Reading Reviews From Member: HappyMollyWeasley
214 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HappyMollyWeasleyAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: Brooms and troubles

9th October 2015:
Hi Chiara!

This is Molly with the first of the reviews for our swap. :-)

First I’d like to say that I like your story idea very much, and I can see that you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working out all the details. I’m not always a fan of AU stories, but this kind of AU suits me fine! It is an interesting idea to explore what could have happened if Neville was the Boy Who Lived. I’ve read a couple of stories on other sites about this, but I have to say that yours is much better, at least so far. I think you’ve found the perfect mix between using the canon story and adding your own things.

In the beginning I was confused about the identity of Jimmy Portman, and also about his father. I couldn’t work it out (well, I still can’t…), but the way you’ve written it makes the reader understand that it’s intentional, and that we’ll get the answers eventually. The chapter about Peter lurking around listening to James and Sirius only added to the mystery, and made me even more interested.

It can’t be easy for Jimmy to feel torn between his friends. House Rivalry or not, that’s not a very nice thing of his Gryffindor friends to make him do. But we know Ron, he’s always see things in black or white, so that’s actually quite in character for him. We don’t see much of Ron here, and if we didn’t know about him from canon we would hardly know him at all… I’d like to see more interaction between him and Jimmy. The lack of interaction between those two makes it hard to get why Jimmy does divide his time between Neville and him…

But on the other hand… The interaction between Jimmy and Neville makes it equally hard to understand why they’re friends at all. They’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks, but they’re bickering and Jimmy dwells a lot on Neville’s bad sides. It made me wonder if Jimmy likes Neville at all, or if he just pities him?

I’m glad you wrote the Midnight Duel scene the way you did, because it explained a few things about the relationship between the boys, and also added some interaction between all of them. It’s going to be interesting to see what’s going to happen next, and how their friendship is going to evolve.


Author's Response: Hi, Molly!
Welcome! :)
And sorry if I haven't got to your first review yet... I've read the first two chapters yesterday and I enjoyed them a lot! Hopefully II'll manage to leave your reviews this weekend!!!

Oh, it's good to know that you enjoy the idea. I'm not the biggest fan of AU either (don't know what my muse was thinking...), but I'm glad you think this story is working so far. And that the balance between canon and new elements seems to work too. It's the most difficult part to do...

I wanted Jimmy's and Peter's story to be misterious and a bit confused. I perfectly know what happened, though. I'm just not sure how to include it yet.

I can understand your perplexities about Jimmy's friendship with both Ron and Neville. I probably should've included Ron more... I just wanted to focus on Neville, since their friendship is much of a focal point in the story. I have a lot of elements to work with, and give all of them the right weight is really hard...

And speaking of Neville... Jimmy does care a lot for him! They've grown very close in a very short time and they fight a lot simply because they want the best for each other. Plus, Jimmy has a little flaw... He's just a tiny bit touchy and colleric... And stubborn... (just look at the way he's acting with his father) And Neville is not so different, so it's only natural for them to clash a little. But they do love each other, and their bond is sincere.

The relationship among the boys is surely going to change. I'm happy you liked the midnight duel scene.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts on what comes next! Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely, thoughtful review!
Much love,

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Review #2, by HappyMollyWeasleyHighland Is Calling: Highland Is Calling

6th October 2015:
Hi Kenny!

Thanks for swapping with me. My children are sleeping now, so here I am with all the time in the world... Well, maybe not, but you get the picture. ;-)

Wow! The way you handled the Alphabetically challenge is amazing! I must admit that I'm impressed! I've been thinking of trying it too, but haven't... You mangaged to start each paragraph with the next letter, but without letting it disturb the flow in the story. And the thing is that it somehow adds to the story.

And I must say that I'm also impressed by how much you've improved your writing. I know that you've worked really hard, and it has certainly paid off!

As always, your descriptions are beautiful and I can really visualise the Scottish views before me. Somehow the scenery adds to the sad but also hopeful feeling I get from reading your story. I like how you've used your music interest in this story too. It feels authentic.

I couldn't help notice that you've written a sequel to this story. I think I need to read more after this... Are you up for another swap? (But as always, I tend to be quite slow... I said that my children were sleeping, but Surprise! two of them woke up while I was writing this... ;-)


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Review #3, by HappyMollyWeasleyResisting Ardour: Most Days, He Was Okay.

6th October 2015:
Hi! This is Molly tagging you for the Review Tag thread on the forums.

There are not many George/Angelina stories on the archives, or at least not as many as it should be in my opinion. It’s a great pairing, and it’s canon, although we doesn’t see anything of it in the books.

