So I know how old this is, and that your writing has improved ten-fold, so I wont comment on that part. It just seemed like an interesting story. :)

~*~

GURL, Rose had some sass talking to Scorpius like that! She's a bit blind right now, but I'm already a fan of her. You stayed true to her the whole time, not changing her character halfway through, which is really hard, sometimes. Especially with a strong - willed person like Rose.

Your story is one that's been done a hundred thousand times (even hinted at in canon) and it's just a trap for many authors to fall into a cliched story, and yet you completely avoided all that, coming out with something fresh and new. (Plus I'm only majorly biased with this being one of my favourite pairings)

So I've gotta go. But I'll be back later with more reviews!

Liz

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Dramione, eh? This'll be the first I've read~!

*reads*

I loved it! The emotion it brought up was so intense. It felt like I was there with them. (Though given the nature of the scene, I'm not sure if that's a good thing. :p)

I noticed a few typos here and there, and while most of them were fine, a few disrupted the flow of it. Very minor things such as missed punctuation, that would make me do a double take. I'd suggest a beta reader?

It also seemed a tad rushed. Such as Ron was just like "Okay. Let's have sex now." and Hemione was like "Your fiance--oh. Okay." Then Ron just left.

The start was fantastic. Every feeling was portrayed so well, and Hermione's feelings towards Lav Lav were just so canon.

It was absolutely wonderful. It totally deserves twice the recognition it's getting now.

(So sorry this took so long. I blame the little blinkie light in Skype. It was begging me to reply.)

Great chappie,
Liz

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See now, I never know what to say when I get a story like yours. It's quite obviously well-written and I've not much criticism (and by that I mean none at all).

Instead I'll just rave about how fantastic this is.

The emotions just about killed me. "I was eighteen and now I was gone." The way you brought the whole blinking thing in was genius, it added so much; it felt so tragic.

Wow, this is a super unhelpful review, isn't it? *despair* It's not my fault I've nothing to say other than to squee..

Before I dig myself into a hole here I'll leave you.

I absolutely love LOVED it. One of the better stories I've read in a long time,
Liz

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Wow. Can you say intense?

The interesting mix of characters you've thrown in here is going to be rather fun to follow, I can tell. *favourites so she can read future updates*

I'm not entirely sure what to tell you, honestly. You're clearly not a new writer, and I've not any criticism, so unfortunately for both of us this review is going to be rather short, due to the fantasticness of this story.

But yeah..*feels bad for leaving such an unhelpful review for you*

I loved it to death,
Liz

Author's Response: I do not know how to respond to this review in an unjumbled (is that even a word?) way, so can we say we're even in terms of shortness?

Your comment about me not being a new writer made me laugh, because I just posted a blog about my upcoming first archive anniversary.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REVIEW. REALLY. THANK YOU!

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Overload of feels! Whoa!

The details in this story were wonderful. I could sympathize with him, big time. The lyrics you chose fit the story so well, not just in the story line of it, but the feeling in it. (Wow, that made no sense, lol).

I didn't see very many errors, and if there were any they were just minor issues - nada big.

The description in this story was simply brilliant. It wasn't enough to overpower me or leave me wanting, it was the right mix. I could just see him leaving, and feeling the odd combination of uncaring, wishing it could have been different and a bit of relief.

The bit about Reg? Wow. It just broke me, seeing that last little bit of family go down the drain.

It was a great job - especially fantastic for your first songfic (right?).

I loved it,
Liz

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So that was a phenomenal start.

Your writing brings me into the story right away, connecting me to an "average" girl. You took a plot line (or a piece of it, anyway) that has been done a thousand times the whole, "I'm so average, look at me," Bella Swan type, that could have been a complete flop, and yet your brought something new to it. It was far from a clichéd story.

I don't know if I said that right, it was hard to put to words what I meant, but pretty much I meant that you took a tough path to making this story stand out and you went with it, and it totally worked for you!

Description in this story was ace. I could see the whole story out in my head, and the whole time I felt sorry for your OC, thinking that it was too bad she thought she wasn't special.

However, you seem to have used a bit too much description at times, if at all possible. Looking at your other reviews I can tell that you've had this before, so i wont go into it, I just thought I'd point it out. :)

I cannot believe this is your first story; it's wonderful. Have you thought about getting a beta for it? With the right help it could be fabulous!

Great work, I loved it,
Liz!

Author's Response: I'm happy you liked it.
And I'm happy it's not the Bella-type ... cause I really don't like that look-at-me-the-weak-but-pretty-girl-and-save-me ...

I like my girls strong ^^ ready to save themselves, when times ready.
I know the first chapter is a little lot discriptive, but I dont really want to change that much, apart from adding a little more dialog maybe. I already have an idea, but I didnt get round to it yet.
Thanks again =)
Love,
T.

