Reading Reviews From Member: Live Life Large
  
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Live Life LargeHeartbeats: Prologue

3rd August 2012:
Hey, LiveLarge here with your requested review!

Nice cliff-hanger! I've never been good at those(; I hope Mark doesn't die already, because I was looking forward to a love triangle (sue me(;), but I'm sure it will be good either way!

I thought your characterization was good, especially with Arthur. Some things never change, eh? I like Rose, but it's hard to be sure about characterization from the first chapter when your character isn't an extreme (not that you should change her to an extreme; I think it's quite nice to read about a normal person).

"...varying from Lucy as a therapist..." Oh my goodness, I'm actually writing a story right now where Lucy is a therapist (sorta)! Awesome(;

Congratulations to you and your beta, SamMalfoy, because I couldn't find any spelling mistakes in this whole chapter! I did notice a thing or two that I wanted to point out:

-There were a couple times I noticed that you did this, but remember to capitalize proper nouns such as Mum and Dad. However, when you say MY mum or dad, it doesn't have to be.

-"“Thank you so much, dear, I’m so glad you could come! I hear you have all been so busy lately!”"
You use the word "so" three times here, and it just feels a bit repetitive. Also, it seems sort of sugar-coated with all of the so's, and I've never thought of Molly as one to sugar-coat things. Not a big deal, though.

'He just came down to reception, puffing into his pipe whilst smoke rose up in the air from his wispy beard. "My beard was on fire," he calmly wheezed. "Now, do you know where the nearest book shop is?"'
I love Rose's dry sort of humor. This had me laughing so hard!

Lovely beginning chapter, you introduced all of the characters really well yet in a short enough chapter that it didn't drag on. Great job!

Thanks for requesting and feel free to come back(:

LLL(:

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review! I think I will have to re-request, you're a great reviewer!

Thanks for pointing out about putting 'so' in three times, I didn't notice that!!

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!!

Emma xx


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Review #2, by Live Life LargeInvisible Magic: Prologue

1st August 2012:
Hey! LiveLarge here with your requested review!

Interesting, captivating first chapter you've got here. Sirius and James felt very real, and I can certainly see Sirius being untrusting and anxious. I'm not quite sure about Lindsey, but that's only because this is chapter one and she's an OC; she seems pretty believable so far.

That said, there were a couple of things that I wanted to point out:

-"It was a scream that woke me... Even without the scream, I had been awake."
You sort of contradict yourself here, saying that the scream woke him but that he had been awake anyway. You may want to take another look at this sentence to figure out what you're trying to say.

I'm not entirely sure I can buy Sirius's thoughts about Lindsey. Personally, I think trust and wanting to protect another person, the way Sirius seems to feel about Lindsey, go hand-in-hand.

Trusting someone is knowing that they're going to be there for you and you can always count on them, and it is clearly said that Sirius doesn't trust people. Being protective of someone is wanting to be there for them and keep them from getting hurt, which is certainly the vibe we get from Sirius. Alone, either of these things are fine, but together they just don't sit right with me. Not a big deal, just a little something you might want to consider if you revise this chapter.

Also, is there some sort of one-sided hate going on, or is she just on edge because of her dream? I didn't quite get that part.

Overall great chapter you've got here. It's interesting, it's captivating, and hey! it's even got Sirius! Nice job, LS(;

Thank you for requesting and feel free to come back if you found this helpful.

LLL(:

Author's Response: Thank you for this thoughtful review! :) Sirius is a pretty complicated person. I tend to disagree, you don't necessarily have to trust or even like someone to want them safe. Also, Sirius thinks a lot things that might not really be true. He doesn't know himself very well. :) Thank you again for the review! You're amazing.
-Lucky


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Review #3, by Live Life LargeLooking through the pages: Looking back

28th July 2012:
Hey, LiveLarge here with your requested review!

