Reading Reviews From Member: Elenia
246 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EleniaWhere My Heart Lies: The Four Envelopes

14th January 2014:
Ooh, interesting...

So there are four different secret societies at Hogwarts. I wonder what they're for, what makes them all different, how they were founded in the first place. So many questions, so little answers, but I guess it'll all make sense in the end (:

So Albus got a letter from Puritas. That's the evil one then, or at least Abby will suspect so, based on your summary. Hmm, the letter was definitely more forceful that the others.

Oh, and Melody got some letters too. Multiple I think, just based on what she said. 'Did you get any?' She would've used the word one, if she had in fact gotten only one. Unless she already knew about the societies, that there were more of them than one. Haha, now I'm just jumping to conclusions and reading into the situation too much, aren't I? d:

I really do find this whole idea intriguing. It's like sorting all over again, but only for a selected few. That makes me wonder about the groups even more. What do they consider as important qualities in a person? It'll be interesting to see as to why they all would want Abby to join them, but then only Puritas approached Albus. Hmm...

Your writing is very strong and constant in this one. I liked it how you concentrated only on a few characters in this one and there weren't so many people to remember.

Loved Abby and Riley. They're really cute together. At the moment I really don't want them to break up and I wonder what could possibly happen to them. Or maybe you're just teasing us with her crush on Albus and nothing will happen with those too d: Her crush on the younger Potter boy doesn't feel as strong as it did during the first chapter, probably because I don't think there was any mention of it in this chapter, even though there were several opportunities. Maybe it's only a small one for now then?

I'm guessing the eventual breakup (if it will happen) has something to do with the societies. Riley is definitely in one, I'm certain of that. So maybe Abby will end up choosing one that's a rival to Riley's society? Maybe there's a rule that you can't date a person from a different society d: see, now I'm just speculating. You've given me too many ideas (x I think I need to stop now before I make a complete fool of myself with silly guesses ^^

Lovely job, dear (: can't wait to read the next one!

Take care!


Author's Response: Hi Hanna!

Haha, I promise you there will be answers to all of your questions in due time! I have a chapter dedicated to each society and their introduction, and then at least one on how and why they were founded!

Um... maybe? (yes...) And yes, Puritas is not known for it's *subtle* threats... Ooh yes, Melody definitely got more than one! I'm glad you caught that! And you might be... All I can tell you is that Melody got more than one!

Yes, it is like the sorting ceremony, but more selective! And don't worry, the individual qualities they look for will be explained in their individual introduction chapters!

And thank you very much! And yes! Riley and Abby! They're so cute! And I can't tell you anything about them, but I want to! Well, Abby certainly fancies Albus, but I can't promise that Abby and Riley won't have their difficulties... And nope, she really does fancy Albus a lot, although I can promise he won't be breaking Riley and Abby up any time soon.

And you are partially right on their potential (possible!) breakup. And there's no rule like that, although the societies do add pressure to every member. I'm sorry for making you speculate, but to be honest, you have some very good ideas and I like hearing them!

Thank you so much darling! This was very nice to read, so thanks or taking the time to review!

 Report Review

Review #2, by EleniaWhere My Heart Lies: The Masquerade Ball

12th January 2014:
Gryffie tag ^^

Such an intriguing idea you have for this story! Caught my attention immediately. I don't think I've ever read anything similar, so I'm definitely interested in seeing where you'll take this.

Abby seems like a lovely main character. She definitely was entertaining. Loved that she was just too lazy to wake up earlier to put some makeup on ^^ I think you did a good job describing her throughout the chapter. Clever using this masquerade ball as 'an interview' so the readers could understand what kind of a girl she really is. I liked that she had a humble side too and got a bit embarrassed when Rose and Albus were praising her.

So, Albus is the best friend and she has a little crush on him? That can lead to interesting situations. I still like how you described her relationship with Riley, and how she really connects with him and likes him too, and he's not just there to make Albus jealous. I hope he doesn't turn out to be a jerk (:

Her other friends didn't make that big of an impression yet, there was so little of them. I think Wendy was the only one who really stood out of them. I think you could develop their characters a bit more, but I guess this is just the first chapter and there really wasn't that much time to show their differences yet (:

Your writing is good and fluent. This was a really strong first chapter and can't wait to read more (:


Author's Response: Hello!

Ooh yay for interesting!

And I'm so glad you liked Abby! She's one of my favourite OCs (and I have a lot unfortunately...). And I didn't think that stating that the ball was like an interview gave the reader an insight to her personality, but thanks for pointing that out because I like that part that much more now!

And her humble side is really just her not liking being talked about - especially her writing - but I'm glad you liked that part!

And yes, the crush is quite... destructive as I get into later chapters. But Riley and Abby are so cute and I love them and he doesn't turn out to be a jerk, he's basically the sweetest person ever, which is why Abby liking Albus hurts me (and I'm the writer!).

I will definitely try and amp up the other friends, although that will probably come in the next chapter, but thanks for pointing that out! It really helps!:)

Thank you so much, this was helpful and made me smile, so thank you some more!

 Report Review

Review #3, by EleniaHeading Out to the Highway: Decompression

11th January 2014:
Hi! *waves*

Yeah, it really is me, can you believe it? I actually managed to review something! But shh, don't tell my beta, he might think I'm procrastinating since I should be finishing the next chapter d:

But I just couldn't resist. I stumbled on your author's page and I was like: 'Hmm... a song fic? Really, Dan? I'm a bit surp- it's about Sirius? Okay, now I have to read it. Wonder what song he picked - wait, isn't that a Judas Priest song?' then when I realised it actually was a Judas Priest, I think I might have stopped breathing for a moment and I knew there was no way I could stop myself from clicking this story open (x Seriously, how cool are you for doing a Judas Priest song fic!! I'm fangirling a little over here, hope you don't mind d:

I'm a bit surprised though that I haven't seen this earlier. Have you mentioned this to me and I've just forgotten it? It's not that long since I last visited here, is it? Never mind, don't answer that...

Okay, on to the actual review before I use all my remaining characters on pointless babble.

The choice of song first, I think it was fabulous. It fits Sirius and this story perfectly. You couldn't have picked a better one. The lyrics go with every situation you created, only adding to the story and not interrupting the flow like they often do in song fics. I love it how you managed to take the message from the song and turn it into a story.

