Oh, am I first to leave a review?! :-)
I like this short story. I'm not very into the Marauders era, but when I do read it I like James/Sirius. I love how you describe James's mixed up feelings of love, jealousy and confusion. He doesn't know what he wants, and yet he does. I guess lots of teenagers have felt like he does some time or another.
Despite the shortness you give us a lot of information of James's feelings and about how the friends are interacting. It would be interesting to know how much of this Lily knows too? Probably nothing, I guess...
I like your style of writing too. It is a good mix of common language and poetic feeling. That's rare!
Over all: Great job! :-)Author's Response: You left a review just after it was validated. That's fantastic timing. :D
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I've never actually read a James/Sirius before, and I've certainly never written one - I generally view James as completely heterosexual. But anyway.
I tried to make this as much pure feeling/thought as possible.
I don't actually know how much Lily knows. I'll leave it up to you to decide.
Thank you so much for this review! Report Review
Hello! This is HappyMollyWeasley here with your requested review! Thank you for asking, and I'm sorry it took so long time!
I like this first chapter. I have not read many "another magical school"-stories before, and I have to admit that I wouldn't start reading it on my own.
I like your style of writing. It is both fun and easy to read, but it doesn't seem too shallow.
You have made this school rather alike Hogwarts, but with some differences. I'm guessing that you will focus more on the differences in the future chapters.
I found a small spelling error: Snogging instead of snoging.
All in all I think this is a very good first chapter. :-)Author's Response: Hehe, yeah. It's snogging :) Don't really know where my head was on that one :D
And yep, Bucklebee's was created by someone who went to Hogwart's and that is why it is quite similar.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a review, it means alot to me :D
~AdeleShare Report Review
Hi! This is HappyMollyWeasley here with your review. I am sorry that you had to wait for this review.
This story is very light-hearted, and I understand that you have not intended to make it too deep and analytic. However, I like the parts where you go a bit bleow the surface, like when you let Rose think about how Albus have developed from the scared eleven-year-old to the person he is now. I would love some more of those reflections. I think you could do it without destroying the feeling of the story.
The cheerful bright tone in your narration is great, but I do feel that the pace is a bit too fast. It moves fast, and I find it hard to focus on the main story plot as there are contantly new thoughts and new things that happens. Does it make sense?
Thank you for requesting! :-)Author's Response: Hey there! I apologise in return for the lateness of this reply! :(
I tend to write quite serious stories so this is definitely a change for me! Hopefully I'll be able to go more under the surface in later chapters as you said :)
That makes total sense, I'll work on the pacing in later chapters!
Thanks for the helpful review! Report Review
This is HappyMollyWeasley here with your review.
This is a story that is truely different from most of the stories here. I was a little bit surprised by it, but I think it is great to find that not all next-gen stories are of that typical "sweet seventeen, not a worry in the world except for the boy to like me" sort. ;-)
I like the poetic language you use, and the rather abrupt (intentionally, I think?) change to everyday language. By those changes you describe how mixed up an confused Rose really is. She is torn between her inner chaos and horror and the ordinary world around her.
It is hard to grasp what have happened to her, and how she ended up like this, but it is easy to understand how she is feeling at this point.
I like the suggestive parts in italics. Creepy, but well-written.
Overall I have to say that this is a story that I will remember, and that you have done a great job with it. :-)Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing!
I'm glad it was different! You know, I do like those well-written "sweet seventeen, last year at Hogwarts" stories, but I like to do something different, something artsy.
Yes, that is definitely intentional - it's to show the dichotomy between Rose's situation and emotional turmoil and the fact that everyone else's lives go on. I'm so glad you caught onto the inner chaos and horror of her life - such a wonderfully perceptive reviewer! I love it!
Yes, it is hard to grasp and intentionally so - victims don't just tell you what happened to them, not most, anyway. They are so utterly confused and desperate - that's what I was trying to convey.
Thank you so much! I do hope you enjoyed the read, and I really appreciate the lovely review! :) Report Review
Oh, how sad, and yet how beautiful. I know the feeling of admiring and loving someone from a distance, and the feeling of knowing that is is another girl's man I'm in love with. (It was many years ago now, but I still know the feeling.) and I can imagine how mixed up it must feel when that girl is someone close to you and you can't allow yourself to feel jealous and perhaps even hate.
