Reading Reviews From Member: slytherinchica08
  
1,097 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slytherinchica08Knight Takes Queen: Rook

26th September 2014:
Wow! This was written so beautifully! I loved the description that you put into this chapter! I could see everything that you were describing and this was probably some of the best description that I've read recently. It all flowed so well together and was a really interesting concept to think about. I loved that this dealt with merpeople especially since they are something that aren't even very well known in the HP universe so really cool to include them. The ending was beautiful with the sun peaking out and everything. The best part for me was that even though there was no conversations in this, I never felt overloaded by the description or anything. It all just kept coming and then suddenly I was at the end. I'm definitely interested in reading more of this to see what happens now between her and the merman. I liked the intrigue that she had towards him, wanting to experience and understand him, it seemed very Ravenclaw of her to thirst for more knowledge. Anyways great job on this it was very interesting and you can expect me to come by again to read more! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey there, Erica! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I really loved writing this because of the inclusion of the magical creature, so I could be more descriptive than usual - which I loved! Merpeople were so much fun to write in this - I love the idea of a humanoid race, who are like us in so many ways, but so different to us in so many others, and it was so much fun to explore that. Rowena was such a great character to write, as well - as soon as the HC prompts went up and I wanted to write something in support, even though I can't enter, I knew I wanted to do her - it seemed so fitting, haha :P Plus, it meant I could play up the curiosity element and include the discovery and choice of the location of Hogwarts, which seemed to me to be easy ways to get in the magical creatures :P

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, it was so great to get - and thank you for all the compliments! It was a strange piece to write, but I loved doing it, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #2, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: Three

26th September 2014:
Oh I liked this a lot! I thought that it was really sweet and just a fun little read! The ending bit when Remus mentioned that he had been with Sirius before and she asked if he liked women was just really funny. Especially her response. It was just a cute little look into how they got together exactly.

The idea that Dumdledore advised for the DADA professors to join the Aurors in training before beginning school is definitely a unique idea and one that I very much like! I thought that it set this story a part from others and was a very great detail to add and now something that I think should just be a canon thing to have!

To be honest, I'm a little sad that this is the ending of this story. I would definitely love to see more about this love between Remus and Tonks that you have included and maybe even a wrap up part that would bring Teddy back into the story and explain how he felt reading all of this. I think that adding that would really bring a different dimension to the story and make it even better (not that it isn't already great because it is) but I think tying things in would really put a nice clean bow on the ending. As it is, this ending is wonderful and was a really cute look into how they got together! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #3, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: Two

26th September 2014:
Oh my gosh all the feels of this chapter! Like seriously this felt so real to me. I could see the Tonks and Remus that we know and love and yet you've expanded on them and made them come to life so much more for me! Seriously I felt so much in this small chapter its just crazy! I really felt bad for both Remus and Tonks. Tonks for the fact that Remus always doubts himself and tends to get scared way too easily (which is rather funny for a Gryffindor but very much true due to his wolfishness). And then there is Remus who is always working through the stigma of being a wolf and he is so scared to lose her and to mess things up. I thought that this chapter was really well put together and was a wonderful look into what it was like for them to be together. I'm very much interested to see where you take the next (and last) chapter of this story. I think their love is definitely one that isn't thought about much but the way you have portrayed it so far is really lovely and realistic and while its not a perfect love (because of course there is no such thing) it is a love and they are working together to get through things. Great chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #4, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: One

26th September 2014:
Oh what a wonderful premise for this story! Rose was definitely lucky to be on the receiving end of one of your stories as you are a fantastic writer! I really liked this first chapter as I felt that it set this story up wonderfully. The reasoning behind his grandmother not really telling any information is definitely realistic, it is hard when you've lost someone and you really do feel that you need someone to blame and Remus was her escape! I love the feeling that Tonks knew that her son would wonder about her and Remus and how they fell in love and how things came to be for them. It says something wonderful about both him and her, that she understood her son even before really getting to know him. And the fact that Teddy wants to know about his parents love is pretty amazing as well. I love how Harry came into play and then remembered that she had left a letter to be given to her son when he was old enough to understand everything. I very much look forward to the next chapter and seeing where this story will take us. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #5, by slytherinchica08Trixangela Snape: Year 1: The Prologue

26th September 2014:
A very interesting beginning to your story! It definitely gives us the background information needed to set this story on the right track and also, as other readers have suggested, give us a lot of questions to ask, which can be helpful to make the reader continue to read on to find out the answers. I definitely have some of my own questions that I hope get answered in the future but for now, they will burn in my mind begging me to continue reading so I can find out what happens.

