Reading Reviews From Member: ohmymerlin
  
679 Reviews Found

Review #51, by ohmymerlinWhat's an Offside?: Offside

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Oh, I just loved this, hahaha! Even though I've known soccer/football for my whole life (my younger brother's played it for about eleven years, my cousin even longer, and I usually try to go to their games) I still do not understand the offside rule :P And even though you were describing it quite clearly, I'm still confused hahahaha :P But oh well. Maybe one day I'll get it :P

The way you wrote their confusion was so funny! I especially loved how James was asking stupid questions just to annoy Dominique :P

I think you wrote this one-shot so well! It was so funny reading all the confusion and Dominique and Hannah's frustration :P Although, it makes me wonder how Dominique got to know and love football so much seeing as her family is mainly compromised of magic people!

Oh well, you made it work though! :D

- Kayla :)

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Author's Response: Oh, offside. It's definitely a little complicated, and the linesmen always seem to get it wrong anyway. :P

This is definitely where the word limit did me in, though. This was about 1000 words longer before I realized that I'd gone way over the limit and would have to cut it down, and one of the things I cut was how Dominique got into football in the first place. (It was basically through Hannah, who Dominique was friends with prior to them starting Hogwarts and whose father is Muggleborn, if you're still curious.) I'll probably add that back in, because I definitely see how it's a bit confusing.

Thank you so much!


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Review #52, by ohmymerlinFriends & Equals: When the Time is Right

9th July 2014:
Hello!

Ooh, this was a really interesting take on the friendship prompt but I think you really made it work! Death didn't seem too bad. He didn't seem like an evil overlord who's job was to take pleasure in all the people dying :P I like how you made Ignotus and Death reflect that 'and the third brother greeted Death like an old friend'. It's such an interesting plot and I really enjoyed reading it!

The scene where Ignotus passes the Invisibility Cloak to his son was also so good! And slightly sad :'( But I liked that you showed the Cloak slowly being passed through the generations, that was very clever!

Great one-shot! ♥

- Kayla :)

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Author's Response: Hi Kayla,

Thanks for stopping by to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story I wrote for the friendship prompt, it was a lot of fun to write and became very personal to me over the course of writing it. I wanted to show that Death could be seen in a more positive light, and I'm glad I got that point across well.

I'm really glad you liked the scene with Ignotus and his son. I wanted to incorporate the cloak because it's such a huge part of the HP world. Thanks again for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review!

-- Fae


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Review #53, by ohmymerlinEvent 3 - Will-O'-The-Wisp: The Forest

9th July 2014:
Hello!

You wrote Dean so well! He felt so very canon! I loved the little allusions to his family and that he was the cute big brother reading bedtime stories :') It gave me the most adorable vision of Dean and his younger sisters!

I liked that the will-o'-the-wisp or pixie was kind of teasing him! It was sweet to see, it was almost like she (or he) knew that Dean used to read all about them! And she or he led Dean to Ted and Griphook, like Snape's Patronus led Harry to Ron! :D

This was an interesting version of how they all met and grouped together but it's very interesting and believable! But props to Dean for realising that Ted and Griphook were also on the run. I know if I was in his shoes I'd probably just cry from fear and not realise anything, haha!

This was a great one-shot!

- Kayla :)

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Review #54, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: Over the Bridge: The Bridge

9th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, this was so sweet! I really enjoyed reading about how they were young! I loved how Petunia was so fond of Lily and that she just knew Lily was special! :') I also really loved the line that hardly any other kids went to the park! Mainly because whenever I was out with my cousins, the four of us would (we actually still do) dread seeing other people our age and having to talk to them/play with them :P I don't know if you intended it to be that way but that's what it came across as but it was sweet because it was like they just wanted it to be the two of them forever :')

It was so clever of you to relate Harry's "death" to Petunia's death here. It was similar, but not so much in the way that it wasn't creative. I liked how hers was the park they would always play in together. That was a very nice touch.

Beautiful one-shot! ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #55, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: One Promise: One Promise

9th July 2014:
Hey, Charlotte!

This was so sweet! I really loved the way you wrote Lucy and Raisa! People always say opposites attract and they did attract here! I thought this was a wonderful friendship to write about, especially the way you were saying how it was like it had only been yesterday that they had spoken. Those friendships are so wonderful to have and you portrayed it excellently! I can relate to Lucy how she got so nervous and then chiding herself later for being silly because there are just some friendships that are so strong that not even five years can taint it :')

I would offer some critique but I don't think you need any! It was such a wonderful one-shot! Absolutely loved it and I loved both your characters!