Your Sirius was absolutely flawless. All that anger and frustration. One of my favourite things here is actually that you manage to make him sound young and reckless! Sometimes people just make him sound too mature and that definitely doesn't suit him. He might have his moments, but to me he is exactly like you've portrayed him here.

Oh and love it that even the voice of reason in his head is Remus's. He certainly has a good influence on our Sirius here ^^

Okay, I have to say, I was confused at the beginning for a little while, since I first imagined this to be set to the time when Sirius ran away from home and I was going to point out why Lily was at James's house, but at some point I realised Sirius must be older and that this was some kind of a visit back to Grimmauld place? I never personally imagined that he would set foot in that place again while his parents were still alive, but I'm willing to change my opinion on that just because this story was so amazing (x because this has to be canon, there's no other option.

dungeon muppets - gotta love your choice of words here (x

I collected a bunch of things I wanted to quote, but then this wouldn't be a 12+ review anymore (x so let me just tell you: Bravo, good sir. This was such an amazing piece of storytelling that had me chuckling throughout the whole story. There is something addictive about your writing that makes me want to read more and more. I think I've said this several times already, but WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING YOUR OWN STORIES?? You have to do it!

Along with your characterization of Sirius, I think you did spectacular work with the whole Black family. Poor Reg, becoming the first Death Eater who was too young to shave. That, and the preceding description of Bella made me laugh so hard, my husband thought there was something seriously wrong with me.

The muggle-baiting part was another thing that was spot on. I could imagine it so easily. The thrill of the race, that tweedy doorknob in the Jag. All thanks to your flawless descriptions. Where do you come up with those? I felt like I was actually there, racing those narrow roads in the countryside on the back of Sirius's motorcycle. Wait, this is starting to sound like a daydream...

Err, let's move on, shall we?

Wonderful work, dear! You once again managed to amaze me with your writing. It's a bit unfair how one person can be so versatile. Share some talent, will you d:

That's it from me now. Sorry if my reviewing skills are completely rusty and I'm just babbling without actually making a point d: As always I don't have any constructive criticism to share, just a lot of fangirling (x

Take care ^^


Author's Response: Hi, Hanna!

I have been so terrible about responding to reviews for the past few days... I should be in some sort of Author detention. Let's get about rectifying that, shall we?

Yes, I wrote a song fic. I guess everybody should try it at least once, and for a long time I've thought this song was a fantastic match for Sirius. Actually, nearly everything on Defenders of the Faith works well with him, but the whole highway theme meshes so perfect with Sirius and his motorcycle!

That's so nice of you to say about Sirius being flawless. I'm sure there's a flaw or two there somewhere, but I'm not really going to encourage you to go looking for them. ;) The bigger relief, actually, was that you thought he was age-appropriate. That was tricky to get right.

I've always imagined Remus as "The Voice of Reason" for the Marauders. Every close-knit group of friends has one. So it seemed sensible that "The Voice of Reason" inside Sirius's head would be the same voice he'd grown used to hearing for seven years of school.

You are correct. This is set after Sirius, James, et. al. are finished with Hogwarts. I sort of imagined Sirius agreeing, very reluctantly, to visit his family. Perhaps to try to talk them out of supporting Voldemort. Or maybe just to try to help his younger brother. No matter the reason, it obviously didn't work out well.

Re: dungeon muppets. While I was writing this, I learned that "muppet" is a British insult that has nothing to do with Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie the Bear and the rest of their friends. Who knew, right? But I instantly fell in love with it.

This is a tricky one to write a 12+ review for, but hey, you're one to talk! So many times I want to quote some spectacular bit of Gwen of James's dialog and I can't. Why am I not writing my own stories? Because I'm still waiting for that one, spectacular idea to come to me. That and my near-total lack of free time.

I absolutely loved writing the scene where he's racing the muggle in the Jaguar. That was crazy, impulsive, reckless Sirius at his best. So much fun to let the scene play out! Gah, now I want to write another...

You are so kind and just generally so awesome. And I'm afraid I'll be keeping that talent to myself because it isn't as though you don't have plenty of your own! Don't be greedy, Hanna!

Thanks so much for the amazing review!

 Report Review

Review #4, by EleniaThe Quidditch Match: The Quidditch Final

11th January 2014:
Hi there ^^ I'm here from the review thread in the CR, although I probably would've wandered back here soon on my own too. I said I would be back, didn't I (:

Okay, so going trough your Author page, this one caught my attention immediately. One, it's Jily, my OTP ♥ and two, it's Quidditch. That's such a perfect combination, I knew I would love it before I even clicked it open. And I was right ^^ This was such an adorable one-shot, leaving me all fuzzy inside!

Characterization is definitely one of your strongest points. You did such a wonderful job describing these two. I liked how James had clearly matured from his earlier years at Hogwarts. But poor boy, I can imagine how shocked he must have felt, waking up to find Lily at his bedside. Who knew throwing yourself in front of a Bludger would accomplish that? I know James didn't. If he had, he would've done it sooner (;

I have so many favourite parts. James's pep talk was great, made me feel all excited about the game. And I loved how his gaze searched for Lily even if he didn't realise it at first. That was adorable. Also the mention that it was Remus who pointed out that his tactics with Lily weren't working, that made me chuckle. Trust Remus to be the voice of reason ^^

I really liked the Quidditch part, but I think I would've wanted you to go into it a bit more. I think it was a bit more rushed than the rest of the story.

But otherwise I think it was a very strong one-shot. Showed an important moment from their life. Oh and that ending, such an hopeful ending. It's kind of bittersweet, smiling at first at his happiness at that moment and then remembering what will happen to them.

Your writing was great as always and I'm once again applauding you for such effortless dialogue. It feels very real and natural.

Great work, dear (:


Author's Response: Hello again :)

Honestly, you've spoilt me so much with your lovely reviews, I honestly can't thank you enough!!

Jily is my OTP too!! Gah I just love the cuteness of the two of them :) I'm glad the story didn't disappoint!!

Yes, I much prefer older James. I'm really not into the shouty hate matches that go in between the two of them. I know it happened but I just ignore it :) I'm glad you liked his mature side though

Gah, I know the quidditch part is probably a little rushed. I had this idea in my head a long long time an just couldn't get it out and so that's why I wrote it - quidditch it turns out though is really hard to write so that's why it probably felt a little rushed. I must try and lengthen it one day...

