ron. I think that makes the story more appealing to non Dramione shipper such as myself. And I like the way the story was told through a diary. I think it will give different touch to the story.

Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Hi Gray_Raven,

I wrote the second chapter, but it was rejected because diary entries can't be more than 1/3 of a paragraph long. That was pretty much the basis of my story, so I'm abandoning it. I'm really sorry :( BUT, I am writing a kind of revised version without the diary entries, and a special twist in the plot-line ;) once again, I'm really sorry about not having a second chapter, but I hope you'll read my revised version once it is up (which will hopefully be soon!) :)

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Review #2, by Gray RavenNext Midnight: Weasley-Malfoy

11th May 2012:
Gasp. This is the end?? O... I was on the verge of tears but then I read your Author's note saying that there will be another Rose Bounty Hunter story! Yay!! My tears were saved :D
I love love love this series...

But anyways, This is a such a sweet and happy ending.. ow and Egyptian name, eh? ;)

Cheers to the happy couple and to you!!

Author's Response: Yes, this is the end, but I have the new story coming next week, which I am very excited about.

An Egyptian name! They always like to do things differently ;)

Thank you very much for reviewing!

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Review #3, by Gray RavenS.S. Memoirs: Parselmouth: Chapter 3

10th May 2012:
I'm so happy to find out that a new chapter of this story has been up. This is such a good story. The way you describe the whole scene really made my heart beat faster as I read through... it's intense and heart wrenching at the same time ... He lost all his family member in this unfortunate event :'(

I used to imagine that he is a noble pureblood family and that his demeanor and coldness and hatred towards muggles are affected by his upbringing. Your approach is different, but I really like it. What he experienced in this chapter will surely affect the way he sees muggles. I can't wait to read more about his thoughts and journey from here on... I think this is gonna be a very epic story :D

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Review #4, by Gray RavenA Weirder Shade of Midnight: Leaping Lethifolds

24th April 2012:
O my! I can't believe it! I was just reading it and then... it ended already... I really really like this story. It has that quality that kept me reading and reading. I think the villain is less darker than in the previous one, but it's still great. I might actually like this one better.
Reading the beginning of this sequel was really like watching the 2nd season of a film series: with all the introduction that reminded us of our beloved hero/heroine. It's a really good intro.
I really like the fact that Rose is this poor, somehow clumsy, bounty hunter.
I love this series, love all the characters, and I'm so happy for Scorpius finally getting his big break. He so deserves it!
Great work ;)

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad I could get you hooked on the story! ;) I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it. I do think Ambrosia is less dark, but still a very bad person of course.

Introducing a sequel without going overboard on the "previously on..." bits is sort of a tricky balancing act - there's a tendency as the author to assume everyone already knows, so you don't remember to explain something as much, or you go too far with explaining it all again. Anyway, hopefully that worked well, thank you for the compliment :)

It's good for Scorpius to finally get some recognition for his art. Maybe he should've tried portraits instead of landscapes a while back haha. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #5, by Gray RavenJust Another Midnight Run: Chuck Finley?

22nd April 2012:
Whoa. what a great story!

There's romance, there's actions, there's humor, and they're all well balanced. It kept my interest from the first chapter until the last. I love all the characters... and I personally love Johnny Lupin the most!! Isn't he the most adorable kid in the whole world?
And all the interactions between characters are really well done... and you described all situations really well, and they all seems very believable (my personal favourite is when Johnny Lupin threw a tantrum because he doesn't want to eat stew. It was just like real life. really! How can you describe it so well? :D).

This story is simply wow.. just wow... It's very enjoyable and I could learn so much from it. And I'm so happy there's sequel for this!
I'm very sure that I'll end up reading all of your work... cause you're very good! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This novel was my first time writing mystery, and it was a lot of fun actually. I always love some romance, but it took backseat in this story to the action. I can't resist humor, so there's always humor in my writing. Someone's got to crack a joke! Anyway, I tried to balance out the plot elements so I'm glad it seemed to work :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and the characters. Particularly Johnny Lupin! He's a hoot. His tantrums are just legendary. I'm so glad my kids never did that haha.