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Ooh, so I was scrolling through your Author Page looking for something to review and voila. I came across this. I've been following it for quite some time now, and was excited to review it. (I must admit, I'm bad at reviewing unless I've someone specifically telling me they want one, haha).

Everything about this drew me in. The summary made me want the chapter, the first few lines had me craving the rest, the everything made me want everything more.

The style you have of writing is unique. (Not just your use of second person.) There's just something about it that is different.

Your flow is fantastic, and your characters really come to life. You almost put me in the story along with all them. (Haha, ironic) Well, actually, you made me realise that Molly and I are exactly alike. Yenno, minus the whole Witch-y thing and all that jazz.

The prolouge totally makes me want to come back for more (which I totally have done and am caught up and LOVING IT)

Great story,
Liz

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OMIGOSHOMIGOSH. SHE KILLED HERSELF? WHAT NO.NO.NO.

*ahem* Spaz attack over.

So when I was looking through your author page looking for a story to review I realised you'd written this story and I knew I had to review it. I've been following it since it was pretty new, and loved every step of the way.

Your characters mature and age well, as if they were real. But even more than that *you* improve. Each chapter gets progressively better, from grammar to flow to everything.

Your plot could not have been better, *coughunlessyoumakeTorialiveagaincough* it's totally original. I've not seen anything like it, and I must say, it's wonderful.

The only thing I'd say is that you rush your chapters. Each chapter has enough events in it that you could stretch them out and expand on details and stuff to make them double the length. Instead of just saying, "I walked to the party where my boyfriend was." you could say something like, "I walked into the party and it was wonderful. There were golden streamers everywhere and I could tell that tonight..."

But aside from that it was superb! Looking forward to the last *gulp* chapter.

Please don't make it end,
Liz.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for review! It makes me so happy to hear that I've actually had a follower since near the beginning of the story - I still remember how excited I was when I got my first ever review.

Thanks again!
Courtney:)

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I loved this story!

Your detail was flawless and I really got an image in my head. I could plainly see every breath, every twitch, every idiosyncrasy of all your characters through out.

(You know how in drama you'll always told to remain in character? You've done that with your people. They stay the same through the entire chapter, instead of changing their whole personification halfway through, something I've noticed a lot of people have troubles with.)

BUT WHOA NOW. CLIFF HANGER? NO, SO NOT COOL. I mean, you had it all, the grammar, the flow, the characters everything. But then you went and killed it with a cliffie. There's totally nothing wrong with them, it just makes me sad to think I have to wait and get through my list to get to the next chapter.

Once again, fantastic story. You really brought each character to life, while adding that often-hard-to-find air of mystery.

I had a great time reading it,
Liz

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Wow. That's it. Wow.

I was a ball of tense-ness that whole chapter. It had me on edge. I loved the way you really brought out the fact that George couldn't tell the difference between him and his brother, it made everything more dramatic.

The whole thing with Lee just made me mad - for the twins, that is. I was internally screaming at him for not understanding Fred was dead and that he had the wrong twin. Percy's line just about killed me too. *love*

The opening line was just fantastic. Hook, line and sinker. You brought all the emotions that were missed from the book, and brought them to life here. It could've easily been a scene from JKR's book.

I noticed quite a few minor errors and such, but not too much. The only thing is that it interrupts the flow of the story, catching your eyes on that one bit of mistake.

But all in all I loved it! You went seamlessly from paragraph to paragraph, feel to feel. Liz to ball of sobbing emotion. ;)

Great work,
Liz!

Author's Response: Hello Liz!

Thanks for your wonderful review :D You've left me so many compliments..gah ♥ I'm so glad you thought the opening was good and grabbed your attention. I was really trying to capture George's voice as best as I could. I just had to include Lee in this chapter because I ♥ Lee :D Though he won't have too big a role in the story.

It's been quite awhile since I looked at this chapter. I know there's one instance of an awkward tense but I really didn't know there were other errors as none of the other reviewers mentioned it. So thanks for telling me! I'll read through this chapter again and edit :D

Thank you so much once again for your lovely review, Liz! And thanks for being generous enough to offer free reviews on the forums!

-teh

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Eeh, Helen! My name is in another chappie? You're amazing. I mean, seriously. I'd offer you cookies, but under the circumstances I think it's best I give you flowers, instead. ..wait. No. Scratch that. I'll just give you a hug.

..you know what? Never mind.

Anyway, I hated the chapter. It was all boaty. They *kissed*. I mean, ew. What is this? Apart from all the lovey dovey stuff, it was quite fantastic. I like (not love, because love is bad) Molly and Dexter (not Mexter because ships are bad).

