Reading Reviews From Member: ohmymerlin
  
795 Reviews Found

Review #51, by ohmymerlinLying Josephine: Eye of the Storm

14th December 2015:
TANYAAA

I meant to review for the Hot Seat but real life has been a bit of a pain lately! I know I haven't reviewed every single chapter but these last two chapters seemed to have less reviews and I thought that was an ABSOLUTE TRAVESTY so I decided to review them ♥

Okay, first of all, I LOVE THE WAY YOU HAVE WRITTEN THIS WHOLE NOVEL. JUST PHENOMENAL. I LOVE THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN FRED AND JOSEPHINE, AND THIS CHAPTER WAS SUCH A HUGE STEP WITH 'COMMUNICATION' BETWEEN GEORGE AND JOSEPHINE.

I put the communication in quotes because Josephine doesn't seem to talk much does she? Also, can I just say that I love how you've made her so quiet, yet so powerful? You've written her phenomenally and I feel like I can really relate to her. The way you write her quietness is so moving, I just adore it. I truly adore it. Just like I adore you ♥

And ugh, George's emotions about how he could have been the one who died were just so painful and raw. I feel so sorry for him, but you've written his frustration at being pitied so well. I can totally see him being frustrated that his family are being like that, and it's not like he hates his family, but I can see him being torn between not wanting any sympathy and wanting to keep talking about him.

But omg... the way you write Fred ♥ It's perfect. I also just love how you've written him not fussed about Josephine's quietness and he accepts it, not bothering too force her to talk. He makes her comfortable and I think that's just so sweet.

And the poo items hAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS THE BEST. I CAN SEE FRED AND GEORGE SITTING IN THIER OFFICES/ROOMS AND GIGGLING ABOUT SELLING LITERAL POO.

I loved this chapter so much and I love this story so much! I'm so excited to see a chapter seven soon (hopefully? ;))

10/10 ofc any other score would not be true to the story

- Kayla :)

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Review #52, by ohmymerlinSea of Love: II

3rd December 2015:
CAAASSIEEE

THIS IS SO SWEET AHHH

I LOVE IT SO MUCH! THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!! Also, does this mean Clementine and Al's story is going to end up after Hogwarts where we FINALLY GET TO SEE ROSE AND SCORPIUS TOGETHER?!

But back to the actual point of the chapter, Scorpius' nervousness was so adorable and I love how much he and Rose care for each other. The way you write romance is so beautiful and Rose and Scorpius are just shining beautiful people that I love so very much.

And omg Draco's lil speech ♥

I loved this chapter so much! I'll hopefully be back soon :D

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: KAYLAAA!
Hooray for weddings! As for Clementine and Al's story... You'll just have to wait and see! (But honestly I haven't decided if I want to end it when they're still in their seventh year, or jump ahead and show them more in the future.)
I liked showing Scorpius before the wedding, since so many romance movies and novels show the bride getting ready. I thought it would be fun to switch it up a little and show the groom!
Aw, I'm so glad that you love the two of them so much.
I really liked writing that moment between Draco and Scorp! I like writing their father/son relationship a lot.
Thank you for the wonderful review Kayla! You're spoiling me with how sweet these are!
Cassie :)


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Review #53, by ohmymerlinKeeping Vigil: Keeping Vigil

3rd December 2015:
Hello fellow Kayla! I still get thrown off guard when I see people saying 'Kayla' and it's not to me. Not many people I know share our name so it's super bizarre!

I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to review your story for Day Three of the Advent Calendar seeing as we sometimes talk on twitter but I've never (ashamedly I admit) have actually read your stories! For some reason I thought I had but apparently not!

Remedying that now!

So like this made me cry. A lot. Like a lot a lot.

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HAVE THEIR HEAVEN IN THEIR COTTAGE BUT WITHOUT BABY HARRY AND BOTH OF THEM SUFFERING SO GREATLY OH MY GOD NO AND EVEN WHEN SIRIUS DIED HE DIDN'T GET TO BE WITH THEM IN THE AFTERLIFE OH MY GOD IT'S SO SAD

*takes a deep breath*

I'm sorry for my outburst but this has made me feel things that I have never felt before. It was so sad! Written so so so so so beautifully but sooo sad!

Lily's heart ache over Harry made MY OWN heart ache. And James' blank angst was just so upsetting. But then how he fell apart at Sirius was even sadder. AND THE FACT THAT HE STILL TRIED TO PROTECT PETTIGREW JAMES NO MY BABY NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT STOP BEING SO BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL

Just ugh ♥ This was a really heartbreaking and heart wrenching piece and you wrote it fabulously. The simple: "But now she misses her baby boy" was just omg... ♥

So, it's safe to say I loved this one-shot! I think you did an amazing job of it and am so glad to have read and reviewed it! You made my heart hurt but it was in a good way so don't worry ;)

10/10 ofc

- your fellow Kayla :D

Author's Response: HI fellow Kayla! :D I know exactly what you mean. I know some Mikaylas, but I think you're actually the first other Kayla I've met!

OMG... I want to apologize for making you cry, but at the same time, this story is definitely supposed to be sad :')

Quick thing - James witnesses Sirius' arrest, not his death. Still haven't quite figured out how to clear that up, but I'm working on it.

Anyways, don't apologize for your "outburst". It's amazing for me when people have strong emotions about/because of my work, and I definitely love hearing about it! :D

Thank you so much for the amazing review :) Sorry for making your heart hurt, though (but also, I'm kind of not ;) )

-also Kayla


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Review #54, by ohmymerlinSea of Love: I

1st December 2015:
Hello again!

This was such a cute introductory chapter! I just love how much Rose cares for Scorpius and how much Scorpius cares about his work. My heart just melted when he was with the kids and reading and opening the presents he received from them.

I just noticed one tiny thing but it's hardly anything:
Roses prefect handwriting.

I think you were meant to say perfect here ;) Happens to everyone!

I really loved this chapter and I can't wait to read more! You're the absolute QUEEN of romance and everything I've ever read of yours never disappoints! YOU'RE SO AMAZING ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!
I'm so glad you liked this! I really liked Rose and Scorpius, and wanted to write them some more, so decided to do a little fluff featuring the two of them! I think their relationship is very sweet, so I'm glad you thought so, too.
Thank you for pointing out that typo! I didn't even notice it!
Oh my gosh, I might be blushing! Thank you! You're the queen of lovely reviews!
Cassie :)


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Review #55, by ohmymerlinStronger: Stronger

1st December 2015:
Hello again!

Aw, this was really sweet! I really love the way you write Scorpius and how caring Draco is for his son! I really loved the father/son relationship you wrote in this. It was really sweet and I think super accurate. I was surprised that he never told Scorpius about his history, especially since he was so heavily involved but it also makes sense not to tell an eleven year old that his father was a Death Eater.

But the way you wrote Draco's heartbreak over him finding out was really emotional! I adored the way you wrote that, you seemed to do it so perfectly!

And omg his poor mum! I feel so bad for them!

And the way Draco was so accepting of Rose was just beautiful &hearts: Of course he'd be shocked but the fact that it was all for Scorpius' happiness was beautiful ♥

Loved loved loved this one-shot! ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi again!
I think the Malfoy family is really fascinating, so I loved getting to explore them some more in this story.
Aside from the fact that Scorpius is so young, I think Draco doesn't tell him about the war because he regrets what he did. He's ashamed of the person he was back then, and doesn't want his son to think differently of him once he knows what Draco did during the war.
Because the Malfoys are so close, it's really hard for Draco to tell Scorp everything, and the fact that Scorpius is so understanding is really comforting for Draco as a father. His son isn't ashamed of him, and still really loves him, and that's really important to Draco.
Astoria had a really hard time during the war, which I wrote about in my one-shot Princess, if you're interested in getting more of her backstory. The scene where Scorp sees his mother waking up from a nightmare was one that I really wanted to get right. Scorpius is seeing something that terrifies him, but I think it says a lot about him that he still wants to go back to his mother and help her, even if it means seeing something so scary again.
Again, the Malfoys really love each other, so in the end Draco just wants his son to be happy.
Thank you for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)


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Review #56, by ohmymerlinOh My Darling: 6

1st December 2015:
Hey, Cassie! I'm a bit delayed here with my review but OMG

THEY TALKED ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!!! AND THEY'RE KIND OF STARTING SOMETHING (albeit slowly but of course they're doing it slowly, it's THEM)

And ooh, what's happened to Clem's parents? HOW DARE SOMEONE AS INNOCENT AND PRECIOUS AS CLEM HAVE SOMETHING SAD ABOUT HER. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.

But I am EXTREMELY curious!

I really love how you write Clem and Lizzie's friendship. I think you write that really beautifully, and the fact that you said that they sometimes act too old for their age was awesome. Teenagers, especially ones nearing adulthood, have an uncanny tendency to try and act older than they are and not savour their youth.

Welp, that made me sound like a grandma.

But the point remains, I liked that you added that lil bit in.

And omg I love Rose so much. She's steadily becoming one of my favourite characters. I love her no nonsense thing she's got going on!

And Scorpius is adorable. I love how fond he is of Ewan already! SUCH A BABE.

Anyway, Cassie. This was another wonderfully adorable story! I think you did so well with it! I absolutely adored it!

10/10 ofc ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!
YAY FEELINGS! I'm really glad you liked that part of the chapter. It took me a really long time to get something that I actually liked, and I changed it about a million times before I actually posted the chapter. But getting a positive response from you is really reassuring!
Chapter 7 is up, and you'll find out what happened to Clem's parents then!
Clem and Lizzie are a lot of fun for me to write. They don't seem like people who would naturally be friends, because they're so different, but they're extremely close and protective of one another. They both act older than they are, so I like the moments where they act like teenagers, too.
I love Rose, too. She's very independent and isn't afraid to speak her mind! I love writing Scorp, too.
Thank you for another lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #57, by ohmymerlinWickerman Wizard: ACT I - Nosferatu

1st December 2015:
Hello, I'm here from my review thread!

You first asked about the summary and: yes. Wow. That's an amazing summary. It really draws the readers in. If you want to appeal to readers, maybe a banner might also help? It shouldn't be a contributing factor but it is. Colours just naturally attract attention. TDA is always a good choice to get your banners from :)

I always struggle to read archaic prose (I had to read Frankenstein like four times to understand it at all, and then another time to actually enjoy it) and this was no different, but I really admired the way you wrote it. It's definitely not the way you write, it's just my brain really struggles to process it.

I'm a bit confused as to who the stranger is and I REALLY want to know. I loved that element of mystery you have underlying the whole thing and omg the way you wrote the priest was phenomenal. I really felt like I was reading something medieval and your descriptions are so phenomenal. It really felt like I was right there in the story with all these characters.

The way you described the dehydration though... omg... amazing. It made me reach for my own water you wrote it that so well.

Also, I love how you've set it up: "Act I" and all that. I LOVE IT. I really love unique fics and yours is so unique. I would definitely read on if there were other chapters and it would take me a while to understand it completely (I'm probably going to re-read the chapter again later on because admittedly I did wake up at 6 am and I've had a long day) but I would definitely read on. It's such an intriguing story and I have just GOT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!

The way you described the magic was also just woah. You make it feel real, and alive.

I don't understand any of the other fandom things so I did feel a bit lost and confused about some of it, but that's just because I haven't read/seen those things.

But this is honestly the most interesting opening chapter I've ever read. You've definitely got the readers hooked! It's so refreshing to see such a different style of writing.

Feel free to request again :)

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hello, and thank you for the review!

I'm relieved to hear that the summary is satisfactory. I've taken your advice and created a rough banner that I hope serves well until I can ask for more professional help, I'm a little nervous about asking.

Mm, well I'm sorry you had trouble with the prose, I feared that might happen.

I don't want to actually name the MC in-story, but the line about eyes 'like evergreen springs' was what I hoped to be a subtle answer, given how many stories feature 'emerald eyes' and the like. This iteration of Harry Potter is definitely not our canon example.

Re: Priest/water; wonderful! :D I've heard one of my readers say that the struggle for water was the true nemesis, would you agree with that perspective?

That's also a relief, I'm very happy you would and plan to read on as this continues!

For the most part the only truly other fandom material is the mention of Anduriel, with the Morrigan I took some of the real world myth and tweaked it some to fit the setting. I'll try to provide more context going forward on the aspects I'm bringing in to minimize confusion.

Thank you again for a great review!


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Review #58, by ohmymerlinRecipe For Detention: It All Started With Puffskein Poo

1st December 2015:
Hello again! I'm here from my review thread, again :P

I really liked this one-shot. I love the relationship between Sirius and Lily. It's one of my favourite things to read, the friendship between them two. I've always thought they'd get along by themselves and I think you've written the relationship super well.

I definitely truly understand the depth of their relationship. You conveyed it super well. I loved how well they got along, and I loved that Sirius was so blunt with her. I think he's an extraordinary blunt man and he's got no time for nonsense when it comes to Snape or if it affects James.

The story flowed really well, I never really felt pulled out of the story at all. The only thing was some of the dialogue. It just felt a bit too forced sometimes, and what I find helps me is saying it out loud because we usually talk very colloquially and not very formal, especially with mates.

I thought you kept them quite well to their canon personalities. I especially loved Lily's mischievous side. You often see in fanfic that Lily wasn't mischievous so to see that cheeky side of her (because Slughorn did say she was cheeky!) and I especially loved how she was so willing to prank Filch, haha! And as I said before I love how blunt Sirius was. I always felt like he was a 'no nonsense' person.

I definitely loved this one-shot, and I think you wrote it super well! I'm so glad I got to read it ♥

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so sorry about the mix up and it's so nice of you to stop by for two reviews!

Sirius Lily friendship is my favorite! I always imagined them to be quite close, especially after we saw the letter she wrote him in DH - there was so much comfort in that letter if you know what I mean.

Yes, I have read many fics where Remus plays the role I have put Sirius in - being Lilys confidant and maki get introspect, but when I saw the challenge I couldn't picture anyone other than Sirius for this! As you said, his bluntness would make him the ideal person to make Lily think.

I'm always worried about dialogues since I'm not a native English speaker. I'll definitely keep your advice in mind when I write the chapters from now. I'll also revisit this chapter and see how I can improve the dialogues

Yes!!! I did keep in mind Slughorn Sai she was cheeky. That totally killed the quasy-Hermione vision of Lily that everyone put her in after the OotP scene. I mean, James wouldnt have loved her if she was a boring goody two shoes!

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it and I appreciate your feedback! Once again, I'm sorry for the mix up with the link!

Love,
~Ysh


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Review #59, by ohmymerlinOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

30th November 2015:
Hello! I'm here from my review thread! Well, I noticed you linked this story and I read it all, reviewed it and I was looking back on your post to see any areas of concern that I hadn't addressed, I realised you linked the wrong story! I don't mind reviewing it though, hopefully you don't mind receiving an extra review ;)

First of all, I love the opening paragraph. I saw it in the NaNo thread and loved it then, and I am so glad that it's from this story. It's one of the strongest openings I've ever read and if this was a published novel you can guarantee that everyone would always be quoting that. It'd be on the Tumblr gifs, people would have fanart of the Marauders with that quote. It's point blank my most favourite thing ever.

I really liked how you set the chapter up, with everyone getting their letters and their parents' reactions. It was definitely an intriguing way to start a story!

The way you described Fleamont was also just perfect. Just brilliant. It was such a vivid image and for a second I had to remember that he was only fictional!

I also really liked how you made Peter's childhood. It makes his behaviour much more understandable in his adulthood. I think you really managed to nail that one down.

However, one thing popped up that sounded a bit odd:
'gladdened when she looked relieved'

That sounded very strange. Maybe change the word 'gladdened' to pleased? Or just glad?

But other than that, I think you did a marvellous job on this chapter! I really enjoyed reading it!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Oh no! I'm so sorry about the mix up in linking :-( I would love any feedback, of course! Thank you for reviewing :D

Awww that's the highest praise I've gotten for my opening passage! To have it being popular over tumblr is always the dream! I'm so glad you feel that way!

Yes Fleamont is my favorite parent as well. I always thought James, if he had lived, would have turned out that way. WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE?? *sniff*

TBH Peters passage wasn't included in the primal version, and then a review swap with Chiara pointed out that I needed to explore him as well. It is point blank the hardest thing I have had to write owing to my complete disgust of him for breaking them up :(

Yes thank you so much for pointing that out, I'll change it right away!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it Kayla! Thank you so much for stopping by!

Love
Ysh


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Review #60, by ohmymerlinTempestuous Conditions: W-Who Am I? (June 1995)

30th November 2015:
Hi Karen!

Sorry for totally forgetting about the exchange! I'm usually on top of it but I've been a bit of a scatterbrain lately!

Anyway, this was so interesting! You really delved into Barty's brain -- something that I think is extremely difficult to do! I really liked the line where you said that Barty was an absolute crazy for rules but he would break them himself for his own personal gain. I think you really got that bit of him spot on.

Because Merlin forbid that Barty was ever found out to do something wrong! That could never happen!

The relationship that you wrote between Barty and his son was also written really well! I think you really managed to get that well done. It was like there wasn't any love in the relationship ever and I really liked that spin on it. For some reason my head canon was that Barty always got along well with his son but after he found out he was involved with Voldemort, he felt utterly betrayed but I REALLY like the way you wrote it.

The mother was also interesting. I found it a bit strange that she still loved Barty after he condemned their son to Azkaban (again, my head canon was that Mrs Crouch was extraordinarily close to her son and the fact that Barty chucked him in Azkaban made her despise him but everyone's got a different opinion) but I did like the way you wrote her. She seems like a woman that Barty would marry, soft and gentle to balance out his harsh anger.

Anyway, Karen, this was an awesome one-shot! I really enjoyed reading it! I'm glad I was paired with you :D

- Kayla :)

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Review #61, by ohmymerlinHaversham Westley's School for Boys: seven.

22nd November 2015:
ABSOLUTE CUTIES

THE BOTH OF THEM

SO CUTE

THE RULEBOOK IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ

and apparently I had this open for a good two hours and I had not pressed 'post' on the review hahahaha sorry about that

Ooh and now I'm actually looking at my review and I didn't even finish it??? Weird brain moment...

Wait I just realised I had this open and then saw that you had updated it and that was why I didn't review hahahaha

ANYWAY, Lorcan and Dave are so wonderfully adorable and I WAS HOPING THAT THEY'D HAVE A HAPPILY EVER AFTER BUT WE KNOW THAT THAT WON'T HAPPEN

I just love the bluntness from both Dave and Lorcan. It's a really refreshing thing to read to see characters literally just say "I like kissing you" rather than all the pish posh nonsense we have to wait for like seven chapters usually

(tbh I'm a sucker for that too so if you do have that 'pish posh nonsense' in your story you can guarantee I will 100% adore it)

10/10 ofc

- Kayla :)

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Review #62, by ohmymerlinHaversham Westley's School for Boys: eight.

22nd November 2015:
ELISABETH

NO

HOW COULD YOU

HOW COULD DAVID'S PARENTS BE SO HOMOPHOBIC BUT HIM SO COOL AND CHILL

AND NOW THEY WANT TO GET RID OF HIM OH NO AND THEY PROBABLY WILL BE ABLE TO BECAUSE HE'S A MUGGLE AND IT'S WILDLY ILLEGAL FOR A MUGGLE TO BE IN A MAGIC SCHOOL

For one foolish second I thought it was going to be a happy story with no terrible complications how could I be so foolish IT'S YOU

But omg I loved this chapter and I will totally not object of you keep updating it twenty seven times a day ja feel

I'm so upset about David's idiotic parents (I'd rather if I could use a different word but the reviews have to be 12+ or some nonsense)

GAH

But you write so amazingly well I'm extremely envious of this talent and am so glad that I'm finally following one of your stories from the beginning I always seem to read them just as you're finishing so I AM NOT MAKING THAT MISTAKE AGAIN

Can't wait to read the next chapter (will it be in the next ten minutes lol)

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #63, by ohmymerlinHaversham Westley's School for Boys: six.

21st November 2015:
HELLO

I was going to review every chapter but YOU HAVE EIGHT OF THEM

but I couldn't not review this chapter because of this phenomenal line:

Staring at him like hes the sun and all you want is eyeball melanoma.

Lysander should be a poet. That is beautiful

I want that on gifs on Tumblr :P

Also the lack of subtlety from both Dave and Lys is amazing. Also I loved how Lysander and Lorcan interacted. It was very well-written!

Anyway, onwards and upwards to the next chapter because you've probably already uploaded the other chapters that are awaiting to be posted :P

10/10 ofc

- Kayla :)

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Review #64, by ohmymerlinThe Dragon of my Heart : The Dragon of my Heart

12th November 2015:
Hey there! I'm here from my review thread! :)

Okay, so I totally cried in this. Frank's emotions and diary entry and Neville is just so sweet ahhh I love him so much ♥

I just noticed a couple of things that I wanted to point out :)

Hes back

You forgot the full stop at the end of this sentence :)

tears pouring down her cheeks as well/ her eyes uncharacteristically bright.

You don't really have slashes in prose. I think if you wanted to write this sentence you'd have to choose which half you wanted and personally I would say to choose 'her eyes uncharacteristically bright' because I just can't picture Augusta Longbottom ever crying. But that's my personal headcanon of her :)

Plus, I don't like the vision of 'tears pouring down' on someone's face. You mentioned it somewhere with Neville and I think maybe you could change that as well. Maybe just 'Neville wiped the tears off his cheeks' or 'Neville struggled to fight the tears' something a bit more subtle. It's just when people say 'tears pouring' it makes me think of cartoons where they literally have rivers flowing down their eyes :P (I'm currently thinking of Pokemon and other animes to be specific) That could just be me though!

Also, you asked about believability. I think maybe this would be a lot better if it was set up after Neville's sixth year because that's when he really changes into this wonderfully brave man. He's always brave but in DH he really becomes more confident and self-assured that he is a true Gryffindor.

The style. I loved it! Maybe you could have made Frank's diary in italics so it's a bit more clear for the readers? Or even just centred? Or there's even the horizontal line break which might be easier on the eyes.

Other than that, I think you've done an amazing job on this story! You've seemed to really get Neville's personality which is quite a difficult thing to achieve! I really admire how you kept him quite close to canon!

Good luck with the challenge :)

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

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Review #65, by ohmymerlinThe Next Great Adventure: Happenings

12th November 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! I'm here from my review thread :)

This was an interesting second chapter! It's a really different perspective when reading from a house elf's point of view. I find it a bit strange because you've used correct grammar in his thoughts but I'm so used to Dobby and other house elves being almost child-like in their speech. But when you do have him talk it adds up. I think it's just the stereotype I have of them that I need to shake off!

I understand your whole premise of the story is the test to get into the Afterlife but you'd think that the world would give people a break! They just DIED! Isn't that unfair enough?! :P Now they have to go jump through hoops to live a peaceful death?!

Although it is a really interesting idea! As we all learn, life isn't fair so why would the Afterlife be fair? :P

Okay, I just noticed a few things:

Dobby snorted and then immediately felt guilty for it.

I don't know if I could see Dobby snorting. Maybe giggling instead? I do like how you included that he still felt the need to punish himself later on though! Poor lil elf can't catch a break, huh?

I also feel like SIrius reacted a bit too strongly when Dumbledore told Dobby that he was going to be Harry's guide. I think maybe it was the spit that flew out of his mouth but that could be a completely personal and biased opinion.

Yes, miss?

You just forgot the closing quote marks ;) Happens to the best of us!

Also can I just commend you for writing Molly so well? I love how you made her still slightly resentful towards Sirius. Their argument was really well-done!

This was another really good chapter and I know you've said (either in statuses or tweets or posts I can't remember, to be quite honest) that you feel like you've hit a block but I think you should definitely keep going! It's a fantastic story with such an interesting concept and I can't wait to see how it's played out!

Feel free to request again :)

- Kayla :)

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Review #66, by ohmymerlinGoodbye, Love, Goodbye: Sirius, Sirius, Sirius

1st November 2015:
OMG RENEE

THIS WAS PHENOMENAL. I LOVED READING IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG AWW THIS IS SO SAD AND SO SWEET AND THEN YOU SAID READ IT BACKWARDS AND I WAS LIKE ???

AND THEN I READ IT BACKWARDS AND OMG

I almost started crying! I'm at uni so I'm not meant to cry in public (it's generally frowned upon) but WOW THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!

I'm not a shipper of WolfStar but I read them all the time but this story made my heart just melt ♥ You wrote them so phenomenally. Just the angst and ache in each word ugh ♥ So beautiful!

So as you can clearly tell, I loved this story so so so much. You're a fantastic writer! 10/10 of course!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: KAYLA THIS HAS GOT TO BE ONE OF THE NICEST REVIEWS I'VE EVER RECEIVED! THANK YOU! *hug*

I had a great time writing this, and I am SO happy you loved the story! I'm sorry you cried... but also kind of glad you cried because I am glad the story moved you. I'm evil. I'm sorry. ;)

But seriously... Siriusly... THANK YOU!



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Review #67, by ohmymerlinWhen Summer Fades: solstice

25th October 2015:
omg Kristin

I cried. Well I had to hold it furiously in because Mum is right next to me and I think she'd be suspicious if I just burst into tears.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY KILLED HER PARENTS EVIL EVIL EEEVVVIIILLL

This was such a wonderful ending to the story, even though it was really sad and I feel so sorry for Reg because he just got in too deep and although his sacrifice made it able to kill Voldemort, it's just so sad that he was only a teenager -- HE WAS ONLY A BOY.

Regulus is a wonderful character but you've made him ten times better than I ever imagined him. The fact that it was only one Muggleborn that made him change his whole perspective and loyalties is truly amazing. He's such a good person and I LOVE IT.

Anyway, this was such a wonderful story. I'm so glad you asked me to review it because I'd probably would've never read it! Mostly because I'm lazy :P

It was such a beautiful story and I'm so upset that it couldn't be resolved that Summer and Reg live happily ever after (as friends) and there's no Voldemort or no war and everyone is happy and smily just like Summer ahhh I made myself sad :P

Seriously though, this is one of the best stories I've ever read. I absolutely adored it! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: You are brave for trying to read a sad story when people are around! :P I remember when I finished reading the Deathly Hallows, years ago - my dad came to ask me a question and found me curled up on the sofa, sobbing over the book and surrounded by tissues. Awk :P

That was such a horrible scene to write. As much as I hated it, it really needed to be something that horrible to push Regulus over the edge and get out.

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked the ending! I think that whole scene with him in the cave is one of my favourite scenes I've ever written in any story. And yes GAH his story is so sad! He was just a kid who got mixed up in the wrong things, sacrificed so much, and was a hero but no one knew or cared. I'm glad you thought I did him justice, it's so wonderful to hear that you liked my characterisation of him and how he changed! Thank you!

I know, it's possibly the most depressing ending ever; basically everyone dies except Kreacher. I'm really glad that you thought the story was beautiful though, thanks!

O__O Wow, THANK YOU! that is such an incredible thing to hear and I'm so flattered. Thanks for reading and for your amazing reviews, Kayla! ♥


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Review #68, by ohmymerlinWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

24th October 2015:
WAIT NO

DON'T TELL ME THAT SUMMER DIED

NO

PLS NO

Please let that last line mean the end of summer as in the season as in the NOT CAPITALISED SUMMER AS IN A NOUN NOT A PRONOUN

Anyway, as you may have gathered I am here from my review thread again lol anD I'M NOT VERY HAPPY WITH THAT ENDING

Jokes, it's a fantastic way to end a chapter. The way you wove that in was astounding and so clever. At first I was wishing you'd go into more detail about the end of seventh year and seeing Summer again but with that last line it made it fit really well because time is just a blur and you blink and it's over within a second!

I just noticed a little thing in Summer's letter. You said this:
I know how it must be for you.

And I was wondering if you meant 'I know how hard it must be for you.' ? It does technically make sense what you said, but I thought you may have left out a word.

I LOVED how you had him find Horcruxes. That was so fantastic and the way you just placed it in there makes it so much more accurate for canon! I find it so wonderful that you managed to weave that within your story! That was so clever!

Regulus' character development is so fantastic! I think you've done it really well and I liked that he was uncomfortable in the Muggle hospital but he found that there weren't that many differences!

I LOVED how you said he got along with Anne and that her maternal characteristics made him closer with her. That's so sweet, and so sad because we all know that his mother wasn't very... maternal. Sure she adored him but it's nothing like a true mother's love. And the fact that Regulus would willingly write to her as well was just proof of how much he's grown.

I LOVED this chapter! I'm going to read on because I won't be able to wait!

10/10 of course!

Feel free to request again! Your writing is phenomenal.

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: ... yup. well, you've read the rest - I've got nothing to say for myself on that one :p SORRY I'M EVIL.

Wah, thank you though! It really means a lot to me that you liked the ending of the chapter despite not liking it (that made more sense in my head). And yeah, the idea being that time and detail kind of fade away as Summer does as well.

About her letter - I think I did mean what I wrote, but your version probably makes more sense :p

The horcrux thing was something that actually just kind of fell together as I was finishing writing the chapter - the idea suddenly came to me and I couldn't ignore it, as it fit in so well with where I was headed with the story. And I love developing backstory for canon events that aren't really explained in the books. ahh, thank you!

I'm so glad to hear you liked Reg's character development as well. This is the chapter where he actively begins changing because he has to make choices now - and yeah, that must have been eye-opening for him as someone who's been raised to hate Muggles and then to find out they're not that different from him.

His relationship with Anne was one of my favourite things to write, because of how much it changes Regulus - Anne is better at showing she cares about Regulus than his own mother is, and he really craves that kind of appreciation. Not to mention that she's a Muggle and Regulus sees this very human side of Muggles now - he KNOWS that what he grew up believing is wrong. I think it's around this point where he goes from being on two sides to being just on one side and too afraid to leave the other.

eeep! Thank you ♥ You are such a wonderful reviewer and these two reviews absolutely made my whole week. I can't tell you how many times I've re-read them :p Thanks so much. ♥ ♥


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Review #69, by ohmymerlinThe Next Great Adventure: Prologue: An Old Friend

24th October 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! I'm here from my review thread :)

Okay, I know it's about the afterlife and about Harry and Dobby, but I was still shocked when the first chapter was about Harry's death! I was like NOOO KAITLIN HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

It's definitely an interesting prologue! When I first read it I didn't tear up but then I re-read it again and those pesky little waterworks started coming up!

As for the dealing with the death. I think you could go into more detail about the whole thing. I hope you've never stood by someone who's passing away, but I have (but thankfully my grandfather managed to pull through and live an extra year) and I think you could have gone into a little more detail about the heartbreak that would be on everyone's faces at the time. It's one of the hardest things that they'll do and I think just a small line about Harry's heartbreak about leaving them could be slid in.

Characterisation. I think so far you've got Old!Harry quite well. I can never really picture him as an old man and I commend you on going for it and doing really well at it! I feel like Ginny was a bit too... accepting though. I could totally imagine her snapping at him, "Harry Potter you're not leaving just yet!" but I suppose if it's been a while, she'd be forced to accept it. But again, I always feel like Ginny's been highly emotional and you could just add a line in, especially when he tells her that it's time. Maybe just add that she tried to hide her tears or the pain on her face as she tried to accept that it was time for Harry to go? I can't imagine that it'd be easy to have the man you've loved almost all your life die!

As far as I'm aware, no typos, spelling mistakes, or grammatical errors! You're awesome at that!

And your description is phenomenal. I love how you opened it up. This line was so poignant, it really hit me hard: He felt as if every single one of the one hundred and three years hed been living was weighing him down.

That was just a fantastic line.

Also, Harry's acceptance of death was so true to his character. It really shows that he's been such a pure person his whole life.

Anyway, Kaitlin, this was an excellent opening chapter. You've definitely got me wanting to read on!

Feel free to request again! :D

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi Kayla,

Thank you for dropping by to give this a look over.

I'm glad you felt some surprise and emotional connection with the start of it.

I have in fact stood by a dying person on several different occasions. I was present when my uncle, my cousin, my aunt and my grandmother each died. None of them pulled through, so I do know the heartbreak of losing someone quite well. I actually wrote this particular chapter based on my own experiences with death, but I suppose my family is perhaps more stoic than normal. I guess I just see Harry as an old man who's lived a very long, happy life and is ready to go. In my mind, dying in your bed at home at a very old age surrounded by all of your loved ones doesn't seem to be very tragic.

With Ginny specifically, I have to disagree with your assertion that she's rather emotional in cannon. When Harry breaks up with her to go find the Horcruxes, I found her to be calm, composed, and logical. I imagine her to be similar in this type of situation. It's not to say that it isn't painful for her, but I don't think she'd be outwardly distraught. I think she'd want to be strong for Harry and her children/grandchildren/great grandchildren. And again, it's been a long time coming, so I feel like she'd have time to accept it and accept the fact that she'll probably be joining him soon.

I'm glad you liked the description. I always work hard at that.

Whew! No typos! That might be a first. I'm the worst for stupid little mistakes.

I totally agree. I think Harry would be very accepting of death having been through it a time or two.

I'm thrilled that you'd be interested in reading more.

Thanks for such a thorough review. I have a lot to think about now.

~Kaitlin


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Review #70, by ohmymerlinCold Blood: Light up the Dark

19th October 2015:
Hey, Erin! I don't know if you remember but about a million years ago you asked me to review this and I'm only just getting to it now. I'm so sorry about the insane delay! I didn't realise it'd been that long!

OKAY WHAT, WHY WOULD YOU KILL XENOPHILIUS? UMBRIDGE I UNDERSTAND BUT POOR OLD XENO?!

AND WHO DID IT!?

For some reason Dean keeps popping up in my mind BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. DEAN IS A SWEETHEART AND I LOVE HIM AND HE WOULD NEVER

Anyway, I think this chapter was really good! I love how you write all the canon characters, they seem really well done!

The only thing is that I feel like sometimes in the dialogue it's a bit choppy. What I find helpful is to read it out loud and then fix it up. Or have a fake conversation out loud (maybe do it when you're home alone or have music very loud so the people you live with won't think you've gone nuts :P) and write it out. Conversation is generally very easy and quite often colloquial so maybe just watch out for that a little bit?

But honestly, after that it's all amazing! I can't wait to find out who this crazy murderer is!

And again, I cannot WAIT until we see Hermione OMG WHAT IF HERMIONE IS THE KILLER

No, you aren't that evil, are you?

And bless Ron and Harry for being so upset for Luna :') They're such sweethearts I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Anyway, this was another great chapter! Feel free to request again, and I will definitely make an effort for it not to be another five months until I review :S

- Kayla :)

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Review #71, by ohmymerlinWhen Summer Fades: equinox

19th October 2015:
Hey, Kristin! You've probably forgotten, but you requested this in my review thread about thirteen years ago and I've finally got my stuff together to finally review. I'm so sorry for the ridiculous delay!

And I'm even more annoyed because I really love this story and for a very long time I've completely missed out on this! Shame on me!

So far, I don't think you've 'told' that much. (You asked if you're telling too much and not showing enough) I think you've managed to weave it in quite nicely and first chapters often do have that 'telling' aspect to it at first, but I don't think it's overboard! I do think you could go into more detail about Regulus' emotions and his conflicts between choosing sides, especially when he opens up to Summer in the broom closet (saucy, Reg ;))

I think you've characterised Regulus extremely well! And I love Summer! I feel like she's too laidback about being Muggleborn, though. Especially in that time but I admire her bravery. I think she's a fantastic character. I especially love that she's in Hufflepuff! ;)

Also, that cliffhanger is very effective! I had to resist pressing the 'next' button just to know what happens! I can't wait to keep reading! WHAT DOES SUMMER WANT TO TELL REGULUS AHHH

(My assignment is screaming at me from the distance though, unfortunately)

This was such a wonderful opening chapter! I think you've done an awesome job on it! I really loved it! It's so sad that Regulus feels so trapped :( I just WISH he'd been as stubborn and courageous as Sirius to be like 'I DON'T CARE ANYMORE I WANT TO DO MY OWN THING!!' but it's so dangerous for him :( You manage to evoke a lot of sympathy for Regulus, and I really admire that! He's such an interesting and complex character and I honestly think you've really nailed him.

Feel free to request again! I'll definitely try not to leave it for another five months... I'm so sorry!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Haha, this was like the best surprise ever because I'd totally forgotten that request! It's like finding $20 in your pocket that you didn't remember you left in there. :D

Thanks, that's really great to hear that the show/tell ratio is all right. I think first chapters do tend to have a lot of 'tell' and it's pretty hard to avoid, especially in a short but very comprehensive fic like this one.

At this point, Regulus hasn't really figured out his emotions yet. I see him as the sort of person who tries to shove his emotions down if he doesn't know what to do with them, and I think I point that out more in a later chapter. He's just really confused here as things are just starting to change.

It's wonderful to hear that Regulus is characterised well, thanks! Summer - she is like the dictionary definition of optimist, to a fault haha. People already know she's a Muggle-born, so what can she really do about it other than be laid back? And yeee Hufflepuffs! :D

Ahaha, I'm glad the cliffhanger is effective ;) but yeah I guess real life and pesky assignments really do have to take priority! Good luck on it!

So glad you enjoyed this chapter and thanks so much for reading! guuhh your point at the end about wishing Regulus had had more courage - this is definitely something I felt while writing the story, haha! He is a really fascinating and deep character though and I really love him. I'm so glad you liked him too!

Thanks so much for your wonderful review, Kayla! ♥


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Review #72, by ohmymerlinOh My Darling: 5

19th October 2015:
Heya, Cassie!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

THIS WAS SO ADORABLE AHHH

I LOVE ALBUS AND CLEMENTINE THEY'RE SO CUTE AND ADORABLE AHHH

Also, I LOVE the name Clementine! It's such a beautiful name! Beautiful name to go with a beautiful character! She's so sweet and shy and I really just want to squish her in a big, warm hug.

Al is really sweet as well. He seems so laid back and easygoing and I love that! I also loved how he talked about re-enacting Voldemort's death by Harry, hahahahaha! I can totally imagine that!

AND WHEN WILL ROSE AND SCORPIUS GET TOGETHER OMG?! Here they are lecturing Albus on his love life yet they still can't get it together! Honestly!

