Reading Reviews From Member: Gabriella Hunter
  
666 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Gabriella HunterSirrah Malfoy: Introduction

22nd September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this swap on you with all the power of the universe! Be afraid! Muahahahahha.

Or not.

So, I've read a lot of stories with Scorpius having a twin but I think Sirrah is absolutely hilarious. She's got a lot of spunk and I think that she's a very original character, I'll probably have to stop by again for the first real chapter just to see what else she has to say. I do wonder though...was she talking to the reader or writing in her diary? I'm a little confused there but it gave me a great opportunity to be in her head. The fact that she makes her own clothes and has such a deep family history, just makes her all the more fascinating for me. It's really not what you would have been expecting out of Draco Malfoy's daughter, that's for sure.

I liked the little hints of family dynamics you worked into this chapter though. I'm able to see that Draco isn't the most attentive father and Pureblood lifestyles are still heavily influenced, though I'm glad that he doesn't carry such a strong hatred for Muggles anymore. At least, I hope not. I feel bad for Sirrah though, never really getting the attention she needs from her father but I'm sure that you're going to talk about that later so it was a nice bit of foreshadowing. :D

I really think that this was a good start and if you ever want another review, you can just find me in my review thread. I always reserve slots after the first three are filled so don't be shy about stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi! You know, I've never actually read or seen any stories where Scorpius has a twin... But when I first started writing this (ages ago) I stayed away from anything Next Gen just so it wouldn't influence my story. I wanted her to be very original and spunky and kinda out there. I do hope you stop by again to check out the next chapter and maybe further chapters...

In this chapter, and it kind of continues in the other chapters, she's basically speaking to the reader. There was more of this in this chapter, just because it's introducing her to the reader, it is toned done a bit in future chapters. But yeah, I didn't want her to be something you'd expect, I kinda wanted her to have some drive and a goal of her own since she sees herself so differently from her family.

I do include quite a few pureblood snipes on her family and purebloods in general. And I try to keep her family to the pureblood code, if you will. The dynamics haven't really changed, but Draco does hate the muggles less, I think, enough to want to understand them at least so that he knows what they're about. If that even made sense. He's definitely not the most attentive father to Sirrah, although not the same for Scorpius, he is very attentive of him. I guess all in all, he really had no idea how to raise a girl. Much is mentioned and elaborated later. It's a long story, if you couldn't tell.

Thank you so much for this review swap. I will get on yours stat.

Nix


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Review #27, by Gabriella HunterChicks Before Broomsticks: Fast Life

22nd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and I could have sworn that we had exchanged reviews before a while back but I'm not sure if that's true or not. Anyway, it's nice to be reading something different! :D

So, I'm going to be honest and say that I don't really read too much slash but from the very beginning of this chapter, it was something that you didn't put any emphasis on. If I hadn't read the summary, I would have just thought that this was another Romance/Drama type story and you did a really nice job of hinting at Hollie's feelings for Roxanne rather than banging me over the head with them. At first, I got the sense that maybe it was nothing but admiration and you wrote the scene in the boy's loo very well--from my POV, I wasn't sure who Hollie was pining over and that was a really good way to keep me on my toes.

What I liked the most about this chapter though was how detailed it was about the game. I don't really write much Quidditch scenes in my stories for fear that I'll ruin them but you had just enough here to give me an idea of what was going on and it was really well done. I got the feeling that it wasn't just a fad, it was a genuine sport and I really felt badly for Hollie since she wasn't able to really join in. It feels like kind of a step down from her Hogwarts years but I'm hoping that she'll get her chance to shine again, you make being a Reserve player sound very laboring. I'd always had that sort of feeling whenever I was in school--Hollie gives me the sense that she doesn't really feel a part of the team and even though I think she'd be a great addition, she's often ignored. :(

Now, I think that her affection for Roxanne is brilliantly written. I was able to tell that she really cared about her and that it went beyond the physical, your Roxanne here is a lot different from mine and I'm interested in knowing more about her. I hope Hollie will be able to hold in her emotions and find a way to express herself in the future though. The poor thing is torn up!

All in all though, this was a really unique first chapter and I think Hollie herself is tough, vulnerable and sweet all at once. :)

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! Thanks again for swapping with me! (and sorry this response took so long. I'd like to blame work but this time it was actually other fanfiction that kept me busy! forgive me!)

I am so happy that you said that. Like.. unbelievably happy. One of my biggest goals writing any type of slash for any fandom is not putting a big emphasis on it. I'd like to believe I live in a world where orientation isn't a topic but just a fact, and while that obviously isn't the case, in my writing I try to make it one.

That being said, it does somewhat become a pushing point in the plot in chapter two! haha.

I love writing Quidditch :p It's seemingly all I write these days, but I can't stop! I base it a lot on professional soccer.. erm, football, and so I think when you get up to that more professional level, people start to take it very seriously.
She definitely feels left out. It's sort of like stepping out in the real world in a way (well, exactly like), how in school you can be at the top, and the second you get out you're right back at the bottom.

Oh, thank you! In the upcoming chapters I hope you'll be able to love Roxanne just as much as I have loved planning her out. She's going to be adorable! You'll see more of just why Hollie likes her so much.

Thank you so much again, Gabbie! This was such a wonderful review. I appreciate it a lot!

Julie


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Review #28, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: A Dangerous Revelation

21st September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it feels so good to be back. It hasn't been that long since I read the last chapter but I've been really eager about continuing and I love what you've done here. Our Astoria's continue to be the same but yours is so cunning and a bit ruthless when she needs to be! I adore it.

I'm a bit worried about the conversation that she's having with Draco at the moment. THere's something about him that's making me uneasy, it's probably just because he's so calm about everything, he's not rushing for information or making any idle threats. Also, the thought of him in glasses makes me giggle. That had nothing at all to do with anything but I feel like Draco is the one probing for information and playing Astoria, I wonder what will happen next.

Astoria really shocked me in this chapter, I never expected her to actually take this kind of risk. I liked all the canon that you included in this chapter as well but it felt very dangerous while I was reading and I thought of Hogwarts as more of a prison. It certainly added to the feel of the chapter too and by the time she was talking to Ginny, I was really tense. The back and forth between the two of them was really well-written, I got enough of Ginny's character and Astoria's acting was really amazing. I liked that she saw how genuine Ginny was though and told her about what happened to her mother, I wonder if she'll regret that decision later but from the way this chapter ended, I'm more worried about the information that she gave away.

Can't wait for the next one!

Thanks so much for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! I'™m so glad you're back, too!

You probably *should* be worried ;)

Do you think I should cut the glasses thing? It's just how the scene popped into my head, but you're not the first to mention it, and I don't want it to pull people out of the flow of the story. Or do you think it'™s good to let them have a bit of a chuckle there?

I think that, for the people who were back at Hogwarts while Harry, Ron, and Hermione were gallivanting through the country side on the Camping Trip of Doom, Hogwarts probably did feel like a prison. I'm glad that feeling came through.

In some ways, Astoria shocked herself in this chapter. Her self-preservation instincts are strong, but maybe the one thing that can override them is her devotion to her family. The Death Eaters betrayed her mother, and I imagine that Purebloods are very big on things like "the family honor" and avenging the dead. I think of them like the de Medicis in Italy. They don't play. According to the dictates by which she was raised, Astoria had to do *something* once she found out that Lavinia was killed by a Death Eater curse. Her father is in no state to avenge his wife, and her sister is pretty useless. So Astoria does what she always does--she handles it.

Thank you so much! It makes me so happy that you liked that exchange. It was fun to write--tricky, but fun.

Probably you should be worried about that, too. Just worry about Astoria, in general ; )

Thank YOU so much for the review!

--Penny


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Review #29, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Misattribution

19th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm glad to be back! Annett is a genius. I think that she's one of my favorite characters that I've ever read, I love that she's so determined with following through on this prank (I also hope that Yang doesn't get too hurt in the process) while also balancing her views on science. I hope she wins the battle against Cunningham though, what a hag! I can't believe that she read her essay out loud and laughed! I'm not sure how that might turn out but I'm eager to read on.

I liked the progression of time you had going on here, it was really well-done. It seems like Annett's winning Yang over with very skillful traps and I like that she's using her own knowledge of hormones against the boys, it's working well for her.

I wonder if Albus is ever going to tell her that he likes her though? It's obvious that he does but I'm not sure if it's going to happen or not, I hope it does!

Also, Albus and the others are hilarious as well, they seem to be enjoying themselves. James is a bit silly, I wonder how surprised he'll be when he figures out that the amazing prankster is indeed, Annett? I can't wait for that! Hahahaha.

Also, Room of Requirement? I'm really curious now, can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dear Gabbie,

I'm happy to see you again here! :D

Is she really? That's so sweet of you to say, Gabbie! [hugs] Oh you are too kind. It's nice to see someone who cares about Arden. It's also nice to see you hate on Cunningham. She's annoyingly conservative and traditional. And people like these exist in real life.

Oh Albus. . . But does he, really? ;)

I can't wait for you to find out either! That should be fun to write. ;)

Thank you again for such a wonderful review and for reading,
Em


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Review #30, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

19th September 2014:
HellO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm hoping that I'm not that late with this! I was trying to get rid of a cold and it was honestly kicking my butt last night and I was forced to just go to sleep and dream of cartoons and Percy Weasley.

*Ahem*

So, I really loved what you've done with this chapter. It's just as interesting as the first but maybe a bit more because of the fact that we learn more about Lavinia and what resulted in a very suspicious death. I like that when you started out this chapter, you gave more details on her backstory and I was able to get a real understanding of her motivations and her character. She seemed like a very proud, intelligent woman and I felt a bit miffed that she was never allowed to really follow her passion. It brought your world into clearer focus and is, once again, making it plain that the Wizarding world is set in a time that has passed the rest of the world by.

The back and forth that you give with the flashbacks also gave me a clearer understanding of Astoria's position. Knowing about her mother's secret life of course made her far more aware of her surroundings and the actions of others, though it makes me wonder if she would be in some sort of danger as well. If the people who murdered her mother find out about her, Astoria might be targeted next. Or at the very least, her family.

I think that Astoria is very clever but Draco is far more perceptive than she thinks. I'm certain that he's catching on to her but I want to know what she did to backstab the Death Eaters and what that would mean for the future. I hope you go into more detail in the next few chapters because I'm really curious

Astoria's thoughts on Muggles was very well-written and didn't come off as biased at all. I could understand that her reasoning was based off of what she had experienced and seen and while she doesn't care much for Muggles or Muggle-borns, it's obvious that she sees just how evil Voldemort is. She lost a mother and now she's out for revenge. I don't know how perfect that is but it's going to make for a wonderful story so I hope you request soon!

I didn't spot any CC's either so good job!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! This is not late. This was extremely quick! I'm super impressed. I hope you're feeling better! Percy, hmm? Now that's an interesting choice. Why Percy, in particular?

I'm glad that chapter 2 is at least as interesting as chapter 1! And I'm glad that you thought the peek at Lavinia's backstory worked well. Astoria was very much her mother's protege, so I thought it was vital to understand Lavinia if one wanted to understand Astoria's upbringing. Plus, I really wanted to explore morally grey characters and, as you'll see, on the grey scale Lavinia is pretty much charcoal. But I'm really happy that you felt upset on her behalf! She may not be good, exactly, but she is interesting, and I think at least some of her motivations are pretty understandable. Some...maybe less so.

You're clever to pick up that Astoria might be in danger from multiple sides. As ever, I make no promises. But it's a good thought.

I'm really enjoying the way you're reading these two, but I won't tell you if you're right or wrong. I'll leave that up to your interpretation of the next few chapters! I *can* promise you that you'll find more detail about the backstabbing, and what that might mean if Draco were to figure things out.

I'm really glad that Astoria's views came off well! I didn't think it was reasonable that, as a Slytherin Pureblood and the daughter of a Death Eater, she'd be outraged at the way Muggles/Muggleborns were treated. After all, she's primarily out for herself and her family. However, Astoria is an unusually clear-sighted individual, so I thought she'd be able to plainly see that there were very good witches and wizards whose blood was far from pure. She isn't perfect, and I didn't want her to be. Astoria doesn't think she's a particularly good person. Maybe she isn't. But she definitely has some admirable qualities, and plenty of room for growth.


Thank you so much for your very thoughtful review! I'll definitely be re-requesting!

Thanks again, evil twin!

--Penny



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Review #31, by Gabriella HunterReincarnation: Remember

18th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really happy to be back. I was wondering where you had run off to with this story, I thought that maybe you were going through a long editing process or something.

But, yay, you're back! I was really intrigued from the previous chapter to know what had happened to Rose and now that I do, my heart goes out to her. I wonder what had happened to make Scorpius turn her on that way? I thought that the flashback with the two of them had been really sweet and I was under the impression that Scorpius actually liked her. He had asked her out numerous times before so I'm really furious by how things turned out! I'd also like to know who the killer was and if they'll ever find Rose's body or not. I know that her soul is inside of Rhea at the moment but I'm still wondering if her family will ever find her. I hope they do!

Now, Rhea's body is getting Rose some ground to do things that she normally wouldn't have. I wonder how that will play out later on in the story and I can't wait to see what happens! :D


I didn't spot any CC's and I really like what you've got so far! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! I guess I just forgot about re-requesting!

And yay, I'm back! I always have this wide smile on my face after reading your reviews! Thank you so much for the lovely review and do stick around to see what happens next!

Love
Sana


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Review #32, by Gabriella HunterEvolution: Ain't No Sunshine

18th September 2014:
Hello!

Muahaha, I don't think that you were expecting this but I've been meaning to come and look at your work for a while now and never had the time. I would have gotten to it last night but I was a hot mess, my allergies were kicking my butt and I was watching cartoons.

Anyway, on to this! I'm going to be honest and say that I steer clear of James/Lily stories like a plague. I'm not sure what it is about these stories but they never really captured my attention and I think its mostly because I never really cared much for James and thought that his relationship with Lily was a little too perfect towards the end. They went from disliking one another to suddenly dating and then marriage? I always wanted to know what happened in between that and what redeeming qualities Lily saw in James to want to date him in the first place.