Oh I know what you mean. I like to pretend the ending as we know it won't happen and I can leave them frozen in little moments of happiness like this. Maybe if I pretend hard enough...

Anyway, thank you so so much for an amazing review. I can't tell you how much I've loved reading them and how much I appreciate your thoughts and opinions.

Lauren :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by EleniaBefore They Fall: Head Boy and Girl

11th December 2012:
Hello, dear ^^

Such a lovely chapter once again! I'm already such a fan of your writing!

You're doing such a wonderful job with your characterization! I really love your Lily and James, they are perfect and just the way I always imagine them. Oh, and Dumbledore! He was so in character! He's such a difficult character to write, I could never do him justice, but I think you did an amazing job!

Is it weird that I liked the fight? I mean, of course I don't like that they fight, but I really liked the way you handled it! It was believable, and I could understand why they both got so worked up (even though they were being stupid and they should just kiss and make up)

Also, I really liked how James sought his friends after that. It shows how important their friendship is to him!

And yes! Peter! He speaks! I forgot to mention this in my last review, but that is such a wonderful thing and I'm very, very happy about that! Can you already tell this is one of my biggest pet peeves? Because it is. It's annoying when people just push him aside, make him completely invisible and he doesn't even get a single line in the whole story. Or that the other characters can immediately see he's shady or something like that. He was their best friend! James, Sirius and Remus trusted their lives in his hands. So if they couldn't see it, then I'm 100% certain nobody else did either!

Yep, calming down now d:

No wait, one more thing! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for NOT making Sirius the biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen! I will love you forever for that! I think he might flirt and enjoy the attention, but I don't think he was a player. And nothing annoys me more than seeing him change girlfriends more often than he changes his socks. /rant #2 over

Now I'm calming down! (x

Okay, I have to admit. I did frown a little bit when I read the mention of the Heads dorms. I mean, I think it's very possible that there actually was something like that. It makes perfect sense. But it's such an overused idea, and cliche. But I got over that quickly. Judging by everything else I've already seen in your story, I think you'll turn it into everything else but a cliche! Those 'sensors' were already a big proof of that!

This was such a lovely chapter! I really like how you're building everything up here and actually showing what their relationship is about! Wonderful job, dear ^^

Take care!


Author's Response: Hahah don't worry, I frown with you about the shared heads. But I just couldn't help myself! In British boarding schools there actually are Heads of the school, and they do get their own rooms. So it's not a huge leap to this, and I pinky promise to keep the shared dorms from being the reason Lily and James get in together :P.

And I HATE player Sirius. It makes no sense. Like you said, I'm sure he was very well liked and a huge flirt, but that's a big difference from flirting with sleeping with people. I have to stop myself from really getting critical when I read stories that have him as a player, because it drives me crazy.

And yay! I'm so happy you like the characters in this so far! Thank you so much for your awesome feedback! I will warn you that the next chapter has a bit of a cliche in it in the sense that there's a party to celebrate something James did, so don't hate me for that :P

Your reviews are so wonderful! ♥

 Report Review

Review #6, by EleniaAutumn falling: Lesson 2

10th December 2012:
It's me again ^^

Aww, Autumn and James ♥ they are just adorable together! Is it weird that I ship them already? I think it's weird. Oh well, nothing wrong with fangirling, right? (x But they just interact so well together and I get that friendship-y feeling from them.

Once again I'm chuckling at Autumn's little comments. She's the perfect narrator.

I'm glad she still seems to be close with her Mum, even though that can't be a nice situation she's in. Hopefully it won't cause any tiffs between them!

"The Potters have a lake in their garden. Just saying. Cough. How "ordinary". Cough." - my favourite part ^^

Anyways, such a lovely chapter! And once again an important lesson! Mums do see everything!

Take care!


 Report Review

Review #7, by EleniaLeave the Pieces: Dirty Little Secret

10th December 2012:
Hello, dear! I'm back ^^

Ooh, I really liked this chapter! Even more than I liked the previous one!

I think you found a great balance with this chapter when it comes to giving out information and showing what is happening. Everything flowed really well and I enjoyed the interaction between Aria and Claire.

Speaking of the two girls, I really liked them both! Aria is a lovely character and I like her as the narrator. And Claire, she was so bubbly! Great work on making them both different, and easily relatable!

Yep, definitely not liking Albus! *shakes her fist at him* You do not treat a girl as lovely as Aria like that! I hope he gets what's coming for him!

Lovely chapter, dear! I spotted a few little typos, but nothing a quick read through couldn't fix (: I really don't have anything constructive to say right now ^^

Will we meet James in the next chapter? What, who said that? It wasn't me, I'm not anxious at all d:

Take care!


 Report Review

Review #8, by EleniaBefore They Fall: Hogwarts Express

10th December 2012:
Yey, holiday swap time!

Ooh, I really liked this chapter! The beginning was so sad, I could really feel what Lily was going through and it made my heart ache /: I think you handled that really well!

Poor Lily though. That must be so horrible to go through! I really liked that she let James comfort her! She is a strong girl, I'm sure she will get through this!

I told you in my last review that I really liked your characterization of James's mother. Now I like her even more. Olivia was so caring and motherly, exactly like I picture her to be. Do we see her more in the future chapter? Please say yes ^^ Oh, and you absolutely have to make this story AU, because she just simply can't die. I won't allow that (;

James ♥ I think you did a very good job with him throughout this whole chapter! You could see the growth in him, but still the mischievous side of him was there.

Oh, and that little mention about Remus, and how he didn't want to reveal his condition to James's mother - that was a nice touch! I've always imagined Remus just like that! It always makes me angry when he reveals his secret too easily. But I'm glad you're avoiding that!

I'll spend this last paragraph muttering jealously about your descriptions and how flawless they were once again. They give this story so much ♥

Lovely work, dear! I'll read more soon ^^


Author's Response: Haha I've wanted to AU this so many times just because I hate the idea of ANY of them dying :(. BUT I will tell you this! She and William both do get to see the birth (well, not see, but are around for it) of their grandson :)! And they are in this quite a bit more! But not directly for sometime. The next chapter you actually see them in is 15. But then we see lots of them over Christmas holiday!

I don't like it either when Remus just blurts it out. Honestly, I'm not even thrilled about the idea of Lily knowing it. I mean she'll obviously figure it out, but it won't be because he just randomly decides to tell her his deepest darkest secrets. Through this I really try and keep their friendship, just the four of them, something special. No shouting their nicknames down the hall or telling everyone that they're the marauders...

You're reviews are so awesome m'dear ♥ Thank you so much for your wonderful attention to Before They Fall and I'm so happy you're enjoying it!

 Report Review

Review #9, by EleniaMonster: What Big Teeth You Have

10th December 2012:
Hello, dear. I'm here to return our Holiday swap ^^

Oh wow! What a chapter once again! This turned out to be completely different from what I expected (in a good way as always) I was't expecting it to be so action-filled, something I think I should've because you're a master writing those scenes! But more from that later.

The Memory Chapter! Such a clever idea! I'm in awe! How did you come up with that? I mean, to see it in action like that, it makes perfect sense that the Ministry has a Memory Chamber!

I can only imagine the looks on the Wizengamot members faces when they saw that memory. All that death and destruction *shudders* and so many of them were just kids! I can understand why they were just staring at the memory and didn't notice the change in Greyback before it was too late.

But a bunch of cowards they were! Hermione had to fight that thing all by herself (well Albus helped) and they just watched?

But Hermione and Albus were great! Perfect in fact! I really enjoyed reading that scene. Once again you managed to bring it to life and I was leaning closer to my laptop screen so I could get the maximun effect. It's so absorbing! And I'm left with a feeling that I want to fight too, I want to help! (x

Okay, trying to calm down now and stop fangirling... But I know where I'm coming if I ever need inspiration to write a fighting scene!

I think Albus's reaction was great. His doubts in the beginning and that one line: 'but the full moon was three weeks away'. That doesn't matter a thing in Greyback's case.

I really liked the fact that even though Hermione told him to run, he didn't. Reminded me so much of Harry right there.

One question! Just something that I pondered while reading this, but it's not a big deal really. It just struck me as bit odd that Kingsley wasn't there. I mean, the Wizengamot gatherings we witnessed in the books, Fudge was always the 'chairman' in those. So why not include him? Although while I was writing this, I remembered the hearings Harry witnessed through the pensieve and Croutch Sr. was leading those, and he wasn't a minister. So you can ignore me completely d:

Ooh, I wasn't expecting Seamus be the one who send the package! Such a nice twist! And I know exactly what you mean, it's stuck in my head too that he and Lavender were together.

But I really liked the ending! It tied this whole story together very nicely!

Oh, and this in completely your fault! Ever since I made you that banner, I've got Paramore's Monster stuck in my head! Seriously, I can't get rid of it!

Well done, Dan! Once again d: You have such a talent for writing and I always enjoy every second of reading your wonderful stories!

Write more! And take care ^^


Author's Response: Sigh. I feel bad about going 2 whole days without responding to this. I can blame it on the review swap and that would be partly true, but I also really love seeing it on my unanswered reviews page. So awesome!

Anyhow, I'm glad that after all this time I'm still able to surprise you every once in a while. This story was originally meant to be a one-shot, but it got so long and it had such a natural-feeling break point in the middle. I'm really pleased with how it worked out.

The Memory Chamber occurred to me when I was trying to figure out how on earth I was going to write a scene where one quarter of the members of the Wizengamot tried to pile into the same penseive. It wasn't going very well, as you might imagine. So I thought, hey, why not have an entire room that's one big penseive? The rest, as they say, is history. "I tried writing it the other way and it sounded stupid" is the mother of invention. ;)

It's true that nobody really jumped in to help Hermione fight Greyback except for Albus, but at the some time I'm not sure how much help she really wanted. It must have been deeply satisfying for her to take the monster down. That's all I'm saying.

I love writing fight scenes. Feel free to run anything by me that you like. Because, sooner or later, I think TntLY could use a good fight scene. ;)

Albus was really fun and useful to have around. He's a fresh set of eyes, not biased by all of the history that Hermione has with Greyback. He's willing to give Greyback a chance. Sure, it's the wrong decision, but you can see how he'd arrive at it.

I'm not sure whether I believe that Kingsley is still Minister at this time. I recall reading somewhere that Kingsley never planned to serve as Minister for very long. He made many important changes and cleaned house at the Ministry, but I can't see him as a career politician.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up a really lovely bit of head canon that had Seamus and Lavender in a very deep but secret relationship during the year that Snape and the Carrows ran Hogwarts. It's not canon, obviously, but if it's true, he must have been deeply hurt by her death. And he's hot-tempered enough to have wanted to take revenge on Greyback.

Sorry, I can't take credit for infecting your head with songs I don't know. :-P

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and all your lovely reviews!

 Report Review

Review #10, by EleniaAutumn falling: Lesson 1

9th December 2012:
Told you I was going to check out your stories ^^ and make it a Holiday review swap too d:

Ooh, I'm really liking Autumn! She's a very fun narrator, I loved all those little comments she made and that evil laughter (x Her name fits her personality really well, I'm adoring the last name you picked! Does somebody really have that last name in real life? Because if they do, I'm very, very jealous! I want to be fierce too!

Hmm, so James is the best friend? I wonder how long that lasts d: anyways, I really liked him. Seems like a very fun BF!

And her mum ♥ she reminds so much of my own d: Brings back memories, I've heard a similar lecture so many times in my past (x Thank god I've already moved (although it still hasn't stopped my mother)

This was such a fun chapter and I chuckled many times. It was quite short, but I still enjoyed it very much. My only suggestion would be expanding it a bit?

Oh, and I really like the idea that every chapter has a lesson in them. The first one is very important (; can't wait to see what the others are!

Lovely work, dear!

Take care!


 Report Review

Review #11, by EleniaBreak The Night: One

9th December 2012:
Hi, I'm here to return the Holiday review ^^

Oh Percy, he's such a misunderstood character in the books. He deserves a lot more attention and credit that he's been receiving (:

I did like your version of Percy, even though it's a bit different than the way I see him. But I think it worked. I could see recognizable characteristics in him and he seems to be an interesting protagonist. And Audrey! She was a lot closer to the way I picture her! Refreshing, that was the way Percy saw her, and I think that was exactly the reason he fell for her.

Your writing is very good and your descriptions were great! Everything flowed really well and the chapter held its interesting the whole time! That's always very important with first chapters, so I think you did a really good job (:

I would've liked to see Percy at least hesitating a bit before opening up to Audrey. I felt that happened a bit too easily. Maybe add a few lines about why he thought it was so easy to talk to her?

This might just be a personal preference, but I'd add fix the spacing. I just think it reads better if there's an empty line between the dialoque too (:

Anyways, this is a really good start! Hopefully you'll continue it soon (:

Take care!


Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for reviewing! I totally agree with you, he definitely deserves a lot more attention, and he is such a troubled soul. I'm glad that you think that it worked, and yes, that's exactly why he fell for her!

Thank you! I'm glad that it flows well, that was the one main concern that I had, as with every first chapter, you've got to nail it :)

I did actually think about that before putting it in the queue, but I never did anything to change it. I guess after your advice, i'll finally get round to doing it!

Sure thing! I'll fix that too asap. Thank you!
All these holiday review swaps have put me in the writing mood, so don't fear, a new chapter is on its way ;)

Thank you for such a sweet review!
- Abhi

 Report Review

Review #12, by EleniaLeave the Pieces: My Heart Canít Tell You No

9th December 2012:
Hello ^^

I love these Holiday review swaps, because it gives me the chance to find all these lovely stories!

I think you did a really good job with your first chapter. Your writing is really beautiful, and you handled your details and descriptions very well. That added a lot to your story!

I liked Aria. She seems like someone you can easily relate to and I could feel her sorrow. Can't wait to learn more about her. I'm not liking Albus very much right now (x

The story about Princess Aria was also very creative and lovely. It was such a nice way the let us learn more about Aria. But I do think there was a lot of background information to be learned here, so maybe balance that out a bit by expanding the scene? It's really just a minor thing, and you don't really have to do anything about that, but I just thought I should mention it since I got the feeling. Can you see I'm trying to be a little constructive here and not just gush about your wonderful chapter and writing skills d:

All in all I think this was a very good first chapter and I definitely want to read more! You're allowed to remind me if I take too long; I've been such a bad reader/reviewer lately, and I'm trying to break out of that now (:

Take care!


Author's Response: You are seriously way too nice! Yeah I know I tend to put in a lot of information into first chapters, bad habit of mine lol. I took that information though and applied it to my new story. So thank you for that. It would be way too much work to go back now and fix this entire story lol.

Thank you so much. You are awesome and this means so much coming from you.

 Report Review

Review #13, by EleniaAnd the Moon Lingers On: And the Moon Lingers On

8th December 2012:
Oh my. I think I'm experiencing a loss for words here.

I think I need to thank you first for dropping by at my review thread and giving me the reason to review your story too. Because I love this little one-shot and I would be very sad if I had not found it!

Sirius is one of my favourite characters and I really liked your version of him. He was very different than he usually is, showing a more serious side of him. But it really fit his character, to see him ponder such things, to feel so lost and not really understand who he really was.

I really liked Violet too. The difficulty with OC's and one-shots is that it's hard to tell everything you need to in such a short story, but I think you did a really good job with that!We didn't learn that much, but I think it was just enough to make her stand out.

And oh my, all those poetic sentences you have in there! This was a really hard pick, but this is my favourite one of them: 'Alone was a little less lonely.' It's such a beautiful sentence.

I think this was a very complete little story. Sometimes one-shots leave you wanting to know more and wanting the author to expand the story, but I think yours was perfect the way it was. That is always an accomplishment!

I'm really glad I got a chance to read this!

Take care!


 Report Review

Review #14, by EleniaBefore They Fall: Sirius Black

8th December 2012:
Finally! I've been meaning to start reading your story for so long, but I've been such a bad reader/reviewer lately. But now with the Holiday review swaps, I realised I got the perfect opportunity!

Still, I'm a bit angry with myself for not getting here earlier, because I can already tell how much I'm going to love this! *sigh* All those description. I'm so jealous right now of your talent! You just managed to bring this story to life and I was able to visualize it so easily. You really have the skill.

I really enjoyed this first chapter for multiple reason. The biggest probably is the whole scene you gave us. So many stories start with the first day at school/on the paltform, so it's refreshing to see a different beginning. Also an interesting choice to have Lily and James to live so near to each other.

And Sirius and the reason he ran away from home! I really liked that!

I think you did a great job with your characters. Although it's still hard to say since the chapter was short, and the story is just starting, but I have no doubts (: And I really liked your version of James's mother! She was just like I've imagined her to be.

Hmm, what else... Oh yeah, I loved the ending, even though it is so sad. But it makes me want to read more.

All in all, I think this was a very strong and interesting first chapter and you've definitely managed to hook me! So I will be back. Hopefully very soon (:

Take care, dear!


Author's Response: Hannah! Can I call you that? Dan always gets super excited when you send him a new chapter and gets all HANNAH FINALLY SENT ME THE NEXT CHAPTER so yeah I'm stuck with that name on my head :P

First off, I'm so sorry about all the Dobby stuff :(. That would be so disappointing to have one little mistake take you out of the running.

Awww you're going to make my all mushy. I'm so happy you like the description in this first chapter ♥

Olivia is one of my favorite people to write, haha. She just gives me those warm fuzzy awesome mommy feels and I think James was so lucky to have her and William as parents.

I can't tell you how much your review has meant to me! And I'm very excited to check out the next TnTLY chapter!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #15, by EleniaA Light That Never Goes Out: A Light That Never Goes Out

7th December 2012:
Hello, dear! It's Holiday Review Swap time!

*sigh* This is just so lovely ♥ I've actually read this a very long time ago, but I was such a bad person and didn't review /: But I'm fixing that now!

First off, James and Lily! My OTP! I love them so much and I think you've done such a wonderful job with them! Especially James and his little Hero-comment in the end there, he was perfect (:

I've always had this image that it was Lily who eventually asked James out, so it was really nice seeing you use that. And I think you handled it really well! They both were so cute ♥ I loved the part where James just stopped, not even noticing he was getting wet because he was too shocked d:

As always, I just love your writing and those little details and descriptions you manage to slip everywhere. I could easily paint the picture in my head.

Lovely job, dear! You're a fabulous writer!

Author's Response: Aw, you're never a bad person. ♥

I've never been a fan of the whole Lily-hates-James bit, honestly - love/hate relationships aren't much fun when there's really hatred. Even Pride and Prejudice wasn't a proper love/hate relationship, just Lizzie being prideful and frustrated and Darcy being uncomfortable and clueless. I've always seen Lily as someone who found James to be kind of attractive, especially once he calmed down a bit, and the idea that she'd ask him out really appealed to me on a lot of levels.

♥ I'm so glad you liked this. Thank you for the swap!

 Report Review

Review #16, by EleniaMonster: In Sheep's Clothing

4th December 2012:
I know, I'm as surprised as you! I'm actually reading/reviewing something! But I just couldn't resist, this seemed like such an interesting story. And I wanted to see if the banner really fit the story ^^

But seriously, Dan, never let me disappear for as long as I have now! While I was reading this chapter, I actually realised how much I've missed reading fics, especially yours (:

All those little descriptions you slip in there just brought this story to life. And the characterization! *sigh* I think I've mentioned that in every single review I've left you. But it's true, every time I'm just left speechless of how amazing your characters are and how well you manage to keep them true to their canon.

I think the plot is very interesting. And different - such a clever idea. I haven't read many fics about Greyback, something I should definitely change since he's a very intersting character. I like how you described him and managed to make him so terrifiying.

I would've liked to see a little mention of how the conditions in Azkaban have changed after the war, since the dementors are out of the picture. I don't know, there was just something about Greyback's behaviour that was a bit too easygoing for someone who has been in the prison for the past 25 years. Although like Hermione said, he is a monster, so maybe it hasn't affected him in the same way.

I really like how you included Albus, and the way you introduced him. Oh, and that little mention about how only a handful of Wizengamot member showed up to the 'simple parole hearing', that was a nice touch!

Hmm, there was something else I wanted to mention, but I can't remember it now. Too many wonderful things in your story d:

Oh, right, the Memory Chamber! Can't wait to see what that is!

I think that's it from me now. My reviewing skills are very, VERY rusty atm, so I don't think I managed to say anything constructive this time. I'll try to do better with the next chapter once I have a change to read it. Although I promise it won't take me FOUR MONTHS! to get to it! Seriously, I checked, it's been four months since I last reviewed your story! *shakes her head* I'll write TntLY faster if you forgive me? ^^

Okay, I'll stop babbling now and go. Lovely story, can't wait to read more!

Take care *hugs*


Author's Response: Hip hip hooray! I haven't been this happy to see somebody back on my reviews page in a long, long time! I have missed you so!

Doesn't your banner look amazing on this? Congratulations, by the way, on your rapid rise through the ranks at TDA!

I'm really glad that you liked the characterization and the "canonality" of the characters. You know how important that is to me, and I really needed Hermione to be herself in order to sell this one.

Greyback is definitely a centerpiece of this story, but it isn't so much "about" him, I don't think. It's a little hard to explain until you've read the whole thing. I think you might change your opinion as to what it's actually about.

I didn't think too much about how things are at Azkaban, to be honest. Obviously it's still no picnic. But, there are some opportunities for the prisoners to be rehabilitated, which Greyback has obviously taken advantage of. That said, he's very eager to get out.

I never really thought of Albus as an Auror. He's too shy and reserved. Following his aunt's footsteps seemed like a much better choice for him.

Ah, the Memory Chamber. That was a concept of my own creation. I hope you like it.

Bah! Your reviewing skills are fine! And I forgive you, although I *do* expect faster writing on your story! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Big hugs back at you!

 Report Review

Review #17, by EleniaLa Ville de l'Amour: Prologue

5th September 2012:
Yey, a new story ♥

I'm so excited about this and all the plans you have for it! You need to write faster, and once again divide yourself into more parts so you can write all your WIPs!

Anyways, this was amazing (like everything else you write)! I love it how you kept it as a mystery who the man in the chapter is, that's great. Even though I already know who it is (;

Also, I still haven't gotten rid of the image of Voldemort in a top hat! That's just priceless! You should've had that in your banner! (No, not really, I love your current banner! Aaron&Karen ♥)

Update soon, okay? ^^


Author's Response: Woop woop! New story time!

Haha, seriously. I have WIP issues. If I wrote all of my ideas, I'd never get anything finished. D:

Hahaha, yes you do. Now shhh! before someone guesses :P

Ah, yes. Voldy in a top-hat. I'm going to have so much fun with this story... ;)

I shall try! (Maybe if I have some Gwames, I'll be more motivated, yes? Yes. >:D )

Love, love, love.

 Report Review

Review #18, by EleniaWhat means most: Food for thought

20th August 2012:

Hi! I'm here finally ^^ I never managed to get to my laptop yesterday and I hate reviewing with my phone, so sorry for the tiny delay.

But anyways, I think this was adorable. Your writing was beautiful and I could easily paint the picture in my head. Especially since it's your first fic! Excellent job.

I liked both Harry and Ginny, I think you did a good job with both of them. I could easily see characteristics that I could recognise in both of them.

I do have to admit though, I'm not the biggest fan of switching POV's, especially during a chapter. I wouldn't have minded that much if this one was from Ginny's POV and the next one was from Harry's, but when it's done in the middle of the chapter, it breaks the flow for me. But that's just a personal preference, nothing to do with your story (:

I did think it was maybe a bit too light, considering what had just happened and how much they had experienced during the past year. I did enjoy it, but I think their thoughts should've been a bit darker to make it more believable.

Few minor typos/missing commas here and there, but nothing big. I can't even remember where they were, so it wasn't a big deal.

Well done! I'll read the next chapters soon (:


Author's Response: Thank you I'm glad you like it! Thank you for being honest about the POV's, it's just how the story started coming out, is there a way you'd think different POV's could be more subtle in the same chapters? Feel free to PM me if you have an idea, I'm glad the typos weren't big, 'cause I did just redo this and wondered how it went :) Thanks for the feedback! I can't wait for you to read the rest, I'm glad you liked it that much :D

 Report Review

Review #19, by EleniaInfection: Infection

16th August 2012:

I don't think I have ever read Bloody Baron's tale before, so this was a completely new experience for me. But I'm really glad I got the chance because I enjoyed it very much ^^

I think you did a wonderful job in describing how he was feeling. The way he couldn't really accept and admit it first, calling it only as an infection, that was brilliant. Oh, and Uther! Such a fitting name for him, I really liked that!

And how he comes to realise what he has done and the remorse he feels was very real and believable. And how it all comes to an end... its such a sad story.

But it was so short! Your beautiful story only left me wanting for more! But at the same time I don't want you to change a thing from it because it was perfect as it was. This can only be resolved by me reading more of your work (:

Such a beautiful story. Definitely one of my favourites from the Founders-era. So thank you for writing it ^^ And thank you once more for all the work you did for the House Cup! You guys are brilliant!


 Report Review

Review #20, by EleniaMerry Go Round: Merry Go Round

15th August 2012:
Oh this was such a bittersweet story.

It's so beautiful, the way you describe everything was done really well and I could easily feel what she was going through. And the references to the merry-go-rounds were a nice touch.

I really liked your Lily. You made her real and believable, showing that she wasn't perfect but had actual flaws. And such a different characterization than I've usually read. That is definitely one of your strengths as a writer.

And who was he? Just an OC, or maybe Canon? I immediately thought of Scorpius, but that's probably because in the few Lily-stories I've read, she's always been paired with him.

I really liked the idea of this one-shot. They have such an unhealthy relationship, but these things really happen and I can easily relate to that.

"It's such a fine line to cross, and I stumbled too much - dipping my toe in the hatred and throwing myself into the love."
^My favourite line!

Lovely work. Thank you for the reading experience and also, thank you so much for all the work you did in the House Cup (:


Author's Response: Heya :) I hope you're okay. Aw! Thank you, this was something I just wrote on a whim one day. Thank you, I'm so glad you felt like that. And thanks, I thought anyone could fall into a destructive relationship. Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my characterization skills, creating characters are one of my favorite things about writing. It could be anyone, but Scorpius works well, but I thought I'd leave it pretty open ended. Thank you. Yes, it happens and you can see why people go back for more, because they are addicted. Thank you, I'm glad you liked that line. Thanks so much for the nice review, it's made my day! I hope you have a wonderful day. xx

 Report Review

Review #21, by EleniaClockwork: Clockwork

11th August 2012:
Hey ^^

I always have weird feelings about this pairing. I don't really support it (Jily all the way) but I still find myself oddly fascinated by it. There were so many wondeful choises on your author page, but I still ended up picking this.

But I'm glad I did! Because this was a marvellous one-shot. I think this is maybe as much that could've happened between Sirius and Lily before she started a relationship with James, so I found this to be very believable.

I especially enjoyed all those little details you managed to slip into your writing and all those comparisions to a clock, the metaphors were really beautiful.

You did a good job with Lily's emetions! That must have been a hard time for her, how she lost her best friend and even though James tried to defend her, his arrogance didn't do him any good. It all must have been very confusing for Lily.

Sirius was very much in character too. I especially liked it how you didn't make him open up to Lily. Even though he realised she could see through the guards he had put up, he still refused to admit anything.

All in all, a very beautiful and whole one-shot! Well done! And thank you for all your work in the House Cup!


 Report Review

Review #22, by EleniaThe Time of Day: The Time of Day

9th August 2012:
Oh wow! This was such a beautiful story! I actually read it twice in a row, just to let everything sink.

I really like your writing. The descriptions were spot-on perfect and everything flowed in a very enchanting way. It was so beautiful and sad. My favourite part of it has to be the characters. I enjoyed very much to see all those little details you gave us that made them so canon.

I loved your Lily! She was everything I'd picture her to be in a similar situation. It's really heartbreaking to think how their friendship ended, and I think she would've done something like this to help him move on.

I don't know when I figured out that the small boy was Sev. I guess I knew all along as I read everything in the summary properly before clicking this story open, but I think it was really nice how you still left it unclear.

Oh, and I think you chose his age perfectly. Severus never had a cheerful or easy life, but I think that was the time when he was the happiest. He had high expectations of his life and he thought anything was possible.

The bite marks on his neck were a perfect addition and the ending made me want to cry. Such a beautiful thought to make her say 'Always' to him.

But come on! Rushed and contrived? I didn't think that way at all! Sure, you could've made the ending longer, but I think it worked really well the way it was. As did the plot. I think it was clever and very thoughtful. Definitely one of the best afterlife stories I have read on this site! So do not doubt your skills at all ^^

Overall, I think this was an amazing one-shot. I definitely need to check your other stories too, since this was so brilliant! So thank you for the reading experience, and also, thank you for all your work in the House Cup!


Author's Response: Thank you so much, Elenia. What an unexpected treat to get such a lovely review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I felt the same way about Snape; his childhood was far from ideal but I think those moments with Lily were still the happiest times of his life and he would "retreat" there after death. And if Lily were to somehow know all Snape went on to do to help Harry and why, I think she'd be more than happy to help him "move on."

I'm afraid I'll always doubt my writing abilities but I really appreciate all the kind words of encouragement. I hope you enjoyed the House Cup this year. They're always such fun to plan. Thank you again.

 Report Review

Review #23, by EleniaAnd All That Jazz: Darkness, Time, And All That Jazz

8th August 2012:
Ooh, a speedy update! Me likes! ^^

I'm happy that things are at least slightly brighter for Aria. She deserves to be happy already, so stop making her cry d:

Hmm, I wonder what's up with Dom? Oh, oh, maybe she has a crush on Jett and is angry because Aria hurt him? That would be great because then Jett could be happy with her, and give James and Aria a chance! That would be absolutely perfect!

I like Aiden! I'm glad Aria has him as a friend!

And Jett, it's nice that he's coming around too, but he should've walked Aria to the pitch, and then he could've had a shouting match with James and beaten some sense in his head! *nods frantically* that would've been such a cool confrontation d:

But no, instead Aria goes there alone and has to deal with that angry you-know-what all by herself. Urgh, somebody really needs to punch James. You do not shout to other people like that, especially girls! But you really did a good job with that scene! It was so intense and I could really feel James's anger through y laptop screen.

