Reading Reviews From Member: ScorpiusRose17
686 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ScorpiusRose17Your Guardian Angel: Your Guardian Angel

6th March 2016:

So I am here to give you a Review-a-thon review! :)

This was great! Personally, I haven't read the other two stories that proceed this one, but now I am really excited to go back and see what happens!

I really like stories like this where you can take what really happens and throw it out the window and invent something new and refreshing! You stayed true to their characters, but everything else is just so warmly yours.

I loved the wedding. I loved the way you described it and the way that her friends were his friends and vice versa. I loved that her mother was her matron of honor! I know some people would find it weird, but I think taking into consideration that Hermione was close to her parents before and after the war, it is nice to see their relationship here after they had been in Australia.

I really like the ending with the baby announcement. It seems like the other two stories will really delve into what happened before. But I like knowing where the story will lead to.

This was a fabulous One-shot and I look forward to reading more of your work! :)

Have a great day!!


Author's Response: Oh that is so sweet, thank you so much! I am glad that you enjoyed it. I wrote them so that they could be enjoyed all together, or even separately. I think the story is much stronger when all three are read, but I am glad that you liked where the story went. Thanks so much :)

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Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17FEAR...: FEAR...

6th March 2016:

I am here to review this lovely One-shot for you! :)

I was really intrigued by the way that this started. I love the way that you introduce Schuyler and I love her name! It's not common in stories that I read and it was nice to see an American at a British school! :)

I really enjoyed how you picked a commonly known moment in Wizard Education to show us a little more about Schuyler. Our fears are all unique and different. No one is exactly the same and I was exceedingly happy that she didn't fall into a "common fear".

I thought you did a great job of really combining Roosevelt's Quote to this. And I liked how she explained a little bit about him to the other third years. It's clever to match his famous quote to dealing with a boggart or having it change into a quote rather than a creature or object.

I also really like her eagerness to try and that she has a difficult time being American among the her British classmates. It's hard to fit in and I think that is something that everyone would be able to relate to.

Keep up the good work! :)


***For The Review-a-thon***

Author's Response: I am so glad you like it! I was a little worried about how people would review it, but it's all good now!

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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17The Hogwarts Times: The Hogwarts Times

6th March 2016:
Hi there!

I am here with a review for you! :)

I liked how you captured the way that these girls are sort of the gossip queens of their time. I like how you tied together Rita and Dolores. It was a clever move. And the ending where Dolores is plotting against Dumbledore is awesome! You took a lost moment and brought it to life very well!

I look forward to reading more of your stories!

Keep up the good work! :)


*Review a thon review!*

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17Keeping Appearances: Calculated Risk

3rd March 2016:
Hi Kaitlin!

I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing the stories entered for my challenge! :)

I really liked this and as always I love your detail. Sometimes it's thick sometimes it's subtle, but as always I can picture everything you describe so well! :)

Ah Bellatrix... what a character to get and a trait to have to portray! She is simply one of the more demonic characters J. K Rowling came up with and I think you did a great job at sort of delving into her crazy mind and showing how superficial she can actually be, but in a way that is positive for her, bad for others.

It was quite a no holds bar at the end with the way that she doesn't even skip a beat with saying that she'll kill him.

Good Luck in the challenge and as always, thank you so much for participating in it!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

No worries. RL comes first.

Good. Description is always my favorite part.

I'm glad that you felt that it worked out. I honestly had a hard time figuring out how to portray Bellatrix as superficial. To me, it isn't something that jumps out about her right away.

I definitely think she wouldn't marry anyone that they couldn't control.

Thanks for the lovely challenge and the review!


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Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17The Murder Of Innocence: Chapter 1

3rd March 2016:
Hi! So I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing all of the wonderful Challenge entries I have received! :)

I really like Emma and how her gullable attitude really shines through in such a positive way. She knows him. She knows that he wouldn't do what he was accused of, but rightfully so, she is hesitant to believe him.