I like how you’ve concentrated this story about George’s mixed feelings of guilt and attraction. He’s not in an easy position, being attracted to his dead twin’s ex-girlfriend. I’ve thought quite a lot about George and Angelina, and how their relationship developed after Fred’s death. Would they have married if Fred had survived? Did they seek comfort from each other? Or was they actually in love from the beginning? I like that you did it perfectly clear in this story that Fred and Angelina had broken up, and also that it was quite some time before he died. That makes things at least a bit easier for George and Angelina…

Angelina is more sure of herself than George is. But then again, losing an ex-boyfriend, although terrible, is probably nothing compared to losing a twin. I think you did a great job in describing how George is missing his dead brother by telling us about he watches himself in the mirror. As being an identical twin he must face the picture of his brother every day. I don’t know what that makes to people…

The picture of Fred with two ears in the mirror right at the end of this story was perfect in my opinion. That’s a nice inclusion that reassures us about the bright future.

Thanks for sharing this story with us!


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Review #4, by HappyMollyWeasleyFind My Way: Fingertips

6th October 2015:
Scorpius has good friends who know him well… There’s no way of keeping things secret from friends like that. :-)

Oh! They’re holding hands! I’m melting!

I loved the “friends thing isn’t going to work” thing. And Scorpius immediately jumping into conclusions…

The part about Albus feeling Scorpius’ face is beautifully written. And so they finally kissed! Finally!

Molly :-)

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Review #5, by HappyMollyWeasleyuh-lone: Adjective: Separate, Apart, or Isolated from Others

6th October 2015:
Hi Emily!

This is Molly again, with the second of the promised two reviews.

Marauders isn’t my favourite era, although I know that there are a few good Marauders fics out there. I think I’m not the one to fully appreciate this story just because of the era. But one thing I do like about this era is in fact Sirius’ and James’ friendship, and the fact that Sirius was being kicked out and lived with the Potters. So I’m not going to complain about the subject you’ve chosen here. ;-)

Sirius is having a hard time. It can’t be easy to feel alone, although being among friends. The voice in his dream was right in some way, he is very alone. Or not? I like how you’ve concentrated the story around this question. What is it to be alone? Is it a feeling, or is it a state of fact?

He is longing for his own family, or merely for a picture of his loving family that doesn’t really exists. And he’s a teenager who still wants the world to be black or white, good or evil. It’s not an easy thing for any teenager to accept that your parents can be loved although they’ve got flaws and bad sides. For Sirius that’s even harder to acknowledge his feelings of love for his brother and parents, because they've treated him so badly. But I suppose the feeling of love is hidden somewhere inside him too…

You did a great job describing Sirius longing for being loved and taken care of. James’ mother sees that, and dotes on him. That’s heartwarming to read, and that’s also a parallel to Mrs Weasley and Harry.

Sirius background makes him the perfect godfather for Harry, although James and Lily hardly could have known how things would turn out for their son. The fact that Sirius was alone and unwanted is mirroring Harry’s childhood.

What makes me sad reading this is the thought that Sirius probably didn’t get less alone as time went by from this point forward. I’m glad he recognises love and friendship here, because we know what fate will bring him later on…

Thank you for sharing this story with us!


Author's Response: Hi Molly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I have to admit that I'm not a huge Marauders fan either. :) I actually rarely read them and almost never write them. So this was quite a challenge for me. But I really like that you pointed out some good things about it. I really wanted to focus on that feeling that you described: feeling alone, even among friends. I've felt that a lot during my life and wanted to explore it. So I'm glad that came across. All of your comments are so precise and accurate, and I appreciate them so much. Thank you again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by HappyMollyWeasleyThe Parish: The Parish

5th October 2015:
Hi Emily!

This is Molly, finally (!) with the first of the two reviews I’ve promised to give you. Sorry for being so late!

I rarely read stories outside my comfort zone (fluffy next-gen scorbus…), but I’m happy that I sometimes am pushed to do so. This story seems to be really great, and I was immediately drawn into it after the first few lines. There’s something about your writing which makes me read more and more. (I suppose that’s a sign telling me that I should explore more of your writing!)

Hermione is one of my favourite characters in canon, and I feel that she is very much in character here. The fact that she doesn’t know how to respond to attention from others is just perfect. She pretends she doesn’t notice just because she’s insecure. And yet she’s so talented and gifted in many ways… You captured the very essence of Hermione here!