Urgh, I want to be angry with hi, but I really can't because he sort of had a reason to be mad, because he couldn't possibly know what really happened between those two.

But now I'm really worried for Aria! What's the matter with her? Please don't let it be anything serious, okay? She's going through enough already!

Okay, now I am angry with James! Why does he have to be stubborn? Who has asked him to choose? He hasn't even talked to Jett about it! If he'd only apologize and admit how he really feels about her, things could be so much easier! And if Jett told him to choose, then he could ponder which one he should pick. But now he's just making things harder for himself (and Aria). Because if Jett is a great friend, he would not make him pick!

See, you have to be a brilliant author to cause such strong emotions in me! I mean, come on! They're just characters in a story! Why do I get so agitated by them?

He said it, didn't he? He had to say it, but I can't understand why he still left! *sniff* stupid James. If he comes crawling back, Aria should tell him to go somewhere where the sun don't shine! Because he's deserve that (and then she could take him back when he showed enough remorse and they could life happily ever after and make super cuter Quidditch playing babies!) *more frantic nodding* doesn't that sound perfect?

Anyways, what I'm trying to say with all this pointless rambling is that I love your story and this chapter was really amazing and emotional! Well done, dear! I can't even describe how happy I am every time this story pops on top of my favourites list! Hopefully the next update will be as speedy as this one? ^^

Oh, and I would definitely be interested in reading that new story!

Take care!


Author's Response: Oh my goodness. The length of all your reviews for me. Me likes as well! ^^

I know, I'm horrible to her, and I really shouldn't be.

Nice try, but no. Dom doesn't have a crush on Jett - she's dating Connor, remember? But that would be perfect... Ah, well.

I like Aiden too ♥

Ahaha, that would have been a cool confrontation. But sadly, it would not have happened because James would not have screamed at Aria if Jett had been there, and Jett wouldn't have yelled at him either because he's working on forgiveness.

James needs to learn another way to take out his anger. He has temper problems, that child. But you're right - you don't yell at people like that, and especially not girls. I'm glad I did a good job on it, though :D

You're right again. He had no way of knowing, but he still shouldn't have been screaming at her.

Nah, she'll be okay. It's like James said - she just hasn't been eating enough because she's been so upset. It's nothing serious, promise.

He's so stubborn because he's James, and that's just the way he is. A bad reason, I know, but it's true. No one but James asked him to choose - he's doing what he thinks he has to, even if he's wrong about that. Again, you are correct in saying that he should talk to Jett. But he won't, because he's stubborn and scared that he's going to lose his best friend.

Because the characters are just so agitating and frustrating :P

I'm not saying whether he did or not... Ahaha, yeah, she should tell him that, but she wouldn't because she loves him too much. But he does deserve it, at least I think he does, even if he /thinks/ he's doing it for the right reason.

(By the way - super cute Quidditch playing babies. I love that.)

Ahhh thank you so much. You're so nice and kind and lovely to me. I adore reading these reviews, so thank you again ♥♥

 Report Review

Review #24, by EleniaTriple Chocolate Frog: What You Can't Have

8th August 2012:
Hello, dear (:

A wonderful first chapter, but you already knew that I loved it (;

I think you did an excellent job with all your characters! Taylor seems like such an interesting MC and I can't wait to learn more about her! And that date! Ooh, I wonder how that goes! You need to write faster, I'm already impatient d:

And Lucy! I already loved her after the last chapter and now she's my absolute favourite ^^ such a bubbly character!

Btw, I loved all the additions you made! Especially the extended discussion about their looks! That worked really well!

Tay's family life was such a sad part, but it gave depth to her character. Can't wait to hear more about that.

Oh, and I love how you make her Hufflepuff qualities show. She's such a hard worker and doesn't want to use anybody even though it would help her reach her goal easier.

Anyways, can't wait for the next chapter! It's always a pleasure to read your work!

And I'm only happy to help ^^ talk to you soon!


Author's Response: Hey hun!

Taylor really has been interesting to write so far. She's very different than Hannah, to say the least. haha.. The date looks like it will be chapter four! I'm about half way done with three so hopefully I can write faster (or, not have to pick up extra /unnecessary/ hours at work and actually get time to write!) so you can read it!

Lucy has been fun to write. She's such a bubbly balance for Taylor but she really wants nothing but the best for her.

Oh, good! You know, the reason I put off doing descriptions is because I kind of have this pet peeve about big blocks of descriptive text in the middle of the dialogue, so it's good to hear they worked well! And they helped me make the chapter title, so I'm - again - forever grateful for your suggestion because I didn't have to stare stupidly at the screen at three a.m. trying to figure out what in god's name I was going to call this :p

Her family life; each person has a very particular influence for the way she acts so it has been really neat letting her quirks fall into place from that.

Her puffness! She really does not want Lucy to mention /anything/ to Harry about their friendship, she really wants to be fair and win the Auror spot on skill alone.

Thank you, again, Hanna for everything! I really do appreciate your help! Tomorrow's a writing day so *crosses fingers* I'm hoping to get a lot further into chapter three!


 Report Review

Review #25, by EleniaCanis Major: 'The Incident'

8th August 2012:
Hello, dear ^^

Brilliant chapter once again! This was the umpteenth time I read it and I still loved it just as much as I did when I first read it.

Especially Sirius ♥ I'm always happy when you give me Sirius moments! Which is why you should write faster so I can get more of them!

And Henry ♥ my lovely Henry! I need more of him too! And preferably now (x

You always say that you're just fangirling over my story and not being very helpful. But I don't know how you think my fangirl-ism is any different from that, since this can't possibly assist you in any way d:

So, so, so much love for your story!


Author's Response: Rawr. ^_^

Ah, I love you. You're so brilliant, and without you, I would probably still be back at chapter three. You give me the kick that I need to keep on track. ^_^

There'll be more Sirius moments in the next chapter, as you know, and then chapter ten is pretty much all Sirius. Hooray!

Henry, my baby. He'll be in the next chapter, but only makes a brief appearance in the few after that, and you know why and where that goes. :/

Hahaha, as I said before, you keep me writing, so your fan-girling is actually incredibly helpful. ^_^

I'll write faster if you write more Gwames! I'm having withdrawals since the extract you sent me the other day. D: They are too perfect.

Love, love, love,
- Adele ^_^

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>