Reading Reviews From Member: HappyMollyWeasley
200 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HappyMollyWeasleyBarking Up The Wrong Tree: Chapter 1

14th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. I must say that's it's a pleasure to read and review all these wonderful entries! I don't know how we're going to decide on a winner among them all...

I think you did the most out of your story prompt here. Telling the story through the eyes of the jealous cousin made it even better. Dominique is fantastic with all her character flaws and her jealousy. She's human. I like your bookish Rose too. She's smart and thoughtful. She tries to tell Dominique in a tactful way, but it's no good. It's almost cruel to do what Rose does here, but I think she had it well planned and wasn't doing it on an impulse.

I suppose one could say that you're balancing on the edge to make them too cliché, but for a short next gen story like this I think it's good. We know the characters through the clichés after all, and you don't need to explain a lot about them. And, on the other hand, it would have been a lot more of a cliché story if you had made it a Scorose/Scorbus thing...

I love the feeling in this story. I'm always fond of the Weasley cousins, and I think you did a great work with them here. I really have a soft spot for siblings or cousins interaction.

The ending of this story is absolutely wonderful. This Dominique character is both amusing and interesting. You should write more about her!

Thank you for sharing this with us, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: Hey Molly,

I'm really pleased you liked the fic. I've not written much Dominique before, so it was interesting to try my hand at her and I'm pleased you liked her. I didn't want to go the super-cliche route and have it be a Scorose/Scorbus triangle, so I thought, why not have Dom in the mix to make things interesting?


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Review #2, by HappyMollyWeasleyJarvey: Jarvey

14th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. It's marvellous to read all these lovely stories, and it'll be a tough job deciding a winner amongst them...

I like how you used your story prompt and made an interesting story about it. Somehow you managed to create the right Hogwarts feeling when telling us about the different classes and about the rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Clara Longbottom was a nice detail to include.

Personally I'm not a fan of hate-turn-into-love stories, but I think you managed it quite well, just because you left out the "love" part. Albus is surprised by the kissing, but he doesn't immediately fall in love with Scorpius. He is curious, excited and overwhelmed, but not in love, which makes it more believable. I suppose he must be confused, though. I would certainly be so if I all of a sudden found myself kissing an enemy... I would have loved if you had explored those feelings a bit more.

The end of the story is perfect. Albus answer to Rose is so clever! I'm interested what happened the next Care of Magical Creatures lesson... Are you going to write more about that later on in another story?

Thanks for sharing this with us, and thank you for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: Hey Molly,

Thanks for the kind review. I was a little timid about this story but I am extremely thankful for your words. Albus and Scorpius are interesting to me and I wanted to take a different approach.

I wrote a sequel for another challenge, but it takes place about a year later. If I do another story taking place in the next Care of Magical Creatures Class, I'll let you know!
Thank you for hosting the challenge, it was quite fun!


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Review #3, by HappyMollyWeasleyDiscarded Pillows : Chapter 1

14th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. It's a great pleasure to read and review all these excellent stories!

I like how much we get to know about Albus' and Scorpius' relationship in this story. Rose and Roxanne are saying all the things we need to know, and makes a perfect mix between "showing a and telling" together with Albus' internal monologue. I like Albus' cousins here. They're both more sensible than him and have the guts to tell him so. He definitely needs to hear the truth from them.

I love the interaction between the Potter and Weasley cousins here. You've really managed them to come alive here! Albus is also very well described. We don't get to know very much about Scorpius though. We know he's good-looking, and we know that he's a good friend and Albus' love, but not much about him except from that.

Although I am a true Scorbus shipper, and although I like them to live happily ever after, I think the turning point came a bit too early and too abrupt in this story. I think that Scorpius could have let Albus suffer a little longer... ;-) I would have loved to read a little about what Scorpius had to say about the break up too, instead of just kissing and whatever more... But I'm not complaining about them getting together again, because they're my OTP as you know. :-)

I'd love to read about what happened the morning after... Is there a chance of another one-shot about that?

