Reading Reviews From Member: CloakAuror9
474 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CloakAuror9The Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: I.

8th November 2016:

First thing, I'm so sorry that this took me a couple of days. I was just cleaning some IRL mess but anyway, I'm here with your review :)

Humour is definitely a constant element of this chapter and its a strong point about it. I think that it works very well and you have some A+ banter going on between Lyra and Scorpius. I think this is one of the few stories I've read where Scorpius has an actual sibling --not just him being 'like siblings' with one of the Weasley children. So, I find that quite interesting as well since the two seem to have a warm and solid relationship.

I also like that Scorpius is a Hufflepuff! How cute. I'm just imagining platinum blonde Malfoy and his yellow and black scarves.

I'm not sure of how I feel about Lyra though. She definitely has a strong voice since this is a first person POV, but I feel like her thought process tends to disrupts the pace of the story sometimes? She bounces from one thing to another real quick and if that's the kind of narrative that you're aiming for then I say you did a great job.

The structure of the story is a bit different, not at all what I expected but I still like it! I think what you're doing and where you're going to take this story is very interesting. You've written a very nice introductory chapter with a strong main character!

I enjoyed reading this!!

- Izzy

Author's Response: Hey Izzy, thanks so much for the kind review! It's okay, I hope that RL gets easier for you.

Great, I'm really going for the funny with this fic! Most important thing EVER!!!

I love Hufflepuff Scorpius, but I've always Ravenclaw headcanoned him. I wanted to try something new, and I was inspired by ad astra's No Strings Attached Scorpius to do a Hufflepuff Scorp (he's not much like her characterization of Scorpius though).

Lyra is supposed to have a voice so strong that you can hear her power in Argentina. That's just how I planned her. And yes, that's also kind of the narrative I was going for in this first chapter, she's kind of supposed to annoy you.

For me it was really important that this story be unique. IMPORTANT!

Thank you so much. Have a lovely day!


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Review #2, by CloakAuror9The Unknown Hero: The Unknown Hero

10th March 2013:
Hello, I just finished listening and reviewing to the podcast version of this, so I thought I might as well drop by and leave a review for this amazing story.

The title of the story is absolutely perfect for the story. When I first saw it, I thought it was going to be about people who died during the second wizarding world war, so I was absolutely thrilled when I realised that this wasn't about that. ;)

This is really wonderful. I thought that you characterised Regulus really well and even though I don't really have much to base thsi on, I do know that he and Sirius both came from the same house so I didn't think there'd be much different between them other than Sirius is more rebellious and funnier that Regulus is. (Or maybe that's just my imagination.)

The story is well-written, it's full of vivid imagery and I especially like the way you described how Regulus entered the cave, what with the cutting his hand open, the wall crumbling and all. I really liked that bit! Though my favourite would probably have to be the last two sentences! Absolutely amazing. I love how you gave the readers and Regulus this sense of peace in the end.

Really amazing story! I loved reading it! ♥


Author's Response: Thank you so much for listening, reading and reviewing! It means the world to me! :)

I think you're spot on with Sirius being more rebellious and funny. Regulus has always seemed to be more of a thinker, a follower and takes himself and life more seriously than his brother. Sirius is more of that free spirit where Regulus is more reserved and guarded.

I am glad that you liked that part of the story because it was difficult to write. I didn't want to seem like I was using JK Rowling's vision, so I tied in what I remembered she had described and what we saw in the 6th movie. Regulus isn't Dumbledore when it comes to magical ability. Funny enough he is more like Harry at that point. He's powerful, but there is much he needed to learn and wasn't going to get the opportunity to.

I adore Regulus so to make his dying thoughts come out and connect with the readers really makes me happy. I wanted to play on how someone can change even when it is the last chance they get. Those last chances to do right earns you a certain respect because you finally get to the point where you know you can be. I hope that isn't confusing.

Again, thank you so much for reading, listening and reviewing. I am sorry for my tardiness in responding to your review.


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Review #3, by CloakAuror9Lithium: Lithium

8th March 2013:
Hello! Just dropping by to get some points in for the review battle, and I am so glad I did!

That was SO unexpected. Oh my gosh, I'm so shocked. It's good that you said that you only made James do something like that for the sake of the one-shot because I just can't imagine him doing that, though I admit that the idea you presented was interesting. I've never thought about it that way! I felt so so bad for him, but a part of me was angry too. It was just unfair for Lily.

Your description in the story was really great, as well! James's guilt was just so clear from the very start of the story. Lily's anger was a bit disconnected from the story, in my opinion. But other than that it was really great! :D

The ending made me cry a bit! That was just really heartbreaking, but at least we got to know that no matter what James did Lily loved him in the end, right?

Lovely, sad and well-written one-shot! I thought that the song was perfect for the story. Really great job! ♥


Author's Response: Oh gosh this story was a lifetime ago! I realize now how different this story is to my others and I wonder if I'll attempt another song-fic again.

I remember while writing being concerned with how far to toe the line with James' actions. When I see this story on my page or the file on my computer, I do occasionally wonder how I would write this story now years later.

Thank you for the review.

