Reading Reviews From Member: Wistful
  
56 Reviews Found

Review #1, by WistfulThe Queen Is Giving In: Roses and Vanilla

23rd June 2014:
Hey, there! It's Wistful with your requested review. I have to admit, the summary and immediately drew me in, and I was enthralled by the character's voice. The summary gives sort of a frustrated teenager tone, and that's' continued in the story itself, so I love the continuality in that. From the very first line, and I mean the literal very first line, this story didnít fail to amuse me and keep me laughing. I can sense some more serious themes behind what's being said, but Dorcas treats this with the same almost flippant attitude as everything else and only hints at it. I canít wait to find out what the tension between Harley and Dorcas is hinting at as well as the history with Dorcas and Nick.


So, as I can't help with the consistency of you characterization besides telling you that Dorcas's voice was kept the same throughout the story, so I'll review what I can perceive so far. Usually how a character thinks and how they speak can differ, and this is demonstrated in Dorcas's character, but I can still see the similarities in the tone and dialogue, so she's definitely continued well. What I would like to see more of is Dorcas herself - she's a canon character (and I loved how you used those in your story) but from what little we know of her, she's practically an OC. It'd supplement her character to have more of a visual image of her - little things "I brushed away strands of red from my eyes" for a visual but also little quirks like biting lips, curling fingers in and then out as well the little actions she does. Your writing's a lot of her thoughts and the dialogue as well as including what they're doing but adding more of a visual would be fantastic.


Just another thing to keep in mind - while I'm familiar with a lot of these characters, they came in too fast for a proper glimpse at what makes them them. Since you took time to describe Alice and Lily well enough for us to kind of not only get their characters but how Dorcas sees them, the others are introduced in rather quickly without really much differentiation. Besides the slight differences in the dialogue, the Marauders feel like a literal collective quantity rather than four quite different people. But I definitely loved it! I hope this helps, but if you have any questions feel free to ask!


- Wisty

Author's Response: thank you so much! I do struggle with differentiating between the marauders sometimes, and I think I have to work on that as I grow as a writer. Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #2, by WistfulDreamscape: darkmark.

18th July 2013:
I've stop being shocked about how you always manage to shock me.

That was a lie.
I'm still very shocked about how you always manage to shock me.

I really don't know what to say about this. I'm sure you've heard it all. My reaction to this was pressing my eyes to the computer screen and blatantly gaping. My second reaction was to clap (no, really, I literally clapped) and make some sort of incoherent sqeualing sound. My third reaction was to register that there is a review that must be written. Which is this. A review. I just want to squee everything. Can I squee everything? Ee.

Your characterization is impeccable. Astoria appears so open, so bland, so dull in the beginning. At first glance, Draco is quick to dismiss her. I would have honestly done the same thing in his shoes. Mouse brown hair - that just speaks wallflower. There's a clipboard. There's tea. And I get it. But as you progress forward, we slowly begin to see Draco's scrunity of Astoria Greengrass change. He begins to notice something beneath the air of professionality, something difficult to unearth despite her obvious open disposition, something willing to try. And Draco, you wrote him exactly as I would imagine him post-War. I can't really describe it, but there's just a feeling of Draco. He's really a remarkable character, and you portrayed his view perfectly.


And your word choice. Description. Ohmygod, I have no words for your word choice. Every single word you use feels so concise and deliberate, painting such a vivid picture in my mind. How you wrote his world, and how he saw things... it's really an amazing feat. You need to writ forever and ever. I think that's a really brilliant idea actually. Forever writing from Gina.

Eeee, amazing job with this!

Author's Response: c: aw thanks! I really wanted to evoke that sort of reaction to Astoria -- bland and ordinary in the beginning, but she becomes as much of an enigma as Draco is usually characterized as. Yet, she's the sort of mystery that doesn't need solving; she is simply unsettling in Draco's eyes, and it's a really interesting kind of attraction to write. As for Draco, I'm trying to bring out my headcanon as best as I can!

I'm glad you liked it! ^__^



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Review #3, by WistfulClash: Her

14th July 2013:
Where are they?

My words, I mean. I've been looking for them after reading this chapter, but I can't find them as I have no words for this. This was fantastic. No words. (I do have words, of course, but they aren't as eloquent as describing what I think of this chapter as "djiojosidjosijdosijosjpkfk,lflff omgomgomgomg WOW"). Everything you've written in this is genius. I'm already hooked onto the plot, and I swear I'm going to keep up with this story. I'm already dying to know what happened. Is it possible I could persuade you to write a novel in the next ten minutes and update it? No?

I always had Rose and Albus down as having an amiable relationship after reading the prologue, but after reading this chapter, I think that it's understandable if perhaps their relationship isn't all sugar and honesy. Albus has the pressure of the savior fo the Wizarding World on his shoulder, and Rose has the 'greatest witch of her age' on her's, and I would suspect it would only be understandable if a rivalry rose from the tension, although I would have never imagined sucgh a rivalry as this. Your description was used fleetingly, very concise, giving me a good idea of everything that was happening without leaving nothing for me to imagine myself.

The plot is amazing. I'm so curious to see what will happen, how it all begun, how it could possible end like this.
asdfghjkl;

I'm afraid I'm lost for words again.

Can't wait to move on to the next chapter! c:
10/10

Author's Response: I have no words for this review.