You have written this in a way that makes me feel that I know the characters well, even if it is a short one-shot. I often feel that it takes some time to get into a story, but this one got my attention at once. Well done! :-)Author's Response: Hey, thanks for being my first review!
I definitely do feel bad for Rose, in a way, because she honestly feels like she 'deserves' Scorpius after all the work she put into 'learning' him. On the other hand, though, obsession can very quickly become toxic. It must be hard for her to hide that from Lily, though, in her effort to be a good cousin.
It's great that you feel like you got to know the characters. It's only my second time writing next-gen, and I'm glad you liked it :)
Thanks for your very sweet review!
-Amanda Report Review
This is HappyMollyWeasley here with your review! I like this first chapter. It was easy to start reading, and the beginning of the chapter is really good. You write detailed, and it shows that you are a really talented writer.
I found the second part of this chaper a bit rushed, however. I feel like there is too much background information pressed into a relatively short text. It becomes more of an overview or summary, and I felt that I lost some of the interest I felt from the beginning.
Considering how good the start of the chapter really is, I think that you might want to either save some of the background information for later chapters, or else add some more text that makes it seem less rushed.
I liked the part about her father and his stories. It made me think about Luna in a way; motherless, dreaming, alone...
Overall I think that this was a good chapter, and as I said, especially the start of the chapter is excellent. :-)Author's Response: Thank you so much for doing this. You've officially made me blush. I'll look at fixing that first chapter. I'm not good at slowing down stories.. I'm a go go go person lol.
Thank you again. It was really appreciated. Report Review
Oh, this was a really funny one-shot! I didn't really know what to expect when I started to read it, but you managed to surprise me! It is hilarious! :-)
I've never realised the similarities betwwen Gilderoy Lockhart and Nearly-Headless Nick, but I guess they are more alike than one usually think?! The shameless self-plugging and name-dropping is great.
The line "in addition to actually having a nose" made me laugh out loud! :-) I loved the comment for the Snilly fans too!
Well, what can I say more than that I'll be rushing right away to Flourish and Blott's to buy the book? And I'm waiting for the film version as well!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!
Nick is a lot like Lockhart now that you mention it, but I hope he wouldn't stoop to stealing people's memories.
Thanks again! Report Review
I love this chapter! What an unexpected turn of events! But couldn't they just have kissed at the end? No, I'm kidding, take your time, but I'm so impatient... I want them to get together! ;-)Author's Response: Yey, I'm glad ^^ Was it unexpected? I hope it was. I know many were hoping it to happen, but I hope I still managed to surprise some of you d:
HAha, quite many things need to happen before that, so you'll just have to practice your patiense a little longer d:
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Oh, I get the feeling that this will be a really good story! I like this first chapter very much! :-)Author's Response: Thank you. Hope you enjoy the rest of it! :) Report Review
I like this story so far! I haven't read many teen pregnancy stories, but I'll give it a try. ;-)
I can relate to Rose's feelings of horror or even guilt. I remember how I felt exactly like that many years ago when I thought that I might be pregnant (which I wasn't). I had thought that every one else could get pregnant by mistake, but not me. I thought (quite stupidly) that I was too smart, well-behavied and studious for that. And I remember telling my mum, who wasn't upset about the possibility of me being pregnant, but she was upset because I thought that I was too smart to be pregnant by mistake. :-) She said something like "It happened to me and to your grandmother. Do you think we are stupid then?"
I wonder if Rose would say anything to Hermione? And I doubt that Herminone would react as my mum did.
It will be interesting to read the next chapter! :-) Report Review
Oh, I love every chapter of this! I can't wait to see how everything will turn out eventually. I guess James knows something that Lily doesn't... I like how he reacted towards Scorpius. :-)Author's Response: James knows a lot that Lily doesn't :P
Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad that you like it so far. ^_^ --Jenna Report Review
Oh, I just love every chapter of this story! And I still can't decide between Joshua and James. Joshua seems so perfect and flawless. He is too good to be true, but I guess that he'll show some imperfection sooner or later... It will be interesting to read how Gwen and Kat are going to bond. I sense trouble already...Author's Response: Thanks ♥
Yeah, he does have flaws too. They're just not showing yet. But I can't tell you what they are yet (x
Haha, we'll see d: The next chapter is almost done! Report Review
I was so glad to find that there was a new chapter up! I've said it before, this is really the best WIP on the archives right now!
