Reading Reviews From Member: banshee
  
597 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bansheeThrough the Black: Nothing Is Immune

21st December 2014:
Yes, new chapter! :D

The cute little touches are SO perfectly wrapped into the dialogue. Julianne is - so far - wonderful at acting casual. I was worried for a bit that Sirius would be the one that would be 'too casual' but I love sort of seeing that myth overturned.

Hehe, for some reason, I have a feeling Remus' mother isn't really sick...

I love that their bickery dynamic doesn't change now that they're in their relationship. Julianne still manages to hold her own in conversations with Sirius, and even though she has those totally understandable blushing, cute moments, she still is level headed through the 'new relationship glow'. I loved Sirius' excuse for walking with her :D

The part where Julianne talks about Scott, and what is going to happen was so meaningful. It's exactly true, though, what'll happen to Scott as the time goes on. I really love when you throw those little 'war' details in to the story, and remind us that there really are a lot of other things going on besides romances and Quidditch.

I like that you've done a little bit more explaining about Lily and Julianne here :) It sort of feels like Julianne knows that Lily may have some feelings brewing for James, and that it all goes back to Julianne and James' friendship, and them being fiercely defensive of each other.

God, after the Scott moment, it's got to be absolutely terrifying for any one of the students to get letters like that. I'm still wondering what's up with the cousins, though, considering she said she hasn't seen them in forever.

Yay empty classroom kisses! hehe.

Aw, James' birthday! Is it going to be in the next chapter?? Too cute. I wonder if James will find out on his birthday... ohh jeez I can't wait to read it! Julianne and Sirius are too adorable.

Wonderful chapter, Claire! I can't wait to read more! Have a good holiday, too!

Julie

Author's Response: Hey, Julie! Glad you liked it!

Julianne's ability to hide her emotions fairly easily is actually a big part of her character, even if she slips up more than a few times haha. And she spent three solid years with a huge crush on him and managed to keep it from almost everyone, so I figured she'd have a bit of practice. And with the way that JK writes Sirius, I'd always figured that if he had ever fallen for someone, he must have fallen for them hard because that's just his personality.

The part about Scott was actually a last minute addition, but it fit in so well with what was going on in the world at the time and offered a perfect spot for some more development for Julianne and maybe even some foreshadowing? :P

One thing that has gotten more and more important as I've been writing is emphasizing the fact that Julianne is not mean. She can be rude, blunt, and almost offensively sarcastic, but she's never mean. And I think that really plays a part with Lily and her. Obviously she's going to be on James's side, but she also is not going to push Lily to do something she knows isn't right. Plus, I hate when Lily is magically in love with James seventh year after hating him for so long, so she had to start developing feelings for him at some point.

After looking back, the cousin thing was extremely vague and I'm not sure how well it worked for the plot point I was getting at haha. But there was a little part that did foreshadow something...

And I didn't put James' birthday into the story because I couldn't figure out how it really furthered the plot besides Julirius fluff :/ Not that that would be bad exactly, but I just couldn't figure it out.

Next chapter is already in the queue! And happy holidays to you too!


 Report Review

Review #2, by MoonyxlunaFiery-Haired Queen (Inseparable): Fiery-Haired Queen (Inseparable)

18th December 2014:
Happy Hot seat day, Jayde!

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.. Annabel Lee is my FAVORITE Edgar Allan Poe poem (I'm a sucker for the romance. sigh). I'm so excited for this!

Taking that poem and making it into a Snily is SUCH a good idea. It translates so well to the poem with the idea of them being young and in love, and sort of being blinded by that 'love'.

I have sort of a love/loathe for Snily as a ship, so I love that Severus blames fate here for taking Lily away from him and sending her to James' arms, versus understanding the fact that it was his own actions.

I really like how you create that separate world for the two, and how Severus can't really seem to look past that and into the big picture.

In his dying moments, Snape creates peace for himself and I think it was really beautifully written. Whether or not their 'kingdom' has been destroyed or not, it's sort of tragically lovely that he can create that for himself in the end.

This was lovely, Jayde!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #3, by MoonyxlunaNeville, Wait!: Mumbling Mimbulus Mibletonia's

17th December 2014:
Dee! I am late for your hot seat day but I am here now! (stupid work)

I have to admit that the banner drew me to this one. It's so pretty! So yay for that doing its job :p

I love reading Neville as a teacher, and this was definitely no exception. I love the internal voice you give him here, how he just knows exactly what's going to happen with his students the second they get to the classroom, and how that happens exactly. It made me laugh!

He hope they would pay close attention today - I think you meant 'hoped' if you edit :)

Ah, I feel like the Mimbulus Mimbletonia lesson would bring such a sense of nostalgia to Neville. And it definitely helps that his student then immediately proceeded to bring up Harry Potter! lol. I really liked that Neville didn't seem too embarrassed here, that you've sort of written him grown up from his childhood insecurities.

I thought it was SO cute that Neville could see himself and Hannah in the two students of his. I'm smiling like a loon right now :D And that it motivated him to take the extra step forward and actually GO to The Leaky Cauldron to visit her!

Their conversation was so sweet. I love how nervous you wrote Neville, and Hannah seemed to be fantastic at holding her own in conversation; perhaps because she was in her comfort zone at The Leaky Cauldron? Either way, very cute! And it was neat to see how his fear bubbled up a little bit and caused him to run away rashly, before Hannah had to stop him.

This was SO CUTE. I just may have to find the sequel! Lovely work, Dee!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #4, by MoonyxlunaBound by Love: Things Least Expected

16th December 2014:
Hey Karen! Happy Hot seat day!

I love the imagery you create with your first few sentences. Just the idea of the plants as curtians made me smile a lot!

His little thoughts about his wife and their readyness to have kids was really sweet. I'm going to cross my fingers for Hannah Abbot that their kids are in Hufflepuff! lol

This is kind of just me being nit-picky, but I noticed in the first sentence it said how Professor Sprout left the place neat and tidy, and then when Neville sits down he's staring at a bunch of clutter not knowing really where to start. They sort of negate each other, just in case you edit! :)

Anyway!

That was SO SWEET of Neville's grandmother to hold on to the book after all that time. Gosh this is just so adorable so far! I love the little mention of the gum wrappers, too, from the book. I just read one of those Harry Potter conspiricy theory articles where it said Neville's mom was communicating to him through the wrappers. Anyway! I love seeing little details like that in people's stories; it makes it that much more real.

His mother's letter was so bittersweet, especially when he turned the page to see the gum wrappers. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for Neville to finally have something from his parents for so long of having nothing.

This was really lovely, especially when I got to the bottom and realized it was your first story! So yay and congratulations for that!! It's making me smile for sure!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #5, by MoonyxlunaLying Josephine: Breakable Girls and Boys

15th December 2014:
Hey Tanya! Happy hot seat day!

I have to start out by saying how sad I am that I haven't read this sooner! I really have enjoyed reading up to here so far. Fred and Josephine's developing friendship in the previous chapters has been so fun to read. I love how their conversations are seemingly so one-sided, but at the same time they retain this balance in their friendship where Fred can basically argue himself in circles with Josephine's facial expressions. It gives her such a neat characterization, because where she's really quiet, she has such a prominent voice through the chapters I've read so far, that even when she's not speaking she's still being brilliantly characterized.

Another thing I have particularly loved have been a lot of your one-liners in this story so far. There have been a few times where the truth in some of your sentences has been very awe-inspiring, and they stay with you as you keep reading.

The formatting of each of the chapters has been really neat, how you start each one of them off with a little happy part from the past, where we see the two happy and bonding, and then the second half is the 'present day' of the story where we see Josephine out on her own and trying to cope with things. I am so curious on how things are going to play out in the upcoming chapters!

Anyway! On to this chapter!

Their friendship is absolutley fantastic. I love how Fred can read her expressions so well, and all of the snark she manages to give him through her eyebrows is fabulous. That gift was so adorable! I feel like you captured a side of Fred that authors rarely do, just through the gift; the large part of his personality is the laughter, but that's not the only part of him, and it was sweet to see some of those emotions poking through in that part.

That, and the 'poke poke poke' was hilarious.

I am SO looking forward to some interactions - in the 'past' part of the story, or the 'present' - between Josephine and George. That one little moment during her interview was NOT enough!

The one sentence George says over the microphone, I think the word 'weary' just perfectly describes how he has to be feeling. That day itself has got to be so overwhelming, emotions wise, to George, and to have it be that busy probably doesn't help.

Yay, she's a Hufflepuff!

Well, just rip my heart out with the Christmas gift against the wall.

That whole scene was so emotional, and I feel like it set the dynamic between the two of them into motion. It was so well written and definitely left me needing more! I've become very attached to this in a short amount of time, and I can't wait to read more of it!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #6, by MoonyxlunaA Tale of Star-Crossed Lovers: In Which the Rest of the Story Is Revealed

14th December 2014:
This was wonderful.. I need to go watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail again now.. lol!

Ron's whole narrative voice was so entertaining. I love the random Muggle things he keeps in his pocket, and that you still included some of the characterizations that he gets in Dramione stories.

And the Mongolian yurt man returns! hahaha.

This was SO entertaining. I really want a whole story about Mad-Eye Moody having a cooking show.

Fantastic!

Julie

Author's Response: Omg wow all these reviews from you today, you spoil me! Thank you!!!

So glad you enjoyed Ron's narrative voice and the random Muggle things. I always see characters with Muggle mobile phones in fics and it confuses me, haha.

Genghis Khan the yurt man saves the day! Or at least saves Ron from getting lost in his own house.

Ahaha, funny you should ask about the cooking show story, because it exists! XD It's called Death Eater's Kitchen, the only story on my AP with a worse banner than this one :p

Thanks so much for your review!


 Report Review

Review #7, by MoonyxlunaA Tale of Star-Crossed Lovers: In Which Draco Malfoy Becomes A Pirate

14th December 2014:
I had to go for this one :p the banner drew me in with all of it's parodic forces.

Draco living as a muggle! There's a sight. And two paragraphs in and Draco owns a parrot.

The level of sarcastic author intertwined in the prose of this story is brilliant, and makes this. I love the absolute destruction of the fourth wall. And the literal sparks ruining Draco's toaster. I definitely laughed out loud at the line from Dirty Dancing.

And the Mongolian wizard. (admittedly I had to Google what a 'yurt' was, but when I got the mental image it was hilarious)

I don't read Dramione too often, but I do love Dramione parodies, and this one was no exception. I love how you put all of the little jabs in with this insane tale, with the sudden love and the sparks. And naming the actual ship in the story as 'Dramione'.

This was fantastic; ridiculously fantastic.

moving on!

Julie

Author's Response: My talent in MS Paint rivals that of Van Gogh. :P

bahaha I'm so glad you enjoyed the idea of Draco as a muggle with a parrot! The argument could be made that Lyra owns Draco, but he seems to think otherwise.

Thank you! I'm really happy to hear that you liked the absurd narration and pop culture references and all the patently unrealistic things that happened.

Yurts are the coolest! :D

I love Dramione parodies. ahaha, I'm so glad you enjoyed this, thank you so much for reading and I hope it didn't melt away your brain with its utter silliness :p

Thanks for your review!


 Report Review

Review #8, by MoonyxlunaIcarus: Inferno

14th December 2014:
Hey Kristin! Happy Hufflepuff hot seat day! :)

SWELL. Lily.. swell. That opening scene was hilarious. Lily was so pleasantly awkward there! (and yay representation :D - it's so minor, but I love seeing it.)

I'm just sitting here as I read her checking for her wand just trying to imagine all of the possibilities for a world without Voldemort.. I can't even think! Would Lily even exist?? *must read on*

AW Lance still lives there! I really liked that touch. And I kind of figured he wouldn't recognize her, but it's still bittersweet to read.

Oh god it's everything I didn't think of. Cedric! I'm so excited (if you can't tell) for all of the little things that are going to show up in this story. The whole interaction between the two was hilarious, and soo awkward. And the part where she asks But you've heard of me? - where she has to --attempts to -- use her parent's name was entertaining.

So I decide that maybe it's time to find Lily and James the first - I dunno if this was intentional or not, but did you mean Albus and James here? or is she looking for herself? Or her grandparents? (Really though, I blame my confusion on Harry naming his children.)