Oh wait. Extremely, extremely flattering. Thank you so much! Reviews like this make me smile and want to write more, and I promise I am SO close to finishing the next chapter--it will be up soon :)

I won't give any hints on the plot, of course but there are plenty of surprises along the way and everything will be explained in due time. You're absolutely right about the pressure on Rose and Albus to be the 'best', but trust me when is say that their rivalry is in the friendly stages right now ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing, and I hope you take the time to do that for future chapters :)


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Review #4, by Wistfula fallen princess : pretty flower lily

14th July 2013:
The summary absolutely hooked me in. HPFF certainly have its share of stories about villians - Tom Riddle - and of characters that are firmly set in the gray area - Snape, Draco Malfoy, Peter Pettigrew - and of characters regarded as heroes - Hermione Granger, Harry Potter. Of course, all these characters are truly in the shades of gray and none can be really said as good or evil, but as it stands, that is often how they are commonly regarded. But Lily Potter? Lily Potter is usually cast as a good guy, not as a villain. And what intrigued me even more was that you said that was an antagonist in 'her own story.' Often villains don't really regard themselves as villains but as people who know better, but by saying this, I would assume that Lily regards herself as the bad guy at the end of the story?

I can't wait to see that happen.

And now you begin the story in contradiction to this, portraying Lily as almost the princess. Sweet, flowery, smiling - this can be no villain. But as the title says, this si about the fallen princess, and I'm interested to see exactly how she will fall.

ďLove is cruel like that, Lily. You donít choose it. It chooses you.Ē

^This line by Teddy was sad, but I get a sense of foreshadowing.

Keep updating! :3

Author's Response: ohmygod i have a review from you! i feel a little bit bad about it but i've been stalking your stuff for a while now but never reviewed because i was too lazy to make an account and guest reviews always seemed lame to me. i'm so happy to have a review from you, you have no idea!!

lily's story is very interesting - well, i hope it is - and i've worked a lot on it. lily is going to change a lot, and it's going to happen slowly but you'll notice in the next couple of chapters the direction she's going to take. it's obviously going to bad, but you'll see exactly what pushes her in that direction. this is just the beginning as i've written in the end.

lily is going to become aware of herself, at some point, which it's what's curious about her character. but i'm gonna stop before i tell you everything! you need to see for yourself and draw your own conclusions. anyways, thank you for the lovely review. you're my first review ever. this is my first story ever, so this is very special to me.

thank you. hopefully, i'll see you next time. i'm going to post the new chapter in the queue tonight. :)


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Review #5, by WistfulEnduring Devotion: Lily

14th July 2013:
ohmygod.

This was amazing. I loved this. I love how you noted that it was not only James and Harry that helped her find the strength to be who she would become, but also her friendship, and I would assume, also her family. She would draw strength from her roots as well as the future and the present. This was an almost every day, normal encounter had it not been under the influences of the situation. Their dialogue, to some extend, was friend talking to friend, talking about what concerned them and just the every day coming to call on his godson and friend. But it was not just that - it was under the pressure of worry for her son and worry for their future.

And that was part of what made this so extraordinary.

The end with Sirius and Lily - it was wonderful. I am really and truly devestated by this.

Amazing.

The last line was... oh, my. It's just knowing that there wouldn't be time. It's terrible.

You did a fantastic job on this, and I don't know how it could have been better written.

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Review #6, by WistfulAll The Tombs of Egypt Are Empty: Long and blue and forever is the Nile

13th July 2013:
ek.
omg.
eh.

like whoah. I really, really loved this. The characters for one. This was such an intriguing combination. i would have never imagined a scenario with Filch, Fletcher, and Creevey - but somehow you've managed to create a world where I don't doubt this would happen for a second. Your characterization was absolute perfection. Although you switched the narration, the connection with these characters were amazing. The way Dennis acted - he wasn't very emotional (I can't explain this) but more... forgiving? Understanding? Not holding on to his brother's death? And Filch was so perfectly Filch that it warrants an award. I was absolutely amused by his eagerness at realizing Fletcher was Fletcher.

And of course Fletcher - you got the dialogue just right.

I love the plot idea of this. It's so clever - a treasure hunt? And the ending felt just right. It gives me a feel that although their adventures mgiht continue someday, that the story won't.

Wistful
House Cup 2013

Author's Response: Hello, Wistful!

Gah, this review absolutely made my day! ♥ I'm so so glad that you thought the characterisation worked. There was a plot to this (a really ridiculous plot, I must admit), and I was so worried that while writing all the things I would lose hold of the characters, and they'd just be drifting around like blank ciphers. Your compliments are just so reassuring!

Dennis isn't very emotional in this fic. He's rather bland, living numbly after the events of the battle, though his near-death experience with the creature really sort of wakes him up, jolts him back to life.

I'm glad you thought Filch was so Filch-like! He was such a difficult character to write!

Definitely, there's more to their story, though I doubt I'll be writing it. That being said, I might do a story about Dennis in Egypt...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing ♥!

-teh


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Review #7, by WistfulDeception: Deception

13th July 2013:
Oh, I loved this!

Your portrayal of Lockhart - absolutely brilliant. In the books, we get the sense of his puffed up, stuck-up character that's all smiles and blue eyes without a brain cell in the mind for quite a while, and in fanfiction, that is requently how he is continued to be written. But you took the moments before he lost his memory, the bit of him that knew what to do in the world to find fame and fortune, the part of him that would break the law for it.

And his mind. How you wrote his thoughts, what motivated him, what led him to do what he would do.
Ah, this was fantastic!

- Wistful
Slytherin
House Cup 2013

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Review #8, by WistfulJostling: trundling

13th July 2013:
Oh. My. God.

I really - this was beautiful.

This was such a compelling piece to read, and I loved reading this. Your description had me in awe, and I was heartbroken over your portrayal of Cho. This was so real that I'm almost certain that it truly happened in the books, that it was some part that JK Rowling never included. It's just devestating: the beginning. Everything. I just really cannot find words. "It tasted like teenage angst and regret," is such an accurate description. And how Cho wants to let go but could not find it in herself to do so. And the ending. I wish I could say properly how amazing I found this and how much I enjoyed it but no words.

