If this was your first ever fanfic, then it was really wonderful! An intriguing POV and moment to choose to illustrate the idea of a "perfect moment". I love your writing style. xoxxoAuthor's Response: Aww thankyou! I didn't embarass myself too much when I wrote it, anyway :P Hehe, I'm glad you liked that - and thankyou so much! xoxo Report Review
I really hope you include more of Parvati in the upcoming chapters! She's a nice balance to Lav's character and she really does tend to get stellar lines. Can't wait until then next chapter.Author's Response: Parvati is the sane one out of the whole story. Poor girl I really do feel bad for her but she's a great friend isn't she? Next chapter will be out soon I promise! :) Report Review
"“I gave her a look. I won’t, come on Patel. Its cupcakes not rocket science," Oh Lavender...if you only knew that there actually is a fair bit of chemistry involved in baking.
There were so many great lines in this chapter that had me slipping out my chair in laughter. I really am falling in love with Lavender and Parvarti! Oh man, she just had some of the best lines I've ever read in a LONG time. The tone of this fic is absolutely wonderful. xoxoxoAuthor's Response: Oh yeah more reviews! I'm really glad you like the story, Patel and Brown are so much fun to write. They're just so normal and yet so hysterical. Report Review
I loved this. You wrote Lavender's character so realistic, she sounded very much like a girl whose human and flawed and everything. I can really relate to her on certain aspects of her life as I'm nearly in the same exact situation. Looking forward to how this goes!Author's Response: Lavender has been one of my favorite characters to write just for that reason. Because she's human, not everyone acts totally like her, but everyone can relate to her in some way. Whether it's stalking guys or reading junky magazines. I'm really glad you liked this story! Thanks for the great review. Report Review
If this was your first time writing Ron, then I am absolutely blown away. I love this piece of writing. The tone, diction and pacing were very Ron like, but showed him at a deeper level than the books ever showed him in. You did an incredible job.Author's Response: It is, so thankyou so much! Eep I did so want to do Ron credit, but not eradicate the canon image of him that we have - thankyou SO much for this lovely review :3 Report Review
Yes, Hermione, it is Bellatrix. Deep down in the sixth or seventh circle of hell, that mad cap lady is testing you to your wits end.
I loved the subtle detail you threw in about Ron and Hermione's horses, that their respective horses' colour matched their own hair colour. I think it's really interesting how you play on the dynamics of Ron and Hermione, in the books, Ron has always been shown as the sidekick, the one with less maturity, the one, I wouldn't say weaker, but not as strong or resilient as Harry or Hermione, and Hermione while emotional, is rendered with more of a backbone, has common sense in spades etc. Here however, I feel like the tables are reversed, in that you show Ron as the person with more inner strength, he's really an adult, with rationale and he has a firm idea of what is right or wrong and I really like that, while Hermione is shown more emotional in a feminine way, more vulnerable and I think it's fantastic because it makes her entirely more human.Author's Response: Absolutely. Bellatrix most definitely has that type of power. Mhmmm.
Thank you for noticing the detail- wow are you an excellent reader! I really enjoy the way I've characterized them, especially when foiling Ron and Hermione. Hermione's been through some stuff, while Ron has taken his wallowing time to grow up and become slightly more bitter. Still, with Hermione he always has this hopeful attitude. I don't think they've ever really felt completely over to him, even after he found out she was married. It isn't real to him- he's upset about it, but the fact that he can never be with Hermione never actually hits him.
Leaving Ron turned Hermione's life upside-down in ways that you will be finding out soon enough. ~writergirl8 Report Review
Lmao Ginny. I really like the balance you struck with all three girls in chapter, it shows women (in general) from all different sides emotionally, and I like the underlying vibes of inner strength I got from Lavender, which is truly a feat because it's Lavender. Perhaps strength isn't the best word, but more like..spunk, or something akin to that. she's not just this dumb girl whose playing along for fun, and that she genuinely wants to help them get back together.
I also liked how you rendered Hermione here. In the books, she's portrayed as emotional and stuff, but here it was different, you made her feel like it could be any one of us, and I'm sure we've all felt like that, or been in that kind of state of emotion. (I know I have). And even though the plotline of the story is slightly ridiculous, it's really lovely that you've made it so realistic that readers can find themselves relating to the characters and emotion.Author's Response: Thank you! I do think that they're all in very different places in their lives, not to mention being very different people, so it was easy to make them different. You know, I actually sort of love Lavender- at least the way I write her. In my mind, there's so much more to her after she gets over that awkward phase of being a selfish teenager. She likes her fun, but she has a way of understanding people. She knew Ron loved Hermione the entire time they were dating and thought that she could change him, but the way she couldn't taught her a lot. Killing her off would have impeded so much character development. YATES. Still, she does like her fun. We can't ignore that about her character.