You did a great job with this and I adored the Sirius you created for your readers to read. I haven't read a story that reflects on what Sirius possibly did while or after he left Hogwarts that fateful night so this was a pleasant change of pace.

Good luck in the challenge and thank you so very much for your participation in it! :)


Author's Response: Hi Jenn! :)
I am glad you the liked the story, I was so excited when this idea striked me, I mean Sirius Black is one of my favourite characters in the series, and it's great that you liked his character.

Writing Emma was fun, given that she is quite unlike me.

The whole thing about "What did Sirius do after escaping from Hogwarts?" Always bugged me after I had finished the reading the third book, so I decided to write it for this challenge.
Thanks for reading and reviewing the story!


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Review #6, by ScorpiusRose17Family: Family

3rd March 2016:
Hi! I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing the stories entered in the challenge that I hosted! :)

I really like this. I think you have a really great grasp with Sirius and the way that he thinks, acts, feels and reacts. You did a great job of taking the prompt of impulsive and making it work well as a positive.

I will admit that I felt bad for Sirius. To picture him sitting at that table hopeful for acceptance and for his family to love him like they once had done... so so so sad. I felt terrible, but the reality is equally as painful because I could see this happening. I could see them giving him an ultimatum. We'll love you again if. Love should never have strings attached like this and I think you portrayed that so well in this.

Great job and good luck in the challenge! Thank you for your participation!!! :)


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Review #7, by ScorpiusRose17Chasing Dragons : But Guys, Dragons

3rd March 2016:
Hi! So I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing the lovely entries for the Twisted Zodiac Challenge!!

I really enjoyed this snapshot of Charlie Weasley's life! I don't read enough of Charlie to be honest, but I loved the way that you portrayed his love of Dragons and Quidditch. He was quite... honestly tactless when dealing with the Quidditch Recruits and I found it sort of funny too.

I like that he knows what he wants to do and is so focused on that one thing. You did a great job of taking the negative and twisting it to a positive! :)

Thank you for your participation in the challenge and good luck! :)


Author's Response: Yay thank you so much!

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Review #8, by ScorpiusRose17Flaming Quilltips: Pensieve to Parchment

2nd March 2016:
I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing the entries for my challenge! :)

I really enjoyed this! I enjoyed the build up. Sure I knew what was going to happen in the end, but seeing it play out through the letters and diary entries was a wonderful way to portray the story and really give it depth!

The thing that I liked the most is how you interwove details that later play a major role. Cygnus Black's potion, Why Voldemort would get angry about someone poking around about information on that. It makes me think of Dumbledore in the cave and the unfortunate demise of a one Regulus Black. You even took the time to include Hepzibah Smith's House Elf... Well played. Well. Played!

I am glad to see that this challenge challenged you! I am grateful that you entered and for the entry! I liked the way that you interwove the negative trait and showed it as a positive. It really shines in the right spots!

Good Luck in the challenge!!!


Author's Response: Hello there Jenn!!

Eeps! Reviewing for the Challenge? *sits up straight and leans closer to the monitor*

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. Given the format I was writing, it was quite challenging for once because I couldn't really use big words or flowery descriptions or body language.

Ahh yes, that was the key to this story. We know that Dorcas was killed by Voldemort personally, but what I wanted to show was why, and by including Cygnus Black, I wanted to indirectly draw attention to Regulus... and I'm glad it did.

I'm so happy you found this a good read... and yes, incorporating the negative as a positive was the hardest part!

Thank you so much for your lovely review, and looking forward to the results!


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Review #9, by ScorpiusRose17Retribution: Capture

24th January 2016:
My goodness... I must say that while I am not surprised by Bellatrix, I am revolted by it as well. You characterized her so well to the point that I was glowering at my computer screen as I read along.

I would definitely say you hit the nail on the head with evil here. I know she's nuts, but then again I could totally see her doing this just to prove a point too and that in itself is terrifying. Your last line of the story gave me chills!