The description - it was so strong I would think I was really there. I felt like I was. This was fantastic.

This was really beautiful.

-Wistful
House Cup 2013
Slytherin

Author's Response: Wisty!!

Thank you so much; it's really an honor that you thought it was something that JK Rowling could've written or that it could've been something that happened in the books. Haha, for some reason, that line always makes me laugh a little bit, but I'm glad you thought it fitting!

I'm really glad you enjoyed the description. Thank you so much for all your lovely compliments! ♥


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Review #9, by WistfulA Voyage with Voldemort: Ibiza

13th July 2013:
I'm not sure what I can say.

Would, "AHAHAHAHAHAHA," upset Mr. Voldie? I'd be terribly afraid to do something like that.

This was really, really fanastic. I'm honestly laughing too much to find the words to talk about this. It's going a bit like, "and Bellatrix -she's omgomgomgomg *giggles* WHIP MY HAIR ." I'm not being exactly cohorent. But I'll say this - this was not at all boring or dull at any point. You had me reading (very giggly) to the very end without a pause. And it really was absolutely epic. So I'll just sit here and laugh for ten minutes before reutrning to give a proper review.

*laughs for ten minutes*

I can't really remark on the reality of this situation, could I? As it's no doubt likely that Voldemort actually played the crucial part of Voldie's Vanity in the books, eh. But the world you have created - the absolutely hilarious world - has confounded me. I could almost believe this all really happened. Almost but not quite. Voldemort's 'despair' at Snape leaving him, Bellatrix behavior with the baby. Ohmygod. "Infernal child, do not play with my hair." I was just imagining the little baby immediately stock-still at Bellatrix's command.

Snape's sense of smell impaired? I love this.

LOVE this.

Thank you, m'dear, for the laugh.

-Wisty
House Cup 2013
Slytherin

Author's Response: Hi there Wisty!

I would hope he wouldn't be but he can PMS about things at times, so be careful!

I liked reading your thoughts, it was a lot more interesting than something composed because it's your natual reaction. I do it at times too and it's quite fun to review like that.

*joins in laughing*

I couldn't believe it happened either when writing it, but I think that about most things so I'm starting to get used to my warped reality. It's even becoming quite fun! Bahaha, the baby's too macho to listen to what Bellatrix has to say.

Thank you for this truely wonderful review!

-Kiana


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Review #10, by Wistfulsoul of the city: soul of the city.

12th July 2013:
I was absolutely blown away by this.
Absolutely. Blown. Away.
I honestly do not have words.

Really, I genuinely feel like flailing my arms wildly and writing LOVE THIS LOVE THIS repeatedly will explain my feelings better, but I will settle with trying to explain the complete genius of this.

I felt like I was really there. To me, part of the whole point of a story is to take you away from your mudane doodling on math homework to somewhere else. Be it a spaceship hovering above the earth or a household in the 1800's, it's supposed to capture you in the story. And you did exactly that. By the time I reached the end of it, it took me a moment to remember I meant to review, that I had to go wash the dishes (not that it's especially difficult to forget that). I suppose saying all that would bring up the matter of what in specific had me staring wide-eyed at the computer screen going, "ohmygodohmygodOHMYGOD." Was it the impeccable characterization? You enthralling description? The captivating ending?

The answer is all of above.

The description must be mentioned. No, actually, it can't only be mentioned, but it must be gasped and ooh'd over. Mastering description is difficult. It's hard to have a point between "the stick was sticky" and "the twig was hued from a pallete of chocolate creams and coated in a thick substance of similar quality", but you certainly didn't have any problem finding a median between too much and too little. (I personally end up on the 'too much' side of the spectrum). Your description gave me a taste of being really and truly there without halting the flow of the story. I didn't have to pause and re-read something so I could understand it - it just came naturally. As well as this, the description itself really gave my the feel fo what was happening.

And the plot. This brings me back to having no words at all. I loved it. I have to ask - do you know all this from experience? Or research? It's an amazing feat in either case. You describe the culture, the enviroment, the smells, and the sight so well. That's another thing. This appealed to all of my senses - I could see it happening, smell the spices, hear the "faint strands of music" - etcetera. And then the ending. The heartbreaking ending. Well, no, that's what I wanted to say. Truth is, it isn't as heartbreaking as it is satisfying. It properly finishes the story, gives a sense of completion.

What was heartbreaking was the scene with Cho.

This was amazing.

Write forever and ever and ever after.

Author's Response: WISTFUL!!! When I first read this I was grinning. And then I couldn't really read through the whole thing at the time so I skimmed it. When I came back to it, I was grinning again and having to really appreciate all the absolute gobs of niceness you just poured all over me. I wasn't able to get out of my goo of happiness for ages!

I TOTALLY know what you mean on that delicate line between too much description and too little. I really really try to make it something that anyone can relate to but sometimes fall on the side of "the dirt was brown." (Which I guess is the opposite of you :P) So really, so happy you could get into it!

How unusual that you chose the scene with Cho to be heartbreaking because most have chosen the last. But you've really just said what I thought in writing it. The ending felt like an ending, a completion, not a loss, but him seeing Cho and Kang...that was loss.

Thank you thank you thank you (again and again)!!

Char


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Review #11, by WistfulFinal Call: Final Call

12th July 2013:
I have to begin by saying this was so, so good. Everything was impeccable - characterization, flow, grammar - just about everything.

Characterization. I could go on about your characterization forever. Petunia's character is something often disregarded and kept very flat, but in this story, you brought out all those dimensions. You didn't only highlight the negatives, or likewise, you didn't just gloss over her apparent flaws. From the first word to the last, readers could really see Petunia with her virtues and flaws - the bad and the good. We know from the books she sometimes gave over to jealousy and cared a great deal about appearances. In the beginning, I could see the slight pangs of bitterness and jealousy that this vacation was something her friend could have and she couldn't, and this was what led to her remarking about the lack of children - an equivelant to being jealous about Lily going off to Hogwarts and calling her a 'freak'. Although Lily and Petunia's relationship was never completely repaired, I wonder if the same applies for Marcy.

