Reading Reviews From Member: manno_malfoy
181 Reviews Found

Review #1, by manno_malfoyActions Speak Louder than Words: Better: Rose POV

12th October 2015:
Awh. This is such a short chapter, but itís also great! Youíve already told us a bit about what Scorpiusís relationship with his parents was like, but we knew very little in that regard about Rose. I think that the relationship between Rose and Harry is adorable. Itís evident by the end of the chapter how well he knows her, and I suppose, how well he knows Scorpius as well. And really, as Iíve said in my previous review, if Albus is nudging Scorpius to go for it, then it must be glaringly obvious that thereís a spark or some sort of chemistry between Scorpius and Rose. And this only reinforces that.

And now that I know your Rose to some extent, I can see that itís just like her (very wise and calculated) to have faith in someone whoís an adult and who can advise her but who would also manage to be relatively objective and not just jet off based on emotion and fury the way Ron would. And speaking of Roseís parents, Rose dragging Al and healing him right then there reminded me a lot of Hermione for some reason. Just the way she commands Albus around and looks out for him. Itís just adorable. A whole lot of adorable in this small chapter.

Thanks to my current hectic schedule, I'm slowly but surely making my way through this addictive story (Congrats on that well-deserved Dobby, by the way). But I really am loving it so far!


Author's Response: Hi there Manno!

Thanks again for all the amazing reviews you've left me on this story. I really like writing the scenes were everything slows down a bit for the characters. I think it's necessary to have some balance between the emotionally-charged scenes so that we know that they get to take a breather every now and then.

You totally get Rose and Harry's relationship. He is removed enough from the situation to see her side of things a bit more than Ron.

And yes! Rose does have some of her mother's characteristics. She isn't about to let anyone's foolishness get in the way of their health - haha!

Thanks again for the lovely reviews!

♥ Beth

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Review #2, by manno_malfoyActions Speak Louder than Words: Bitter: Scorpius POV

29th September 2015:
Alright, so this chapter is different because instead of focusing on Rose and Scorpius and their issues, we focus on Albus and his. Heís been a bit on the sidelines the past few chapters and basically all we knew about him was that he cares about Rose a lot. So it was amazing to get to explore this intense, competitive side of him, and to see the effect of being the Chosen Oneís son on him. What I particularly like about Albus right now is that even though Harry is pushing him and has high expectations for him, he didnít quit on being an auror. He couldíve just made a switch if it really bothered him THAT much. But this goes to show how good he is at it, and how much he appreciates his job.

Itís interesting how Albus is encouraging Scorpius to go for this relationship, as opposed to most of the ScoRose fics where he gets really defensive and protective. And that really does prove how obvious Scorpiusís and Roseís feelings are for each other. And the bottom line is, theyíre good for each other as well, so I just wanna hit them both on the head and tell them to get together and make things better for both of them. Which is why I support Albusís childish behaviour towards this at the end of the chapter. I applaud him.

I also loved seeing how Scorpius respects Harry and how grateful he is to him. After all, Harry pretty much adopted him. I thought that was a fantastic touch! And itís realistic as well that he noticed when it was getting out of hand between Harry and Albus. Just great characterisation, overall so far. And I just wanna sit here and gobble up the story all day! :D


Author's Response: Hey there Manno,

I'm so glad you liked my Albus character. I really made an effort with this fic to write a Rose/Scorpius story where the characters were a little different than they are normally portrayed. I'm not saying I don't love to read the stories where Albus wants to pound Scorpius into the ground for kissing his cousin, but I just thought there was another way the story could go.

Haha - I kinda want to hit them over the head too. They really are made for each other and they need each other for so many parts of their lives.

Scorpius does feel connected to Harry - and Harry was very cautious in his treatment of Scorpius - so he didn't feel like he was trying to take the place of his father, but wanted him to know that there would always be someone there for him, if he needed it.

Eeep! Thanks again!

♥ Beth

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Review #3, by manno_malfoyActions Speak Louder than Words: Besotted: Rose POV

29th September 2015:
Youíve made a twist on the Cruciatus! How cool is that! Itís like tampering with a Patronus to use it for delivering messages! I found the descriptions of the effects of the curse excellent and detailed enough. And Iím thrilled that we finally know enough about what happened to Rose two years ago. Iím curious what the circumstances were and what led to it, but there are enough answers to many of the questions Iíve had since starting the story, so Iím satisfied. The way youíre gradually feeding us information about the past really does help keep the suspense and has kept me thoroughly entertained.

I think itís a step forward that Rose is facing the traces of her trauma --the scars, the memories. And it makes sense that sheís doing that the morning after she feels something. Itís heartbreaking how she views herself, but I canít imagine anyone not thinking that having to live with the scars of something that haunts them isn't terrible. Or as if living through it to begin with wasn't terrible enough.

I must say that I loved your drunk Scorpius; he was retrospective, self-lamenting, and honest. Of course, his view of himself may be slightly distorted. But I must admit that I hated him a little when Rose mentioned what sheíd seen one of those nights sheíd gone to him in the dorm, mostly because Iím a bit partial to Rose and Scorp being together forever with no obstacles (or other silly girls) getting in the way of that. But I suppose thatís too much to ask for?

Once again, I canít help but admire Rose for her support and dedication to Scorpius. It shows how the bond between them is strong, and it gives me hope. Because if it has survived the hormones and the other girls and the death of Scorpiusís parents during school, it should survive what comes next. If thereís something that comes next.

I have all my fingers crossed for romance because I just love those two!

Oh, and this is for the BvB fest.


Author's Response: Hi there Manno!

Gosh - this review was so detailed and amazing and just... thank you so much! I'm all giddy right now at how you found all the little details that I put into my story!