Overall, I think this seems like a great beginning. The characters are basically true to the versions that we know which is always wonderful to see. I felt so bad that Lily was taken from them once more and while they did get extra time with her that they would not have had, she was still taken much sooner than they anticipated.

The idea for this story is also really original, the thought that Harry was able to bring his mom back some how and that she no longer possessed any magic from that is a really unique take on things. I'm definitely interested in finding out what happened that made it so Harry had been able to bring her back as it seems like there might be something more there that will come into play in the future. Any ways, it was a great chapter and I look forward to reading the next!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I am glad you found it interesting. I try to be different from everyone else, somehow or another.

We'll find out how he brought her back, when it becomes the topic in the story :)


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Review #6, by slytherinchica08It shouldn't be like that: I

26th September 2014:
A very interesting concept. I loved that Pansy was the spy as that definitely wasn't what I was thinking. The flashbacks were wonderful and helped clear up questions that I had and while I feel bad for Ginny, I also think that someone else will be out there for her, she just doesn't know who it is yet. I love that Hermione is with Draco in this as that's my OTP! I thought this was very well done and an interesting read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #7, by slytherinchica08The Brethren: The Escape

26th September 2014:
I thought that this was a very interesting beginning and while its pretty short, it does set up your story rather nicely. I know that it was years ago that this story was posted and the odds of you even seeing this review is slim but I still thought that I would stop by and let you know that you do have a great beginning. The description is wonderful and the opening gives the readers some information without an over load of information as well as giving us some questions to ask such as why he is leaving his house and what his plans are. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #8, by slytherinchica08Only a Piece of Wood: Hogwarts Newest Addition

26th September 2014:
I really like this look into what it was like for Oliver when he first left for school! I very much look forward to seeing just where this story will go for him. I found his internal thoughts to be really well done and loved that he was worried about where he was going to be but yet at the same time, he wasn't. Also the fact that you have him thinking that being in Hufflepuff wouldn't be so bad is also a really nice detail as a lot of times Hufflepuff is really over looked so I thought it added a nice touch. I loved the bit in the robe shop where he meets Higgs and ends up in a fight with him because he uses the word Mudblood. I thought the whole chapter was really sweet and I definitely look forward to reading more and seeing just where you are going to take us! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: I love this story and I'm happy to see you enjoyed it. I just have no inspiration for it so far, but it'll be back up in 2015, until then I'll just be editing the story. Thank you for the review on this story :)

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Review #9, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

25th September 2014:
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I swear I should never read your story while I'm at work for fear of me tearing up and gasping, and yelling at my screen for all that you are putting me through.

I felt so bad for Al and Scorp in this chapter, as well as everyone else, but to me those two really stood out and made me feel so horribly for them. Al is definitely a powerful wizard, you can see that very clearly with these past few chapters and I can only imagine that that is going to come into play in the future chapters. Scorp is also powerful in his own right but definitely not nearly as powerful as Al. I still love the dynamic you have between the two as friends. They lean on each other and understand each other so well and its just a really nice to see. You can really feel Scorps pain in this chapter. He feels like he let her down, not knowing that she had all these scars on her body. But of course, Rose has been very careful to make sure that no one knew about them so its not his fault about that. Although with the ending it seems like something did happen in the past where Scorpius let Rose down and it seems like maybe it had something to do with this whole situation. But I guess only time will really tell for me.

I love how well these chapters flow. I never trip over anything while reading and there aren't any mistakes that glare out at me either. Its all just really well written and very enjoyable to read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi!