One thing though: If my maths are right Rose (and maybe Hugo too?) would have already been born by the time Hermione is 28. You don’t tell us anything about that here, and I’ve got the feeling that Hermione isn’t a mother yet in this story, which makes it slightly AU. (Which is fine by me, I personally think that JKR let her characters become parents way too early…)

I think it was an interesting choice of Filch as a leader. I’ve not read many stories about him, and he sure need some attention too, poor thing! ;-) How did you come up with this idea?

Oh, and I need to tell you that I think you did an excellent job in adding diversity to this story. We need more of that! :-)


Author's Response: Hi Molly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you liked this first chapter! :D I really love that you like how I've written Hermione! She's one of my favorites too, and I'm always worried I won't do her justice! I'm glad you think I have. :)

Continuing: Yes, this is AU in some ways! I totally agree that the HP characters got married and had kids really young. So in this, I kept Hermione and Ron dating and didn't make them parents yet. I wanted to try my hand at writing Romione, but I just can't commit to also trying to write a married couple. Just too much at once! So they aren't married yet and don't have kids. ;)

As for Filch! I actually got the idea of him leading the team from the TV show, "The Strain" on FX! In that show, David Bradley (the actor who plays Filch) leads a team of vampire-hunters! So I took that concept for this story and readjusted it for the HP universe. I hope it comes across well!

Finally, thank you again for all your compliments! I'm so happy you liked this first chapter!


P.S. - Of course I'd LOVE if you chose to check out more of my writing! ;)

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Review #7, by HappyMollyWeasleyThe New Creative Arts Department: that time when i made a friend

5th October 2015:
Hi Joseph!

So here’s finally the last review for you! Two reviews in one day, who could have guessed that…?

I’ve said it before, this idea of a creative arts department is unique. I like how this story develops with a new voice in every chapter (at least so far). They are very different from each other. It’s interesting to view Rose and Scorpius from another perspective too. The comment about Rose never laughing at anyone who marks her schoolwork made me smile.

Oh, who is this Adrian? He seems so completely alone, and he has been for a long time. That’s so sad, and I wonder why he hasn’t got any friends. I’m glad he tried to talk to Lucy, and that she seems friendly. But I can’t figure it out really… Why didn’t he try that earlier if he wanted to? Or why did he suddenly pick up his courage now?

The tone in this chapter is more serious, and the pace is slower than in the first two chapters. I like that, as it makes the contrast between the voices more obvious. And although it’s a more serious tone it’s still light and little things like “Say Hippogriff” makes me laugh a little.

It’ll be interesting to see where this collaboration will head. :-)


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Review #8, by HappyMollyWeasleyYour Life, Your Love: Sink or Swim

5th October 2015:
Hi Joseph!

No one could argue that I’m a fast reviewer… But here is, finally, the second of the promised reviews. Let’s see when the final one arrives… ;-)

This was beautifully written, and although short, I understand that this story is the starting point for your main storyverse. I like that it’s centred around love. It’s balancing on the thin line between beautiful and overdone, and I was first afraid that you would cross that line and become too sentimental, but you didn’t, which was great. The story is emotional, but not overly so. Your language is like poetry, which makes me jealous. I want to write like that too!

Although I love your writing, and I understand that you intended to cover a long life into a short story, I think that the paragraph about Faith is a bit rushed and covers too much. I would have preferred if you had elaborated a bit more here.

But, all in all, this is a beautiful story, and it leaves me with a wonderfully nostalgic feeling when I’ve read it.


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Review #9, by HappyMollyWeasleyThis Bird Has Flown: a cynic and an idealist walk into a bar

11th September 2015:
Hi Joey!

This is Molly, finally here with the first of the three promised reviews! :-)

Oh, I like this Lucy, she reminds me of Luna Lovegood. She's in her own world, but yet very observant about things around her. She's really wonderful, inviting Scorpius for tea, and then telling him that she hasn't got any tea left. But wine is fine, apparently. She hasn't got much furniture, and Scorpius doesn't say much about that.

Writing books because she wants to read them herself makes me think of writing fan fiction. We write what we wish to read, don't we? Maybe that's the reason people write at all...

Scorpius is interesting here too. He seems lonely, and open-minded. Most people wouldn't follow a stranger like Lucy home, because she's behaving a bit unusual. I like to think about her as a friend of Luna's. I wonder what her father thinks?

I'd like to see some interaction between him and anyone beside Lucy, someone more 'normal'. It's hard to fully understand him. But on the other side, that's what I like most about this story. I don't understand the characters, although I like them. They're both wonderfully unique, and their interaction is amusing and interesting. I'd love to read more about them both!

Thanks for sharing this unusual and interesting story with us!


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Review #10, by HappyMollyWeasleyi'm coming home: breathe.