I wanted to take my villain to the next level - using the same ol' cruciatus wasn't going to be bad enough for this guy - he had to show everyone that he was evil enough to be *worse*

And Yes!! I'm so glad you noticed that Rose is finally taking some steps toward recovery. That's something that I wanted to bring about s-l-o-w-l-y in this story. I was very deliberate about that, but I did want her to get better... so I always worry if I paced it well or not. Thanks for the awesome comments, because it really helped me to feel like I did that. :)

Scorpius was in a really, REALLY bad place after his parents died. He was an orphan, and basically had no extended family to support him. Harry offered up his home - for a few reasons, not the least of which was because Scorpius reminded him a lot of himself. Nonetheless, he had to go through some pretty awful periods in his grief and unfortunately, he ended up hurting Rose in the process.

Rose feels different when she's helping others. It's the one place she can finally start to feel like her old self. And she's taking that and running with it for now.

Thanks again for these amazing reviews! Gah! I loved reading them!

♥ Beth

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Review #4, by manno_malfoyfound wanting: i.

25th September 2015:
Hello! So I've seen this story mentioned a few times on the forums and I thought it sounded interesting!

This chapter is really, really short, but it works somehow. It's practically a pretty invitation that hooked me right away. I think that idea of a reunion is quite cool; I haven't read a story about one yet.

The opening paragraph is written beautifully and it's captivating. It sets the scene quite perfectly, then in comes a mysterious character, then we're given a hint about the premise of the story. So yes, all the elements for a great first chapter are here, even though it's short! So well done with that.

I found Holly interesting too. You've described her really well, I could see her in my head. I'm intrigued to see where you take her and this story next. :D


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Review #5, by manno_malfoyDefiantly Devious: Something Wicked

25th September 2015:
Hello there! I'm back and I'm very excited about it.

This is such an important chapter because there's progress between George and Hermione. Yay! And it really is so weird and unusual for me to like Hermione with anyone other than Ron. But what you've managed to do, for me at least, is develop this right from the start, and slip little things every chapter so that when this happened, it came off as logical and believable. And you know what, I've never thought about Hermione and George together before, but now that I think about it, it's a very interesting concept. They both are really smart, even if in different ways, or perhaps BECAUSE it's in different ways... I just can see Hermione admiring people for their brains, so yes, I'm on board of this ship in your story.

I have a bit of constructive criticism and I hope that's okay. But after the first kiss, you said that Hermione was taken off guard, but you didn't really show it. They just went right onto working on the fountain pen. I feel that MAYBE you could've elaborated a bit on the shock of it, and not only for Hermione but I guess for George as well? But that's just my opinion, really.

The second kiss was great and perfectly described and well-timed. And I enjoyed reading about them working together and all. I suppose things can only get more exciting from here!

This has been another great chapter. And I see that you've churned out a couple more since I've last checked the story out, so I can't wait to see what you do next.


Author's Response: I welcome the constructive criticism, sometimes I have so many thoughts about where I want the story to go, that I write too fast cause I don't want to forget the ideas. But you do have a point about the lack of shock. Thanks for reading!

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Review #6, by manno_malfoyChai, Pakoras, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Pakoras, and a Friend

25th September 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our swap!

Aww. I just can't with these two. I've been meaning to come back and check out the other stories in the chai series for a while now, wanting to see what you do to make each story different. And both made me feel gooey on the inside. Or like Hannah would put it, like melting chocolate.

There's something so electric between Neville and Hannah, this sort of chemistry that makes it so incredibly enjoyable to sit here and read about the two of them cooking and eating together. A huge part of that is owed, of course, to your wonderful execution throughout the story. You add just enough details about the food and the cooking process, and it adds SO MUCH to the story. It speaks to the foodie in me as well, and that's always a plus. And you write the way they interact with each other (especially physically) so well, and it's just so cute!

I'm sure I've mentioned this in my last review as well, but I LOVE what Hannah is doing with her life. She just wants to do something she really loves, and is not scared to switch careers when she's not get the satisfaction she is seeking. I just respect that a lot, and it makes me admire her.

I found this story even funnier than the 'carrots' story (which is the only other one I've read). Hannah thinking that Neville is just a dream but baffled by the fact that he's dressed was just the best!

Speaking of that part. You wrote:
The sound of rich chocolate

It seemed a little odd to me. Did you mean smell? But anyway, that was the only thing that caught my eyes. Everything else was perfect.

I really am enjoying these glimpses at Neville's and Hannah's relationship. The two that I've read so far are about crucial points, and as you've clarified, some time has passed since that first Valentine's. I can definitely see the development in their relationship. It's amazing to see them so insanely in love after all that time, and how they're keeping up the chai and food antics while making important decisions. It just does weird (good kind of weird) stuff to my heart.

I will definitely come back again for the other stories in the series. Hopefully, I can manage to read them in order. I could've done that this time, but I thought I'd review something recent for the swap!

I'm super glad I got the chance to read this tonight. It put such a big smile on my face and put me in a good mood, so thank you for that!


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Review #7, by manno_malfoyTo Steal Our Breath Away: Prologue

21st September 2015:
Hello! I'm here for the BvB!

I feel that you don't give too much away in this first chapter, but just enough to keep me curious! I really enjoy how you've introduced your main character by describing what she wants to do with her life, and where she wants to live. It does give some insight into what sort of person she is.

You've kept me on edge the whole time. I think you've managed to write her paranoia quite well. You didn't just say that she was 'shakier than usual', no. You went ahead and mentioned all the unusual measures she was taking this time to feel secure. I really liked that and I thought it helped intensify the tension in the chapter and also helped me get to know your character more.

You have peaked my interest with this small chapter, and you did end it on a point that does make wonder about a lot of things... who, what, why? And that makes it a wonderful first chapter!


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Review #8, by manno_malfoySchrodinger's Cat: Anhedonia

18th September 2015:
I've been hearing about this story ever since I've come back on the archives and I've been scared about approaching it. I haven't really read anything about Harry/Ginny, and I'm not entirely sure why. But I'm so glad to finally read it, and I don't have to even wonder why it's nominated for a Dobby.

