A little bit of reviewing is needed in respect of punctuation and grammar, but only a few simple (easily correctable) mistakes have been made!
So far, I'm really enjoying this story. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
If I could make one suggestion, it would be that you keep the chapter titles all around the same length (ex. 1. Remembering 2. Times Change).
I really want to see where this plot goes. It seems really interesting so far! I cannot wait to read more! Report Review
The work needs revising. It is incredibly difficult to read this story - purely because of the grammar. You have a very interesting plot started, but I cannot deal with the technical problems in this writing.
I think the most important piece of information I could give the writer is differences of "your" and "there".
"Your," indicates ownership (ex. I found your wand).
"You're," is a shortened form of "you are," (ex. you're my best friend).
"There," indicates a place (ex. look over there).
"Their," indicates ownership (ex. they lost their keys).
"They're," is a shortened form of "they are," (ex. they're having fun). Report Review
Wow. And I read this all in the span of two days. I am sincerely looking forward to the next chapter in this work.Author's Response: Hahah I'm glad you are enjoying it! The next chapter will be up in a few days, I hope. Things might be a little slow because I'm trying to work a job in the city as well as school so it's a little messy, but the update should be quick enough! Again, thank you so much for reading and I hope you continue with me until the end. (: Report Review
I have just recently started reading this story, and I love it.
There are very few mistakes, but the one small detail I'd like to point out is the use of the world "vile".
"Vile," means foul or disgusting.
"Vial," is a small container.
That was actually one of the only boldly noticeable mistakes in the writing.Author's Response: Oh gosh, that's embarrassing. Well, I will have to go back and fix that! Thank you so much for pointing that out, and for reading and reviewing, Jeanie! (: It's great that you're enjoying it so far, and I hope that you do so! Report Review
Every chapter of this story is outstanding, and I wait anxiously for the next one. Report Review
woah woah woah woah woah woah woah.
I need the next chapter. Oh my goodness. Is this a letter from the murderers cursed to look like her mother's writing? MY MINDAuthor's Response: xD Haha! Don't worry, I'm working on the next chapter now! Thank you! Report Review
I love this story so much, and I'm always eagerly anticipating the next chapter. I can't wait to see where this story goes.
Your writing is captivating. Report Review
I'm really enjoying this story so far, and I can't wait for the next chapter!
You're a fantastic writer! Keep up all the great work! Report Review
How many chapters are there going to be in this? (:Author's Response: This one's over but the sequel is out- Their Reason To Live- check it out! :) Report Review
ITS OVER AND I'M BAWLING MY EYES OUT WHY MUST IT END.
You are such an awesome author; I will be following your account for any future work. You truly are outstanding, and I love you.
JEANIE OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE LAST TIME I GET TO SIGN A REVIEW FOR THIS STORY BRB CRYINGAuthor's Response: Ahh thank you so so much, jeanie :') I love you to.
Ill be posting my new story's chapter soon so you have something to look out for! ;) x Report Review
Just started reading this one today, and it's written really well! Grammar, spelling, and descriptions are all there.
However, I'm speculating that you're younger than most writers because the characters are acting much like twelve to fifteen-year-olds in certain situations (ex. breaking out into hysterical laughter, or turning somebody else into a clown for amusement). This is common in a lot of young writers' works, and it's understandable because most young people think that way, but twenty-year-old men and women don't act like that very often whatsoever.
I am thoroughly enjoying this so far, though. I don't know how much writing experience you have, but this is rather impressive! Keep up the good work; I look forward to reading the rest of this fanficiton.(:Author's Response: Yes, your speculation is correct, I am younger than most writers on this website. I guess I couldn't have made it more obvious with some of things I've written in this fanfic. To be honest, this is my first time writing fanfics, I had just started last year, and I'm still trying to work on the little kinks of this story as well as my other ones. However, I am delighted to hear that you enjoyed reading this fanfiction so far and I hope to see you again. Thank you for the review! I really appreciate it! Thanks for the crit, too! It will help me improve my future chapters. ^_^ Report Review
I have been thoroughly enjoying this story, and I am looking forward to the next chapter. (:Author's Response: :) Thank you very much! Report Review
ITS OVER AND IM CRYING I JUST AHH YOU ARE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AUTHOR. Can't wait for the epilogue. This will forever be one of my favourite fanfictions.Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you :"") x Report Review
Well, that escalated quickly.