I have to admit, I did chuckle a bit at this review. I didn't mean to make you gasp or tear up. But this chapter is pretty intense. Actually, it is the first thing I wrote for this story. I wrote from here forward and then filled in the previous chapters.

Scorpius just... doesn't know what to do with himself. He wants so, so much to be there for Rose, but he just doesn't know how to approach her. He doesn't want to disregard her horrible experiences, but also doesn't want to make her feel like a victim.

The past experiences between Rose and Scorp are the ones mentioned earlier - when he was sleeping around Hogwarts. He didn't know she had feelings for him (*she* didn't even know that) and he was still grieving for his parents. Nonetheless, they two of them danced around each other and never quite took that step - they were just really good friends.

Thanks for the compliment about the flow of writing - I'm so relieved. I edit each chapter several times, and read and reread, so it's good to know that is coming through. (sometimes you read it over so many times, you don't even know what it's saying anymore - haha)

♥ Beth


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Review #10, by slytherinchica08slowly: and then all at once

25th September 2014:
Sarah this was such a wonderful and cute oneshot and I just adored it! The thing I really like about it, is that the guy waiting for her really could be anyone so it leaves it up to the reader to imagine her soon to be husband and his reactions and what he looks like and there is a part of me that really likes that! This was just so cute and I really liked how you fit the quote into the story without actually having the quote in it! The idea that walking down the aisle is just like falling in love all over again is another really cute detail you added to this. I definitely could feel her excitement and anxiousness to get to him and how at first she kind of wanted to hide but then once she saw him waiting for her, he was the push she needed to continue on, and then her father had to hold her in place instead of pulling her along. I could definitely see Harry doing this and gah this whole thing just had me smiling so much and I feel like such an idiot smiling away at my computer at work but it just brought all these feels to me! This was really well done and very enjoyable! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey Erica! I'm so glad that you liked this one-shot. I worked really hard on making sure it flowed to the music and with the quote that I put at the beginning and the end. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and the way the whole story worked. I have a thing for weddings and engagements, and this particular piece was probably my favorite to write so far!

Thanks so much for the review!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #11, by slytherinchica08Dizzy: Dizzy

23rd September 2014:
Ahaha! This was such a cute and sweet story! I loved your characters they were simply fun and I couldn't help but smile at everything! The description in this was wonderful as well and I was very happy with the balance between description and conversation that you had in this. I love the secret that she has and while we don't see his reaction to the news, it was still really cute and I can imagine what will happen when she finally does tell him. Your original character seems really nice and like she may be a bit accident prone. I feel like maybe I've discussed your novel about these characters or read it some where because I feel like I remember discussing a character named sweet and being a Freddy story. I thought this was a cute look into their life together and seeing how they work together. I also liked how you tied the story title into the actual story as well as the quote about wanting their kids to be as crazy as they are I felt like it fit in really well! Great job!

~slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks for such a wonderful review! You actually talked to me about my NaNo novel, which is about Sweets and Freddie! I'm impressed you remembered that; I can barely remember what I read this morning!

Thanks for the kind words! I'll be reviewing your story soon! :)

-Leigh


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Review #12, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Besieged: Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Oh my goodness NO! And things were beginning to progress so well for Rose, but I did really like this chapter a lot as it continued to give us a little bit more of the background story. I do love how you are giving us that background information, its just small bits here and there and they just fit so well into the story line and it doesn't feel forced or anything and its just really wonderful! I wonder though how these events are going to affect Rose and her relationships in particular, her relationship with Scorpius as I can see it going either way, with her needing him around more to feel more protected, or wanting to stay away from everyone. With each chapter, I continue to find myself wanting more information to figure out what is going on and how this is all going to end up and while I know that only reading on will really tell me... gosh I really just want to know now! This is such a wonderful story and I'm really finding this very addictive and its definitely among my top stories! This is such a great read and I'm really glad that I came across it in the review tag. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi,

Yeah, this chapter was a bit different than the previous few. Rose seemed so happy and on her way to healing when it all comes crashing down. :( I also wanted Rose to come to terms with her torture. She's hidden it for so long, if she kept up the ruse, it would've gotten in the way of her and Scorpius's relationship. I really didn't want this particular story to be about how they can't get around each other. I have *other* things planned...