Lizzie is a very interesting character! She seems like such a wildcard and she's nice and all, but I don't know if I like her just yet. I don't know why but I'm getting a funny feeling about her.

Also, Behemoth is the best name for a cat. I love it so much. It's such a cat name!

And omg Scorpius wanting to sing to Celestina Warbeck just put the best image in my mind! I'd love to be a witness to that! Shame on the others for putting him to bed :P

Anyway, Cassie, I loved this story! I think you did such an amazing job on it! I'm so glad I got to read it! :D I would've reviewed every chapter but I was just so eager to keep reading! :P

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!
Wow, you flew through this! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I love the name Clementine, too, and have had it tucked away to use for a while now, but it never seem to fit my other OC's. And then I started this story and knew it would be perfect!
I love writing Al. He's very outgoing, especially compared to Clem, who's so shy. His family is famous, and he's really popular at Hogwarts, so he is used to getting attention (whether or not he wants it), and can really help Clementine come out of her shell a little bit.
Scorpius and Rose actually aren't going to get together in this story. In my mind, they don't get together until their 19, so they've had a few years in the real world under their belts, and have got their lives together a little bit before getting into a relationship.
I love Lizzie. She's so different from Clementine that writing scenes with the pair of them is always really fun. She and Clem balance each other out well, I think.
You can thank Mikhail Bulgakov for Behemoth's name!
Oh, Scorp. He gets a bit crazy when he drinks too much. But I love making him act all silly and try and put on concerts in the common room.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this so much! Thank you for the wonderful review. If you want to keep reading, chapter 6 is up!
Cassie :)


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Review #73, by ohmymerlinMARAUDERS: The One With The Very Merry Little Christmas

19th October 2015:
Hey, Lauren!

OMG THE WHOLE TIME I WAS READING THIS I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF, "Man, Lauren loves Friends!" I think I picked up on every reference, haha! It's my favourite show and I loved how you replicated that! Also, the title makes a lot of sense now! I was wondering why you made it like that! :P

But omg omg James and Lily were so adorable in this ♥ They're just so cute I love them so much! I liked the whole Stobler thing as well, haha! Love that anagram ;)

And I can SO IMAGINE Sirius shouting at people, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!" hahahahahaha

I loved how you wrote James' parents. They seemed very easygoing and yet it was still kind of obvious that they're older? I find a lot of people struggle with that and you seemed to absolutely nail it!

And omg I want fanart where Peter has a turkey on his head. Best image ever!

Anyway, I really loved this one-shot, Lauren! It was filled with two of my favourite things so that just made it even better! I'm glad I got to read this! :D

- Kayla :)

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Review #74, by ohmymerlinThe Walk To Your Beloved: The Walk To Your Beloved

22nd September 2015:
Hey, Lauren!

AHHH THIS WAS SO CUTE AND SO ADORABLE I LOVE HOW EXCITED LILY WAS AND HOW THAT THEY KISSED BEFORE THEY WERE MEANT TO THEY JUST GOT SO EXCITED AND I AM SORRY FOR YELLING BUT I'VE BEEN ON A MASSIVE JAMES/LILY KICK LATELY AND EVERYTHING I READ ABOUT THEM WARMS MY HEART UP SO SO SO MUCH ♥ ♥

Basically, this was so adorable. I love how Sirius was the one to be like, "guys we're at a wedding pls guys get a grip"

AND ALSO REMUS WAS THE OFFICIATOR (is that a proper word?) THIS IS TOO MUCH 4 MY POOR LIL HEART

AND THE LAST LINE ALTHOUGH INTENDED TO BE SWEET JUST MADE MY HEART BREAK BECAUSE THEIR FOREVER ONLY LASTED UNTIL 1981 AND IT JUST ISN'T FAIR

Okay, I know this review is a lot of unnecessary shouting but I can't convey the absolute love I have for this one-shot.

Just gah -- so sweet and so adorable. I love it so much. You're such a fantastic writer ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #75, by ohmymerlinThe Lucky Ones: It's a Small World After All

28th June 2015:
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015

Hey, Sam!

AHH CARROTSTICKS I CANNOT REMEMBER WHO THE GIRL WAS! Was it James' ex? I'm just having a complete mental blank at the moment! I suppose I could just go back and flick through the chapters but I am clinically lazy and will not do that :P

You have to update soon so I can remember who the girl was! Gah!

Okay, I love Ollie. I really, really do. But he seems a little... disrespectful? I mean, he puts an empty bowl on Lily's head, he kind of backchats to Harry and Theo, and I dunno... I really can't like that part of him... It's one thing to be comfortable around a person but the way he acts is slightly rude :O If my (future) son/daughter bought home a boy like that I'd immediately not like him. Maybe it's because I've been raised differently (a joke we all had when growing up is that we were to never touch the biscuits when the host offered one because that was considered rude!) but I really want him to work on that. He's practically staying in their house, so I would have assumed that he would have been on his best behaviour but apparently not!

And omg I was so creeped out by both Theo and Ollie making rude remarks! Theo could be his FATHER! Yuck! :P

But aw, I like how excited/nervous he was about his new job! Trevor seems cool and I'm keen to get to know his character more! I love how chill he seems to be -- from experience, having a chill instructor/mentor for your first time is fantastic. So I'm hoping Ollie will enjoy himself -- even if some crazy girl from Hogwarts is there!

Maybe they'll even become friends!

*scoff*

Anywho, this was a fantastic chapter! I can't wait to read more! (And hopefully with a lil more James/Ollie action hehe ;))

10/10

- Kayla :)

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