Then there's the cleaning - it goes along the same lines of caring about appearances. Petunia liked cleanliness, order, and she had Harry step aside so she could plunge in familiar routine. She liked that some things always remained constant such as the dishes.But then there was that romantic, almost 'Lily' part of her that wants to be like Marcy, wants to forget she has responsibilities, wants travel the world. And Petunia's relationship with her family. You can tell she loves Dudley and cares from him the way she speaks to him, talked about him with Marcy, and just the way she thinks about him. Vernon is on more watery waters if that makes sense. She loves him, I can tell. I know love is defined about a journey of security and safety as well as feelings, and I think he signifies more of the security bit of the definition. And with Lily - just keeping the book - that tells you everything. Going back to the jealously and inner-sentimental "felt prettier then Lily" is a fantastic example of both - she was jealous of Lily, and her wedding day was the one day she felt prettier. And with Harry - her intentions to take him to Italy, to make up for everything.

I just wanted to say your portrayed little Harry perfectly. Quiet, held back, - I just fell in love when he said he didn't have things and in the end when he touched Petunia's shoulder. Harry, when he gets older, is always very tuned in into his emotions (anger sometimes as he grows older) and this was a brilliant foreshadow of that.

I was hanging on every moment, and my heart absolutely broke at the end.

The last line?

Perfect.

-Wisty

Author's Response: Look at this beast of a review! And so wonderful and kind! You really make me feel really special and like an actual writer! You really captured what it was I was trying to do here. Petunia is no angel, that's for sure, but I also wanted people to be able to relate to her. It was an interesting line to walk, and I underestimated how complicated it would be to write Petunia. This turned out way sadder than I meant it to, but somehow I couldn't have it end any other way. It was heartbreaking...made me think about all the places I've never been.

*Sob* This review is so beautiful, it's making me emotional. Thank you so much for writing such a nice review.

Perfect.

-Kira


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Review #12, by WistfulReason to Fight: Le Phare

22nd May 2013:
...I loved this. This was such a good read - my head is still in the story and I can't seem to get out long enough to properly word anything. This story was so alive - set back in history, characters that seem real enough to come out of the pages... I honestly don't know what to say. You've endered me speechless. Every bit of it - I really, really like. The flow worked so smoothly, spelling and grammar errors were all but nonexistent - everything was just so, so good. Just write forever, yes?

I must mention the characters first. They were so vivid. Each of them so unique - you barely a had to describe them, their words spoke for themselves. Dialogue and how other character percieve them is a mega part of characterization, but yiou've seemed to master it perfectly. Down to every detail, I'm getting a brilliant idea of each one just from their words and thoughts.

I love the idea. If I had to pick what I loved most, it would have to be the idea. I've read some amazing works set in history, and so far, your's is ranked right up top with them. Word War 2 had so many things going on with intricate espionage, secret plans, and some horrible, terrible things. You've managed to weave in the Wizarding World into those times, and it fits just right.

"It is not Jean's words that are terrifying, but the brief, yet definite, look of pride in his eyes at the memory of his actions." That just gave me chills. Jean is so... I can't find words. He's too big for words. That bit right there, I really, really like.

Keep writing this! :3

Author's Response: Ungh I have no idea how to properly respond to this.

All of your compliments reduced me to a mushy pile of incoherency.

Okay. First off, I am so glad you like my characters. They're my babies, more than any other charaters I've ever written, and I love knowing that I'm not the only to like them.

Jean is quite a disturbing persona, yes, though I'm hoping to make him likeable as well!

Thank you so much -- this review meant the world to me :3



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Review #13, by WistfulHufflepuffs, Death Eaters, And the Likes.: Things Change.

21st April 2013:
The summary hooked me in completely. The whole two sides of a story thing. And it's true. Every side of the battle does have it's evils. It's a war, and wars are rarely nice. I loved the idea of another perspective on this. Another glimpse. We naturally see Death Eaters as evil and the Order of Phoenix as good, but it's bound to be different looking through another window, yes? And so far, I really liked it. Following this sweet Hufflepuff through Hogwarts during this War is something I'm looking forward to doing.

I really adored your portrayal of the Marauders. A lot of stories don't keep in mind that they wee likely a little bit of bullies once upon a time. They changed, yes, but they were slightly bullies. They were immature. While them teasing the poor girl was not out of character, in fact, it was very within character, when they continued after she started crying - I don't think that would've happened in the books. They're good people. They might have been immature, but they should've known better than that. The Marauders are more likely to give her antlers than to make her cry by doing this.

I just have to note how you wrote Remus. I liked how you did it. Looking back to it, Remus often acts as a bystander. I would have had him glance at James or Sirius meaningfully or try to shake his head rather than not doing anything at all, but I do like the general concept of him.

Keep updating! :3

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Review #14, by WistfulHotel Artemis: one

21st April 2013:
JennyJennyJenny. Why Jenny must you write such captivation stories that hook readers? Now, why not write something less absolutely amazing, huh? That would be nice, really, it would. No. I lie. But, point is, I loved reading this. I really did. From the very first line to the last. Honestly, I specifically loved the first and last line. The first was such a good opening. It's nice to think that after the War everything would be just like how the Wizarding street ought to be. With it's ice cream shops and it's robes shops and it's hotels. I never really thought about it, but I suppose that, yes, Wizarding Worlds must have hotels. And one up to this standard managed by the lovely Mrs. Malfoy - well, I expect nothing but drama.

