I really got into this while reading it! I think you started out well; your description of the library and the books really set the scene for us to fall into. It feels really natural when you read it because of your attention to detail.
The second-person narrative technique isn't something I've read before, or something I've ever used for a whole chapter.
However, I think you've pulled it off really well and it was very effective in capturing Molly's perspective of things, such as her feelings about eating and how she feels about reading - again, all pulled off through excellent description and a wide use of adjectives.
The switch of narrative towards the end with the use of 'she' rather than 'you' changed the tone as it fitted, creating a really mysterious atmosphere about the plot. I'm left with questions, a lot of questions I want filling in from this...what is the potion she's taking, what is the backstory, how did this 'other' Molly come about and what is she going to do?
I'm not normally a reader of Next-Gen stories, but I will definitely try and find time to continue this fic, as I think it's well-written and has an interesting foundation upon which to continue.Author's Response: Thanks! :D I was kinda description-obsessed when writing this (still am, really) so that's why it's so heavy. I'm glad you thought it worked, though!
I've never used second person before this and now I really like it, tbh. It's kinda fun :P It's so good to hear that you think it works and like it - I'm always nervous as to what people think about it, since everything makes sense to me as the author, lol!
Haha, I'm glad you're left with questions! That was my intention... all of those questions will be answered, I promise! ;) Just, you know, maybe not soon... :P
Seriously? Wow, I'm really flattered by that. Thanks so much! That's amazing! :D
Thank you so much for this lovely review - and I'm so happy I've converted you to Next Gen (even if only a little :P)!
Aph xx Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection