Reading Reviews From Member: slytherinchica08
  
1,110 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slytherinchica08Chasing Halls: Chasing Halls

20th June 2015:
Hey, I saw your status on the forums and thought I would stop by and give your story some love!

I loved the action that you had building up in this chapter! I could really sense him trying to run away from something and loved the thoughts of playing a game with it and trying to escape. The repetitive nature of the words in the beginning helped to really set the pace for me and really made the flow to fit the situation of the story itself.

I loved that he didn't notice when the cat stopped following him because he was so lost in his own thoughts. That was very realistic and something that I would very much expect to happen for someone when they are being chased by someone or something. The fact that this girl Miss Candice was able to sneak up on him as well was really interesting, and I wonder just how she managed to do it without being seen by the map. My suspicions for McGonagall are that Teddy probably didn't look closely enough to the map to see that she might be near but either way, I enjoyed that she happened upon the pair and had them follow her back to her office.

I'm not usually a big reader of second POV but I thought that you did a lovely job with it here! Good luck with the challenge!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi there !

Thank you for stopping by and reading this one-shot I wrote. I didn't think it was adequate enough, or that Teddy's feelings and his state of mind were clear enough when I wrote this, but thanks to your review I understand I managed and for that I'm happy.

I never wrote in second PoV or about Teddy for all that matters but the experience was different and I liked it. And thanks to your review I know I didn't fail at it which gives me courage to try it again.

Thank you again for reviewing my story !

DaaOne


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Review #2, by slytherinchica08Strangers in the End: Where is Home

7th June 2015:
Ok lets be honest, your banner completely did it for me.. like I saw it and was like yep I need to read this. And then I read the summary and was like Yep I really need to read this.

I thought that this chapter was lovely and also very sad. I enjoyed however, that you did not just have Hermione able to switch back the memory wiping spell, after all as the name says, it wipes away memories. Your version of Hermione was also wonderful and I must commend you for doing it in second person. That is about the only pov that I haven't yet tried, something about it scares me so, but you have managed it rather nicely here.

There were a few times when words were a bit repetitive making the flow a little less smooth, however I only noticed it in about 2 instances so really nothing much that made the story seem as if it didn't flow well. Really the rest of the chapter flowed really well and was really smooth reading (besides those few instances).

I loved all of the different things that went into this story, your grandma, the eleventh doctor, the picture frame from the movie, they were all really nice touches and I feel like since you explained them to me, they really make me feel that much more in touch with the story and really feel the things that I think you were going for with this.

This was a great chapter and I really enjoyed it! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #3, by slytherinchica08Guarded Hearts: Prologue: The Choice

1st June 2015:
Hello I'm here for our Hufflepuff review exchange! I really like the concept of this story, I think its very interesting to consider what death would be like and the different options that may be presented to different people much like Harry had. I also enjoyed the idea behind the crossroads bringing Draco to the one place that he was a better man, it seems like a really great place to have a crossroads of sorts. It was also interesting that Nymphadora was there to introduce Draco to his options and his death considering she herself had really only just died. But then again maybe that was her own option at her crossroads. Either way, I thought it was nice, maybe a bit odd considering Draco wouldn't have known her very well nor was he very fond of her either but still an interesting idea.

I loved that Draco sort of reacted without thinking. The wall was coming down and he just moved to protect Hermione, even if he really hadn't meant to protect her at all. The ending was really good as well. I liked the tag and how it marks her and changes him. I think it really fits with this story line and adds another layer to it. Altogether, I thought that this chapter was really interesting. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #4, by slytherinchica08The New Pride of Portree: Drills and Defense

17th May 2015:
My enjoyment of this story continues. The last bit in particular was my favorite what with them both sort of admitting their feelings for each other, or at least fitz wondering if there ever might be a chance for the two of them. I really like how he is finally willing to listen to Molly about different drills they might do and other coaching ideas like watching old matches to get ideas.

The flow of the story has been really nice so far and I never notice how long a chapter actually is. Instead I'm sucked into the chapter and before I know it, the end of the chapter has come. I very much look forward to reading more.