Thank you very much for the review! I hope you like the sequel as well!

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Review #6, by Gray RavenNext Midnight: Maternal

21st April 2012:
What a wonderful romance/family drama story. It's funny to see Rose as this awkward and nervous mother to be. I think woman in general has at some point experience that feeling. And I'm glad she has her family (Victoire) to talk to.
I love the relationship and interaction between all the weasley-potter-lupin family members. They're such a big happy family with their own goodness and flaws. It reminded me so much of my family :')
I love Scorpius and I love Johny Lupin :D
Can't wait to see how the Malfoys are taking the news.

Author's Response: It's pretty scary to be pregnant the first time, you just don't know what to expect. I was TERRIFIED the entire first trimester, basically, worrying about giving birth. Good thing Rose has a cousin to rely on, it's easier than talking to your parents' generation somehow.

I really enjoy writing the family interactions. I loved that aspect of Unsinkable, whenever I got to throw Molly in with the Weasleys. Such fun. It's even more fun with the large group of first cousins in the Weasley-Potter Next Gen.

Oh Johnny Lupin, he's such a trip. Gotta love him.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #7, by Gray RavenMeet the Muggles: Chapter Three: Don't Tell Mum

21st April 2012:
Mm... I think this chapter is starting to get me a little bit confused. When I read the first chapter, I didn't get the feeling that Cassie has a problem with her family. I thought her only problem was that she hasn't told them about the Muggle thing. So I felt that this chapter jumps a little bit too much. I've read other reviews on the previous chapter about the need of some background infos about Cassie... and while I think the info you gave on the previous chapters are good enough for me, I think now I see why a knowledge of that missing info is needed. I am now wondering how long has Cassie left the magical world, her reason for doing that (because I haven't see any strong reason/indication why she needs to do that). But maybe you have a reason to write it this way.

And, I find the idea of dark wizard using plane a little bit odd. It just doesn't sound like them :D

Anyway, I still enjoy reading it, but to start unveiling her backstory more thoroughly in the next chapter(s) might help ease the confusion away.

Author's Response: First, I just want to say I REALLY appreciate you R&R-ing all three chapters for review tag. You are amazing :D

Second, I see what you're saying about being confused. I'll definitely clear that up in the next chapter, so it's not so befuddling. Sorry about that. Thank you for pointing that out!

Yeah, I know it would be totes insane if Voldemort jumped on a plane, but that'll also be something revealed later.

I'm so happy that you're still enjoying it :) I'll definitely reveal more about Cassie pronto! Thanks SO much for R&R-ing! :D

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Review #8, by Gray RavenMeet the Muggles: Chapter Two: Slipping from my Fingers

21st April 2012:
It's so fun to see the Wizarding world from the POV of a Witch in a muggle world! And it's LUNA! Her appearance was brief but i love it!

One thing that's a bit confusing though, is when Albus made an appearance again, and Logan asked Cassie why he had bird with him... and she answered that he went to some boarding school far away which studied birds... I'm confused as to why Logan didn't inquire further or get confused because on the previous chapter, Albus introduced himself as Cassie's school friends... (Ow, I hope I explain ok)

Anyway.. on to the next chapter. Wondering about what would happen :D

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you're enjoying it so far!

Writing about the Wizarding World in this perspective is actually really interesting, and it's fun :) I'm so glad you liked Luna's appearance! (I was writing this scene, and I was like, "Oh yeah, Luna's GOT to be here." :D)

Oh, you are right about the school thing! You explained that perfectly, no worries, haha. Gah, I totally forgot they mentioned they went to school together... I'll go fix that - thank you!

Thanks for R&R-ing!

