Reading Reviews From Member: Gabriella Hunter
  
682 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Gabriella HunterDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: The Day After Tomorrow

5th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, the swap continues once again! I am back to the first novel of course since I already left you a review for the sequel and it feels weird, like I'm going back in time. Hahahaha.

So, Devlin made a few interesting milestones today that I found really great. I know that he's still having issues with being with Harry and his mother, who seems to have her own share of secrets herself, but I liked that he was able to be kinder to Emma here. There's something that worries me though, her life might be in danger and he might actually die before the novel is over and I'm on the edge of my seat. I do wonder though, why Alexandra isn't so happy about Harry going to that ball. Is it just because there's a lot of Ministry fuddy duddies there? I do wonder but that's to worry about later. Emma and Devlin's dancing of course was the cutest thing ever and I really adore how he's so confused and fascinated by her. Emma is everything that he was never allowed to be and I hope that their relationship continues to grow.

Ah, the thing with the scars. Harry has his own share of battle wounds and it was oddly something that Devlin was able to sympathize with and understand. I liked that they were able to have that talk but I'm not sure if he's ready to really reach out to his father, no matter if he's going to always be there. Hm...

Now, the name of that potion that was going to help Snape kind of had me nervous. The bold lettering didn't help either, I have this really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach! I did like that you kept Snape's disdain for Harry there and of course Devlin noticed, he notices everything.

I'm always surprised by how smoothly your flow is and how intricately detailed each character you create is. I really love that you have this here in this story, they're nothing at all like I've ever seen! :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #27, by Gabriella HunterDevlin Potter: Convergence Riddles: Lumos

5th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you for our swap! I came here a lot sooner than you might have expected, eh? Hahahah.

It's good to be back! I was wondering how Devlin was going to be faring in Hogwarts and it seems like things have gone a bit better on one hand but not so well on the other. What I really like about Devlin though is that he's really tuned into other's emotions and thoughts, he's able to not quite understand sometimes but he sees things in a way that others might not have.

I really enjoyed his thoughts on Maria though and I'll have to read the previous novel for more of that. I think that there's a really good bond between them and I'm curious to see where that goes in the future. Devlin of course isn't quite as trusting of others as he is of Maria though, I'm wondering when his issue with Scorpius is going to be resolved? Hm...

Ah, Ginny! I was wondering when she would show up and I'm curious now! What happened with her and Harry? Will she be a female Snape?! D':

Devlin seeing the blood was a bit scary, I wasn't sure what was going to happen but thank goodness he helped that kid. What might be a problem for him though is his arrogance, he needs to be a bit more careful with that and his conversation with Harry towards the end has me really intrigued. Will he take any of that to heart?

I'm also really curious about his wand too but I'll have to read the first novel to understand all of that. Hahahha. The last sentence of this made me sad though, I hope Devlin can finally learn to be himself someday without having his past and Voldemort always shifting him into someone else. :(

Excellent chapter! I shall return!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #28, by Gabriella HunterPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

5th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap! I am really curious about this story that you've started, it's really unique. I have never seen a story that featured a Wizard casino, that alone is original enough to warrant an entire story. I'm really interested in this world that you've created and you wrote it all so smoothly that it felt real. Everything felt intricate and realistic and while I am a fan of gambling, I would have a blast being here for the first few minutes! Unless of course I decide to play pool!

I think that you have your OC set up in a really neat way. There's something sly and sweet about her at first but then she's very cunning and flirtatious in the next paragraph. What a way to play the game! I'm glad that you wrote this in a way for women to understand that this world was more male oriented than anything. I, of course felt that she had every right to take their money because they were chauvinist pigs. Hahhaha. I did kind of feel sorry for that one bloke though but then again, he kept on playing because he thought she was weak. Welp, he learned his lesson! Hahaha.

And oh, we've got a bit of a cliffhanger in this ending! I'm really curious to find out what happens next. Also, I find it completely believable that Fred is the owner of this place, it's a joke store of sorts but just not the kind his father owns. Heheheheh.

Great writing, thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! Thanks so much for the swap!

I've never seen a Wizarding casino in fanfic before either, which is why this was so fun (and challenging!) to write. I haven't ever been to a real casino, so I had to imagine that a Wizarding casino would incorporate magic into the normal Muggle attractions. And while it may not be the case in real life, pool is featured heavily in this. I'm so glad that you thought it felt realistic! And I'm sure that my OC would love to play you at pool, hahaha. :)

Thank you so much! She's quite sly and cunning and flirtatious, but she knows exactly what to say and what persona to employ when swindling a drunk man out of his money. :) Throughout my story, there are a lot of "man's world" elements--most of the characters are males, and they have a way of trying to take advantage of the females. But the females, like my OC, are not having any of that nonsense, thank you very much! After all of their chauvinism and ridiculousness, they sort of deserve to be taken down a peg or two. (Don't worry--I don't think that ALL guys are like this, but these characters are caricatures of stereotypes, in a way. It's overblown and ridiculous on purpose.) :D

Cliffhangers are fun! And yep, Freddy is definitely a casino-owner-businessman type. It's a more sinister joke shop than is Wheezes, but yes, it's along those lines. :)

Thanks again!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #29, by Gabriella HunterThe Monopoly on Honour: Her Bellatrix Lestrange

3rd October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back! I was wondering where you had vanished. :D

So, we're back to Alicia right now and I have to say that this chapter was really intense. I was practically chewing on my nails reading this, I expected everything to go wrong and while it kind of did in some way, I was relieved that no one was killed.

What I liked about this was that you showed what could happen to victims on both sides of the War. I thought that you wrote Ron very well here, he's grieving and angry, we all know that he isn't the sort to think clearly all the time when he's like this and I was really worried about him. I think that you showed what damage could be done from losing a loved one in such a horrible way and even though he sort of made me want to punch him every now and then, I could understand. I don't think he's the right person for the job though and the Ministry is awfully shady, sending him out there with the intention of the mention going wrong. >:(

Alicia is strong willed though and very professional, I admired her determination. I think that she's able to understand more about the suffering of the War without a biased opinion and I really enjoyed that.

That ending though has me kind of anxious...I can't wait to read on! I would leave you a longer review but I can't gush for hours about this so I hope this will be enough!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Thanks so much for your review! Like I said, this chapter is kind of slightly *very* late - RL is a killer at this point in rainy, stormy October :)

Intense was certainly what I was going for, so thanks! Expecting things to go wrong, well, yes, I'd certainly agree with you there - but I wouldn't be too hasty; Alicia and co haven't actually arrested the Malfoys yet. I promise, there's lots more intense *hopefully - that's the idea, anyway :p* stuff coming up soon. Chapter VI is currently with my beta, and as soon as I get it back, I'll put it straight in the queue!