~Slytherinchica08

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Review #5, by slytherinchica08The New Pride of Portree: Flight and Family

17th May 2015:
Another fantastic chapter. Your description is really beautiful and you do an absolutely great job of switching between point of views, it's really seamless. The characterizations are also really well done and I've enjoyed each new person youve introduced us to. I think Hugo is great and love that he wants to research more about fitz and the spell damage, it gives me hope for him that maybe he will be able to fly again like he used to. I also loved the sister interactions between Molly and Lucy. It was really sweet and was something that I could see two sisters who know and love each other very much doing. I also loved that molly admitted her attraction of fitz to her sister. This was a great chapter and I can't wait to read the next.

~Slytherinchica08

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Review #6, by slytherinchica08The New Pride of Portree: The Dreaded Ex

3rd May 2015:
Ah Mariah Waldman, that's the name that I was trying to think of last chapter! I'm so glad you mentioned that right away in the beginning or I would probably have gone insane trying to remember the name by myself. Ah see, I thought that there was some kind of entanglement between the two (Fitz and Mariah that is) but to be honest, I only thought that things went as far as dating but didn't realize that they had actually been married and are now divorced... that definitely makes things rather interesting between the two.

I thought that the chapter was very enjoyable and I love how the characters are developing. It was nice to see Molly interacting with her other teammates and see how she handles them and how her personality changes a bit. She is very funny though, what with color coding everything including her liquor bottles. And I thought that the ending was a nice sweet little touch. It was very enjoyable to see a rather sweet interaction between Fitz and Molly and the slight butterflies that are already beginning for her. I'm very much interested to see where the rest of this story will go! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #7, by slytherinchica08Seized: Haven't You Figured it out Yet?

3rd May 2015:
WOW OK HOLD THE PHONE! (I haven't used that saying in such a long time :P) Talk about a plot twist! So Astoria has been behind this whole thing? Talk about absolutely crazy! Man, you really have me reeling from this new information! To be completely honest, I never expected for her to be behind it all. I'm just completely stunned right now, and I really dont know what to do with this new information. Although the upside is that obviously Draco wouldn't want to take her back (not that he really wanted to before we found out this information) but especially now that we know this, there is no way he will be wanting her back. Which is an awesome thing when it comes to the dramione aspect of this story as it really gives an opening for Hermione to come in and be able to get with Draco without worrying about Astoria still being in the picture.

I also really loved this chapter. This chapter had so much more description going on and it really made it much easier to picture the events and get sucked into the chapter (not that I haven't been sucked into the previous chapters because I definitely was sucked into them as well) But still, I could really feel myself getting pumped up from the action of the story and it really made this chapter stand out to me!

I can't wait to be able to read the next chapter (seriously you should really get on that :P) This is a really great story and has been super enjoyable to read! And YAY I'm finally all caught up on the posted chapters now! Woot Woot! Again this was a super enjoyable chapter! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hahah, I love that saying! :p Yep, all Astoria's doing, she's such a witch :p It does definitely clear the way for Astoria, but as you know with my stories, Dramione is never that easy ;)

I'm glad you liked the description here, I'm working on improving it slowly but surely :)

I'm not sure if you're up to date or still up to this chapter but there are two more after this one now :D

Thank you so much again ♥


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Review #8, by slytherinchica08Seized: Who Said Anything About Being Friends?

3rd May 2015:
Gah that ending, how could you do that to me? At least the next chapter is already posted so I don't have to wait to find out what is going on. But still, thats so not fair to do.

And then we have the kiss! I mean I'm so extremely excited, they finally kissed.. but then you go and do something like that where Hermione tries to deny the attraction and the feelings and tells Draco that its all a big mistake! She can't do that to him... or me! They need to be together!

But I do love how Narcissa seems to know things about her son before even he does. It really shows her character (and also keeps her close to canon as well which is really nice to see). She really does love her son and while he may not enjoy his choice of company with Hermione, she does still love him. I thought it was very touching to see anyways.

Your chapters are definitely more conversation heavy but in this chapter it does seem like you've added in some more description details which was really nice to see. Adding in the bits after they speak that give us a clue into their demeanor I think is super helpful to get a better idea of the characters and the feel of the story as well.

I thought that this chapter was very enjoyable and it definitely made me want to read more. Again, I'm so glad that the next chapter is already posted so I don't have to suffer with that cliffhanger! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hello again!

