Reading Reviews From Member: ohmymerlin
  
722 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ohmymerlinThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: Baby I Need Your Lovin'

14th December 2014:
Aw :'( Poor Arthur and Molly! I hope their separation isn't too long, it's obviously tearing them both up :'(

But omg I loved how insane Gideon and Fabian are. And Arthur's shock at that :P

He shouldn't REALLY be shocked, but I suppose he is. I'm interested to see how Gideon and Fabian's plan works out, but I have a funny feeling it won't work out because Molly can totally tell when someone is lying and she won't get back together with Arthur on the basis of a lie, he's just got to prove himself to her again!

I am so interested to see Molly's point of view in all of this!

Another fantastic chapter! Absolutely loved it! :D

- Kayla :)

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Review #2, by ohmymerlinThe Gift of Madness: Christmas

12th December 2014:
Hey, Mary! I'm here from my review thread :)

So this was an interesting chapter. I was a little confused because is it after James and Lily died? Or is this part of the 'AU' aspect?

I liked your use of repetition that Sirius felt useless, worthless, deserved to die etc. It definitely made it feel powerful.

However, I feel like the story felt a bit disjointed -- I know you're probably aiming for that but having one sentence on one line isn't aesthetically pleasing. You could definitely bunch up a few of the lines to form a paragraph. Even if that's a bit jerky and not flowy, it'll still suit the story because it's reflecting how Sirius is feeling.

For example, this: Something cracked inside him.

It hurt.

He fell, hitting clumsily the wooden surface in front of him.

Maybe he was dying after all.

You could definitely make that: Something cracked inside him. It hurt. He fell, hitting clumsily the wooden surface in front of him.

Maybe he was dying after all.

And that way you could smooth it out just a little more and make it a little less jarring. The disjointedness is effective but if the whole thing is disjointed, it pulls the reader out of the story, which isn't good!

But this was a really good introduction. You definitely made it very bleak and miserable, but that's a good thing, I promise, haha!! Strong descriptive skills! :D

I'm curious as to what Sirius did, though! It's going to be very interesting!

Also, this sentence: But his heart kept beating, as if to mock him, to humiliate him even further.

omg

It was so poignant. It really shocked me because most people use the heart beating as a positive sign that they're fighting for their life so it was such an interesting angle you took! I really think that fit the story perfectly. I reeeaaally loved that line! It was just so powerful to see how miserable and suicidal Sirius was.

So yeah, great chapter! Definitely try and push some of those sentences together but an excellent start!

Feel free to request again :)

- Kayla :)

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Review #3, by ohmymerlinChai, Samosas, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Samosas, and a Surprise

10th December 2014:
Hello!

Ooh this was so interesting! I just LOVED how you wrote Hannah! She was the perfect mixture of shyness and annoyance (at the beginning, haha)! I really felt like she was canon!

And I loved the way you wrote Neville. He seemed VERY confident, even a little bit cocky! :P But it wasn't a bad thing, he needed that confidence in the books so it's super cool to see that he achieved that after everything he went through!!

They were so sweet together making the samosas! I loved that little development between them. From the beginning she was annoyed and then at the end she had a friend WHO WILL BECOME HER HUSBAND AWWW

Also, I really liked how you put in all the extra background of Hannah and how she used to be a Healer! I think you wrote that super well and it provides SUCH a good explanation as how she goes from owning the Leaky Cauldron to becoming the Hogwarts matron! Really loved that! I'd never thought about that before but it just fits so perfectly!

Absolutely loved this one-shot! I'm so glad I got to snag it in the tag! :P

10/10

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Heya! Thanks for dropping by!

I'm glad you liked Hannah. I wanted her to expand on her character from canon, since all we really got about her was that she was a little anxious and shy.

Neville really has grown up, hasn't he? If there's one person who deserves the confidence he's earned, it's Neville Longbottom. I just had so much fun writing him actually doing well with the ladies ;)

That's exactly it! I wanted to capture that feeling of finding a new friend, but also that feeling of it developing into something romantic. It's better from the reader's point of view because you know they get married - your imagination is allowed to get carried away about what their wedding would be like :P

The idea for this story came to me after I read that new info about Neville and Hannah. I read it, and all of a sudden I was like yes! I'm going to write about Hannah in the near future! Don't you just love it when that happens? I'm glad that it fits well with canon.


Thanks so much for the lovely review :)


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Review #4, by ohmymerlinThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: 96 Tears

10th December 2014:
OOH MUMMA MOLLY IS OUT.