I don't know. I have a lot of Lavender head-canons.
As for Hermione, you sort of have to figure out how to balance book Hermione and adult Hermione. They're different but the same and it's a very delicate mix.
I happen to always write pretty ridiculous stories and then attempt to make them realisitic- not with my one shots, usually, but with my novel lengths. I guess I like a challenge. ~writergirl8 Report Review
“We are good, productive, respectful adults. Good people don't have affairs.”
That line really struck a chord in me, (in a good way!), I really respected Ron here, because even the best people make the wrong choices and have affairs, but he didn't technically since it's entire ruse. The way you write really makes me see him more and more as a true adult post war and that's something I've never felt when reading other fics.
I also liked the beginning half of the chapter! It reminded me of the season 2 episode of Friends where Rachael and Ross are both telling the guys and girls they kissed in the coffee house in the two different apartments and the television shows split shots. the lightness of balanced out the poignancy of the latter half of the chapter.Author's Response: I happen to like that line quite a lot, because in two sentences Ron manages to both prove that he's grown up and strike me with the gravity of their situation. I knew I just had to put it in and to have him say that. It was right.
I hate when people make 25 year old Ron act 10 years younger. It actually drives me up the wall.
I'm obsessed with Friends. I've said it before and I'll say it again. So, yes, that scene was inspired by Friends. And I regret nothing. ~writergirl8 Report Review
Oh my I don't know even know where to begin, this was such a beautiful, poignant chapter and I am extremely impressed that you managed to make it so without making it mushy, fluffy or sappy. Again, I was paying close to the little details that you throw in and again, your minor character Sadie just added a deeper hint of flavour into this, she just had a few lines but there was so much that you could feel from them (at least I did). And the necklace! I would love to be able to see a picture of Hermione's necklace, it sounds absolutely gorgeous and the design is so fitting for the two of them. You painted her so well in the wedding dress and I honestly wish I could make a banner for this chapter but I don't know if I'd find images to put together that does it justice.
One last note: I'd just like to applaud you for weaving in themes that all circle around family, reconciliation and bringing people together, food, baby sitting, cake tasting, wedding dress etc, all these reoccurring ideas are great foreshadowing for what I hope will be a happy ending!Author's Response: Ahhh... thank you! I love Sadie, I'm glad you noticed her! I could probably write a fanfic on the awesome character of Sadie, she amuses me so much.
I would love to OWN that necklace. But it is their necklace, born from my imagination of a perfect combination of the two of them and the significance of everything.
Feel free to try with the chapter banner... I'm sure you could do it if you put your mind to it :)
I'd like to applaud you for noticing those scenes and themes and being an amazingly diligent reader in the care that you put in your reviews and the details that you notice. I'm well impressed and very thankful. ~writergirl8 Report Review
"“Remember when my parents arrived two hours early when we had them over for dinner that one time?” Ron said. “They heard you singing in the shower then... so, really, you've had an audience before.”
Oh my god where to begin, there were so many lines that I loved, especially the one with Victor and him being banned from singing cos of I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt...anyway. I think you did a lovely job coaxing out the more deeper emotions from both Ron and Hermione without making either one of them OOC, sappy or sentimental. I found Hermione quite candid here, and not her usual tightly wound self (of course the alcohol might have helped a little). I also give you points for achieving a delicate balance when it came to the use of alcohol, as sometimes it can bring out the truths in us but also the very worst of us and what you did really worked for this chapter!Author's Response: Haha. I loved how you gave me a quote and made me laugh out loud in public. Thank you kindly!
And the Sexy and I Know It Thing is one of my favorite things about this chapter... just that mental image... oh god.
I feel extremely proud of myself for managing to do this without making them sappy, if you think that I didn't. I mean, maybe the right amount of sap... there has to be some sap...
I needed her drunk for this scene. I just did. ~writergirl8 Report Review
“I don't know, I didn't stay in divination.”
She let out a little groan, then said, “Why oh why didn't I stay in divination?”
“Maybe because it is a rather useless subject?” Viktor suggested."