I'm so excited that you are hooked on this story. I really, really hope I don't disappoint you - haha!

Aaah! among your top stories! I just. Oh my - THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And I saw you nominated it for a Dobby - I'm just so overwhelmed by all of it, I don't know what to say.

I really, really appreciate all of the reviews.

Thanks again,

♥ Beth


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Review #13, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Better: Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Ah another wonderful chapter. I really liked the look into Roses pov of these events and what brought her to Harry's office. I like how she had a motherly instinct that took over her and she immediately started fixing the scraps and cuts and broken bones that had come from Harry and Al's duel. I loved the bit about Harry and how much he loves Rose and how much he wanted a daughter. I thought it was really sweet to include in the chapter and really added another dynamic to their relationship rather than just being Uncle and niece. I was so sad about how short that this chapter was but I did feel that it ended in a great spot so I can understand why it is so short. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of the story and I apologize that this review isn't nearly as long as the others. But it was a wonderful chapter and I greatly enjoyed it! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey!

So glad you picked up on Rose's Healer instincts. She really feels like a different person when she is in that mode. And that comes back in later chapters.

I know this one was short - sorry - but I wanted a little sweetness between Rose and Harry and then to get Rose and Scorp moving again!

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #14, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bitter: Scorpius POV

23rd September 2014:
AHAHAH! That ending was just so perfect and amazing and I can't stop smiling and chuckling at it! I really liked this chapter a lot! You really have done a great job with this story and the voice is just so wonderful and so well done. The whole thing flows together so well and I quickly find myself finished with the chapter wondering where it has gone and wanting to continue reading!

I really loved your characterization in this! Each person really came to life in this chapter from the small mentions of Ron and Teddy to Harry and Rose and Al and Scorp. Each one was portrayed so wonderfully and different from each other and so realistic. I loved how relaxed you had Ron while Harry and Al were getting rather heated during their duel and then the bits about Teddy starting off as relaxed and then slowly catching on to how things were becoming. Then there is the bit where Scorp stepped in and diffused the situation and made it seem like that was really all there was going to be of the duel was also a really nice touch to add! So really the characterization in this chapter was completely spot on and wonderful!

I really like the relationship between Al and Scorp. They definitely act a bit like brothers, teasing each other and also understanding each other without having to really say anything. The small look we got into Scorps date/not date with Rose was really cute too and I thought it was a nice little touch! And then there is the bit with Harry and I was just gushing! I loved how he didn't realize just how much stress he was really putting on Al but then because of this duel, he ended up realizing that he needed to do a better job of letting people know when they have done a good job on something. It was a very realistic trait to add in and really brought Harry's character even more to life. And then I loved how Harry still treats Scorpius a bit like a son as well, caring for his feelings and not really wanting to admit that he believes that Albus is the best in the class, but then also giving Scorpius the compliment that he is really good at diffusing situations, which I believe could very much come in handing especially as an Auror.

Really this whole chapter was so well put together and all of the small little details that went into it really stood out to me. Things like naming the exams S.N.A.K.Es and explaining what they meant really made this story a bit more grounded into the universe that we already know and I love that you have extensive training that needs to be done as well as exams that need to be passed as I think that's a very realistic thing to add to the story. There were a few small typos that I noticed throughout the chapter, but they were very few and didn't mess with the flow of the story at all so not a big deal.

The pacing is wonderful and everything just flows so well together. I'm honestly going to be very sad when I end up at the end of the posted chapters and then have to wait on updates because I want to know what is going to happen now! Also Scorpius and Rose must get together, they are just so cute together in everything that you have already portrayed and I just want them to be happy. Anyways, great job and I look forward to reading the next chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi there!

Holy cow, this review was so amazing. I can't tell you how excited I am that you like my story. I just get so elated when I check online and you've left me one for another chapter. Thanks ♥

Al and Scorp are pretty much brothers, but that doesn't stop Al from being a bit over-protective of Rose. He's not gonna let Scorpius get away with anything. I think he just sees that they are perfect for each other.