I do love a cliffhanger ending :p However, since my updates are so slow I really need to stop with them for my poor readers :p

You have no idea how difficult it was for them not to just snog the faces off each other but I really needed to get on with the plot LOL.

I'm definitely working on the description thing. I need to revisit these earlier chapters.

Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #9, by slytherinchica08Seized: Hasn't Anyone Heard of Communication?

3rd May 2015:
Guess who's back?! Its only been closing in on a year since the last time I stopped by to read and review this story but now with the Let's Get Active Challenge, I decided to stop by once more and see if I can clear out a few of my stories from my currently reading list (or at least catch up with the posted chapters) so here I am at long last. Now onto the actual review itself.

Its so crazy for me that even though it has been quite some time since I last stopped by and read this story, that the moment I began reading again, the details all began to come back to me. I wasn't feeling like I missed so much stuff or that I was completely clueless as to what was going on with this story so that was super nice. The flow that you have for this story is also super nice. Everything flows so well together and not once did I feel like I needed to pause to take in information or reread sentences because of structure. The only thing I could really critique would be to say that while this was a great chapter, I do feel like some more description could be added in (though that is definitely a personal opinion and it is just fine the way it is). Basically I just feel like this chapter was very conversation heavy and while that helps to move the story along at a nice pace, I dont feel quite as immersed in the story because I can't feel or see (or any of the other senses) what is going on in this story as well as I could with a bit more description. But again, this chapter was still really wonderful and a great read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Guess who's really late responding to this review? :p I'm glad you came back! :D

I'm so pleased you hadn't forgotten everything :p I definitely agree about it being dialogue heavy. I do that way too often and it's something I'm trying to work on but I just get so wrapped up in the story!

Thanks for the review my lovely ♥


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Review #10, by slytherinchica08The New Pride of Portree: The New Lineup

3rd May 2015:
I love how much the characterizations are really shining through in this chapter. You can really tell that Molly much prefers to have things all in line for her, everything planned out and just as it should be. Where as Fitz is much more a take things as they come, bitter personality. Of course, he definitely has reason to be bitter considering the one thing that he really loved and enjoyed doing was taken from him.

I definitely find myself sympathizing with both of them, Molly in that Fitz really seems to just kind of shove her by the side feeling like she is just trying to step on her toes when really she just wants to help devise the best plans for a winning team. And I also understand why Fitz feels the way he feels. He wants to prove himself as well and doesn't want someone to come along and do his job for him.

I'm very much interested to see where this story will go and how these characters who were thrown together with half the amount of training time will be able to pull through the season. It will also be very interesting to see how things will progress between our two main characters and how they will be able to put aside the bitterness that they both hold for each other at the moment. And it also seems like there is going to be another wild card in this story as well, in the shape of one of the reserve players.

Anyways, this was another great chapter and I really enjoyed it. I'll be along to read and review the next chapter soonish!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #11, by slytherinchica08The New Pride of Portree: The Harpy With the Mohawk

30th April 2015:
Figured I would start off my reviewing challenge right by finally coming by sand reading this story. And boy am I glad I did. I had completely forgotten just how much I enjoy your characterization! Each person that you introduce is completely fresh compared to what we are normally presented with and I think it's absolutely wonderful. I also really loved how we got a look into more then one persons view, I think that it really adds to the story and helps me understand the characters much better. I thought this first chapter was really well done and did a great job of settng up the story. It gave me enough information to feel comfortable with the world you were presenting as well as leaving many open questions that I want answered and making me interested to read more of the story to find out. I feel like this review is rather rubbish but as I'm about to fall asleep I figure I'll leave it here. Great chapter!

~Slytherinchica08

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Review #12, by slytherinchica08Infinitesimal: Leo Minor

22nd March 2015:
Ok so I'm going to do this whole review as I go thing so be prepared for what will probably be a pretty long review!

First off, your opening, was just fantastic. It drew me in right away and really set the tone for the story. That first sentence was already so beautiful to me and just called out to me and I could already begin to feel my heartstrings being pulled.. man I'm in for a ride if you can already do that to me in the first sentence!

Oh my god, and then you hit me with the next part where I find out that he is saying this all to Lily, like really, can you hit me any harder? I can already feel tears coming to my eyes and this is just getting ridiculous. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm sick so thats messing with my emotions or something but really, must you do this to me?