11th September 2015:
Molly again, with the final review.

There are not many Daphne stories available, which is sad, because she's really interesting. Both Daphne and Theo are mysteries, and the wonderful thing about them is that we could choose anything for them to be.

I like your Daphne. She's nervous and fragile, but she's also brave, and she knows how to stand up for herself. She is in a complicated situation. Imagine having to live with someone who has bullied you, and to accept him as your sister's boyfriend. I don't know if I could do that.

Draco seems to be changed though, which isn't very strange, because sometimes war and crisis do that to people I suppose. Still, I admire Daphne for forgiving him, and for telling him how she feels.

I like this story, but I think it kind of covers too much in just a short chapter. I would have loved if you told us a bit more, both about the part with Draco, and with Cho. I would also love to see some interaction between Daphne and Astoria.

Bravery... I think Daphne is just as brave as Cho. I hope she'll be able to see that too some day.


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Review #11, by HappyMollyWeasleydanse macabre: inviolate.

11th September 2015:
Review number four from Mollly. :-)

Oh, this was powerful! It's amazing how much feeling you put in this short text. Ginny is one of my favourite characters, so I couldn't resist reading this one.

I can feel her pain, and her feeling of dirtiness. I think you did a great job in showing that she blames herself - that he has made her blame herself - although it's not her fault. That's really a part of any abuse, that the victim is terrorised by thinking "if only I had...". It's as destroying as the abuse itself.

Her mother tries to comfort her, but she can't wipe the bad memories away. It's something she'll live with forever, although it might be a little less intense in time. But I don't think you could heal completely, it will still be there in some meaning, which is what I think you're telling us with this story.

"There is blood where her innocence had been." This sentence is so powerful, and scaring. I like how it reminds us about how intimate and cruel Tom's diary was to Ginny. My thoughts goes to sexual abuse, which (although a different thing of course) makes the victim experience the same feelings of dirtiness and self-blaming.

Poor Molly too. Imagine being the mother here, trying to comfort your child, but knowing that there's very little you can do. Any parent would wish she could take the pain from the child, to change places with her.

Although I usually love reading dialogue in your stories, I'm glad that you didn't put any dialogue in this. The effect is greater without talking here.

Thanks for sharing this amazing piece with us!


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Review #12, by HappyMollyWeasleyNo Strings Attached: three.

11th September 2015:
Hi Elisabeth!

This is review number three. :-)

I wasn't wrong supposing that this story wouldn't follow the usual teenage pregnancy pattern... You've really done something new and creative here!

Apparently both Rose and Scorpius were wrong about Albus. I like that Albus is able to show Scorpius that he cares about him, although it sure makes things more complicated. It's one thing for three people to agree to live together in an open relationship, and supposedly another thing to mix that with the shocking experience of expecting a child and becoming a new parent... That's an overwhelming time in life for any parent, usually with lots of crying involved.

It's bound to be misunderstandings, hurt feelings and problems for the three of them to solve. I'm not saying it wouldn't work, but I think Scorpius and Albus need to start communicating a lot more. Rose seems to be good at communication, but the others need to improve that skill to avoid trouble.

Telling the parents won't be an easy thing for any of them... I'm looking forward to reading that chapter! Especially the Malfoy parents who seem to be uncomfortable enough as it is.


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Review #13, by HappyMollyWeasleyNo Strings Attached: two.

9th September 2015:

This is Molly again with the second of your reviews.

So, now I got to meet Albus, although briefly... I like him so far. I suppose he's someone who is used to get what he wants.

Scorpius has put himself in quite a situation here. I've got the feeling he feels more for Albus than he admits. Or is it just my imagination as a Scorbus shipper? I don't want him to feel trapped together with Rose.

I like how you handled the counselling scene. It's both interesting and believable, and it gives us a clear picture of who Rose is. I'm pro-choice myself, but I understand that an abortion never is an easy thing to do. Rose is very calm in this, under the circumstances. She's also very analytical, which Hannah clearly is aware of. I would say that Rose is almost too calm... But she's smart, tricking Scorpius to reveal what he thinks.

And the fact that Scorpius wants to stay at home with the baby... I just love that! He really is a good person, and I'm sure he'll be a super dad!


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Review #14, by HappyMollyWeasleyNo Strings Attached: one.

6th September 2015:
Hi Elisabeth!

I'm finally here with the first of the five promised reviews from the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge.