The summary really got me. I really can't wait to see our main character, Jo, in this hotel for the rich with the Potters reserving an entire floor, her ex-boyfriend back, and hopefully a good bit of drama. I love drama, I really do. In stories, at least. I loved Jo. She was so nice, friendly, and she just seemed altogether good. Helping out her co-worker and being a pretty decent worker herself, she was realistic. Literally, I wouldn't be shocked if she just walked out of the chapter. No, actually, I would - but hopefully you see what I'm struggling and failing to say. Your characterization is amazing. There.

The management was hilarious. I love how real each fo your characters are. Mrs. Malfoy expecting nothing but the best. Even the slight dialogue with David and Toby had be grinning as widely as a cat. Pretty please update :3

Author's Response: Hey Wist! Thank you so much for all your lovely compliments! I put Narcissa as the manager because I wanted some canon characters in the day to day running of the hotel, and also because I think she would be a really really scary boss!

I'm so glad you like my characterization as well- ack, you kill me with all your nice words! Thank you so much for reviewing! Love you!


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Review #15, by WistfulThe Rose: War

21st April 2013:
Hey Sam :3

I admit, I'm quite behind on keeping up with your stories. That has brought forth regrets. How - howhowhow - have I ever gotten behind in reading your amazing stuff when you keep writing such brilliance and frequently updates. Your frequent updates are fantastic - I just have to say. I loved this story. I adore happy endings and happily ever afters and together forever's in these sort of stories. I just hope this is one of them. Watching the family on vacation with our leading cast as Teddy, Rose, and Victoire to an extent with the tensions between the girl high as they shared a room, and lovely, old Teddy - almost oblivious to Rose's affection - it's great.

When I say great, I don't mean poor Rose not getting the guy just yet was great. I mean reading it really, really was great. You, noticably, got a few romantic symbols fixed in here and there. A girl name Rose and Rome. There's only so much more romantic that gets. I loved the summary as well - it was quick but just hooked me in to reading this. I especially love the interaction between the family. The family is - well - huge, and there has to be a lot of mixed feelings here and there. Sibling rivalries and cute little cousins - with the family that big, there has to be a lot going on. And I loved how you portrayed that.

The characters were just about pulling themselves off the page with how you wrote them. I do have a quick critique on characterization though. While Teddy was incredibly realistic, I kind of felt Victoire and Rose was not up to that. We don't really get to see why Teddy likes Victoire yet - it's only two chapters in, of course, but even though this looks like a Teddy/Rose, there ought to be a reason why Teddy liked her. And from Rose's perspective Victoire doesn't seem all that brilliant so seeing more of Victoire more likeable would be nice. Just give them more life is what I'm trying to say.

Altogether, I loved it. It was a lively read, and I can't wait to see what happens.

-Wistful

Author's Response: Hey, Wistful!

Yay, I didn't know you were reading them (except Enchanted?). I'm so glad now! I honestly have no idea how I keep up with these updates, but I hope I don't slow down. :D

Yes, it's all a set up for the ultimate RomCom-style story. We'll see where it takes us (though I already have the ending in mind... ;)). There's so many in the family, it's hard to keep track. We'll see them all, though. Thank you!

You will definitely see why Ted likes Vic, Rose and Vic just aren't close, never have been, and crushing on her on-off boyfriend is not helping. But there's more of that to come, I promise. Soon, I think. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #16, by WistfulRoad Works: Sanders, Gemma Sanders.

20th April 2013:
I approach with the full intent to fulfill my pinky swear and write a review for my beloved Stephy who apparently writes quite amazingly although she's never told me her of her brilliant writing skills. I feel slightly deceived.

This was a brilliant read, and I could definitely, definitely connect with our lovely main character. Following her through her little Quidditch-y adventure that gets her between two siblings, son of the most famous man in the Wizarding World, is bound to be fun - or at least interesting.

From what I've seen or heard, usually this ends up with nothing but trouble, and it looks like this might just apply in this chapter. Looking to see this trouble - just can't wait. Of course, doesn't look like I need to.

Like I was saying earlier, I adore this main character. She connects to me, and she probably connects to most readers which is a good thing.

I'm sure we can all agree that anytime before 10 AM (or maybe more of 12 PM) should not ever, ever exist, and I was delighted to see this character shares my view. Reading the books, I always felt sorry for the characters during morning. As it's school, they have to wake up at a ridiculous hour, get dressed which takes longer for girls according to polls, and then have to run down a magical castle with moving, long flights of stairs to breakfast. Doesn't sound like a blast, does it?

So I love you gave us a glimpse of this perspective - was a fabulous idea.

Although I'm going to disagree with the whole 'bias'd head of House.' As this is the next generation, one can reasonably assume that Snape's dead and Slughorn is bound to be either retired or dead by now, and Professor McGonogalll (or whomever is the headmistress or headmaster) is unlikely to hire anyone like Snape's bias'd-ness. Maybe an unpleasant figure might be the Head of Slytherin but maybe not bias'd. Also have to add - the Potions professor isn't always the Head of that House. Really, if this professor was recently hired, he probably isn't the Head of House at all.

To finish this up, I would fix some grammar errors with quotation marks and capitalization, but altogether I really loved your story and it put a smile on my face. Keep updating! :3

-Wistful

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Review #17, by WistfulSpoil: Pulp, Pulse, Pull

18th April 2013:
"I have no idea what it's supposed to mean and won't pretend otherwise."

...don't you? Can't you see that in this story, the meaning of what happens to cookies after they get absolutely burned to crisp is carefully contained within a feeble cage of glass hovering on the staggering, unbelievable verge of being free and being able to fly away in the wind like any other ordinary HPFF chapter in the archives. Cause clearly that's what happens. Chapters fly, fly away into the wind after being validated. Except no. They cumbersomely circumnavigate elsewhere on resplendent wings of metaphorical prose that made me absolutely die of laughter and really rather made me want to hug you.