- Kayla :)

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Author's Response: Hi Kayla!

Aw, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the friendship portrayed between Lucy and Raisa here. I didn't even intentionally think about the saying opposites attract, but yes, I do think it's true in some circumstances, such as this one! It's definitely so lovely to have friendships that really do last forever, and that's what I wanted to depict here.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and for leaving me such a generous review! :)

- Charlotte


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Review #56, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: Broken Noses and Percy Shelley: Broken Noses and Percy Shelley

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

This was such a wonderful one-shot! I loved the exploration of Crabbe and Goyle! It put them in such a new light and I liked that you acknowledged that they both were aware that they weren't smart! So many times I've read stories with those two and the authors have made them so much smarter than they actually are so it was a refresher to see their canon selves!

I loved that you made them actually not like Draco! I doubt anyone -- no matter how dumb they are -- would ever appreciate that sort of treatment. I liked that you added that in! I really loved the boxing scene though! I remember in the books Harry mentioned something along those lines so I just loved that little addition!

And the water and fire metaphors were absolutely brilliant! Loved loved loved the allusion to Crabbe's death! That was so brilliantly written! Oh, it was just... I don't know how to describe it but it was sort of... melodic? Haha I have no idea how to explain it but it was just so beautiful! ♥

The use of second person was so perfect! It just made the whe thing so much more emotional and personal ♥

I also liked the use of Percy Shelley! I've only ever read like one of his poems but I remember I really liked it. I also heard that the woman he married was a rather famous author, am I right? ;)

Haha, anyway, loved this one-shot! Absolutely breathtaking! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review!

I'm glad that you liked my portrayal of Crabbe and Goyle. I didn't want to break from canon too terribly much, but I did want to give them a little bit of depth, hence Goyle's poetry and Crabbe's boxing. :)

Yeah, Draco was pretty awful to them, and they were supposed to be his best friends! They can't help but resent that. :P Haha, really? In the books? I thought I just made the boxing thing up... But if I accidentally managed to stumble upon something from the books and write about it subconsciously, then I'm okay with that! :D

Awww, thank you so much! I thought that Crabbe would be the fiery one since he died in flames. And took up boxing. :)

I'm really starting to like second person a lot. It's a fun PoV to explore!

Percy Shelley is my Romantic-era homeboy. Ever read "Prometheus Unbound"? It's fairly awesome. I highly recommend it! And yes, Shelley himself was quite famous, but he had a whole slew of famous in-laws: his wife, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, was the author of Frankenstein, and Mary's mother (who was also called Mary) was the author of "A Vindication of the Rights of Women" and other early texts that inspired the feminist movement in some ways. :)

Thanks so much!!!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #57, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: Misunderstood: Misunderstood

9th July 2014:
Hello!

This was a brilliant one-shot! I can't believe how well you managed to get Remus' personality! It was so spot on! The way he thought and the (rare) moments he talked was so /him/ and seemed so canon and real! I felt so sorry for him when he was saying he was hiding so he wouldn't hurt anyone. Even though he was starving and in pain and all alone! Even though he's the one that's suffering, he still thinks of others in front of him. That was so perfectly in character!

The scene with Dumbledore's was brilliant. I loved that he used the same line ("You brave, brave man") when he was talking to Harry in the afterlife in the Deathly Hallows! That was a nice little parallel there! I also liked that he tried to reassure Remus that although some people thought he was a monster, Dumbledore clearly did not think that.

And then Remus saying that Hogwarts was still his home was so touching :') I really loved that part!

Such a beautiful one-shot! Great work! ♥

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thank you so much! I am SO afraid of writing canon characters, but I really enjoyed exploring Remus's personality and seeing if I could get it right. I'm super happy that you thought I did it! :D Yeah, I definitely thought that he would be the type to put other people's safety over his own happiness/safety/well-being, so his reasoning for hiding away from society made a lot of sense to me.

Yes! I'm so glad that someone caught that! I intended for Dumbledore to act as a comforter and guide, much like he does for Harry in the afterlife. And the old wizard has had several years to try out his encouraging material on other people before Harry. I would like to think that he's said "You brave, brave man" to several people, Remus included. :) No, Remus is not a monster, but he probably still thought that even after he got married to Tonks, unfortunately, :/

Hogwarts is home to those who are wandering or lost. Remus is one of those. He found a good niche in the castle. :)

Thanks so much for your lovely review!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #58, by ohmymerlinEvent 3 ~~ I believe you.: I believe you.

