This one-shot is such an incredible piece of writing.
I first read this a little while back but for a long time I did not know what to say in a review... I still don't really know what to say. This is a really brave piece of writing and I applaud you for writing it and even more so for publishing it.Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review! This is such a personal topic for me. I write about it a lot but it was a different thing all together to post it. Thank you :) Report Review
This is an extraordinary one-shot. It is so dark and engrossing, a really fantastic read!
Your writing is incredible and evoked some brilliant imagery. And the metaphors! They are brilliantly used and everything fits together and flows perfectly. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Report Review
Very sweet one-shot!
I really like what you did with your assigned tagline. This is such a bittersweet story and I think you did a good job in finding balance amongst the mix of emotions. Really well done!Author's Response: thanks so much, means a lot :3 Report Review
This one-shot is something else. I have not read anything quite like it in a while. It is thoroughly engaging from the very beginning and right until the very end. And the inclusion of the symbolism throughout was fascinating.
Regulus Arcturus Black. He is, sadly, both underused and misused in fan fiction but I think you explored his character well. Really brilliant job, he is neither saintly nor malevolent, he is who he is.
I hope this review will make sense. Perhaps I should have kept it short and simple and just told you I really enjoyed reading this fic. It is an incredible piece of writing.Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you so much! I was trying to do a style like you'd see on lj, but I think it got too... well, I don't know what happened, but it got away from me a bit, but yay that it's special and engaging! Regulus is certainly underused and misused in fic, but he seems to be experiencing a comeback (although he never really was here, tbh), and people are taking an interest in him! I'm so happy that you think I did it well, though, because he is so difficult to get right, and I think that to portray anyone effectively, one has to avoid extremes like saintly or malevolent. Characters are who they are~ I do think you made sense and I'm so so happy that you left such a lovely review. Thank you ever so much! Report Review
Do you want to share that chocolate ice-cream? This one-shot is so very sad.
I don't want to say that I "enjoyed" reading this as it is such a grim tale but it is an engaging read and it is so incredibly well written. I loved the addition of the chess terms throughout.
Your characterisation of Ron is brilliant. All his thoughts are just the sort of bleak things I imagine adolescent Ron would have. And I do like the way you included his insecurities in a realistic and relatable way as opposed to the simple-minded and trivial Ronald Weasley I oft come across in fics.
Really well done! Report Review
This one-shot is so incredibly well written. I have read it a few times this week, whenever I find a bit of free time.
It is so skillfully written and the way you handled the backwards chronology is superb- the way that things that may appear as finer details at the beginning of this chapter are encountered again later on until they all eventually come together in the end. Like putting together the pieces of a puzzle but you do not know what the picture will be...
... And such a tragic picture it turned out to be. The way you connected the actual historical event with the wizarding world was really well done. It is such an evil part of history but I think you did well in keeping some things vague rather than attempt to write about something so terrible that most of us cannot even begin to imagine what it was like. The final part with Levi absolutely broke my heart.
This is a magnificent piece of writing. Report Review
This is an extraordinary one-shot! And very good use of the prompts aswell, not a single one of them struck me as misplaced.
It is a very well written story. With so many time shifts it could have easily become disjointed but it all came together brilliantly from beginning to end. And it was a joy to read your characterisation of Cho and to see her grow up and learn a little more about herself. Well done!Author's Response: Thank you! I did try to do my best to put in all of the prompts, so I'm glad they didn't seem too obvious. :)
I'm also glad that the time shifts seemed to work for you - I hoped that they wouldn't be too jolting, because I really felt that I had to cover a large period of time in not-so-many words. Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! Report Review
This such a lovely story!
So very brilliant and creative and a delight to read on both a thoughtful and an emotional level. I also really like that even with the fairy-tale element the feelings experienced by Cho are so real and unadulterated.