Which brings me to this! I read your Author's Note and finished the chapter without stopping because it was so good and I really like where you're going with this. James's constant teasing of Lily when they were younger is explained in a way that I can believe and I like that you steered clear of "insta-love", which is something that happens in a lot of stories here.

What made this chapter really good for me was that I got a peek inside of James's home life (Something we don't normally see) and HIS thoughts on Lily instead of the other way round.

James apparently comes from a good family and is a bit spoiled to me but I don't really think that's a bad thing. Later, when he mentions how Lily called him out for being so arrogant is actually really interesting to me because he had already recognized that in himself and had never thought anyone would have the guts to say it to his face.

I also really enjoyed the canon that you weaved into this chapter as well. It wasn't overdone or too heavy either and it went smoothly with James's thoughts so it felt more like an actual recollection instead of just forced exposition. I really enjoyed this first chapter and I'll most likely be back pretty soon after I take care of some pesky updates of my own, clean out my review thread and destroy this weird cold I have. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Well you are right that I was not expecting it! But it's so welcome - even if you're FAR too kind. I feel very ehh about the beginning of the story really, as it represented my return to any type of fiction after a roughly five-year uninterrupted hiatus.

This story will definitely NOT be "insta-love". In fact, you might become frustrated at how not "insta-love" it is if you keep reading. Spoiler alert: James and Lily still aren't a thing yet at roughly 102,000 words.

Some of the things you've mentioned are things I absolutely want to get more of (and plan to), like each of their home life and obviously James's thoughts on Lily (and vice-versa).

If you knock out those pesky updates and end up sticking with the story in any regard, I would love your insights. I'm a big admirer of your talent so your thoughts would be appreciated.

Also, I AM getting to A Force of Wills soon. My week has been an absolute nightmare so far.

Kevin


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Review #33, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Creative Output: Mischief

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm a day or two late. I was pretty busy and then I had swaps to do and was fighting my enemy, Sir Bad Plot Twist and that took most of my time.

Anyway, on to this! I really adore Annett, I think that you've really created a very unique character where she's concerned. The fact that she's not falling in with the crowd or drooling over the stubble on James Potter's chin speaks volumes for her. I wonder though if she would want to for just a day or two just to see what it was like? It would be an interesting experiment but that's just me. Hahahaha.

Annett looks at the world in a very different way than the others and I think it makes her perceptions really accurate and very amusing. I wonder if she thinks of her classmates as unidentified creatures of some sort? The gaggle of gossiping girls of course is a frightening thing to witness so I particularly enjoyed her thoughts about that. It doesn't seem like she's fond of James that much but I'm glad that she included him in on her plot against Yang. It was pretty hilarious to read about how determined all of them were on duping him and I'm curious to see how it all plays out. Hahahaha.

Now, the science that you included in this chapter when it came to Alchemy was pretty darn brilliant. I love that you weave magic and science so well in this story and I could understand why Annett was frustrated in class, it seems like science is pushed back unfairly in some cases. Blending magic and science together opens up all sorts of possibilities and I wonder how that essay of hers is going to turn out.

Anyway, another great chapter! No CC's or anything to worry about and I'll be waiting for the next request!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dear Gabbie,

Hello again. Bahaha! I would love to hear about how such an antagonistic was able to acheive knighthood. I could cry of laughter if it weren't for the fact that it might be a sensitive subject given that Sir Bad Plot Twist is your enemy and you're currently in battle with him.

Anyway, thank you once more for yet another amazing review!

You'd like to see her in such a conversation, hmm? ;) You know, you just might in an unspecified number of chapters after this one (it's quite close to this one).

Unidentified creatures?! Lol. Well, she does observe them as one would observe strange creatures.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how their duping him plays out [to your review thread once more]!

Why, thank you very much! I do love my science. And once again, you have brought up another event to occur soon. :)

Thank you again for being awesome.

Just as much love (if not more),
Em ;)


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Review #34, by Gabriella HunterImpact: Irritation

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and its nice to meet you! I can't believe that you haven't had this story requested for me...such a crime against humanity! I honestly thought that this was hilarious and very well-written so I have no idea why you would hide such a gem from me. Shame on you.

Anyway, on to this! Now, I don't know what it is about Ceci but I found her wit to be very addictive. There's something very refreshing about a character that doesn't swoon and sigh whenever Albus is around, basking the world in his hunky glow. I like that you've made her health conscious as well, as that is a trait that will make her stand out from a lot of other girls that I've read about--it makes her appear more mature and thoughtful and I'm sure that will come in handy later. What I thought was an interesting little note that you wrote was the fact that she was reading an old Muggle magazine. That shows to me, right there that the old prejudices that you would expect from this story of story aren't there and that the characters are their own people. It was a nice touch.

I also like how you have Scorpius, Louis and Albus in this chapter. They come off to me as just normal boys and their actions are a bit childish but its normal behavior for boys their age and it was so refreshing. I've grown a bit tired of angsty Albus or Prince Charming type boys in fanfics--what boy is so perfect at fifteen that the heavens open up around him? Like...come on! Out of all of them though, I think that Albus's banter with Ceci was very spot-on, there was a certain flirtatious undertone during the entire exchange that was irresistible.

Now, I don't know about anyone else but I think the animosity that she has for Albus is actually pretty accurate. I've read a lot of stories about love at first sight (I also love that little opening line there about how she wasn't that sort of person, it really made me laugh) and it gets a bit cloying, to be honest. I don't believe in it, personally but what I DO believe in is an attraction that you can't deny. The power of it can be so unsettling that it morphs into hate and I think that's what happened with Ceci, the fact that she complimented Albus with the you-look-just-like-your-father line only adding a bit more spice to it.

I'm wondering how Ceci will survive an entire week with Albus in the same house though! I have a feeling its not going to go the way she wants it to and also, just another thing: Albus mentioned that his parents didn't trust him to be alone in the house anymore and that shows a different side to him that I really liked, it hinted that he was no angel at all, which is quite different from the usual things I've read so good job!

Another thing: The bit of backstory on each boy was very well-written and you even talked about the death of Ceci's mother in a way that wasn't overbearing to this fist chapter. I'm sure we'll learn more about that later, I'm curious to know how it shaped her life, as Ceci is filling in that role.

Anyhoo, I loved this and I'm glad that you requested! Don't be so shy about stopping by next time! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #35, by Gabriella HunterLove, Not War: A Drop of Veritaserum

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I am a day or two late I think but I've been really busy and hadn't had the time to buckle down and get to these stories. Its been a real pain, you know.

Anyway, we're back with this! I was really intrigued and amazed by the amount of detail and history you created with the Gypsies. I thought it was really brilliant to come up with something that original and work it into a fanfic, I've never seen anything like this done before and it was a really interesting part of this chapter. It feels like a true history lesson and past, I thought that you wrote that very well.

The clan feels ancient and powerful, their own myths and beliefs truly fascinating. I like the explanation we got on Saleena's gifts and what they might mean for the future of her family as well, I could practically feel the tension in the room. Also, this is a little thing but I liked that while Hermione was reading, Ron and Harry kept interrupting her--it made the scene feel very realistc and added just a touch of humor.

To finally know more about Saleena's background was a relief and I can understand the complex relationship she has with her clan and mother. The thought of becoming queen, however, is too much for her at the moment when she enjoys the life she has right now and I'm wondering what will happen in the end of this story. It was obvious that she would rather not sacrifice it all to go back to her clan but on the other hand, it would be a good idea to stop them from being crushed by Voldemort. I wonder if she'll make it in time to see her grandmother again and what their meeting will be like once they do.

Hm...

Okay, the actual Veritaserum part of the chapter was really well-done. I've never written a story that included that particular potion. I think that you wrote it excellently, its a complicated thing to do but it felt so effortless reading it and McGongalla's questions made sense to me. They were difficult but fair and I like that you had Saleena wavering slightly on a few and resisting the potion. The dedication that she wants to have with the Order might actually be threatened by her loyalty to her family and I'm really curious to see what happens next.

I didn't spot any crazy CC's or anything but I think that you have a great pace going and your characters are staying true to themselves. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Gabbie, I swear; your reviews just keep getting better & better every time, lol!! You should stop saying that you're late all the time tho, lol. I keep telling you that I'm just happy you've stopped by at all. The timing seriously means nothing to me, as long as you R&R whenever you can. I understand completely about RL being a pain and getting in the way of things, haha! =P

I'm so glad to see that you like the concept of my Gypsies here. The clan really is "ancient and powerful" so it's good to see that that is coming across well. I have pages and pages of notes on Saleena, her family, and her people, but not everything has made it's way into the bulk of the story yet, as this primarily focuses on Draco. I'm also really glad that I rewrote all of this and took more time to reveal more about Saleena and the Gypsies too. Before, it was all crammed into chapter 2, and the chapter was over 10,000+ words long, lol! But I took a lot of the backstory out there, and chose to reveal it here instead. So it's good to see that this has gotten such a positive response so far. (:

I actually wrote a one-shot from Saleena's POV that describes what happens when she goes back to the clan and see's her grandmother again for the first time. I was planning to post it in your review thread once you were at that point, but if you don't wanna wait that long then it is on my author page. The story is called "Born A Leader" and it is the 5th story down from the top. After reading this review, I am really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that one now too!! =)

I'm glad you liked the touch of humor I added in while Hermione was reading too. I didn't wanna bore people to death with all that information, so I had to come up with something to break it up, lol! Plus it was a lot of fun to write that scene as well. I love the trio!! I struggled with the Veritaserum interview at first. It just wasn't long enough and I didn't really have very many question ideas. But then I posted a Help Topic on the Forums and some people gave me some really good ideas!! So I can't quite take ALL the credit for what that section of the chapter is now, lol! I did work very hard on it tho, so I am SO GLAD to see that you enjoyed it so much!! :D

Thanks again so much for ALL of your input, Gabbie!! I'm sorry I haven't been back to request the next chapter yet. It's just that I don't really like to do that until I have responded to the previous review first. And now that I have replied to this, I will head over to your review thread right away to post the next chapter!! Thanks so much!!

~Deana~


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Review #36, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: An Unwelcome Visitor

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap! I am really delighted to actually have stopped by because I don't come across many Astoria Greengrass stories on the archives. I feel like she never gets much love but that might be because we don't really know much about her, other than the fact that she's Draco's wife later on.

Now, I think that we need to stop swapping brains as well because there are a lot of similarities between your Astoria and mine. Its actually pretty scary! I was really intrigued by the weight of secrets and the way you talked about her family, its almost the same as the way I've written mine. There are some differences but I think this is going to be a fun story for me to read, I like having random mind melds with other authors with the same characters! :D

Now, from the very beginning I think that I got the sense that Astoria was a very capable girl. The beginning with her mother had me a bit unsettled though, parents have a way of bending their children and scaring them with lies. Its interesting because that comes into play later and I thought that that was a smooth transition for the rest of the chapter.

I wasnt' sure what was happening at first when Astoria was putting on her act, I honestly thought that she was about to be forced into a marriage but thank goodness, that didn't happen. I was really curious to see Draco but also a bit worried, I had a feeling that the visit wasn't going to be a pleasant one. I was half right of course and Astoria's wavering loyalties can be a dangerous thing and I hope that she manages to pull things off. Draco is withdrawn and depressed here and I'm curious to know more about what he's been going through, I also like the comparisons you've made with how different he was back at Hogwarts and now. It makes his decline all the more noticeable.

I didn't spot any CC's or anything and I think you've started off really well for this story. Your story is mysterious, your characters are unique and I think that you've got some great skill. :D

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! Okay, I was super excited as soon as I clicked on your link, too, because I was like, "Oh, another Astoria story. Cool!" Like you say, they aren't exactly abundant and, as far as I know, I'd never run across yours before.

And then I started reading, and I was like, "Another dark, mysterious Astoria story? Even awesomer."

I, too, was a little weirded out when I read your summary. The Twilight Zone music started playing in my head. I was like...have I found my authorly doppelgänger? Isn't that supposed to be a sign of my impending doom? Am I going to die?

However, I felt like my life was probably safe once I got further in ; ) There are differences. Still, I'll totally agree with the mind-meld thing. Secrets and family issues are definitely major themes for both! It was really fun to read your take, and see all the differences and similarities!

What? Unsettling? Early childhood indoctrination? What could be worrisome about that? ;)

Oh, gosh. I think if there was an arranged marriage on top of all this we'd have to fetch the smelling salts! (Not for Astoria. For me. There are enough plot twists to keep track of as it is. Phew.) You were totally right--this isn't a pleasant social call. There will definitely be information revealed on what Draco's been through in this time. Poor morally-compromised lamb. He's been through a lot.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you think so, and I really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks for the swap!

--Penny



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Review #37, by Gabriella HunterOut of order: Bad Guy

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie here with our swap, I'd meant to get to this last night but I sort of passed out after a while from RL woes. Hahahah.

So, I was immediately attracted to this story because I'd never really read anything about Mundungus before. I think that you chose someone that not a lot of people would readily like or want to even bother with and of course, that just makes the story all the more brilliant. Dung isn't the sort of character that I would immediately want to be around but the way you wrote him, even though what he's doing is illegal, makes you want to root for him. Strange mind control powers, I think! Dung comes off to me as a sly thinker, quick on his feet and with far more of a past than anyone would really care to see. It made him quite human and when you weaved in all the details from the Deathly Hallows, I think I was able to really sympathize with him, especially towards the end. I also like that you didn't take away from his speech patterns either or didn't shy away from the things that he had done. Dung isn't apologetic either about his lifestyle but in the end, you get the sense that he would have wanted things to be different if he could, to some degree.

I really enjoyed this and I was a bit upset to learn that it was a one-shot but hopefully I'll be stopping by more than once to check out your work! :D

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey! Don't worry, it took me like 10 hours to get to yours lol!

I'm so glad I've made you want to root for him! And I couldn't possibly not include his speech patterns. They're just SO fun to play around with.

Her certainly would prefer not to have had to resort to this life of crime, but his attitude is kind of a "what's done is done" kind of thing.

Thanks for the swap!


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Review #38, by Gabriella HunterBlessing in Disguise: Unplanned

16th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap! Its really great seeing another Percy enthusiast, I was beginning to think that I was the only one around!

Bwhaha, I love your Audrey. Its really interesting reading a different version of her from mine but I honestly think that they would get along pretty darn well. I like her spunk and the fact that she isn't the sort of person that's going to hold her opinion back--I like that she admitted to having a hangover and hating her job, two things we don't usually see from her character. I'm not sure how you fashioned her or where you got her from but I think she's pretty brilliant.

I liked the banter that she had with Bill and Percy too in the beginning. I got some good backstory on them and it was great getting a bit of a glimpse into their lives. Also, its good to see that Bill and Percy are getting along somewhat in this fic, instead of hating one another like I'd expect. I think that you wrote that really well too, they had a good brotherly affection for one another that came off as really realistic. Also, Percy's way more relaxed in this first chapter and I'm really enjoying this side to him, you don't get this much in the fanfic world. He's usually so stuffy and boring. Hahahha.

But that ending! I never expected that! Percy is kind of a romantic guy, isn't he?! :D I was super jealous of Audrey reading that little scene and I'm curious to know how their relationship is going to work out. :D

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: HEY GABBIE!!! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this review, I wish I had a better excuse aside from laziness and work... but I don't.

I love Percy! Haha you're definitely not the only one around. Our Audrey's would totally get along and be the best of friends! She never holds her opinion back, it often gets her into trouble. Haha she hates her job so much.

I wanted to make her different to any other Audrey I had seen written, I wanted her to be the total opposite of Percy, she'll help to get him out of his shell, just like he'll help to control her.

I didn't want them to hate each other, I wanted them to get along with each other, even if it was brought on by tragedy. Thank you for your kind words *hugs you*

No one expects that ending haha, I certainly wasn't when I was writing it. He is a romantic guy, but Audrey is a one night kind of girl, so we'll have to see how it all goes.

Thank you for the swap! I shall be reading more of your wonderful fic as soon as I can.

Thank you so much Gabbie! :D


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Review #39, by Gabriella HunterClash: Her

15th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap! I have heard through the grapevine that is the archives that this story is pretty fantastic and I have to say that no one lied to me. Hahahaha.

So, I was completely blown away while I was reading this and I've never seen a story like this on the forums before. I think that its very original and unique, I was pretty much hooked from the first paragraph and the rest was just a whirlwind of awesome.

Firstly, I am amazed that you actually created a villain out of Rose Weasley. THat's something that I've never seen before and I'm really curious about how she became this woman and also what happened to her family and the Wizarding world in general. If you had gone into more detail about just Rose and how she became like this, I wouldn't have minded at all but there's a whole other story going on.

What I really liked was your take on magic and science, they're two things that work together so well but I rarely ever see. I think that you wrote it so well that its hard to imagine it not being fact and it actually makes a lot of sense.

Both magic and science can give and take life away and I found that fascinating. It was an interesting parallel I think, since Rose used her own magic to help her brother and ended up being put on trial. The same thing could be done for using illegal drugs in the Muggle world so I like what you did there. That scene in particular was really emotional and powerful, it had me at the edge of my seat but not nearly as much as the trial itself.

Rose knows what she did was right and even though it was going to have her thrown in Azkaban, she accepted her fate. I'm surprised that no one showed up to support her and I think that you've written the Weasley family a lot differently than what I've seen so far. I can't wait to learn more, especially about how her parents died. :(

Now, Vincent is giving me the creeps. I sense that he's a very ambitious man, the sort who would do anything to get what they wanted and I'm a bit scared of what he'll end up doing to Rose. I don't like the idea of him "training" her either, it makes me cringe. He seems very complicated, cultured and very sly, I'm interested in learning more about him.

Welp, I couldn't find a thing wrong with this chapter and I'm sure that you've gotten plenty of compliments already. I'm just happy that we ended up swapping today, hope to see you around again!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and glad you're enjoying!

Hehe Rose isn't the villain, though I can understand why you'd think that from this chapter. And yes, the Head is a very mysterious character - you'll just have to see what becomes of it!

Thanks you for enthusiastic review :)


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Review #40, by Gabriella HunterThe Monopoly on Honour: The House of the Brave

14th September 2014:
Hello!

Its been a while since I've stopped by and I was wondering what had happened with this story, you kind of left me on a major cliffhanger.

So, we're getting a few more details about the Wizarding world and the aftermath of the War. I was really curious to see how you would portray that and while I can understand some of what Daphne was saying, I think that her views are awfully biased. I'm not saying that there weren't any Slytherin casualties but she's sort of blindsided by anger here and I think that that might be a problem later. I did like the mention of Hermione and the memorial though, I think a lot of people have used that idea but you put a lot of detail into it, there was still a lot of pain of course but the descriptions were beautiful.

Now, I'm really curious about this POV change and I don't really read too much about Alicia. I think that she's a good character to switch over with, since she'll have different feelings towards Death Eaters and the War itself. This Guild that you've created seems interesting and the news over what the Aurors did to the Nott family just...that had me so furious and upset. I wonder what's going to happen now, when Alicia is going with the Aurors? I don't think its going to be anything good. Magnus seems like a calculating sort but he's got a steady mind and I think that he's only doing his best with what they have but I'll be curious to see how he develops later.

I can't wait to check out what happens next so don't be shy about coming back! I didn't spot any CC's either so good job!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

I'm so sorry I my reply to you is so late; I've been incredibly busy - three weeks into my new job and I'm snowed under!

Oh, of course Daphne is biased. Completely. But then, isn't everyone? Everyone will have their issues to work through. It's quite hard for me to balance her like that - to write her with such strong emotions and a fair bit of impulsiveness, but also show her perseverance and determination.

I'm glad you liked the memorial bit, and the descriptions. It's the first time I've tried to write description through a newspaper report, if that makes sense, so I was quite nervous about it. I just read lots of random newspaper articles to get a feel of the style and then what you see in this chapter is my rough, estimated interpretation of that :)

That's precisely why I picked Alicia :) She is proving an enjoyable challenge - writing people who are 'on the fence' rather than fighting for one side rather than another is something I'm really excited about. The Magnus/Alicia/Guild faction will be very important, so we'll see a lot more of them. You're right, Alicia's feelings are quite different, and writing her reactions to the Malfoys and the wider political events, will hopefully show a different perspective.

The Guild! They are definitely one of my favourite things about this story - I have so much fun writing them, because they try to remain independent, to hold some sort of middle ground, and in the aftermath of a war, that is no easy task. As you may have read, the Guild originated from the idea that I have a bit of an ethical problem with the wizarding world not having a judiciary that is independent of the political executive, but of course the Guild is far more than that.

My answer to the Notts is this: these ways are the ways of war, as sad as that is. Of course, I wouldn't have put it in just because - there is actually reason behind the madness :p

Alicia going with the Aurors - well, the next chapter is currently in the queue, and this next chapter should hopefully begin to answer your question :)

On Magnus - well, I can't say much. That would be giving stuff away, wouldn't it? All I can say is that hopefully he will surprise you.

Thanks so so much for the review, it really is incredibly encouraging!

Celi xx


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Review #41, by Gabriella HunterBertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans: Toast

14th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm here a bit sooner than usual so this is cause for celebration!