I like how you also included some balance in here with the crazy. McGonagall as Head Girl was perfect. And that you had Narcissa begging her to stop so they wouldn't get caught was perfect too. You show their characters in such a short amount of time, but you always capture them perfectly.

I look forward to seeing where you place in the challenge! :)


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

Bellatrix is my favorite evil villain to writ because her motives are so clear and simple. She's absolutely insane and she thrives on causing pain.

I'm glad that you think the characterization is on point.

I always try to make even my most minor characters seem relevant to the story.

Thanks for the lovely review and your support!


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Review #10, by ScorpiusRose17Truth, Dare or Drink!: Truth, Dare or Drink!

24th January 2016:
First of all... I love your stories! Every time I read them I am always left with a smile on my face from laughing.

This was great! I loved seeing this more adventurous side of Hermione without the stick in the mud Ron right next to her! It was a great change of pace!

Those Weasley Twins are something else! She should have known better introducing this game to them, but I am happy for her that she didn't walk away and that she was able to live. To me, Fred and George have always had two speeds. Fast or faster. They never slow down... not even when they talk. You did a superb job at showing their characterizations.

I am so glad that we did this review swap!!! I look forward to reading more of your stories!! :)

Thanks again!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn,

Why am I not surprised you picked a naughty tale? :p As you might guess, I much prefer Hermione without Ron. Pairing her with the twins was much more fun. Don't think for a minute that Hermione wasn't pleased with how that little game turned out. I always imagined that talking to Fred and George would be like watching a tennis match on fast forward. They are both too full of life and mischievous to boot, so the idea of them having discriminating products was just too good to pass up. Ron has nothing on those two. :p

Thanks for the review swap! I had a great time reading your tale, too!


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Review #11, by ScorpiusRose17Designated Mum Friend: 1.

24th January 2016:

I am here for our review swap!! :)

This was great! I was intrigued right from the beginning! I like Lyra, but I feel bad that she feels like she has to take care of everybody. I know what that is like in real life and it's a real challenge that doesn't allow you to fully have control of your life. You did a great job of showing that in just one chapter.

I laughed as I pictured people falling to the floor and hitting their head on the table when Lyra smacked those pans together! When she woke up the girls, it was reminiscent to how I feel waking my kids up in the morning for school. You really nailed the characterizations here! :)

Hahahahaha Rebekah! :) That was great! Almost completely embarrassed herself, but Lyra saved the day! Is this the same Warrington that Fred stuffed into the vanishing cabinet?

Felicity is right. I sure hope that Lyra is able to push herself away from the designated role and step into her own.

Thank you so much for the review swap! I really enjoyed reading this and I look forward to finding out what will happen as the story goes on! Please let me know when you have chapter 2 posted! :)


Author's Response: Hey, Jenn. Thanks for doing the swap!

I wouldn't feel too bad for Lyra, she kind of does it to herself. Her friends (well, most of them) are totally capable of taking care of themselves, but since Lyra does it for them, they kind of learned to rely on her.

Hehe, Al and Louis completely taking each other out wrote itself and I was laughing writing. It was a fun mental picture.

You know, I completely forgot that they shoved a guy named Warrington into that cabinet, but yeah, I guess this would be him based on the timeline haha.

Hopefully she is able to get herself together, but that may be harder than she thinks...

I'm glad you like it so much! It means a lot when people say the enjoy what I write. I'll definitely let you know when chapter two is up!


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Review #12, by ScorpiusRose17The Red-Haired Badger: Spells Don't Last Forever, You Know

20th January 2016:

I am here again with another review! :)

I really enjoyed this chapter as much as I did the first one! I thought you did a great job with the details. I like that Rose is a Hufflepuff and that she isn't Hermione's mini me. I think in helps give a better perspective to see her as her rather than in the shadows of her mother.

Oh Boy... I don't know what is going to happen when this clan gets together for Christmas, but I am seriously looking forward to all of the possibilities of chaos it could bring.

Ooo... a time turner!! AND she is letting Rose keep it. Oh Hermione... you shouldn't have said that last line to your daughter!!!