This was a really sweet one-shot. It was a little strange, honestly, to read about Hermione having grey hair because she will always be a teenager to me, though I guess it happens to everyone, eh? It's funny, because I can totally picture future me going through me kids' old yearbooks and finding out about all of their friends(;

The idea of Ron and Hermione going through their kids' yearbooks is certainly a new one, so great job on originality! This definitely made for a refreshing read.

There were a few things I noticed that I wanted to point out to you:

-"The bad, such as when Rose first mentioned Scorpious and she were dating- she could have sworn Ron almost had a heart attack, he still had a grudge against anything even remotely related to the name Malfoy but it had become less when Hugo had been placed in Slytherin and became friends with Scorpious."
This sentence is really long, and feels a little run together because of that. I would suggest a semicolon between "heart attack" and "he still" to separate the Rose bit from the general Malfoy bit, and a comma between "the name Malfoy" and "but it had become" to help the sentence flow a little smoother.

-"[Adain] had apparently inherited Scorpious qualities that made him a Slytherin because Adain was also sorted into Slytherin."
You have another long sentence on your hands here, so may I suggest saying "Scorpious's Slytherin qualities" instead?

-"Memories of when Rose... how nice all of the other Gryffindor’s were..."
Because it's not a conjunction nor is it possessive, I don't think Gryffindor's needs an apostrophe.

-"Now where was I, oh yeah the man was advancing towards her."
I think this sentence would flow a bit better if you split it into two and added a bit more punctuation. For example:
"Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the man was advancing toward her."

-"'Rose then listened to what the girl was trying to say before she realised she was trying to say Ridikules!'"
This is pretty minor and nit-picky, but if you're referring to the spell used against a boggart, it's spelt 'Riddikulus'. Don't worry too much about that, though.

Your characterization was very good, and I liked the way Ron still relied on Hermione to know certain things, like "Adios" and "amour de". I thought they were both very believable, and I can easily see this as a continuation of the series because of that. Even with the minor characters I think you captured their essence brilliantly, like when Neville wrote, “You’ve got your fathers looks and your mother’s brains, but you are only yourself. Good luck, Headmaster Longbottom." I can definitely hear him saying that.

Overall great read! I hope this was helpful(: Thank you for requesting, feel free to come back!

LLL(:

Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you thought it was original! :)

I'll go through my piece and edit it using the suggestions, so thanks a ton for pointing them out!

I'm glad you think the characterisation was good, that's one of the things I'm not too good at, along with spelling!

Thanks again for reviewing! :)


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Review #4, by Live Life LargeThe Art of Living : James Potter

27th July 2012:
Hey! Here for pass the parcel; sorry it took me so long!

This was really sad. I liked how you sort of made this James's reality check, because he was so caught up in himself before that. Also, giving James family was a nice touch, because you don't ever see that in fanfics, and can you imagine how boring it would be to live as an only child with no cousins? Jennifer just made James seem more realistic somehow.

Aww, James trying to be strong at the end! Move over, Lily! Haha, the way you wrote him was just so lovable and brilliant. Great job on that!

Overall, splendid one-shot! Glad I got to read it(:

LLL(:

Author's Response: haha thats alright! thanks for your review!
im glad that you liked how i wrote james! he's one of my favorite characters and i feel like theres so much to him that people don't see on the outside.
thanks for your read+review! (:



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Review #5, by Live Life LargeCoco: The Pre-Chocolate Era

26th July 2012:
Hey there! First off, let me say that starting a marauders fic is one of the best things a person can do; trust me, I know. They're just generally amazing!

Just like yours(; I really enjoyed reading this, and I found your "10 days pass" marker to be incredibly amusing. Whoever said you can't be funny when talking about time?

When you said, "...expects everyone to just bow down to sir BragsALot!!" I was like, "Sherlock!" I don't know if you've ever seen that show, but one of the characters describes another similarly. Needless to say, I found that awesome.