I was really worried about Rose from the last chapter and I was kind of scared when she woke up in someone else's bed. All sorts of thoughts exploded in my mind and I was a bit scared that something more had happened but was totally relieved that you know...her undies were intact and everything. Hahahaha. Erm...

Anyhoo, I really like what you've done here with this Scorpius. He actually seems like a pretty good guy and I liked the backstory that you gave as well, Rose and he weren't enemies really in Hogwarts and they barely knew each other. That's refreshing, since most stories have them hating one another since birth or being very mean towards one another for no valid reason. I can understand on some level but its nice to see Rose actually not giving in to that prejudice and I'm sensing that Scorpius doesn't really seem like his father either. I would like to know more about him but I'm sure that you'll go into more detail about it later. :D

I think their banter is hilarious as well, Scorpius seems like an awfully smooth guy on one hand but then blunt on the other. Hahaha. Rose felt a little uncomfortable with having him around but I thought it was interesting to see her nervous around something and feeling inadequate.

Ah, James. I'm not sure if he should have really mentioned getting Lorcan's things...I was sort of on Rose's side for a minute there. Lorcan is a real coward for not coming to get them on his own and really? After all this time he hasn't even tried to talk to Rose? I think that he needs a fist to the face. Anyhoo, Rose herself was justified in her anger on one hand but on the other, I think that she just needs a hug. Like, a good one from someone not in her family and right as I thought that, Scorpius gives her that hug! I of course, squealed like a five year old but it was a lovely way to end the chapter! I can't wait for more!

No CC's either, keep up the good work!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! Thanks for reviewing so quickly! Unfortunately you'll have to wait a little before the next chapter :P

Haha I'm glad you were relieved! The story would've headed in a completely different direction if something had happened!

I will get into more detail, but to start out I have made him a bit of a mystery. Like you said, he doesn't really know Rose or associate with her at all, so I can't really see him totally opening up to her straight away!

I was quite worried about the banter, I rewrote it about 5 times because it kept feeling unnatural, so I'm glad it worked out :)

We do really need to hear from Lorcan, don't we?! But who knows how Rose will react to that...

Thank you again for your lovely review!
-Rosiful


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Review #42, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: The Big Thing

14th September 2014:
Hello!

I'm so happy to be back, you really had me worried with that last chapter. I was a little upset that we didn't get much mention of Laurel in this chapter but I think that you've hinted at other issues that deserve my attention. I thought that it was really reckless of Emily and Tristan though to try that Peruvian Potion after what happened to Laurel but I think both of them were trying to escape other more, unpleasant memories and I found that to be an interesting contrast. I wonder what's going on with Isobel at the moment and its obvious that her bulimia is getting out of hand, I'm wondering just how sick she must be to not be walking around in her make up. Has something else happened to bring about this change? I can't help but wonder about that.

But anyway, Emily and Tristan's moment together was both haunting and absolutely beautiful. I enjoyed the power of the potion too and what Emily saw in her friend, the Big Thing, which you've hinted at more than once has me really curious and it really showed Tristan as a very vulnerable person. Its obvious that he's hoarding a lot of pain in himself but I'm curious to know what happened and what's so terrible that he's hidden away for so long. I wonder if Emily will ever say? I doubt it but its obvious that she was a bit disturbed by what she saw, though that ending scene with them was wonderfully beautiful.

Also, Slytherins are jerks. What was interesting was the amount of lust that the boys couldn't help but feel for Emily and the blast of hatred was a good mix, confusing feelings for someone, I'm sure.

Now, the flashbacks were lovely. I really got a chance to see all of the characters back when they were younger, hinting at things to come in later chapters? Emily though was the sweetest person in the world and I really enjoyed how she eventually became friends with everyone. I've had very emotional conversations in the loo as well, they can be quite intense. Hahahaha.

Not sure what's going on with Tristan either, what's he doing skipping class? The nerve! I can't wait for the next chapter, don't be shy about stopping back!

Also, the music in this chapter was very spot on, it gave me chills. I think that you weave this in so well that it really helps me to sink into your characters and also, it gives me a chance to remember all the angsty goodness that I listened to when I was their age.

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello!

Ugh, I DEFINITELY agree that Emily and Tristan were being reckless. I remember seeing people behave like that when I was that age, and FIRMLY CONTINUE TO BELIEVE that they were indestructible even when evidence mounted to the contrary. I hope it came off as "unfortunate but realistic" rather than just "STOP IT YOU FOOLS!"

Yay! I'm so glad you liked that scene! The effects of the potions were really interesting for me to write, and I loved the idea of mixing "literal magic" with "trippy psychedelic." And I really hoped it all worked as a "forwarding the plot" device. I liked the idea of being able to reveal some information to a character, but in a way that was vaguer and more subtle than just a straight up declaration of the facts. Also, it let me string the mystery on longer ;)

UGH, those Slytherins! I have a lot of suspicions about the interior lives of properly prejudiced people (headcanon: Death Eaters totally buy muggle nudie mags on the sly). I'm really glad that you found that interesting, and thought it worked!

Right!?! Restroom-friendships are POWERFUL! And just, yee: writing young-Emily was so fun for me! I also really hoped to convey a lot about Laurel there, so I hope that worked!

So many times writing this story I just wanted to SHAKE Tristan, or SLAP HIM. The fool!

Super glad you liked the music too! I know it can really potentially put readers off, but like you said, teenagers listening to angsty music is such a THING. I really tried to make sure the music always had a *reason* to avoid gratuity. One of my all-time favorite fics is "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality" (it's so amazing, I can't even), but the author ended up offering two different versions of a chapter. The first involved a parody of the "Ghost Busters" theme (and it was brilliant), but readers on that site were just SO allergic to any music in fics that he ended up doing a music-free edit. So glad that hasn't been the case here!

Thank you so much for the review!
xoxo
Roisin


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Review #43, by Gabriella HunterChances and Fate: A Chaper in Four Parts

14th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that this is a tad late. I don't know what's going on with my RL but its really getting on my nerves. How dare it take me away from my fanfics!

Anyway, on to this! Ah, this is such a unique idea and I really love it! This is only a one-shot, yes? I am disappointed. I don't read much Founders and I'm a fan of AU so I was really stunned by how you effortlessly blended the two. I don't think that I've read anything like it before!

So, I love what you've done with each character and their introductions. Godric just made my day today, he was hilarious and I think that having brilliant ideas while drunk is amazing and he should never be ashamed. I like that you alternated the POV in the story too so that we could get a clear idea of who was who and how they were feeling. Oddly enough, they were all thinking similar things about building Hogwarts and their differences were really well-written. I'm not sure who I enjoyed more but they were all so quirky and odd in their own way and even Salazar, who was a bit uptight was a tad unusual in his own way. Hahahah. I do like that you're shipping him and Helga though, that's something that I don't hear happening all the time and I think Rowena and Godric are perfect together. I wish that this was longer but, alas, all good things must come to an end. :(

I didn't spot any CC's and I think that your pacing and characters were excellent! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Gabbie!
Thank you so much for such a lovely review. You have honestly made my day, I can't seem to stop grinning.
I'm glad you liked my interpretation of all the characters. Godric was fun to write, he is very loosely based on one of my OC's for a story I am planning, so I'm glad you liked him. He says thank you very much for appreciating his moments of genius. ;)
I loved Salazar. I don't think he is as 'evil' as he is often made out to be, but I do picture him as very ambitious. Helga seemed so carefree that I had to pair them together. You can get very far in life with ambition and a cup of tea beside you. Rowena is a calming influence for the boisterous Godric, and I love them together.
Again, thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Lottie


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Review #44, by Gabriella HunterLife As We Know It: chapter four

14th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and while I was reading, I couldn't help but think that this story sounded awfully familiar. In fact, I did some digging and it turns out that I had read the first three chapters a while back! I was wondering if I should let you know or simply keep on reading and of course I chose to keep on reading since I'd loved this story.