I'm a bit of a science-y person. Not physics, but science. Psychology is something I thoroughly enjoy. Therefore, this story had multiple aspects that made it such an interesting read for me! The psychoanalysis is very well done. And Harry's frustration with these healers not really hearing him is very justified and understandable. Like the healer said, they do focus on body language and they try to read between the words a person says to reach a conclusion, and it's likely that in their preoccupation with finding the truth between the lies, they miss important things that are being said. And I did enjoy how you've brought that up, and how it shows how many of these sessions Harry has had to sit through.

There's this composed, calm tone that you've managed to maintain throughout the story and I think it gives off the same message Harry is trying to deliver. Things feel calm, they may be the same, but they don't feel the same. The general emotion and tone betray the inner feelings and intentions and it just works so well to illustrate the conflict.

I can't help but notice the pain in the simplicity of it all. At least when a relationship ends with a big fight, there's someone/something to blame, something to take out all the frustration on. But when it ends like this... it's just so depressing. And like Harry said, there's no going back. The cat is dead.

The metaphor was such a brilliant touch, and I can't get over it! It's perfect!

This is the first thing I read for you, but I really loved and enjoyed it a lot! And I will, hopefully, check out more of your stories soon!


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Review #9, by manno_malfoyTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

18th September 2015:

"It was as though she were a marionette, with all the responsibilities stringing her upright suddenly sliced through."

"Not the mundane sort of magic that had run in the veins of their families for centuries, but an indomitable force of will."

There were multiple beautiful passages in this chapter, but these two are my favourite. There was an overpowering sense of vulnerability in the second half of the chapter that, I suppose, gave you more of a chance to craft sentences that really do appeal to emotions. All the pretences were off, and they both were finally saying what they mean. For a brief while, they were just two young people in a room, caught in a dilemma too huge and complex for their age.

The way you made Draco waver so gradually until that moment in the end when he let her go was fantastic. It started out with Draco admiring her wits (all the way in the beginning of the story), to his stopping her from saying Voldemort's name (in a most admirable manner too, I must say. My Drastoria-loving heart quivered in admiration!), then it went onto an honest conversation where he confessed to how little control he had over matters, to her begging him to exercise whatever little influence he had to the fullest. The sequence of events made things so realistic and it all went so smoothly.

Your description of Fenrir was so magnificent. You went beyond describing how he looked and it just brought him to life and really scared me. I don't know how Astoria kept herself together, but it made me agree with Draco. She probably could hold it together in front of Voldemort as well, that beautiful piece of work.

I really do admire how you're writing her and developing her. I love, love, love the moments where you remind us of how she's just a young girl despite of the tough act she puts. I just want to give her a hug.

Oh, and I do apologise once again for the mistake in the previous review. Lesson learned: no more reviewing without absolute silence and a cup of tea!

Lots and lots of love!


Author's Response: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Isn't she awesome? I'm so proud of my baby!

Hey, I had said she might want to join you on beating Draco with a blunt (or sharp!) object.

Aww, favorite quotes! I love favorite quotes! Thank you.

"All the pretences were off, and they both were finally saying what they mean. For a brief while, they were just two young people in a room, caught in a dilemma too huge and complex for their age. "
--I feel like that's such an excellent description of what this chapter is like and of what I wanted it to be.

Having Draco waver was definitely like chipping away at an iceberg with a screwdriver. You see now why it had to be six chapters in the parlour! I mean, apart from all the background info that we needed, I just knew that Draco needed time to thaw a bit, to develop an admiration for (and, perhaps, an interest in...?) Astoria. And, of course, he sees plenty to admire in her: she's clever and quick, and surprisingly brave. And family is everything to her, which he can relate to. After all, Draco is *in* this terrible situation because of his family.

That bit where he wouldn't let her say the name is something I'm really fond of, too. Yay for quivering, Drastoria-loving hearts!

The honesty at the end of that conversation is cool, too, because up till now we've so rarely seen Astoria be honest. Even when she's been vulnerable, like with Madame Pomfrey, she dries her tears, puts up a front, shakes it off. This is maybe the first time we've seen Astoria with all her walls down. It's a rare view of her.

Aw, thank you! Honestly, I can never read that passage about Fenrir without cringing. He freaks me out. And you're absolutely right √ʬĬď Astoria frequently underestimates her bravery (and, to be fair, she does have a very well-developed sense of self-preservation). But when it comes down to it, she can hold her own. Draco sees that bravery in her, and he's probably right. She probably could hold it together in front of Voldemort far better than most.

And thank you, again! I love when people love Astoria. I don't know how well she'd respond to that hug, but I can tell you that *I* certainly appreciate it.

Absolutely no worries!

Lots of love back atcha! Your reviews always brighten my day :D


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Review #10, by manno_malfoyTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

18th September 2015:
"Perhaps they were discussing the remarkable freshness of their lawn!"

Oh my God, that made me laugh so hard! Astoria is so awesome! And it's not like she hasn't been intense all along, but she took it to a whole new level this chapter. It felt like a tennis match and the two of them were rallying against each other, IT WAS SO EXCITING! But I was also so scared for Astoria as Draco continued to dig deeper.

When Astoria's brain jumped straight to torture being the 'tough method', I couldn't help but think that it's the aftermath of the curse with her mother. I mean, if Lavinia could do something so terrible to her (even if for a good reason), then who knows how far could Draco take things to prove he's right?!

I'm very curious as to how Astoria managed to shield herself against Leglimency...? Is it another thing Lavinia has done? I got quite terrified though when Draco started trying to get into her head. I thought it's over. But phew... It's all good. For now, I guess.

But really! You're doing a marvellous job with all the suspense! And not just getting it through from one chapter to the next, but within each chapter as well! This chapter in particular is exhilarating!

AND WHAT IS THAT PREVIEW?! I'm so glad I can move straight onto the next chapter and see it!!!