Scorpius can lose his temper at time (usually when it comes to Rose), but overall, he is the cooler head. He also has the ability to calm others and see the big picture.

Haha - I just can't get past the fact the Ron will always be a *tiny* bit clueless.

So glad you like the S.N.A.K.E.s! I did put a bit of background into both the Auror and Healer training programs.

I'll check on those typos. I have a beta for this story now, but we haven't gotten to this chapter.

Glad you liked the ending :) Al just couldn't help himself - haha!

♥ Beth


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Review #15, by slytherinchica08Upper Class: Chapter One

21st September 2014:
I loved the ending of this chapter! That was just so mean and yet wonderful at the same time! It will definitely help for the dramioneness of the story and to bring that about. I always find these kind of stories my guilty pleasure as I really can't help but read them and enjoy them, including the ones where Hermione is really Blaises sister. I thought that this was a wonderful opening to your story. It sets it up perfectly and gives me a good idea of where things are going to be going from here. The only thing I can suggest would be to maybe add in some more descriptions such as the apartment and the likes. Overall though, it was a very enjoyable first chapter! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #16, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Besotted: Rose POV

20th September 2014:
Gosh with each chapter you just keep hitting me in the feels you know? Like seriously I'm just sitting here staring at my screen so happy and yet upset at how dumb they have both been/are being! How can they not see that they are meant to be for each other, come on you two get together already! GAH! I just want to lock them in Scorps room and not let them out until they have admitted how they feel to each other and finally start dating!

I liked that we got more of an idea of what happened to Rose back then, what with the marks and all,but I still have so many questions! I can tell that this isn't the full story of what happened to her, there is definitely more going on that we don't know about yet but I think that you've given us the perfect amount of information to keep your readers satisfied but yet wanting more! And that can be a really tricky balance to keep up and I think you are doing a fantastic job of it!

I love Roses pov and I can definitely see why this has won an award as its really well done! I think that this is a wonderful little gem of a story that I've stumbled upon through the review tag and I'm so glad that I have. Each chapter just continues to make me fall in love with this story and want to continue reading! The characterizations are wonderful and touching and so real. The thing I love the most about them so far is that they are done with a very realistic feeling to them. They have their faults and things that they are working through but they also have the things that are just so sweet and friendly and I just love it!

I also give you props for making up your own spell as I always find that as being one of the hardest parts. I can never seem to settle on a new spell or potion and end up reverting back to what we have already been given. The use of the different pieces in the potion were really well thought out too. I liked how you mentioned using a different ingredient the next time as the one seemed to only revert Scorp back to being drunk. It was a very inventive idea and really interesting to see and then bringing it back up in the end was a nice little tie in.

This story continues to pull me and is just absolutely wonderful. You can bet that I will be back again soon (if not today) to leave another review! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hello again,

Wow - you've blown me away with all of these amazing reviews. I'm glad that you feel so attached to the characters. I didn't want the love story to move too fast. I feel like that either feels false OR you fall into the "on again, off again" trap.

They are seriously into each other - BUT Rose still hasn't been completely honest with Scorpius about her past. I think that she needs to reconcile that for herself first before she can move on with him.

I really like coming up with my own magical ideas - and I'm so relieved that it's coming off as believable. The absolute worse thing a writer can do is make a story seem completely contrived, so that is a huge weight of my chest.

Potions are fun! I think that would've been my favorite class at Hogwarts. Sometimes, I feel it gets a bad rap because of Snape, but Rose (at least in my story) is really great at potions.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #17, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bereft: Scorpius POV

20th September 2014:
You know with every chapter that I read, I end up finding myself more and more addicted to this story and needing to find out what happens next. The voice you have is done really well and I just continue to find myself drawn in and soon I'm at the end of the chapter wondering where it went! I love Scorps pov in this and it was really nice to see how it came to be that he spent a good chunk of time at the Potter household. I love his relationship with Rose as well. They have such a solid friendship one that benefits them both really well I think. And then Al is a wonderful balance for Scorp too just being silent yet that hand on his back to let him know that he is there for him. Its really touching and wonderful and I just really love it!

