Reading Reviews From Member: XxImAgInAiReXx
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by XxImAgInAiReXxLike a House on Fire: A First Time for Everything

27th April 2014:
Review tag!

I can see where you're going with this, and it has most definitely been done before. But it's always fun to read a good Marauders fic, you just need to be careful to put an interesting spin on it. You've created some interesting characters. I didn't find any of them overly annoying, which is a common thing in these sorts of fics. The only piece I felt needed more explaining was Millie's aversion to Sirius... I don't think it just should come out of the blue like that.

Another thing is when Millie says 'look at it this way, there's still half the day left', it seemed too optimistic a thing to say for her character. The way she acted the rest of the chapter didn't really match up with that piece of dialogue for me.

Anyway, overall it was good, and I hope you continue with it :)

Author's Response: Yeah, I know what you mean about this plot being done to death. It's my first fanfic though, and I can't bring myself to abandon it so I'm going down with this ship, as the saying goes :P

I feel you about annoying characters - don't you just hate that? I'm glad mine aren't overly annoying, but give them time, give them time...

Hmm. It's not that Millie's averse to Sirius. They've never really crossed paths before. And it's not very obvious yet, but Sirius is a very annoying person around Millie later on in the story (I told you to just give them time - they get to the annoying stage).

Thanks for your feedback and your review! It was lovely to hear from you :)


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Review #2, by XxImAgInAiReXxMemories : Ginny

6th April 2014:
blue vs. bronze battle :)

This is a pretty nostalgic piece about what happened after the war with Harry and Ginny. It's pretty feel-good :) it made me smile when Ginny was going through the pictures in the album. I liked the memories you came up with as well--how Harry proposed to Ginny, finding the wedding dress, and the wedding itself.

But let's get down to business (and defeat the huns)

The most obvious thing I can think of right now to criticize is that Harry and Ginny had no reaction when the man started speaking in the way he did. I know it's a part of The Princess Bride quote, but I think they would have noticed and had a good laugh about it behind the dude's back. I also think that you could have made it a different speaker than the one who spoke at Bill and Fleur's wedding, because how did he start speaking like that? Maybe it's the old age.

Grammar and Punctuation-one specific example of punctuation I didn't really like was in here--"Oh Ginny I can't get over the fact that my little baby darling is getting married!!!" The sentence is fine, but using three exclamation points is a bit excessive, I feel. It just bothers me. It's not a big thing, but usually it's less distracting for the reader to only have one punctuation mark at the end. Also, for a more nitpickier thing, I think dogeared should have a dash, like this: dog-eared. Also, here: "Now it's come true, it's like a fairy tail!" Tail should be spelled like tale.

Pacing-pretty good. I didn't feel like the story was overly rushed except at the end. I thought you could have spent some more time on Ginny's thoughts and feelings when the man is speaking. Basically, it's the matter of putting in a couple of sentences chalk full of adjectives and feelings.

Whew. Okay. Overall, this was fun to read, and I enjoyed it. I hope you keep writing, it seems like you're off to a great start :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You're really the first person to give me feedback on this and I will make sure to fix those edits you gave me! I really appreciate the time you put into this review for me and all the awesome feedback. Thanks again! :)
~Panda Weasley


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Review #3, by XxImAgInAiReXxLike a Rat in a Maze: Coal-black Eyes

6th April 2014:
REVIEW TAG

This story was interesting to read. I think this is the first story I've read that puts Peter Pettigrew in the protagonist's position, and does it well. You did a good job capturing his character and making the reader sympathize with him as well. I also enjoyed Snape's character. It's entirely realistic that he would want revenge against the person who causes Lily's death, even though he probably was just as responsible for it as Pettigrew, if not more.

If I had one complaint, it would be that Pettigew didn't use that as some sort of comeback or argument with Snape. I don't think it would have changed it at all, but it would have added some depth to Snape's character, if Pettigrew reminded him about how responsible he was for Lily's death, and Snape lashed out instead of being reasonable.

Overall it was a great read :)

Author's Response: Hi, there! Likewise, I had never read a fic that dealt with the time that Peter spent as Snape's "guest" at Spinner's End, told from either character's perspective. I had to imagine that some interesting things took place during that time. Snape was, of course, every bit as responsible as Peter, but I doubt that would have reduced his desire to hurt Peter. Hurting Peter ultimately damages Snape, himself, and he probably realizes that he deserves no less.