My first thought about this story was that it feels strange to read a story not set in the TFWMS storyverse. It's the same names, the same age, the same (or similar) writing, but totally different characters. I just have to change the way I see them I suppose. I'm going to give them a fair chance to grow on me. ;-)

My second thought, as I started to realise the theme of this story, was that you're among the very few authors who I trust won't write a cliché story about teen pregnancy. I've got high expectations for this. (No pressure!!!)

I identify with Scorpius here. He is trying to be good, to do good things. And then this pregnancy happened just out of the blue. I remember that feeling from my own youth. i thought I was pregnant (which I wasn't), and I remember thinking that things like that shouldn't happen to me. I was a good girl (whatever that meant...?) and good girls didn't get pregnant. I don't know what made me think that, because I grew up in a non-religious family with very liberal views. When I told my mum she scolded me, not for thinking I was pregnant, but for thinking that "good girls don't get pregnant". She said that it happened to her, and to her mother. There are no "good girls". I'm sorry, I'm rambling now... But I wanted to tell you how I interpret Scorpius feelings in this.

I think I've got a thing for this Scorpius character after this. I like him. I don't know about Rose yet, she seems too rational. But she might just be in shock? I can't wait to meet Albus! ;-)


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Review #15, by HappyMollyWeasleyBarking Up The Wrong Tree: Chapter 1

14th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. I must say that's it's a pleasure to read and review all these wonderful entries! I don't know how we're going to decide on a winner among them all...

I think you did the most out of your story prompt here. Telling the story through the eyes of the jealous cousin made it even better. Dominique is fantastic with all her character flaws and her jealousy. She's human. I like your bookish Rose too. She's smart and thoughtful. She tries to tell Dominique in a tactful way, but it's no good. It's almost cruel to do what Rose does here, but I think she had it well planned and wasn't doing it on an impulse.

I suppose one could say that you're balancing on the edge to make them too cliché, but for a short next gen story like this I think it's good. We know the characters through the clichés after all, and you don't need to explain a lot about them. And, on the other hand, it would have been a lot more of a cliché story if you had made it a Scorose/Scorbus thing...

I love the feeling in this story. I'm always fond of the Weasley cousins, and I think you did a great work with them here. I really have a soft spot for siblings or cousins interaction.

The ending of this story is absolutely wonderful. This Dominique character is both amusing and interesting. You should write more about her!

Thank you for sharing this with us, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: Hey Molly,

I'm really pleased you liked the fic. I've not written much Dominique before, so it was interesting to try my hand at her and I'm pleased you liked her. I didn't want to go the super-cliche route and have it be a Scorose/Scorbus triangle, so I thought, why not have Dom in the mix to make things interesting?


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Review #16, by HappyMollyWeasleyJarvey: Jarvey

14th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. It's marvellous to read all these lovely stories, and it'll be a tough job deciding a winner amongst them...

I like how you used your story prompt and made an interesting story about it. Somehow you managed to create the right Hogwarts feeling when telling us about the different classes and about the rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Clara Longbottom was a nice detail to include.

Personally I'm not a fan of hate-turn-into-love stories, but I think you managed it quite well, just because you left out the "love" part. Albus is surprised by the kissing, but he doesn't immediately fall in love with Scorpius. He is curious, excited and overwhelmed, but not in love, which makes it more believable. I suppose he must be confused, though. I would certainly be so if I all of a sudden found myself kissing an enemy... I would have loved if you had explored those feelings a bit more.

The end of the story is perfect. Albus answer to Rose is so clever! I'm interested what happened the next Care of Magical Creatures lesson... Are you going to write more about that later on in another story?

Thanks for sharing this with us, and thank you for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: Hey Molly,

Thanks for the kind review. I was a little timid about this story but I am extremely thankful for your words. Albus and Scorpius are interesting to me and I wanted to take a different approach.

I wrote a sequel for another challenge, but it takes place about a year later. If I do another story taking place in the next Care of Magical Creatures Class, I'll let you know!
Thank you for hosting the challenge, it was quite fun!


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Review #17, by HappyMollyWeasleyDiscarded Pillows : Chapter 1

14th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. It's a great pleasure to read and review all these excellent stories!

I like how much we get to know about Albus' and Scorpius' relationship in this story. Rose and Roxanne are saying all the things we need to know, and makes a perfect mix between "showing a and telling" together with Albus' internal monologue. I like Albus' cousins here. They're both more sensible than him and have the guts to tell him so. He definitely needs to hear the truth from them.

I love the interaction between the Potter and Weasley cousins here. You've really managed them to come alive here! Albus is also very well described. We don't get to know very much about Scorpius though. We know he's good-looking, and we know that he's a good friend and Albus' love, but not much about him except from that.