You wrote her scolding so perfectly! But NOOO SHE CAN'T NOT TALK TO ARTHUR!

(Although, we all know that won't happen because she goes on to marry him and have seven beautiful children and millions of grandchildren and live happily ever after aside from the war and losing one of her sons and oh I've made myself sad)

Also, I loved how you're putting in tiny little hints that Gideon and Fabian are brilliant wizards! It makes me so happy when everything matches up with canon! :D

Loved this chapter! Aside from Molly being so disappointed and angry at Arthur :'(

- Kayla :)

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Review #5, by ohmymerlinThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: Tell It Like It Is

10th December 2014:
Aw, Arthur and Molly are so cute together. I really love the way you write them! Especially when Molly get so distracted by him, hehe ;)

I feel really sorry for poor Cecilia. It must be difficult seeing all your friends be able to do it, even your friends brothers, and you still can't do it. I wonder why. DOES SHE BECOME A DEATH EATER OH MY GOODNESS?!

And poor Molly. She seems so insecure and I can definitely relate to her in the feeling 'average' part. You wrote that really well but I did like how Arthur managed to distract her again, ehehehe ;)

Such a good chapter!

- Kayla :)

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Review #6, by ohmymerlinHow I Saved the Wizarding World with Hair Potions, By Gilderoy Lockhart: Hair-Care Potion Maker Extraordinaire

10th December 2014:
Hey, Kristin! I've been meaning to read this FOREVER. And when I clicked on your forum page it was the first thing that I saw and I just KNEW I had to review it!

So this was absolutely hilarious. You've gotten Lockhart's personality so on-point it makes me wonder if YOU are actually Lockhart.

PLOT TWIST.

Hahahaha, but this was so funny! Even back then he was telling lies about what he'd 'accomplished' and ruining peoples' limbs. Ah, I loved all the small connections you made to the original series and it didn't feel like you were copying them.

I really loved this one-shot. I just loved how much Lockhart loved himself and you wrote it so fantastically!

10/10 of course! Anything less than that, Gilderoy would just lie about it anyway ;)

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Kayla! Hehehe, I'm so glad you stopped by! :D

Oh no - you've found me out! I am indeed Gilderoy Lockhart, six-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. Ah, but as amazing as it may seem, there is not a single lie about my accomplishments in this tale - all that transpired in this story is pure fact. Perhaps you should buy my book Magical Me to convince you? ;)

(eheheh, ok, enough of that, real talk now. Thanks so much, Kayla! I'm so glad you enjoyed this and found it amusing! :D I'm glad you got all those little connections too and that they seemed original. Gahh, thank you so much for your wonderful review!!


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Review #7, by ohmymerlinWhat next?: Chapter Two

10th December 2014:
Hello! I'm here from my review thread! :)

Your characterisations are great, once again! I really don't think you need to worry about that too much because we can definitely tell that you've thought about your characters long and hard. I can really see that you've developed them. If not, you're excellent at making us think that, haha! :P

I'm really curious as to what Malfoy is like and what happened between him and Rose.

It's interesting that Rose hasn't really thought about him that much after the 'incident' and didn't remember straight away. I just feel like her character would obsess over it for a bit, force herself to stop but then when Malfoy confronted her she'd feel super guilty all over again.

But that's just my thoughts!

But seriously, I am sooo curious what their massive 'fight' was and who started what/who ended what etc. I'm a super nosy person so this is like bait to me, haha!

I really like the way you've written Ruth. She's such a /real/ character. I like that she's so super passionate about Quidditch and gets shy about people that she likes, it's so human and you've written that fantastically. I really love her character but I don't want anything to happen with their friendship!! D':

So yeah, this was a really good chapter! I really enjoyed it :)

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

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Review #8, by ohmymerlinfall.: fall.

10th December 2014:
Hey, there! I'm here from my review thread :)

This was an excellent piece! I can't believe you're not a native English speaker! I would have NEVER picked that up, you're definitely fluent in English! :D

I just picked up a couple of things, however:

That's a lovely metaphor of life - falling down to inconsequence - blowing away in the wind.