Victims on both sides of the war, indeed, and I think it's something that is all to often forgotten. You find out more about it in the next chapter, I swear!

Gosh, I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of Ron, because I really struggled with it when I was writing this bit. Trying to do him justice, to make him coherent with canon but show how the war affected him, and create a bit of conflict with Alicia, I think was definitely an exercise in balance for me! You wanted to punch him on occasion? Glad to know I'm not the only one! :p But of course, he does justify his actions to himself.

Interesting you should say the Ministry is being shady - I definitely agree. But there is a whole lot more to it which you find out, not in the next chapter, but the one after. The Ministry's position in this whole situation is one I'm really excited about exploring - they are in a very uncertain, tenuous position.

On Alicia - thank you! Hopefully she's a credit to her old Hogwarts house. I have a lot of fun writing her. Obviously I can't say much, but things are not about to get any easier for her haha. (I know, I'm evil :p)

Ah, the ending. It's sort of a Beethoven's 5th moment, isn't it? (Or at least to me, but that might be because I was listening to it when I wrote the ending!)

Thanks so much for your review!

Celi xxx


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Review #30, by Gabriella HunterValour : The Pain in the Heart

3rd October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm a few days late. I was going to get to this yesterday but my wifi died and it was a major pain.

Anyhoo, on to this! It seems like the War is only getting darker and darker. Marlene and Sirius make an interesting pair but I like that they're able to do their jobs without losing focus. There were a few moments when their pasts might have come up but they quickly pushed it aside and I think that they did it on purpose, they didn't want to talk about their old wounds, I suppose?

Sirius's attitude and his quick thinking were really well written too. I think that he had more of an idea of what to expect than Marlene when they were stopped by that Death Eater in the streets. It helps when you're a bit more street smart and while they're currently lost, I'm thinking that they might grow together as a team and repair their friendship. There's obviously something broken there.

I liked the bit with James and the others too in this chapter. They were getting along so well while also balancing what they had to do for the Order as well. Remus didn't exactly do as well as he'd wanted but that's to be expected right now, he'll improve over time I'm sure. Hahahahah.

Now, what I really loved about this chapter was the ending with James and Lily. Usually in that sort of situation, James might have taken advantage of what she was offering but he really showed a good strength of character by not sleeping with Lily while she's upset. I kind of awwwed at that part. Hahahaha.

I think that this was a good chapter, your flow was pretty darn awesome and while I think the transitions could be a bit slower, everything else was great!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I had pretty low confidence in posting this, so I'm happy you enjoyed this.

I'll work on lengthening my transitions, and making them flow with more ease.

I'm so excited to write more for you to review!


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Review #31, by Gabriella HunterHaunted: the gift

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie here from the forums with our swap and I'm just now getting to this because my life is horrible and time is not my friend.

So, I'm really interested by the POV you decided to use, I don't see this very often. I also don't read too many stories about Theo Nott and he's completely different from the one I have in my stories. Not quite so cowardly and I liked the bit of bravery that you've given him in this chapter, it takes a lot of courage to do what he did so effortlessly.

Of course, he wants to really save himself but by helping Ginny and her group, there's a chance that his father might be spared. I think that you've set up the changing world of Hogwarts very well here, I was able to get a great sense of unease just from the first few paragraphs. I was worried though that he was going to be caught though and I'm glad that he was able to get away with something that might put him in danger.

I really want to keep on reading so I'm sorry if this is too short! I didn't spot any CC things and your flow is great so good job!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #32, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: Muggle Magic

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and I got here a lot sooner than usual so what say you to that?! Hahahaha.

So we're back with Isobel now. I liked how this chapter started out with her cooking a meal for her family because I found it a bit ironic considering that she hardly eats herself. It was an interesting contrast and I'm hoping that her own issues will be taken care of at some point, it's really not healthy.

Isobel's family weren't what I was expecting on one hand but on the other, I could understand her own mind. I know exactly what it's like to have a family that's only there for you when it's convenient while offering up nothing but criticism so I couldn't really blame her for some of her attitude. I do wonder though if they'll ever find out about what really happened with Laurel and all the nastier details.

I really liked the interactions between Isobel's father and Emily's family. I think that Emily's family is pretty interesting, they've got a really great hippy vibe going on but there's a lot about the magical world that they didn't understand. I thought it was a little strange that Emily had never told them much but perhaps there's something else going on? Hm...

OMG, Lucas!

*Ahem*

I was kind of disappointed in the girls though while they were smoking. I feel like they're not really learning about what could happen if they're pushed too far and I'm curious to know how the visit with Laurel will go. Apparently she's not having a very easy time and I'm kind of feeling uneasy about that, I hope the visit doesn't go as badly as I think it might.

Anyway, what I really liked the most about this chapter though was the differences you showed between a magical family versus a Muggle one. The thought of living without magic was too much for Isobel to understand but I thought that her father's interests in solar panels was a good contrast. They each have something the other lacks in some way and I'm wondering if that theme will play a larger part in the rest of the story.

Hm..I could find nothing wrong with this chapter at all but that ending kind of left me a bit antsy. I might just hop on over to it soon just to see what happens next!

I shall return!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello! Wow, that was so quick! You rule!

It is a bit ironic, isn't it?! I did a bunch of research into eating disorders for this story, and it seems like obsessing over food/making elaborate meals for others is a REALLY common symptom of anorexia.

Isobel's family were weirdly really interesting for me to write. I kind of really enjoyed writing Ahmad. He's rather like, charming, and a nice sort of man, but also a little pompous and careless to a fault. I really wanted to show a few different kinds of families in this story, and have strengths and weaknesses for all of them. The Doge-Mostafa's definitely exemplify the best and worst of an affluent middle-class (in the English sense) family.

Emily's family are DEFINITELY first-wave hippies! And as for Emily not mentioning certain things (fairies, dragons) I suppose I should work on that. I guess that, with limited time spent home, she just couldn't fit in an entire and exhaustive account of everything about the wizarding world. But really, I only did that because I wanted to show muggles reacting to that stuff, and a pureblood experiencing the other end.

Hah, no, they definitely aren't learning. But, well, KIDS. My friends never stopped smoking for ANYTHING. The teenage delusion of indestructibility is pretty tough to shake. And these characters definitely make a lot of bad choices that I don't agree with. I hope I'm striking a good balance! Because I wanted to go for as much realism as possible [in my story about wizards]--but I also recognize that realism can get FRUSTRATING and ANNOYING.

Ah, the antsyness. I wrote this whole story out before uploading to HPFF, so it wasn't originally designed to be episodic, but rather to have certain sequences kind of work together in chunks. So yeah, this chapter is designed to lead into the next, like a 2-parter thing. Maybe I should indicate that?