Although I am a true Scorbus shipper, and although I like them to live happily ever after, I think the turning point came a bit too early and too abrupt in this story. I think that Scorpius could have let Albus suffer a little longer... ;-) I would have loved to read a little about what Scorpius had to say about the break up too, instead of just kissing and whatever more... But I'm not complaining about them getting together again, because they're my OTP as you know. :-)

I'd love to read about what happened the morning after... Is there a chance of another one-shot about that?

Thank you for writing this, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


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Review #18, by HappyMollyWeasleyAfternoon Tea: Afternoon Tea

9th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. It's wonderful to read and review all these lovely entries!

I like how this story starts with the breakfast scene, and the little details you tell us about the Malfoy family. (But why does it smell of cocoa when they are drinking coffee? Shouldn't it be coffee beans?) ...and then Draco drops a bomb! I can understand why Scorpius becomes nervous! Imagine having this secret from your grandparents for years...

Draco's words about Paul Nott being single are awesome! I laughed about that. That's a perfect "clueless father" line. :-)

Albus' and Scorpius' interaction is good. You're showing how well they know each other, and that they're important to each other. They have a great relationship, and it shows.

Another good relationship which is shown here is the one between Astoria and Scorpius. She seems like a really good mother. I love the lines "then your grandparents' opinions will be just that - just opinions" and "I can't say that they'll love Al like we do". Both those lines tells us a lot about Astoria, and about the Malfoy family. I'm glad Scorpius has a loving family around him!

Narcissa... She surprises me, but in a good way. I love how you've done all this building up for a cold and unpleasant reaction to Scorpius' boyfriend, and then everything goes well. Albus is a smart boy too!

The thing I like most about this story, however, is the amount of magic in it. It's all too easy to forget to add details about magic. Without magic stories could be set in the Muggle world. A good Harry Potter fic should has some magic added, just like this one. Small things, like Astoria waving her wand to create shadow, which reminds us about where the story is taking place.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: Hi Molly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! :D I'm really glad you liked the story. So, to reply: Thanks for pointing out the cocoa bean thing! Oops! I'll fix that! I'm so glad that you liked the part with Draco being a clueless dad. I love imagining him as a father! I'm sure he would be just so out of his depth. And I am SO happy you liked Astoria! I've never written for her, so this was so much fun. I think Scorpius's parents really would have been great and supportive. I believe in Draco that he could be a good dad, and I like to imagine Astoria as someone kind and supportive. Finally, I'm glad that Narcissa's reaction sat well with you, and I'm happy that the magic in the story was enjoyable to read. Thank you again for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it so much!


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Review #19, by HappyMollyWeasleyBreathe.: breathe.

9th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. I must say that it's a most pleasant task to read and review all these lovely entries!

First I must say that this story is so heartwarming! I love parent-child moments like these, it's just adorable! Scorpius' and Albus' relationship is also beautiful described here. I can tell that they're good for each other. :-)

A tiny detail... Being a December baby doesn't mean that one is among the youngest at Hogwarts, as one have to be 11 at September 1st. At Hogwarts the youngest of every year would be the ones born in August.

Elope and move to Russia... Maybe not very wise for a gay couple... But hopefully things will change in the future (and this story is in fact set in the future). That's a nice thought! ;-)

I like that both Ginny and Harry are so in character. Well done on that!

"Then I wouldn't care if he was the son of Voldemort." This sentence, said by Harry, must be one of the most loving and most beautiful lines I've read in ages. You almost made me cry here. It's understandable that Albus was nervous to tell his parents about Scorpius (although I almost think that he was too nervous...), but Harry's line here must be so comforting and reassuring. It captures a parent's love for their child perfectly.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks for participating in our challenge!


Author's Response: I'm glad that you found it heart warming! That's what I was going for, and I'm glad that I was able to get that emotion across to readers.

Ahh, I think the way I've written it might be confusing, but Scorpius is the one who's older and he is the one born in December. That's why he calls Al 'kiddo'. I'll see if there's some way I can make that clearer because I don't want to confuse my readers!

While writing this I tried to make it a really idealistic future in terms of LGBTQA people. Al doesn't really "come out" to his parents and there's no inner turmoil over his feelings. Gay people are more accepted so, yes, maybe things are better in Russia now!

That was one of my favourite lines to write! It came to my out of the blue and I just thought "Yes. This is perfect" and just went with it! As for Al, I did try to write him as being irrationally anxious. I think it added to his character so I'm kind of glad that you got that feeling because that was my intention :)

Thank you so much for the kind words and for creating this challenge! Good luck with the judging - I'm sure it'll be tough!