No, I really have no idea what I just said. i think I managed to confuse myself in a horrible attempt at prose. I think it went something along the lines of "this is so super duper amazing, and omg I just about died of laughter."

Yes. I think that might have been it.

Althoguh really, I absolutely love you for writing this. When I look at this quite literally, it seems more like someone is following someone through vivid and nonsense like imagery. I'd like to add I would be perfectly happy without said person following me through vivid prose. I love, love, love, love, love the language you used though. I have no idea how you think of such things. Some of it is just so, so beautiful that whether I like it or not I have to imagine it. And really, at some parts, I'm really rather okay without imagining it. I loved it. Bottom line. Loved it. Forgive the typos

-Wistful

Author's Response: Bahahaha! That was an extremely epic explanation.

I wrote this as a result of frustration at seeing so many stream-of-consciousness stories on HPFF that look pretty but make no sense. And they have fooled readers into believing that ambiguity = genius. They give the extraneous descriptions that have nothing to do with the plot too much credit because they /assume/ it's good. That's what happens. Confusion breeds assumption, which lends the author the benefit of the doubt. Beautiful descriptions, but essentially meaningless when you dissect them.

This is probably making no sense.

Regardless, it was fun to parody SoC and imagery-heavy writing that's basically glorified nonsense, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! Thank you for your review. :)

- Sarah


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Review #18, by WistfulGinny's Riddle: The Diary

18th April 2013:
Hey, Maggie! :3

I always loved Ginny. I've noticed throughout the fandom there are some very differing opinions centering Ginny, but I've always loved her and admired her. You've got to have guts to grow up with six older brothers, don't you? And through the books, Ginny has never been anything short of guts and nerve. I absolutely love stories that cover the perspective of events from another character's point of view, and this is no exception.

I really, really enjoyed reading this first chapter.

The characterization of Ginny was just about flawless. The very first paragraph gave readers who read or didn't read the books the crucial information necessary for them to know to really try to get Ginny. The way you described the way professors glanced at her was fantastic. It gave an everyday sort of example of what Ginny had to go through before she could define her own thing.

I honestly got chills when she got that little, black book, thinking of what would happen. Here she was thinking she finally got some company, and what happens? This. Even in the first chapter I can already see Tom start to entrance Ginny like he had with Myrtle and Helena Ravenclaw before. And I noticed you had Ginny mentally building a picture of this sympathizing, trustful friend.

Amazing - just amazing.



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Review #19, by WistfulWith Sirius Black: Prologue with Sirius Black

18th April 2013:
Since, well, forever, Sirius Black has always been an especially interesting character to read, and I was utterly devastated by his death in the fifth book. The idea to explore his past, not exactly during the Marauder's era but while in Azkaban, was extremely clever, and I was hooked in just by the idea of a plot following Sirius Black to his escape and perhaps eventually to his double crossing, old 'friend' - Peter Pettigrew. This whole story gives that devestating feel of Azkaban and the bitterness of our main character, known as a traitor and murderer without cause. Framed. It's enough to drive anyone mad.

Sirius Black is a beloved character by the fandom, and it was certainly a tragic blow to our hearts when he died. This does make him a tricky character to write. With so many fans with knowledge about Sirius from the books, it can be difficult to keep him as he was written in the books, and I applaud you for your effort. Considering circumstances, I believe that Sirius was written fairly in cannon. No one'll be exactly the same after years in one of the worst Wizarding prisons with creatures that essentially suck the happiness out of you, would they? Even if they were the nifty Sirius Black with all those clever tricks up those sleeves - like, say, transforming into a dog.

I do have to crit his escape though. Thirteen years would drive a man almost insane even with Sirius Black's rays of hopes and animigus power. He did have a goal in mind, and that was what kept him hanging there. But still, wouldn't it be more likely he thought of escaping as a dog much more long ago when his mind was more clear? We know from how casual he was about the crossword puzzle in the books that he fared well enough, but that was with the dementors not quite nearby, and so how would he be like in the night? Although your description was good, i don't think you quite captured how it must have been in the dark hearing screams at night.

The bitterness like I already mentioned was really good. He'd have to be bitter. A man betrayed him and lived free. Literally a double-crossing rat. His mental character was very good and described the bitter, ex-Marauder character of our beloved Sirius. I would like to ask if you could easily slip in some more physical description of him. Just him "running a hand through the greasy, dark locks" or "peering gray eyes at the Minister" or just something like that to help give the reader more of a visual. On that note, I think the whole chapter could benefit form a little more description.

Bottom line, I loved the clarity and strenth of this story as well as the fantastic story line but think it could use some description.

I hope I helped!

- Wistful with a late review swap >.>

Author's Response: Really late response, but with this awesome new site remodel I can now see how many reviews I've missed answering.

Thank you very much for this review, I am working on revamping it, and even making it longer with more details, like exactly how he escaped and what he did right after. I might go more into the dark things but the challenge is that I don't really like it, no one loves torturing their character unless they're really bad. The thing is, he really went through it so I have to bring that out as a responsible writer.
You really did help with this review, I'm just sorry it took this long to tell you.
Thanks, and I hope you check in again!


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Review #20, by WistfulStagger: Do I Dare

16th April 2013:
It was the title that drew me in. Stagger. There are some words that just give a feeling. Stagger is one of them. This was a hooking read. No doubt. I read all four chapters and I enjoyed it all. I love how much you include Piper's life at home. Some stories graze over it to a point where I wouldn't know if the main character is an orphan a muggleborn or what, and that's alright s'well, but I do love how you worked it in. If it hadn't been for the family, I don't think I would have liked Piper. Sullen, angsty, angry at the world - just like any other angsty teenager. Nothing interesting. But how connected she is to her family, how affectionate she can be with her siblings; that I love.