Author's Response: I'm pretty positive I mentioned that I mentioned this in the PM I sent you, but I am SO EXCITED that you liked that line because it is one of my favorites. Especially with Draco following it up be throwing shade at the Weasley's lawn care. :p

I'M SO GLAD THAT IT WAS EXCITING! Tennis match and chess game were definitely what I was going for; just constant volleys back and forth, each trying to outplay the other.

I think you make a good point. I'd say that, while Astoria was guarded before, Lavinia's curse made her a whole lot more so. She certainly wouldn't expect more mercy from her enemies than from her family.

As you know now, she didn't. Astoria isn't an occlumens, much to her dismay. Strange, maybe, that a spy's protégé wouldn't learn occlumency. But then, perhaps there's more to the story...There usually is ;)

Thank you! That's a lovely thing to say and I am so glad to hear it!

MUAHAHAHA! That was a fun teaser, I'm not gonna lie ;)


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Review #11, by manno_malfoyDon't Forget Me: My Hero

17th September 2015:
Oh my GOD?! But why?! This raises more questions than it answers? Is there a companion story? Or will you write one?

I do believe that this is the first thing I've read by you, and honestly, you shocked me. I was so intrigued by the summary. A super short angsty one-shot about Albus and James... What could that possibly be about? Oh, James killed Rosie. WHAT?! You had me staring at the screen in shock for a good minute before I moved ahead and finished reading the rest of the story.

The second person POV is a brilliant choice here. Half the time, I was feeling really guilty, but I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU, ALBUS! It just brings out this frustration, the blame, and most importantly, the conflict perfectly. Albus has always felt neglected, and in a way, being condemned for something so horrifying is him trying to change that, to prove otherwise. It's a HUGE sacrifice, after all. But will James tell the truth at any point?!

What I like is that he looked up to James anyway. I don't understand why James killed Rosie, but I do admire the brotherly bond anyway.

And I really do hope that you elaborate on this story because it's just interesting and twisted and I'd LOVE to see more of it!


Author's Response: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so mean! But yes, I am going to write a companion piece to this.

Is it? I hopee that you've enjoyed it! I'm not normally this dark and morbid I swear :P

Yep, James is not a good person in this at all. Haha wow, that's quite some shock! :P

Aw I just wanted to hug Albus through all of this. He has made a massive sacrifice to save his brother, who doesn't deserve it. As for if James will ever tell the truth... I'll need to write the next one.

I shall elaborate, don't you worry!

Thank you so much!! :D

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Review #12, by manno_malfoythe earth and the sky: the earth and the sky

15th September 2015:
Hello! I'm here because I'm trying to check out as many of the Dobby nominations as possible! I can't tell you how excited I was when I saw that this is a Draco/Astoria one-shot. I love these two so much, and you did them justice!

What amazes me about this story is how well it flows, even though it's all broken up into little pieces. It's almost like snippets, like flipping through a photo album maybe and there's a focus on ONE particular thing in each snippet. There are no unnecessary details, and the conversations are almost poetic (especially in the beginning).

Another thing that I admired was the recurring phrases like love, love, love and want vs. need They just tied everything together over the course of the story. And each time one of them popped up, I'd take a moment to consider how far Draco and Astoria have come since the last time it was used. It's just a lovely touch.

I think my favourite part was when Astoria started having doubts about the relationship. It was just so realistic! Because first it's Draco's accident, then it's a baby, and it is, indeed, a lot to take in. When she went off with Blaise, I thought that this was it. That we're going to go into full-blown angst. But no, you did something better! You showed how strong the bond between the Draco and Astoria is. And how easy it is to get stuck in a rut with a relationship sometimes, but also how small things can just revive it again. So yes, definitely my favourite part.

It's just amazing how you've managed to basically tell us their whole story. It's a one-shot (yes, a bit long) but by the end of it, I know everything that I NEED to know about them. I've seen their biggest problems and their tenderest moments, and I feel for them.

I'm so glad I've come across this story! And many congrats on the well-deserved Dobby nomination!


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Review #13, by manno_malfoyIn Every Stitch: Eight

15th September 2015:
A Molly story about motherly feelings? That ought to be moving.

This is such a great idea, and you executed it beautifully. To see Molly's train of thought as she knitted, how much she cares about her children and Harry. That was just so lovely. And she does it with what she has to offer, so she makes it extra special by putting love into it. It's just so sweet.

I thought the reasons that you've chosen to include are just the loveliest. After all, Molly did know Harry's parents. And it's not she's trying to take their place or she thinks that she can make up for the loss. No, she keeps them in mind throughout the process. And she's just trying to make things easier for Harry. More normal. And boy, did he need that.

I think this such a nice story! I've never written anything so short before. I've tried and failed, so I know how much of a challenge it can be. But you've done such a great job, and managed to make it evoke emotion. So well done!

Oh, and congratulations on the Dobby nomination!


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Review #14, by manno_malfoyObsession: Obsession

14th September 2015:
Hello! I've come here because I'm checking out as many of the stories nominated for the Dobby's as possible. Even though I strongly dislike Pansy, I was looking forward to this story because I always think things get interesting when people try to write about characters that are widely hated.

And in this case, things definitely were interesting.

I liked that you didn't tell us in the beginning what had set Pansy off like that. Instead, you got us to focus on how it made her feel, and how, even in her fury, the good memories seemed to spring up anyway.

You did wonderfully with describing how she felt that, at some point, I actually sympathised with her and I had to question my feelings toward her. And it all escalated for me when I realised what she had done. Oh my God! That was just so brilliant. Having her take such a radical decision says a lot about her feelings toward Draco.

And you know what's really sad? Even doing that didn't give her peace. She's just sitting there obsessing about what she can't remember. The poor thing. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to.

But hey, you made an adamant Drastoria shipper and Pansy hater feel something towards Pansy! And I really did enjoy reading this! So well done!