So, surprise! Yay...

Anyway, I really love your Hermione. I like that you have her still with her familiar traits from the books but there's just something that's really relatable and real about her here, she comes off as like a living girl. There are insecurities and hopes that she can't possibly put all together and I simply love what you've done with her, you've given us a side of her that we rarely, if ever, got to see in the actual books.

I feel really sad for her with the whole Ron/Lavender situation and I'm waiting for that to be resolved. This feels like you're going with canon really well so that might not be for a while yet but I enjoy Hermione's thought processes about their relationship. There's some bitterness and anger there too but also something that's more common: Jealousy. I love that you've written that little emotion in so well, you wouldn't usually see it in any other fic.

My favorite part of this story was the entire last half with Mr. Bleakly. It was perhaps the most sweetest thing that I'd ever read in a while, I thought that you merged the loss of love and the endurance of it beautifully.

And of course, Draco Malfoy has to ruin the moment by being his usual rude self. I'm not sure about a lot of people but I like reading scenes about him and Pansy, that's a relationship that didn't seem to go anywhere and seeing them both as just two teenagers instead of bullies for just a minute is really interesting.

So, all in all I think that you've written another excellent chapter and I can't wait for more! Your pacing is fine and your characters continue to hold up amazingly. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #45, by Gabriella HunterThis love is ours: This love is ours

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm so glad to be back and reviewing your work, so sorry that it took me a while to get back to you. Real life was a major pain. >:(

So, this is a bit different from your usual work but I actually really liked it. I think that you did a good job for this to be the first fluffy story that you've ever written. I never really managed to get the hang of it, myself, someone would have ended up crying by the end of it because angst is in my blood. Hahahhaa. Anyway, I really like the POV that you used, it was easier to get into Curie's head and I absolutely adored the way she and James met, I think that it was a bit quirky but so sweet. James came off to me as more approachable here in this one-shot than in others, where he's a serious stud-muffin. He seems more down to earth and I really loved the entire James Bond bit, I was dying as I imagined what his face must have looked like and Curie's laugh just...I have it in my mind that its a sort of wheezing-snort type thing and that really had me dying. Hahahaha.

I also like the flashbacks that you wove into the story as well. It showed how their relationship was developing and also hinted at James's life a bit, what with past girlfriends showing up and ruining a perfectly good date and all. I think the last part was my favorite, it reeked of romance and I giggled my way through it because it was beautifully written.

I have no CC's, other than the fact that it was over too soon!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #46, by Gabriella HunterBertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans: Rum

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and my goodness, please excuse me for not coming to this sooner. I was just really busy and things were not going well or me in Real Life Land and it was a major pain. >:(

So, on to this! I'm so happy to be back, I was really wondering about what Rose would do and I was surprised that she was actually all right with going to the engagement party. Lily of course was the main one who pushed her into it and with the addition of Cece, she really didn't stand a chance. I really liked Cece too and I'll be happy to know a bit more about her, I thought you weaved in her backstory very well without detracting from the story.

Things were going all right for a minute at the party and I enjoyed the moments that Rose had with Alice and Albus. Although Rose was a bit uncomfortable being there, I think that it was a good thing that she finally came and I was starting to think that everything would work itself out. I felt really badly for her though when you explained how Victoire and her family were basically snubbing her. I mean...really? I'm not at all certain of the family dynamics there but that's really messed up! Dominique was in the wrong and I'm not sure why they act like that ISN'T true. Anyway, I liked the little moment that Rose had with her parents and its always nice seeing them in a story, their characterizations were right on point too.

But then...Dom and Lorcan showed up. Really?! I wasn't expecting that at all and they sure do have a lot of nerve! I don't blame Ron for being upset but poor Rose, she just left without even confronting them and almost ended up being too drunk to function. I thought that entire bit was brilliantly written too, its a side of her that we might not have ever seen and for a minute I was really worried about what would happen. And then...we get a blonde hero that can only be who I think it is and I literally can't wait for the next chapter! :D

I didn't spot any CCs and your characters are flawless. The plot is addictive and you've really got me eagerly anticipating the next chapter!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thanks for the review Gabbie!
And don't stress about how long it takes, I thought you were quite quick actually! Especially because I was on the reserve list.

I'm glad you like Cece! She's actually based on a friend of mine who sure has done some crazy things.. So it will be interesting writing her! Thanks for the comment about the backstory too, I'm trying to avoid doing flashbacks, which is quite hard since every character has their own past that explains their personality.

I was trying to get through the impression that Victoire never really like Rose that much, and therefore really wanted to stick up for her little sister.. but I might try rewording that a little :)
I'm so happy to hear the parent's characterisations were alright. I was stressing so much about them, I never realised how hard it is to use someone else's character and make them seem like they could be the same person!

Haha I'm glad you liked the ending! Hopefully the next chapter lives up to your expectations!

Thank you so much again.
-Rosiful


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Review #47, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: Self-Spelling

12th September 2014:
Hello, lovely!

I am SO sorry that its taken me so long to get back to you but I was really busy and wasn't able to buckle down and get to my reviews. It was a major pain. ;__;

I was wondering when things were going to take a turn for the worse when it came to the group and here is this chapter, destroying my feels! I'm not sure what I want to talk about first but my mind is all over the place and I can't really get all of it out! Agh!

Isobel seems to be going through a stressful time and while I was reading I got the sense that she might be a bit tired of her group of friends. Perhaps it was just me but there wasn't really a strong feeling of companionship between them all this chapter and while she was in the loo, I got the sensation that those feelings had been bubbling up for a while. I wonder if she feels a bit artificial? She was talking about how much she put into her face and studies but that didn't leave her with anything very special. It really got me curious. And then...what?! Bulimia? Did I read that correctly?! That's a serious problem and I'm not sure what to even say about that, aside from the fact that you handled it brilliantly and have some MAJOR guys for actually writing something like that. I tip my hat to you madam because I would never have been able to do it without caving, its such a serious issue and I wonder when we'll see more of it--or if anyone will find out. How long has Isobel been doing this, I wonder? Hm...

Anyway, Isobel's concern about Laurel built up really nicely to give me a great punch in the bum later. I'm not sure how you managed to do it but I've been concerned for Laurel or about five chapters or so and I'm glad that we've finally got an answer. Tristan acted guilty of course but I'm not sure if he really understood the damage but maybe that's just me. Self-spelling is dangerous and such a unique thing to include in a fanfic, never seen it done before and its pretty fantastic. Well, your writing of it is but the actual problems are horrible.