I love the way you write. It's very direct and deliberate. You describe things just enough to let me know thet yes, Hogwarts is a bunch of mismatched stones, but it also leaves enough lacking to let our own imaginations fill it in. Fortunately, in the fandom, we already have a good idea with the help of the books and movies. Your wording is lovely. I just love how you say things. Rose - I like Rose but don't in the same time. What she's doing to herself - well, no, clearly don't like.

This was brilliant to read. I hope you keep on writing! c:

Author's Response: Ee this review has made my day! Thank you so much! You're absolutely lovely. Piper's a little ball of hatred isn't she?! Ooo I don't know what to say I'm all giddy, thank you so much for the lovely review, you're amazing!

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Review #21, by WistfulA Hundred Bloodied Sunsets: we will remember

9th April 2013:
Honestly and truly, Helen, this was one of the most beautiful thing I have ever read. It might just be my Harry Potter feels coming to play, or your beautiful writing, but this was just so amazing - I don't even have words. I've read so many of your things. Some have me bent over laughing, and others have me bribing you for an update. Every single story that you write that I have ever read has always been so absolutely hooking from beginning to end that I don't really know what to say. This one especially just gripped my heart. Some authors can literally paint with words. Let the readers see through their eyes. Congrats, Helen, you have just done exactly that. The first line - I just remembered everything. Just that sentence was enough for me to have jsut a small pang of what the characters must have been feeling.

Woah.

Then your imagery. About the sky, I could see the sky. All sunsetish. I don't have to describe it since you already did it for me. The foundation, the build, of the story was incredible. It was describing this sunset with theses flashes of perspective and the speech. I loved the sunset. The words you used were stunning. I could literally see the sunset, Helen. Like really.

And each and every moment was so, so dear. I was all red-eyed by the end. I love all those characters so much, and in this I could just see the grief. This is amazing. All the tragedy. You've managed to characterize each character you mention perfectly in just a few sentences. "We will remember them." I love each of this characters and these little glimpses brough them to life.

Write forever.

Author's Response: Hello Wisty you absolutely lovely person.

First, I don't think I tell you enough how much I appreciate it when you're all lovely like this. Honestly, you know when you left this for me I'd had a really rather horrid day (allergic reaction and insomnia and exploding slow cookers and all) and honestly it made me feel so much better you are a really really lovely person and I'm a very lucky author to have you reading my stories, let alone liking them.

And e this was just something that I sort of scrubbed together when my brain was being all floaty, and PAINT WORDS eee (I have a whole novel on my computer called 'the painter' which is just like... all about word painting and the feels surround it) yes THANK YOU :)

And this is a beautiful review. It's practically poetry in itself (and I'm going to say it's more beautiful than the story) and you... ack, thank you very very very much and you know I will try my damned hardest to be able to write forever.

Bless you, Wist, for being lovely like this :)

Helen


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Review #22, by WistfulCold: The Assignment

4th March 2013:
Hey there! :'D

This was a fantastic and thrilling way to open up this story. The urgency of whatever this case is was clearly important by the way Kingsley, Harry, and Draco talked on it and in top secret. Everything seemed so in-Ministry if you understand what I mean - it seemed like it was under some sort of secretive protocol. The characterization was really good but not, say, flawless. Its difficult to write cannon characters considering readers already have an image of them from reading JK Rowling, but you did a good job as it was. Draco and Kingsley was incredibly in character in the situation with Kingsley explaining the situation smoothly in the way that made him part of the muggle minister's security in the books, and Draco just as distant and cool as always with a fabulous bit at the end. Hermione and Harry seemed a bit off in comparison and not coincidently they're also the ones that JK Rowling characterizes the most. Harry seemed a bit too distant and un-Harry, and it didn't seem like him as a friend to Hermione. Under the situation, I would expect him to be more hurried and worried, aternating assuring Hermione, supporting her, or un-subtly telling her it could ba dangerous. The tension should have been more obvious considering. Its jsut about the same for Hermione - she just didn't respont the same way she should have. Her neatness and still helping Ron and Harry with their work was a fantastic bit right there though. Hermione is more observant, and it isn't like her not to... I don't know, be observing if you understand what I mean.

The 0900 hours was definitely intriguing. All the secrecy really hooks the reader in, and I'm really curious to see whay'll happen next. "This was her chance but it came at a price." Tow things to say about this. First of all, I just lovelovelove the wording. It was written so smoothly, and it proves true for a good deal of things. And the second is I don't get why this is her first chance. I mean, this si the war heroine Hermione Granger, helped defeated Voldemort - I would imagine she had her part aiding other Death Eater captures and such. Please pardon my grammar and typos and know this really was a great read. I loved it!

- Wistful

Author's Response: Wistful,

Thank you for the great review! I'm really happy that you liked this chapter so much! I will love into the characterization of both Harry and Hermione and see if I can do something to make them seem more in character!

Thank you for pointing that out!!

Meg


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Review #23, by WistfulObliviate: Days One Through Thirty

18th February 2013:
Wistful from the forums with a review swap! :3

This was so incredibly suspenseful from beginning to end of this chapter. I've always been more of a third point of view writer/reader, but I just loved how you pulled of this narrative. i can easily see the emotions and thoughts from just the dialogue and how she thinks. I would think its incredibly difficult to write someone losing their memory considering its not like they remember much. In muggle cases, I believe there is some sort of statistic that says the majority of times people just lose bits of their memory or gets them back eventually. With a Memory charm, i was wondering if it was the same case? But I really did like how you wrote her when she first woke up. Everything seemed to slowly drift into her. In a way, I sort of understood. Like it was one thought to another, slowly noticing more things and thinking more and asking questions as the sentence goes on. I found this perfectly realistic.