I don't think you should just state this. It's telling not showing (I'm so guilty of this myself). So maybe just say something like 'inconsequences blowing away in the wind' or something that's much better than that terrible example, haha! As I said before, I'm also a teller not a shower :P

Also how you described the leaves. The 'pop, crunch, crackle'. I understand that leaves crunch and crackle but I really don't think they 'pop'. A balloon pops, leaves rustle or crunch or crackle. It also may have reminded me of Rice Bubbles: snap, crackle, pop! :P

I also feel like it would be a lot more powerful if it was in third person rather than first but that might be just my opinion :)

Other than those, I think you did a wonderful job on this. I think you wrote Rose's point of view spectacularly! I really loved reading her thoughts.

The interactions between her and Teddy were interesting. I'm not normally a Rose/Teddy shipper but you wrote them quite nicely. I felt like Teddy was a bit... pathetic the way he was practically pleading with Rose and making his eyes and hair the same as hers, but that might be just because I'm cynical :P I'm not critiquing the way you wrote him, I just don't like his character. You wrote him really well for me to have pretty strong feelings for him, haha!

Also, your descriptions are phenomenal! Absolutely fantastic! They were so vivid and so meaningful. I absolutely LOVED them! :D

Great job on this! You're definitely a talented writer! :D

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

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Review #9, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Alexa: When Some Secrets Come Out.

7th December 2014:
Ooh so AJ is Theo's son? Plot twist! And I'm so curious as to what happened with Kieron and AJ regarding the ministry! DUN DUN DUUN

And naw, Theo, Alexa, and Kieron are speaking to each other again! Now all Alexa needs to do is speak to Al, get everything out in the open be honest and all that other stuff and then tell him about the babies and work out something that will suit them both.

But it seems like Alexa won't be getting the abortion hmm...

I can't wait for the next chapter! I really liked this chapter (mostly because there was reunions and such) so I'm sure the next chapter will be a touch happier :P (It might be half a millimetre happier but still!)

- Kayla :)

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Review #10, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Albus: When the Bad Mood Hits Everyone

7th December 2014:
So much crazy but I loved it! It wasn't confusing (well, all the different names and slight back stories can be confusing at times but I just need to read every single one of your stories so it makes sense, hehe :P)

I loved the bonding moments between Gracie, Isaac and Al. It's only small, but it's definitely on the mend! :D

But oh god, no news on Alexa and her pregnancy. I don't know if that's a good sign or not. I don't believe Alexa will do anything without telling Al but ARGHHH I JUST NEED HIM TO KNOW!!

And ooh the Friday dinner is next chapter! I am intrigued!

Another brilliant chapter! Absolutely loved it! :D

- Kayla :)

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Review #11, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Alexa: When Surprise is an Understatement

7th December 2014:
omg

Alexa's pregnant?! Well, I admit I kinda guessed from that when she was sick. There was just a few too many clues in there, haha :P

BUT OMG TWINS

I'm pro-choice so I definitely think Alexa should do what she feels is right but she needs to talk to Albus before she does anything too drastic. She has a husband and a stable income, but they both need to be involved in this to support each other emotionally and not just 'sweep it under the rug' or something.

I can understand why Alexa is freaking out and wants to have an abortion, but I think she seriously needs to talk to Albus or even to a counsellor. THIS IS A MAJOR ISSUE AND I KNOW IT'S ONLY FICTIONAL BUT OMG IT'S SO SERIOUS AND /REAL/ HOW DO YOU WRITE THINGS THAT ARE SO /REAL/

So another great chapter! I'm going to read on to see what Alexa does omg. I mean, I want her to have the children because YAY children but if she's unhappy and doesn't think she can cope, she deserves to make the decisions about her own body omg

~~SO INTENSE~~

arghedhf dghvkjsdc NEXT CHAPTER

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Review #12, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Alexa: When Plans are Formed

7th December 2014:
Thank you for putting that bit of information in about the kids! I was getting a bit confused but it's definitely cleared up now! I LOVE all the organisation you put into this! :D

And ooh they're going to have the talk! FINALLY! I know it won't happen for a while (seeing as you said that :P) but IT'S BEEN ORGANISED YAY

This was an interesting chapter. There was a lot of information but it didn't feel /too/ overwhelming.

And the bit with Nicky and Alexa was sweet. I really liked that :)

Again, awesome chapter! Off to read the next one now :D

- Kayla :)

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Review #13, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Albus: When Talking Actually Happens

7th December 2014:
wait wait wait

who is Adam? Have I completely forgotten a character? (Which I admit, it's highly likely because I read so many fanfictions I probably get confused)

Is that the guy who Albus wants to 'avenge'?