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Review #15, by manno_malfoydanse macabre: inviolate.

14th September 2015:
Whoa. Okay. That really was something different from ANYTHING that I've read before. I'm always uncertain about such short stories because I'm not sure how much of an impact they can deliver. But this did! Like a punch straight in the heart too, I must say!

It's just so haunting. The way you've written it, from the very first line, is so captivating. It sucked me right into this grim mood of the story until the end.

It's not all effective imagery. You've found a way, somehow, to still tell the story alongside depicting Ginny's struggle. AND IN 500 WORDS. HOW?!

I LOVED the marionette comparison. That whole passage is so memorable and so unique! And yet, somehow, even though she knows he controlled her and she couldn't do anything about it, there's so much guilt and self-blame that comes through. It's just so painful.

This definitely is such a beautiful piece! I can see why it's been nominated for a Dobby, and I'm so glad I've come across it! And I hope I'll get a chance to check out some of your other stories soon!


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Review #16, by manno_malfoySweetheart Tom: A Single Red Apple

14th September 2015:
I told you in my last review that I was curious. And my curiosity has brought me back here!

Blaise as the evil queen? I'm intrigued, and he really is creeping me out. I wonder what what you'll do with him going forward. At first, I thought it was weird when you switched back to the Fleur and Bill story line so soon. Then you intertwined it so well at the end, and I was like 'Okay, now it all makes sense.' Well, not all really. I still have a lot of questions. And that concerns me because there's only one more chapter up and it probably doesn't have that many answers!!!

I do want to take a moment to appreciate the beautiful descriptions in this chapter as well. My favourite one is Blaise's description of the sky around the end, and also his description (and I suppose thoughts?) of apples. The apples one was kind of weird, but in a really good way. And it all gets more brilliant when the chapter title is about apples!

AND YAY! THERE'S MORE BILL/FLEUR. I'm so excited! I've only recently started appreciating Fleur and thinking about how awesome she is! I loved how when she didn't find her grandmother, she just thought, "Oh well, I'll go to the market and have an adventure." The poor thing didn't know how much of an adventure was waiting for her there though. I do wonder what they're taking her away for? Could they be confusing her with her grandmother? Is that even possible?

Bill, too, is quite interesting. He's not very talkative, and it isn't like Fleur is giving him much of a chance to get too friendly. But he is gallant and he went to prison with her for who knows what. So yes, I like him already!

There are a few typos that I've noticed, but they are few. But you did mention you plan to go back and edit as soon as you can, so. I had two others but the note I was copying them into got closed accidentally. But I still have the last one I copied, so...

"apart from when she angry" You're missing 'was' here.

Now I'll sit here and try to decide if I want to devour the next chapter right away or if I want to save it for later so I can savour it.

But you're doing such amazing work with this story, I'm in awe!

I'm putting this review in for the BvB as well.


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Review #17, by manno_malfoySweetheart Tom: Little Red Riding Hood

14th September 2015:
Hey there, Laura! So I FINALLY managed to come around and see what you've been up to with writing recently! And, oh my God! You've always been amazing and I'm sure I've told you that on multiple occasions, but this is just so incredibly creative! I can definitely see now why this story is nominated for Most Original. It's just brilliant!

I loved the cryptic start with the very detailed and embellished descriptions. You did manage to give it this fairy-tale essence from the get go. And the way you've worded all these descriptions really is marvellous and unique. I've noticed that throughout the chapter, you didn't only focus on what could be seen but also what could be heard, and I liked that a lot.

I enjoyed how you didn't tell us who the character is right away, but kept gradually feeding us clues here and there. I had it narrowed down to the four Delacour ladies we know once the French phrases popped up. And since you mentioned the grandmother, I eliminated Victoire and Dominique. But I did enjoy the guessing game.

And speaking of the French... I felt that there was a perfect amount of it to maintain the integrity of Fleur as a character but not too much so that it'd overwhelm the readers. Despite my background with French (which did make me understand all that was written), I did feel that you've provided some context clues around the French bits, and that's quite a good way to deal with it.

AND YAY! It's a Fleur and Bill story? Or do we focus on other characters the next chapter? I really haven't read any Fleur/Bill stories before, so I'd be very thrilled if it is!

Oh, and ending the chapter on a cliffhanger... That's kinda mean. There's this mysterious air to it all, and I'm so curious to see what it's all going to be about!

This is for the BvB! I'm so glad I caught you there!


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Review #18, by manno_malfoyThe Teddy Bet: Flower Girls, and Unicorns, and Bets, Oh My!

10th September 2015:
D'aww! That's the first think I could think of once I had finished reading the story. I'm sure it was a challenge to find a premise where you could bring Neville and Andromeda in an interesting story, but I think you've done really well with that!

I do admire Andromeda a lot; she definitely is one of my favourite characters. And it was a lot of fun for me to see the relationship between her and little Teddy in this story. I particularly liked the part where she said she could tell when Teddy (AND Nymphadora) were using their metamorphagus skills. And her confidence in her own abilities of detection are on point characterisation for me.

I also think that you've written Hagrid pretty well too in the wedding scene.

I could totally imagine Teddy being the flower girl, especially at that age. I really am not sure why there's a gender for that role in weddings, but then again, weddings are weird. I was very happy they decided to let him do it in the end anyway. And that you had him sorted into Hufflepuff because that's my favourite headcanon of him.

The writing style you've chosen to use, although slightly nontraditional and not very formal, seemed to work well with the other elements of the story. And it definitely helped with making the story feel lighthearted.

Oh, and I do have one tiny thing that I question. Is Andromeda residing where Tonks and Lupin used to live before they died? Because you did say that the owl arrived at the 'Tonks-Lupin home'. But that's all, really.

I thought that this was such a fun, quick read. And it did make me smile on multiple occasions!

Thanks for the swap!