I know that we're all supposed to be paying more attenton to Ron and Hermione and the big picture and all that, but I find myself fascinated by the little nuances and details your throw in that entail other characters. It really gives an extra oomph to this story. I will admit I was a little disappointed with the short scene of boys outing but then I got to the end and read your authors note about this being part one of the meeting so I'm sure whatever you have planned for us will be lovely. xoxoxoAuthor's Response: Thanks! That's so cool! I'm actually proud of myself for being able to get you to notice the little things that I put into the story. I know the characters so well that I basically do it without even knowing anymore. I just want everybody to look at them the way that I do. ~writergirl8 Report Review
“Ladies first,” Ron said cheerily. This gave him a chance to seem gallant and to look at Hermione's arse for at least forty-five seconds. It was a win-win, really." Oh my god I don't even know where to begin, I absolutely LOVED Ron here. He was a loveable prat yet very much human in the best way possible in this. In fact he reminded me of a very dear mate of mine and that made this chapter all the more enjoyable. I also really liked how you portrayed Fleur here and the evolution of her character's relationship with others, there was a lot more depth to her than I've seen in other fics, even if she plays a minor role.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed his characterization, as I know some people can get pretty fedup if he's not exactly like he was in the books. And I'm thrilled that you've noticed how I've expanded Fleur's character. That's really my head canon for hers, so it's really nice that other people can agree. Minor can be major! ~writergirl8 Report Review
Lmao I just started reading this on a whim and I'm already hooked. The pacing and tone is great, I love the sarcasm that's dripping off both of them and I love how you've made your female protagonist someone who actually has a mind of her own. Definitely going to keep reading!Author's Response: On my goodness! Thanks so much! I really appreciate your comments!
I try to make my characters as origonal and dare I say as human as possible so to get a compliment on them always makes me feel good.
I'm glad your hooked because I am as well. I already have an idea what is going to happen so I can think about how it's going to play out, I feel kind of bad for you guys, since you don't really have a clue...
Anyways! Thank you so much for your review! I hope you continue to read and review! I'd love to see your name up here again! I assure you things only get better from here. :)
P.S. The female protagonist is a lot like me, so I think we'd be pretty good friends :) Report Review
“Vell, you always made it seem like they were so... incompastable.” That line was hilarious. I loved Victor here and as soon as I heard Ron describing the character who used humor as a defense mechanism, I went CHANDLER BING FOR THE WIN! You are my hero for always throwing Friends references in your chapters, it makes me smile.Author's Response: Oh gosh. I'm so obsessed with Friends. It's not even funny. It's actually pathetic.
I'm a sad little person.
But I love myself anyways.
By the way, Lavender and Ron are pretty damn incompastable. ~writergirl8 Report Review
“That would be wonderful, thank you,” she said. “I- er- often have trouble apparating after eating cake.” That line made me die of laughter. It was really rendered Hermione so wonderfully human and relate-able. I'm sure we've all had moments like those. I wasn't sure how Ron would turn out in this fic and from the first few chapters I did not get such a detailed sketch but here I was pleasantly surprised, I really liked how you defined his sense of morals and his view on breaking up a marriage. It definitely gave him more depth to him than I read in other fics. xoxo Report Review
First off, I immensely enjoyed the friendship between Hermione, Ginny and Luna, I really love strong female characters and even though Luna didn't have such a big part, the lines that she did have really made her stand out in my eyes. And again, I like your use of food as the theme of reconciliation and bringing them together and I look forward to the cake tasting.
What I like best is that for an idea that may seem outlandish to some, (the whole warring exes plotline) the way you write it with it's dialogue and attention to detail really makes it quite realistic. Lovely job!Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad that you want more of the characters and that you liked Luna's one-liners. That's basically her only part in the story, unfortunately.
I think I like food too much...
Gah, I try so hard for the slight realism that this story has. You don't even know. Thanks for the reviews! ~writergirl8 Report Review
Your attention to detail is lovely and I really enjoyed the theme of food being the common thing that gave the structure to the entire chapter and bringing Ron and Hermione together, food really does bring people together whether they like it or not! (In my opinion at least).
You are also amazingly clever in leading the reader to think one thing is going to happen when something else entirely different happens instead! Towards the end as it was winding down I really thought you were going to have them kiss and I was holding by breath hoping that you wouldn't and I'm so glad you didn't, instead leaving us for something to look forward to, the double date which I'm sure will be hilarious.Author's Response: Haha. I'm actually amazed that you noticed the food thing- I agree with you that it was the common thread pulling the events together throughout the chapter. And why not make a food chapter? I love food. It tastes AWESOME.