Nicely written, though, I look forward to the next chapter.Author's Response: Thanks again Jeanie! xo Report Review
aWEI aty;skjdh falksdh fklasjdfaskdjfaklsd fhlaksdj f
WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?
a) You're a mad writing genius.
b) Dramoine > life.
c) All of the above.
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS C, ALL OF THE ABOVE.
I cannot wait for the next chapter; you are outstanding, and this will always be one of my favourite fanfictions ever.Author's Response: AOURIFNERUINGUIRETN TO YOU TOO
hahah thank you :) xx Report Review
I really look forward to your next chapter.
You're a talented writer; keep it up!Author's Response: Thank you so much for saying that and reviewing and reading! :) Report Review
Okay so I just had to point this out because it was bothering me, but Nargles aren't small, clever creatures capable of human speech. They're tiny, invisible insect-like creatures that cause peoples' brains to go fuzzy, rendering all thought useless.
I shouldn't know this, and not a lot of people do, but that's what I spend my days learning. #nerdlyfe
I've just read this today, and so far, it looks really good. Can't wait to see where you go with this!Author's Response: Thanks for reading and taking the time to review!
I get your point on the Nargles. I just figured that if she thinks they could steal her things (Order of the Phoenix), she'd think they're a devious sort of creature. Luna believes in a lot of things, maybe she'd think they'd understand if she spoke to them? I dunno, that's just my mindset on her character. Report Review
Fascinated with this story! I cannot wait for the next chapter. Keep up the incredible writing.Author's Response: Thank you Jeanie! xo Report Review
I've really been enjoying this fanfiction so far; I look forward to seeing how it progresses!
You really are a talented writer. Keep up the good work.Author's Response: Thank you so very much for saying that and reviewing! :) Report Review
http ://meme generator .net/ instance/ 26735447
^^My exact thoughts. Minus the spaces. Aside from minor characterization details, I'm really loving the story so far. Report Review
I've thoroughly enjoyed this fanfiction up to this point! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, I'm so glad you are enjoying it! Report Review
I LOVE THIS. Just found it tonight, and it's awesome.
Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you! I'll have it up soon! Report Review
Heartbreaking chapter, but honestly, I am just really head-over-heels for Draco. Really. That's the only thing that I can say. If a guy actually did all of that for me, I don't know if I could yell at him... ever.
The wait for this chapter was well worth it, and I look forward to the next. Report Review
BEFORE EVERYTHING BLACKED OUT?? HOLY OH MY YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME IM DYING AGHARUE AH SLDH F KJLHR SIADH ALKJ CLIFFHANGER WHAT
Okay. Now that I've gotten that out, I would just like to say that your writing is outstanding, and I love everything about it. There were a few small grammar/spelling errors, but it's nothing that a quick review wouldn't fix. :)
You are amazing. And I love you. And I can't wait for the next chapter.Author's Response: Hahhaha sorry
Thank you so so much! And i haven't had time to review my stories so Ill be fixing mistakes only after my exams when i have a lot of time on my hands :/
thank you and i love you too ^^ Report Review
I've just read this, and I was getting so into it, AND NOW IT'S ON A CLIFFHANGER AND GAHH.
Okay, so I love this story. It's beautiful. It's so wonderful that I'm losing myself in the emotions of the characters.
Your writing is fantastic, but I just had to point out a few small grammatical errors:
1. Your and you're.
Your - as a possessive (ex. "Get your shoes,")
You're - as in you are (ex. "You're beautiful,")
2. It's and its.
Its - as a possessive.
It's - as in it is.
3. LAST ONE . Commas being used in a quotation.
Commas are used at the end of a quotation if the thought is unfinished, if the thought is continued later in the paragraph, or if something like "He said" follows the quotation.
They are also used around an interjection in the thought (ex. a name).
"Please, Hermione, you have to believe me,"
Aside from those three things, I LOVE THIS OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS YOU ARE PERFECT.
It feels like I AM Hermione... good lord, I have no life.
Can't wait for another chapter.
Jeanie Report Review
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