It would make sense that you wake up with nothing to remember but with the intelligence of a full grown woman that you might just notice first that you woke up and second the shape of the room. The you wrote in how she saw the room, helping to paint the picture. Some of the words you used would seem kind of repetitive in some other sense, but you used it to help paint the picture to what she was seeing - almost like you painted the picture for her, not the readers. And I just love love love love love love love love love love the plot. The idea of this character taking away her own memory and giving herself another chance. Its a fantastic idea, really. How did you think of it? I'm super curious to see how this goes along.

Also I'm suffering feels for this brother. They both want the girl back, his sister. Its so woah to see everything slowly come together for the girl and how everyone believed she was more her again even though she wasn't so sure herself. I love how you wrote the brother. And the flow of your story is just as fantastic. it all worked so smoothly together with no problem with tenses or odd bumps in the road. I do have to say it was like it moved too fast, one second no memory, next family and feeling more herself, and then a friend. It was a bit too fast for my liking, but besides that, I honestly loved this story. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the swap! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #24, by WistfulThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: See You In September

4th February 2013:
I honestly never thought much about Arthur/Molly. I mean, yes, a little subconsciously, but I never really took that much time. I always had the idea of Molly being sweet sort of fabulous friend and Arthur being just loyal (again, didn't think much on this), but that was it really. As for their relationship, I pictured sort of the happily ever after golden couple that got hitched up fast due to coming war. So, when I read this, and I think it was perfect. Really. That would have been exactly what happened. That would be exactly how Molly would be, and exactly how Arthur would be, and it would all be exactly like that, and I'm not sure how I ever imagined otherwise. The way you write, its like you spun me into your reality. Reading through the chapters, I got so super attached to the characters. You just wrote them all to life, and you made them just so real.

So, I just want to squee at their relationship. It was like a real relationship. Started of the stranger things - a plan gone wrong. And even though Molly originally liked another bloke, at first he was somewhat cute, and then they were just *insertllotsalovehere* And its just Weasley. To me, the Weasley's have always been a family with so much love, and ti makes sense that Molly and Arthur would have the same sort of warm and fuzziness to it like their family to come. Every word just skipped to the next, and I found myself just adoring this. It just worked somehow. All the gears clicked together, and they have the kind of relationship with its bumps and its dead ends, but it all worked. Just like how your writing got these gears turning.

Molly/Arthur - just woah with writing it.

Author's Response: I think most people don't put as much thought into Molly/Arthur as I have ;) lol. Possibly this means I need a life. I really love them together, especially when they're young. They're just so cute. I'm so glad you liked how I wrote them as teenagers! I tried to keep them in character, keeping elements of their adult selves and putting them back to pre-parenting days.

Warm and fuzzies is definitely how this ship rolls. Molly and Arthur have such a solid relationship as grown-ups, even with so many kids and a lot of heartache and poverty, I think they had to have started with some serious true love.

Thank you so much for the kind review! I'm very happy to hear how well you liked the story. I hope you get a chance to read the rest of this series, and let me know what you think! :)


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Review #25, by WistfulNot Just a Bystander: And then there are shifts...

4th February 2013:
Every time I read one of your absolutely fantastic updates, I pause and think, "how is Helen so absolutely fantastic?" Because this is a though-provoking question. What are your secrets? How do you write such incredible-ness? Do you want to trade identities? Just some of those regular deep literary questions that really make you stop and think. Because this was fabulous. Fantastic. Fabuloutastic. Other words combined together to express just how utterly amazing this was. I could go on forever, but I'll spare you the thesaurus. Anyways, this was just so *happyitchysmileonface* sort of thing. Like even though it was sort of emotional and made you want to hug everyone a good deal of times, you still find yourself smiling the whole way through somehow despite everything. Pure magic that. Its like Autumn is growing up. Why do characters have to grow up? Its like I wanted to hug her, throw a rock at her and tell her to be Autumn-of-first-chapter again, and to cry a lot in my little corner of the world.

And, just have to say, Winter really is a great nickname for Autumn no matter what Roxanne might think :') Also, I just love how you had the DomxFamily thing working here. In a lot of fanfics, Dom doesn't like her family, and you sort of understand why. But this is one that really went through it. I loved how Autumn kind of just scrape dig into the bottom and dug all the yucky parts of the truth out and just put ti all out there. Loving how Roxanne and Fred always look out for Dom through everything. I mean, yeah, they don't have to, but they just do it,and I want to hug them too. Really, I just want to hug all of your characters. Just walk up to them and give them a hug. You just build out a fantastic reality right there, its just woah woah and woah. Oh, and as for Dom, I love just how developed Dom is. Dom is practically... everything. She is certainly horrible, but you've got to love her, and she really shows all the bads and goods of a person.

Brilliant chapter, to sum it up. Really. Never stop writing,

Author's Response: Wisty,

You are truly a lovely being who cannot understand how such lovely reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzed up inside (like the feeling you get when someone brings you a cup of tea when you're in bed, and you're awake but you don't have to get up for a few hours - this is how you make me feel).

Also, I'm so using the 'I'll spare you a thesauras' as a sassy insult one day. Seriously. I'm accrediting you and everything. That's greaat.

One of my favourite things about writing is having characters grow up, it's SO FUN :)

I've always quite liked the Dom-family-hater-stereotype and wanted to explore that a bit, because it would always suck to be in such a big family and feel like the odd one out (I've always thought that she'd have issues because in my head she's not ginger too - loooking at all these red headed people going BUT I LOOK SO BLONDE IN THE FAMILY PHOTOS but that's a seperate issue).

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVELY MY DEAREST WIST.

I can't stop writing I'll go cray cray.

-Helen


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