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Review #4, by CloakAuror9Light the Way: Teeth

6th March 2013:
Hello! (:

This is just awesome! I had goosebumps everywhere by the time I reached the end of the chapter. I usually avoid apocalyptic stories because I just find it hard to be believable at times, but your story is real. It's fantastic, really.

I love how the amount of terror and suspense in the story! It was scary, but not to the point that you want to stop reading because you're terrified you'll get nightmares later at night when you sleep.

The details in the story is amazing too! Minor things like that little red toy car, the radio Albus has and each of their jobs that help keep them sane, when they all add up together it just makes the whole chapter a lot better. Of course there are the major things too, like Rose's relationship with Scorpius and the fact that monsters of all sorts have invaded the world.

Speaking of Rose, her characterisation is just wonderful. Right now, I feel as though she's more of a pessimist that an optimist. She's almost certain that she's going to die soon too! I hope that's not the case. Her thoughts are very well-constructed and it definitely gives a lot more depth not just to her character but also to the story!

I have a lot of questions, like who are the inferi? What happened to that old woman? Where's the rest of the Rose's family? I know they won't be answered (yet) but I can't help but ask. :P

Fantastic job! I'm keeping it in my favourites and will be back for chapter two as soon as I can. :D


Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't think this story would get much attention because of the genre, so it always makes my day when it gets a review! :)

I have to warn you that a lot of questions are going to be left unanswered at the end of the story, but it's safe to assume that most of Rose's family is wandering around the country like she is.

Thanks again for stopping by! :)

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Review #5, by CloakAuror9Task One Challenge: Bravery and Ambition: Recklessness and Thought

5th March 2013:
Hello! :)

I love your portrayal of Salazar and Godric's friendship! The two of them seemed really close and sometimes I just find it so hard to believe that their friendship ended so bitterly. I think you showed their character traits really well throughout the story. Salazar being so rebellious and sneaky like that and Godric being the helpful, headstrong and brave person he is.

A really great Founders fic, especially since its your first! I do hope that you write a second one, I think it'd be great. I really enjoyed the fact that the story flowed so well. Their 'little' adventure was really cool and I could easily imagine the two of them fighting off Dragon Dealers. Oh, and the banter the two of them had going was funny too. I just really enjoyed this one-shot! Great job! ♥


Author's Response: Hello!

Yeah, they're very close in this. It seemed interesting to write young versions, before the bitter rivalry and Salazar leaving the school. Having them as good friend kind of makes things sad in a way.

I have a Founders novel planned somewhere. Maybe I'll write that one day. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


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Review #6, by CloakAuror9Hopeless: They're going to die, you know

5th March 2013:

Okay, this is probably one of the best angsty one-shots I have read for a while. I love how it's written in second person! I haven't really read a lot of stories that are written in second person, so finding this is like a little bit of treasure. Choosing to write this in second person is a great decision, I thought it worked more effectively than if you used first or third person.

Hopeless. The title is absolutely perfect. It says everything about the story. Even I was starting to lose a little bit of hope as I was reading the story, and I already know the outcomes of the series! It's a depressing too, isn't it?!

Gah, this is just a really great one-shot. It sounded so canon and these probably were the things that was going through Harry's mind when he wore the locket.

Amazing job! I absolutely loved it! ♥


Author's Response: First of all, I'm really sorry that's it's taken me so long to reply to your review. I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave it.

Thank you so much for the compliment. I'm not usually an angsty writer. My stories tend to be a bit more on the fluffy side, so I'm glad you thought this was well done. The second person pov was also a bit of an experiment, so I'm happy to hear that you thought it worked for this story.

I can't even imagine having to wear that locket. It would be absolutely terrible. As if the trio didn't have it bad enough, fleeing for their lives, on the longest and worst camping trip ever, they also have to wear a dementor scarf all the time. Poor trio. :(

I really strive to make my stories as canonical as possible, so I appreciate that you thought it felt true to the story. Thanks again for your review!

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Review #7, by CloakAuror9The Young and The Reckless: Padfoot and Prongs

5th March 2013:

I found that your banner was very eye-catching so I decided to pay a visit. :)

I think this is a great start to a story, better than what I could ever do anyway. Your descriptions were really well-done, though I found them a bit too overwhelming at some points of the chapter.

I found the idea of James's finger being nipped by his very own as a rude awakening was very funny. It probably wouldn't have been funny if it had happened to me too, though. :P The banter between James and Sirius was well-executed too, I thought it showed their bromance pretty well.

There are errors in the story that I think you could easily fixed and make the read more enjoyable for the reader. First, try to separate your dialogues by treating them as paragraphs. Giving them just a line break does make it a bit harder for them to read and it just doesn't look pretty as they look like a big chunk of text. And I saw a lot of missing commas and full stops at the end of dialouges. If you're a bit confused as to which goes where (like I sometimes am) then the hpff forums do offer a range of resources that authors like you could have a look at anytime. :) Otherwise, this was a nice read! Great start for a story and good luck!


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Review #8, by CloakAuror9Bravery and Courage: Bravery and Courage

5th March 2013:
Helloo! :D

First of all, can I just say that your story title couldn't have been any better! I'm saying this for two reasons; one, I think it suits the story in general and two, it's helping with me...err...Common Room activities. ;)

I like the idea of Rose doubting the idea of her being a Gryffindor just because Scorpius told her so. (That was very mean of him, by the way. How would he feel if someone told him that he shouldn't be in Slytherin? Pretty bad, I hope.) And then three years later she's, once again, doubting her bravery but for an entirely new and happier (?) reason this time.