Great chapter! Please let me know when you have more posted!! :)


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Review #13, by ScorpiusRose17The Red-Haired Badger: Prologue

20th January 2016:

So I saw your post on the forums and I decided to stop by and give this a read. I am glad that I did. I really like this prologue and think you do a great job at catching the attention of the reader.

I did see one thing that I wanted to point out to you that is super minor.

Their names were Godric, Rowen, Salazar, and Helga.

- You just forgot the a at the end of Rowena.

I look forward to finding out what happens in the next chapter! Keep up the great work! :)


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Review #14, by ScorpiusRose17Livewire: Jolt

13th January 2016:
Hi Kaitlin!

I have no words. I do not know how you continuously amaze me with each story I read. This was only 740 words and I feel that the depth you created in that short amount of words was so real and so honest that I just cannot form the words to describe it.

As with your other stories, this one was just as smooth and flowed without hesitation. The descriptions were beautifully and tastefully done. You captured the moment between Dean and Seamus so well that I have goosebumps. I can honestly say that I am totally a Dean/Seamus Shipper now.

Keep up the superb writing! I cannot wait to read more of your stories!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

Yay! This is one of my absolute favorite stories!

I'm so thrilled. I wrote this on the bullet train from Hiroshima to Tokyo after spending the day walking around at the World Peace Museum and seeing the Atomic Dome. All of that war and destruction really moved me and this sort of came from that.

I'm thrilled that you consider yourself a Dean/Seamus shipper now since they are my babies.

Thank you so much for your kind words!


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Review #15, by ScorpiusRose17The Cure: Mint and Wormwood

13th January 2016:
Hi Kaitlin!!

I am here with another review for you!!

Wow this was creepy!

I really thought that this was a great One-shot and I liked getting to see how Fenrir became well... Fenrir. He isn't the type of person that can settle for being mocked or laughed at by others and you showed that progression well. I will say, I was totally rooting for him to find the cure, but alas it just wasn't meant to be.

Again, you did a fabulous job with the characters and the descriptions. Especially when he was in the hospital and the room he was in... reminded me a lot of what a room in an asylum would look like. Poor Dillys. :(

Keep up the superb writing!!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn,

Is it weird that I'm glad it was creepy?

I really enjoy exploring the idea of how evil villains became evil. I think there was definitely a prideful, chip on the shoulder, angry guy who is bitter with the world. I think the potion malfunction just sort of pushes him over the edge.

I always enjoy the description and it always makes me happy when someone points it out!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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Review #16, by ScorpiusRose17Broomstick Races: Bittersweet

12th January 2016:
Hi Kaitlin!

I am finally getting around to the reviews that I owe you and thought since I know you're having a busy time in Real Life that I would get these done! :)

Every time I read a story of yours, I am always left in awe of what I've just read. It's completely brilliant! The words always flow so smoothly, the descriptions aren't heavy but easily paint a wonderful picture in my mind as I read, and your characters even in one-shots are well developed.

This was such a sweet One-shot with Angelina and Ginny and I like how they bond over something so simple as flying. I thought the kiss they shared was sweet. You did a great job of portraying their friendship turned romance. I would have never guessed that this was your first time writing Femslash!!

Thank you for such a sweet story!!


Author's Response: Hey Jenn!

That's so nice of you! I'm so glad that you enjoy my writing. I'm always worried when I post something new that my idea might be too odd or too out there, so it's a relief that you don't see it that way.

Truthfully, I don't know if I can imagine Ginny and Angelina being a longterm thing. I really like Ginny/Harry and George/Angelina as pairings, so I think I see this sort of as a fleeting romance between the two.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #17, by ScorpiusRose17Areopagitica: Glavlit

31st December 2015:

I am finally here with your requested review! I apologize that it took me this long to get to.

I really thought this was an interesting chapter. You never really get the chance to see or hear too much about what is going on inside the castle when Harry, Ron and Hermione are out fighting/finding the bits of Voldemort's soul.