Thank you so much for this review! Not only was it AMAZINGLY fast, it also gave me a few ideas for things I could tweak once I'm allowed to edit again :)

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #33, by Gabriella HunterPlum Velvet: Blue Leather

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and I am here like the speed of light! I devoured this in about five or ten minutes without stopping and I have to say, it was pretty darn excellent. With awesome sauce.

I'm not sure if I'll even be able to gush about how much I loved this and touch on everything that I enjoyed without squealing. What I really found intriguing about this was that you gave absolutely no hint at all who your two main characters were. I wasn't able to make a clear guess and for a while, I was certain that Albus was a girl but as I kept reading, that thought kind of faded away. I'll be honest though, I don't really read much Slash but this was so good that I'd come back a thousand times over.

I think that the style you chose to write this story in just speak volumes. There's something both beautiful and frightening about Albus's observations, his thoughts are twisting and turning with wonderful things. I found that to be really great to read and his growing fascination for Hyperion were really well-written.

I don't think that I would have been able to make it through this in one piece. Even while I read though, I wasn't able to completely put the pieces together until part way through and it was such a nice twist. I wasn't expecting this to turn into a dark vampire tale but it really was engrossing! I do wonder though, if a lot of people would give it all up to be with the one they love forever. There were a few minutes of doubt here and there between them but I think the final result is that eternity is nothing without the person you love the most. :D

I really, really enjoyed this and I wish I could gush about it properly but I don't really have the room to go on forever and ever. Hahahah.

If you ever make this into a full novel or short story, I'm totally going to read it!

Thanks so much for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey there, Gabbie! :) So great to see you here again - I always love swapping with you! Every swap is always so good!

Gah, thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked this - I was so nervous about it; Gift It stories always make me so utterly petrified of things, you know? Coz it's for someone... it means something more than normal stories... :P

Thank you so much again! I really loved not giving things away at the beginning, I really wanted to keep it a bit of secret, just to introduce more the themes of things, rather than focus too much on the people themselves, you know? It's always great to hear things like that - I love testing boundaries - my own and others - and I'm so glad you like this even if it isn't your normal sort of thing! :D :D

I loved writing this - with the whole obsessive element, and it all sort of came from the whole link to his namesakes - with Snape's obsessive love with Lily, you know? The style was a bit sort of coming from other stories - especially my Albus/Gellert - I've been writing at the moment. For some reason, I found it really hard to switch it off, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Haha, thank you? :P I'm so happy you liked the twist - it was the idea from the beginning, though I really wanted to make it as unclear as possible, and to trick readers, so I'm so glad that worked, at least! :) Yeah, it is an interesting question, and I kinda wanted the idea that Albus doesn't want to and almost can't, in a way (certainly believes he can't), live without Hyperion, all because of love. And yeah, I definitely agree - it would be very lonely, I think! :)

No worries about that - this review was lovely as it is anyway! If you'd gushed on forever, I'm not sure how I'd have ever managed to reply! :P

Haha, I'm not sure about that one - I have quite a few WIPs at the moment, I don't think I could do another one, sorry! :( (Though maybe a linked one-shot? I dunno... you're giving me ideas now!)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was amazing, as it always is with you - and I loved it! Thank you so much for the review, too - it was so lovely to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #34, by Gabriella HunterDevlin Potter: Convergence Riddles: Memory and Reality

29th September 2014:
Hello!

I'm here a bit late for our swap but I was a tad busy and wasn't able to get to it until now. Real life is a major pain, you know? I find it to be quite rude. Hahahah.

Anyway, on to this! I really should go back and read the rest of the first novel but I was really curious on where you were going to go after the first chapter for this sequel. I feel like I'm cheating...

Devlin has friends and enemies everywhere, it seems. I'm not sure if I like the fact that his entire school life at Hogwarts has already been prepared for him though but he took advantage of what he could gain from it. As usual, Devlin is far wiser than anyone else his age and he's able to notice things that everyone else would have just pushed aside.

What I liked about this chapter was that things didn't go the way he expected. I'm curious to find out what friendships truly blossom with him and his Slytherin dorm mates, there are some interesting characters there. I'm not sure what to make of some of them but I'm sure that Devlin will pick his friendships carefully.

It seems like Devlin is a bit of a celebrity to his fellow Slytherins and I really want to find out what happened with Scorpius's dad. I haven't read the rest of the first novel of course but I know that it was pretty awful, death for death is what I kept thinking of while reading. Devlin is brave, calculating and oddly resigned to his fate, I would love to see him breaking away from Voldemort and being himself.

I really liked this ending too, Snape wasn't fawning over him or offering any support. Devlin didn't seem to know what to do with himself after he was jumped by those older boys and I know that he would have liked some manner of comfort or conversation with someone he trusted.

Snape was not that man. I don't think he has much tolerance for the game Devlin is playing and I'm wondering how that will come into play later on.

I didn't spot any major CC's in this chapter so you're all good on that end. The flow of this is great and you've got some interesting characters that I can't wait to see develop. :D

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #35, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: War Children

27th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm so late. Even though you had reserved a slot, I'm still a day or two behind and that really blows. Forgive me, yes?

So, we're back with Tristan again. I feel like there's something really eating away at him and I wonder if it has something to do with the Big Thing, which we've only seen hints of before. I wonder if he'll have the courage to really talk to Laurel though, I can understand why he's feeling guilty but at the same time, it would be good for them both to get that off their chests.

What I found really interesting was the brief conversation he had with Snape. Now, I'm with Tristan when he was saying how disturbing it was for Snape to offer a bit of warmth. THere's something so horrifying about that for whatever reason but I think that Tristan might have listened if he had just acted normally. Haha. Anyway, I'm wondering what is going on with him and Neville though. War children immediately caught my attention but I can't imagine what the connection could be but it's obvious that it's not nearly a secret as I was led to believe. Snape knows about it of course so that makes me wonder how many other teachers do as well, my mind is spinning with questions.

I liked the brief POV change you gave with his mother too. I was able to get a better understanding of Tristan and how he grew up, he seems like such an introvert. I can understand his mother's worry though and their conversation about Sophie of course had me a little worried. It's obviously been bothering Tristan for a long time and I wonder if they'll ever really talk about it. Tristan doesn't seem particularly inclined towards either of his parents and I wonder where this gap originated from. It kind of makes me sad though. :(

And he's buying more weed! Bad Tristan! I wish that he would give it up but he's not really in the best of places, I don't think. I did like that we got a glimpse into this underworld and I was a little worried about him while he was talking to Sophie's boyfriend (I see her fears over that not working out were put to rest). I'm not sure it was the confrontation he needed but he was slick with his lies, I noticed. It wouldn't have been a good thing to get into a row with that guy.

As usual, the writing is brilliant and your characters continue to be realistic, compelling and tormented in their own way. :D

I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello!