Alas, the leading to believe one thing and another happening device is one that I have stolen from some fantastic authors and continue to use in my own stories to murder the hearts of my readers.
Kissing in chapter four. Ha:) ~writergirl8 Report Review
The flashback reminded me a lot of Friends, where Ross and Rachael argue the technicality of constitutes as a "Break" and I really enjoyed it as I am avid Friends fan. You wrote Victor wonderfully and for me, he was the best part of this chapter, his dry humour was really spot on and it totally works with this kind of story even though in Rowling's world he appears to be a bit of a sour puss.Author's Response: Yeah, I'm absolutely positively obsessed with Friends. It's actually very unhealthy and people sometimes punch me in the face because of it. There are SO many Friends references in here- it's actually ridiculous. They aren't even hard to find.
I'm glad you liked Viktor! That's really cool. He's always fun to write. I think he would have grown up a little bit from the whole sourpuss thing, don't you? He was a surely seventeen year old but life goes on. ~writergirl8 Report Review
"Of course, what he was really thinking was, Did you just call me Ronald?" I loved the line. You write Ron's inner dialogue with his head very well, it's not too sarcastic nor too over the top or outlandish. The inclusion of Ginny was a nice touch to this chapter and I hope as I continue to read on her role expands a bit more!Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's so nice to hear that you like my story and I'm really glad that you're enjoying Ginny. She will insert herself into the story again and again as it goes on. She always does. ~writergirl8 Report Review
When I first saw the title and the summary I thought "I've got to read this" thinking I'd be delving into some hysterical, mad cap humour romance story but then the first chapter came and whoa! Totally different start than I expected and I applaud you for that. At time it was a little confusing and chaotic with the sudden switches between POVS with the two of them but I am definitely going to keep reading this!Author's Response: Well, thank you so much for giving me a chance! I think the rest of the story is a little more similar to what you actually thought this was, but it definitely 100% has its serious moments and its deeper moments, such as the one in the chapter. It's a lot of mixed feelings. I must say, this is one of my favorite reviews that I have gotten for this story because that's exactly what I wanetd you to think going in. ~writergirl8 Report Review
I found this chapter a little redundant of what was covered in the previous chapter but that' ok, it was from a different person's POV. I encourage you to keep writing as I'd like to see where this fic is going! Are you going to reveal more about the narrator? I'd like to know more the narrator is possible! Do you plan on revealing information about Bellatrix? Because I think you would do a great job doing it. Keep writing!Author's Response: This is a response for all of your three reviews:
I cannot thank you enough for leaving me three reviews!!! With this piece I sort of gave up a while ago but thank you, as you've given me a boost of confidence and extra motivation to see this through.
I was fortunate enough in my holidays to have lots of free time so I had written out about five chapters for this story. Unfortunately I have had to scrap one as I discovered the formatting is not acceptable for this site, so I planned to only release one more chapter and end it for good. Basically I lost my creativity and felt that I couldn't do it justice as I feel that I'm limited in my ideas. But now I am definitely going to review the story and try to get as much out of it as I can.
I can promise you that you will learn more of the narrator but I can't promise you when. If time permits me, then June/July I will resume writing and release some more chapters.
Thank you so much for your reviews! Words cannot explain how much you've motivated me and I'm glad to hear one person likes it! Report Review
I thought you did a great job, I loved the way you're going about revealing the characters through other character's thoughts and memories and the even pacing of this is just incredible. Report Review
"To ever truly receive a full picture, one must look for the finer details" lovely line. Great tone and I love the evenness of this first chapter. On to read the next! Report Review
Lmao this was hilarious, and quite original as well. Highly enjoyed it. No one ever pays that much attention to Charlie and I'm glad you wrote a one shot about him!Author's Response: Aww yes, Charlie, probably making the List of Top Ten Neglected But Still Awesome HP Characters (yes, it HAS to be capitalized like that.) I'm glad you liked my one-shot! I might write more snippets if I feel inspired. xD
~Khanh Report Review
When I first started reading this fic I thought "Wow!" the pairing was so original and I really loved how you wrote Mulciber. An clever twist on a stray scene that Rowling planted in our heads via Lily and I was wondering how you were going to work in what exactly made Lily say that about Mulciber and then came the ending and I went "WHOA!" Seriously, great writing, and amazing details to the characters.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliments (and your awesome interjections). Now you have me grinning like a loon. Seriously. (Siriusly, even? Yeah, I went there. xD) I'm glad you liked it!
~Khanh Report Review
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