Author's Response: Aw, I'm happy I made you D'aww. That was pretty much exactly the reaction I was going for with this story. ...and my other Teddy story, now that I think about it. I guess I just think young Teddy is a very D'aww-worthy character, so to speak. : P

And Teddy actually popped up really quickly when I set about to write a story with both Neville, Andromeda and a dungeon in it. First, of course, the dungeons of Hogwarts sprang to mind, and as Neville is a teacher at Hogwarts it wasn't a big jump to him being there. Andromeda showing up in a Hogwarts dungeon seemed less likely, though, because most people at Hogwarts are students... and guess who's a student with a connection to Andromeda? The bet and the unicorn were actually the most difficult parts, haha. ^. ^

It's funny that we both chose stories with Andromeda as a main character for our swap. She's never been one of my favourite characters, but reading some stories about her lately - yours definitely included! - has made her grow on me a lot. She's definitely one of those fascinating background character in the HP books that just has to have such a fascinating backstory, but it's hardly touched on at all. Perfect for fanfiction, haha! But in this story I'm focusing on her later life rather than her backstory, I guess... I really wanted to show that she has some light and happiness in her life even after all she lost. I'm happy that you think her relationship with Teddy and her characterisation here works! It means extra much coming from an Andromeda fan!

And yes, writing Hagrid... every fic writer's nightmare, it would seem. It's a difficult balance between having him stay in character and yet not make him less intelligent than he actually is, you know? I'm happy you think I succeeded pretty well. : )

I've always been fascinated by flower girls, as they aren't necessarily a thing in Swedish weddings - they might have gotten more common under the American influence on every part of culture though... : / But yeah, it's a pretty foreign practise to me and I think that's what drew me to exploring having a boy as a flower girl.

And Hufflepuff Teddy is now not just headcanon but actual canon, yay! (I mean, I'm a bit torn on the whole 'Rowling keeps giving out canon tidbits' thing, but it's always fun to be right, haha!)

I'm happy you think the writing style works. I was really worried about it before I posted this, but everybody who's reviewed the story (this far) has said it works, so that's really reassuring. As for the Tonks-Lupin thing, it was something I chose just because Teddy is a Lupin, not a Tonks, and I have a different last name than one of my parents and thinks it's important to include the kid too, haha. : P

All in all, thanks for this lovely review. It was a joy swapping with you! : )


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Review #19, by manno_malfoyChai, Carrots, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Carrots, and a Surprise

10th September 2015:
Hello! I'm here for reading week and I must say that the title of this story really drew me in. Well, that and the fact that I have a thing for Neville. And that's why I was so happy to see him written so well!

First of all, I really enjoyed the cooking aspect of this story. I'm such a foodie and sometimes, I wish I had more time to cook. So this spoke to me on so many levels! What really worked for me is Hannah's struggle with using names of spices in English. And that she needed 'ghee'. That clicked right on with me because for those of us with English as a second language, and with growing up in a household where food is called something completely different, it really is difficult. But you're right, it's extra hard with spices. I had to look up what cardamom was. But yeah, what I'm trying to say is that this gave such an authenticity to the story and spoke volumes about Hannah and where she comes from.

Neville was so amazingly written! I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading his sentences that trailed off and that he continued in his head. His awkwardness but also his honesty and friendliness... And I do agree that it takes A LOT of bravery to switch careers. I was glad to see that he looked up to Hannah as a role model in this particular situation.

The chemistry between the two of them was fantastic. I mean, he tried to bake for her! That's just SO SWEET. Even though Neville is struggling throughout the story to say something about how he feels, there was an ease between them in the conversations, and how he tried to be funny anyway even though he knew he wasn't good at it. That shows how comfortable he was around her while at the same time, all the other elements --the goosebumps, the awkward pauses-- showed how eager he was to take this to the next level but also how scared he was of it all. And that, in my opinion, is exactly how one should feel around a crush that could potentially go somewhere.

And I was so proud of him when he finally went for it and kissed her!

Now, I understand from the author note that there are other stories like this one? I do plan to check those out as well because I really, really enjoyed this!


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Review #20, by manno_malfoyBeyond Repair: Sailing

10th September 2015:
Hello! I'm still here!

I think it's just so cute! Short and sweet, indeed!

"Petunia looked up at the warmth of a small hand taking hold of her own, gifting her a warmth that thawed her fear into something malleable, pulling her gently back into their magic."

That was, once again, perfect! I just really admire the focus you put on the magic that is childhood. It's basically the magic she and Petunia got to share before she (Lily) was introduced to the more tangible form of magic that would eventually set them apart.

The blend between the imaginary scenes in their heads and the furniture and other objects in the room was a brilliant way to write this part. And all the sailor dialect was a nice touch as well!

Over all, I really did enjoy all three stories. Each of them could definitely stand on its own, but reading them all together just engulfed me in the mood and in the developing bond between the two girls. And I would love to see where you take the two of them along the timeline next!

But you're doing some marvellous work here so far! I've enjoyed the three little anecdotes immensely!


Author's Response: Childhood *is* magic isn't it? :)

When I was writing this, I was afraid the blending between reality and fantasy would be confusing, but it seems like that wasn't an issue. Yay!

"Each of them could definitely stand on its own, but reading them all together just engulfed me in the mood and in the developing bond between the two girls."
--> It put the biggest smile on my face to read this! Thank you!

I am really loving writing this story, and I'm excited to continue it as they get older. I plan to go all the way up to Lily's death, so there is much more to come.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read and review my story! I really appreciate it so much, and your reviews were just amazing to read!

:hug: Renee

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Review #21, by manno_malfoyBeyond Repair: Don't Let Go

10th September 2015:
Awh. No, really, that's all I have to say. Awh. This touched me a lot because my fondest memories with my sister are of riding bikes, and this story is making weird feelings well up in me. Awh!