I was hoping for James to say something in this chapter, but I guess I'll have to wait a little longer... And I was hoping for Gwen to say something when James asked her about her feelings.
I loved this chapter, and I can't wait for the next one! :-)Author's Response: Aww, you really are too kind! Thank you so much ^^
Haha, yep. This is after all chapter 13 and I'm aiming for 40 chapters... so she won't be revealing her feelings for a long time d:
Glad you loved it! The next one is almost done! Report Review
I love this story so far! Poor Lily, and poor Scorpius...! I can't wait to read about the dinner party! :-)Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^ --Jenna Report Review
Oh, what an interesting turn of events! Things are developing quite fast here...
I'm impatiently waiting for your next chapter already! :-) Report Review
I like this story so far! Albus/Scorpius is my favourite ship, so I am happy to find a new good story about them!
I like how you have avoided the usual nex gen chliches, but instead chosen your own way! Very good! Report Review
Hi! This is HappyMollyWeasley here with your very belated review. I am sorry, I know it was ages since you asked me for a review!
I like this first chapter very much. It is a very good beginning, which captured me from the start. Sometimes I have trouble reading about an OC as a main charachter, at least in the first chapter, but you made me interested in your OC at once.
The feeling I got from this first chapter is that this story will be a high quality story with a well planned plot. I hope that I am right! ;-)
Over all I can't really find anything that needs to improve. Good job! :-)Author's Response: thank you so much for taking the time and reviewing :)
This review actually made my day! The plot actually is really planned out, I've already written the ending and I've got a whole notebook written out for the timeline of everything...the problem now is just forcing myself to sit down and properly write everything out haha
thank you again for the review :) :) Report Review
Thank you for re-requesting! I am sorry that this review is so belated. I know it is ages since you asked me for this review...
I like the feeling I got from reading this chapter. I remember how it felt to be a teenager and to meet up with my friends after the summer holidays. New beginnings, wishes, hopes... You have captured that well!
It is a good thing that you fully include Peter in the story. He was their friend, just as much as any else. Sometimes he is skipped out in fanfiction, but if one doesn't include him from the beginning, you somehow reduce his betrayal.
Your chapter is easy to read, it captures my interest as a reader, and you write humourously. Over all a good start! :-)Author's Response: No worries about the "late" review, I don't mind at all!
I totally agree about Peter, so I'm so glad you are noticing his inclusion! I am planning on giving him more one-on-one scenes with Rora to help flesh out his characterization and presence in the story too.
Thank you so much for the feedback! :) Report Review
Thank you for re-requesting! I am sorry that this review is so belated. I know it is ages since you asked me for this review...
I like how you have described George's feelings in this chapter. He is so cute with those clueless emotions of wanting to protect Katherine.
I also enjoyed that you have included moments from POA from their point of view. Are you going to let them interact more with Harry, Ron and Hermione later on, or are you sticking to your main focus of Katherine and her friends? I guess I'll see...
This chapter flows well and I liked it. It was rather slow, but not too slow. I wonder how much Fred has figured out about George...Author's Response: Thanks for your review and sorry for the late response! (it's school I tell ya! School!)
Thank you I find it hard to write from a male perspective. I mean I'm always scared of making them sound like girls :P
Yes there will be more interaction with Harry and co!
You'll see what Fred knows later on. :) Again sorry for responding so late XD Report Review
Hi, this is HappyMollyWeasley here with your review.
I've never read a Narcissa story before, but I think she is an interesting character, so this was a good opportunity to try this. I like how you describe Narcissa as a feeling, thinking and warm person. She doesn't have to be a cold hearted hard woman as she is sometimes pictuered. I love the scene where she is crying onto Lucius's shoulder. How sweet and adorable!
I would have liked to get a little more details about how their friendship led to love. Maybe a few flashbacks, just to see how Lucius and Narcissa interacted?