Ok seriously, you need to stop this! That next paragraph where he talks about how Sirius, and Remus, and Peter are more his friends then Lily's no matter how much they love her and she loves them and the fact that their parents are dead. Like really, just keep hitting me in the feels why don't you. This is just getting absolutely crazy that you are already invoking these kind of emotions in before the story really even takes off, like what kind of sorcery is this?

Aw man, the fact that Lily knows Regulus and actually liked him and such really just makes this even more sad. Like I feel like its that much more of a slap in the face to her considering its not someone that she would really expect, but it was still someone that she knew and liked (relatively speaking).

And then I couldn't help but smile at the thought of James writing this letter to Lily and knowing that she will probably scream and cry and want to rip his shirts. It shows that he really does love her, and he knows her so deeply. And then the bit where he mentions his shirts and for her to not rip the cream one because it was his fathers is just, I don't know really, but there was something about it that brought a small smile to my lips at the thought of him saying this. It was also sad because this shirt is really about all that he has left of his father so of course he is going to want to keep it.

And then you hit me with the feels again, this one induced by the beautiful description! I loved how James really couldn't remember how this all began, because when things do start rather slowly, its hard to pinpoint that one moment that really set things in motion, rather its a bunch of small things that when combined together create this one massive thing that you cant help any more.

Oh my goodness this amazing description just continues. I am completely 100% sold on this story already and I am only just reaching the beginning of it all really. Only just getting to the mentions of the fluttering and watching, the fact that he is already wrapped around his finger much like a lock of hair. Gah why must you do this to me Aph, why?

I really enjoyed the first interaction that you showed us. It was so beautiful and wonderful and I could already feel myself emotionally involved and attached to the two which is saying something as I'm a huge fan of James/Lily. But the description was wonderful and so tantalizing to me it just drew me in and I just thought it was all beautiful. I didn't even want to break to writ this down, but I knew that I had to to really get my thoughts and emotions across.

You know, I really like that James seems to always be conscious of him. What he is doing, and kind of keeping an eye on him. I love that the second meeting is almost a bit of a repeat what with it being the same time and place as the last and then the opening is a bit of the same, it not being a good time for stargazing. Oh and then you tie it in to the Black family childhood, having been taught at an early age of the different constellations and where they were mapped at in the night sky.

Oh and then the bit about Regulus sort of dissecting James to a point that James felt like he didn't really have to say anything, that Regulus already knew everything about him. And then the fact that you tied it into the feeling James has when he gets in trouble and is in front of Dumbledore, it was a really smart move to write that, I feel like it really helps to ground things more into a canon sense.

I really love the bit you have about James mentioning that because he is in a relationship with Lily and loves Lily that he thought that that was all there really was to know about love and relationships. I feel like this is very much a true idea. A lot of people might not realize or really think about these other ways that relationships can be because a straight relationship is really all the people are presented with (though that is definitely expanding now).

Ok yep, you hit me so so many feels that I couldn't even stop reading to write down my thoughts. This was just so utterly beautiful and wonderful and it was just amazing. I loved the ending, how things still remained as they were, with James being with Lily and Regulus dead. The letters from Regulus were a beautiful touch and I like the Dumbledore still seemed to know what was going on, it was just really fitting. I felt bad that Sirius and James had ended up in a fight so to speak because of the letters Regulus had written and it was even worse that Lily had taken care of James and was there for him and told him that he could tell her what had happened because I'm sure that in that moment, he felt very much that he couldn't tell her why it had all happened. This was seriously a beautiful oneshot, and will definitely be going in my favorites. Oh and its also gotten the longest review that I have ever written so congratulations on that! Seriously, this probably one of my favorite things that I have read in quite some time! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #13, by slytherinchica08I Confess, I Love You: It's not I loved you and I always have.

22nd February 2015:
Ah this was such a sweet and yet sad one shot! I feel really bad for Ginny as it seems that harry has left this world too soon and now she has to struggle through it alone. And then there is Hermione being the good friend and trying to help Ginny along by trying to set up dates and vacation trips so she can just get away and forget it all. I thought your characterization on Ginny was pretty spot on in that she still continued to be headstrong but yet still remembering harry and not wanting to move on from him yet. Great one shot!