No worries! I don't think you took very long at all!

Haha, I really REALLY liked writing Snape that way. I'm a huge Snape fan myself, but specifically because he's so complicated. Trying, and rather failing, at being kind was an idea I really liked!

I'm really glad you liked the POV shift to Mary, too! I wanted to show that he really is loved (because OF COURSE he is, even if he doesn't realize it), and then also raise all the questions you noticed!

Oh yes, Tristan would be, I think, rather useless in a fight without a wand (and potentially formidable in a fight with one).

Thank you so much for the review, Gabbie!

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #36, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Exploring Hormonal Minds

27th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been really busy this week or two and haven't had the time to take care of these awesome stories for you guys. It's really good to be back!

I like that things have changed a little bit for Annett since the prank. I'm not sure if I appreciate Carter practically using her as a buffer to get O's on his assignments though and I liked that Annett herself was questioning that. I wonder if her brilliance will ever be recognized by her own teachers, it's really not fair, in my opinion. Hahahha.

What I really liked about this chapter though was her friendship with Al. I think that the pair of them are so adorable together and there's this underlying respect that they have for one another as well. They're able to understand one another in a way that no one else would be able to, Annett opened up to Al I think in this chapter, just a little. Their banter is wonderful too, I was laughing the entire time they were talking, it was almost too much for me. I really wish that Al would have been a bit more aggressive with how much he likes her though, or perhaps I'm not reading this correctly? Hm...

I like that Annett is so analytical that she doesn't quite understand relationships. her knowledge is so vast on some levels but on others, I think that she's lacking somewhat and I can't wait to see how she's able to get through them all. Al asking her to the dance of course was the sweetest moment but when they were there, I thought that he would finally make a move. But I think that he's working up to it...he winked at her and everyone knows that that's the sign of doom for any girl. What will Annett do? I can't help but wonder.

Also, Yang's appearance was a hilarious one as well. He sure does have a lot of nerve though, trying to ask her out again. :p

Another good chapter, I'll be back a lot quicker next time!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dear Gabbie,

I completely understand! There is no need to apologise. :)

Oh no. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. After would get good marks without her, he just wants to learn it her way. Most professors have already read her work because, even with Cunningham, she is not afraid to write about her own theories. So they know where Carter gets it from. But she still does question why he wants her to tutor him. We'll find out why in a future chapter. ;)

Al an Annett are both rather reserved. Even if they did like each other the way you think they might (I neither confirm nor deny anything) they would still lack that degree of social aggression sometimes. As for your reading it right, well have to see, won't we?

You're right, she is definitely oblivious to how she fits in among her peers if at all. She's not a people person, she is more of a thing person.

Any girl? We hall have to see if that holds true to Annett over here. ;)

Thank you so much for all your thoughts! It pleases me to hear that you've been enjoying the story and laughing an all. :D

You are awesome!

Reciprocal love,
Em


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Review #37, by Gabriella HunterUpping The Ante: Live A Little

27th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that I'm so late. I would have gotten to this a lot sooner if I'd had the time but real life was a major pain. :D

So, things seemed to be going pretty well between Amos and Xandra in this chapter. I thought that there was something a little too smooth about him though and I wasn't really counting on him to stick around much. I got the feeling that Alex knew about that too and I was wondering why he wouldn't say anything, I guess he didn't want to hurt Xandra's feelings? What I liked about this chapter was that everyone has little crushes on so and so but things don't work out for all of them. I think that's something a lot of authors don't write very well, they seem to make all of their characters fall in love and stay in love with the same person. That doesn't necessarily happen to everyone at this age so I like what you've done here, it's very realistic. Xandra's girly side of course is adorable and the beginning of this chapter was hilarious, I wonder if they will make that Charms Club though. I would, just to shove it in Amos's face.

Anyway, I really liked all the detail and sub plots you put into the Quidditch game. I thought you wrote it very well and I'm curious to know more about Jackson and Kendra's relationship. I wonder what would happen if they just explored that a little? Hm...

Anyway, nice mention of Regulus in there too, I wonder if we'll see more of him. As usual, Sirius is his charming self and he it seems like he's really going for Xandra this time around. I like that she didn't immediately fall for his games either and simply walked away but it put her in the position of seeing Amos being a sleaze. I think she had some control because I would have punched him. >:(

Anyway, this ending was a bit of a cliffhanger but I'm looking forward to the next!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #38, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

26th September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie here with our swap and I'd been meaning to sneak on over here and see how your Astoria was doing. I hope that I didn't skip a chapter but I'm pretty sure that I didn't...

So, the battle of minds is still going on with Astoria and Draco. I really like how his thoughts twist and turn, you really get a sense of how much he's changed since the previous year. There's a sort of weary patience about him that I find really interesting, I think he's so sly that you don't pick up on his own fear though, which can prove dangerous. His knowledge of the Greengrass's and their past was a good little peek into his mind as well, the Death Eaters have far too much knowledge and I feel like Astoria is being pushed into a position she won't be able to talk herself out of.

It's obvious that what she had revealed to Ginny is coming back to bite her. The Weasley family is under careful observation but I think I cursed really, really loudly when Draco pulled out those Extendable Ears. I wasn't expecting that but oh, he just seemed so smug about it all, didn't he? What I did like about that entire scene was that he was able to sense that Astoria was an opponent that wasn't at all like her sister or anyone else he had encountered. They're an interesting pair, I think, they counter one another with enough wit and secrets to keep me reading, I never know what might happen next.

What I was worried about though was that little bit with Felix. What did he really hear coming from the Department of Mysteries? Is he just a bit mad with grief? Hm...

I'm really worried though about what Draco might have seen in her mind or what might be revealed. I didn't expect him to use that against her but then again, that was why it was such a shock! I am so worried about Astoria right now though and plus, we have that ever pressing feeling of someone arriving and that might not bode well.

This was a good chapter, I can't wait to see you again! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Whoo-oo-oo-ooo-hoo! Answerin' reviews! Reviews for which the answers are so very overdue-oo!

*grins sheepishly*

You didn't skip a chapter : )
--Did I have a weird transition or something, that made it seem like that might be the case? Let me know. I definitely want to clean things up if they're unclear!

"Weary patience". I like it! It's a good way to describe Draco at this point. He's been pretty miserable for the better part of 2 years, and at this point he's just kind of numb, waiting it out. That's part of why Astoria so intrigues him. She makes him sit up and pay attention for the first time in a while.

You're so good at spotting danger--great self-preservation instincts. You're certain you're not a Slytherin?

That knowledge certainly is not a good thing for Astoria. Draco's had some aces tucked away, and we get to see some of that in this chapter. Like with the Ears. Ohmygosh, I love that the moment he throws that out got such a strong response! Muahahaha!