That is a good point about Peter throwing the prophecy back in Snape's face. I hadn't thought of that. It probably would have made Snape even angrier, which could play nicely into the story. Thanks for the idea!

I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by XxImAgInAiReXxRules of the Game: Just Friends

5th April 2014:
Hi! I'm really enjoying this story, and I'm really interested to see where you go with it. Keep writing :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment :) it was so nice to find! I hope you come back to find out more!

Lauren :)


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Review #5, by XxImAgInAiReXxRules of the Game: A Home From Home

5th April 2014:
I enjoyed this first chapter. It seems like an interesting set up, and I'm excited to see where you go with it. Although, a thing I did note was that your summery and your story don't really match up. The summery makes it seem like the story is told from Lily's point of view. Just a thing I noticed. Anyway, it'll be interesting to see Ivy and Albus's dynamic, especially since Albus is out of school, and where you're going with that.

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Review #6, by XxImAgInAiReXxPerfectly Pansy: A Proper Pureblood Witch

5th April 2014:
I really enjoyed this. I don't have much of a connection with Pansy either, and I think your take on her character was surprisingly accurate. I really liked how her obsession with Draco how we see it in the books in movies is explained here-she's striving to be the perfect pureblood witch. And I liked how your pureblood values made sense. I think a lot of the times fan fiction writers forget that purebloods are people who thought what they were doing was right and tried to be better within that belief.

One of the things I wasn't quite on board with was the characterization of Ron, and how on both occasions he seemed ready to attack Pansy. I don't know, it seemed off to me. Maybe just a few harsh words from him would have made it more believable. Also, Harry was basically mute here, besides holding Ron back. I feel he would've been a little more vocal. But anyway, that's just my opinion and the story isn't really about them.

At the end, when she started crying, I had trouble thinking of why she would cry. In the rest of the story, it seemed like she was being a perfect pureblood. A good thing to remedy this is to show her failing a bit more, or at least show her caring that she fails, if only mildly. In other words, if you're going to have her cry at night you should definitely make sure the reader knows why. I could figure it out, but not right away.

Besides that, the pacing of the story is great and I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the great review! I'm glad you felt that I accurately portrayed Pansy. She was not easy to write and it took me quite a while to figure out a way to make her sympathetic (at least a little bit).

Thank you for sharing your feelings on Ron's character. I chose to emphasize his short-temper and zero-tolerance of everything Slytherin. Also, I felt that Ron was always quick to anger when it came to Hermione being threatened. Maybe he wasn't so violent in the books, but from Pansy's point of view, he was a real bad guy?

I chose to make Pansy cry at the end because she cries herself to sleep every night (at the beginning she was anti-swelling her eyes). The pressures of being a proper pureblood are so great that they consume every moment of her day. As she drifts off to sleep it becomes too much.

Again, thanks so much for the review!

Beth


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Review #7, by XxImAgInAiReXxThings Havenít Changed : The Last Stand of the Shower Perv

9th December 2012:
Oh. My. God. Best chapter ever, I swear. Keep writing, because you have a gift. Love this story. It's gotta be one of my favorites. Update quickly, please, please, please.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :)

I'll update VERY SOON, so be on the look out!


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Review #8, by XxImAgInAiReXxAsphyxiated: Drowning

14th October 2012:
Well, this was a nice little one shot. I mean, not nice, because he's drowning. Nicely written is what I mean.

I wish it was longer, but I suppose there's only so much you can do with Regulus dying :) Even so, I really liked it. Even though we never meet Regulus in the books, I think it was a good portrayal of his character. Sirius's too, through Regulus's eyes.

9/10 :)

Author's Response: Lol thank you!

I tired so hard to make it longer, but I ran out of ideas. It started out being only 500 words, so making over 800 was a huge accomplishment for me XD


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Review #9, by XxImAgInAiReXxBlack Coffee: I'm Feeling Mighty Lonesome

14th October 2012:
tag!

So this story is good. Really great introduction, I love the beanbag bit. It's a bit off cannon, with James being in the year above, but it's not much of a difference, so I'm fine with it :)

One thing I'd suggest is starting a new paragraph whenever a new character speaks. For example:

Lily said, "Blah blah blah." And walked away.

"Blah blah blah," Peter said, following her.