I love the last line where Neville takes pride in himself because he thinks that he helped to make their relationship happen. In my opinion, he probably did too.

Overall, this was a nice read, but I did spot a bunch of grammar errors along the way and, I have to be honest, they did annoyed be just a bit. So I really recommend you going over this or a beta and try to fix it up as much as you can. I think doing that will help bring the quality the story up more! Otherwise, I really liked it! Fantastic job!

A very happy Slytherin,

Author's Response: Oh! Glad I could help!

Yes, Rose was rather hurt when Scorpius told her that she didn't belong (it was rather mean of him, wasn't it?) The second reason is much happier, but still, a problem!

Neville was rather proud of himself, and I was rather proud of him!

The grammar errors, I really need to fix those! I'm sorry they annoyed you, I am going to edit it!

An even happier Hufflepuff,

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Review #9, by CloakAuror9Task One Challenge: Reclaiming the Sword of Godric Gryffindor

5th March 2013:

Oh my, this is really good! I can't believe I haven't read this before. All the characters are in canon and there's just so much minor details in it that make the story all the more interesting. The fact that Luna brings a Sleeping Draught around made me smile and frown at the same time; I found it strange but then again Luna is all about strange! And I could so easily imagine Ginny giving Neville a lecture like that! It certainly gave Neville a boost of courage. Well done on the characterisation of the characters. ♥

I've seen the previous reviewers say the same thing so I won't specify it so much, but I did spot more than a couple of comma and full stop misplacement. It didn't take a lot away from the story, but it's still worth fixing up. :)

Overall, a lovely, well-written one-shot that totally made my night! Everything worked so well and it was just a really pleasant read. I'm glad I got the opportunity to read this.


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Review #10, by CloakAuror9Chains of Bronze: The Beginning

4th March 2013:
Whoa. That was a bit intense! I wasn't expecting any of that, especially her being pregnant. That...whoa, that rattled me a bit.

I found Emylina's character portrayal as quite deceiving throughout the story. Since at the start, I had no clue what on Earth was happening and why she was tied up like that, I didn't really feel all that bad to her since I thought she had really done something terrible. I thought maybe that she deserved getting the cruciatus curse, but as I read the rest of the chapter I just felt so horrible for her! My gosh, she did not deserve not Mr. Emylina's Father! That is so unfair to her and just so cruel of him. I'm so glad James came into view before she completely lost consciousness or something worse happened to her.

I thought the story was good in terms of an overall idea and I especially love the unique idea of having them be almost isolated from the rest of the Wizarding World. Emylina's family did seem very much like a the rulers of their village.

I did pick up on a few things while I was reading the story though and I thought I might mention them as they did they away a bit from the story. For a start, I found your story a little bit too fast-paced. It might just be because of the character being in great distress, as anyone else would be if they were tied up to a metal bar, but I felt like I wasn't given enough time to absorb what I had read until the end. Another one is that when it came to the whole Crucio experience, I felt that Emylina's pain was a bit distant. I think you were focusing too hard on describing the sensation of the pain, so maybe you should read back and see if you can do anything to make it flow much easier. And finally, it irked me how the phrase 'the man' was repeatedly used to name James, so much so that it was beginning to feel like James was an inanimate object. So yeah, that's it, you don't have to change anything and they were really just suggestions, I hope I didn't offend you in any way -I only meant to help. Though, I do apologise if I said anything that hurt your feelings.

Overall, I enjoyed reading the story and I'm definitely going to come back to check out the next chapter! For now, great job with the story! Keep up the great job! ♥


Author's Response: Hey Izzy! Im glad you reviewed =)

Sorry for the fast paced. It was just the prologue so it seemed better for the story to move along so I could get it where I want it to be :P

Im glad you liked it though! I'll try to add more emotion to Emy going through the Crucio :D It doesn affect her later but we see that in other chapters.

Glad you liked it and thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by CloakAuror9Promises: Chapter One

4th March 2013:
Hi! I saw you signed up for the Gryffindor-Slytherin review challenge, so I thought I might as well drop by and score some points. Okay, when you said that the story was based off a rumour you found on the internet, I had this idea in the back of my brain that it was probably about James and Lily's second child. So you know, I was a bit shocked on how right that idea was at the end of the story. But the one I read was about Lily making Severus the godfather of the second child, so I was a bit nervous that somewhere, halfway through Lily would say to James that she's not only pregnant but also that she wants Severus to be the godfather. I'm kind of glad that didn't happen. :P

Anyway, enough chit-chat from me. The idea of James and Lily being cooped up in their house for such a long time depressed me. I'm a very indoorsy person, but I still like the idea of getting some fresh air and having a nice walk around the neighbourhood every once in a while. It must've been really awful for them and, not only that, their friends were also fighting the war! The anxiety and depression the two of them experienced must've been horrible.

I realised that when you started telling us about how the two of them reacted to Fabian and Gideon's death, though I always imagined them hugging and comforting each other everytime they got the news of their friends' death. But I think James spacing himself out like that is very James-y and, in my opinion, deep down James probably partly blamed himself for the deaths of the two. Hmmm.