Draco definitely *sees* Astoria. On the one hand, it's kind of bad, since she definitely prefers to be unseen and, currently, she has a lot to hide. But that is exactly the thing that makes them such great foils for one another. They're both observant, Astoria because she's been trained to be, Draco because he's *had* to be (people are very curse-happy in DeathEaterville. It's a place where you can afford a lot of mistakes).

And I'm so glad that you think they are an interesting pair. I do like to keep people on the edge of their seats (Have I already used up my evil laugh quota? No? Muahahahaha!)

Oh, Felix. Did he hear something? Is he mad?
--Why not both?

Oh, good, worry! You should be worried. Worry is a highly appropriate response ; )

A shock, you say? I...don't think I'm going to be able to resist...nope, here it comes...

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks so much for the review, chicadee!

--Penny


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Review #39, by Gabriella HunterLove, Not War: The Spy

26th September 2014:
HellO!

This is Gabbie form the forums dropping by with your review and you know what's going to happen now! Be afraid! Hahahahaha.

I knew it. I just knew it! You were after my heart with this one, weren't you? I had my suspicions that Percy was going to be the one who turned out to be the spy from what happened in previous chapters but man, the emotional punch in this chapter was just painful. What I liked the most about this chapter was that Draco's attitude towards the Weasley's has really shifted, he was able to respect them. I liked that he was able to see how much dedication they put into raising their family and how much they really cared about their well-being but it also added this sense of sadness to the scene, since we were about to see the family being torn apart. Draco's concern for them was very touching and I felt badly for him too, he was being put into a very uncomfortable position and it took a lot of courage for him to finally speak up about the truth.

Molly's reaction of course was gut wrenching and while I expected her to faint, I was glad that she was able to stay standing. It was far more effective and I think that it was more powerful, her tears were enough to have me nearly stop reading this chapter though. Arthur's denial of the situation at first was very realistic, what parent wants to believe that of their own child? He slowly began to accept it but I think that they're going to be in that state for a long time to come, I feel like that wound is never going to close.

But Percy is a Death Eater as well? That just...it's too much for me. I wanted to scream and then cry and then scream some more! I can't believe him! What I liked though was that you had the family talking about that little darkness in his heart and how his ambition carried him over to do the unthinkable. It fit in well with his character here and it was a gutsy move. I know that a lot of people wouldn't have thought it all that shocking, considering that it's Percy but I think that you really took a risk here. It's great to read and I think that you've set up the remainder of the story very well. We've got a war coming and a family on opposite sides, that's just going to be a delicious read for me. :D

Charlie and the others got a bit more personality in this chapter too. Sibling hierarchy is really a thing, the twins have a respect for Charlie and Bill that we wouldn't have ordinarily have seen. I also liked that you gave each twin their own character traits as well, Fred is obviously more hot tempered than George but seems to follow his brother's lead every now and then. It's an interesting look into their relationship, I was able to feel all the anger between them and the heartbreak as well. :(

I'm really curious to know how you'll go forward with the story now. Obviously the Order is shook up by this news and McGonagall is being questioned as a leader but I'm glad that their loyalty towards one another stayed true. I can't wait to see what happens next and this angry Neville of yours is really capturing my attention, I hope he doesn't go off the deep end.

All in all though this was a great chapter, it had all the wonderful things that I needed with just enough foreshadowing to keep me guessing. I noticed a few little grammar things like "of coarse" should be "of course" but you can easily clean that up. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #40, by Gabriella HunterDaydreaming: Daydreaming

23rd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums stopping by with our swap! I'm really sorry that it took am inute but here I am now! You read three chapters of my story and I hadn't even managed to stop by and read any of yours. Shame on me!

So, I remember seeing this challenge around on the forums but opted not to get into it because I can't write Draco Malfoy in just 1000 words. I just...can't. It's impossible. Hahhah. I tend to write really bulky chapters and so seeing it was like Kryptonite or something.

Anyway, on to this! I really, really enjoyed this. It has the making of a good Dramione and I think that your Draco here is a bit of a romantic, this isn't a side of him that we've seen very often but I like it. His thoughts about Hermione were more sweet than lusty and while he was having a few doubts, it was obvious that he found her far more interesting than he had previously thought before. I think my favorite part of this chapter was the way he described her expressions, there was something really tender about that.

And then...

I was totally rooting for them! The kiss itself was written very well and I thought for a moment that it was going to go in another direction but then Draco woke up. o_o

I was sad. Hahahah.

I liked that you had this being a dream though, as it shows what Draco really wants in his life. Of course, he ruined whatever bit of friendship they could have had by calling her a Mudblood but I think he was just doing it to protect himself.

I would love to read more of this if you ever write a complete story. It was a good read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again! I decided to do this challenge because someone from my house created it and I wanted to write some Draco, but trust me it was really hard. My original draft was at least 500 words longer than it was supposed to be, but I managed to cut it down. Although I can totally see how this wouldn't work for you because pretty much all your chapters and one-shots are super long. I didn't even know what to do with this story at first, 1000 words is not a lot to put a story into, this is really just the tinyist glimpse into Draco's life.

I am really glad you enjoyed it though! I was sad, too, when I made Draco wake up, lol. I may write Draco again soon, but it won't be a Dramonie. Or at least I'm not planning one at the moment. Who knows? I've got so many partially written one-shots I've been meaning to complete for ages.

Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm sure we'll chat again soon.

xxNix


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Review #41, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Satisfying Humiliation

23rd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and this has to be the most hilarious thing that I've read in a long time! I couldn't stop laughing the entire time, it was actually so brilliant that I wonder why I had never thought of doing this myself! Hahahahaha.

It was great finally seeing the plan come to action though. Annett and the gang were very sly about keeping it a secret for so long but also they were very organized, right down to the last detail. I'm impressed. I remember feeling a bit sorry for Yang in the previous chapter but after reading this, I'm going to have to admit that he was a major prat. I can't believe that he actually said that he wanted to basically get into her pants (Annett's choice of outfit was actually really spot on for what they were going to do and completely out of character for her, which made it all the sweeter)! What a jerk! I wonder how many other girls have fallen for that line? I hope none! Annett had some major control over her anger though because I would have hexed him for sure after using that line.

The entire Hogsmead trip though was so funny, I like that Annett was toying with Yang the entire time while also giving us explanations on what was going on behind the scenes. James and the others are eerily talented when it comes to pulling pranks and they all went above and beyond! I about died with the part with the toad, I couldn't believe that you had written something that hilarious so smoothly--also, it was SO funny seeing Yang lose his cool.

The medusa hair was also a favorite. Hahahhaa. I'm curious to know what the group is going to do now though. I hope they don't split up!

As usual though, your characters are fantastic and the flow for this chapter was spot on. I wasn't able to stop reading!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabby!

Thank you so very much for coming back to read and review!