Thank you for writing this, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


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Review #4, by HappyMollyWeasleyAfternoon Tea: Afternoon Tea

9th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. It's wonderful to read and review all these lovely entries!

I like how this story starts with the breakfast scene, and the little details you tell us about the Malfoy family. (But why does it smell of cocoa when they are drinking coffee? Shouldn't it be coffee beans?) ...and then Draco drops a bomb! I can understand why Scorpius becomes nervous! Imagine having this secret from your grandparents for years...

Draco's words about Paul Nott being single are awesome! I laughed about that. That's a perfect "clueless father" line. :-)

Albus' and Scorpius' interaction is good. You're showing how well they know each other, and that they're important to each other. They have a great relationship, and it shows.

Another good relationship which is shown here is the one between Astoria and Scorpius. She seems like a really good mother. I love the lines "then your grandparents' opinions will be just that - just opinions" and "I can't say that they'll love Al like we do". Both those lines tells us a lot about Astoria, and about the Malfoy family. I'm glad Scorpius has a loving family around him!

Narcissa... She surprises me, but in a good way. I love how you've done all this building up for a cold and unpleasant reaction to Scorpius' boyfriend, and then everything goes well. Albus is a smart boy too!

The thing I like most about this story, however, is the amount of magic in it. It's all too easy to forget to add details about magic. Without magic stories could be set in the Muggle world. A good Harry Potter fic should has some magic added, just like this one. Small things, like Astoria waving her wand to create shadow, which reminds us about where the story is taking place.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: Hi Molly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! :D I'm really glad you liked the story. So, to reply: Thanks for pointing out the cocoa bean thing! Oops! I'll fix that! I'm so glad that you liked the part with Draco being a clueless dad. I love imagining him as a father! I'm sure he would be just so out of his depth. And I am SO happy you liked Astoria! I've never written for her, so this was so much fun. I think Scorpius's parents really would have been great and supportive. I believe in Draco that he could be a good dad, and I like to imagine Astoria as someone kind and supportive. Finally, I'm glad that Narcissa's reaction sat well with you, and I'm happy that the magic in the story was enjoyable to read. Thank you again for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it so much!


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Review #5, by HappyMollyWeasleyBreathe.: breathe.

9th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. I must say that it's a most pleasant task to read and review all these lovely entries!

First I must say that this story is so heartwarming! I love parent-child moments like these, it's just adorable! Scorpius' and Albus' relationship is also beautiful described here. I can tell that they're good for each other. :-)

A tiny detail... Being a December baby doesn't mean that one is among the youngest at Hogwarts, as one have to be 11 at September 1st. At Hogwarts the youngest of every year would be the ones born in August.

Elope and move to Russia... Maybe not very wise for a gay couple... But hopefully things will change in the future (and this story is in fact set in the future). That's a nice thought! ;-)

I like that both Ginny and Harry are so in character. Well done on that!

"Then I wouldn't care if he was the son of Voldemort." This sentence, said by Harry, must be one of the most loving and most beautiful lines I've read in ages. You almost made me cry here. It's understandable that Albus was nervous to tell his parents about Scorpius (although I almost think that he was too nervous...), but Harry's line here must be so comforting and reassuring. It captures a parent's love for their child perfectly.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: I'm glad that you found it heart warming! That's what I was going for, and I'm glad that I was able to get that emotion across to readers.

Ahh, I think the way I've written it might be confusing, but Scorpius is the one who's older and he is the one born in December. That's why he calls Al 'kiddo'. I'll see if there's some way I can make that clearer because I don't want to confuse my readers!

While writing this I tried to make it a really idealistic future in terms of LGBTQA people. Al doesn't really "come out" to his parents and there's no inner turmoil over his feelings. Gay people are more accepted so, yes, maybe things are better in Russia now!

That was one of my favourite lines to write! It came to my out of the blue and I just thought "Yes. This is perfect" and just went with it! As for Al, I did try to write him as being irrationally anxious. I think it added to his character so I'm kind of glad that you got that feeling because that was my intention :)

Thank you so much for the kind words and for creating this challenge! Good luck with the judging - I'm sure it'll be tough!