Thank you so much for more of these two! You're incredible! You're a great female platonic friend (and I mean that one literally. ;) )

Liz

Author's Response: Aha, oh Liz. Your reviews will never fail to really make me laugh. Thank you for this! And of course your chapter is in the title!

Also, I feel like anything I offer you could be considered as me accidentally propositioning you. Um. Hows about you have... um. idk. Chocolate (I think I'm safe with that one).

EWWW. THEY KISSED THAT'S SO GROS WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT.

Ac

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Kieron, no! Don't beat up poor Al! We like him!

Wonderfully amazing chapter, Sam. I coulf feel the tension radiating out of my screen when she told them. Though I did feel a bit sorry for her mother, she was a bit harsh there.

I loved how the whole family is all, "Eh. Al's going to be killed. Who wants some pudding?" :p

Liz

Author's Response: We do, but... Kieron is Kieron. He has a temper and he hits first, asks questions later. He would be so awesome if he wasn't like that. But still, poor Al. *hugs*

She has her reasons, but her mum will be back and things will... change. :)

Thank you so much for reviewing!

Sam.

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OH NO, YOU TWO. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? As glad as I am that Theo didn't catch them it also would've been hilarious. Great chapter as usual.

Sam - ah. More cliff hangers.. Bad Sam. :c

Teeny review this chapter, sorry!

Liz

Author's Response: I kinda wanted Theo to catch them, would have been so funny, but he couldn't because of the next chapters. :)

Thank you so much for reviewing!

Sam.

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Male Dom is awesome, Sam! Just like you! :p

I somehow don't know if Alexa and Al can lead to anything..good. (Psh. Except that I do know.)

But I must say I really like the banter between the two of them, and the superly odd friendship they have with each other where they both like one another but don't at the sam time.

I just hope Al gets over Catrine soon. He's gotta be focused on Alexa!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY,

LOVE YA,
LIZ.

Author's Response: Male!Dom is so awesome, I'm glad you like them. Aww, thank you. :)

Their friendship is so odd and crazy and works, which is odd. :P

Thank you so much for reviewing!

Sam.

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Helen!
I'm back for more reviews!

What can I say? Fantastic as always. :)

Lily, you're such a drama queen! Well, what's new? I mean, of course she has a fair enough reason to be all moody. I'm madly shipping Jily by this point, though I'm also a huge fan of Sirius/Lily in your story too. Entirely platonic however, but I love when they have their heart to hearts.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, HELEN.

LOVE YA
LIZ

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OH MY GOD SAM. SO MANY FEELS! SO PROUD OF YOU FOR FINISHING THIS STORY, YOU'RE UTTERLY AMAZING.

But I will say, I was a bit distracted while reading the A/N and lines merged together in my brain and I read "Enchanted 2..blah blah Louis/Frankie" and I swear I had a heart attack.

Cannot wait for the sequel! Congrats for finishing,

Liz! *had a heart here but forgot it doesn't work*

Author's Response: AH! THANK YOU, I'M SO EXCITED!

Haha, it is a bit distracting, but fear not, Louis/Frankie is a completely different type of story. It's weird to write, I keep thinking that Louis is cheating. :P

Thank you for leaving a review. :)

Sam.

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Zomg. THE BAD GUY. I SEE NOW. Not a fan of Ellis, at all. At the same time, however, I want to know more about him. But he's still a meanie. :c

One chapter left? D: SO SAD.

Great chappie as always,
Liz.

Author's Response: You see! Ellis is very bad I'm this and two. You will definitely find out more about him. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review.

Sam.

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MEEP. Great chapter, once again! I'm here to put you over the line, once again, cuse you deserve it.

James/Autumn drama! Yay!

I loved everything about this chapter, but the cliff hanger? Really, Helen?
Short review, like really short, cuse I gotta be at work soon. (Actually, no, I was supposed to have left about ten minutes ago..)

Liz

Author's Response: YOU ARE WONDERFUL AS ALWAYS! Thank you, Liz, for making me the 9th most reviewed author on this website (!)

Sorry about the cliff hanger again. Apparently I'm a bad person.

THANK YOU.

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WHOA. MY NAME. It's in the AN. That's exciting.

Plus it's totally unnecessary. I mean, it wasn't really a hardship to get an advanced copy. ;)

Um, I pretty much just stopped by to say that, but while I'm here might as well tell you that you're amazing. I'm so proud of you for finishing it~!

Liz

Author's Response: YES IT IS.

Ahha, well it was a litle bit necessary and thank you very much for being glorious and supportive! You're aces :D

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WIST. WIST. WIST. WIST. WIST. WIST.

I forbid you to say you can't write. Because that is a blatant lie. If you say it again I'll link you back here. ;)

UM. SO. This was superley duperley good. And I really liked it. And it was fantastic. And I'm running out of adjectives. But it's awesome. And amazing. And wonderful. And stupendous.

Details?
Well. You only killed like one and a half unicorns. ;D I'm proud of you! :p
And the emotion. THE FEELS. THEY BURN IN A TOTALLY GOOD WAY.

AND MY REVIEW ISN'T MAKING TOO MUCH SENSE. IT'S A LOAD OF NONSENSICAL STUFF WITH RANDOM THINGS HERE AND THERE. Caps rage.

But I'll review the next chappie of wonderful-ness after foodies.

Love it,
Lizzeh.

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HEY SAM. So I promised to actually write this review as I would if you were a stranger. I mean, the reviews I've been writing you have been really lazy and I write them in less than five minutes, and I usually just skim the chappie to see what the top four points are and then do loads of nonsensical keyboard-slamming. I figure you take enough time to write these, I should probably write a proper review. :p

SO:

Everything about your story draws me in, from the dry humour of Alexa to Albus' and his over-cautiousness. Not only are your characters unique and all that jazz, but the actual story is something else. You've taken what is, I admit, a pretty common, basic theme: teen pregnancy, and you've turned it into something all-new and grabbing.

Albus bringing out the pregnancy test just made me think "ALBUS. GIVE IT A REST." But then, knowing what I know, secretly thank him. Though the feeling of wanting to hit him returns when he jokes about him being a good parent. Oh, Albus. If Sam didn't portray you as adorably cute..well..I'd find you awfully annoying. But she did, so I don't.

I'm really starting to like Alexa's dad too. Totally reminds me of my best friends Mum. :p

So the long and short of this stupidly short review that actually made sense (well..sort of) and didn't have random thoughts here and there with little fan-girl-esque shrieks is that it's a fantastic story, and you deserve every single one of the (NOW) seventy reviews on it. Keep writing, and I'll keep reviewing.

Liz.

(eehh, not bad, eh? It had paragraphs! And sentences! Holy beep!)

Liz

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OH MY GOD.

They..they just...did they...eh *gimpy face*

THEY DID. Finally! It only took 13 chapters! Well.. technically it happened before..

Not a clue what I was thinking about.

NO DAMMIT. Skype got me distracted! SORRRY. I FORGOT I WAS WRITING YOU A REVIEW. *is a bad person*

BUT THE BABY. SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS WITH THAT? A baby? ..but..but..no.

After that little ..erm..hissy I'll say bye now.

Liz

Author's Response: Did they? THEY DID!

Haha. Yeah, my characters are really slow, it takes them so long just to do one thing. But at least it took them less chapters than Louis and Ciaran. ;)

Yeah, what has Xavier been up to? :P

Thank you for leaving a review.

Sam.

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NEW HOUSE!
Go Alexa and her puppy eyes!

"It's the second time today I've said 'yay'. Pregnancy can really mess a girl up."
OI. I resent you implying that saying "yay" is a bad thing. :c

ALEXA. JUST EFFING DO HIM AGAIN.
..oh wait.

Poor Alexa. You don't need other guys to date, you have Al!

Yeah. You can see what I ship. :p

EHMAGAWD. Chapter was very cute. I love how they can see themselves in each of the rooms!

LIZ.

1/3

Author's Response: Haha. Alexa can get anything off her dad. :P

Yay a bad thing? It wasn't me, it was Lexi, I swear. :P

Hahaha. I definitely see the ship.

Thank you so much for reviewing.

Sam.

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YAY. NEW CHAPTER! asdfghjk...
Okay, so in the typical Liz fashion..this review isn't going to be very coherent. It's not going to "flow" and all that. But whatever, I'm still sleepy.

"I think I've turned into moral support. I'm not sure how I feel about that."
Key, you are so cute. :3

Luka and Kyle? Even cuter. But mostly Kyle.

ScoRose? Well, Key is becoming quite the match maker, isn't he? Whether he likes it or not.

And he's leaning how to read? Yay for Key!

Um. That's about it.

Liz.

Author's Response: Awww. Yeah, Ciaran and Kyle - two of the cutest characters in the fic and the ones who try hardest not to. :P

Yeah, he can't help it. He tells them what they want to hear, so they'll leave him alone, but it never works. He's stuck. :D

Thank you for the review.

Sam.

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TWO?!?!?! See what I get for being afk?

it's sad. no more capital letters. all gone.

chapter three? even better than chapter two. but the next chapter is even better. and i know that cuse i travelled to the future when it wasn't posted.

yay for helen being awesome.

one out of two.

Author's Response: aha, Liz! These reviews are hilarious and lovely. Thank you for being so kind as to take time out of your day to indulge a spoilt authors wim.

THANK YOU :)

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