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Review #9, by Gray RavenMeet the Muggles: Chapter One: Lies Upon Lies Upon Lies

21st April 2012:

So far so good. I think the first chapter of a story is very important because it helps determine whether a reader would want to continue reading it or not, and this one is for sure a good one! I like the air of this story. It's light and funny and very easy to follow.
The interaction between Cassie, Al and Logan are funny... also the one with the overly friendly cab driver :D
It's a promising start and I'm going to read the rest :D
Until then...

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D It makes me so happy that you read and reviewed the 3 chapters I have up so far.

I'm glad you like this chapter and the "air" of it, haha :) Their interactions were great to write. I couldn't help but smile the entire time ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #10, by Gray RavenThe Adventures of Mary Sue Slytherin: The Adventures of Mary Sue Slytherin

18th April 2012:
Haha... I laughed all through the story! Oh, this is just amazingly hilarious! Hats off to you :D

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, glad you liked it!

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Review #11, by Gray RavenThe Other Boy Who Lived: Less Talking, More Walking

18th April 2012:
What an interesting AU! I usually avoid AU, but everything about this story (starting from the title, the banner, and of course the story itself) is drawing me in, and I'm really glad that I give this one a chance. Mm... what to say... There are so many things that I want to comment on (don't worry, it will be good comments)...
First off, (I think some people have mentioned it before), I really like that fact that Harry isn't part of the golden trio. It will give the story a whole new perspective. And I'm so glad you didn't go in the direction where everything went almost exactly the same like in the book but only with different heroes.
Then, Harry/Hermione. I think it will work out really well. I've read a couple of Harry/Hermione story, but so far I haven't found a satisfactory one. Though I like the idea, they are usually poorly executed. Seeing yours, I think you could pull it off just fine.
I really like Harry's characterization actually. I was expecting him to be quite a different Harry, considering this is an AU, but I feel like I'm reading the Harry I know.
Well I could go on and on.. but just to make it quick, I think you put a lot of interesting and intriguing points in this story that made readers wonder and of course wanting to know more.
So, keep it up!

Author's Response: Hopefully I can convince you of a good Harry/Hermione story with this one!

And I didn't want Harry to be part of the trio either. I went to great lengths to create this whole new world that's still slightly familiar. I kind of did that for everyone so while this is definitely AU, you'll still be able to recognize the characters.

I hope you keep on reading as I enjoy your reviews very much!

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Review #12, by Gray RavenMissingNo: MissingNo

18th April 2012:
OMG! Pokemon!! That was totally unexpected! I chortled when I read the word Pokemon being mentioned the first time. I really thought it would be something else! :D :D
You've written a very good and entertaining story here. It was hilarious to see a Slytherin with a severe pokemon fever :D :D And I really like how you describe his addiction. Being a pokemon mania myself, I noticed that you inserted quite a few pokemon-ized jokes/sarcasms: like rare candy for magikarp :D:D I think they were all hilarious and well placed.
And... I know it's not a suspense genre, but when Malfoy almost found out what Adrian was doing in his bed.. I think that was quite intense and thrilling. I was filled with anticipation: Oww. would he find out? would he not?... it was well done.
I also kinda like the ending you gave for Adrian. His nerdy-ness led him into being a hero... and to a successful life.
There are a few typos and missing words, so you might want to do a re-check. But there were very few of them.
Overall I really really like this story. I hope you do well in the competition :D

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

I'm glad you liked all the Pokemon references. I haven't really kept up with it, but it took up a lot of my time back in the day so I threw in whatever reference I could. The rare candy one was a favorite of mines.

It was mostly written as humor, but as I wrote it, it started veering off into this Pucey hero fic, so I just went with it. Thanks for the heads up on the typos and misspells! Went back and edited them right away.

And thanks!

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Review #13, by Gray RavenThe Grapevine: Lily

30th March 2012:
I like this story!