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Review #20, by HappyMollyWeasleyLover's Spark: Green Moss

7th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. I must say that it's terrific to get to read all these amazing stories!

Your story starts 'in meditas res' which makes it interesting right from the first line. You also provide just enough background to let us understand your characters, but not so much that it becomes boring.

I like Rose and Hugo here, and their bickering. I think they disappeared a bit suddenly though. One or two paragraphs more with them would have been great in my opinion, just to don't rush the story.

Although I like your story (or this first chapter, as I understand that there's more to come!), I think that it's a bit on the short side, or merely a bit rushed, at least after the first introduction part when you're telling us the background.

The tension between Albus and Scorpius is remarkable in the moments leading up to the kiss. You did a really good job with that! I always love adorable scenes like that! I can't wait to read the rest of this story! Thank you for writing this for our challenge!


Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words Molly. When I wrote this, I did those first few lines a few days before anything else, and forgot what I was writing about! I'm pretty sure it swung somewhere completely different in the end.

I might put an edit in for more Rose and Hugo after I get the rest up.

I thought the challenge was excellent - I've never written this pairing before and now I don't know whether I like it better than Rose/Scorpius or not!

Thank you for leaving a review,

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Review #21, by HappyMollyWeasleyA Minor Key.: a terrible misunderstanding.

7th August 2015:

This is Molly reviewing for the Addicted to Albus and Scorpius Challenge. We really got so many great entries for this challenge!

I love ad astra's TFWMS storyverse, and I have to say that's it's brave of you to dive right into it with an AU story! Adopting someone else's characters and storyverse is challenging. It's hard to get everything right. (Well... All fan fiction is exactly about adopting someone else's characters I suppose... Anyway...) I think you did a great job with this, because I recognise Lisa's characters, and they still feel alive and true. The tone of your narration is different from hers, but that doesn't bother me. It would be strange otherwise I suppose... (It's funny to have both your stories in this challenge by the way!)

Albus has been worried for a long time, and expressed it "until it was only a formality". Oh, how I know that feeling! You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. And that hurts so much.

Lily dares to say what Albus need to hear, but it's not comforting. Sometimes a sibling can say just these things. Albus knows it too, but I can understand that it hurts. (Oh, poor Albus, he's hurting a lot...)

Rose... I'm so mad at her right now! I don't think I've ever like her again after this. ;)
And Scorpius too. He can't help that he has an addiction, but he still has some responsibilities. He treats Albus so bad, and in the end I can't say anything other than that the breakup was the only right thing to do.

You actually sank this ship to the bottom... It breaks my heart, but I guess every story can't have a happy end. It's a sad and heartbreaking story, but it's very well-written, and it's also believable and on an important subject. Thanks for writing this and for participating in this challenge!


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Review #22, by HappyMollyWeasleyGloria: Gloria

23rd June 2015:
Hi! This is Molly again for our review swap. Thanks for agreeing on yet another swap!

Wow, this was beautiful! But I hadn't expected anything else from your writing. You've got an extraordinary way of writing which makes your stories poetic and beautiful, even when the plot may be sad or cruel. I hope you're writing OF too, because I'm positive your writing style would be much appreciated outside HPFF too.

"One of us will be blackened beyond the night and deep into Hell; the other glorified beyond belief, raised to the right-hand side of God."

This made me think of Jesus Christ Superstar, (Don't ask me why, though...) when the apostles are singing about writing the gospels. Something about letting Judas be the only one to take the blame for what happened. People like good and evil, black and white, right or wrong. So yes, it's true, one would be glorified and the other one "blackened beyond the night". And that's what happened too, wasn't it?

I'm usually not fond of writing in second person, (I absolutely avoid it, if I've got the possibility...), but somehow you've managed to write it in a way that works. To be honest I must tell you that I had read quite a few paragraphs before I even noticed the second person POV, which I suppose proves that the style of writing suits the story well. But if I could have one single wish it still would be to skip the second person writing... ;-)

I like how you're exploring the differences between their dreams and great ambitions, and the fact that they're also humans and lovers. The difference between day and night, public and private.

The love between them is essential to this story, and it's almost palpable. Love, or obsession? It's so strong and consuming that it's scary.

So the decision to duel Gellert was a way for Albus to save him in a way... Well, that's makes sense to me, but I hadn't thought about it in that way before. It's almost to cruel to be true, though. Albus is breaking his heart to save his love. "This betrayal will kill him just as much as it will save him."

Your story left me feeling sad and thinking about love and life. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece with us!