The description and wording of this story so far is absolutely beautiful and to be honest I think its better than some of the stories that I have bought! This is definitely up there on my list of favorite stories as its just really well written and so addictive! With each chapter you continue to give me more of a background on your characters and answer some questions only to have more pop up in their wake!

I loved the bit with Harry and Ron, that was so funny and just really great to read! I can definitely imagine Ron over reacting to that whole scene especially once we find out that Rose is not wearing any bottoms. The characterization was really well done and just so amazing. I also liked how Daphne ends up with a muggle as I think thats really original and really added another element to this story.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure that I could continue going on about how wonderful I thought this chapter was and how much I love this story but I feel like I would basically just be repeating myself over and over so this is where I will leave it! Great Job and I look forward to reading the next chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica!

I saw you nominated this story for "Most Addicting Story" Dobby award. Oh. My. Goodness. I was floored. Thank you so much.

Both Scorpius and Rose are pretty damaged in my version. I really wanted to write something that was a bit different. I'm so, so pleased you've given it a chance. Thank you so much!

I'm just so humbled by this review that I can't even right now. I did work pretty hard to plan out most of the story. And each detail is carefully laid out. I'm so glad to see that you pick up on ally of them!

I wanted an epic love story between Rose and Scorpius, but also a mystery for the next gen characters. I hope you aren't disappointed.

Writing Ron's irate reaction was a blast. He is so awkward around girls - especially his daughter and he is going to jump at any chance to take Malfoy down a peg.

I had great fun writing Daphne's husband as well. Harry sees a lot of himself in Scorpius - they both lost their parents and Scorpius really doesn't have anywhere to go. Harry wasn't about to let history repeat itself, so he takes Scorpius in.

Thanks again! This review made me smile so much!

Beth


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Review #18, by slytherinchica08Complicated: In Which Draco Malfoy Makes A Joke

19th September 2014:
Another interesting chapter! I really liked this chapter as it gave a wonderful look into her relationships with her friends. It was really cute to see and I loved the dynamic of their friendship. Cassie seems to be the one that's a little more outgoing and willing to do anything and then there is Scorpius who is busy doting on Cassie but yet very much his own person.

The bit with Draco was probably my favorite bit of this chapter. It was really refreshing to show this side of him. A side where yes he had done some things in his past that maybe weren't the best but yet he was a changed man now, one who still chuckled at his childish antics. Also the fact that he admitted to receiving letters from Pansy, some of which were rather heated, was a nice little addition as well.

I feel bad that Olivia has to go back home and deal with her mother, as its pretty obvious that her mother knows nothing about her and that they don't get on very well. Altogether I thought that this was a wonderful chapter and I really look forward to reading the next and seeing how Albus is going to play into everything!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review :)

Cassie's definitely more outgoing than the others, but that's not to say they're shy. And I'm really glad you think Scorpius is still his own person despite how much attention he pays Cassie. I was aware that was a balance I had to be careful to get right.

Thank you so much for liking Draco! I really enjoyed writing him and definitely think he'd have changed and grown up since school, but I'm always a bit anxious that he might seem out of character.

I really appreciate the reviews and I'm so glad you're enjoying reading!

Emma xx


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Review #19, by slytherinchica08Love, Not War: Draco's Introduction

19th September 2014:
OH what a very interesting beginning. I really liked how you set up your story with this chapter. It gives us a small idea of what is going to happen ( we are going to be explained draco's side of things, how he helped Harry and about this new girl who is going to change things for him). The last few paragraphs really stood out to me. I really like the idea that Draco is going to have his story written to try and have people better understand him and what went on during his life. So I must ask, is this whole story then going to be about his story being written or I wonder how this is all going to play out. Its a very interesting concept and its one that has piqued my interest very much.

I thought this beginning was very well done. It does a great job of setting things up and allowing us to get to know the Draco that you have painted for this story. I think that he still seems very much in character here, he still seems very much about himself and wanting to improve his image and prove people wrong. I can sense some change in his character though, but not anything that seems out of character or anything, just something that comes from being in a war and experiencing things that many people never do.