The way you started the chapter was just incredibly captivating. Saying the Petunia 'is magic' is practically rubbing salt into the wound because we know that this is exactly what breaks them apart in the future. That she isn't magic. But the way you've explained what Lily considered magical about Petunia is so perfect and soothing and kept a smile on my face all the way to the end of the chapter. Really. This is SUCH a memorable opening line! Simple, but memorable.

I really do love the overall simplicity. The friendship between sisters is something that is so natural but also always changing as they grow, and you portray that so well in this chapter! I can see why you're proud of it.

Ooh! And I do like they're reading Matilda! It's such a good book! And now that I think about it, Matilda's telekinesis abilities could practically count as magic, so was Lily aspiring to be like her an intended nod at Lily's magical future?

Lily's determination with the bike and how outgoing she was through the entire process does demonstrate important qualities that we know about her. I do believe though that she was slightly too calm about her injury, especially if it was as bloody as you've describe it. Although it's cool and believable that she could heal herself (and not think that there's anything odd about it), I think slight fear or a little bit of wincing would be an appropriate primary reaction? But that's just a small thing...

I did love that despite their little spat the previous day, Petunia decided to help Lily learn to ride the bike anyway. In my personal experience, siblings, especially at such a young age, forgive each other very quickly. And a lot of the time, it doesn't even require an apology, as much as actions that prove that words were not sincere. And this is exactly what you've done here, and it's just spectacularly realistic. All of it.

I do see that there's another chapter after this one, so I'll go take a look at that!


Author's Response: So, I wrote a response to this review, and I don't know where it went??? Weird.


I actually ended up removing that bit about Matilda, because (to my surprise) Matilda wasn't published until quite a while later. Sad news. But I loved the connection between the story and Lily's magic. I wish I could have kept it.

Thank you very much for the compliments about this story. I'm so happy it brought back fond memories for you!

AND thank you very much for the feedback - I have actually edited the story now using advice from you and other reviewers. YAY for helpful reviews! :D

Thanks again, dear!

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Review #22, by manno_malfoyBeyond Repair: Daddy's Little Flowers

10th September 2015:
Hello! So you had said on the forums earlier that you're proud of a story in this collection. And when I saw that it's about Lily and Petunia, I decided that I HAVE to read it. I'm just really interested in pre-Hogwarts Lily.

I did enjoy this small introduction to the story. The title of the chapter and the idea itself is very smart. It's always a shock for the first child when they're no longer the centre of attention, and it does take a while to process. I liked the Petunia was both, happy that Lily's here but also slightly confused now that she isn't 'the only flower'. So it's all realistic! But I do hope we get to see them being friends and that this slight natural jealousy wears off as it's replaced by companionship.

The over all mood of this chapter, small as it is, is perfect! There's warmth and joy but also a hint of exhaustion that you've managed to channel.

I think that this was such a solid start and I'm heading over to the next chapter right now to see where it all goes!


Author's Response: Hi Manno!

I've been putting off responding to your reviews because they were such a wonderful surprise and I kind of liked seeing them in my "Unanswered Reviews" but I suppose I shouldn't keep you waiting anymore.

It was so, so kind of you to read this story, let alone leave such nice reviews! :hug:

I am really pleased that you liked this little opening chapter! I felt weird writing it since Petunia can't even talk yet - thank you for saying it was a smart idea! :D

I love how you sum up this chapter as "warmth, joy, and a hint of exhaustion" because that is exactly what I was going for. So yay!

Thank you again!

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Review #23, by manno_malfoyBlind: Blind

10th September 2015:
Hello! I'm here for the BvB! There are several stories on your AP that I wanted to check out, but I just naturally gravitate towards anything that has Rose. I just love her! And that made this story a bit hard for me because it was sad.

I really admire the Rose you've written here because she took full responsibility for her unrequited love. How could she blame him when she's never said anything?! It just shows such a maturity that I really do respect, and says a lot about her and makes it easy to see what sort of a character she is. And that's important in such a short story.

I loved the beginning where she said she always thought of him 'as furniture'. It just struck me as an interesting way of saying that he was home to her. And when it was followed by elaborating on all the moments where he'd been there to support her and help her get through tough times, it was all reinforced to make an impact.

It was lovely to see her be strong for him despite her feelings, the way he'd always been for her. She reassured him, regardless of how difficult it was. She could have been selfish and ruined the day and it'd all work out in her favour, but no. She cared for him, and it shows.

This was such a sad, but lovely story all the same! You've done such a great job with it and I really enjoyed it!


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Review #24, by manno_malfoyTraitorous Hearts: The Malediction Perfidious

9th September 2015:
I'd like to start by saying that I'll TRY to write a proper review, but that probably ain't gonna happen. I just want Ginny and Astoria to be my best friends; it would solve 75 percent of my all the problems in my life. But I'll get into the details regarding the lovely ladies of this story later on.

I'm not sure what problems you were facing with Draco while writing this chapter, but I didn't see any signs of the struggle. His attitude is consistent throughout all the chapters so far. He thinks he's so shrewd but he's just getting more and more obnoxious. How does he even know about any of those things?! I know he's going through a lot, and I do like that you showed that in this chapter, but I just want him to stop asking stupid questions and ask Astoria out for coffee. But that would take away all the fun from the story, so you carry on as you are.

Oooh, and I loved the little detail about how the dress she was wearing was concealing the signs of her nervousness. It just adds this super realistic touch to everything.

This is the line where I, as always, commend you on the way you describe households and objects. This time it was tea cups and saucers, but it was stellar all the same!

And now, finally, I can talk about the ladies! OH MY GOD! Lavinia! Like you said, she spends the entire story in the grave, but I feel like I already know her. As Astoria came to realise that her mother had cast a curse on her for keeping secrets, I was like, "Yep, that sounds like something Lavinia would do. Yep." I thought the magic behind this that you've invented is brilliant (you have invented it, right? My brain can't be missing such an important curse!). The description of the scar is also brilliant! And the scene in the Hospital Wing with Madam Pomfrey just made my heart do funny things. I was very happy to see the softer side of Astoria. After all, she's essentially just a kid. And with all the mind games we've seen her run the past few chapters, it may be easy to forget that. And above all of that, it must've been very difficult to absorb that her mother might do something like this to her. You've shown all of that perfectly well in the chapter.