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Review #6, by HappyMollyWeasleyLover's Spark: Green Moss

7th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. I must say that it's terrific to get to read all these amazing stories!

Your story starts 'in meditas res' which makes it interesting right from the first line. You also provide just enough background to let us understand your characters, but not so much that it becomes boring.

I like Rose and Hugo here, and their bickering. I think they disappeared a bit suddenly though. One or two paragraphs more with them would have been great in my opinion, just to don't rush the story.

Although I like your story (or this first chapter, as I understand that there's more to come!), I think that it's a bit on the short side, or merely a bit rushed, at least after the first introduction part when you're telling us the background.

The tension between Albus and Scorpius is remarkable in the moments leading up to the kiss. You did a really good job with that! I always love adorable scenes like that! I can't wait to read the rest of this story! Thank you for writing this for our challenge!


Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words Molly. When I wrote this, I did those first few lines a few days before anything else, and forgot what I was writing about! I'm pretty sure it swung somewhere completely different in the end.

I might put an edit in for more Rose and Hugo after I get the rest up.

I thought the challenge was excellent - I've never written this pairing before and now I don't know whether I like it better than Rose/Scorpius or not!

Thank you for leaving a review,

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Review #7, by HappyMollyWeasleyA Minor Key.: a terrible misunderstanding.

7th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. We really got so many great entries for this challenge!

I love ad astra's TFWMS storyverse, and I have to say that's it's brave of you to dive right into it with an AU story! Adopting someone else's characters and storyverse is challenging. It's hard to get everything right. (Well... All fan fiction is exactly about adopting someone else's characters I suppose... Anyway...) I think you did a great job with this, because I recognise Lisa's characters, and they still feel alive and true. The tone of your narration is different from hers, but that doesn't bother me. It would be strange otherwise I suppose... (It's funny to have both your stories in this challenge by the way!)

Albus has been worried for a long time, and expressed it "until it was only a formality". Oh, how I know that feeling! You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. And that hurts so much.

Lily dares to say what Albus need to hear, but it's not comforting. Sometimes a sibling can say just these things. Albus knows it too, but I can understand that it hurts. (Oh, poor Albus, he's hurting a lot...)

Rose... I'm so mad at her right now! I don't think I've ever like her again after this. ;)
And Scorpius too. He can't help that he has an addiction, but he still has some responsibilities. He treats Albus so bad, and in the end I can't say anything other than that the breakup was the only right thing to do.

You actually sank this ship to the bottom... It breaks my heart, but I guess every story can't have a happy end. It's a sad and heartbreaking story, but it's very well-written, and it's also believable and on an important subject. Thanks for writing this and for participating in this challenge!


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Review #8, by HappyMollyWeasleyGloria: Gloria

23rd June 2015:
Hi! This is Molly again for our review swap. Thanks for agreeing on yet another swap!

Wow, this was beautiful! But I hadn't expected anything else from your writing. You've got an extraordinary way of writing which makes your stories poetic and beautiful, even when the plot may be sad or cruel. I hope you're writing OF too, because I'm positive your writing style would be much appreciated outside HPFF too.

"One of us will be blackened beyond the night and deep into Hell; the other glorified beyond belief, raised to the right-hand side of God."

This made me think of Jesus Christ Superstar, (Don't ask me why, though...) when the apostles are singing about writing the gospels. Something about letting Judas be the only one to take the blame for what happened. People like good and evil, black and white, right or wrong. So yes, it's true, one would be glorified and the other one "blackened beyond the night". And that's what happened too, wasn't it?

I'm usually not fond of writing in second person, (I absolutely avoid it, if I've got the possibility...), but somehow you've managed to write it in a way that works. To be honest I must tell you that I had read quite a few paragraphs before I even noticed the second person POV, which I suppose proves that the style of writing suits the story well. But if I could have one single wish it still would be to skip the second person writing... ;-)

I like how you're exploring the differences between their dreams and great ambitions, and the fact that they're also humans and lovers. The difference between day and night, public and private.