~slytherinchica08

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Review #14, by slytherinchica08Playing for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

22nd February 2015:
Hello, here with a random review for you! I actually came across this story by using the random story button and I'm actually really happy that this popped up! It's a very unique idea which really makes this story stand out to me. I very much enjoyed the description that you put into this as well as the sort of mystery that was laced throughout this chapter. For one, I still have no idea who your main character is, I really only know that she works for Freddy and is a bit of a con man and is really good at pool. Then there is the introduction of yet another character at the very end, but we have no idea who it is but that the main character doesn't seem to be too thrilled to see them.

Characterization was really well done, even though that wasn't really the focus here. And the amount of detail that you put into the pool games and the surroundings were really wonderful. I would definitely say that your descriptions are very strong in this chapter and it made it a really good read! I look forward to reading more and finding out who the new character is as well as the main character! Great job!

~slytherinchica08

Author's Response: Awww, you're too kind! Thank you so much for this beautiful random review!

Random story button, really? That's so awesome! I'm glad that it was my story, and I'm glad that you enjoyed what you read! Description is one of my favorite things to read, so I thought I would try it out in my writing. And mystery is the coolest thing, in my opinion. I'm not a mysterious person, so I used this chapter to try out that sort of vibe for once. Yep, nobody knows who my MC is yet. I haven't revealed her name (until a later chapter, you'll see). It's an attempt to keep people guessing and wanting to read on. :D

Thank you so much! Detail is another thing I like, and although I wasn't so focused on revealing my characters' identities, I wanted to make sure that it was clear what sort of role they were meant to play. Thank you so very much, and if you read on, I hope you'll tell me your thoughts! And of course, enjoy reading!

~UnluckyStar57 ♥


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Review #15, by slytherinchica08Rose: Unrequited

10th February 2015:
Ah this was so sweet! I really loved the concept that you played around with here. I mean I've heard of references to the flower with her before but the way that you completely tied it into your story up to the very end was wonderful! I really loved the ending of this and it just spoke volumes to me. I had never really thought about Scorpius as being the gardener who was sad to part with his Rose but yet happy and content with the way that his Rose turned out. Very unique and interesting take on this concept and probably one of my favorites about it. I really don't know what else I can say about this. It was really well done and a very nice read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey! Wow, a random review! Thank you so much xD

I am glad you liked the concept I played around with here - it was something totally new to me and I have not read enough Rose/Scorpius to see it before so it was just totally new territory and it's so great to see it being appreciated! Thank you so much for all your kind words and such a lovely review!


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Review #16, by slytherinchica08Run: Like Dreaming

7th February 2015:
Ok so you can't do this to me, like seriously, this chapter is even better than the previous one! I'm practically a pile of mush right now absolutely in love with this story and your story telling abilities and its only chapter two! I know that you apologize for the repetitiveness of this chapter, but honestly this chapter didn't seem repetitive to me at all! I mean yeah we had to explain that Remus and Tonks are dead like we had to with Fred and Colin but honestly if you didnt, it wouldn't be realistic at all! Besides that, you did it in a completely different way then with Fred and Colin.

I loved that we got to see Crabbe in this chapter as well because in the first chapter it made me believe that Cliodna's Clock was a place for those on the light side and that the Grotta was a place for those on the dark, but clearly that's not the case if Crabbe is destined to go to Cliodna's Clock. And I loved the fact that you mentioned his burn marks but yet at the time of them noticing his marks, they were already disappearing before his eyes. It also helped us as readers know at what point during the war we are at. Another amazing detail that you added into this chapter, is the fact that Remus disappears and comes back a while later explaining that Harry needed him. I love the concept that while they visit the real world, they disappear from the afterlife so its not like they are in two places either.

I also loved that we changed out the attendant as well. It was really fun to see someone who looked very young and the way that she handled the newcomers as well. Plus she was also a great way to explain stuff to your readers which you took full advantage of and continued to give us information to understand the world that you have created for an afterlife. Its sad to think that they are still "alive" so to speak but yet there is this race coming up in which the loser will cease to exist and no longer have an afterlife to really be alive in any more. It's a very interesting concept and it really made me think a lot and continued to pull my interest into this story and wonder what exactly this race is going to be like and who is going to enter and what will happen during it.