Keep up the good writing! It was really enjoyable(:

LLL(:

Author's Response: Time is very humoristic! xD Glad you liked it!^^ Haha and I'd totally forgotten that line, I very much like it lol :P I know the show, but I've never really watched it :) Glad you liked it! xD I have to get back to writing this, I'd forgotten how much I liked my Lily from this^^

thanks for the review!^^

xx

-June


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Review #6, by Live Life LargeComatose: Of Chickens and Roads

26th July 2012:
Very good chapter(: I though her reactions were more or less realistic, and that made it easy to enjoy the story. I do have one thing to point out, however: how come she's suddenly not interested in Harvey? Last chapter, she was jumping at the chance to talk to him, and now she's completely dissing him because he used one stupid line.

Other than that, loved it!
LLL(:

Author's Response: It's because she's had lots of experience before her coma to know all about guys :P so she's realised that he's a complete idiot so she's not going to bother with him :) thanks for reviewing!

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Review #7, by Live Life LargeWhite Lie: The Salem Witch Trials

22nd July 2012:
Hey! So I was browsing your page in desperate need of something funny, when I saw this. And I was like, "Hey, is this what Arielle keeps talking about with the Oliver/Penelope thing?" So I read it. And it's absolutely hilarious! I'm so glad I did(:

I liked the character of Jason. His little devil-worshiping thing was funny and interesting, if a bit strange. Why does he hate Pen so much though? (Gah, I love asking these questions before reading the next chapter in which this is likely explained:P Sorry if that's what happens!)

I did notice one typo when I was reading this:

-'“You can put a down payment for two thousand and two hundred dollars,” said the sales lady.'
I think you meant to say pounds there, because you wrote pounds about three times before this.

Loved the chapter! This story has been my source of comedy recently, so thank you:D I love it.

-Rylan(:

Author's Response: Hey Rylan! Sorry for taking forever to answer this and thanks for pointing out the typo.

Do I go on about Pen/Oliver that much? *Shrugs* anyway, I'm glad you liked the story!

I'm surprised you like Jason, a lot of people claim Piper as their favorite character. :p


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Review #8, by Live Life LargeMy Not-So-Imaginary Friend: XIV: Most Books are in the Library

18th July 2012:
That was really dark. Wow. I never would have suspected that Benjamin had been around for so long! Great chapter, the diary was an interesting twist, but there was one thing I saw that I wanted to point out:

-"'Need help? Definitely? Want help? Not at the cost.'"
I think changing the ? after definitely to a period would make this sentence flow a bit better.

Besides that, this chapter was absolutely perfect. Great job!

Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Yeah, Benjamin is a whole lot more complex than he originally led anyone to believe. I feared that the diary might have been too similar to Tom Riddle's diary, but I wanted Diana to have a voice somewhere.

Thank you for pointing out that mistake! I just went to that chapter and fixed it. I type really fast and sometimes miss original typos during my editing phase.

I'm glad you liked this chapter! Thank you for your review, and I hope you continue to enjoy! As a side note, I actually didn't make any typos when writing this response! :D


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Review #9, by Live Life LargeThe Potter Files (Part 4), Dragons: Different Kinds of Trolls

18th July 2012:
I think you might want to consider splitting this chapter into two or maybe even three. 10k words is a lot for one chapter, and I totally respect you for being able to write that much, but it takes a long time for someone to read this. Also, it kind of puts people off reading your story since your first chapter is so long.

That being said, your characterization was good. I liked how Harry was a detective, it was nice to see something different from the average "Harry becomes head auror" thing, even if it is canon. It was a nice change.

I wanted to point out a few things that I noticed while I was reading:

-"...and only distant car traffic was visible evidence of any Muggle activity, whatsoever."
I think the "whatsoever" at the end sort of messes up the flow of this sentence and makes it feel a bit clumsy. I would still understand that distant car traffic was the only sign of muggles if you took that out.