AND GINNY! THAT GIRL IS SO BRILLIANT IN THIS STORY, I JUST CAN'T WITH HER! I love how conniving she is. Astoria can insult her and her Gryffindor qualities all she wants, but that doesn't change the fact that Ginny is doing some marvellous, sly things and is doing them so well that no one can trace it back to her. Unless stupid Draco has, then we may have a tiny problem. BUT STILL. SHE IS SO AWESOME. Am I coming off as juvenile?

Ahem, okay, apparently I've written an essay. But there were a lot of things going on in the chapter and I wanted to address them all, so yeah...

I did enjoy everything! ALL OF IT! And I'll be back soon for the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hey Manno! Lovely to see you again! Thanks so much for this wonderful review :D

Haha, this is a great review! Never mind propriety! (three words that have never been uttered aloud in the Greengrass house).

I'm glad you thought Draco came across well...or badly, but, you know, well. You see what I mean. I was just initially having trouble breaking into his POV, if I remember right. I was trying to latch onto his thoughts and his voice, and it just took a while to find it. Elphaba&Boyfriends suggested, basically, "Just have him judge something.' Which was brilliant advice, because it turns out that the perfect way to tap into Draco Malfoy is by looking down your nose at something. Yup, you're above it all, Draco. Just keep critiquing other people's china. He's down, all right, but even in his diminished state, he can't quite help but noticing that his things are nicer...or they were, anyway, before Voldemort came around and ruined everything. The thoughts don't seem to give him much satisfaction, though, do they?

"He thinks he's so shrewd but he's just getting more and more obnoxious. How does he even know about any of those things?!"--Astoria, is that you? I didn't know you read this?

Hahaha, that just cracks me up. I feel like you've put the essence of her inner monologue into two sentences. It's all tea and crumpets, but underneath she's just seething. "Who is this guy? I hate him. Why does he know all this? Reveal nothing!" :D

I love that image. "So, this is a bit awkward seeing as how I might literally be the death of you, but do you fancy a coffee? I'm often busy, what with the Death Eating and such, but a fellow's got to have something to drink as well, yeah? 'Man does not live on Death alone, and all that.' What, is that not how it goes?"

Yay! Thank you! I love knowing what lines and details people like. That really helps me. I'm glad you enjoyed those!

OH MY GOSH, right?! Poor Astoria. I'm really excited that you feel like you know Lavinia, though. Her story isn't over. It's hard, of course, because Astoria was so close to her mother, it feels like such a betrayal. She's done all this to *avenge* Lavinia, and she nearly dies at Lavinia's own hand! A whole host of emotional issues there. Why do Purebloods never have even relatively simple family lives, I ask you? But I'm really glad that you were able to reconcile that with your idea of Lavinia. She's a complex character, with lots of different motivations and aims. I don't want to say any more on the subject though, lest the spoilers creep in.

The curse is original, yeah! I am SO EXCITED that you liked it! A lot of people who commented it were like, "That's horrifying," and I was like "YES", because obviously I wanted it to seem really awful and scarring. BUT I'm really happy to get a response from someone who thinks it's cool, because *I* always liked it. I mean, it's terrible, but I was also kinda proud of it. It was nice to finally let Astoria show a little bit of vulnerability.

My smile is so big right now! Thanks! I adore Ginny, and writing her is a blast. You're absolutely right--she's doing marvelous things! And Astoria knows that--it's part of why she respects her, if a little begrudgingly--but Gryffindor thinking baffles her, and she tends to think that things she doesn't understand aren't very sensible. A bit of that Pureblooded arrogance couldn't help but creep in, but I kind of love her for it.

That would, indeed, be a *tiny* problem.

I don't think you're coming across as juvenile at all. I'm SO excited that you're loving it, and I can't wait to hear your opinions on later chapters. I LOVED your essay. My smile is taking up half my face. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING SEVERAL OF MY DAYS WITH THIS AWESOME REVIEW!!! Much love.


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Review #25, by manno_malfoyThe Decision: Chapter 1

8th September 2015:
Hello! So I've been wanting to start reading your stories ever since I've come back onto the forums, and I'm very glad I finally did! And let me get it out of the way before I start talking about this story, but I think what you're doing with trying to participate in every challenge on the forums is pretty awesome!

I think that the hardest stories to write are the ones about characters that everyone dislikes. Peter Pettigrew isn't a character that I read about often, but I quite enjoyed this little story about him. I must say that I still couldn't sympathise with him too much.

I did a little bit when he started thinking about Marlene and feeling bad about her death. But I thought that would propel him towards trying to protect the rest of his living friends, not the opposite... But of course, he did he have a bit of a selfish streak.

The indecisiveness was obvious and well-illustrated! He thought of Lily and how much he appreciated her (and that bit made me light up because you would expect him to have been a normal teenager at most points and it's important to remember that, especially when we're looking into a turning point in his life). And then came the justifications for giving up the secret. He'd call them 'justifications', but I'd call them petty excuses for being a horrid friend.

But I do suppose that if James and Sirius had been nicer to him, MAYBE he would've had one less excuse, and who knows... MAYBE he would have kept his mouth shut. It's an interesting prospect, really, that he might've done it out of feeling a lack of appreciation.

I thought that you really reinforced that he wasn't doing this to hurt James and Lily but solely to protect himself was when he was trying to mislead the Dark Lord. And I did admire that he at least tried. I just tried to cling to every bit of hope that he'd turn around and leave before he let on too much. But of course, that couldn't have happened.

I think Peter is such a complex character. Petty, but complex, and I do believe you brought out both aspects in this story.

Thanks for the swap! And I do look forward to reading more of your stories soon!


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