This story is set up so brilliantly and even though I've only read the first two chapters, I have found myself already beginning to wonder more about this story and what journey it will take me on. You've set this story up so well and have already given your readers a lot of information without overwhelming us as well as there still being a lot that we don't know about. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you've given us enough information to wet our appetite for this story and have managed to at least hooked me into wanting to find out more about this afterlife and what this is going to mean for some of my favorite characters that you are breathing life into once more. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #17, by slytherinchica08Run: Newcomers

4th February 2015:
So I'm really sad as I had a pretty decent review written out and then my phone froze and reloaded the page only for my review to completely disappear! Oh well, I'm back and I pretty much remember exactly what I said.

First off, I want to congratulate you on having your story featured as the first book club story! I'm super excited to use this story as its one that I've been meaning to read for years but for some reason never had. But thankfully I'm here now and will get to experience this story for the first time!

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I thought that it was very well written and that you did a great job with your opening chapter! You gave us readers plenty of information without overwhelming us with it and already began evoking questions in me about this story. I'm really curious about this "island" of sorts that these characters are on for their afterlife. What is it really and what is going on there?

The characters are all really awesome. I love that we started off the story with Cedric after he has already gotten accustomed to being in the afterlife and then also bringing in the fact that Cassandra Trelawney still gets prophecies in the afterlife. I think that that is a really cool detail that I had never thought of before but now that you have brought the idea to my attention I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before because its a very smart and interesting concept. But then to move on from Cedric to Fred and Colin was also a really good idea. I loved seeing them and their confusion to the afterlife and the fact that they are actually dead. I love that Fred kinda joked about it only to find out that its real. It just really brought out his character to me.

Then the amount of description and detail that you put into this opening chapter is also really wonderful. From the fact that prophecies still exist in the afterlife to the mention of Colin's brother Dennis dying in 20 years, the crows call being an indicator for how many years a person has lived on Earth, it was just all really well thought out and it just really added a depth to your story and really makes the readers understand the amount of work that went into this!

I don't have a single negative thing to say about this chapter. It was really well done and a great beginning to your story. I'm very much interested in finding out more about this world that you are painting for us! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #18, by slytherinchica08Her Favorite Holiday: Her Favorite Holiday

2nd February 2015:
Selene, you have something new! Yay! I was so excited to see that you were working on a new one shot and I'm even more excited now that it's up!

And oh my goodness how heartbreaking this was! I can honestly say that this is probably one of my favorite things that you have written! There really isn't anything to fault here! I guess tge only bit of criticism I have is that the opening paragraph is a bit long and may work a bit better if it was cut into two.

Your characterization in this is probably the strongest that I've seen from you, not that you were ever horrible at it either. But all of the characters were just so well done and all were given a purpose to be in the story. Arthur as the main character was brilliantly done and I loved how he reflected on the past valentines days that he got to spend with his mollywobbles as well as referencing how many years as it kept bringing me back.

Your description was also really well done. I could really picture these events happening and not once was I really left with a thirst for more information as it was all already available to me. I thought it was really sad that Arthur was alone in the world especially on a day where being alone is heightened.

This was a really great one shot and I absolutely enjoyed it! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #19, by slytherinchica08kisses-blood-valentine: Ballad of Evvie and Bernie

31st January 2015:
So first off, I really like your story summary! I think that it does a good job of explaining the story but also makes me wonder how things will end for this couple.

Now onto the actual story, this was so well written! Even though the story line is nonlinear, it's still easy to follow and never gets confusing with the details! As a matter of fact, I really think the nonlinear look at this story really added to it as it made me ask questions and wonder what had actually happened between the bits shown.

The ending was really strong too. I love that you make us question what actually happened between the two and if your mc is actually capable of murder or not. And then ending it with saying that the innocent never last long, well, I think that was a really good ending choice!

There were a few moments I got a bit tripped up on wording such as the beginning of the third paragraph it says thousand thousands. I think if it said thousands and thousands of, would work better and I know there was one more place but I can't remember where it was now but it was nothing really big.

The characterization was really strong! It didn't matter how short of a time the character was seen, you were able to capture each character wonderfully. I also like that you mc is black and I thought that the pairing during this time period was pulled off wonderfully! Really well done!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Erica!!