I love Lance's curiosity, and how it seems to be the link between him sending her away and helping her. And Myrtle as the Minister of Magic! Of course, I jumped a little bit from SPACESHIPS being a thing, but I love all of the tiny little touches you're putting in.

I like the moment when she's sort of realizing just how different everything is. I get the impression that she didn't realize just how intertwined her direct life was with Voldemort, and that it's all sort of coming out for her now.

I don't want to wait for more! I do hope you have more in the works for this; it's been so entertaining! I can't wait to see what happens if/when she meets Harry.. and just everything! The possibilities are seemingly endless. Lovely work!

Julie

Author's Response: Ahaha, I think it'd be hard to NOT be awkward when something like that happens. And yay for representation! :)

So many possibilities yeah. Planning this story out did a number on my brain! Ah, I love that you are considering all the possible repercussions of no Voldemort. :D

Aw, yeah it was kind of sad to write Lance not knowing her. But as she is realising, things are about to get pretty different. Other than the fact that Lance doesn't seem to know her, at least he is pretty constant...

Cedric is alive! And Colin! One of the best things about writing this story is I can bring anyone I want to back to life XD And I know hahaha, after all she does to try escaping her famous name, now she has to use it!

I did mean Lily and James (her grandparents). But yes I completely understand why that's confusing. UGH HARRY. WHY

Ha, I like what you pointed out about Lance's curiosity - that may indeed have been a large part of the reason why he helped her. I thought the idea of Myrtle as the Minister of Magic was just so outlandish that it needed to happen. After all, anything is possible! :p So glad you're excited about spaceships! They will indeed make a return.

I do have more in the works! Haha, I was working on this for NaNo which sucked out all my enthusiasm for it, but now that I've sufficiently ignored the story for a month now, I'm getting back into it. Hopefully won't be too long of a wait!

I'm thrilled that you are liking this story! Thanks so much for another wonderful review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #9, by MoonyxlunaFour: Four

13th December 2014:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat :D

I'm not a Game of Thrones fan - yet - but I do own the books :p they have been on my 'to read' list for quite some time now.

I've always thought that Blaise would have an interesting childhood to read about, and I love the hints of that in the beginning of the story. Especially the hat tip to the background we have about his mother and all of her husbands.

Ah, the part with the books! I love the connection you use to establish the ship, how Geoff used to tell Blaise bedtime stories, and now he finds solitude in the books at the Hogwarts library.

Really little detail that I loved, was that you mentioned Hermione's bushyhair, and made that something that interested him, versus just having him call it 'wavy' or 'curly' - it gave it a realistic point of view.

It's really neat that even through the separation of purebloods that's going on while Blaise is at school, that he still loves Hogwarts. I always picture the school as such a safe haven for ALL of the students, and I don't think Blaise would be any different.

I knew the difference between good and evil, and I knew what side I was on.
But I also knew what side I was rooting for.
- I LOVED this line. It was perfect.

The promise that the conclusion of this story sets up is so lovely. I really got a wonderful sense for this ship, even though they never actually spoke through the story. There's such a good sense of something building for Blaise.

This was so lovely, Leigh! I rarely read Hermione/Blaise, but I really loved this!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #10, by MoonyxlunaSweet Talk: Welcome to Honeydukes

13th December 2014:
Hufflepuff hot seat!

I LOVE stories with FredII as a main character. I think a lot of people only use him as a supporting cast member, so right off the bat I love that it looks like he's going to be featured here.

The imagery you use right away describing the happy feeling you get from a candy shop is really beautifully written. It's true! I don't know how you could be sad in a candy shop! Unless you're a crying child not getting what they want :p

I really love the idea that she doesn't want to follow in her family's footsteps with the shop. To me, at least, it seems like it'd be an awesome life to own a candy store, but to someone that's already had their life decided for them, maybe not so much. Her friends are so sweet, though, planning a trip for her to see the world!

Yay she's in Hufflepuff :D

I really enjoyed the level of familiarity she had with Ron, having worked in close proximity to him for probably most of her life. It was neat to see a next-gen-adjacent kid that isn't super star struck with one of the golden trio members.

haha! I would totally judge all of the people on their candy choices, too. And I thought the dynamic you've written between Sweets and her mother was really neat. It seems like her mother has her head a bit in the clouds, and it gives Sweets the more 'down-to-earth' characterization. As well as with her father; how it seems like he just makes the candies and Sweets organizes everything.

Vienna was really nicely characterized, too. She's such a good friend, planning their epic vacation when she sort of knows what Sweets is going to be stuck with for the rest of her life.

I'm really looking forward to reading more of this; this was such a good introduction to this story. Keep up the lovely work, Leigh!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #11, by MoonyxlunaIcarus: Playing with Fire

12th December 2014:
I had to come back for more :P (Okay, let's be honest. I wrote like half of this out as I was reading the same day, but excuses... heh. I'm here!)

I was okay when Lily was looking. I was thinking "okay, she probably shouldn't be doing that, but it's just showing pictures, right? I mean.. Loki could just pop out at any second, but she's just looking.

and then Lily STICKS HER HEAD IN IT.

I think her magical background helps her not immediately give things away when she is in the new dimension. She's used to out of the ordinary things happening, so she sort of seems to immediately accept it, which helps keep her the only one in the loop about what's going to be going on.

There are no pictures of Marta in the other universe, though :/

Just casually hopping dimensions on her kitchen floor :D

She's too curious for her own good! I know Lance didn't exactly give her warnings in his speech, but that doesn't mean she should be messing with things like that! haha. Red hair does NOT match a lot of things! (I had to stay away from that color because none of my clothes matched anymore :p ) But it's sort of bittersweet, how she definitely could.. and probably will.. see what could happen without Voldemort.

As the summary of the story suggests :p moving on!

So far, this is exactly what happened last time... - oh jeez, she's jinxed it now.

I really loved the descriptions of the actual 'universe traveling' - I really felt like I could visualize everything that was happening to Lily. You create such a good narrative voice for her that makes this enjoyable to read and makes Lily very relateable.

Can't wait to see what happens next! Lovely work, Kristin!

Julie

Author's Response: Julie!! Hi again :D

Hahaha... looking was fine, but Lily does take after her Dad, in that she sometimes doesn't know when to mind her own business! :p

She is a pretty good liar, and maybe that helped her keep it together pretty well haha. At least not too many things were different, which probably made it easier.

Oh you know. What's a little dimension hopping every now and then. :P

That's very true - Lance didn't give her warnings, because he didn't realize the questions weren't hypothetical. I tell you, if Lily had listened to all the reviews on this story, she never would have gotten into such a mess! :p

I'm so glad you like Lily's narrative voice and the descriptions of the universe travelling! I was worried the universe travelling would make no sense, so this is very reassuring haha :D

Thanks soo much for your review!!


 Report Review

Review #12, by MoonyxlunaTechno Freedom!: Techno Freedom!

12th December 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review!

I've recently come with a bit of a love for Hugo Weasley stories, so I was excited when you requested this!

Right off the bat, a little bit of a punctuation/formatting cc. I don't even know how it happened, but a lot of your quotation marks are at the bottom of the word? It's kind of distracting flow wise, because the reader's eyes are so trained to look for quotation marks, that I didn't really catch where the dialogue started a few times. Also, a few of your commas are outside the quotation marks, when they should be inside.

Anyway! hah! Those Weasley kids and their chess. I love the idea that Ron would have taught them to be just as intense about it. I am the older sibling in my family, and would definitely not have let my younger sibling take back a move if I was going to win.

But then he FLIPS THE TABLE. hah.

Since you mentioned word choice: Don't talk like this to your parents! - don't talk like 'that'.

I think you have a very entertaining start to this. More or less, we have Hugo throwing a temper tantrum; he believes he is in the right, where we can obviously see that he might be over reacting a little. It's very realistic to a teenager, though, to listen to music to sort of 'block it all out.'

I'm kind of concerned about his swearing. It's different for every family, I suppose, but I know if I talked like that my parents wouldn't have been MAD. And the drug usage! It seems like it's not the first time that Hermione has told him. I almost think her reaction would be a little more severe than "Do you realize this is illegal?" - I think that's something that's sort of pre-established. I don't really get what on earth he was thinking. I mean.. he's going to blast music, which draws attention, and then do drugs when he's - seemingly obviously, to me, - going to get busted for it. BUT, the story is young, so I am moving on!

height was physical evidence that he was a grown-up - haha! This was SUCH a typical teenager thing to think.

At part two, we immediately start to see Hugo feeling the reprocautions from his actions. He can't afford food, and can't use magic to steal it since he's underage. I like that you've included that! I mean, we all had temper tantrums when we were kids and ran away. His seem a little more drawn out, so I'm interested to see what happens when he really can't survive.

I was definitely shocked that Hugo snapped his wand after the run in with the please-men (I have giggled every time that phrase came up)

Scorpius! lol.. I find it a bit funny that Hugo runs away to prove he's a grown up, and immediately has to rely on someone else for shelter.

Since I'm at about the half way point now, I'll address your mention of flow though the story. Besides the punctuation comment from above, I haven't really had any problems with the story line flow; it's entertaining in a different kind of way, reading a 'running away, typical teenager' story.

The whole idea about his view of his graffiti 'incident' versus it actually being vandalism is kind of symbolic for the rest of the story, eh? Not to sound like too much of an old hag, but how artists view their graffiti as art, whereas the police/other people view it as acting out/vandalism. Entertaining idea!

You can definitely tell, getting into the unplottable wand place, that Hugo is having some uneasy feelings that he should be listening to.

That makes sixty Galleons - word choice: Maybe say, "That'll be sixty Galleons." or cost, or something along those lines.

And, the plot thickens! He definitely should have listened to that uneasy feeling! I mean, he had to expect something was up, but I suppose in the Maslow's Hierarchy, he had a roof over his head and that was enough.

What a crazy turn of events, living with death eaters! Hugo! I don't know whether to hug him or scold him. (I suspect Hermione will feel the same.)

I really liked the fact that he couldn't make a Patronus until he imagined Rose being at his show too. I thought it was sweet!

And at the end. I thought it was a tad bit rushed? I mean don't get me wrong, 9k is an impressive feat for your first story, but I'd have liked to see a little bit more of the falling action. In following basic dramatic structure of a story, we have the climax with Hugo's father coming to save him and the half of a killing curse. It would have been nice to see his father maybe stay for the show? I mean, his son almost got killed and he rushes off. All suggestions, but it could have created a nice little balance of feelings that his dad accepted his music and Hugo accepted whatever punishment he received for running away. Plus the reunion with his mother, and sister.

Like I said though, definitely just suggestions! This was really entertaining; I really enjoyed the flow and the story that you told. Lovely work!

Julie

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review!

You gave very useful criticism, I will definitely correct the mistakes with the next edit - really, thanks for pointing out the formatting-thing...I never even thought about this, but my native language is German where the quotation marks at the beginning of sentences are at the bottom! (Just as it's common to end "direct speech like this", ... which is why I keep mixing it up! :[ )

About Hugo's behaviour: While he's definitely irresponsible, it's my experience that teenagers do a lot of the stuff he does - and turn out to be very responsible adults once they grow up a bit (although Hugo is really very thoughtless in his actions)

I guess how parents deal with these adolescent tandrums differs - although I wouldn't say that Hermione's reaction is unrealistic. I somehow feel that the exasperation where nothing you do as a parent shows any effect is very understandable and occurs all too often.

Haha, yes it's definitely a bit weird that Hugo leaves his home with feeling all serious, but then he is completely dependend on others. After all he's quite naive..

I will definitely rethink the last scene, although I'm not quite sure if I can write it well (I also kind of liked the ending as some sort of beginning). In my head, Ron definitely came back to watch his show, so I should probably mention it as well.

Thanks again for your effort and time!

Shini


 Report Review

Review #13, by MoonyxlunaThrough the Black: Confrontations

11th December 2014:
I know I've probably said this a few times already, but I love the focus you put on classwork. It's such a huge part of Hogwarts and the HP series that it's nice to see here.

they did offer a welcome distraction to the monotony of reviewing. - this sentence was structured so wonderfully I just had to compliment you on it.

I'm glad that Julianne is genuinely unamused by their pranks, even if her crush on Sirius is starting to poke it's way back through. Because I agree with her! People are all studying, and just want to eat and they are preventing it. And I love Remus' eye roll at them. :p

"Where are they?" Snape growled - since this is the first time he's had a speaking roll in this story, it might be a little more of an effective introduction if you say "...they?" Severus Snape growled. Just a suggestion :)

Ah, I bet I can guess how the boys saw her and she didn't see them :p Look at James and Sirius, being all defensive. And then trying not to leave, and jinxing Snape the next day :p

THE SETUP♥ for THE moment, with the growing popularity of that jinx. I love it. omg, what lovely irony that you create, that it's just going to get used right back at Snape.

That build up of a cocky attitude, followed by Julianne's realization concerning the 'Mistletoe Incident' was perfect. I can just completely picture her face just falling through her snark.

IT'S JUST ALL PERFECT. The feelings and everything. I can't formulate sentences but I love it and it is wonderful.

Now it's going to be all awkward and eventually it'll be too much, so we agree to try a relationship and then it doesn't work so then we can't even be around each other--oh, teen angst. hahaha.

The second he threw 'secret relationship' onto the table, I wanted James to find out. Like so badly. I just love that through the whole (adorable) confession that they still retain that dynamic balance between them, where they're constantly one-upping each other and generally teasing/flirting.

And SHE kisses him! It's wonderful. I'm so happy right now.

I don't want to wait for a new chapter now! *cries*

This is fantastic. Keep up the amazing work!

Julie

Author's Response: Yes, Julianne may have a crush on Sirius, but nothing gets in the way of her getting her food. And Remus is just 100% done with them haha.

Yes, the Invisibility Cloak and what a convenient excuse her concussion is. James and Sirius being completely overprotective over Julianne makes me so happy and I can just imagine the first time someone tries something similar to her in like first or second year and the two boys tearing into them. And she really does appreciate it deep, deep, deep down.

I was so worried about that whole conversation between the two of them seemed off and out of character, so I'm so glad that it didn't come off that way. I just couldn't wait any longer to get them together, even if it isn't a 'real' relationship. But yes, I have plans for how James finds out, because he has to eventually.

I am going to upload the new chapter as soon as I finish this response, so hopefully it is up in the next few days! Can't wait for you to come back and review again!


 Report Review

Review #14, by MoonyxlunaThrough the Black: Hogsmeade

11th December 2014:
I definitely just had to come back for more :)

Ah, it's good to see that the Marauders are able to bring Sirius out of what happened and that they're back to their pranking ways! And it's sweet, how Julianne seems to care about him even at that subconscious level that it effects her mood.

Yay they're talking!

I kind of knew it wasn't going to be all happy joy yay they're a couple, but it was still pretty adorable. Sirius seems to be back to himself, which is good, and Julianne was awkward and adorable with her accidental 'feelings' mention. Sirius seemed to know where she was going, but was nice enough to not say anything, which was sweet of him. A little. haha.

The whole scene with Roy asking her to Hogsmeade was hilarious. She was just COMPLETELY caught off guard by the Sirius comment and it was so genuine. I can't believe her friends wouldn't tEll HER. But I suppose they knew she was trying to get over him and it would just get her hopes all back up.

I do love Julianne and James' friendship, but I really love Kassie and Ivory too. You definitely write really lovely friendships through this whole thing, and they give so much to the story. And I love that you didn't just automatically put the girls on dates for Valentine's day. It's realistic.

NO GO AWAY JAMES I WANNA KNOW WHO IVORY LIKES!

rude.

Oh Peter. Ill-timed jokes that just fall FLAT. hahaha.

But I am so happy that Sirius stopped to reassure Julianne. I am SO HERE for this ship :D

Oh Ivory, sweetie, I feel your pain. I am right there with you. And Julianne and Kassie WOULD just figure it out and then immediately try to push them closer.

Aw, JAmes. AND YAY for Julianne and Sirius betting against him :p Their flirting and the scooting closer is so subtle and just PERFECT. (I am fangirling hardcore right now, I hope you can tell.)

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS. and I'm not apologizing for the excessive capital letters in this review. This is fab.

Julie

Author's Response: I just want you to know that these just made my day. Seriously, thank you so much for doing this!

Yes, Sirius is back to normal :) I just couldn't keep him in a funk for too long, I don't think Julianne could take it haha.

I get the feeling that if it had been anyone other than Julianne having a conversation like that with Sirius, he would not have let that comment go so easily haha. She definitely threw him off with her "it didn't mean anything" comment and at least I thought it fit with how she has consistently been able to throw him off like that.

I absolutely LOVED writing Roy asking her out, mainly because of Nettie and Ivory's reactions haha. That whole exchange just took on a life of its own and I just love it so much!

Dates are overrated haha :P

Julianne and Kassie are just the best friends ever haha. And YES JULIRIUS (the ship name my friend has given them). I know I'm the one who wrote this, but I just love them so so much.

I'm so glad you are so into the story. And never apologize for the caps, it makes me so happy!


 Report Review

Review #15, by MoonyxlunaThe Rejects: ii.

11th December 2014:
Hehe, two chapters in a row and Maddie is introduced hiding in the dorms :p But I definitely didn't think of that! Instead of just keeping things between Gryffindors, she's now got the whole school involved in this :p

I really love Dominique and Maddie. They're such adorable best friends and they have that awesome push and pull a balanced friendship should have.

Ha, I love Hazel. Just take those awful stereotypes people give her and ROCK THEM SWEETHEART♥ - and yay for bisexual characters :D

Terrence was adorable, too. I really like how Maddie is snarky and sarcastic, but so far she doesn't have bad things to say about these two outsider people. She seems like she's generally a good person.

Lol, Maddie just volunteers herself for the Seeker position :p

The tryouts were hilarious. I was definitely cheering for all of the same people Maddie was cheering for, and am super excited to see what happens now that she has - most - of her team put together.

This was adorable, and super funny. I am excited for more!

Julie

Author's Response: Hello again, Julie!

Haha, I never even noticed that! I read what you said and went back over the first two chapters and realised, she hides away in the common room in both chapters! I didn't even mean to do that intentionally.

Hazel is like my spirit-animal, I swear. She's so sassy, I just love her to pieces and she's such an interesting character to write as well. Mainly because she isn't afraid to accept and flaunt her stereotypes as if it doesn't bother her!

The try-outs were so much fun to write! Especially when Scorp stormed off, haha! :)

Next chapter should be out soon!

~Aimee xxx

P.S. super glad you're enjoying it!


 Report Review

Review #16, by MoonyxlunaThe Rejects: i.

10th December 2014:
Hufflepuff hot seat!! :D

I love this right from the introduction :D First off, Madeleine is such a pretty name for an OC. And I love the idea! I feel like in a little bit of a way sports spectators are like that (certainly the customers at my work...) where they always think they can do things better, even though it takes training and skill, and I love that you've worked that into this story.

Maddie and Dominique's friendship so far is really adorable. I like Dominique here so far, and Maddie as well. It feels like I know them already despite only reading half of the chapter.

Moving on!

Ah, I love the referee/Quidditch teacher! I got a good laugh out of him laughing in Maddie's face before realizing she was serious. Serves her right, she didn't even know he existed!! haha.

finally the third year who had been hurriedly trying to finish his homework gave up with a cry of exhaustion and slumped up the boy's stairs -- I feel so bad but I am laughing hysterically at this right now.

I think it's kind of hilarious that it's that easy to break into the Ravenclaw common room :p

This was a really lovely introduction. I really want to read more of this story, and am definitely adding it to my favorites and will be stalking it for updates. But for now, on to chapter two!

Julie

Author's Response: Hey there Julie! :)

*first off, congrats again for featured story for December! :hugs:*

Thank you so much, I really like the name Madeleine as well. I've always liked the name and thought it would be an appropriate name for my OC :) Exactly! I think I subconsciously got the idea from my Dad whilst he was watching a rugby match on TV and was shouting about how he could do a better job, haha!

I love Dom and Maddie's friendship too, I was worried that it would seem kind of one-sided with Dom being the one who would push Maddie to do things but I guess it's always good to have that kind of friend :) And people haven't pointed out anything wrong with the relationship between the two so I guess it's alright!

Haha, glad that you liked it and I got one more person interested! I'm in the middle of writing the third chapter so hopefully it should be out soon! :)

~Aimee xxx


 Report Review

Review #17, by MoonyxlunaThe Lost Wolf: Go to Sleep

10th December 2014:
Hey I'm here with your requested review!

Sirius' panicking at the beginning of the chapter was very sweet. Because it is seemingly impossible that the girl happens to be Cassandra, but there she is! It almost feels as if it's written from the dog - the Padfoot - side of his, with the 'oh my gods' and how excited he gets. It's a cute touch :D

Ah, the shift of emotions from the doggy love to the changing bandages was really sad! Sirius sees that she grew up way too quickly, and it's really heartbreaking how mechanical she is about the cuts and stitches.

McGonagall's section with Remus! Oh god, what a state he's let himself get into after years of being away! Remus' characterization was a bit haunting, that he's let himself go feral, almost, without the structure of Hogwarts. I really liked McGonagall's characterization here, but the only thing I have a little problem with is a few of her parts of dialogue. For example:

"No, uhm... Well, actually Albus sent me. - I think at this point, she's become a little bit more comfortable with Remus, and wouldn't be unsure in her sentence. It just doesn't really feel like it fits, the unsure tone.

You should capitalize 'Muggle' - more or less, anything that JKR has invented :)

The couple sat in silence for a long time -- I think the word 'pair' would sound a little better here. I also mentioned this previously, but this chapter has that small font here that makes it hard to read.

I took a guess in my head that she was visiting to try to fill the Defense Against the Dark Arts spot at the school, and I was right! I always love these missing moments when they're written into stories.

Ah.. Remus? Please, shave.- hahah! I love it. (You don't need the comma after please, though.)

I noticed a few spelling/punctuation errors here and there, such as missing commas, but I think a read-over would clear those up. I also saw 'Hogwarst' a few times, but your explanation (from a previous review) makes total sense! (I took a year of Italian in high school, and the 'ch' vs 'c' sounds still mixes me up in pronunciation. hehe.)

I loved the progression of the plot here on both sides of the story. Things are getting interesting now! Can't wait to see what happens next!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #18, by MoonyxlunaThrough the Black: The Boy Next Door

10th December 2014:
YES here for more :D

I love the introduction to this chapter. I always love friendship dynamics of stories, and I'm really happy that you've developed James and Julianne's friendship this way. You write them with such a good sense of familiarity in the scene on the bench outside, that it gives the reader a lovely idea of their friendship in the past.

And I'm guessing now, he doesn't know about Sirius? heh.

Ah, I just can relate to her so much at the feeling of Sirius' name bringing up her old feelings since the kiss. That whole scene where she stutters over her words and hurries off was very sweet. It really resonates how a crush just doesn't go away for good. Especially after a super adorable mistletoe kiss :D

OMG the Sirius moving in moment! You made it happen on Christmas! I love it and I am heartbroken how is this happening!? I can't even. It feels like such a turning point in this story.

I suppose there are two sides to every coin, and seeing her dad angered about purebloods was a really neat touch.

I say this in every review, but I love how you write Julianne. I mentioned this previously, but she's very relateable in the way she worries about everyone but herself. I thought the point in the Kitchens was very well written. I (also) mentioned this previously, but she has that Anxiety that takes advantage of her, and you write it SO well. Really.

No Sirius in this chapter, but some big things have happened to him so I completely understand that.

You mentioned plot progression in your request, and I think you already know that I am in love with this story. I love how you work in all of the things about the War, and how slow and sweet you're taking things between Julianne and Sirius. You have converted me into a shipper of them!

Keep up the amazing work :D

Chapter title? How about 'The Boy Next Door' :p haha!

Julie

Author's Response: Oh, my god, yes, that chapter title is perfect!!

James and Julianne's friendship is one of my favorite parts of the whole story. I've seen stories where he is friends with the OC or whoever the non-Marauder/Lily main character is, but I really wanted to show him as that insanely loyal and caring guy that I know he is, but some people tend to ignore until seventh year. Basically, James Potter is one of my favorite characters and I think he was always a genuinely wonderful person, he was just fifteen years old with a crazy crush haha.

And no, he doesn't know about the kiss :P

The whole "freaking out because they said my crush's name oh my god what if they find out" thing is definitely something that I understand well and even someone as (seemingly) composed as Julianne would freak out too haha.

Yeah, I read this one fic where he showed up at Christmas (they never really talked about it, just mentioned it briefly) and because for some reason I used to think he ran away in sixth year, that has been my headcanon ever since.

Her dad's mentality has been something that I knew was going to be a part of the story from day one. It seemed logical, like you sad, that there would be two sides to every coin, so there had to have been some people who hated purebloods that even showed the slightest hint at supporting the Death Eaters, but it was so hard to really work out, because Julianne and her parents are purebloods, which meant it couldn't just be blindly hating purebloods in general.

I'm so glad you can really notice the anxiety that she has about, well, pretty much everything, because that is going to be such a large part of events later. I've met so many people who have this really cocky and almost arrogant attitude, but once you get to know them, they are pretty much a wreck and are just able to cover everything really well and I knew that's what I wanted for Julianne.

Yeah, no Sirius, but it fit with what was happening in the story. But he definitely comes back in the next chapter and stays for quite a long time haha.

I'm glad to hear the plot is working out well! I'm so nervous about that since there's really no physical representation of conflict in the story, it's mostly all mental and relational.

I'm so glad you still love the story! I'll definitely be back again soon, I love seeing your reviews on the chapters!


 Report Review

Review #19, by MoonyxlunaYear Five: Three Times Charmed

10th December 2014:
I THINK I'm on chapter five? YES. okay.

AH I LOVE HER. YOU GO ISOBEL ROCK THOSE EYELINER WINGS AND RED LIPS AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THOSE OTHER GIRLS SAY YOU ARE FABULOUS♥

ahem. I have a lot of feelings about that topic.

AHH I have eyelashes just like Emily and it is miserable. I feel her pain. I totally understand.

I am going to stop rambling about makeup issues now.

I love Isobel's voice in the beginning. I love that she loves her friends and embraces their outsider persona and just doesn't give a (oh, twelve plus ratings) about what the people around her think. And I thought the little suspicion of Emily and Tristian was interesting, coming form Isobel.

hahah.. You've got to be pretty gone to get kicked out of a joke shop. I love the way the humor sort of writes itself here, with Filch, and then Tristan complaining/not complaining about Filch rapidly.

It's all so entertaining and so just.. REAL. Like.. I didn't know how much I wanted this story until I started reading it.

How many times can I say 'I love...' in this review? I really feel like now that I have each of these four fleshed out in my head, that they are some of the greatest really original OC's I've ever read. I want so much more of this.

Ah, Hufflepuff magic for getting coffee! I wish I had that :p

THIS IS WONDERFUL. For real.

Julie

Author's Response: *Squee* Thank you so much! :D

I AM SO GLAD YOU FEEL AS STRONGLY ABOUT THIS MAKEUP STUFF AS I DO!

And yes! The lot of them definitely have an anti-conformity thing going on. And I'm so pleased you liked the humor, and thought it was realistic and all! I really wanted to channel that sort obnoxious teenage behavior, but also recognize how FUN it can be while it's happening.

And just, that you think it's realistic, and think these OCs are good--THANK YOU! Part of it was that I wrote the whole thing out first, then went back and edited a LOT before uploading. So I really got a chance to kind of know them while I wrote, and could go back to tweak things to get their characters right.

I have INFINITE amounts of admiration for people who manage to write such excellent novels while doing it in an episodic way. I would NEVER be able to keep my story straight if I was writing and uploading one chunk at a time. (I like, went back and changed earlier things SO MANY TIMES)

Thank you SO MUCH for this amazing, joy-inspiring review! You are a day-maker!

xoxo
Roisin


 Report Review

Review #20, by MoonyxlunaA Time of Heartache and Healing: Failure

9th December 2014:
Hufflepuff hot seat!! :D

That smiley face is ill-placed, though! this is going to be so sad; I just know it!

The silence in the Weasley house has got to be unnerving to Mrs. Weasley. The image you create with that makes for a lovely introduction to this.

Heartbreaking, reading her feeling responsible for Fred's death. Though I think as a mother that it's a very accurate portrayal of what she must be feeling. Even if there was nothing she could do, she would still feel to blame.

I feel like writing such specifically characterized canon names, like Molly Weasley, in first person, would be really challenging, but I think you did a really good job capturing her voice and distress here.

Ah, this was so heart wrenching. Between the mentions of George and her own mind's thoughts about Arthur's opinions, I am heartbroken!

This was beautifully written. Fantastic work, Erica!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #21, by MoonyxlunaWaiting on You: Waiting on You

9th December 2014:
HUFFLEPUFF HOT SEAT!

I am always in for Scorpius/Albus.

The first paragraph was adorable, and did such a neat job characterizing Albus. I love that you put him into a situation that he can't use his father's name to help him, and how he reacts to that.

And then the fact that both of them can look past their lineage to get closer is super cute :)

This was very sweet in such a short amount of words. Even if Albus is described as impatient, it's sweet of him that he won't go public with their relationship until Scorpius is ready to.

Very cute!

Julie

 Report Review

Review #22, by MoonyxlunaIcarus: Cultivated Arts

7th December 2014:
Dad laughs, then tries to pretend he didn't - I think this just has to describe Harry and Ginny's relationship with each other concerning their kids. So cute.

Lily's family is so adorable. I love that you have James as an author; I don't think I've ever read that and it's neat and original! And Albus learning Chinese. I wonder if his mother is right and it's for a girl, or for different reasons :p Also, it's nice that they still care about Marta so much even though their kind of rough patches in history. It seems like a very 'Harry' type of a thing to do.

So we find out that the cube from the previous chapter is something Marta stole from the Department of Mysteries. I feel surprised and unsurprised all at the same time. I really love her characterization wise! But, I can't believe she doesn't see how much trouble that could get Lance in! I love the tiny flaws like this you give your characters. It gives them such a realistic personality, and makes me love this all the more.

I just want to go home and read my book. - In which Lily is me every time I go out.

Mostly just mine, but she doesn't know that - AH WAIT REALLY!? I had my suspicions, but I'm so happy right now. Aw, I love this all the more now. Thinking back to the previous chapters, Lily seems to do a good job hiding her feelings for Marta. I can't wait to see how that sub-plot develops. Does Iris know!? Don't tell me. I'll have to read on!

Ah, Lily takes what Marta says and fidgets with the cube, and now something's going to happen! She should have known better, but I still can't wait to see what comes of it!

Another lovely chapter. I love how you're developing these characters and this story.

Julie

Author's Response: I think Harry and Ginny would be really cool parents :p

So glad you liked reading about the Potter family! Haha, yeah most next-gen fics I've read that are set after Hogwarts have James as a Quidditch player, but I wanted to do something a little differently! And now I kind of love the idea of him as a really bad writer :P I'm glad you thought that seemed very 'Harry' for Harry to continue looking out for Marta despite the rough patches. :)

Yes indeed... she is something else. It's really so great to hear that you like her characterization, bad decisions and all :p

Hehehe :D Lily does do well hiding her feelings - but it explains why Lily has kind of a blind spot where Marta is concerned and will get into stupid situations with her like using stolen things.

Thank you so much! I'm really thrilled you're enjoying the story and characters - thanks for your reviews!


 Report Review

Review #23, by MoonyxlunaIcarus: Old and New

7th December 2014:
We've only just met Lily here, and I already love her. You give her such realistic and relateable qualities; falling asleep on the sofa and the thought that she /could/ stay in pajamas all day were wonderful.

Marta is so well thought out, too. I love the contrast she provides for Lily, with her interest in being seen by the paparazzi versus Lily's desire to be out of it. They seem like the adorable 'opposites' best friends - Lily makes sure to straighten out the flat before she leaves, (Though I don't know yet how much of that is for Iris' benefit) and she gets to Marta's house and has to throw away the whole bowl. :p

And then we meet Iris! (who's name I still love) There's the characterization differences here, too, with Iris seemingly having her whole life in order (job, engagement, purple vase) whereas Lily is unemployed and (I'm assuming) single. The three of them together are instantly likable, and I love how you've introduced them here.

HAH! I remember that game. And Marta's jabs at Lily about her attractive parents were hilarious. I have to believe there were more than just one or two schoolkid crushes on that couple :p

And the set up at the end! Ah, things are fleshing out now and I am definitely excited to see what happens when you throw in more of the SiFi element. You have this incredible set up of Lily, and all of her friends and life surrounding her; I'm excited to see what happens when that changes on her.

Lovely work so far!

Julie

Author's Response: Ah, thank you!! I'm so glad Lily is likeable and relatable. Hehe, I think the desire to stay in pajamas all day is kind of a universal feeling. :D

I'm so glad you like Marta! She is definitely a huge contrast to Lily in some ways. Lily and Iris are both very neat and picky, which is why they make good flatmates, and why Marta doesn't live with them :p

It really is so wonderful to hear that you like the main characters and their friendship together. Thank you!!

:D I loved that game way back in the day. As for Marta's jabs about Lily's parents... I imagine you're quite right. After all, they're celebrities, and for the students at Hogwarts, well most teenagers go through that phase of having a celebrity crush! :p

Thank you so much, I'm glad the set up is effective! Things are definitely going to be changing soon for Lily muahaha.

Thank you for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #24, by MoonyxlunaIcarus: Prologue

7th December 2014:
Hufflepuff gift tag! You always leave me the nicest reviews so I had to snag you when I saw you posted :p

I always love reading Potter children who are characterized to detest using the Potter surname to their advantage. I think it adds such a realistic characterization to them, that they are embarrassed by their parents just like any other kid. And I got a good chuckle over all of the Potter kids being miserable about their names.

Really little, but I love the name Iris. :)

because women never get leading roles in those films - preach! lol. (No but seriously. Black Widow movie? Where is it!?)

The humor in Lily's internal monologue is so entertaining. I love all of the subtle jabs at her family, and through it you can really tell that she loves them all dearly. I am definitely giggling at Albus' plug collection.

The offset dates in the captain's log versus the actual introduction are definitely thought provoking!

Ah, after your author's note I am definitely excited to continue this! I love AU stuff like this; I always think it's so wonderful to see what authors can do with just a few characters from the HP 'verse. Moving on!

Julie

Author's Response: Aww! ♥ You're too sweet!

Hahaha, yeah, I bet they were unbearable as teenagers, because every teenager is embarrassed by their parents, but they had famous parents. XD But yeah, I just couldn't really see it any other way. Harry was always irritated by his own fame, and I felt like his children would be similar.

I'm glad you like the name :D

I KNOW! WHERE?!

It's so great to hear that you like Lily's internal monologue! Yes, it's definitely affectionate mocking :p

Hehehe. I'm glad the A/N makes you want to continue rather than give up on reading it as I threw canon to the wind! I'm a huge fan of sci-fi and the idea of writing a sci-fi HP fic really opened up the idea of AU to me. :D

Thanks for your review(s)!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #25, by Moonyxluna'Till Death Do Us Part: Chapter 25

6th December 2014:
I am reviewing this out of order a little but can we just talk about THAT HAIR RUFFLE for a second!?♥ Bless my shipper heart, I am going to drown in HOW ADORABLE THAT WAS♥

I also thought the hug between Ron and Hugo was adorable. I love that Scorpius isn't changing him, just loving him for who he is.

Anyway!

Adam and James are hilarious. I love their friendship. And I loved the little joke about Amelia and Lucy 'eloping' - surely they learned something the first time that happened :p haha! And I loved seeing James and Amelia still kissing and adorably in love.

I am having feels over boys and mashed potatoes. *sobs*

WHY DIDN'T FRED BRING HIS GIRLFRIEND!? Ah, I loved the parts between Hugo and Fred, though. They're gonna be BEST FRIENDS forever♥

SUPER cute, the part where James can't figure out how to hand over the babies :D I loved it! I loved this whole thing. I love love this series. You cannot ever be done with it!

♥♥
Can't wait for more!

Julie

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>