Ah, so many subplots and SO MUCH DIFFICULTY MAKE IT EASY SAM :P

But yay! Baby steps in Albus and Alexa talking! They're getting there slowly but as they say, slow and steady wins the race ;)

Great chapter though! It was sweet seeing AL as a dad and treating them to breakfast :P

- Kayla :)

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Review #14, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Alexa: When Talking Begins

7th December 2014:
GAH THE CONVERSATION WAS SO CLOSE I COULD PRACTICALLY TOUCH IT

It's nice that they are FINALLY going to talk! It's been so overdue, oh my goodness!

And naw, Cody. Poor guy really cares for Xavier and you can really just feel the sting he's feeling because he wasn't told (okay, I'm practically falling asleep as I write this review so it probably doesn't make any sense but shhh)

And this is going to sound super weird, but I really love how organised your writing is. I don't know how to explain it, but I love how you can really tell you outline each chapter, you know each character inside and out, and it really reflects in your writing. You're super organised and that's super cool!

Great chapter, though! Albeit a bit frustrating because they were SO CLOSE in having 'the talk' :P

I'll be back ;)

- Kayla :)

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Review #15, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Hugo: When Something Wicked This Way Comes

7th December 2014:
Ooh Hugo's point of view! Very interesting! He's always sort of an enigma, and he's slightly crazy. I really want to see him with Ron and Hermione because I really can't imagine how they'd react with a child like Hugo, hahaha :P

And ooh, I like how Hugo does have a soft side! That was really sweet how he really cared about Albus and Alexa. But I wonder what's going to happen/what happened. ALL THESE MYSTERIES ARE SENDING ME NUTS.

The interactions between Hugo and BJ were also great. I loved how she was so interested and it's funny how Hugo just hired her on the spot. Do we find out if they work well together or nah?

Now onto the next chapter!

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Review #16, by ohmymerlinReasons to Smile: Albus: When Time Passes By

7th December 2014:
I'm finally here! I hadn't realised a) how fast you update, and b) how long I've not been here! I knew it'd been ages for Stuck in the Middle but now with the knowledge of that I was so far behind in BOTH of the stories is a bit shameful! BUT I AM HERE NOW :D

So ooh, there's a lot more back story and information on Albus and Alexa but I still feel like there's so much more! TEEELLL MEEE

(well I'm just going to read on and I'm going to hope in the next chapters there's going to be more information, haha)

But urgh, I just want to smack Albus. He is being so INFURIATING. JUST FIX YOUR MARRIAGE STOP BEING SO SELF-CENTRED

I don't know if self-centred is the right word but I feel like he's not properly thinking about everyone around him. I mean, he's quite clearly feeling guilty and knows he should fix it but he isn't feeling that badly that he's actually DOING something about it!

Off to read the next chapter!

- Kayla :)

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Review #17, by ohmymerlinCollision: Secrets

7th December 2014:
Hello!

So Freya used a pan to defend herself? Inspired from Tangled maybe? ;) hahaha

and ooh Lily is a squib! That's interesting! I love how you've made her so positive and happy all the time. I love positivity and I love how Lily practically radiates from it :P

And yay! They're back together! Although, I really want to see how they talk about everything! It's definitely going to be interesting :)

Great chapter! I absolutely can't wait for the next one!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Ooh I never even realised the connection! I didn't even mean to reference Tangled! Oops hahaha, but yes, definitely like Rapunzel! ;)

I just couldn't keep them apart for too long;) a week did pass though... if that wasn't clear in the chapter :p James explaining lots of things will be in the next chapter for sure :D

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!! :)

xo


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Review #18, by ohmymerlinDecoding the Tutshill Tornados: The One with the Cage

7th December 2014:
[angry hissing]

DO U HATE US HONESTLY TELL ME THE TRUTH

YEAH LOL JAMES JUST GOT TORTURED AND DANGLE AVERY IN FRONT OF HIM AND THEN BE LIKE LOL NOPE

WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN

I honestly hope Flynn falls into a vat of acid and just disappears forever and James and Avery can live happily ever after without that psychopath being near them ever

And omg I hope to god that the Potters (and probably Wesley and Paloma) are safe don't hurt them omg

Although I love that even though James is tied up to a chair, getting beaten, fearing for his loved one's lives -- he still manages to be snarky and sarcastic. Where would we be without his snark and sarcasm? :P

Great chapter! Can't wait to read the next one :)

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Review #19, by ohmymerlinDecoding the Tutshill Tornados: The One with the Negotiations

7th December 2014:
David Flynn is evil. Supremely evil. So evil. Even Satan would look at David Flynn and say, "bruh u too evil m8 tone it down u kidnapped ur own daughter bruh"

(okay I may have watched like six episodes of breaking bad and my brain is a bit like fibkbfdkbkd)

I really don't like David Flynn and I think he's an overdramatic baby who needs to grow up (if this wasn't a 12+ site you'd be seeing a lot more terrible words that not even the super cool 15+ forums would allow atm) before I strangle him

GAH I HATE HIM

JAMES PLS BE SAFE THO

And naw, Rose finally admitted her feelings for Bink. If only he was there to hear that absolutely romantic statement that I can't repeat.