Ah! Your review means so much to me. I'm really glad that it was easy to follow and that it more or less made sense. I did try hard to give it an ending worth remembering so I'mg lad that came through for you. I'll definitely look over the spots you pointed out - I was pushing myself with this and probalby made some weird sentences along the way. I've always thought people make the story so I'm thrilled you thought the characters were well done in this.

Thank you so much!

-Rose


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Review #20, by slytherinchica08Seek and Chase: Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

29th December 2014:
Alright so I was approached by your Secret Santa to use your story as my first live reaction tweet story so here I am! I'm so excited to be reading this story as I've seen it around and have meant to read it but for some reason have not done so yet! Before I even get to your actual story, I wanted to say that your banner and summary are absolutely fantastic! They each pull in readers and really made me excited to read this story and see where you go with it! I'm honestly shocked that this story hasn't gotten more attention yet! Oh well hopefully by the end of this I can create more interest in this story! Now onto your actual review!

Those poor Malfoys! Their family always ends up with the really weird names but yet it always seems becoming of the Malfoys and almost like they are saying "Hey we have more money then you, see how weird we name our children."

I love your use of manhandle here. I don't know why but it really made the scene of her trying to hold all of these different items plus keep up with Sagitta that much more vivid in my mind. I can only imagine how she must look to everyone else. AHAHA and there I go laughing because I imagine that she must look kind of crazy!

Ooh I love that Lily actually has brown hair! First of all its very original. And second, the whole reason behind her having brown hair is just absolutely amazing! The fact that James messed up on a potion and it caused Lily to have brown hair is just (yep you guessed it) original! Its a wonder that people haven't really thought of this before! This small detail in and of itself has already begun to make this story stand out even more to me! Great little detail!

AHAHA I'm liking Sagitta already! Blowing up a classroom on day one! She probably made Seamus jealous with her abilities, though she has a long way to go to catch up with him.

Oh my goodness! I can just imagine the whole of Gryffindor standing outside the common room just waiting for someone to come along and give them the password. It must have been a very quiet time in the common room and probably the last time that the common room would be that quiet!

The beginning of this story was really well done! I only found a few minor mistakes such as spelling errors, but nothing too horrible that it tripped me up or anything. The whole chapter flowed really well together and the way that you ended it definitely makes me wonder what exactly is going to happen in this story. Over all, it was a really good beginning and I can't wait to continue on and find out more about Jacob.

Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica!

Haha, it does seem as though they are saying that, doesn't it? Maybe Scorpius will give his kid a normal name. We'll have to see..

Lily probably looked just like everybody else, trying to wrestle their stuff onto the train. It's something I put in from my own experience traveling - "Here, get on this train, while carrying your 60 pound suitcase. All by yourself. And find your seat. Without knowing where it is." At least the Hogwarts Express doesn't have assigned seats.

I did notice that in the books, (at least I don't think) there's no mention of how their trunks got on the train.

I'm glad you like the brown hair! I had honestly forgotten about it because it doesn't pop up in later chapters.

Bahahaha I don't think anyone could catch up with Seamus in the department of setting stuff on fire. He's the king in that regard.

It's definitely the last time the common room's going to be that quiet. Gryffindor is a rather rowdy house.

I thought I caught all the spelling mistakes! *rereads chapter*

Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked this chapter (and that you followed through with Beth's suggestion)!

~Olivia


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Review #21, by slytherinchica08Knight Takes Queen: Rook

26th September 2014:
Wow! This was written so beautifully! I loved the description that you put into this chapter! I could see everything that you were describing and this was probably some of the best description that I've read recently. It all flowed so well together and was a really interesting concept to think about. I loved that this dealt with merpeople especially since they are something that aren't even very well known in the HP universe so really cool to include them. The ending was beautiful with the sun peaking out and everything. The best part for me was that even though there was no conversations in this, I never felt overloaded by the description or anything. It all just kept coming and then suddenly I was at the end. I'm definitely interested in reading more of this to see what happens now between her and the merman. I liked the intrigue that she had towards him, wanting to experience and understand him, it seemed very Ravenclaw of her to thirst for more knowledge. Anyways great job on this it was very interesting and you can expect me to come by again to read more! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey there, Erica! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I really loved writing this because of the inclusion of the magical creature, so I could be more descriptive than usual - which I loved! Merpeople were so much fun to write in this - I love the idea of a humanoid race, who are like us in so many ways, but so different to us in so many others, and it was so much fun to explore that. Rowena was such a great character to write, as well - as soon as the HC prompts went up and I wanted to write something in support, even though I can't enter, I knew I wanted to do her - it seemed so fitting, haha :P Plus, it meant I could play up the curiosity element and include the discovery and choice of the location of Hogwarts, which seemed to me to be easy ways to get in the magical creatures :P

