Reading Reviews From Member: slytherinchica08
  
1,101 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slytherinchica08Infinitesimal: Leo Minor

22nd March 2015:
Ok so I'm going to do this whole review as I go thing so be prepared for what will probably be a pretty long review!

First off, your opening, was just fantastic. It drew me in right away and really set the tone for the story. That first sentence was already so beautiful to me and just called out to me and I could already begin to feel my heartstrings being pulled.. man I'm in for a ride if you can already do that to me in the first sentence!

Oh my god, and then you hit me with the next part where I find out that he is saying this all to Lily, like really, can you hit me any harder? I can already feel tears coming to my eyes and this is just getting ridiculous. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm sick so thats messing with my emotions or something but really, must you do this to me?

Ok seriously, you need to stop this! That next paragraph where he talks about how Sirius, and Remus, and Peter are more his friends then Lily's no matter how much they love her and she loves them and the fact that their parents are dead. Like really, just keep hitting me in the feels why don't you. This is just getting absolutely crazy that you are already invoking these kind of emotions in before the story really even takes off, like what kind of sorcery is this?

Aw man, the fact that Lily knows Regulus and actually liked him and such really just makes this even more sad. Like I feel like its that much more of a slap in the face to her considering its not someone that she would really expect, but it was still someone that she knew and liked (relatively speaking).

And then I couldn't help but smile at the thought of James writing this letter to Lily and knowing that she will probably scream and cry and want to rip his shirts. It shows that he really does love her, and he knows her so deeply. And then the bit where he mentions his shirts and for her to not rip the cream one because it was his fathers is just, I don't know really, but there was something about it that brought a small smile to my lips at the thought of him saying this. It was also sad because this shirt is really about all that he has left of his father so of course he is going to want to keep it.

And then you hit me with the feels again, this one induced by the beautiful description! I loved how James really couldn't remember how this all began, because when things do start rather slowly, its hard to pinpoint that one moment that really set things in motion, rather its a bunch of small things that when combined together create this one massive thing that you cant help any more.

Oh my goodness this amazing description just continues. I am completely 100% sold on this story already and I am only just reaching the beginning of it all really. Only just getting to the mentions of the fluttering and watching, the fact that he is already wrapped around his finger much like a lock of hair. Gah why must you do this to me Aph, why?

I really enjoyed the first interaction that you showed us. It was so beautiful and wonderful and I could already feel myself emotionally involved and attached to the two which is saying something as I'm a huge fan of James/Lily. But the description was wonderful and so tantalizing to me it just drew me in and I just thought it was all beautiful. I didn't even want to break to writ this down, but I knew that I had to to really get my thoughts and emotions across.

You know, I really like that James seems to always be conscious of him. What he is doing, and kind of keeping an eye on him. I love that the second meeting is almost a bit of a repeat what with it being the same time and place as the last and then the opening is a bit of the same, it not being a good time for stargazing. Oh and then you tie it in to the Black family childhood, having been taught at an early age of the different constellations and where they were mapped at in the night sky.

Oh and then the bit about Regulus sort of dissecting James to a point that James felt like he didn't really have to say anything, that Regulus already knew everything about him. And then the fact that you tied it into the feeling James has when he gets in trouble and is in front of Dumbledore, it was a really smart move to write that, I feel like it really helps to ground things more into a canon sense.

I really love the bit you have about James mentioning that because he is in a relationship with Lily and loves Lily that he thought that that was all there really was to know about love and relationships. I feel like this is very much a true idea. A lot of people might not realize or really think about these other ways that relationships can be because a straight relationship is really all the people are presented with (though that is definitely expanding now).

Ok yep, you hit me so so many feels that I couldn't even stop reading to write down my thoughts. This was just so utterly beautiful and wonderful and it was just amazing. I loved the ending, how things still remained as they were, with James being with Lily and Regulus dead. The letters from Regulus were a beautiful touch and I like the Dumbledore still seemed to know what was going on, it was just really fitting. I felt bad that Sirius and James had ended up in a fight so to speak because of the letters Regulus had written and it was even worse that Lily had taken care of James and was there for him and told him that he could tell her what had happened because I'm sure that in that moment, he felt very much that he couldn't tell her why it had all happened. This was seriously a beautiful oneshot, and will definitely be going in my favorites. Oh and its also gotten the longest review that I have ever written so congratulations on that! Seriously, this probably one of my favorite things that I have read in quite some time! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #2, by slytherinchica08I Confess, I Love You: It's not I loved you and I always have.