Oh, poor Narcissa, to see how her husband changes in front of her eyes, and to hope that her unborn child would be the cure to this... And then to find out that he has another woman! And to find out that he was a Death Eater in the same time. What a shock to have all this on the same day!
Over all I like this story, but the pace is a little bit on the fast side, I think. You have lots of good ideas, enough to make this one-shot to a chaptered story if you wanted to. Either that, or "kill your darlings" and focus only on a few of the themes here. There are a lot to choose from: Jealousy, love, expecting a baby, the dullness of the marriage, the betrayal...
The ending was good. This could explain quite a lot about Draco too, I think! :-)Author's Response: Hey!
First of all thank you for your kind words :) I am glad that you liked the way I described Narcissa, especially since it was a new territory for you. The crying on the shoulder is perhaps a little cliche but I love that scene too xD
That is a good suggestion, I might include some flashbacks when I edit the story :)
I know right, it was so heartbreaking, what Narcissa experienced.
Hmm I agree the story is a little fast paced, but I am usually a writer who finds trouble writing one idea per chapter, I prefer to put in my ideas in a mix together :) I will see though about turning this into a chaptered story.
Thanks a lot for reading & reviewing! Glad you liked the ending too!
This story is beautifully written. You caught my attention from the very first paragraph. Oh, how it must hurt him to go through the transformation into a wolf each month. I think the picture of Sirius being the only one who dared to be with him during that time is believable. Sirius was indeed very brave, boarding to reckless.
Oh, poor Remus! I wonder how much Tonks knows, or guesses, about his feelings towards Sirius? I would have loved to see some more interaction between Remus and Tonks to get their relationship right. I guess that I would have loved to read more about Sirius and Remus too.
This is a sad story, obviously, but it's also very beautiful. I love your style of writing, and I like this one-shot a lot!Author's Response: Hey there! I apologize for taking so long to respond!
I'm glad the very first scene caught your attention, because I worked hard on it. It's great that you picked up on my hints about their friendship and the similarities they shared.
Several people have commented that they wanted to see more Remus/Tonks, but for me, this story wasn't really about them. I definitely wouldn't rule out the possibility of writing a Remus/Tonks later, or even another Remus/Sirius from Sirius's perspective!
Thanks for your very kind review :)
-Amanda Report Review
As I started to read this chapter I got still more confused. Why is she living with a bunch of dancers? Are they all wizard dancers?
We got to know a little more about this Guardian thing, but I'm still curious. I picture it's quite different from Aurors? Especially since she writes novels to earn money (!)
I like the interaction between Hermione and Jamie. The dialogue is great, and we get to know them a little bit.
OMG, what a creepy Halloween party... And that Richard seems to be someone to watch carefully. I guess that we'll be seeing more of Aidan later on, too? Okay, there are obviously still lots of mysteries here, now adding the vampire theme too. I guess I'll just have to keep reading to find out. ;-)
Your writing is good, and your story has a good pace and is interesting. But I would like to get some background information in the next few chapters. Why is Hermione there? Has she left her old life completely? Why? How does she feel about it? How old is she now? What is a Guardian?
It will be interesting to find out where you are taking this story in your later chapters. :-)Author's Response: Thank you for the insightful review. I am glad that you are finding the story interesting. I obviously need to go back and clarify quite a few things during my edits this week. The reason for living with the dancers, one is because of the cheap rent and two the large living room that makes practicing much easy. I guess the reasons that I gave in the story wasn't clear enough so I will make sure to fix that.
You brought up a lot of very good questions and I thank you for that because now I know what areas I need to work on to make this story better.
We will be seeing more of Richard, and Aiden as the story goes along. The incident at the party will also become quite important to the story line as the next chapter unfolds. Report Review
Hi! It's HappyMollyWeasley here with your requested review!
I'm glad you asked me for a review, because I don't usually read this kind of stories, and I'd like to broaden my horizons a little. I love all the canon ships, so I'm both a little disturbed by the thought of Hermione with someone else, but also a bit curious. I also very seldom read anything from this genre, so this will be a nice change from my usual romance stories... :-)
At first I felt confused. Where is she, when is this? I still don't understand that fully, but I guess that it will become apparent later on? I like the idea of Hermione as a writer, and I also like that her magical skills are strong. You show her thoughtful and compassionate sides too, which is good. I picture that the term "Guardian" will be more explained in the later chapters?