I liked the look into his family life that this chapter gave as well. And probably my favorite part was the mention of how Draco thought that everyone else was wrong when it came to Voldemort. You know, it was a thought that until you mentioned it, it never crossed my mind. But now that its there I'm wondering how I never thought of that before. I mean to me it does make sense, he was raised to believe in Voldemorts cause so why wouldn't he believe that Voldemort is more the good guy and everyone else is evil, at least when he is a young enough age to just take his fathers words for everything.

Anyways, this was a great beginning and I very much look forward to reading more of this story! Thank you again for agreeing to do a review swap! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #20, by slytherinchica08Annabel: Annabel

16th September 2014:
Wow what an interesting and yet very sad chapter. I do feel so horrible for Louis in that he has loved this girl for so long but yet he had been offered a job that he had to move for and unfortunately that is when she finally decides to tell him that she loves him. This definitely has to be a horrible feeling, to love someone so much, only to have them end up with a sibling. I just can't imagine the amount of pain that would cause having to see them happy every day.

I really liked your description here. I thought it was wonderful and was really well balanced. The flashbacks were the perfect touch and really added another element to the story. The ending was really sad and left a bit open for readers to interpret how they would like. My idea is that he went off to another country to continue on trying to get over her, but then again it could also mean that he was no longer going to be alive as well. Either way it was a great ending. This chapter was really well put together and a great read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, I love this one-shot it's one of my favorites, I wrote it for a challenge. I'm really happy you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it, thank you again for the review.

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Review #21, by slytherinchica08The Wild Rose: Chapter One

16th September 2014:
So I really wanted to thank you for all the wonderful reviews and support that you have given LAWKI so I thought I would drop by and give you a random review! And man, am I glad that I did.

Seriously, how could you do this to me? I thought that this one shot was so cute and I was just excited and smiling the whole time that I was reading it. And then I hit the ending and was just like what that was so unexpected! To make matters worse, I was reading this while working so just as I hit the part about the rock, a call came in and I about gasped and had to fight for words! That ending was just so not even nice! I mean it was a fantastic ending and was definitely not expected at all but really did you have to do that to me? I just can't even word right now and its been almost an hour since I actually read the chapter!

This chapter was really well written, I liked the different pov's that you had mingled throughout the chapter and that you already started it with the murders so now it makes me wonder if maybe Scorpius is actually behind those other ones as well. This was a very interesting concept to play around with. The fact that they met up at a hotel and they began acting like a couple and then suddenly Scorpius ends up killing her. I'm still just at a loss. Why did you do this to me? Anyways, I give up on trying to word right now because I'm like mush. This was really a fantastic one shot and I'm really glad that I came by to give it a read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #22, by slytherinchica08Out of order: Bad Guy

16th September 2014:
I picked this one to read because seeing something from Mundungus Fletcher's pov is something very rare to find and that in and of it self really caught my attention. I also liked the idea that we were going to find out different information on him and see a different side to him, which this one shot did. I thought this was a great one shot, something very different, and it definitely stood out to me!

I liked that you chose a canon event to go off of, him selling that locket (or more like getting the locket taken from him). It was fun to see what exactly happened between him and Umbridge during that exchange. I also liked that he was pursued by a couple of blokes but was able to escape him.

The only thing I could really suggest to make this one shot even stronger than it already is, would be to add in some more description throughout the chapter. The beginning part is really conversation heavy while the ending is purely description/action. It would be nice to maybe add some more description of the area he's set up in, or even of Umbridge herself as he mentions her bow to Harry when confronted about the locket.

The ending was a nice touch as well, finding out that he dropped out of Hogwarts to help his sick mother was a wonderful little detail that added a lot to his character and really made me feel different for him than I ever thought I would. It was something that I never would have thought about when it came to his character but I liked how that whole thing had defined him.