22nd February 2015:
Ah this was such a sweet and yet sad one shot! I feel really bad for Ginny as it seems that harry has left this world too soon and now she has to struggle through it alone. And then there is Hermione being the good friend and trying to help Ginny along by trying to set up dates and vacation trips so she can just get away and forget it all. I thought your characterization on Ginny was pretty spot on in that she still continued to be headstrong but yet still remembering harry and not wanting to move on from him yet. Great one shot!

~slytherinchica08

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Review #3, by slytherinchica08Playing for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

22nd February 2015:
Hello, here with a random review for you! I actually came across this story by using the random story button and I'm actually really happy that this popped up! It's a very unique idea which really makes this story stand out to me. I very much enjoyed the description that you put into this as well as the sort of mystery that was laced throughout this chapter. For one, I still have no idea who your main character is, I really only know that she works for Freddy and is a bit of a con man and is really good at pool. Then there is the introduction of yet another character at the very end, but we have no idea who it is but that the main character doesn't seem to be too thrilled to see them.

Characterization was really well done, even though that wasn't really the focus here. And the amount of detail that you put into the pool games and the surroundings were really wonderful. I would definitely say that your descriptions are very strong in this chapter and it made it a really good read! I look forward to reading more and finding out who the new character is as well as the main character! Great job!

~slytherinchica08

Author's Response: Awww, you're too kind! Thank you so much for this beautiful random review!

Random story button, really? That's so awesome! I'm glad that it was my story, and I'm glad that you enjoyed what you read! Description is one of my favorite things to read, so I thought I would try it out in my writing. And mystery is the coolest thing, in my opinion. I'm not a mysterious person, so I used this chapter to try out that sort of vibe for once. Yep, nobody knows who my MC is yet. I haven't revealed her name (until a later chapter, you'll see). It's an attempt to keep people guessing and wanting to read on. :D

Thank you so much! Detail is another thing I like, and although I wasn't so focused on revealing my characters' identities, I wanted to make sure that it was clear what sort of role they were meant to play. Thank you so very much, and if you read on, I hope you'll tell me your thoughts! And of course, enjoy reading!

~UnluckyStar57 ♥


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Review #4, by slytherinchica08Rose: Unrequited

10th February 2015:
Ah this was so sweet! I really loved the concept that you played around with here. I mean I've heard of references to the flower with her before but the way that you completely tied it into your story up to the very end was wonderful! I really loved the ending of this and it just spoke volumes to me. I had never really thought about Scorpius as being the gardener who was sad to part with his Rose but yet happy and content with the way that his Rose turned out. Very unique and interesting take on this concept and probably one of my favorites about it. I really don't know what else I can say about this. It was really well done and a very nice read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey! Wow, a random review! Thank you so much xD

I am glad you liked the concept I played around with here - it was something totally new to me and I have not read enough Rose/Scorpius to see it before so it was just totally new territory and it's so great to see it being appreciated! Thank you so much for all your kind words and such a lovely review!


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Review #5, by slytherinchica08Run: Like Dreaming

7th February 2015:
Ok so you can't do this to me, like seriously, this chapter is even better than the previous one! I'm practically a pile of mush right now absolutely in love with this story and your story telling abilities and its only chapter two! I know that you apologize for the repetitiveness of this chapter, but honestly this chapter didn't seem repetitive to me at all! I mean yeah we had to explain that Remus and Tonks are dead like we had to with Fred and Colin but honestly if you didnt, it wouldn't be realistic at all! Besides that, you did it in a completely different way then with Fred and Colin.

I loved that we got to see Crabbe in this chapter as well because in the first chapter it made me believe that Cliodna's Clock was a place for those on the light side and that the Grotta was a place for those on the dark, but clearly that's not the case if Crabbe is destined to go to Cliodna's Clock. And I loved the fact that you mentioned his burn marks but yet at the time of them noticing his marks, they were already disappearing before his eyes. It also helped us as readers know at what point during the war we are at. Another amazing detail that you added into this chapter, is the fact that Remus disappears and comes back a while later explaining that Harry needed him. I love the concept that while they visit the real world, they disappear from the afterlife so its not like they are in two places either.

I also loved that we changed out the attendant as well. It was really fun to see someone who looked very young and the way that she handled the newcomers as well. Plus she was also a great way to explain stuff to your readers which you took full advantage of and continued to give us information to understand the world that you have created for an afterlife. Its sad to think that they are still "alive" so to speak but yet there is this race coming up in which the loser will cease to exist and no longer have an afterlife to really be alive in any more. It's a very interesting concept and it really made me think a lot and continued to pull my interest into this story and wonder what exactly this race is going to be like and who is going to enter and what will happen during it.