It's a light family drama. just the kind of story I enjoy very much.., and you're doing a very good job with it. I like your portrayal of the characters, and the plot is quite simple, yet interesting :D

I can't wait to read more

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Review #14, by Gray RavenRemarkable: Remarkable

28th March 2012:
- Hufflepuff review tag -

Nice story :D

I could hear Luna's voice in my head as I read... meaning that I think you did a good job on her character. I really like Luna but hasn't had the courage to write something with her in it (because I'm afraid that I would butcher her)... but this one is good. I can fell Luna's light and easygoing aura... It's just like her.

Luna and Dean... I've never considered that before, but it does sounds plausible, given the time they spent together in the Malfoy Manor, Shell Cottage, and afterward. I like how the relationships started from 'just another boy in the hallway'. :D

And thank you for reminding me that Dean is a great artist!

The flow's good and it's well written.

I enjoy reading it very much :D


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you SO much for this! Ohmygoodness I'm so glad you decided to review this story, since I haven't gotten too much feedback on it. This is so exciting!!

Sorry...I'm calm now, promise ;)

I'm so glad you like Luna! I was kind of afraid to write her too...she is definitely a challenge :) But it's really good to hear that my Luna has the carefree voice I was going for.

Luna/Dean is one of my favorite pairings ever...I just love the thought of them together. I'm glad it seems believable for you here :)

Thank you so much for the awesome review! You just made my day! :D


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Review #15, by Gray RavenLying Josephine: Promises, Promises

23rd March 2012:
O my God. I can't seem to stop saying O my God because this story is so breathtakingly beautiful. I don't think I've ever been so impressed up to this level before.

Everything is so well written. The story flows very smoothly. It's so rich of emotions. The OC character is much defined and came out very strong as a character, and I can't wait to read more about her.

Simply Wonderful!

Gray Raven,

Author's Response: Oh wow... This is such an incredible review, I'm truly blown away! *blushes forever* Seriously, you must not read enough if you think that of my writing! hehehe I'm so, so flattered! Wow...

I'm so thrilled that the writing and the flow and emotions all worked together to make this an enjoyable read! And I'm beyond happy that you like my OC! I've spent a lot of time fleshing her out, so I really appreciate that she's come across as intended! I hope to have a third chapter soon and I hope to see you there!

Thank you again! You're simply wonderful! ^.^

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Review #16, by Gray RavenUnlimited Devotion.: Devotion Holds no Bounds

23rd March 2012:
I love Dobby, and I'm so happy to find this story about him. I really love how you described the busy life of house elf in Hogwarts. It's so cute to imagine little elves sleeping :D :D :D Then it went to the busy time at the kitchen which is wonderfully written. I can hear the clattering of plates, forks, knives, etc and the roaring fire as I read along. I can also smell the savory delicious smell of the warm porridge, and the rich and crispy delicious smell of the eggs and bacon... (o boy, my mouth is watery now).
Then, I also like how you shows Dobby's way of watching over Harry through simple things like covering Harry with blanket. It's simple but came out really strong and really shows that Dobby will always be there for Harry.

For the second half of the story, I have to say that it didn't came out as strong as the first half. I think you could add a little bit more emotion in there. Like in the malfoy mannor, maybe you could add something that can make the reader feel more about how dobby's feeling at that moment... his worries/confusion/anxiety...
and at the ending, I was actually hoping that you would write what Dobby experienced during the last few minutes of his life. It was a really emotional scene in the original J.K. Rowling version; but it wasn't from Dobby's point of view. So I think it would be really intersting if you added what he felt and thought during that last moment of his. Given your writing ability, I think you could pulled it off really well.

All in all, I really enjoy reading this story.
Cheers for Dobby!

Gray Raven,

Author's Response: Firstly, thank you Gray Raven for reading and leaving a few comments.
I was overjoyed that you enjoyed this story, when people leave wonderful words like you've left makes writing very rewarding and satisfying.
I can see where your coming from where the final moments for Dobby is concerned, I could put more emotion in there, I'll work on that.
Thanks again for your encouraging review.


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Review #17, by Gray RavenOn the Edge of an Ocean: Don't be Sad

22nd March 2012:
Hey... I've been wanting to read your work for sometime and now I'm finally able to...