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Review #23, by HappyMollyWeasleyL'optimisme: Meter

20th June 2015:

It's Molly here with the review for our swap. :-)

First I have to say that I'm so very impressed by your writing. It's unusual to come across stories which are of such high quality chapter after chapter. Every chapter of this is well-measured and poetic, and although I recognise the form of it by now you still manage to surprise me and keep my attention to the story. It's a long story, and one could think it would become boring after a while, because the pace is so slow, but you manage to keep every chapter interesting and important.

So it took fifteen years for Albus to finally reach out to Aberforth. It's quite a long time. But then, he had strong reasons. Although I can understand Aberforth too, it's not all Albus' fault that it took so long. During those fifteen years one might think that Aberforth could have became a little softer and contacted his brother too... Well, I'm glad they've found each other again anyway. Albus has been alone for so long, and family is family after all.

I smiled at the mentioning of Aberforth's goats. I hope you'll include his goat related scandal in this story somehow... :-)

I like how you intertwine the Muggle war with the wizarding world. I know it's canon, but it's an aspect which is often forgotten in fanfiction. The worlds are not separate from each other, but depending on each other in many ways. It'll be interesting to see where you'll lead this storyline.


Author's Response: Hey Molly! :) Thank you so much for stopping by again - I'm so so glad you still like this! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! :) It's strange for me writing this story because I'm not used to writing things which are so long, and I struggle sometimes therefore to feel like it's as good? Like I never feel that the later chapters live up to the first ones and I'm always worried they're rubbish in comparison, so thank you so much! It's so great to hear that! :) I really try to pick situations which are important but also able to be extrapolated with regards to the overarching theme of the story, so thank you - I'm so glad you think they're working! :)

Yeah, it's a long time. But in canon they don't have much beyond a sort of working relationship, really - they're definitely not close - but I wanted the initial reach out to happen earlier - but not too early. Losing a sister and feeling like it was your fault is a pretty big thing, after all. And yeah, it's sort of both of their faults - and Gryffindor courage in the end, for Albus to manage it :P And yes! Family is so important! :)

Haha, I have plans for that, actually! It will definitely be mentioned - at least once, if not more. It's one of those moments which isn't necessary to include but I want to, you know? It's such a great bit :P

Thank you so much! :) I really love history and given the canon timeline and how it's meant to intertwine, I really couldn't leave it out at all - and I like including it, too. I think things maybe make more sense that way?

Thank you so so much for the lovely review - it was so great to get, and I'm just so glad you're still enjoying the story! :)

Aph xx

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Review #24, by HappyMollyWeasleyA Long Time Coming: The End

5th June 2015:

This is Molly (Finally!) here with the second of the reviews for our swap. (You just keep adding new stories... This one wasn't here last time I checked, but it seemed interesting, so I thought I should give it a try!)

Tom Riddle Sr is a man I haven't thought about almost at all. He's not pictured very often in fan fiction, at least not in the stories I read.

You did a great job in describing both how surprised and confused he must have been to find himself facing his son, and how scary it must be to realise that his son is some kind of manic. There's no empathy and no reasoning in the younger man's mind.

But Tom Riddle Sr isn't an all too compassionate and loving man himself, I suppose... It's interesting to think about what formed Voldemort. Genes? Neglect? Destiny?

I was surprised that you continued the story beyond his death, and I think you did it very well. First how his soul kind of lingers, still angry and afraid, and then the surprise of being in a strange version of heaven. It's hardly the kind of heaven he imagined anyway...

This one-shot was really different from what I've been reading before, and I think you did a great job here. Things are never black or white, but something in between. There are lots of reasons why things end up one way or another too.


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Review #25, by HappyMollyWeasleyIsabella: A Midnight Surprise

1st June 2015:

This is Molly with the first of the reviews for our swap. :-)

I enjoyed the first chapter of this story, so I was happy to find that you've got another one up already (as well as a new one-shot too! You're so productive!!!).

Seeing that the door just exploded I should say that Isabella's family seems to be a very cool one. I would never calm down enough to make coffee to the visitor/intruder...

The story about her father is both sad and a believable background. How horrible, though! It kind of reminds me about Dumbledore's sister, although it's really not the same after all. I can understand that he wanted to forget all about magic after that.

I can understand Rosa here. She must feel very betrayed, and also afraid here. I don't know how I would have reacted to be honest... Isabella is strong and can surely speak for herself. I love her already!

It's interesting how you've changed some details so that the Mexican system becomes different from the British one. It would be very unlikely if all magical cultures and school systems were the same. It'll be interesting to see how you're going to develop this later on!

I like how you've included the Spanish words in a way that I can understand the meaning, although I don't understand the actual words. The text is more fluent without the asterisks too!


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