The love between them is essential to this story, and it's almost palpable. Love, or obsession? It's so strong and consuming that it's scary.

So the decision to duel Gellert was a way for Albus to save him in a way... Well, that's makes sense to me, but I hadn't thought about it in that way before. It's almost to cruel to be true, though. Albus is breaking his heart to save his love. "This betrayal will kill him just as much as it will save him."

Your story left me feeling sad and thinking about love and life. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece with us!


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Review #9, by HappyMollyWeasleyL'optimisme: Meter

20th June 2015:

It's Molly here with the review for our swap. :-)

First I have to say that I'm so very impressed by your writing. It's unusual to come across stories which are of such high quality chapter after chapter. Every chapter of this is well-measured and poetic, and although I recognise the form of it by now you still manage to surprise me and keep my attention to the story. It's a long story, and one could think it would become boring after a while, because the pace is so slow, but you manage to keep every chapter interesting and important.

So it took fifteen years for Albus to finally reach out to Aberforth. It's quite a long time. But then, he had strong reasons. Although I can understand Aberforth too, it's not all Albus' fault that it took so long. During those fifteen years one might think that Aberforth could have became a little softer and contacted his brother too... Well, I'm glad they've found each other again anyway. Albus has been alone for so long, and family is family after all.

I smiled at the mentioning of Aberforth's goats. I hope you'll include his goat related scandal in this story somehow... :-)

I like how you intertwine the Muggle war with the wizarding world. I know it's canon, but it's an aspect which is often forgotten in fanfiction. The worlds are not separate from each other, but depending on each other in many ways. It'll be interesting to see where you'll lead this storyline.


Author's Response: Hey Molly! :) Thank you so much for stopping by again - I'm so so glad you still like this! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! :) It's strange for me writing this story because I'm not used to writing things which are so long, and I struggle sometimes therefore to feel like it's as good? Like I never feel that the later chapters live up to the first ones and I'm always worried they're rubbish in comparison, so thank you so much! It's so great to hear that! :) I really try to pick situations which are important but also able to be extrapolated with regards to the overarching theme of the story, so thank you - I'm so glad you think they're working! :)

Yeah, it's a long time. But in canon they don't have much beyond a sort of working relationship, really - they're definitely not close - but I wanted the initial reach out to happen earlier - but not too early. Losing a sister and feeling like it was your fault is a pretty big thing, after all. And yeah, it's sort of both of their faults - and Gryffindor courage in the end, for Albus to manage it :P And yes! Family is so important! :)

Haha, I have plans for that, actually! It will definitely be mentioned - at least once, if not more. It's one of those moments which isn't necessary to include but I want to, you know? It's such a great bit :P

Thank you so much! :) I really love history and given the canon timeline and how it's meant to intertwine, I really couldn't leave it out at all - and I like including it, too. I think things maybe make more sense that way?

Thank you so so much for the lovely review - it was so great to get, and I'm just so glad you're still enjoying the story! :)

Aph xx

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Review #10, by HappyMollyWeasleyA Long Time Coming: The End

5th June 2015:

This is Molly (Finally!) here with the second of the reviews for our swap. (You just keep adding new stories... This one wasn't here last time I checked, but it seemed interesting, so I thought I should give it a try!)

Tom Riddle Sr is a man I haven't thought about almost at all. He's not pictured very often in fan fiction, at least not in the stories I read.

You did a great job in describing both how surprised and confused he must have been to find himself facing his son, and how scary it must be to realise that his son is some kind of manic. There's no empathy and no reasoning in the younger man's mind.

But Tom Riddle Sr isn't an all too compassionate and loving man himself, I suppose... It's interesting to think about what formed Voldemort. Genes? Neglect? Destiny?

I was surprised that you continued the story beyond his death, and I think you did it very well. First how his soul kind of lingers, still angry and afraid, and then the surprise of being in a strange version of heaven. It's hardly the kind of heaven he imagined anyway...

This one-shot was really different from what I've been reading before, and I think you did a great job here. Things are never black or white, but something in between. There are lots of reasons why things end up one way or another too.