This story is set up so brilliantly and even though I've only read the first two chapters, I have found myself already beginning to wonder more about this story and what journey it will take me on. You've set this story up so well and have already given your readers a lot of information without overwhelming us as well as there still being a lot that we don't know about. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you've given us enough information to wet our appetite for this story and have managed to at least hooked me into wanting to find out more about this afterlife and what this is going to mean for some of my favorite characters that you are breathing life into once more. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #6, by slytherinchica08Run: Newcomers

4th February 2015:
So I'm really sad as I had a pretty decent review written out and then my phone froze and reloaded the page only for my review to completely disappear! Oh well, I'm back and I pretty much remember exactly what I said.

First off, I want to congratulate you on having your story featured as the first book club story! I'm super excited to use this story as its one that I've been meaning to read for years but for some reason never had. But thankfully I'm here now and will get to experience this story for the first time!

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I thought that it was very well written and that you did a great job with your opening chapter! You gave us readers plenty of information without overwhelming us with it and already began evoking questions in me about this story. I'm really curious about this "island" of sorts that these characters are on for their afterlife. What is it really and what is going on there?

The characters are all really awesome. I love that we started off the story with Cedric after he has already gotten accustomed to being in the afterlife and then also bringing in the fact that Cassandra Trelawney still gets prophecies in the afterlife. I think that that is a really cool detail that I had never thought of before but now that you have brought the idea to my attention I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before because its a very smart and interesting concept. But then to move on from Cedric to Fred and Colin was also a really good idea. I loved seeing them and their confusion to the afterlife and the fact that they are actually dead. I love that Fred kinda joked about it only to find out that its real. It just really brought out his character to me.

Then the amount of description and detail that you put into this opening chapter is also really wonderful. From the fact that prophecies still exist in the afterlife to the mention of Colin's brother Dennis dying in 20 years, the crows call being an indicator for how many years a person has lived on Earth, it was just all really well thought out and it just really added a depth to your story and really makes the readers understand the amount of work that went into this!

I don't have a single negative thing to say about this chapter. It was really well done and a great beginning to your story. I'm very much interested in finding out more about this world that you are painting for us! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #7, by slytherinchica08Her Favorite Holiday: Her Favorite Holiday

2nd February 2015:
Selene, you have something new! Yay! I was so excited to see that you were working on a new one shot and I'm even more excited now that it's up!

And oh my goodness how heartbreaking this was! I can honestly say that this is probably one of my favorite things that you have written! There really isn't anything to fault here! I guess tge only bit of criticism I have is that the opening paragraph is a bit long and may work a bit better if it was cut into two.

Your characterization in this is probably the strongest that I've seen from you, not that you were ever horrible at it either. But all of the characters were just so well done and all were given a purpose to be in the story. Arthur as the main character was brilliantly done and I loved how he reflected on the past valentines days that he got to spend with his mollywobbles as well as referencing how many years as it kept bringing me back.

Your description was also really well done. I could really picture these events happening and not once was I really left with a thirst for more information as it was all already available to me. I thought it was really sad that Arthur was alone in the world especially on a day where being alone is heightened.

This was a really great one shot and I absolutely enjoyed it! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #8, by slytherinchica08kisses-blood-valentine: Ballad of Evvie and Bernie

31st January 2015:
So first off, I really like your story summary! I think that it does a good job of explaining the story but also makes me wonder how things will end for this couple.

Now onto the actual story, this was so well written! Even though the story line is nonlinear, it's still easy to follow and never gets confusing with the details! As a matter of fact, I really think the nonlinear look at this story really added to it as it made me ask questions and wonder what had actually happened between the bits shown.

The ending was really strong too. I love that you make us question what actually happened between the two and if your mc is actually capable of murder or not. And then ending it with saying that the innocent never last long, well, I think that was a really good ending choice!

There were a few moments I got a bit tripped up on wording such as the beginning of the third paragraph it says thousand thousands. I think if it said thousands and thousands of, would work better and I know there was one more place but I can't remember where it was now but it was nothing really big.

The characterization was really strong! It didn't matter how short of a time the character was seen, you were able to capture each character wonderfully. I also like that you mc is black and I thought that the pairing during this time period was pulled off wonderfully! Really well done!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Erica!!

Ah! Your review means so much to me. I'm really glad that it was easy to follow and that it more or less made sense. I did try hard to give it an ending worth remembering so I'mg lad that came through for you. I'll definitely look over the spots you pointed out - I was pushing myself with this and probalby made some weird sentences along the way. I've always thought people make the story so I'm thrilled you thought the characters were well done in this.

Thank you so much!