This is incredibly well written. Each sentence is elegant and, while on the surface they may appear simple, they convey so much. And even with all the time shifts this story fits together magnificently.Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for reviewing!! Real and unadulterated feeling, that is quite a complimentary description :)
Thank you so much for the compliments, haha. Part of their simplicity is that I felt some burning emotion behind the words and I wanted it to feel light and timeless; but I think, too, there is some magic to the successful simple sentence, and wanted that for this fic. I'm glad to hear that you picked up on what I was only hoping to achieve. And also I'm glad you thought the story "fit together," which is such an apt phrase, because to me it suggests that nothing that's here could be missing. Which is how a story should be! So, thank you again for the review, I appreciate it very much :) x Report Review
A very interesting one-shot! Good use of the prompts.
It is unique and also very odd but of course that just made it all the more fun to read. Well done! Report Review
This is an incredible piece of writing!
I think you weaved all the prompts into this one-shot brilliantly and in whole it is a thoroughly engaging read.
In regards to Cho I think you did a great job with characterisation and in expressing her feelings from a point of view we never saw in the books. I know with her being Ravenclaw House Champion many of the Task One submitted stories are going to have an element of melancholy to them... but fortunately that leads the way for a perfect chance to use the prompt feature a theme of flourishing in the face of adversity- a theme I am loving and a theme that you have used brilliantly and to great effect.Author's Response: Thank you very much deulminator! I had a lot of fun writing this - it was really great to have a challenge and have to work to fit bits and pieces in, I really enjoyed it.
I'd never thought about cho before, either, and then she was suddenly all interesting and I had a blast writing her angsty thoughts. Thanks for reviewing! :) Report Review
It was nice to read a story with the characters you chose to include. We did not get too much information about Susan Bones in the books but I think your characterisation of her as a gentle soul makes complete sense.
Also, I think you handled all the prompts well and not a single one felt out of place in the story. Well done!Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad that you thought I did a good job with this story!
Susan was a lot of fun to write because, as you said, we didn't really get to know her in the books, thus allowing me a little more freedom with her personality. I definitely imagined her as being a great friend and I'm glad you think so too!
As well I'm glad that you thought that the prompts worked with the story - some of them were hard to work in! Report Review
Amazing one-shot! So very creative and clever.
All of the prompts you weaved throughout this story were used wisely and fitted in perfectly but I have to say your use of the prompt - features a theme of flourishing in the face of adversity is by far my favourite (honourable mention for the brilliant creation Animus Chopacis). Also, brilliant and very fitting choice of quote to begin the story with.
I like how you wrote Cho and managed to fit so much of her into this one-shot; from being a perfectionist to reeling under the loss of loved ones and then to being reborn as an even more powerful woman- it is a brilliant cycle. The imagery is fantastic too, I can picture everything you wrote and I have to say that the image of Cho bursting out of an egg is quite an amazing thing to picture. Well done!Author's Response: Hey!! Thank you so much for this review!!
It's so great to hear that the prompts flowed with the rhythm of this one shot. I was a bit worried that they'd feel out of place with the more, stylistic, feel of this piece. I honestly have no idea where it all came from... this was the sort of story that wrote itself. I sat down and then, Cho was stretching her wings and taking to the sky.
Again, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this. :) Report Review
This is a great one-shot! You did well in fitting so many prompts in and they all seemed to have a place in the story (maybe except the dragon blood part but I do think you explaind it well when you described it as a thought she really should not be having at that moment).
I liked the fact that you chose to have most of the story be a meaningful dream of Cho's, it was a very interesting choice. Also, as much as I enjoyed reading those dream parts, I think the imagery is best when you wrote Cho's feelings of being awake in the middle of the night in the dormitory- these parts were fantastic.Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) I know that this story could probably use a little work. It's a miracle that I got this done today, and its a little rough still. All the same I'm glad you think I did a good job fitting in all the prompts. I figured that if I was going to write this I wanted to get as many points as possible. As for the imagery I would like to think that I can write a pretty good description if I try hard enough :P
Anyway thanks again for stopping by
-BW24 Report Review
This is an incredible piece of writing!
Not much in regards to length but it has so much depth. In fact, it is so well-written that while reading it I forgot that I am not actually a Snape/Lily fan.