And Bathilda! I had never given her character much thought until now. I've always imagined her as a cold and bitter old woman, but she's quickly changing into a much friendlier and warmer character. I love her dialogues! My two favourite would have to be when she says that they are all just children fighting wars...that was just so simple and yet powerful. And the second one is about how when Harry was born, a lioness was born inside Lily. It can't get any better than that, can it?

Oh my gosh, someone help me handle the feels. I can't take this. No matter how many times I read their death scenes, canon or non-canon, I always end up bawling. I just can't. Oh my gosh.

*ten minutes later*

Okay, I'm done crying. This was a really well-written one-shot! The emotions combined with the chilling descriptions in the story was just amazing, especially when it came to Voldemort's arrival. Your word choices struck to me as simple yet powerful, even though I haven't got a clue as to why. And you did a fantastic job making the whole story so realistic! I did see a couple or so sentences were words were repeated twice and I did have to re-read some of the bits towards the end, but that was probably just because of my blurry eyesight. Anyway, I absolutely enjoyed reading this sad tale of yours, it really made me wonder how James would've reacted once Lily's secret was revealed to him! Fantastic job. ♥


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Review #12, by CloakAuror9Before They Fall: No More Secrets

3rd March 2013:
Hello! I'm *finally* here after months of saying that I'll catch up with the story soon. Ugh. School has really kept me away from the internet this past few months, I'm glad that we have this Gryffindor-Slytherin review battle going on. It's encouraging me to keep my reviews on track. :P

That first bit of the chapter was absolutely amazing! I love how it set the mood of the chapter instantly, BAM -just like that. I found myself wanting to read more about it and I was honestly considering skimming the chapter just to read about Sirius's little motorbike-car race first before reading the rest of the story. Don't worry, I didn't and I'm glad because if I did I would've probably missed out on all the juicy (or should I say bloody) bits about Remus.

Oh. My. Gosh. Your vivid descriptions about how Remus looked like made me feel both sick and happy! Sick because I'm not a great fan of blood pouring out of people's body and happy because your descriptions were just so amazing! I easily imagined Remus lying there on a camp bed, losing a lot of blood (not that there's anything happy about that). I felt really bad for Remus, though! He unconsciously hurt himself just like that and the worst thing is that he probably did this more than a few times during his life. I'm glad that James, Peter and Sirius are there for him through thick and thin, though. See, that's one thing about Before They Fall, as much as I love so many other James/Lily stories, I think that your one of the few writers I've seen write the Marauder's friendship SO SO well.

Speaking of friendships, I just love that Snape appeared in this chapter. The fact that he went out of his way to give Lily a photograph of her family when he simply could've simply owled it to her, just shows how much he really was concerned about Lily. I thought that was very sweet of him.

Also, absolutely loved the fact that you didn't just sit Sirius and the others around in a circle as he talked about what happened that night, instead you brought us the flashbacks! I just, wow. I'm blown away. I almost felt like I was a bystander in the accident! The flashing of the lights, the scream, the roaring of the's just all so realistic, you know?

Lily is just so kind and compassionate, she just can't blame Sirius, or anybody else, for her parents' deaths. I always love that side of her! In my opinion, some authors focus too much on her feisty-ness and just end up forgetting about how kind Lily is. So, it put a smile to my face when I read that bit! Though that smile quickly vanished as I really thought that James was going to strangle Sirius after he told them the whole story about Lily's parents. He was just so terribly angry at Sirius! My heart must've been beating three times than normal while I was reading that section. I was fearing for Sirius life more than I probably was with Remus! :x

Overall, this chapter just overwhelms me but not in a bad way. It is jam-packed with emotions, you know? I think this is probably my favourite chapter by far! It shows so much from the loyalty of the Marauders to Severus's barely-there friendship with Lily. A very well-written chapter that is full of dynamic imagery. The only thing that bothered me a bit while I was reading was that I felt that the flow was a bit choppy. I don't really blame you though, from the shrieking shack to the girl's dormitories to the quidditch tryouts to the flashback, there was just really a lot of things going on! But I absolutely enjoyed this! ♥

I don't even know how I managed to go for months without reading Before They Fall. I must've been out of my mind, really. I promise (and I'll keep this one) to try and catch up with the story from now on, with or without a review challenge. I do apologise for taking forever with this review though, since I'm not 13 chapters behind. :

Amazing as always,

Author's Response: Izzy!! You have no idea how excited I was when I saw you here!

Yay for Gryffindor Slytherin battle!!

Hahhahah I'm very happy you didn't skim. I'm so happy that the descriptions felt really alive in this. I wanted the gritty sort of feel to really be present, and it makes me happy that it made you a bit uncomfortable :P.

You saying that you like how I write the Marauders friendship is absolutely one of the best compliments. They mean a lot to me, so making sure that it isn't just about Lily and James or just about Sirius and Belle is really important. The friendships deserves just as much attention as the romances.

Yes! Snape appeared! I really wanted to make sure that just because I didn't like Severus, I wasn't ignoring him. It isn't a huge thing, but it was still a really important thing for Lily.