-"'The client said that decided for her that some wizardry was about...'"
I had to read this a couple of times to understand what you were trying to say here. I think it might sound better if you said something like, "The client said that made her decide..." just because the flow felt a little off before.

Interesting chapter, I enjoyed reading it!

Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Thanks for writing. I appreciate the comments. I haven't had many.

The original beginning chapter with Draco seemed rather weak. I got rather frustrated after resubmitting it, so gladly went on to other things as soon as it passed the editors. Sorry about the bad syntax.

Originally, this was a stand-alone short, from when I first started writing. I had to dumb it down (at first the children were real prisoners in a dungeon and the troll a lot meaner). I tried to clean it up when I resubmitted it, but should have been more diligent. At least I removed most of the misspellings.

I've gotten bored with the 'canon' stories. They are great and I don't put down readers who like that, but after awhile I just begin to want a bit of Harry living in the real world. I tried to give him an average job I thought fit his skill at solving puzzles. But I also wanted to write about the other characters, who are mostly just background in the original HP books.


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Review #10, by Live Life LargeBroken: There are different types of crazy.

18th July 2012:
Wow. That was definitely an interesting read. I don't read a lot of Pansy/Ron, but I liked this one:D I wanted to point a few things out:

-"But each insult was hidden behind a fortress of false sweetness, so well protected that if Pansy retorted, she was the bad guy."
I loved this line. I think at some point, we all feel this way about someone, even if it isn't warranted, so it really struck a chord with me.

-"She did receive an odd lock from the person next to her..."
I think you meant look there(:

Interesting story, made me really think about Pansy's character. In the books, everyone sees her at face level, but this story really explores her character, and I though it was a nice change.

Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I generally don't write Ron/Pansy, but I was coerced into it by an ebil person named Jess. :)

I'm glad you like that line. I feel that way so much, but generally my temper gets in the way so I generally play the bad guy. I have a feeling this happens with a lot of girls ...

Yes, I did mean look. Thanks, and I'll try to fix it. :D

I'm glad you liked the story. Pansy is very interesting, and people just write her off, which I don't really like. (If you want more, go check out 'Alive'. It's another Pansy one. :D [/shameless advertising])

Thanks for the review!
Ellie


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Review #11, by Live Life LargeClass disruptions: Class disruptions

2nd July 2012:
First off, I want to apologize for how long it took me to review this. I've been busy, and I wanted to take the time to leave a nice, long review. Hopefully I can make up for it(:

Writing from Roger's point of view was very original, and it gave this story a unique twist which I really liked. I get kind of tired of reading stories from the same person's perspective over and over, so thank you for being original(:

I really wasn't sure how you would do when you chose this prompt because it's such a small one, but you really brought it to life. You kept this short and funny, which I really enjoyed.

One thing I wanted to point out was the flow where you wrote, "...because if the Professor would see him looking around...". I think it might read easier if you changed that to "if the Professor saw him."

Also, to help the flow from talking to arithmancy to potions, you might want to add a little something in. Maybe like, "What with all of his arithmancy problems, it really didn't help that his favorite class was constantly interrupted," or similar. I went back and reread the arithmancy bit, and while I can understand why you put it there, it feels a little tacked on.

Besides that, this was perfect. Thank you so much for participating in my challenge and for the great entry(:
Live Life Large(:

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Review #12, by Live Life Large"Inspired By" Collection: Safe And Sound

22nd June 2012:
Hey Sly(: LiveLarge here.

I really liked this chapter, and it aligned very well with the song too, which I decided to listen to as I read this. I felt like you really captured how Hermione felt throughout DH; determined, panicked, just plain scared. You portrayed them all beautifully in this chapter.

I loved your scene with Harry and Hermione. I've never been a Harry/Hermione shipper myself, but I think they have such a brilliant friendship, and it really showed in this chapter.

I definitely enjoyed this chapter, and will be reviewing the next as soon as I can.

Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! :D

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Review #13, by Live Life LargeAn Unusual Love: Early Days

22nd June 2012:
Awww poor Ginny. She should release all of her conflicting emotions and whatnot by beating him up. Now THAT would be funny, and goodness knows Draco deserves it:P

I quite liked this chapter. I don't read too much Draco/Ginny, but you had me hooked(: There were some quite funny parts, like the whole "I'M DRACO MALFOY! THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW," part. Bwahahaha that was funny! Also, when Draco thought "Why do I get stomach cramps whenever she's there?" that was just such a naive Draco thing to say.

Now, I did see a few typos I thought I'd point out to you.

1st- "'Warch it Weasley!' he hissed.
I think you meant watch?

2nd-"The three of them laughed as some of them passed by their table, and squealed at the sight of Slytherins."
You don't really need a comma in that sentence(:

3rd-"She caught Draco's eye instantly and he couldn't help but stare at her. She was glancing around and she caught Draco's eye when she passed..."
You said "caught Draco's eye" twice, so maybe you could say something like "and they made eye contact when she passed" to avoid sounding repetitive.

Keep up the story! This was a good first chapter.

Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Thank you and i just noticed those errors whoops! Where it says warch i did mean watch haha. I am glad you liked it and thanks for the review-xLoonyLoox

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Review #14, by Live Life LargeZorro and the Unwilling Musketeer: Lassie Come Home

20th June 2012:
Hey Jenny! Sorry it took so long to review your challenge entries; I really wanted to take the time to leave a nice, long review and I didn't really have the opportunity before now.

To start, I really liked how you wrote this in present-tense, I've tried writing like that before and I personally think it's harder than past, so nice job on that! You really managed it well, and it didn't feel choppy or awkward at all.

This. Was. Hilarious. I love reading funny one-shots, which is why I created this challenge; they don't take a lot of time to read, I don't have to read through pages of descriptions and introductions, and I get to laugh really hard without reading any angst, when generally accompanies any novel. This story was enjoyable because of the above reasons, but you also went up and out with your characterization (which was remarkably good for only 1528 words) and your witty banter.

My favorite quote was probably:

"'You are completely insane,' I pant.


'I think that’s relative,' says James. “Compared to, say, Bellatrix Lestrange, I’m completely normal.'"

I now have a new comeback. Thank you(;

The one thing I spotted was that you forgot to make the word "vagrant" plural when you wrote: “I will find vagrants and miscreant and rule-breakers, and I will make them beg for mercy!”. That's really all though(:

Thank you for entering my challenge!
Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Thanks for such a lovely review :)

I'm glad you liked my characterisation, and I try so hard to make things funny, so I'm happy that worked out! Thanks for the challenge, and I'll edit that typo soon! Also, that's one of my favourite lines too :)

Thanks for the review!


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Review #15, by Live Life LargeReasons Why Not: Reasons Why Not

20th June 2012:
Hey Linn! Sorry this took so long, I was on holiday and didn't want to write a three line, rushed review(;

First off, good job with incorporating the challenge! The quote you got was harder to work with than a lot of the others because it wasn't very specific, but you managed to pull it off brilliantly(:

This was also very interesting to read. The way you portrayed Lily was refreshing, because I'm so used to reading the fiery, off-the-handle, possibly psycho girl instead of the kind of careful, yet still daring character I read here. I quite liked it, and thought it was more realistic.

The last bit was hilarious. Though I do want to point out one thing: you didn't really specify that it was the Ministry workers who were swooning, and though I understood it, it could be potentially confusing.

One last tip: on the rare occasion, you'd include an action of one person's with the dialogue of another's in a way that was a bit confusing. For example,
"'C’mon, Soph, we’ve had enough ‘bonding time’ with my little sis and her friend.' Lily yelled after him.

'I’m not little!'"

You may want to think about revising it so that it can be clearer what Lily shouted. Maybe something like-

"'C’mon, Soph, we’ve had enough ‘bonding time’ with my little sis and her friend.'

Lily yelled after him, 'I’m not little!'"

Besides those two minor points, this was spot on(: It was entertaining, fit the challenge well, and there was plenty of dialogue, which I happen to enjoy quite a bit. By the way, I like the end note(;

Thanks for entering my challenge!
Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Hi, Rylan! Nah, it's okay, I really don't mind - the extra long review /definitely/ makes up for it :) You're too sweet - I knew that I wanted Ravenclaws and Lily Potter, and that was pretty much it, so I'm glad it turned out well.

I adored Lily in this one - same as you, I'm always used to her being fiery and sassy, so writing her as being a little more careful with what she did, and still getting into trouble (because it's the Potter way :p) was a nice change for me.

Did I not mention that? Darn. I'll have to go back and fix that - still, I'm glad you understood it. I /do/ have that habit, don't I? Even I've noticed it popping up a lot, so someday soon, I might go back and fix this.

You gave me such a lovely, long review, so thanks - and I really enjoyed writing this for your challenge :) See you around at the forums!

- Linn


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Review #16, by Live Life LargeThe legend of the Mutts: Emmalia And Nicholas

15th June 2012:
To me, it seems like you have a really good idea, but you're having a bit of trouble laying it out.

Like I said at the beginning, you're base idea seems pretty good. I'm drawn in by the idea of these "mutts", and want to know more about them. If you revise this chapter, I'd add a bit more detail about their powers in.

Really, the only other thing that you might want to change is stretching this chapter out a bit more. I'm not sure, but it seemed like you covered at least 9 months in this one chapter, so you might want to add a bit more detail.

Also, the paragraph that begins, "And soon he got her creating the birth of Emmalia and Nicholas, but only knowing of Emmalia," should probably be made longer. If you suddenly jump further on into the story, which it seemed like you did, I'd use this handy little tool.
--
The double hyphen. Generally what I use to split my chapters up, and it helps make things clearer for readers.

Now, this is not meant to be an offensive review in any way. I'm just trying to offer up some constructive criticism, because I'd hate to see a good idea not get the attention it deserves(: If you need any help, feel free to shoot me a question on the forums! I'm LiveLarge over there.

Hope I helped.
Live Life Large(:

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Review #17, by Live Life LargeVital: Chapter 1

14th June 2012:
Hi there! First off, I thought this was a great introduction chapter. I know what you mean about this time period being skipped over, in fact it feels kinda strange to be reading a story from this time.

Was the kid who swallowed the gobstone supposed to be Seamus Finnegan? Maybe you weren't thinking of anyone specific, but I couldn't stop thinking it was him.

The description of Elena and the thing about her chef boyfriend was a nice touch. Raw meat... That's just great! I'm not quite sure what I think of Elena. At the beginning of the chapter, when she was at work, she seemed rather cold and distant. Then when she was with Oliver and Marianne, she became more warm and relatable. Maybe I'll just read more so I can get a better feel for her.

On to the part where I try to be helpful. I love your story, but I'm trying to work what little constructive criticism I can summon into my reviews. Sorry if I sound nit-picky.

-"...Muggle chocolate wasn’t nearly as good as Honeyduke’s but..."
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but should it say Honeydukes' or Honeydukes's?

That's all for my CC. You're just too good of a writer(; Love the chapter, and I'll definitely be reading more.

Live Life Large(:
B vs B

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for the review!

The child wasn't supposed to be Seamus, I think Seamus would be a bit too young. But the child is that important, so feel free to imagine him as Seamus :)

I see your point about Elena changing. However, I think at work, she's more traumatized than anything. And when she's home she can be more relaxed and caring. If that makes sense.

I think you're probably right about the Honeydukes thing. So is the name of the store possessive or not? (Honeyduke's vs. Honeydukes). I guess that would determine where the apostrophe goes. I'll look it up. :)

Thanks for the review again! And I'd love to hear more from you, of course. :)


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Review #18, by Live Life LargeA Day in the Park: A Swing Set

7th June 2012:
My gosh. She was such a horrible little four year old! Though I suppose it's only to be expected.