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Review #11, by HappyMollyWeasleyIsabella: A Midnight Surprise

1st June 2015:

This is Molly with the first of the reviews for our swap. :-)

I enjoyed the first chapter of this story, so I was happy to find that you've got another one up already (as well as a new one-shot too! You're so productive!!!).

Seeing that the door just exploded I should say that Isabella's family seems to be a very cool one. I would never calm down enough to make coffee to the visitor/intruder...

The story about her father is both sad and a believable background. How horrible, though! It kind of reminds me about Dumbledore's sister, although it's really not the same after all. I can understand that he wanted to forget all about magic after that.

I can understand Rosa here. She must feel very betrayed, and also afraid here. I don't know how I would have reacted to be honest... Isabella is strong and can surely speak for herself. I love her already!

It's interesting how you've changed some details so that the Mexican system becomes different from the British one. It would be very unlikely if all magical cultures and school systems were the same. It'll be interesting to see how you're going to develop this later on!

I like how you've included the Spanish words in a way that I can understand the meaning, although I don't understand the actual words. The text is more fluent without the asterisks too!


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Review #12, by HappyMollyWeasleySerenity: Serenity

30th May 2015:
Hi Laura! This is Molly with the review for our swap.

First I have to say that this was perhaps the most heartbreaking story I've read in ages. The sad, hopeless feeling I'm left with after reading makes me want to curl up under a blanket and eat chocolate for ever... But it was also a beautiful story, or more so, it was beautifully told. The narrative tone is great, and I feel really close to Padma (who's actually a character I've never given a lot of thought.)

The language is also beautiful, they way you're describing things, and also the way you've divided the story into different parts makes the pace of the story capture me.

You've done a good job with describing the loyalties Padma is drawn between here. Her mother's expectations, her own feelings, her love for Isobel, her longing to be different from who she is...

The saddest thing, (although the ending is pretty sad too...) is that what first was exploring and loving, and what turned into a secret "not dirty, but silent" became exactly dirty and shameful through the eyes of the gossiping boys. What should be beautiful felt like a shame instead, and ruined everything.

Thanks for sharing this story with us, and thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Hey Molly!

Thank you so much for your review! I really, really enjoyed swapping with you. Both of our stories caused quite the heartache, didn't they? Hehe! I'm so glad you mentioned the way I divided the piece - I was sort of tempted to write it as a short story but in the end I kept it as it is. So it's great that it worked! :D

Thanks for such a lovely review ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #13, by HappyMollyWeasleyLearn To Love Again: Stale Firewhiskey And Vomit

29th May 2015:
Hi! It's Molly with the review for our swap. :-)

I'm going to say it right from the start... I'm not a Dramione person, and I rarely chose Dramiones if I got a choice. But I know your writing is good, and I saw this story right on the top of your page, so I wanted to give it a go. It's a good thing to broaden one's horizons once in a while too... So, let's see what we've got here.

Well, imagine to wake up after a rough night, and not remembering anything, but to read about it in the paper! That wouldn't be too nice, would it? I don't envy him at all!

OMG! He's really deep into trouble this time, isn't he? I can't help but feeling sorry for him, even if it was a reckless thing to do... It's good to have a family lawyer, but it seems like Draco has been pushing him a bit too far. And, it's probably just like Finnius says, not easy to find another one. Rehab then... I bet Draco isn't fully prepared for what that will be like.

This was a good start, and I would love to read more of this. I would say that this chapter was a bit on the short side, even for a first chapter, but it was a good one which brought attention to the story.


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Review #14, by HappyMollyWeasleyCost of Redemption: Prologue

29th May 2015:
Hi! It's Molly again, reviewing for our swap.

Regulus is making a difference between killing Muggles and people of "our own". It sounds terrible, and it is terrible, but that's how war works. To make someone a soldier is to get them to forget that people are people, and to make them obey every order without thinking. Ordinary, decent people can do the most cruel things when they are ordered so. A good soldier doesn't think or feel, because when we start feeling and thinking, just like Regulus does here, we're not able to keep doing these things.

Regulus has just woken up, and it is painful to do so, I imagine. He wants to make things right again, to make up for his mistakes. But that's not an easy task.

I think you did great here! This first chapter helps us to get into Regulus mind, and to understand him. It also started in meditas res which let us feel and think right away. I suppose you've more planned out for this?


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Review #15, by HappyMollyWeasleyPending Further Investigation: xii. cross the line [or] don't say the a word

29th May 2015:
As I've already told you, I enjoy this story very much. I actually like it better than the prequel too. The characters are struggling to find a balance between acting as the adults they are, and betraying the youths they recently were. I remember being a young teacher myself when I accidentally let profanities slip out of my mouth. The embarrassment and shame was awful...

The real life Bechdel test... That was a good one! :D

The was you use Holly and Rose here is amazing. Together they show exactly what Brodie says. There is no gold star system. Rose likes sex, and she's not interested in a relationship (for the time being, or permanently. Could be either, and it really doesn't matter in my opinion.). Holly wants an emotional involvement, but she's not interested in sex. No gold stars, it's fine either way.

Teddy... I can only assume that it was a shock for Victoire, if she didn't know anything at all before. Teddy has had some time to think, but to Victoire it might have been totally new. Still, it's not an excuse to say things like that. Teddy need her to be loving and supporting.

"I'm married." "I know." Well, what else can you say...


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Review #16, by HappyMollyWeasleyPending Further Investigation: viii. reality bites [or] disillusionment, thy name is rose

29th May 2015:
Sean and Rose! I didn't see that one coming, but then again... neither did Rose, did she? I suppose she's allowed to have a bit fun, if nothing else. She totally deservers that!

Rose brewing contraception potions for her students! I like that, because it's a sign of actually caring. The rules of only giving the potion for the older students doesn't prevent the younger, but in fact endangers them instead. The Ministry is blind and old-fashioned, which you've shown on several points in this story. (Although legal age of consent varies in different parts of the world it's not unreasonable to believe that teenagers actually do need contraceptions, because that's just the way it is.)


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Review #17, by HappyMollyWeasleyPending Further Investigation: vii. sparks fly [or] things could definitely be worse

29th May 2015:
"You guys would make great parents." Oh, this almost made me cry. It's so true, and I can't help feeling utterly sorry, although I've read Serendipity already... I guess Holly felt a little stupid saying that though. It's so unfair that (male) gay couples have so slim chances for a baby. Female couples could get an insemination, legally and safe (at least where I live, I know it's not the case everywhere!), but that's obviously not an option for them. Anyway... They're still too young, and for now the puppy will do. :-/

"Holly's got a boy-frieeend!" This made me smile and giggle. I am SO rooting for this!!!


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Review #18, by HappyMollyWeasleyPending Further Investigation: vi. the rollercoaster [or] love is a battlefield

29th May 2015:
Hi again!

This story only gets better and better, and I just can't stop reading. (But I had to take a break to get back and review the chapters I've read all too fast because I was impatiently wanting more or because I was reading on my phone... So here I am!)

I love the interaction between Albus and Scorpius in this chapter. We got to see them at their best, and at their worst. Just like they are! I love how they've both grown and matured since TFWMS, but that they're still the same characters. (Not only them, but the other characters too, but they're my favourites.)

The loophole in the law is awesome! It's believable, and I'm prepared to accept this as canon. Dean and Seamus! :)

Ginny and Astoria are great, and I love the dynamics in that part of the story. I hope we'll see more of the Mums!


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Review #19, by HappyMollyWeasleyDon't Forget Me: My Hero

28th May 2015:

It's Molly here with the review for our swap! Oh, this was angst when it is at its best! How utterly sad and terrible, how did you come up with this? Poor Albus!

There must have been a lot of background and lots of history which can't be told in 500 words, but you let us guess and think, and I'm amazed by how quickly you could draw this portrait of not only Albus, but of James, and of the rest of the family.

I can't decide if Albus is sad and loving his brother so much that he offers to take the blame for such a horrible crime, or if I'm angry with him for not standing up for himself. A bit of both, actually... Because I don't think James will ever save him.