Wow. this story is beautifully written. I'm not sure where I should begin my review but let me just start by saying that this story is that kind of story where you (well, me) need your full attention. Because if not, you'll just get lost. That is mainly because you did not reveal everything until the very end. And you had to use 'she' when referring to Lucy. It's just sometimes I was confused whether the 'she' referred to the girl she mentioned at the early part (which at the end turn out to be Lucy) or her mother. The example for this is the paragraph after Molly's mom asked her if she was okay. You begin the sentence with "She probably thought this whole thing was a laugh and would probably come to my flat tonight..." I still thought it refers to her mother but that doesn't make too much sense because why would she think the whole thing was a laugh when she clearly didn't show it on the previous paragraphs. Then of course I know I was mistaking her to that girl (Lucy).

A tiny mistake I spotted: "Lucy couldnít be gone; her light was just too bright and I could[=b] still her [b]reflection in my eyes". I think you're missing a "see", no?

I gotta say, I have no clue what or where this scene is happening until almost the end of the chapter. Everything was tied together after she said "The three of us. Such an incomplete number." I know by that time that it was a funeral, and it's her sister's funeral... So, I re-read the story again and everything made more sense. I could really see how Molly felt like dreaming. I've lost a loved one before and It sure does felt like that. I think you captured the emotion well.

And despite the confusion one might find when reading this story, you wrapped it up very nicely at the end. And as for me, I felt very fulfilled... it's like reading a mystery novel where you tried to tied everything together and figure out the most important clue and the reasons behind everything. And when you finally got it you're like "man!" and light bulb seemed to really be popping out inside our head. Very nice indeed...

I realize this is not a one shot (though this would also qualified as a very good one shot), so I would be looking forward to reading more of this.

Gray Raven,

Author's Response: Hi,

thank you so much for your review!! I'm shocked that you've wanted to read my work, if you want to call it that, for a while. But i'm glad you chose this one. It's a new project and it's near and dear to my heart.

yeah, this is definitely a confusing start because we're looking through Molly's eyes and she is doesn't really understand what's going on either. None of it makes sense to her so i'm glad that feeling really portrayed well.

I've had another review saying they were confused whether that she was her mum and I'll look over that to make sure it's clear because i don't think i want that to be confused.

yes, i meant see, *blushes* thanks for pointing that out.

Losing a loved one is hard and i really wanted to capture the feelings that might be felt in those moments. I've lost people as well and I just tried delving into those really raw emotions. I'm glad you felt they were spot on because i wasn't sure if it would translate over screen. Thank you so much for your thoughts and words!

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Review #18, by Gray Raven 'Safe and Sound' : They're safe and sound

9th February 2012:
The song plus the first scene you wrote equals to AWESOME EMOTION... it's beautiful in a tragic kind of way (if you get what I mean)... and once again I'm regretting the death of Fred (sob :'( )...
I spotted one typo : "The take pity until it no longer suits them.. "
I think you meant "They take pity..." ?

And what else. Mm.. I'm not so sure about the ending though... I get the message that each individual are important, but since I feel the focus of this story is about the importance of the dead, the last part of the closing paragraph which change the focus to George telling his kids they are important just seems a little bit out of place...

but other than that, good job :D

Author's Response: Sorry about responding so late, i seemed to think that i had already done it. THANK YOU! sorry about the typo and i totally agree about the ending. As soon as i posted it i was like oh my gosh what was i thinking! Oh well, i guess we all make mistakes. thank you so much! xox

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Review #19, by Gray RavenAlways: Always

30th January 2012:
I've always thought Snape's love to Lily Potter as one of the most beautiful (and the saddest) aspect in the Harry Potter series. You've captured it perfectly and it was so in character. Thanks for the wonderful story.

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Review #20, by Gray RavenI Love You: I Love You

30th January 2012:
It's simple and beautiful. I love it very much. Good job.

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