Great chapter! NEXT CHAPTER 4 KAYLA

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Review #20, by ohmymerlinHormones: The Hogsmeade Branch

7th December 2014:
GAH I WANT TO KNOW WHAT FREDDIE IS ABOUT TO DO

But I hope that this doesn't make Ryan super mad at him and never want to speak to him again but logically I know she won't do that. She'll probably be mad at him for a long time (maybe forever) but she'll have to at least pretend to play nice for the sake of their daughter! BUT I'D RATHER THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU NEVER FINISH OFF YOUR STORIES THAT WAY

Seriously though, AWESOME CHAPTER, AWESOME STORY, AWESOME AUTHOR

I can't WAIT to read the next chapter! They're always so great! It just never stops being great! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #21, by ohmymerlinHormones: The Court Case

6th December 2014:
[world erupts in confetti and cheering music]

GO RYAN OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE HER SO MUCH

And oh thank god that WWW isn't going out of business/bankrupt etc. And that means they've got a spot in Hogsmeade, right?! :D

I really liked how you showed James' role in the business. I never totally understood it until now and you did a mighty fine job of that! It's interesting to see how clever he was in the business-y side of things :)

Absolutely LOVED this chapter! And I loved how boss Ryan is. She's the absolute best. I just LOVE her!

10/10 of course!!

- Kayla :)

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Review #22, by ohmymerlinHormones: Trust

6th December 2014:
Oh thank god George is okay (ish)

And aw, that father/son bonding moment was so sweet! You wrote that really well!

I also loved how you showed that Ryan is such an important part of Fred's life and she really does impact him, she's just not some random

Although I admittedly did tear up, I think you wrote this phenomenally. You're such a fantastic writer and you deserved every Dobby nom you got :D

Off to read the next chapter!

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #23, by ohmymerlinHormones: The Nursery

5th December 2014:
[THROWS ROTTEN VEGGIES AT YOU VERY AGGRESSIVELY]

Jokes, I'm not as mad because I can just click the next arrow but I have a feeling I will not like the chapter that follows this because as we are all fully aware, you are a very evil person :P

I'm with Fred, though. Still don't really trust/like Ollie that much. It's one thing saying things behind peoples' backs, but to actually call that to her face is pretty horrible. Like, Ryan is going through so much already but UGH WHY MUST U BE SO RUDE

ANYWAY, this was such a great chapter! I love when Fred and George talk. You write their relationship so fantastically! ♥

I HOPE HE'S OKAY OMG

10/10 ofc

- Kayla :)

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Review #24, by ohmymerlinHormones: The Dragon's Nest

5th December 2014:
AWW FREDDIE AND ROXY ARE TALKING AND ARE ON THE MEND YAY!!!

And omg Molly was fitting Ryan a sweater. Absolutely typical! Just loved it :P

I loved all these Freddie and Ryan moments. It was so, so, so, so sweet ♥ I just love how they interact and that they're tolerating each other and totally are on the way to falling madly in love :'D

Loved, loved, loved this chapter! Everything about it was so amazing!! ♥ ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #25, by ohmymerlinResurrection : Cooperation

5th December 2014:
Hello! Sorry for the massive delay in reviewing this, uni is terrible sucking up spare moments in my life!

First of all, this line:
"Albus Potter had never been at the mercy of a woman before. Unless, of course, the woman was his mother, his grandmother, his aunts, his cousins, or his sisters."

Best line ever! Absolutely loved it! But don't you think it should be 'sister' instead of 'sisters'? I only noticed it once I was reading it for the seventh time :P

And ooh Burke is a creepy psychopath! Why does he want to destroy love? Will his motives be revealed? DUN DUN DUN

I'm really scared for Georgiana though! I don't really like her (she's kind of got a snobby air to her :P) but I don't want her to die or anything!

I'm interested to keep reading! Can't wait for the next chapter! :)

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