Or, - terrible thought -, what if it's all in Albus' mind? What if he's the real killer, with a twisted mind who blames an innocent James? The more I think about this, the scarier it gets...

It's scary, and a horrible storyline, but it's a great story! Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Hey Molly!

I wanted to write a 500 word story, and all I knew was that I wanted it to be dark and next gen. Before I knew what was happening, it was about Albus in jail and James being the one who is the reason for him being there.

There is a lot more information, including why James killed Rose. But I'm thinking of making that into a short story.

Thank you so much for your kind and amazing words! I was worried that I wouldn't get much across in just 500 words, you don't realise just how many you use until you're trying to write a certain amount.

:O o that would be such a twist! And James won't save him, he'll just keep giving empty promises that he'll keep breaking. Poor Albus.

Thank you so much for swapping as well and for your amazing review! I love it so much! :D

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Review #20, by HappyMollyWeasleyI'll Go With You: I'll Go With You

28th May 2015:

It's Molly here with the review for our swap. :)

A good thing with these review swaps is that we get to read stories we probably would have missed otherwise. I'm not a Harry/Hermione shipper, so I chances are slim that I would have read this one on my own. I tend to ship Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione too much to ever bother with stories which contradicts that.

I like how you included Ron and his history with Hermione here, but I would love to have a similar explanation of why Harry isn't with Ginny. Did they broke up, or did they never got together again after the war?

Your writing is good, and as I understand you've tried extra hard with your descriptions in this story. You're great at describing things, but I would say that it sometimes feels like it is a little too much, as if you've stressed it a bit, if you know what I mean?

Wow! That's what I would call a love scene...! Say no more... ;-)

I must say that I was most surprised by how this story ended. I suppose Harry wants to be young, and live life. He deseves it, but what about Hermione?

Thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll post your review tonight.

I'm glad that this got you to read something you wouldn't normally, as getting assigned this banner made me write something I wouldn't normally! I'm not a shipper and actually really dislike writing major characters, so this was a challenge for me on many levels.

It's good feedback that sometimes I pushed the descriptions a bit to far. I suppose that for the purpose of this exercise it's better than not far enough, but it's obviously something I'll need to keep working on.

I also tried really hard to "show, not tell," for this story, so I really didn't want to spell out Harry's emotional state, but hoped that it would show through in his words and actions. I felt the need to give a nod to the fact that Ron and Hermione weren't together, but I hoped that Harry's emotional impotence would be explanation enough for why he wasn't with Ginny. And by connection, why he did not feel obligated to stick around for Hermione.

Haha, I'm glad that the love scene made an impact. That was another new thing for this story - I've never written anything more in depth than a brief reference, so I'm glad that my first attempt was powerful.

Based on your review, it seems that I did not accomplish everything that I had hoped with this story, but I really did approach it as a writing exercise, so that's okay. Your feedback was definitely helpful and gave me things to work on.

Thanks for the swap!

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Review #21, by HappyMollyWeasleyCygnus Black III and His Three Daughters: Frustrated Morning

28th May 2015:
Hi Kenny!

It's Molly with the review for our swap. :) You've been so productive lately, how do you have the time for all this writing?

I like the start of this story. Harry and Ginny don't care too much about what Ginny's mother would think, and I suppose that's just like most teenagers would do. The transition from the start of the story, to the story of the Blacks works fine too.

The history about the Black family is interesting. I've been thinking about writing about the Black sisters myself, but I haven't yet. The differences between the three sisters are so many, and so important. Maybe Bellatrix was cruel just from the beginning, as you write her here, or maybe something happened to her when she was growing up...?

If I could give you one piece of advise on this story it is that I feel that it's too much information for such a short text. I get a little overwhelmed and confused by it, and I have to read slowly to take it all in. But the story itself is good, and I like how you included a lot of characters, like the Longbottoms. You certainly got material for a longer story if you wanted to elaborate this.

Thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Thank you Molly for stopping by. Yeah, I'm in the mood for writing, :) thanks to the forums, the story challenge!