I'm so delighted that you think so! And it means so much to me that I could make you laugh.

Yes it was most definitely not very much like her at all to dress in such a way. But the things she will do for her own amusement. . . She is very unfazed by a lot things: Cunningham and Yang for instance.

Bahaha! I'm glad I could change your mind about Yang. He likes her for all the wrong reasons.

Thank you so much. There were quite a few components to this prank, so it's relieving to hear that it came out smoothly.

Well we shall see what happens next, shall we? ;)

Awww, Gabby! Thank you. :)

Cheers,
Em


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Review #42, by Gabriella HunterSirrah Malfoy: Introduction

22nd September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this swap on you with all the power of the universe! Be afraid! Muahahahahha.

Or not.

So, I've read a lot of stories with Scorpius having a twin but I think Sirrah is absolutely hilarious. She's got a lot of spunk and I think that she's a very original character, I'll probably have to stop by again for the first real chapter just to see what else she has to say. I do wonder though...was she talking to the reader or writing in her diary? I'm a little confused there but it gave me a great opportunity to be in her head. The fact that she makes her own clothes and has such a deep family history, just makes her all the more fascinating for me. It's really not what you would have been expecting out of Draco Malfoy's daughter, that's for sure.

I liked the little hints of family dynamics you worked into this chapter though. I'm able to see that Draco isn't the most attentive father and Pureblood lifestyles are still heavily influenced, though I'm glad that he doesn't carry such a strong hatred for Muggles anymore. At least, I hope not. I feel bad for Sirrah though, never really getting the attention she needs from her father but I'm sure that you're going to talk about that later so it was a nice bit of foreshadowing. :D

I really think that this was a good start and if you ever want another review, you can just find me in my review thread. I always reserve slots after the first three are filled so don't be shy about stopping by!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi! You know, I've never actually read or seen any stories where Scorpius has a twin... But when I first started writing this (ages ago) I stayed away from anything Next Gen just so it wouldn't influence my story. I wanted her to be very original and spunky and kinda out there. I do hope you stop by again to check out the next chapter and maybe further chapters...

In this chapter, and it kind of continues in the other chapters, she's basically speaking to the reader. There was more of this in this chapter, just because it's introducing her to the reader, it is toned done a bit in future chapters. But yeah, I didn't want her to be something you'd expect, I kinda wanted her to have some drive and a goal of her own since she sees herself so differently from her family.

I do include quite a few pureblood snipes on her family and purebloods in general. And I try to keep her family to the pureblood code, if you will. The dynamics haven't really changed, but Draco does hate the muggles less, I think, enough to want to understand them at least so that he knows what they're about. If that even made sense. He's definitely not the most attentive father to Sirrah, although not the same for Scorpius, he is very attentive of him. I guess all in all, he really had no idea how to raise a girl. Much is mentioned and elaborated later. It's a long story, if you couldn't tell.

Thank you so much for this review swap. I will get on yours stat.

Nix


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Review #43, by Gabriella HunterChicks Before Broomsticks: Fast Life

22nd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and I could have sworn that we had exchanged reviews before a while back but I'm not sure if that's true or not. Anyway, it's nice to be reading something different! :D

So, I'm going to be honest and say that I don't really read too much slash but from the very beginning of this chapter, it was something that you didn't put any emphasis on. If I hadn't read the summary, I would have just thought that this was another Romance/Drama type story and you did a really nice job of hinting at Hollie's feelings for Roxanne rather than banging me over the head with them. At first, I got the sense that maybe it was nothing but admiration and you wrote the scene in the boy's loo very well--from my POV, I wasn't sure who Hollie was pining over and that was a really good way to keep me on my toes.

What I liked the most about this chapter though was how detailed it was about the game. I don't really write much Quidditch scenes in my stories for fear that I'll ruin them but you had just enough here to give me an idea of what was going on and it was really well done. I got the feeling that it wasn't just a fad, it was a genuine sport and I really felt badly for Hollie since she wasn't able to really join in. It feels like kind of a step down from her Hogwarts years but I'm hoping that she'll get her chance to shine again, you make being a Reserve player sound very laboring. I'd always had that sort of feeling whenever I was in school--Hollie gives me the sense that she doesn't really feel a part of the team and even though I think she'd be a great addition, she's often ignored. :(

Now, I think that her affection for Roxanne is brilliantly written. I was able to tell that she really cared about her and that it went beyond the physical, your Roxanne here is a lot different from mine and I'm interested in knowing more about her. I hope Hollie will be able to hold in her emotions and find a way to express herself in the future though. The poor thing is torn up!

All in all though, this was a really unique first chapter and I think Hollie herself is tough, vulnerable and sweet all at once. :)

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! Thanks again for swapping with me! (and sorry this response took so long. I'd like to blame work but this time it was actually other fanfiction that kept me busy! forgive me!)

I am so happy that you said that. Like.. unbelievably happy. One of my biggest goals writing any type of slash for any fandom is not putting a big emphasis on it. I'd like to believe I live in a world where orientation isn't a topic but just a fact, and while that obviously isn't the case, in my writing I try to make it one.

That being said, it does somewhat become a pushing point in the plot in chapter two! haha.

I love writing Quidditch :p It's seemingly all I write these days, but I can't stop! I base it a lot on professional soccer.. erm, football, and so I think when you get up to that more professional level, people start to take it very seriously.
She definitely feels left out. It's sort of like stepping out in the real world in a way (well, exactly like), how in school you can be at the top, and the second you get out you're right back at the bottom.

Oh, thank you! In the upcoming chapters I hope you'll be able to love Roxanne just as much as I have loved planning her out. She's going to be adorable! You'll see more of just why Hollie likes her so much.

Thank you so much again, Gabbie! This was such a wonderful review. I appreciate it a lot!

Julie


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Review #44, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: A Dangerous Revelation

21st September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it feels so good to be back. It hasn't been that long since I read the last chapter but I've been really eager about continuing and I love what you've done here. Our Astoria's continue to be the same but yours is so cunning and a bit ruthless when she needs to be! I adore it.

I'm a bit worried about the conversation that she's having with Draco at the moment. THere's something about him that's making me uneasy, it's probably just because he's so calm about everything, he's not rushing for information or making any idle threats. Also, the thought of him in glasses makes me giggle. That had nothing at all to do with anything but I feel like Draco is the one probing for information and playing Astoria, I wonder what will happen next.

Astoria really shocked me in this chapter, I never expected her to actually take this kind of risk. I liked all the canon that you included in this chapter as well but it felt very dangerous while I was reading and I thought of Hogwarts as more of a prison. It certainly added to the feel of the chapter too and by the time she was talking to Ginny, I was really tense. The back and forth between the two of them was really well-written, I got enough of Ginny's character and Astoria's acting was really amazing. I liked that she saw how genuine Ginny was though and told her about what happened to her mother, I wonder if she'll regret that decision later but from the way this chapter ended, I'm more worried about the information that she gave away.