9th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, this was so sweet! This is the first time I've ever read a story about Ernie and Stan, the cute little knightbus duo, haha!

I admit, for about the first half of this story I thought when you were talking about Ernie you were talking about Ernie MacMillan and I thought it was such an odd pairing to write about but you seemed to be making it work and then suddenly it just hit me you were talking about Ernie the Knightbus guy and it just made this one-shot all the more better! :D

I think you wrote their friendship really well and I loved how fatherly Ernie was being to Stan! It was so sweet!

You chose such an interesting pairing to write about, it was such a creative idea and you really made it work! As I said before, this was the first one-shot I'd read of the pair of them so it's safe to say you've definitely left a high bar for the others to match up! ;)

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Thank you! I've never read a story about those two either, but I was thinking about rarer pairs of friends (for event 3) and also looking for a slightly darker plot (I was going to do Dobby and Winky but couldn't manage it because I just wasn't in the zone to be able to write those two), and suddenly I landed on Ernie and Stan. I do rare characters. The more unusual the better.

I can't say much other than thank you, I'm so glad you liked it!

~ Leo xx


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Review #59, by ohmymerlinEvent Three - The Auction of Firenze: The Auction

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, this was such an interesting story! I absolutely loved it! The idea of Firenze once being a statue was so creative and so very believable! If someone had just mentioned that to me I probably would have scoffed but reading this one-shot I find it hard to believe it wasn't actually canon, haha! You've just got a way of writing that makes it seem so true and real!

I loved that Abraxas was so upset that his descendants would be in war and I especially loved how Firenze said that there were no winners in war. It was such a powerful quote and if you had a fandom, people would be writing that all over their Instagrams and Tumblrs hahahaha!

I loved their little friendship together. It was so sweet and I could just imagine a white-haired young man and a massive centaur bent down studying Astronomy, ahaha!

Brilliant one-shot! I absolutely loved it! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #60, by ohmymerlinEvent Three - Together: Together

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, I was loving this that Lily was yelling and shouting at Severus,
scolding him for what he had done to Harry because no one
deserves to be treated like that and he never saw Harry as Lily's son
only as James' and I love that you incorporated that into there
because he was always so overcome with jealousy that he didn't try
to think of Harry as someone he could have had a connection to but
instead treated him the way he treated James.

But then it annoyed me that Lily kind of -- well not forgave him but
went to him instead of James. I think if she was truly angry she'd
never speak to him again because that's just not one does when
someone treats your son like that.

But oh well, this is your story! It's just that I've never been that fond
of the Snape and Lily pairing so it's probably just a personal bias :P

But you wrote this very well! I think you got Snape's personality on
point and Lily's personality up until she ran crying to him. But again,
personal differences.

I also liked how Lily said she'd have a word with Petunia once she
died as well. That was a nice little addition!

Anywho, this was a great story (even with me kind of disagreeing on
the latter half) and I think you wrote it very well! :)

- Kayla :)

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Review #61, by ohmymerlinFlung Salt: an absence

8th July 2014:
Hello once more!

Oh wow, this was an emotional chapter! I felt so sorry for Parvati! She lost her best friend and they didn't even get to have the funeral Lavender would have wanted :( And I liked that they were making daisy chains together. It just seems so THEM and I could really imagine them sitting out in the grounds in the warm sun lazing about :') It's sad that they won't be able to do that though! D':

Oh, the scene with her running out of the church was just so emotional and sad :( I felt so sorry for her. I just wanted to give her a hug! D:

Again, your descriptions are just flawless. You've got an amazing talent! And random question, are you a graphics-y person (clearly I am not) because from the way you write it seems like you are. Especially when you describe colours or the surroundings, it just seems very graphic-y!

This was a wonderful short story collection! I think you definitely grasped Parvati's personality perfectly! This was an amazing job! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #62, by ohmymerlinFlung Salt: sargasso sea

8th July 2014:
Hello again! Ooh, this was interesting! I love the way you described everything and although I generally hate when authors are vague, I really liked this sense of vagueness! It was a bit confusing but it suited the story so well!

I really, really, reaaally loved the image of Dumbledore rubbing sunscreen into his beard. That may have been the best part of this one-shot, hahaha!