I also thought it was clever that you had a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin as best friends. Not something you see every day, but a refreshing change from the norm.

I am terrified for everyone with these two trying to lure them out. I even feel bad for Elbert. Sirius said it right... you want to see what a man is like... Crazy girls!

I did see only one spot that was a bit confusing or maybe it was just the wrong word...

“There’ll know it’s a trap.” - I think you meant they'll.

Other than that, great job! I really thought this was a nice change of pace from everything else that I normally read! :)

Happy New Year!


Author's Response: Hello Jenn!

I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to this review! School has taken over my life again!

Thank you for pointing out that typo, I'll fix is right away!

I'm really happy you liked this chapter. I know it's been a while since I updated, but I've been trying to work on the next chapter. So reviews really help me get into the mood for it.

I've always found the going ons at Hogwarts to be quite interesting. We only get short snippets of it in the books, but I bet there was loads going on there.

I'm happy you think Veronica and Tracey are interesting too. I didn't want to make every bad guy a Slytherin, and I've always thought that Ravenclaws and Slytherins would go well together.

Anyway, thanks again for dropping by!

Happy New Year!


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Review #18, by ScorpiusRose17Put a Ring on It!: Christmas Bells were Rung

19th December 2015:
Hi there!

I am finally here with your review!! :)

*Shakes head and repeats*

Sirius... Sirius... Sirius...

This was awesome! Leave it to Sirius to get in way over his head and allow a girl to talk him into something like this.

I love how he thinks at first that he is safe with the two Ravenclaws, but when they leave and James and Peter show up, that is the icing on the cake. Who is going to make you feel like the worlds biggest idiot... your best friends! :) I completely adored Remus and thought it was great how you took his wolf characteristics and made them a key part here. Sirius knew the gig was up.

This made me laugh and I enjoyed seeing Sirius actually question himself. BOYS!

Great job!!!


Author's Response: Hi Jenn!

I'm thrilled you enjoyed this little misadventure. Of all the Marauders, it seemed to me that Sirius would be the one to get into this particular type of mess. Writing him trying to explain what happened was quite fun! As for Remus, he's my second favorite character and I always figured that he might have enhanced senses as an unexpected benefit to his lycanthropy.

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a lovely review. I'm glad I could make you laugh. And yes, BOYS!


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Review #19, by ScorpiusRose17When Summer Fades: syzygy

19th December 2015:
Hi there!

I am finally here with your review for chapter 2!!

Let's first of all start off with your areas of concern...

I thought Regulus development was great. He's growing as a person and seeing things for what they truly are. He has also come to terms that maybe his brother isn't as awful as he once thought he was. Which is nice because we all know he isn't as awful as the Black family makes him out to be. And the fact that he is disgusted with what he has gotten himself into speaks volumes. I really want to point out too of how well he is doing communicating with Summer. It is exceedingly hard to talk to two people and try to wrap your head around what is going on, but he is brilliantly intuitive.

As for Summer... I didn't think this is what she was going to say!! How awful!! :( I don't see her as a plot device at all only because this is something that is real and happens to people unfortunately more than it really should or needs to. I like how she hides things from him about what is really going on that you find out from her mother. I think she does this because she wants to 1. spare him and 2. she wants him to remember her for who she is not what she has become because of her diagnosis. Cancer is no joke and it changes people in ways that will alter the way others see them. Regulus is sympathetic, but at the same time he holds tightly to his stone demeanor when she is around mostly because he sees Summer and NOT Summer with Cancer.

I think Summer is a great character. Is she involved in the plot... yes. Is she a plot device? Maybe, but not in a bad way. She is an evolving part of the plot, but a lot of the plot is him getting to the point where he can see what he is doing isn't what he wants. I would say that Summer is more like a nudge to the ribs... She gets him thinking, she gets him to open his eyes and see reality.

I think this is greatly interesting! It held my attention and I probably read this faster then I thought I would because I feel so involved and invested in this story.