The thud-thudding of each different heart was a really clever and emotive addition to the story. Also the imagery is wonderful. For the most part of this story the picture in my head was of Snape in Harry's nursery with a lifeless Lily cradled in his arms but as soon as I read the thud-thud I would actually picture a hunched over Snape surrounded by darkness, holding in his hand an actual beating and bleeding heart.
Really dark picture, I know but then again the subject is dark and so is the story. Dark and incredible. Report Review
This is an incredibly beautiful piece of writing. The story, the words, the imagery- I was mesmerised by every part of it. I actually had to read it twice before I could find the words to compose this review.
I am not even sure that I fully understood what was happening. How I understood it though, is that the point of view is switching from a family member grieving and then to Dominique who is in some sort of afterlife or maybe she is not even there at all and she is some sort of phantasm...
Whatever the case, the way you shifted from the grim point of view of each family member and then back to the dreamy and otherworldly parts that observed Dominique is skillfull and poignant.Author's Response: Thank you so, so much. I think reading this twice is probably best, generally. Things probably make a bit more sense the second or third time around!
You've pretty much hit it on the head. Dominique's side of things is a bit confusing, I'll admit, and it's pretty much open to interpretation. I love the idea that it's a form of afterlife - not how I saw it but definitely close and I really like that perspective.
Thank you so much for such a lovely review! Report Review
The Four Founders- you have truly turned the genre on its head and made the story and its characters your own. It is all so captivating and you had me enthralled from the very beginning and right up until the very end.
It is not only the overall story that is to be complimented but also the legend behind the smaller things- like the Black Lake, the Forbidden Forest, the Sorting Hat and so on.
And I love that no matter how completely AU this story is, you still managed to melt it with canon and create this wonderful and surprisingly rational account of the founding of Hogwarts.
This story was such a pleasure to read! Report Review
Excellent chapter. Excellent, excellent, excellent!
Helga's final moments, her final musings were so insightful and Salazar forcing Riol, of all people, to kill her was disgustingly cruel.
All in all, this chapter had me so agitated. I was so hoping that Godric would see reason and spare Riol or that Rowena would speak up and expose Salazar. This story is so amazing though, in that it is not predictable and can stir such feelings in the reader. Report Review
You have skillfully paced this story. I feel like everything is coming together now and that the next chapter is going to be nothing short of remarkble. Report Review
This chapter is brilliant!
I found the action of battle to be so incredibly well written and I also loved the raw emotion and heart in Conall's speech about Hogwarts. Really fantastic.
And the twist of having Rowena in disguise as Ailbhe- I did not predict that and albeit marred by the loss of her men, I must admit that it was a pleasant surprise to learn that she had not completely abandoned Hogwarts. Report Review
A battle? I sure hope so!
You know, I am so happy that I am reading this story now that it is completed because I am so painfully curious as to what Salazar has planned and what role Rowena is playing in his plans and also what it will all mean for Helga and Godric. It is all so enthralling, I think I would have a hard time waiting otherwise. Report Review
So Helga has another book for the shelves of Hogwarts and if I am not mistaken... the Sorting Hat?
This chapter is great and illustrated just how well you handle multiple point of views. The story is always moving forward and flows so fluidly, it is such an incredible read. Report Review
Another great chapter!
And like I said in an earlier review, I am really enjoying your potrayal of the four founders. Each of them are equally compelling but they are so in very different ways. It makes for an engrossing read.
Also, you have now introduced the diadem, cup, locket and sword (in very creative ways, I might add) and I am excited to see what other objects might make an appearance. Really brilliant writing. Report Review
And so the plot thickens. You are really setting this story up for quite an ending. I find myself insanely curious as to what exactly Salazar has planned and what role Rowena will play in it...
All in all, great chapter! And I apologise if my reviews begin to get repetitive but each chapter really is as brilliant as the last. Report Review
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter!
I really feel that the story and characters are taking shape now. Salazar may have been disappointed when he saw Hogwarts Castle but I was thrilled because I am really looking forward to more Ravenclaw. Report Review
I love how original and incredibly well-written this story is!
And I am enjoying the characterisations of the four founders. I like that you have made them your own because so often they are reduced to the traits of their respective house. I also like the way you have included both the cup and the diadem into the story. Report Review
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