Jokes, the best part of this one-shot was definitely the descriptions! Absolutely loved them! I really loved the way you described the fourth dream with all those colours! It was such a vivid image and it just seemed a bit apocalypse-y (I know that isn't a word shhh) so is it meant to be foretelling the war?

Anyway, this was a brilliant one-shot! 10/10 ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #63, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: Constructive Criticism : Constructive Criticism

8th July 2014:
Ooh, this Runespoor was very wise! I loved all the clever statements that came from it and I loved at how the heads kept kind of arguing with each other! That was rather humorous! :P

I also really loved the 'stardust in her veins and venom in her eyes'. That was such a strong phrase. If this was a famous novel or movie, that quote would be quoted everywhere in my opinion! It was just such an amazing quote!

The heads were slightly sarcastic, it definitely made me laugh! :P

Also, loved the little history lesson with serpents and the connection to the Dark Arts! Was that all canon information or did you make it up? Because it sounded like canon, and the names were so clever! If you did make it up, wow! You're definitely creative!

This was an amazing one-shot! I really enjoyed reading it!

- Kayla :)

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Review #64, by ohmymerlinEvent Three - The Plans We Make: The Plans We Make

8th July 2014:
Oh, that was so sweet! Poor Hermione freaking out! I can imagine her going crazy with the planning on that holiday to France that you briefly mentioned! After all, I remember reading about her dreaded study timetables for O.W.L's :P Also, I liked how Harry hadn't seen Hermione that nervous since waiting for her N.E.W.T results. That seems very Hermione-esque!

I loved that they made bets trying to work out what Ron would do but they were both wrong! He didn't freak out, he stepped up and acted like a man :') Bless!

I also laughed at how Hermione used the wrong 'your' and Harry noticed immediately :P What a good friend-basically-brother to Hermione haha!

This was a great one-shot! It was so sweet! :)

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a sweet review! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it:).
Even though Ron stepped up, I imagine that there was still a fair amount of freaking out ;)

Thanks again!

-Georgia


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Review #65, by ohmymerlinEvent Three - Saving Teddy: Saving Teddy

8th July 2014:
Oh my god. I have never laughed harder! This was SO FUNNY! Seriously I'm going to be giggling about this all day at work today!

I knew it would be about a spider but I never realised how much I'd laugh because of it! I loved how he was getting all Auror-like for this and then all his training went out the window, hahahahahahahahahahaha

I especially loved at how he was thinking that they could just move house rather than the logical thing of either killing it or banishing it, hahahahaha! That would be just too easy! :P

Also loved at how Ron was 'thwarted' by his daughter's smarts! Even though she was only four, she still had Hermione's brain and that could often be still smarter than Ron's adult brain hahaaha :P

Also, nice touch with the wingardium leviosa ;)

Afterwards he was acting like he defeated all of Voldemort and his Death Eaters on his own! He's so silly and dramatic but that's why I love him! :P

Also I loved the last line where he displayed 'an unusual moment of cliched fatherly wisdom'. That was just brilliant!

10/10! Best story ever! ♥

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: YAYAYAY!
I don't write much humor, so knowing that you laughed is really great :D

I totally relate to Ron's irrational behavior when facing a spider. (shudders).

I love Ron, too. He's pretty much the best thing ever, as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks so much!! This was a really fantastic review!!


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Review #66, by ohmymerlinEvent Three-Into the Flame: Charlie's Test

8th July 2014:
Hello!

It's funny, I never really perceived Charlie ever having a sexuality. I always just imagined his one true love is his dragons but I did like the little addition of Erik. It was sweet :')

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE JUST LET HIMSELF BE BURNT LIKE THAT! HE COULD HAVE /DIED/! If Molly ever found out she'd kill him herself with her own fire breath! How idiotic can Charlie be?!

Anyway, I loved the way you wrote Charlie's excitement and nervousness at finally properly meeting a dragon (even though he let himself get burnt like that the silly boy!). It felt very real and I was so excited for him, less nervous because I thought he'd totally have it all under control but apparently not! :P

This was a really funny one-shot. It definitely had an unexpected twist but it was still very funny and very sweet seeing how much Charlie loved his dragons, haha! :P

Great work!

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hey!

That's funny, because for me, I always sort of just knew that Charlie was gay.

Charlie isn't an idiot, like you said, he's just madly in love with those dragons!!

I'm glad that I was able to surprise you with the ending a little bit!!

Thanks again for reviewing!