I liked how you wrote her as being so attention-seeking, because it really compliments the way she was Voldemort's right-hand-lady and would go to such great means for praise from him.

When it read, "Bellatrix found herself elated at this boy’s pain," I shivered, just as I always do when I read her character in the HP books. I think you did a really good job in capturing the essence of Bellatrix throughout this one-shot.

You've made me want to read more of you're work now. Thanks a lot(;

Live Life Large(:
B vs. B

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the nice review :)

I'm glad you thought that Bella's characterization was good. I figured that for her to be so messed up later in life she'd have to show signs of it earlier in life. This was a really different one shot to write because of Bella's character.

Hope to see you again around the BvB battle some time

-BoOkWoRm24


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Review #19, by Live Life LargeAll the Abstract Nouns: Fifteen

7th June 2012:
I'll most certainly be keeping my eyes out for more(: I really enjoyed this story, but I feel like I've already said most of what's on my mind. I hope Molly will go on to find some better friends when she's older, because Erin and Roxy don't seem to be doing much for her.

Oh, the decent into the land of make-up. It's true that it's almost impossible to back out once you've crossed that bridge. Oh well, it's not too bad a place(;

I had fun reading this! Can't wait to read more of your stuff.
Live Life Large(:
B vs. B

Author's Response: Hey Live Large! Thanks for all these lovely reviews! I really appreciate you going through and reading all of this (it makes me feel happy and shiny inside). I think... when you're a teenager you often end up with friends which aren't always very... good friends.

Ahha, the land of the make-up. I... well, I'm a semi regular habbitant of this land, but due to lazziness i regularly cross the bridge home.

Thanks for they lovely review! :)


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Review #20, by Live Life LargeAll the Abstract Nouns: Sixteen

7th June 2012:
It's funny, because you're chapters actually seem to get more mature as they go along, even though Molly's getting younger. Strange... Haha.

I liked this chapter as well, and I'm sad that there's only one chapter left. You should think about writing another Molly story(:

Live Life Large(:

BTW- Last chapter, I think I timed out in the middle of leaving you a review, so the review showed up as anonymous. Sorry for any confusion!

Author's Response: Hey there Live life large! I'm so glad that you decided to read all this story (and honoured too) and, well, about the maturity thing... in my opinion you have to deal with a lot of mature issues when you're younger and then, when that's out of the way, you sort of get a chance to relax. But yeah, this whole reverse chronology thing was really interesting to play with :)

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Review #21, by Live Life LargeAll the Abstract Nouns: Eighteen

6th June 2012:
This is a great introduction chapter! You really don't see a lot of stories about Molly, so this makes for a breath of fresh air. I also like how you didn't make Molly and Lucy all stick-in-the-mud-y, because in most stories that seems to be the case.

Molly and Dexter's relationship is very interesting... I can't decide if it's actually platonic, though it sure does seem like it. Most people can't relieve themselves in a bush with someone they like.

So congratulations, you've got me hooked! I'll be reviewing the rest of the story, and I've got high expectations now, haha(:

Author's Response: Thanks very much, Life Life Large!

I've fallen a bit in love with Molly through writing this story and now I want to write novels and novels about her. She's creeping up on the list of my favourite next gens, ahha.

AHAHAH. That has got to be one of my favourite quotes from a review ever "Most people can't relieve themselves in a bush with someone they like. "


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Review #22, by Live Life LargeThe Hummingbird's Wings: Funeral

5th June 2012:
Wow. I'm not even sure how I'm going to review this, because it was just so different from anything else I've ever read.

First, let me just say that it was beautiful to read. The words and sentences all flowed together wonderfully, and though I was a bit confused at parts, I could always tell the mood. Reading this was almost like listening to a song, where you can't quite make out the words but you know what's happening anyway.