Overall this was a really good one shot, definitely makes me think about him as a character and what exactly makes him tick. I liked the whole concept that he is not an overall horrible guy just that he ended up as this type of person because of the hand life has given him. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: I'm glad this stood out to you! I really wanted this to be a little different than the average fic. It certainly could be made stronger by a bit more description in the beginning. I do definitely see your point there.

It's really great that you thought the ending was pulled off! You've understood exactly what I was trying to get across here! Thank you for the swap!


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Review #23, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blown Away: Scorpius POV

14th September 2014:
Oh oh my goodness how on earth could you do this to me?
Here I was thinking that I was going to find out some pieces of
the puzzle to what's going on with Rose only to get more of a
mystery! But oh my gosh it was absolutely wonderful! I really
liked getting more of an idea of what has happened to
Scorpius to make him the way that you have him portrayed!
And not only that but this chapter also added more depth to his
character and really makes me feel for him.

This chapter did a great job of adding more interest to the
story as well making it so that the readers continue to have
more questions as we read on but yet we still get some
answers to make us happy. The pacing and flow seem to work
really well so far for this story so kudos for that! And the
description is wonderful and really does a great job of painting
the overall picture you want your readers to see!

I also liked the muggle that you added to this chapter. You
could definitely tell that he was annoying and as I read the bit
about him I found myself crinkling my nose at his character
and happy when Scorpius left him behind. But at the same
time the mention that no one else likes him and Scorpius
saying he would call him the next day perked him up made me
feel very sad for him.

The ending was the perfect touch. It kept my interest and
makes me want to read more to find out what's going on and
who killed the Malfoys! You can definitely expect me to come
back sometime soon to read more ! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Erica,

This review is so amazing - I'm still smiling from it! I'm so glad you find the pacing appropriate. Instead of a Scorpius/Rose story where they continually can't get on the same page (I'm not against those stories, I just wanted something different), I wrote a story where they both *need* each other to heal and move on.

Yeah Mason was really annoying. I feel like every neighborhood has *that* kid in it - the one that most people avoid unless they have no choice - haha!

I can't wait for you to read more - thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #24, by slytherinchica08Haunted: the gift

12th September 2014:
Oh wow, you really know how to pack a punch with your openings! This first chapter really has me intrigued as to what is going to happen in the future of this story. I like that Theo has helped the DA by giving them that potion as well as warning Ginny about a werewolf attack that is meant to make her brother a full werewolf and not just a half-breed type. This beginning holds so much potential for the rest of the story.

I really like the voice that you have in this story. I will say that I'm not used to reading many stories that speak in this pov type but I think that you've pulled it off really well, and for that I commend you! The whole chapter just flowed so well together and was very interesting. I'm excited to see how you will turn this into a Tharry and Drarry type story as it seems like that is pretty far in the future (which is great as that really gives you time to expand and open your readers up to that pairing). At the same time, you are also showing your readers that maybe, just maybe, Theo isn't so opposed to the DA and Order and that is already setting up the beginnings of brining Harry and Theo together.

I really liked the small details that you put into this chapter as well. Such as mentioning that Lavender holds a position of power only because the death eaters think they may be able to convert her seeing as she is related to the Greengrass family. Also adding in Astoria and her worry and the description that you put into her was really wonderful as well. All in all this was a really wonderful beginning to your story and I look forward to reading more! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #25, by slytherinchica08Complicated: In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

11th September 2014:
Yeah this definitely seems like a reason to hate Christmas! That's not exactly the best family type situation and to make it even worse they find out that her father has been cheating on her mother... on Christmas day. That's not an easy thing to come to terms with even in the best of situations let alone how it came out. I'm very much interested to see how you take this story and exactly how Albus will come into play. I'm glad though that Katie thought to offer her a place to stay if things get horrid at her house, that does show that her family cares, even though it seems like she is in a place where she doesn't really view them as being a family. The offer was still there and that makes all of the difference. I thought that this was a wonderful first chapter and does a good job of setting up the characters and the situation that we can expect to play out in this story. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks so much for such a lovely review. I'm glad it's caught your interest. I'll be heading over to your Dramione right now :)

Much love,

Emma xx


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