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, it was so great to get - and thank you for all the compliments! It was a strange piece to write, but I loved doing it, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #22, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: Three

26th September 2014:
Oh I liked this a lot! I thought that it was really sweet and just a fun little read! The ending bit when Remus mentioned that he had been with Sirius before and she asked if he liked women was just really funny. Especially her response. It was just a cute little look into how they got together exactly.

The idea that Dumdledore advised for the DADA professors to join the Aurors in training before beginning school is definitely a unique idea and one that I very much like! I thought that it set this story a part from others and was a very great detail to add and now something that I think should just be a canon thing to have!

To be honest, I'm a little sad that this is the ending of this story. I would definitely love to see more about this love between Remus and Tonks that you have included and maybe even a wrap up part that would bring Teddy back into the story and explain how he felt reading all of this. I think that adding that would really bring a different dimension to the story and make it even better (not that it isn't already great because it is) but I think tying things in would really put a nice clean bow on the ending. As it is, this ending is wonderful and was a really cute look into how they got together! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #23, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: Two

26th September 2014:
Oh my gosh all the feels of this chapter! Like seriously this felt so real to me. I could see the Tonks and Remus that we know and love and yet you've expanded on them and made them come to life so much more for me! Seriously I felt so much in this small chapter its just crazy! I really felt bad for both Remus and Tonks. Tonks for the fact that Remus always doubts himself and tends to get scared way too easily (which is rather funny for a Gryffindor but very much true due to his wolfishness). And then there is Remus who is always working through the stigma of being a wolf and he is so scared to lose her and to mess things up. I thought that this chapter was really well put together and was a wonderful look into what it was like for them to be together. I'm very much interested to see where you take the next (and last) chapter of this story. I think their love is definitely one that isn't thought about much but the way you have portrayed it so far is really lovely and realistic and while its not a perfect love (because of course there is no such thing) it is a love and they are working together to get through things. Great chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #24, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: One

26th September 2014:
Oh what a wonderful premise for this story! Rose was definitely lucky to be on the receiving end of one of your stories as you are a fantastic writer! I really liked this first chapter as I felt that it set this story up wonderfully. The reasoning behind his grandmother not really telling any information is definitely realistic, it is hard when you've lost someone and you really do feel that you need someone to blame and Remus was her escape! I love the feeling that Tonks knew that her son would wonder about her and Remus and how they fell in love and how things came to be for them. It says something wonderful about both him and her, that she understood her son even before really getting to know him. And the fact that Teddy wants to know about his parents love is pretty amazing as well. I love how Harry came into play and then remembered that she had left a letter to be given to her son when he was old enough to understand everything. I very much look forward to the next chapter and seeing where this story will take us. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #25, by slytherinchica08Trixangela Snape: Year 1: The Prologue

26th September 2014:
A very interesting beginning to your story! It definitely gives us the background information needed to set this story on the right track and also, as other readers have suggested, give us a lot of questions to ask, which can be helpful to make the reader continue to read on to find out the answers. I definitely have some of my own questions that I hope get answered in the future but for now, they will burn in my mind begging me to continue reading so I can find out what happens.

Overall, I think this seems like a great beginning. The characters are basically true to the versions that we know which is always wonderful to see. I felt so bad that Lily was taken from them once more and while they did get extra time with her that they would not have had, she was still taken much sooner than they anticipated.

The idea for this story is also really original, the thought that Harry was able to bring his mom back some how and that she no longer possessed any magic from that is a really unique take on things. I'm definitely interested in finding out what happened that made it so Harry had been able to bring her back as it seems like there might be something more there that will come into play in the future. Any ways, it was a great chapter and I look forward to reading the next!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I am glad you found it interesting. I try to be different from everyone else, somehow or another.

We'll find out how he brought her back, when it becomes the topic in the story :)


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