-Rose


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Review #9, by slytherinchica08Seek and Chase: Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

29th December 2014:
Alright so I was approached by your Secret Santa to use your story as my first live reaction tweet story so here I am! I'm so excited to be reading this story as I've seen it around and have meant to read it but for some reason have not done so yet! Before I even get to your actual story, I wanted to say that your banner and summary are absolutely fantastic! They each pull in readers and really made me excited to read this story and see where you go with it! I'm honestly shocked that this story hasn't gotten more attention yet! Oh well hopefully by the end of this I can create more interest in this story! Now onto your actual review!

Those poor Malfoys! Their family always ends up with the really weird names but yet it always seems becoming of the Malfoys and almost like they are saying "Hey we have more money then you, see how weird we name our children."

I love your use of manhandle here. I don't know why but it really made the scene of her trying to hold all of these different items plus keep up with Sagitta that much more vivid in my mind. I can only imagine how she must look to everyone else. AHAHA and there I go laughing because I imagine that she must look kind of crazy!

Ooh I love that Lily actually has brown hair! First of all its very original. And second, the whole reason behind her having brown hair is just absolutely amazing! The fact that James messed up on a potion and it caused Lily to have brown hair is just (yep you guessed it) original! Its a wonder that people haven't really thought of this before! This small detail in and of itself has already begun to make this story stand out even more to me! Great little detail!

AHAHA I'm liking Sagitta already! Blowing up a classroom on day one! She probably made Seamus jealous with her abilities, though she has a long way to go to catch up with him.

Oh my goodness! I can just imagine the whole of Gryffindor standing outside the common room just waiting for someone to come along and give them the password. It must have been a very quiet time in the common room and probably the last time that the common room would be that quiet!

The beginning of this story was really well done! I only found a few minor mistakes such as spelling errors, but nothing too horrible that it tripped me up or anything. The whole chapter flowed really well together and the way that you ended it definitely makes me wonder what exactly is going to happen in this story. Over all, it was a really good beginning and I can't wait to continue on and find out more about Jacob.

Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica!

Haha, it does seem as though they are saying that, doesn't it? Maybe Scorpius will give his kid a normal name. We'll have to see..

Lily probably looked just like everybody else, trying to wrestle their stuff onto the train. It's something I put in from my own experience traveling - "Here, get on this train, while carrying your 60 pound suitcase. All by yourself. And find your seat. Without knowing where it is." At least the Hogwarts Express doesn't have assigned seats.

I did notice that in the books, (at least I don't think) there's no mention of how their trunks got on the train.

I'm glad you like the brown hair! I had honestly forgotten about it because it doesn't pop up in later chapters.

Bahahaha I don't think anyone could catch up with Seamus in the department of setting stuff on fire. He's the king in that regard.

It's definitely the last time the common room's going to be that quiet. Gryffindor is a rather rowdy house.

I thought I caught all the spelling mistakes! *rereads chapter*

Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked this chapter (and that you followed through with Beth's suggestion)!

~Olivia


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Review #10, by slytherinchica08Knight Takes Queen: Rook

26th September 2014:
Wow! This was written so beautifully! I loved the description that you put into this chapter! I could see everything that you were describing and this was probably some of the best description that I've read recently. It all flowed so well together and was a really interesting concept to think about. I loved that this dealt with merpeople especially since they are something that aren't even very well known in the HP universe so really cool to include them. The ending was beautiful with the sun peaking out and everything. The best part for me was that even though there was no conversations in this, I never felt overloaded by the description or anything. It all just kept coming and then suddenly I was at the end. I'm definitely interested in reading more of this to see what happens now between her and the merman. I liked the intrigue that she had towards him, wanting to experience and understand him, it seemed very Ravenclaw of her to thirst for more knowledge. Anyways great job on this it was very interesting and you can expect me to come by again to read more! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey there, Erica! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I really loved writing this because of the inclusion of the magical creature, so I could be more descriptive than usual - which I loved! Merpeople were so much fun to write in this - I love the idea of a humanoid race, who are like us in so many ways, but so different to us in so many others, and it was so much fun to explore that. Rowena was such a great character to write, as well - as soon as the HC prompts went up and I wanted to write something in support, even though I can't enter, I knew I wanted to do her - it seemed so fitting, haha :P Plus, it meant I could play up the curiosity element and include the discovery and choice of the location of Hogwarts, which seemed to me to be easy ways to get in the magical creatures :P

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, it was so great to get - and thank you for all the compliments! It was a strange piece to write, but I loved doing it, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #11, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: Three

26th September 2014:
Oh I liked this a lot! I thought that it was really sweet and just a fun little read! The ending bit when Remus mentioned that he had been with Sirius before and she asked if he liked women was just really funny. Especially her response. It was just a cute little look into how they got together exactly.