I thought Laurel was going to die. I'm not even going to lie, that scene scared the crap out of me and by the time she was in the hospital wing, I was really shook up. :(

The remarks of the other students of course had me a bit riled as well but it seems to me that the Hex Head's days are nearing an end. I can't wait to see what you do next so stop by like...today because I'm certain that I'll be finished with all my reviews by then. Hahahah.

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello!

I don't know WHY you apologize for being "late" with reviews, when I am the LEAST timely person EVER!

Thank you SO MUCH for your analysis of Isobel's state of mind! You are absolutely spot-on. And as for her eating disorder--it was such a difficult thing to write, because I really didn't want to do that to her (and almost didn't). But then I really wanted to be realistic, and push myself not the shy away from gritty realities (which I think is sort of offensive or belittling, if you are handling heavy subjects at all), so I'm SO GLAD you thought I did it with tact! That was really important to me, because I think it's also sort of *irresponsible* to include a subject like that and then mess up how it's portrayed. Anyway, THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in another response, but I sort of envisioned "Self-Spelling" as a magical cross between "drinking alone" and "shooting up"--as for its implications and dangers. I really fretted over the execution of that scene, and did a ton of research, so I'm SO relieved that it was affecting! It's just such a pivotal point in the story, I felt like I had this huge responsibility to do it well!

Thank you sososososo much for this review!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #48, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Yangs Audacity

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie dumping this review on you and I'm SO sorry that its taken me so long to get to this, I've been weirdly busy. It sucks!

Bwhahah, I found this chapter to be quite hilarious. Annett has quite the reputation doesn't she? I am both amazed and a bit worried that she might take things into he own hands when it comes to her rival/love interest/pest that is Arden Yang. I think its interesting from what I've seen here that Annett is mostly on her own during Hogwarts--has that been done on purpose or has she simply just given up on friendships? I would like to know more about that of course so I hope you go into more detail. I think that having all the boys point out how much the students at Hogwarts are afraid of her only seemed to emphasize how much of a loner she is. I'm not sure if Annett cares really but its something that I'm going to pay attention to for sure. What I really liked is how analytical she continues to be and her thoughts on Arden and how to get her revenge was just too perfect. I don't think things will go as easily as she thinks but I could practically hear the gears in her mind moving. Hahahhaha.

This continues to be a fresh, unique Next Gen and while I'd like to see a bit more from Annett interacting with other students, you've set up something wonderful here. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! :D

Thank you for this review!

Well, she is mostly on her own in Hogwarts and has been for the past five years. We shall see how things changes for her sixth year. ;)

You will also see how she uses/deals with that little piece of information if at all.

I'm relieved to hear that my chracterisation of her is still going smoothly and that you find this story fresh and unique. That means a lot to me. :D Thank you for all your compliments.

Hope to see you on the next chapter soon, Gabbie!

Cheers.


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Review #49, by Gabriella HunterLove, Not War: Trustworthy

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie with your review, sorry that I'm so late but I've been really busy and that's such a drag. Hahhahaha.

Its good to be back, I was really curious on what was going to happen next after that explosive chapter and you didn't disappoint me. I'm worried about Draco though, he has information that he's not willing to give and while I can understand that he might be a bit afraid, it can prove to be a deadly mistake down the line. Saleena of course has her own secrets and by the end of this chapter I was wondering what was going to happen for her to finally crack. I know that there's a lot going on right now with her family but she could save a lot of lives if she gave up just a bit of what she knows. You mentioned that you were worried about characterization but I think that you wrote Saleena very well here. She was still headstrong and still determined but there was a bit of vulnerability there that I thought was a nice touch. It made her feel more real to me and I'm curious to see if you'll explore that side of her more. I also enjoyed your introduction of Tonks and Remus, I think that you did a very good job with them--they're two characters that I've never written before but they seem very in character here. This mysterious girl from America sounds interesting so I'm hoping that I'll hear about that a bit more, there's something fishy about it!

So, Voldemort is looking for the Gypsies? That is not good news. I was really horrified to read that! I wonder though, how he learned about them and what his real motives are. I hope you go into more detail there because I was a bit confused me that he would suddenly be interested in a throne that not too many people know about. I'm sure you'll explain that in another chapter!

As usual, your characters are excellent and your pacing, flow and take on familiar faces was very spot on.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: OMGosh, IDK how I missed this one!! So sorry, Gabbie. I really thought that I had already replied to this a while ago now...

Not to worry about Draco's withholding information, lol. This shall all be revealed soon, as I'm sure you know now, lol! Everything about Saleena will all be made known soon as well. I mean, secrets this big cannot possibly stay hidden forever, can they? ;)

Sorry fir the confusion about Voldemort and the Gypsies. He's really only interested in them because he wants to be in control of everything, lol. But there is a ton more information to be revealed about the Gypsies and their history in the next chapter. Sorry fir making you wait so long to find out about this stuff, but I couldn't reveal ALL my secrets right at the beginning, haha! =P

Thanks so much for the comments on my characterization and pacing/flow. I have been working very hard to get that last thing right especially!! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your reviews, Gabbie!! You are Awesome!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! =D


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Review #50, by Gabriella HunterActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums and my goodness I am late! I am so sorry for that but I've been pretty busy lately and really had no time on my hands to get to my reviews! D':

This is your very first fanfic? I never would have gotten that vibe at all, this was really well-done! So, I'm very intrigued by Rose's issues that you've set up here, I don't think I've seen her written this way and her past is making him awfully curious. At first I thought that she might be pregnant, what with the throwing up and everything but after I continued reading, it was obvious that some sort of trauma was hanging over her head. I thought the part with the picture was especially interesting, she seemed to be lost in memories and I'm wondering who this person is that drugged her. Its giving me a bad feeling but this is so good that I of course want to read more!

What I really liked about this first chapter is that you don't shove the information down my throat. I feel like some others have to beat you over the head with the Next Gen characters and force them to be unique instead of just creating the character that they'd like to see. Rose here comes off to me as vulnerable, sweet and damaged and that's not something that I've seen very often. I also like that you wrote her cousins very smoothly, they fit into the story and with the backstory that you gave on each of them, it didn't feel forced at all. I really enjoyed the part about their Sorting--Albus in Ravenclaw doesn't happen very often and I thought it was especially hilarious about the Sorting Hat possibly being drunk. I think that you've set up something really nice here and for a first chapter, it struck all the right notes!

No CC's that I could spot either! Your flow was great and your pacing was just perfect. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie,

No worries about the time. I completely understand and I LOVE this review! Yes, this is my first fanfic and I'm really glad that it didn't come off that way. The chapter was really short and I just wanted to give the reader a taste of what is going on with Rose. I'm so glad that you're intrigued! Yay!

I did intentionally create a Rose character that was very different. I thought about it a lot and I don't think she would necessarily be a perfect combination of her parents. Instead, I think that she would feel a bit overshadowed by them. One of Rose's major flaws is that she really doesn't think she is as strong as her parents.

I don't want to give away too much about what is going on with Rose, but I'll be sure to re-request a review from your thread - you do such a fantastic job with them. You picked up on all the little details that I put in the chapter.

Thanks again Gabbie!

♥ Beth


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