I'm so happy that you liked Lily's compassion. I think that if she would have let herself, she could have blamed Sirius. But she knew that it wasn't his fault, and so much of her was busy thinking it was hers. I agree about people focusing too much on her fiesty-ness. Sure, she could stick up for herself, but that wasn't her personality. We learn from Remus that she was an incredibly kind person. Not that she was a fiery red head every chance she got. I'm really happy that you like her more caring nature in this ♥ actually, I'm just really happy in general at your entire review. You've turned me into a mushy mess and I feel like my sentences are probably making no sense. haha.

I agree about the choppiness of this chapter. I played with it a few different times, but I ended up decided leaving all the content and being okay with it not being my most smooth chapter was a fair trade. The Quidditch tryouts I wasn't crazy about, just because they felt boring, but then I didn't want to ignore them because they would be a big deal to the group, especially James.

I'm so happy that you still enjoyed this though. I just want to hug you and squeeze you. Can you feel my internet huggles from here?!

Thank you so much for stopping by, Izzy ♥ I hope that you'll get time to come by again! I've missed seeing your amazing reviews!

♥ Jami

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Review #13, by CloakAuror9Wanted: Wanted

17th February 2013:
I don't know what to say. This is just a really amazing and wonderful *fluffy* one-shot. :D And the fact that my name is up there in the author's I feel so special, right now. All thanks to you. ♥

Fluff-wise, I'm pretty sure you hit the perfect mark in the story. There's just an overload (in a good way) of fluff in the story! I love how you gave us a flashback of Percy proposing to her. I was grinning so much at that bit (and throughout the rest of the story) that my cheeks hurt by the end of it. I completely love the story!

My favourite bit of the story though is this:
"And this close I can count all the freckles on her cheeks, see the flecks of green in her eyes, and hear her shallow breathing. And my heart swells with the amount of love I have for her..."

I couldn't even breathe properly anymore because I was just getting all the fluff feels in that part. Ugh. You are an amazing writer, thank you so so so much for writing this! You honestly have no idea how much you made my day (and probably my life) with this amazing, fluffy one-shot. ♥ ♥

This is so definitely (and obviously) going into my favourites. Something I'm sure will get my spirits back right up if they are ever down. Again, thank you so much for writing this! :D

~Izzy ♥

PS: I'm very excited to read the next chapter of Break The Night! ;)

Author's Response: IZZY!! HEY!!

Aww, you are special Izzy!! Shucks *hugs* :D
I just can't comprehend right now how amazing of a review this is. And how amazing you are. ♥

Again, I just don't know what to say. I'm just SO glad that you love it!! :D And coming from you, the person who inspired me to write it, is just such a major compliment. :)

OMGOD. That is probably the best para of a review I've ever received. I hope you know that. And right now, I just feel so... loved. And it feels so good. Coming from a person who is quite an introvert, socially speaking, and would rather spend her time reading/writing instead of going to that party, and really never gets appreciated all that much for what I do, it means a lot that someone, even though you probably live halfway across the world, loves me, and a reflection of me. And that's not a feeling I get a lot, so thank you. For everything. You are amazing. And right now I just want to give you such a big hug ;)

No Izzy, thank you so much for inspiring me to write this, and for reading this. Ugh. I think I'm going to cry.

Anyway, just ugh. THANK YOU *supermassivehug*

- Abhi

P.S. Now I shall be completely motivated to get it finished and in the queue by the end of the week ;)

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Review #14, by CloakAuror9The Three Generations: Sorting Ceremony: Scorpius Malfoy

31st January 2013:
Scorpius. ♥ This was shorter than the rest but this is definitely the cutest. I love the relationship between Scorpius and Astoria and how she mentions that she was a Hufflepuff so Scorpius shouldn't worry. In a way, he kind of reminded of Albus when he was worrying over what house he was going to be sorted in.

Anyway, it's been a fun three-chapter journey! I think what I learnt from your story is that we shouldn't judge someone just because of their past. Astoria and Scorpius's ancestors were Slytherins but that didn't mean that they were going to be Slytherins too. I loved the story and I had so much fun reading them! Amazing job, thank you for writing this! :D ♥


100th review out of 100


Author's Response: hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing this one as well.

I am glad you found this cute, I adore Scorpius too xD Its good to know that you liked my portrayal of Scorpius' relationship with Astoria.

Aw I am so pleased to know that you liked all the three chapters, and that you managed to learn something from this little short story collection. I always believe that people shouldn't be judged on the basis of their pasts either!

Thanks again for all your awesome reviews, and congrats on reaching 100 reviews!

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Review #15, by CloakAuror9The Three Generations: Sorting Ceremony: Astoria Greengrass

31st January 2013:
Ooh! That was a definitely nice surprise! Astoria Greengrass as a Hufflepuff is something that I've never read before, though I think it would suit her since she seemed really sweet and nice. She even bothered to help the other girl get off the boat! I like your characterisation of her.

I love the fact that you're giving her your own identity. And it's not like anyone can hold you for it because the books doesn't say anything about what house she was sorted in, a lot of us just assume that she was a Slytherin.

I'll admit that this chapter didn't flow as good as the previous one for me but I think that's just because this was longer than the other on what with the boat scene and all. Still a great job though! :D


99th review out of 100

Author's Response: Thank you once again for reading and reviewing this!

Astoria was always a Hufflepuff in my head canon so I wanted to write her as one in this story. I always think that Draco needed that balance in his life. I am glad to know that you liked my characterisation of her.

Yep, I was a little worried about canon-nitpickers would bash me for giving her my own identity, but I figured I was safe since the books dont exactly tell us that she was a Slytherin.

I am sorry that this didn't flow as good as the previous one for you, but yeah that'd probably be because of the boat scene. I just wanted to make it a little different than the previous one, and not focus on the sorting only.

Thanks a lot for your lovely comments!

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Review #16, by CloakAuror9The Three Generations: Sorting Ceremony: Narcissa Black

31st January 2013:
This is the second time I've read a story by you about Narcissa and you have a talent when it comes to her characterisation, even when it comes in the form of her eleven year old self. I love how she kept on going about acting prim and proper. It makes you realise just how much she was trained by her parents to act this way!

From the very start, it's obvious that she's one that likes to keep the peace in her family. She didn't want to do anything that could possibly upset her parents or her cousins during her time at Hogwarts. I think that's one of the reasons as to why she is such a great mother to Draco!

Amazing job with the writing! Everything flowed so well and I just enjoyed it! :D


98th review out of 100

Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing this one, its one of my personal favourites ;)

I am glad that you like my characterisation of Narcissa, be it her eleven year old self, or her motherly self xD I always believed that pureblood parents really train their children in specific ways and I tried to show that here too, so I am happy you liked it =)

You have described her very aptly, that's exactly how she is! I am glad that you could understand her character from this little story so well.

Thanks a lot for your wonderful review!

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Review #17, by CloakAuror9I'll Be Loving You (Forever): I'll Be Loving You (Forever)

31st January 2013:
Aww! This was such a sweet one-shot! I've always thought that James proposed right after graduation not before it, but it's not like there's anything wrong with that. We all know that they get married and have Harry in the end anyway, that's what's important!

I love how you James's nervousness was present throughout the whole story. I think it would be very much like him and to ramble like that, I wasn't even surprised. I think, in a way, he was just afraid of getting rejected by Lily once more so he starts rambling to really persuade her. I'm glad Lily said yes because I cannot even imagine the thought of James not ending up with Lily. It's just a dark place.

Anyway, you wrote the story really well! I love your characterisation of both James and Lily! Great job! ♥


97th review out of 100

Author's Response: Surprise reviews MAKE MY DAY, and this one's even better because it's on a piece that's fairly new and hasn't had many reads yet! So THANK YOU! ♥

Haha! Before this little plunny popped into my head, I hadn't really thought about when James proposed before. But you're right, it really doesn't matter because we all know what happens anyway! XD

I completely agree that somewhere deep in his subconscious, James is terrified of Lily rejecting him again. And though he likes to portray the macho facade (at least most of the time), I think he WOULD have been nervous and rambling. Glad to see that you agree!!

Haha! James without Lily is a dark place indeed! :(

Thank you SO MUCH for this amazing, surprise review! ♥

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Review #18, by CloakAuror9Circumstance: Circumstance

31st January 2013:
Yes, everyone needs their extreme dose of angst once in a while. I just never thought mind would come in this wonderful form of a Snilly one-shot. James/Lily is my OTP so I tend to avoid most Snape/Lily fics because I just feel like acid is being pushed down my throat. Okay, maybe I exaggerated the whole acid down my throat thing but you get the idea.

I don't necessarily agree with the Lily being a dead mother type of thing, but I really liked your Lily here. She's definitely a lot more closer to Snape than most Snilly fics I've read (which isn't a lot, mind you.) :P I'm not a big fan of Snape even though I am a Slytherin myself but I thought you did a great job depicting him here!

Also, I really loved this bit of the story: "His Lily was a wild flame, a girl that refused to be anything, for anyone. She fought against convention as long as she could. He doesn't blame her finally for caving in." I don't know...I think it's just perfect and it really stood out to me! ♥

Great job! I love the way you depicted Snape/Lily with a lot of angst. :D


96th review out of 100

Author's Response: hey! thank you for leaving a review!

I'm glad I could sweeten the acid with this extra portion of angst! It is quite encouraging when even readers who dislike Snape/Lily can find something in my story.

You are probably right about Lily. Personally, I've only read Lilys that were the perfect teenager/girlfriend/mother and therefore felt the need to give her a different spin. I suspect that there are stories out there that have created exciting, rounded Lily characters (that is what fanfic is for, after all!), but I just haven't come accross any as of yet. In fact, I was reacting more to what I got from the books.

You picked one of my favourite parts of the story! I'm glad it comes accross as I meant it :D

Thank you, again, for the review!
Cheers and happy reading :)

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Review #19, by CloakAuror9Diamonds into Coal: Salazar's Last Stand

31st January 2013:
Hello! (:

I love it when the Founders (or at least three of them) started discussing the possible optional subjects that the Hogwarts students could take and giving their reasoning behind each one. I particularly liked the suggestion of Divination by Rowena and her reason behind it. And oh my gosh, Salazar! You ruined it! I was really keen to see what Helga's thought were on having Muggle studies as an optional subject.