When I began reading this chapter I stopped for a minute when Summer said she has Cancer. I needed a minute or so to let this sink in before I proceeded. As I said before I didn't think this is what she was going to say so I guess you could say it caught me off guard.

I really really liked the way that you wove in the fine details here. Especially about his reading list to occupy himself. Jasper is a strange character that protects him, but doesn't. I don't know if that is a Death Eater MO or not, but I thought it was great that he didn't want to fully get involved with it, but had to also put his two cents in.

This is a brilliant story and I cannot wait to find out how things unfold in the next chapter. I am sad about it since I know what will happen to at least Regulus, but I am also holding on to some concerns that he maybe getting himself into something that he really may regret here.

Keep up the superb writing!!! :)


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry on the mega delay in responding to this, I've been working basically every day through the holidays and have had no time.

I'm glad the change in Regulus is evident in this chapter. And yeah, I don't think Regulus ever saw Sirius as awful, but was sad he'd left, and saw it as a bad and stupid decision. And I like that you pointed out his efforts at communication - it's definitely huge steps from where he started, and after all she did for him, he really wants to be there for her. as I saw it, the previous chapter is where he learns what it means to have a good friend, and in this chapter he learns what it is to /be/ a good friend.

I knew that it had to be something entirely unrelated to the war and the conflicts Regulus was facing that he'd kind of centred his world around. Yeah, even her bright-side view of everything has its drawbacks there, where she leaves out some information - I love your analysis of her reasons, I'd say that's pretty spot on. I'm really glad you like her role in the story as well.

Thanks, that's wonderful to hear that you find the story interesting and that you feel invested in it - that's such a great thing to hear.

I'm glad you liked the way the details were woven in - I enjoyed slipping the horcrux info and other little canon things in there. And yeah, Jasper is an interesting one - he's kind of like Regulus was months ago. He cares about his friend, but he doesn't really understand him anymore as Regulus has changed.

Wow, thank you ♥ I really appreciate your kind words! And last but not least, thank you SO much for recommending this on your page, that was so unexpected and I'm so flattered. Thank you!!! And of course thanks for this amazing review. ♥

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Review #20, by ScorpiusRose17Rise of the Phoenix Volume I: The Gathering Storm

18th December 2015:
Hi there!

So I am finally getting around to reading and reviewing this for you! Sorry it has taken me so long the whole month of Nov. was pretty hectic.


I really liked this. It was...long, but I don't think I have ever read an opening chapter that was this full to the brim with detail and interesting happenings.

I like Aurora and Theo. I think that they compare and contrast really well and their personalities are great too. I think Aurora is a force to be reckoned with. She doesn't lack skill and her temper seems to help edge her along as the chapter goes on.

This gets very dramatic and I was terrified for Theo! I thought I had an idea of what was going to happen and you completely turned the table and I was stunned!

I look forward to seeing what happens as the story continues and I hope you'll stop by and re-request chapter 2! :)

Keep up the beautiful writing!!!


Author's Response: Hi there, sorry about the long delay in my reply, I have been snowed in with so many things outside of the Potterverse that I haven't been on the site for a while.

It is really wonderful to see that you bought into what I was writing so much.

And thank you for the positive comments, not just because it is a great confidence booster, but also because it lets me know which bits work and which don't.

The first chapter of writing in my limited experience, is like throwing paint at a wall. Some of it looks nice, some of it doesn't. So I am always really nervous about first chapters for that reason.

Of course, I will stop by, I like reading your work, and I will come and have a look at more of your chapters and many more on Pottermore over the next few days.

Thanks so much,


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Review #21, by ScorpiusRose17I was in Love: I was in Love

17th December 2015:

I am here with a review for you that I have owed you for far too long. I am so sorry that I epically failed at the November review thread. I cannot apologize enough and hope that you will forgive me being horrible...

I loved this story! It is so simple, but so sweet and so sad all at the same time! The happiness and pain that happens in relationships was well portrayed here. Sadly for both accounts, I could relate to the characters in more ways than one.