-Georgia


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Review #67, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: Overcoming Azkaban: Prompt Two

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, poor Sirius! My heart just broke for him! It would be hard seeing your dead best friend every day and it not actually being him :'( I think you wrote Sirius' sadness extremely well and not too over the top. I liked the bit where Sirius starts to finally notice that Harry IS NOT James and he goes to the attic to laugh about the fact that Harry doesn't have the annoying habit of ruffling his hair. That was so brilliant! It was also so sad that when Sirius would first look at Harry and be reminded of when he was in Azkaban and his memories haunting him :'( It's so unfair that he was put away for that long D': But it was a nice ending that he finally understands Harry is his own person and that one day he won't look at him and see James, but he'll see Harry :')

- Kayla :)

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Author's Response: I know, but you gotta love those Sirius feels ;) It's sometimes the little things that make the biggest difference and I liked that it was just a simple habit (or lack thereof) that changed his whole view on a person. It must have been heartbreaking for Sirius to see his best friend everyday who really isn't his best friend. Thanks again!
xoxo
Mary


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Review #68, by ohmymerlinHead Girl Evans: Lily

8th July 2014:
Hello again!

The first thing I started singing when I read the last line was Beyonce's song, 'Who runs the world? Girls!' Hahahaha! Just thought you'd be interested to hear that! :P

I loved how determined Lily was to show all those nasty Purebloods what THEIR place was! She's definitely a hard worker and I'm so glad that all her hard work paid off!

I also loved how James was so cute and supportive. Especially loved the line: "Lily Evans has entered the building, watch out Hogwarts."

That was great!

Lily's pride in being picked Head Girl was so endearing! I just wanted to pick her up in a big squishy cuddle and congratulate her, haha!

Ooh, nearly forgot to say but THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING LILY CAUSE A FUSS THAT JAMES WAS HEAD BOY! I have read SO MANY James and Lily fanfictions where Lily acts like she's eight years old when she finds out James is Head Boy alongside her and I am so happy that you made her act mature and reasonable about it! It was such a beautiful thing to read! :')

Great one-shot! Absolutely loved it! And Lily, YOU GO GIRL! :D

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Oh my gosh that song actually fits this incredibly well, I hadn't even thought of that.

Well I mean, living in a time like that she definitely had to be tough considering so many people in the wizarding world were actually turning against her kind of people during the time. I think James would've always been supportive of Lily as long as the things that she did didn't result with her dead.

I think anyone would've been really proud to be chosen for the position of Head Girl or Boy but it probably meant more to Lily than it usually would've to anyone else.

OH MY GOD I'VE SEEN THAT SCENARIO WHERE LILY COMPLETELY FLIPS OUT WHENEVER SHE FINDS OUT THAT JAMES IS HEAD BOY AND IT'S JUST LIKE "GIRL, CALM DOWN HE HASN'T KILLED ANYONE!" Like come on, Lily was a smart and collected type of girl, she wouldn't blow her top over something this simple and it's never stated in canon that she hated James, just that she wasn't afraid to call him out on his bullying. I always figured she'd be shocked at best and then just go with the flow instead of stomping her feet like a child.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #69, by ohmymerlinThree: Narcissa Malfoy

8th July 2014:
Hello again!

Ooh, this was an interesting piece! First let me say that you got Narcissa's speech and body language so on point! She was so formal and stiff, and it was so perfect of her! I think you really nailed her in this piece!

I was so sad when she shut down Andromeda! Andromeda was being the bigger person and putting their differences aside but Narcissa just acted like a haughty pureblood witch! (And I don't mean witch as in a magical female, but a nasty person!)

The scene between Lucius and Narcissa was also written very well! It was interesting to see how self-sacrificing Lucius was and it showed how much he truly loved Narcissa and Draco. Although I didn't find it that sad that he was rotting away in Azkaban. He deserved it, in my opinion. Yes he was acting for his family and stuff but oh well.

So I think you wrote all of these stories very well! I definitely enjoyed reading all of them!

- Kayla :)

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Review #70, by ohmymerlinThree: Pansy Parkinson

8th July 2014:
Hello again!

This was a very interesting take on Pansy. I thought it was very interesting that you made her like this and although I don't necessarily agree with it, I can't help but think that it actually makes sense in terms of Pansy in the books! Especially when you said she whined but tried to keep it out of her voice because she tended to whine all the time in the books but it was cool to see that maybe she didn't really mean to at times, it just came out!

And it was good to see that she was mature about the break up but that she still wanted to be friends with Draco. I think that was very grown up of her and not the Pansy we knew from the books!