It really makes a story more readable :)

9/10

Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback! :)

I've stopped working on this though, but if you want to read my new fanfiction, "This May Be Fatal", I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks a lot,
PsySp


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Review #10, by XxImAgInAiReXxPick a Poison: One

14th October 2012:
Aw, I love Astoria/Draco! Especially how you wrote them here. I just don't think it's very realistic that society just accepted the Death Eaters. There had to be some struggle there. You showed that perfectly. I also really like the narraration technique you used here. You don't usually see it on hpff. It was a nice touch.

10/10

Author's Response: Hello! I really love Draco/Astoria now, even more than I did when I wrote this story a few months ago. I'm very happy to hear you thought this seemed realistic. I mean, even people who haven't done anything wrong take time to acclimate to change and to be accepted by those around, so how about those who had taken a part, even if only minimal, in a destructive war?

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments and I'm glad you like the story!

-Manno


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Review #11, by XxImAgInAiReXxOblivious to the Obvious: Sarcasm And Annoyances

10th October 2012:
So I think you've set up a good classic love/hate relationship here, which I always love, because they're just fun to read.

One thing I do see in the love/hate things a lot is that somoewhere in the story, the girl just suddenly notices the guy and how incredibly amazing he is. That's one of the biggest mistakes you could make, I think. You just need to make sure that it's a gradual thing, and I think you'll be good :)

I love the story, and will continue reading. Right now. Just because. Yes.

Author's Response: Hello!

Ahhh, thanks! I was thinking a love/hate relationship was over doing the cliche, but as soon as I got into it, I realized all I had to do was make it original.

And I am *hoping* that it doesn't appear as though Hailey just suddenly realizes he's there and amazing. I think with how the rest of the story is plotted, it'll work out, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.

But I'm glad you love the story. It was fun to write and I hope to see you back reading more soon! Thanks for the review!

~Grimmerz


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Review #12, by XxImAgInAiReXxThe Left-Behinds: Prologue: How To Say Goodbye

6th October 2012:
Just want to tell you first off that you're freaking amazing at writing little kids.

A lot of times we see nine, ten, and eleven year olds portrayed as stupid, scared, and timid. But I remember when I was nine, ten, and eleven, and I know for a fact that most of us weren't like that. It's nice to have younger kids portrayed correctly for once.

I'm not saying that some younger kids are actually timid and stuff, but yeah, most aren't.

I think this is a really great plot. I've never seen this idea been done before. It's really original, and I like that.

So basically I really love your story, and I'm going to read the rest of it now. So, yeah. I'll be off now.

~Elle :)

Author's Response: Ahha thankyou so much! I definitely agree about the portrayal of younger kids, because it was one of the things that made me want to write TLB in the first place. I definitely wasn't stupid and scared as a ten-year-old and if there's so much mischief at Hogwarts, I want to start it now ;)

Hehe thankyou so much! I've never really seen younger next-gen so it's a lot of fun getting to write them how I want to without having to avoid cliches :D

Aww thankyou so much for this lovely review! :D


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Review #13, by XxImAgInAiReXxSilver Dragons: Silver Dragons

3rd September 2012:
Well, I don't usually like Dramiones, but this one was somewhat believable.

I like how it wasn't completely out of the blue, how Draco didn't just suddenly say, 'Hey Hermione, guess what? I love you!' and Hermione's like, 'Oh, Draco, I love you too, even though I hated you up until this moment! Let us ride of into the sunset and leave all of our plot holes behind!'

It wasn't like that. It was all explained, and I think it made sense. I don't know about Hermione crying at the end. I know crying would be the right reaction to have, but they weren't close. He did confess that he loved her, but I would think her reaction would be shock.

Just my two cents.

~Elle

Author's Response: I actually plan on doing a re-write for this story, to give it more substance, and a bit more background story for Hermione / Draco to make it more plausible. ... I'm not sure if she would have cried or not, but I think if I had seen an actual dead body of someone I knew, who had left me his last dying words, I'd probably cry. Thanks so much for the review.

Diamond


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Review #14, by XxImAgInAiReXxTreasure Hunts: Treasure Hunts

2nd September 2012:
Well, at first I thought this would be a Dennis/OC, but I'm really glad it wasn't! It was so sweet, how they just became friends instead of the whole cliched 'my-wife-left-me-because-I'm-magic-and-now-I'm-running-to-you-hey-let's-have-a-romantic-relationship-since-clearly-we-belong-together' thing.

And cliches are cool. It's just a nice change to see something that isn't.

I loved how Lyra just coolly turned Leo away, like, 'Hey, you messed up my life! I am not falling for you again, no way!' instead of the 'Well you really screwed me up but I think I might be falling for you and then there's this guy who I eventually end up with and you fall off the map, leaving a big plot-hole' scenario.

Also, just gotta say, I love Ben and Timothy. They are adorable!

In short, this story is awesome. A devaition from the norm, and a surprisingly pleasant read. You made your characters believable and the scenes you put them in plausable. It's pretty awesome.

~Elle

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm pretty worried about this story, because I had so many different directions I wanted to pull it in and the result is rather long-winded and choppy (in my opinion). I am glad to see you enjoyed it, it makes me feel a bit better. And Timothy and Ben... They were characters who weren't really necessary to bring in, but I just had to write them, they were so adorable in my head (this is why the story is so rambling...)

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Review #15, by XxImAgInAiReXxGot Dynamite?: Dreamworld

28th July 2012:
Weeel,

I think it's really good. For your first chapter ever and all (congrats, by the way!). The spacing's a little off. And make sure you start a new paragraph when another person speaks. For example:

Instead of

"Blah blah blah." Said Alex. "Blah blah blah." Responded Dominique. "Blah blah blah." Rose said.

Try

"Blah blah blah." Said Alex.

"Blah blah blah." Responded Dominique.

"Blah blah blah." Said Rose.

Not the best example ever, I know, but do you get what I mean?

Author's Response: I think I get it, thank you for commenting on it and helping me grow. Thanks a lot for reading!

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Review #16, by XxImAgInAiReXxInferior: Chapter Four

28th July 2012:
No! The last chapter!!! Dude! This totally deserves to be a novel. Please keep writing.

Author's Response: Haha, sorry but I think it will remain a short story. Don't worry, there's one more to come and a short epilogue at the end of that!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by XxImAgInAiReXxFor the Living: Stages

28th July 2012:
This is great writing. It does have choppy flow, but it adds to the piece rather than taking away from it. I really like it.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks for the review!

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Review #18, by XxImAgInAiReXxSitting in an Overcrowded Garden: Of Grass and Giggles

18th June 2012:
Hello!! It's xximaginarexx from the forums, I responded to your review swap--thing.

I really liked this chapter! It had some grammar mistakes, and you made Al's eyes blue. As a cannon girl, I like them green, but it's not just me you're writing for, or not even me at all, so... yeah.

Story-wise, I think this has great potential. I love the characters already. Update quickly!

~Elle

Author's Response: Thank for reviewing. I will subit mine when I get home from school as these school computeres are a pain to use. Thanks for the review.

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Review #19, by XxImAgInAiReXxLike You Mean It: 14 Days Before

25th March 2012:
Oh this is good! I love how you've characterized Lizzie (mostly because she sounds just like me) and how you've created Gemma and Candice's relationship. Also, the skipping around in time probably won't be a problem, as long as you do it by chapter. You just have to be careful on making it as clear as you can on what time period you're writing in.

Update quickly!

~elle

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Review #20, by XxImAgInAiReXxDeception: Inflitrations

13th October 2011:
Love it as usual. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you for your support.

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Review #21, by XxImAgInAiReXxDeception: Incognito

13th October 2011:
Yay. Love chappie 2. Even more in love with this story. Good job. :)

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Review #22, by XxImAgInAiReXxDeception: The Plan

13th October 2011:
I love this story...and it's only chappie one. Good job.

I love the plan. You know, boys really are like that. They're such jerks.

Anyway, love the story.

XxImAgInAiReXx

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Review #23, by XxImAgInAiReXxNormal? That's Weird...: Mutiny, Disownage, and Break-Ups

9th October 2011:
Yay new chapter!!! Love the story, love ScoRose stories in general. Keep it up!

Author's Response: XxImAgInAiReXx,

Yay new review!! So happy that you like the story, and yeah, ScoRose stories are awesome in general. :)


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Review #24, by XxImAgInAiReXxThe Games: The Name Draw.

3rd October 2011:
Yes! I love the Hunger Games! I'm not too into crossovers, but you made this one great!!! Please keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I'm not big on crossovers either (Harry Potter/Doctor Who/Twilight should not exist together.) but I really love this idea and even though it's BASED on the Hunger Games I can really make it my own by introducing magic etc :D

Thanks for the review!

Coffee xxx


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