I also liked the way that you didn't really name a character. It made it quite haunting and tragically beautiful.


Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
And I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply.

I'm glad you liked the story and felt emotions from both sides.

I'm also happy you picked up on the no names, I did want to make it seem like it could be about anyone.

Thank you again!

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Review #22, by ScorpiusRose17When Summer Fades: equinox

10th December 2015:

I am so so so sorry that it has taken me this long to read and review this chapter for you. I was unfortunately sick and then real life went a bit crazy, but I am here now! :)

Oh I adore you! I was so excited to see a story about Regulus drop into my review thread and I must say that I was NOT disappointed by this!

I thought it was brilliant the way that you make it from his pov. I don't recall reading another Regulus story where he is in first person, so I thought that it was a great difference and change of pace.

The pacing is great. I don't feel that it is rushed anywhere throughout the entire chapter.

As for characterization... I really enjoy Summer. I think she is the Hufflepuff version of Luna in many different ways. She makes poor Regulus squirm with her forwardness and bluntness, but yet at the same time she is thoughtful and nice. Regulus was brilliant. I can see right off his torn soul. He doesn't know what to do, but he realizes that the choices he makes are important no matter what they go against. You really did a great job making sure that anyone who reads this story understands Regulus in a way that a lot of people only just scratch the surface with. I hope that makes sense.

I find this story to be very interesting. It isn't often that a haughty pureblood "Throws it all away" for a merry mudblood. I am worried about what she has to tell him and I am not comfortable with Jasper. Regulus will really need to search his heart as the story continues. I know how it ultimately ends for him, but I worry about Summer more at this point.

Keep up the brilliant work! :)


Author's Response: Hi Jenn - no worries at all on the delay! This was such amazing review and totally worth the wait. Hope you're feeling better now and that RL has calmed down! :)

I found while writing this that I really love Regulus as a character. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading about him, especially from his POV. And that's great to hear about the pacing and that it flows well.

Summer does have a lot of similarities to Luna, yeah. I really wanted her to be a foil to Regulus, in her confidence and honesty as Regulus is confused and secretive. Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you like the portrayal of Regulus here, and yes you did make perfect sense. This story really focuses on his struggle to do the right thing and it wasn't possible to write without getting well into his mindset. I'm so, so glad to hear you say it makes a reader understand Regulus to a deeper level - ah! Thank you!

Aww, thanks, that is so great to hear and I'm glad you find the story interesting! Regulus has a difficult soul-searching time ahead of him, for sure. I'm glad you can really feel for the characters - that means a lot to me.

Thanks for your review!! ♥

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Review #23, by ScorpiusRose17Once Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 1st Year - First Impressions, Undone

10th December 2015:

I am here again with another review for you!

You really are quite good at making dialogue and even the story move smoothly. I never stumbled once while reading and I am really fascinated by the fact of how natural the dialogue is.

I enjoyed the characterizations. They are strongly linked to the story of yours I read and reviewed previous to reading and reviewing this chapter. The one thing that I did notice and I am not sure how everything will play out was that Sirius seemed a bit tame towards his family. I don't know if that is because he is still a young Sirius here and nothing has really happened yet to really test his feelings towards his family. I hope that all makes sense.

I really think that you have a lot of wonderful character development going on here. There is a lot going on period and to have that many characters moving around throughout the chapter can be a tough thing to accomplish in keeping them all straight and unique. I look forward to seeing how they progress as individual characters and as a group as their relationships with one another unfold.

Keep up the good work! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review Jen.

Being non-british, I was worried about the flow of dialogues, since I wanted it to sound both natural as well as 11-year-old-compliant. I'm so glad that you find it natural.

yes the other story was supposed to be a spin off one shot on this story.

Yes, I understand your concern about Sirius. The way I see it, its not possible to vehemently hate your parents or your family at a young age, especially when you haven't been exposed to anything else. He probably doesn't like a few things about them, but it's after he goes to school, and sees the world that he forms his own opinions and starts hating them. That's my headcanon at least

Yes, the plethora of characters are proving to be quite challenging, especially in the later chapters as they're all growing up and have lives and personalities of their own. I hope I do justice to the story I have in my mind.