You got to the right point. I'm wondering whether I should add more chapters for this. The first chapter is like a summary. Maybe I'll add more chapters from the point of each child of Cygnus Black later.

I'm eager to read your Black sisters story. I reckon you can 'cause you're bringing up your children, so from your experience, you can write more interesting one.


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Review #22, by HappyMollyWeasleyIvy Manor: Ivy Manor

28th May 2015:
Hi Kenny!

I like how this story turned out! You've really done a great work here. It was also fun to try to beta read it for you, thanks for giving me that opportunity.

I like the thought of Harry trying to mend old wounds by visiting places and remebering things from his years of fighting Dumbledore. I can imagine him doing it a lot after the war, as a part of his healing process. There's a reason for the epilogue to be so much later than the story I suppose. Harry might very well need those nineteen years to heal and to feel happy again. Visiting Frank Bryce's grave was perhaps one of those things.


Author's Response: Yeah, Molly, your beta helped me a lot. The process was enjoyable. This one-shot is like a co-operated work. :)

You have a great insight for this. Yeah,this trip with Ginny was a healing process for Harry. I thought of the idea to let Harry visit the place where Frank Bryce was murdered by Voldemort ,which is a lament for the brave muggle.

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Review #23, by HappyMollyWeasleyFind My Way: Ignorant

27th May 2015:
Friends! Friends? Friends... Well, I suppose that'll do. For now, that is. I'll settle with them being friends, for now.

But, actually, Julie, this was an amazing chapter! This was exactly what I needed to read, and I totally enjoy the tingling feeling in my body and the butterflies in my stomach. I love scenes like the one in the library when Scorpius' feelings are out in the open, but we don't know yet what Albus' answer will be. You really made that scene almost unbearable long (But you won't hear me complaining on this!), Madam Pince was perfect!

Albus and Scorpius have very different support (or lack of support) from their families. The way Scorpius thinks about Albus' story of his parents' rainbow sweets is sad. Every kid should get rainbow sweets from their family when they're coming out... But then, Albus makes me sad too. He is seriously thinking that nobody would fancy him, just because he's blind... Poor boy.

I love every chapter of this, and I'm sorry that I'm just fangirling, because I simply can't find anything critical to say about this story.

Molly, the fangirl ;-)

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Review #24, by HappyMollyWeasleyPending Further Investigation: v. the proverbial boot [or] the only way is up

27th May 2015:
Oh Lester! You've really got a mess to deal with now... You need to swallow your pride and ask for help... Everybody need a little help sometimes, you know!

Lester has always been the one of your characters I haven't been able to relate to as well as the other ones int TFWMS, but he really gets me here. Poor thing, to be so brooke, and yet so proud, and to be struggling this much.

And Albus, Albus... He's just awesome here. Very much in fact as he is (much later of course!) when he's determined to adopt his boys in your recent story. He knows what he wants, he doesn't hesitate, and he does what must be done. I simply love him. (I would have married him, if he isn't already marrying Scorpius...)

Molly, the fangirl. ;)

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Review #25, by HappyMollyWeasleyAfter: One.

25th May 2015:
Happy Birthday!

I thought I would leave you a review to wish you a happy birthday. (But I'm not sure why I picked such a sad story for a birthday review...? Strange choice, I'm sorry about that!)

I love this story. It's so sad, and you told it so well. I think Dumbledore said the most stupid thing here. "Time heals all pain." I don't think it's true at all, just like Amos says. It changes though.

I think that you covered a lot in this short one-shot. We got to know what happened to Cedric's parents, and how different they reacted. I like how you don't bring any happy ending or smooth soloutions here, but leaves us with their grief and their misery.

The one thing I would like to add though, is a longer perspective. Six months is a very short time in the process of grieving a loved one, and even more when it comes to your child. I would have loved to get a glimpse on Amos' life six years, or even sixty years later...

I'm ususally not very fond of stories told in second person, but you did it very well. I had read half of the story before I even noticed it, so I suppose you made it work!

Thanks for sharing this story with us, and once again, Happy Birthday!


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