Can't wait for the next one!

Thanks so much for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! I'™m so glad you're back, too!

You probably *should* be worried ;)

Do you think I should cut the glasses thing? It's just how the scene popped into my head, but you're not the first to mention it, and I don't want it to pull people out of the flow of the story. Or do you think it'™s good to let them have a bit of a chuckle there?

I think that, for the people who were back at Hogwarts while Harry, Ron, and Hermione were gallivanting through the country side on the Camping Trip of Doom, Hogwarts probably did feel like a prison. I'm glad that feeling came through.

In some ways, Astoria shocked herself in this chapter. Her self-preservation instincts are strong, but maybe the one thing that can override them is her devotion to her family. The Death Eaters betrayed her mother, and I imagine that Purebloods are very big on things like "the family honor" and avenging the dead. I think of them like the de Medicis in Italy. They don't play. According to the dictates by which she was raised, Astoria had to do *something* once she found out that Lavinia was killed by a Death Eater curse. Her father is in no state to avenge his wife, and her sister is pretty useless. So Astoria does what she always does--she handles it.

Thank you so much! It makes me so happy that you liked that exchange. It was fun to write--tricky, but fun.

Probably you should be worried about that, too. Just worry about Astoria, in general ; )

Thank YOU so much for the review!

--Penny


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Review #45, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Misattribution

19th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm glad to be back! Annett is a genius. I think that she's one of my favorite characters that I've ever read, I love that she's so determined with following through on this prank (I also hope that Yang doesn't get too hurt in the process) while also balancing her views on science. I hope she wins the battle against Cunningham though, what a hag! I can't believe that she read her essay out loud and laughed! I'm not sure how that might turn out but I'm eager to read on.

I liked the progression of time you had going on here, it was really well-done. It seems like Annett's winning Yang over with very skillful traps and I like that she's using her own knowledge of hormones against the boys, it's working well for her.

I wonder if Albus is ever going to tell her that he likes her though? It's obvious that he does but I'm not sure if it's going to happen or not, I hope it does!

Also, Albus and the others are hilarious as well, they seem to be enjoying themselves. James is a bit silly, I wonder how surprised he'll be when he figures out that the amazing prankster is indeed, Annett? I can't wait for that! Hahahaha.

Also, Room of Requirement? I'm really curious now, can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dear Gabbie,

I'm happy to see you again here! :D

Is she really? That's so sweet of you to say, Gabbie! [hugs] Oh you are too kind. It's nice to see someone who cares about Arden. It's also nice to see you hate on Cunningham. She's annoyingly conservative and traditional. And people like these exist in real life.

Oh Albus. . . But does he, really? ;)

I can't wait for you to find out either! That should be fun to write. ;)

Thank you again for such a wonderful review and for reading,
Em


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Review #46, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

19th September 2014:
HellO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm hoping that I'm not that late with this! I was trying to get rid of a cold and it was honestly kicking my butt last night and I was forced to just go to sleep and dream of cartoons and Percy Weasley.

*Ahem*

So, I really loved what you've done with this chapter. It's just as interesting as the first but maybe a bit more because of the fact that we learn more about Lavinia and what resulted in a very suspicious death. I like that when you started out this chapter, you gave more details on her backstory and I was able to get a real understanding of her motivations and her character. She seemed like a very proud, intelligent woman and I felt a bit miffed that she was never allowed to really follow her passion. It brought your world into clearer focus and is, once again, making it plain that the Wizarding world is set in a time that has passed the rest of the world by.

The back and forth that you give with the flashbacks also gave me a clearer understanding of Astoria's position. Knowing about her mother's secret life of course made her far more aware of her surroundings and the actions of others, though it makes me wonder if she would be in some sort of danger as well. If the people who murdered her mother find out about her, Astoria might be targeted next. Or at the very least, her family.

I think that Astoria is very clever but Draco is far more perceptive than she thinks. I'm certain that he's catching on to her but I want to know what she did to backstab the Death Eaters and what that would mean for the future. I hope you go into more detail in the next few chapters because I'm really curious

Astoria's thoughts on Muggles was very well-written and didn't come off as biased at all. I could understand that her reasoning was based off of what she had experienced and seen and while she doesn't care much for Muggles or Muggle-borns, it's obvious that she sees just how evil Voldemort is. She lost a mother and now she's out for revenge. I don't know how perfect that is but it's going to make for a wonderful story so I hope you request soon!

I didn't spot any CC's either so good job!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! This is not late. This was extremely quick! I'm super impressed. I hope you're feeling better! Percy, hmm? Now that's an interesting choice. Why Percy, in particular?

I'm glad that chapter 2 is at least as interesting as chapter 1! And I'm glad that you thought the peek at Lavinia's backstory worked well. Astoria was very much her mother's protege, so I thought it was vital to understand Lavinia if one wanted to understand Astoria's upbringing. Plus, I really wanted to explore morally grey characters and, as you'll see, on the grey scale Lavinia is pretty much charcoal. But I'm really happy that you felt upset on her behalf! She may not be good, exactly, but she is interesting, and I think at least some of her motivations are pretty understandable. Some...maybe less so.

You're clever to pick up that Astoria might be in danger from multiple sides. As ever, I make no promises. But it's a good thought.

I'm really enjoying the way you're reading these two, but I won't tell you if you're right or wrong. I'll leave that up to your interpretation of the next few chapters! I *can* promise you that you'll find more detail about the backstabbing, and what that might mean if Draco were to figure things out.

I'm really glad that Astoria's views came off well! I didn't think it was reasonable that, as a Slytherin Pureblood and the daughter of a Death Eater, she'd be outraged at the way Muggles/Muggleborns were treated. After all, she's primarily out for herself and her family. However, Astoria is an unusually clear-sighted individual, so I thought she'd be able to plainly see that there were very good witches and wizards whose blood was far from pure. She isn't perfect, and I didn't want her to be. Astoria doesn't think she's a particularly good person. Maybe she isn't. But she definitely has some admirable qualities, and plenty of room for growth.


Thank you so much for your very thoughtful review! I'll definitely be re-requesting!

Thanks again, evil twin!

--Penny



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Review #47, by Gabriella HunterReincarnation: Remember

18th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really happy to be back. I was wondering where you had run off to with this story, I thought that maybe you were going through a long editing process or something.

But, yay, you're back! I was really intrigued from the previous chapter to know what had happened to Rose and now that I do, my heart goes out to her. I wonder what had happened to make Scorpius turn her on that way? I thought that the flashback with the two of them had been really sweet and I was under the impression that Scorpius actually liked her. He had asked her out numerous times before so I'm really furious by how things turned out! I'd also like to know who the killer was and if they'll ever find Rose's body or not. I know that her soul is inside of Rhea at the moment but I'm still wondering if her family will ever find her. I hope they do!