The idea that Dumdledore advised for the DADA professors to join the Aurors in training before beginning school is definitely a unique idea and one that I very much like! I thought that it set this story a part from others and was a very great detail to add and now something that I think should just be a canon thing to have!

To be honest, I'm a little sad that this is the ending of this story. I would definitely love to see more about this love between Remus and Tonks that you have included and maybe even a wrap up part that would bring Teddy back into the story and explain how he felt reading all of this. I think that adding that would really bring a different dimension to the story and make it even better (not that it isn't already great because it is) but I think tying things in would really put a nice clean bow on the ending. As it is, this ending is wonderful and was a really cute look into how they got together! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #12, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: Two

26th September 2014:
Oh my gosh all the feels of this chapter! Like seriously this felt so real to me. I could see the Tonks and Remus that we know and love and yet you've expanded on them and made them come to life so much more for me! Seriously I felt so much in this small chapter its just crazy! I really felt bad for both Remus and Tonks. Tonks for the fact that Remus always doubts himself and tends to get scared way too easily (which is rather funny for a Gryffindor but very much true due to his wolfishness). And then there is Remus who is always working through the stigma of being a wolf and he is so scared to lose her and to mess things up. I thought that this chapter was really well put together and was a wonderful look into what it was like for them to be together. I'm very much interested to see where you take the next (and last) chapter of this story. I think their love is definitely one that isn't thought about much but the way you have portrayed it so far is really lovely and realistic and while its not a perfect love (because of course there is no such thing) it is a love and they are working together to get through things. Great chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #13, by slytherinchica08To Tell Our Story: One

26th September 2014:
Oh what a wonderful premise for this story! Rose was definitely lucky to be on the receiving end of one of your stories as you are a fantastic writer! I really liked this first chapter as I felt that it set this story up wonderfully. The reasoning behind his grandmother not really telling any information is definitely realistic, it is hard when you've lost someone and you really do feel that you need someone to blame and Remus was her escape! I love the feeling that Tonks knew that her son would wonder about her and Remus and how they fell in love and how things came to be for them. It says something wonderful about both him and her, that she understood her son even before really getting to know him. And the fact that Teddy wants to know about his parents love is pretty amazing as well. I love how Harry came into play and then remembered that she had left a letter to be given to her son when he was old enough to understand everything. I very much look forward to the next chapter and seeing where this story will take us. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #14, by slytherinchica08Trixangela Snape: Year 1: The Prologue

26th September 2014:
A very interesting beginning to your story! It definitely gives us the background information needed to set this story on the right track and also, as other readers have suggested, give us a lot of questions to ask, which can be helpful to make the reader continue to read on to find out the answers. I definitely have some of my own questions that I hope get answered in the future but for now, they will burn in my mind begging me to continue reading so I can find out what happens.

Overall, I think this seems like a great beginning. The characters are basically true to the versions that we know which is always wonderful to see. I felt so bad that Lily was taken from them once more and while they did get extra time with her that they would not have had, she was still taken much sooner than they anticipated.

The idea for this story is also really original, the thought that Harry was able to bring his mom back some how and that she no longer possessed any magic from that is a really unique take on things. I'm definitely interested in finding out what happened that made it so Harry had been able to bring her back as it seems like there might be something more there that will come into play in the future. Any ways, it was a great chapter and I look forward to reading the next!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I am glad you found it interesting. I try to be different from everyone else, somehow or another.

We'll find out how he brought her back, when it becomes the topic in the story :)


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Review #15, by slytherinchica08It shouldn't be like that: I

26th September 2014:
A very interesting concept. I loved that Pansy was the spy as that definitely wasn't what I was thinking. The flashbacks were wonderful and helped clear up questions that I had and while I feel bad for Ginny, I also think that someone else will be out there for her, she just doesn't know who it is yet. I love that Hermione is with Draco in this as that's my OTP! I thought this was very well done and an interesting read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #16, by slytherinchica08The Brethren: The Escape

26th September 2014:
I thought that this was a very interesting beginning and while its pretty short, it does set up your story rather nicely. I know that it was years ago that this story was posted and the odds of you even seeing this review is slim but I still thought that I would stop by and let you know that you do have a great beginning. The description is wonderful and the opening gives the readers some information without an over load of information as well as giving us some questions to ask such as why he is leaving his house and what his plans are. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #17, by slytherinchica08Only a Piece of Wood: Hogwarts Newest Addition