I felt so sorry for her when she was saying she had no friends. And I didn't want to feel sorry for her so that must mean you've got some serious talent, haha! :P

Great job!

- Kayla :)

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Review #71, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: The Price Of War: The Price Of War

8th July 2014:
Hello again!

I felt so sorry for Susan! I didn't realise what was happening but then when you said she was blind, it made so much sense! It was a very interesting post-war affliction to have but it's quite good!

It was also clever that Dean also had the same thing happen to him, poor kid :'( It was clever that Susan realised it by the hand shuffling thing to hold her hand. I didn't get it at first but then when I re-read it I noticed that little part and realised. Very clever!

The opening paragraph was written so well, Lotte! I thought it was so powerful!

Great one-shot! ♥

- Kayla :)

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GO HUFFLEPUFF!

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Review #72, by ohmymerlinEvent Three: Frightened Little Beings : Frightened Little Beings

8th July 2014:
Hey, Lotte!

This was such a cute little one-shot! I loved how Charlie was such a sourpuss because of Bill. Although, Bill was actually older than Charlie. But it is fanfiction so you can do whatever you want with it, haha! :P

Although, I noticed there were quite a bit of errors. I think if you just read through it again, you'll pick it up. They were probably typos though, so don't stress out about it too much! And we did have a time frame to do this in so it's completely understandable!

Anyway, it was so cute how much Charlie loved the dragons! Also, I loved the name Elsa! Was that inspiration from a certain movie that came out about half a year ago? ;) (side note: HOW HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG SINCE IT CAME OUT?!)

Anywho, I loved this story! I think you did a great job on it! GO HUFFLEPUFF! ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #73, by ohmymerlinEvent 3: At Night's End: The sun sings lullabies.

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, this was an excellent exploration of friendship! It's such a creative new pairing, Luna and Ollivander! I absolutely loved it!

You wrote Ollivander so wonderfully, it really felt like J. K. Rowling wrote him! (Are you secretly her and not telling us? :P)

And oh my god. The way you described Ollivander making the wand was just breathtaking. It was so delicate and you could just tell it was Ollivander's one true love ♥

It was so lovely that part of the reason that Ollivander loved Luna so much is that she reminded him of his own daughter. That was so sweet!

I really loved this one-shot. I think you managed to capture Ollivander's personality so perfectly and the way you write is just so magical. I love it, absolutely love it.

10/10 ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #74, by ohmymerlinMy Tears Are Becoming A Sea: aflame

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Holy moly.

Wowza.

This was MAGNIFICENT. (I nearly wrote Maleficient there hahaha)

The amount of detail in your descriptions and the metaphors and similes and the repetitiveness (I know I'm sounding like a 15 year old's English essay but shh) was just so powerful and effective and just made me ache for McGonagall.

I loved the fire metaphor. And I especially loved the word 'aflame'. It's such a beautiful word and so delicate and wow I just can't believe how amazing this one-shot is!

The small soliloquy of her parents was also so well done. I loved the anguish that you described from both of them. Well... it wasn't really anguish but you know what I mean!

I don't know what else to say except at how much I loved this piece! You wrote it so beautifully!

Anything less than a 10 would be just wrong! There's no doubt you deserve anything less for this. Seriously, congratulations on being such an amazing writer! ♥

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hello! Omg Kayla lbr i think you're the one who deserves congratulations for being an amazing reviewer! Ahh you don't sound like a fifteen year old's English essay trust me!! This is a totally magnificent review and it made me smile sooo much ♥ ♥ thank you so much for the adorable review!!!
Astrid
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Review #75, by ohmymerlinA Last Goodbye: A Last Goodbye

8th July 2014:
Hello again!

Oh, this was so sad! :'( Poor Ron, losing his best friend! You wrote his misery and his annoyance at the wizarding world very well! I could imagine a grumpy old Ron yelling at them telling them to sod off or something, haha!

You wrote Ron's emotions beautifully though and it was so sad to read how much he ached for his best friend :'( :'(

I especially loved the second person prose. It made it feel so much more personal and hit us so much harder :'(

I especially loved at how you managed to get Ron's language so perfectly, '(insensitive gits)'. It just gave it such a /Ron/ feel which is brilliant! Loved the part where he thought his grey hair gave him sophistication and maturity and Harry made fun of him! That just seemed so typical of their relationship, hahaha!

Brilliant one-shot, Lauren! You did a magnificent job with this! ♥

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

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