As I normally read canon (or close to canon) stories I miss the well-knows surroundings and characters, as we so far only have met Hermione, and that makes it a little difficult for me to fully appreciate this first chapter. I guess that I would have liked it more if I read it as original fiction. Don't get me wrong here, I do like your style of writing, and this is a good chapter, but I found it a bit AU-ish.
Still, I was drawn into the story and I want to read the next chapter to find out more... I'll leave you another review there.Author's Response: Thank you for the review. The idea of the Guardian will be explained more with each chapter. I was worried that if I explained it completely in the first chapter it would take away some of the mystery of the story that I was going for.
Thank you for pointing out the areas in which you were confused on. I will be sure to make the area and the when more clear when I work on the edits this week.
This trilogy is meant to be quite Au-ish. The only probably cannon thing I was going to stick to was Hermione's characterization.
Thank you for all the insight I greatly appreciate all the comments. Report Review
Okay, I'm tagging you again from the review the person above you in common room.
I guess this chapter gives us a hint where the story will head. I liked this chapter too, and I really feel for Harry and the others.
At first I was a little disturbed of how Harry seemed to be so rational and calm, despite the circumstances. I thought he was a little cold until it became apparent that he had it all bottled up inside. Poor Harry, he has had enough of that already...
I like Percy here. First he really could show how he can be formal and authoritive, and then we got to see the emotional Percy too. I'm glad that you let him be the one who had the revenge. I think he loves his family just as much as anyone else, and it's not hard to imagine how he could have been blinded by hate when his sister was killed.
It's a nice thought that Harry could have some kind of relationship with his parents through their portraits. And Dumbledore's words at the end of the chapter... What can I say?
Over all I think that this is a great story, and I'm glad I started reading it. (I'm normally too caught up with romance stories to ever notice anything else...)Author's Response: Hello, again!
Harry was able to wall off his grief and focus on the trial. It was a natural defense mechanism, but also one that prevented him from ever really coming to terms with his loss, as you'll see throughout the story.
Percy was very tricky to write for this chapter, so I'm truly thrilled that you liked him. Trying to hit that spot where it's clear that he's troubled by what he did even though he believes it was the right thing was hard.
I've always loved the idea of magical portraits, so I decided to make a lot of use of it throughout the story.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hi! I'm sorry that you had to wait for this review. As I said, it was late at night, and I couldn't finish what I've started... Well, here it is, anyway. :-)
I loved the prologue and the second (first) chapter, so I had quite high expectations for this one. And you didn't disappoint me. I can see that you're a really talented writer. You get me interested in the story from the start, and I want to keep reading.
I like how you tell us quite a lot about the family members in those little snippets of information, and without overloading the chapter of it.
Hermione and Ron were bickering just in the rigth way. (They are very hard to write right, judging from most fanfiction I've read...)
Something that I didn't like very much was that there were so many refereces to Muggle technics. I agree that magical glass was a good way of explaining it, but I still don't agree on Muggle technology in the wizarding word. I don't think their children would play Tv games for instance.
I liked the interaction between Harry and Hermione, as well as between Harry and Rose. It's quite natural for Harry and Rose to be close, seeing how close he is to both her parents.
And then I got to know a little bit about what happened to Ginny, and we get to see how hard it still is for Harry to cope with it...Author's Response: Hello, again!
I'm glad you liked the way that I wrote Hermione and Ron. It is difficult to get them to sound just right, and I've struggled with it off and on throughout the story.
I appreciate your preference, but to me, I felt like the story needed some muggle touches here and there to make it seem realistic. The main characters are no longer sequestered away at Hogwarts. They are out in the real world where magical people make up only a small fraction of the population, plus the story is set many years into the future. In some senses, technology is going to have come a long way toward catching up with magic, which is one of the conflicts underlying the plot.
Harry and Rose share a very close relationship in this story. You'll see the two of them together again at a key moment.
Harry still has a very hard time coping with Ginny's death. A lot more of the picture emerges in the next chapter.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
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