26th September 2014:
I really like this look into what it was like for Oliver when he first left for school! I very much look forward to seeing just where this story will go for him. I found his internal thoughts to be really well done and loved that he was worried about where he was going to be but yet at the same time, he wasn't. Also the fact that you have him thinking that being in Hufflepuff wouldn't be so bad is also a really nice detail as a lot of times Hufflepuff is really over looked so I thought it added a nice touch. I loved the bit in the robe shop where he meets Higgs and ends up in a fight with him because he uses the word Mudblood. I thought the whole chapter was really sweet and I definitely look forward to reading more and seeing just where you are going to take us! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: I love this story and I'm happy to see you enjoyed it. I just have no inspiration for it so far, but it'll be back up in 2015, until then I'll just be editing the story. Thank you for the review on this story :)

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Review #18, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

25th September 2014:
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I swear I should never read your story while I'm at work for fear of me tearing up and gasping, and yelling at my screen for all that you are putting me through.

I felt so bad for Al and Scorp in this chapter, as well as everyone else, but to me those two really stood out and made me feel so horribly for them. Al is definitely a powerful wizard, you can see that very clearly with these past few chapters and I can only imagine that that is going to come into play in the future chapters. Scorp is also powerful in his own right but definitely not nearly as powerful as Al. I still love the dynamic you have between the two as friends. They lean on each other and understand each other so well and its just a really nice to see. You can really feel Scorps pain in this chapter. He feels like he let her down, not knowing that she had all these scars on her body. But of course, Rose has been very careful to make sure that no one knew about them so its not his fault about that. Although with the ending it seems like something did happen in the past where Scorpius let Rose down and it seems like maybe it had something to do with this whole situation. But I guess only time will really tell for me.

I love how well these chapters flow. I never trip over anything while reading and there aren't any mistakes that glare out at me either. Its all just really well written and very enjoyable to read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi!

I have to admit, I did chuckle a bit at this review. I didn't mean to make you gasp or tear up. But this chapter is pretty intense. Actually, it is the first thing I wrote for this story. I wrote from here forward and then filled in the previous chapters.

Scorpius just... doesn't know what to do with himself. He wants so, so much to be there for Rose, but he just doesn't know how to approach her. He doesn't want to disregard her horrible experiences, but also doesn't want to make her feel like a victim.

The past experiences between Rose and Scorp are the ones mentioned earlier - when he was sleeping around Hogwarts. He didn't know she had feelings for him (*she* didn't even know that) and he was still grieving for his parents. Nonetheless, they two of them danced around each other and never quite took that step - they were just really good friends.

Thanks for the compliment about the flow of writing - I'm so relieved. I edit each chapter several times, and read and reread, so it's good to know that is coming through. (sometimes you read it over so many times, you don't even know what it's saying anymore - haha)

♥ Beth


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Review #19, by slytherinchica08slowly: and then all at once

25th September 2014:
Sarah this was such a wonderful and cute oneshot and I just adored it! The thing I really like about it, is that the guy waiting for her really could be anyone so it leaves it up to the reader to imagine her soon to be husband and his reactions and what he looks like and there is a part of me that really likes that! This was just so cute and I really liked how you fit the quote into the story without actually having the quote in it! The idea that walking down the aisle is just like falling in love all over again is another really cute detail you added to this. I definitely could feel her excitement and anxiousness to get to him and how at first she kind of wanted to hide but then once she saw him waiting for her, he was the push she needed to continue on, and then her father had to hold her in place instead of pulling her along. I could definitely see Harry doing this and gah this whole thing just had me smiling so much and I feel like such an idiot smiling away at my computer at work but it just brought all these feels to me! This was really well done and very enjoyable! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey Erica! I'm so glad that you liked this one-shot. I worked really hard on making sure it flowed to the music and with the quote that I put at the beginning and the end. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and the way the whole story worked. I have a thing for weddings and engagements, and this particular piece was probably my favorite to write so far!

Thanks so much for the review!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #20, by slytherinchica08Dizzy: Dizzy

23rd September 2014:
Ahaha! This was such a cute and sweet story! I loved your characters they were simply fun and I couldn't help but smile at everything! The description in this was wonderful as well and I was very happy with the balance between description and conversation that you had in this. I love the secret that she has and while we don't see his reaction to the news, it was still really cute and I can imagine what will happen when she finally does tell him. Your original character seems really nice and like she may be a bit accident prone. I feel like maybe I've discussed your novel about these characters or read it some where because I feel like I remember discussing a character named sweet and being a Freddy story. I thought this was a cute look into their life together and seeing how they work together. I also liked how you tied the story title into the actual story as well as the quote about wanting their kids to be as crazy as they are I felt like it fit in really well! Great job!

~slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thanks for such a wonderful review! You actually talked to me about my NaNo novel, which is about Sweets and Freddie! I'm impressed you remembered that; I can barely remember what I read this morning!

Thanks for the kind words! I'll be reviewing your story soon! :)

-Leigh


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Review #21, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Besieged: Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Oh my goodness NO! And things were beginning to progress so well for Rose, but I did really like this chapter a lot as it continued to give us a little bit more of the background story. I do love how you are giving us that background information, its just small bits here and there and they just fit so well into the story line and it doesn't feel forced or anything and its just really wonderful! I wonder though how these events are going to affect Rose and her relationships in particular, her relationship with Scorpius as I can see it going either way, with her needing him around more to feel more protected, or wanting to stay away from everyone. With each chapter, I continue to find myself wanting more information to figure out what is going on and how this is all going to end up and while I know that only reading on will really tell me... gosh I really just want to know now! This is such a wonderful story and I'm really finding this very addictive and its definitely among my top stories! This is such a great read and I'm really glad that I came across it in the review tag. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi,

Yeah, this chapter was a bit different than the previous few. Rose seemed so happy and on her way to healing when it all comes crashing down. :( I also wanted Rose to come to terms with her torture. She's hidden it for so long, if she kept up the ruse, it would've gotten in the way of her and Scorpius's relationship. I really didn't want this particular story to be about how they can't get around each other. I have *other* things planned...

I'm so excited that you are hooked on this story. I really, really hope I don't disappoint you - haha!

Aaah! among your top stories! I just. Oh my - THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And I saw you nominated it for a Dobby - I'm just so overwhelmed by all of it, I don't know what to say.

I really, really appreciate all of the reviews.

Thanks again,

♥ Beth


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Review #22, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Better: Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Ah another wonderful chapter. I really liked the look into Roses pov of these events and what brought her to Harry's office. I like how she had a motherly instinct that took over her and she immediately started fixing the scraps and cuts and broken bones that had come from Harry and Al's duel. I loved the bit about Harry and how much he loves Rose and how much he wanted a daughter. I thought it was really sweet to include in the chapter and really added another dynamic to their relationship rather than just being Uncle and niece. I was so sad about how short that this chapter was but I did feel that it ended in a great spot so I can understand why it is so short. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of the story and I apologize that this review isn't nearly as long as the others. But it was a wonderful chapter and I greatly enjoyed it! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey!

So glad you picked up on Rose's Healer instincts. She really feels like a different person when she is in that mode. And that comes back in later chapters.

I know this one was short - sorry - but I wanted a little sweetness between Rose and Harry and then to get Rose and Scorp moving again!

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #23, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bitter: Scorpius POV

23rd September 2014:
AHAHAH! That ending was just so perfect and amazing and I can't stop smiling and chuckling at it! I really liked this chapter a lot! You really have done a great job with this story and the voice is just so wonderful and so well done. The whole thing flows together so well and I quickly find myself finished with the chapter wondering where it has gone and wanting to continue reading!

I really loved your characterization in this! Each person really came to life in this chapter from the small mentions of Ron and Teddy to Harry and Rose and Al and Scorp. Each one was portrayed so wonderfully and different from each other and so realistic. I loved how relaxed you had Ron while Harry and Al were getting rather heated during their duel and then the bits about Teddy starting off as relaxed and then slowly catching on to how things were becoming. Then there is the bit where Scorp stepped in and diffused the situation and made it seem like that was really all there was going to be of the duel was also a really nice touch to add! So really the characterization in this chapter was completely spot on and wonderful!

I really like the relationship between Al and Scorp. They definitely act a bit like brothers, teasing each other and also understanding each other without having to really say anything. The small look we got into Scorps date/not date with Rose was really cute too and I thought it was a nice little touch! And then there is the bit with Harry and I was just gushing! I loved how he didn't realize just how much stress he was really putting on Al but then because of this duel, he ended up realizing that he needed to do a better job of letting people know when they have done a good job on something. It was a very realistic trait to add in and really brought Harry's character even more to life. And then I loved how Harry still treats Scorpius a bit like a son as well, caring for his feelings and not really wanting to admit that he believes that Albus is the best in the class, but then also giving Scorpius the compliment that he is really good at diffusing situations, which I believe could very much come in handing especially as an Auror.

Really this whole chapter was so well put together and all of the small little details that went into it really stood out to me. Things like naming the exams S.N.A.K.Es and explaining what they meant really made this story a bit more grounded into the universe that we already know and I love that you have extensive training that needs to be done as well as exams that need to be passed as I think that's a very realistic thing to add to the story. There were a few small typos that I noticed throughout the chapter, but they were very few and didn't mess with the flow of the story at all so not a big deal.