Rowena is taking such...harsh actions, isn't she? Confronting Edeline like that, I thought she would want to postpone the wedding date or something similar to that. I wasn't expecting her to cancel the entire wedding. I'm glad Venn was out hunting and got spared from Rowena. Sheesh. At this point, I don't even know who dislike more! Rowena or Salazar? Though, I'll admit that I was a bit sad when the two mothers started crying. The two of them just want nothing more but the best for their children. :

Ahh! ♥ Venn finally admits his true feelings for Helena! Well, at least one good thing came out of the chapter. Gah, this is like a roller coaster of emotions really, only it's not so bad.

Oh dear, trouble is brewing between the mother and the daughter. I kind of feel bad for Helena's dad, he's completely torn between the two women. What is Rowena doing, honestly? Doesn't she see how much Helena and Venn love each other? That Venn has no evil intentions. Gah. Don't do this, Rowena.

Anyway, I've finally caught up with the story once more! Yes! Amazing chapter once again! I can't wait to read the next one seeing as things are definitely starting to pick-up the pace. ♥


95th review out of 100

Author's Response: Hi again, Izzy! Uh-oh, you're all caught up :)

I'm glad you liked the little detour back to traditional Founders' work with the discussion of optional courses. It's also great that you felt like they fit in terms of who proposed them, because I tried to make that work.

Rowena is getting sort of desperate. She doesn't like that Venn and her daughter are so close, and her distrust of Salazar has made her somewhat paranoid and erratic. She saw going straight to Edeline as her best possible solution, and now she's very frustrated and probably feeling a little helpless about things. I'm glad you feel competing demands between disliking Salazar and disliking Rowena, because that's exactly what I was going for in this section of the story.

A reviewer brought up that Venn's behavior seemed really back-and-forth and that they wanted to see more in terms of his explanation of his feelings, so that people can get a better sense of where the conflict comes from and how he really feels about Helena. I hope this chapter provided some of that.

Yeah, Witter gets the short end of the stick here. He'll continue to be a part of managing the conflict between mother and daughter, as will Helga, who you'll see again very soon.

The next chapter will be posted in mid-February, so keep an eye out for it :)

Thanks again for another fantastic review!


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Review #20, by CloakAuror9You Won't Forget: I

31st January 2013:
I found the style of writing really interesting! I did find it confusing in the first and second paragraph though, I thought the parts of you sentences got cut-off or something then I quickly realised that it wasn't. :P

I love your characterisation of both Helga and Salazar! I also liked the way you didn't just focus the attention on just the two of them but also included their spouses in the story.

I've never read a Helga/Salazar before but this is really really good! Your descriptions were amazing too, the language you used fit the Founders Era and this is just a well done story overall. Great job! ♥


94th review out of 100

Author's Response: Hi Izzy, and thanks for the review! I rarely get random reviews, so this one is extra special :) I really appreciate your thoughts!

I was trying out something new with the style, and I really had no idea how it would go over with readers. I meant to have Salazar's and Helga's thoughts intertwine and complete each other, and the cutting off in the middle of sentences was just the way it flowed for me. I'm really glad you found it interesting.

I'm glad you like Helga and Salazar! This is one of several stories I've written about them, and I just love writing them :) And I wanted to show their spouses to give an idea of the reality of their situation, and to add a little angst maybe? I've never written angst before; this is a "first-attempt" story in a lot of areas :)

Thanks again for the awesome review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and I appreciate your time so much :)


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Review #21, by CloakAuror9Bonfire Night: Bonfire Night

31st January 2013:
Ooh! This is an inteeresting one-shot! I've always wondered what happened after James and Lily's death in Godric's Hollow and to see it through Minerva's eyes just made it all the more interesting.

You did a really great job characterising her. She was sad but she still maintained that air of sternness around her, never letting her guard down. Whens she started talking about she wanted to avenge the Potter's death and how angry she was at Sirius I wanted to jump into the story and just tell her the truth. It was all Peter, not Sirius! Gah, too bad they only discover the truth twelve years from then.

One thing that bothered me was how Minerva made it sound like James and Lily were saints. I know that one of the reasons why she didn't mention any of their faults is because it was their funeral, but anyway that was just a thought of mine. Don't mind it too much.

I really liked this one-shot! ♥ Great job!


93rd review out of 100

Author's Response: Thanks Izzy for your kind review, I'm glad you liked the story. One of the hardest things about writing it was the writing the harsh things about Sirius but not to have included it would have been wrong.

I see what you say about me making James and Lily seem like saints but as you said it was their funeral, and I've never been to a funeral where people have mentioned faults.

Thanks again

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Review #22, by CloakAuror9Casualties of War: Casualties of War

31st January 2013:
Uhm, wow. I'm speechless. I don't even know what to say other than this is absolutely beautiful. I love how each person had their own section that just focused on them. There were no other Marauders involved, it was just all about them.

Lily and James's section made me smile so much. And in my opinion, their parts are so much more warmer and lighter than the rest. I really love you didn't make the two of them 'saints' as some authors might do. You still took the time to mention that they are not faultless and they are only perfect in their own way.