I loved the part about time. My favorite sentence was "Time changes you, time burns out lights, time brings new ones." I feel like almost everyone can relate to that sentence; I most certainly could.

The ending was sad, but there was also a hint of happiness in it, at least to me. I felt like Hermione was almost relieved at the end, because she had learned something in her thousand words worth of reflection, and she felt a little closer to Ron, even though he wasn't there anymore.

I definitely enjoyed reading this, and I'll be one the look-out in case you decide to write something else like it. You most certainly have a way with poetry(:

Author's Response: Thanks for this awesome review!
I had recently read some one-shots with metaphors, but wanted to go deeper with it, so I'm glad you liked it!

You also have a way with metaphors; like a song? That is great, and I hope I didn't confuse you too much.

Time has been slipping away lately, so I guess some things were also somewhat personal, and it's a great thing you can relate to them too.

I actually felt lighter at the end, and so am happy you got that impression. I don't know if I am ever going to write like this again, but I'll let you now if I do. I'd love to ^^


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Review #23, by Live Life LargeThe Complicated Life of Mirabelle Rose: A Very Unhappy New Year

31st May 2012:
First off, I'm so glad you updated! I found this story a couple months ago and have been checking up on it ever since.

The way you've been writing is brilliant; I don't know if you did it on purpose, but you'd lulled me into a sort of false sense of security, and I could almost forget that the people Mira is forced to hangout with are Death Eaters, killers. With this chapter, you've managed to shock me back into the reality of Mira's world. I must say I'm very sad, for I was beginning to genuinely like Rabastan.

The scene with Lily was very well done! I was seething along with Mira as Lily was insulting her, and grinning like an idiot when Mira completely showed her up. A bit more interaction between them would certainly be welcome!

Stunning job on this chapter! I eagerly await the next(:

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Review #24, by Live Life LargeOne Summer: Chapter Two

30th April 2012:
Wow. Just those 2 chapter were the epitome of hilarious! Amelia seems to have the worst luck; one second she's being forced to work as a live in cleaner for the summer, and the next she is dueling Lord Voldemort. How smooth. I'd love to find out more about what Voldemort was doing in the town. Alas, maybe next chapter (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge). Hopefully Amelia isn't forced to do culty things or anything(; Keep it up! Until next chapter, be sure to...
Live Life Large:D

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Review #25, by Live Life LargeBlue and Purple Goo: [1]

30th April 2012:
Hi there! LiveLarge here to review your challenge entry:D
I thought you did really well with this! My favorite lines were "...which only brought to mind Teddy Lupin running around frantically trying to fix the problems we’d started..." and "Much too complicated, all in all, if you asked me. But, again, nobody ever asks me." The 1st quote created such a hilarious mental image I just had to laugh, and the sarcasm in the 2nd was just lovely, with a bit of truth stirred in and mixed 5 times clockwise, seeing as we're doing this backwards. I also liked that bit; I'd never really thought about the complications of making a potion backwards.

There was a mistake I noticed, not that it was anything very important. "...I wondered whether there’s would actually turn out to be cooler than mine." I think you probably meant theirs in that sentence(:

Nice job, VioletBlade! Thanks for entering my challenge; I enjoyed reading this(: Until next time, remember to...
Live Life Large(;

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for the review, it definitely brightened up my day! I am dreadfully sorry at how long it's taken me to respond to the review however! There's no excuse for that! D:

I'm glad you liked the premise of the story! The original version was from Albus' point of view in which he and Scorpius were enemies and he was dared to brew an Amortentia potion backwards, however, as you can see, that drastically changed! (Something you should be glad for as that other one definitely had many plot holes that were screaming at me just from the description xD)

NO NOT A MISTAKEN Their, They're, There's! Gah, I must fix this. Thank you for bringing that to my attention! I must have been half-asleep to not have noticed that xD

Anyway, thank you again for the wonderful review! I loved writing this for your challenge! :D

~VioletBlade


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