Thank you so much for stopping by again,


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Review #24, by ScorpiusRose17Recipe For Detention: It All Started With Puffskein Poo

10th December 2015:

I am finally here with your review! I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to getting around to reading and reviewing this. I got sick and well real life got in the way after that.

So let's start with your concerns: Flow of Dialogue. I thought you did a great job with the dialogue and in all reality it didn't even skip a beat. I did notice a couple of areas that were more of Lily's thoughts then anything else that slowed the flow of reading down, but other then that minor spot, the flow was great overall.

Canon-ness/characterization: is spot on for how I picture the Marauders, Lily and Snape. I thought you did a great job of portraying all of them even in just a line or two they were easy to picture. The climax between Snape, Lily and the Marauders is building here and you can tell it is just before James humiliates him and he utters that forever friendship changing word. Between Sirius and Lily, I would say that yes, I could see the depth of their friendship through the lightheartedness of the story line. Sometimes I wonder if it could have been Sirius and Lily instead of James and Lily.

Also, I must say that I appreciated very much how perceptive you made Sirius... One line defined that more than any other place in the entire story... “Don’t underestimate Wormtail,” said Sirius darkly. The foreshadowing here is so real.

Keep up the great work!!! :)


Author's Response: Hello Jenn,

Don't worry about that... I'm glad you're feeling better now.

I do have a problem with dialogues because English isn't my first language... I'm happy that you found it was fine. I'll keep your suggestions in mind when I'm writing other dialogues to ensure it doesn't slow it down.

Most people write Lily very Hermione-ish, and I was worried that she would boil down as OOC because of that. But honestly, this is exactly how I picture her. I just can't see a prankster like James with someone who disapproves of something that makes him who he is.

I always pictured Sirius and Lily as being friends independant of James, and that it was Sirius who nudged her towards James, but in his own way. Sirius and Lily could happen but in a parallel universe (of course, this is just me because Lily and James are my OTP)

Sirius being perceptive is one of my favorite headcanons of him. We can see him in the books as being cynical and reckless, but his thoughts and insights are almost always spot on. I always thought his experiences (with his family) made him slightly more perceptive to people than James (who would have been inclined to be self-involved and dense due to being adored and loved at home)

Haha! You caught the foreshadowing! Thank you so much for your review!


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Review #25, by ScorpiusRose17Nihil: Beginning

8th December 2015:

I first of all want to apologize for taking as long as I have to getting around to reading and reviewing this. I had been extremely sick, but am doing much much better now... Anyways...

I feel bad for Louis, but then again I don't. He seems like quite the stinker and I cannot wait to see how his character develops throughout especially now that he's a Slytherin... which isn't entirely a bad thing! ;)

I didn't see any grammar, typos or punctuation issues. I did find this believable... There is NO way the Weasley/Potter clan could have that many people and not one turn out to be different. I guess what I am trying to say is that he falls at the complete opposite end and it's great because you haven't molded him into something he's not.

Louis is rough. I think he means well to a point, feels constantly overshadowed, but at the same time knows how to think and speak his mind even if he doesn't fully understand the situation. It almost seems like there is a part of him missing, like a gene he didn't get. I like it.

I liked the overall characterization. I liked that Louis has broken a mold, but the way that you characterize everyone else is just as important. It allows you to give a comparison/contrast situation and I also liked Lisa. She reminds me a lot of how I would picture Scorpius in the sense that she isn't her parent(s).

The sentence construction is just fine since it is a first person POV it is going to seem a bit rough until you find your groove. It doesn't feel jumpy between thoughts and reality either.

Overall, I think you have a great start here and a lot to work with. I like that Louis isn't your normal Weasley and that he ends up in Slytherin not Gryffindor. Keep up the great work and I look forward to seeing how his life develops as the story continues!! :)


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