The pacing is wonderful and everything just flows so well together. I'm honestly going to be very sad when I end up at the end of the posted chapters and then have to wait on updates because I want to know what is going to happen now! Also Scorpius and Rose must get together, they are just so cute together in everything that you have already portrayed and I just want them to be happy. Anyways, great job and I look forward to reading the next chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi there!

Holy cow, this review was so amazing. I can't tell you how excited I am that you like my story. I just get so elated when I check online and you've left me one for another chapter. Thanks ♥

Al and Scorp are pretty much brothers, but that doesn't stop Al from being a bit over-protective of Rose. He's not gonna let Scorpius get away with anything. I think he just sees that they are perfect for each other.

Scorpius can lose his temper at time (usually when it comes to Rose), but overall, he is the cooler head. He also has the ability to calm others and see the big picture.

Haha - I just can't get past the fact the Ron will always be a *tiny* bit clueless.

So glad you like the S.N.A.K.E.s! I did put a bit of background into both the Auror and Healer training programs.

I'll check on those typos. I have a beta for this story now, but we haven't gotten to this chapter.

Glad you liked the ending :) Al just couldn't help himself - haha!

♥ Beth


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Review #24, by slytherinchica08Upper Class: Chapter One

21st September 2014:
I loved the ending of this chapter! That was just so mean and yet wonderful at the same time! It will definitely help for the dramioneness of the story and to bring that about. I always find these kind of stories my guilty pleasure as I really can't help but read them and enjoy them, including the ones where Hermione is really Blaises sister. I thought that this was a wonderful opening to your story. It sets it up perfectly and gives me a good idea of where things are going to be going from here. The only thing I can suggest would be to maybe add in some more descriptions such as the apartment and the likes. Overall though, it was a very enjoyable first chapter! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica!

I'm so glad you liked the ending. it kind of gets this story more exciting, than it really is.
Seriously, I've been hearing a lot about those stories and I have never come across one! I would love to read them, just to see what it's all about.

Yes, I will definitely do that in the future, putting more details in it.

Thank you so much for your review!
- Avi


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Review #25, by slytherinchica08Actions Speak Louder than Words: Besotted: Rose POV

20th September 2014:
Gosh with each chapter you just keep hitting me in the feels you know? Like seriously I'm just sitting here staring at my screen so happy and yet upset at how dumb they have both been/are being! How can they not see that they are meant to be for each other, come on you two get together already! GAH! I just want to lock them in Scorps room and not let them out until they have admitted how they feel to each other and finally start dating!

I liked that we got more of an idea of what happened to Rose back then, what with the marks and all,but I still have so many questions! I can tell that this isn't the full story of what happened to her, there is definitely more going on that we don't know about yet but I think that you've given us the perfect amount of information to keep your readers satisfied but yet wanting more! And that can be a really tricky balance to keep up and I think you are doing a fantastic job of it!

I love Roses pov and I can definitely see why this has won an award as its really well done! I think that this is a wonderful little gem of a story that I've stumbled upon through the review tag and I'm so glad that I have. Each chapter just continues to make me fall in love with this story and want to continue reading! The characterizations are wonderful and touching and so real. The thing I love the most about them so far is that they are done with a very realistic feeling to them. They have their faults and things that they are working through but they also have the things that are just so sweet and friendly and I just love it!

I also give you props for making up your own spell as I always find that as being one of the hardest parts. I can never seem to settle on a new spell or potion and end up reverting back to what we have already been given. The use of the different pieces in the potion were really well thought out too. I liked how you mentioned using a different ingredient the next time as the one seemed to only revert Scorp back to being drunk. It was a very inventive idea and really interesting to see and then bringing it back up in the end was a nice little tie in.

This story continues to pull me and is just absolutely wonderful. You can bet that I will be back again soon (if not today) to leave another review! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hello again,

Wow - you've blown me away with all of these amazing reviews. I'm glad that you feel so attached to the characters. I didn't want the love story to move too fast. I feel like that either feels false OR you fall into the "on again, off again" trap.

They are seriously into each other - BUT Rose still hasn't been completely honest with Scorpius about her past. I think that she needs to reconcile that for herself first before she can move on with him.

I really like coming up with my own magical ideas - and I'm so relieved that it's coming off as believable. The absolute worse thing a writer can do is make a story seem completely contrived, so that is a huge weight of my chest.

Potions are fun! I think that would've been my favorite class at Hogwarts. Sometimes, I feel it gets a bad rap because of Snape, but Rose (at least in my story) is really great at potions.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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