I really like Remus's bit, it's my second favourite out of all the five. I like you didn't focus his section on his werewolf issue (I feel like saying 'werewolf issue' makes me sound ignorant. IDK.) and instead focused it on his memorable memories with his friends and family. I think you pretty much got his character really well. It would be so like Remus to reminisce those days.

Sirius! I absolutely love his part. Omg. Can you's just absolutely perfect, okay? Like seriously. I just love it. I love him ♥. I agree with you, I don't think we can exactly understand Sirius's pain when he lost James and Lily. It's must've been so tough for him and to think that he was sent in Azkaban for twelve years. Sometimes, I wonder why JKR killed him. It's just so unfair. :'(

Anyway, this is my favourite part out of the whole one-shot. I think you got Sirius's character so spot-on in this paragraph: "He'd spiral out of control like a tornado, and he'd be sure to take you along for the ride. But just as quickly as it came, his mood would pass and you'd be left with this boy... this perfectly incredible boy who could make you feel like you'd smile forever.

You did Peter justice, you really did. I've always been interested in his character and I feel like his section explained a lot of things to me. I've never hated Peter, believe it or not, only dislike him and I don't know why. I cannot just bring myself to hate him.

Gah. Jami, this is an absolutely amazing one-shot! I love everything about it! I did notice one teeny typo though. At the end of James's section it says "But now, he's just a casually of war."Didn't you mean casualty? Don't mind this if it's already been pointed out to you. :P I wish I could write as fantastic as you do! ♥


92nd review out of 100

Author's Response: Izzy ♥

I loved writing Lily and James's sections. In a lot of way I think their story is the least sad of the group. They died so young, but they didn't have to suffer the way their best friends did. Sirius spent most of his life imprisoned for two murders he would never commit; Remus spent just as long believing something untrue and fighting with his own self loathing and having to remember what his life was once like... having all of his friends with him every month; Peter destroyed every single thing he ever had and spent the rest of his life as a rat, and finally killed himself... I mean, it's all just so sad. James and Lily at least spent the last few years of their life with their friends still whole. They had each other, and they died painlessly. They didn't suffer. And gah.. now I'm just getting feelsy again. hahhaa.

Ahh I'm so happy you liked that paragraph. Honestly, I was bawling at that point. I was just so so sad that they were all taken from me and and :(. Sirius :(.

I was worried about Peter's. We've made peace, the two of us, with what he did... but it was still a challenge to show why is story was sad too.

Ahhh! no one has mentioned that!! Thank you, that's one of those placed I REALLY don't want an error. It's been fixed now ♥

Izzy, thank you so much for this review. You have no idea how much it's brightened my entire week ♥

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Review #23, by CloakAuror9A Brief Description on Life as a Ghoul: My Long Awaited Opportunity

31st January 2013:
Ooh! This was a really cool idea! I've never read anything about a Ghoul before but I could easily tell that this is probably one of the best that I'm ever going to read. I thought the ghoul wanting to be an actor was a really funny and neat idea. And how pretending to be Ron was his big break, that was just really cool. He sounded such a cool and awesome ghoul, I wonder why the books made him look so bad?!

Also, I thought your characterisation of everyone was spot on, especially Hermione. She sounded very much like Hermione and I could easily imagine her saying those things! Wonderful job! ♥


91st review out of 100

Author's Response: Hey, thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! Yeah I never thought much aboiut the ghoul, until this story appeared to me in the middle of the night! And I figured that him being an actor would fit, so I just made him become one! And I guess the books made him look bad, as they found his wailing annoying, when he in fact thought it was marvellous! Yay the characterisation was good, and I'm glad that you thought Hermione was good, as she often changes a lot in fan fiction so it was important to keep it original! Thanks so much again, Kiana :D

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Review #24, by CloakAuror9All that matters: All that Matters

31st January 2013:
The first I did after I finished reading your story? Let out a relieved sigh! I didn't even realise I held my breath until the end. I really thought James was going to find Lily stabbed or something equally horrendous when he saw the blood. This was a really clever idea that, no doubt, has its readers at the edge of their seats. :P

The imagery was beautiful! You do well with dark, angsty descriptions, I think. I almost felt like I was walking alongside James and the owl that swooped down at him made me jump a bit too. Hahahha.

The element of surprise, the well-written chapter and just everything about this is perfect! A really great job! ♥


90th review out of 100

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Review #25, by CloakAuror9Bubbles: Bath time

31st January 2013:
Ooh! What a nice Louis Weasley story you got here! I love the concept of Louis being fascinated by bubbles. When I was three, I was rather afraid of bubbles if anything and even now, I still dislike them.

I thought you characterised Louis really well and the thoughts of his young mind were very spot on. They weren't too babyish or too serious, just perfect someone in his age.

Victoire kind of reminded me of myself as I used to do that to my younger brother too! Though, I don't exactly get him giving the cat a bath or anything as mean as that!

This was a a nice happy story and I enjoyed reading it! I was smiling all the way through! Great job! ♥


87th review out of 100

Author's Response: Aw, but bubbles are cool! (Except when they pop against your face and you get soapy water in your eye, but that's a different matter).

Victoire is kind of based off the things I used to do to my brother, I think it must be an older-sibling obligation. It's part of our contract.

I was smiling the whole way through your review, so thank you :)

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