Now, Rhea's body is getting Rose some ground to do things that she normally wouldn't have. I wonder how that will play out later on in the story and I can't wait to see what happens! :D


I didn't spot any CC's and I really like what you've got so far! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! I guess I just forgot about re-requesting!

And yay, I'm back! I always have this wide smile on my face after reading your reviews! Thank you so much for the lovely review and do stick around to see what happens next!

Love
Sana


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Review #48, by Gabriella HunterEvolution: Ain't No Sunshine

18th September 2014:
Hello!

Muahaha, I don't think that you were expecting this but I've been meaning to come and look at your work for a while now and never had the time. I would have gotten to it last night but I was a hot mess, my allergies were kicking my butt and I was watching cartoons.

Anyway, on to this! I'm going to be honest and say that I steer clear of James/Lily stories like a plague. I'm not sure what it is about these stories but they never really captured my attention and I think its mostly because I never really cared much for James and thought that his relationship with Lily was a little too perfect towards the end. They went from disliking one another to suddenly dating and then marriage? I always wanted to know what happened in between that and what redeeming qualities Lily saw in James to want to date him in the first place.

Which brings me to this! I read your Author's Note and finished the chapter without stopping because it was so good and I really like where you're going with this. James's constant teasing of Lily when they were younger is explained in a way that I can believe and I like that you steered clear of "insta-love", which is something that happens in a lot of stories here.

What made this chapter really good for me was that I got a peek inside of James's home life (Something we don't normally see) and HIS thoughts on Lily instead of the other way round.

James apparently comes from a good family and is a bit spoiled to me but I don't really think that's a bad thing. Later, when he mentions how Lily called him out for being so arrogant is actually really interesting to me because he had already recognized that in himself and had never thought anyone would have the guts to say it to his face.

I also really enjoyed the canon that you weaved into this chapter as well. It wasn't overdone or too heavy either and it went smoothly with James's thoughts so it felt more like an actual recollection instead of just forced exposition. I really enjoyed this first chapter and I'll most likely be back pretty soon after I take care of some pesky updates of my own, clean out my review thread and destroy this weird cold I have. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Well you are right that I was not expecting it! But it's so welcome - even if you're FAR too kind. I feel very ehh about the beginning of the story really, as it represented my return to any type of fiction after a roughly five-year uninterrupted hiatus.

This story will definitely NOT be "insta-love". In fact, you might become frustrated at how not "insta-love" it is if you keep reading. Spoiler alert: James and Lily still aren't a thing yet at roughly 102,000 words.

Some of the things you've mentioned are things I absolutely want to get more of (and plan to), like each of their home life and obviously James's thoughts on Lily (and vice-versa).

If you knock out those pesky updates and end up sticking with the story in any regard, I would love your insights. I'm a big admirer of your talent so your thoughts would be appreciated.

Also, I AM getting to A Force of Wills soon. My week has been an absolute nightmare so far.

Kevin


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Review #49, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Creative Output: Mischief

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm a day or two late. I was pretty busy and then I had swaps to do and was fighting my enemy, Sir Bad Plot Twist and that took most of my time.

Anyway, on to this! I really adore Annett, I think that you've really created a very unique character where she's concerned. The fact that she's not falling in with the crowd or drooling over the stubble on James Potter's chin speaks volumes for her. I wonder though if she would want to for just a day or two just to see what it was like? It would be an interesting experiment but that's just me. Hahahaha.

Annett looks at the world in a very different way than the others and I think it makes her perceptions really accurate and very amusing. I wonder if she thinks of her classmates as unidentified creatures of some sort? The gaggle of gossiping girls of course is a frightening thing to witness so I particularly enjoyed her thoughts about that. It doesn't seem like she's fond of James that much but I'm glad that she included him in on her plot against Yang. It was pretty hilarious to read about how determined all of them were on duping him and I'm curious to see how it all plays out. Hahahaha.

Now, the science that you included in this chapter when it came to Alchemy was pretty darn brilliant. I love that you weave magic and science so well in this story and I could understand why Annett was frustrated in class, it seems like science is pushed back unfairly in some cases. Blending magic and science together opens up all sorts of possibilities and I wonder how that essay of hers is going to turn out.

Anyway, another great chapter! No CC's or anything to worry about and I'll be waiting for the next request!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dear Gabbie,

Hello again. Bahaha! I would love to hear about how such an antagonistic was able to acheive knighthood. I could cry of laughter if it weren't for the fact that it might be a sensitive subject given that Sir Bad Plot Twist is your enemy and you're currently in battle with him.

Anyway, thank you once more for yet another amazing review!

You'd like to see her in such a conversation, hmm? ;) You know, you just might in an unspecified number of chapters after this one (it's quite close to this one).

Unidentified creatures?! Lol. Well, she does observe them as one would observe strange creatures.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how their duping him plays out [to your review thread once more]!

Why, thank you very much! I do love my science. And once again, you have brought up another event to occur soon. :)

Thank you again for being awesome.

Just as much love (if not more),
Em ;)


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Review #50, by Gabriella HunterImpact: Irritation

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and its nice to meet you! I can't believe that you haven't had this story requested for me...such a crime against humanity! I honestly thought that this was hilarious and very well-written so I have no idea why you would hide such a gem from me. Shame on you.

Anyway, on to this! Now, I don't know what it is about Ceci but I found her wit to be very addictive. There's something very refreshing about a character that doesn't swoon and sigh whenever Albus is around, basking the world in his hunky glow. I like that you've made her health conscious as well, as that is a trait that will make her stand out from a lot of other girls that I've read about--it makes her appear more mature and thoughtful and I'm sure that will come in handy later. What I thought was an interesting little note that you wrote was the fact that she was reading an old Muggle magazine. That shows to me, right there that the old prejudices that you would expect from this story of story aren't there and that the characters are their own people. It was a nice touch.

I also like how you have Scorpius, Louis and Albus in this chapter. They come off to me as just normal boys and their actions are a bit childish but its normal behavior for boys their age and it was so refreshing. I've grown a bit tired of angsty Albus or Prince Charming type boys in fanfics--what boy is so perfect at fifteen that the heavens open up around him? Like...come on! Out of all of them though, I think that Albus's banter with Ceci was very spot-on, there was a certain flirtatious undertone during the entire exchange that was irresistible.

Now, I don't know about anyone else but I think the animosity that she has for Albus is actually pretty accurate. I've read a lot of stories about love at first sight (I also love that little opening line there about how she wasn't that sort of person, it really made me laugh) and it gets a bit cloying, to be honest. I don't believe in it, personally but what I DO believe in is an attraction that you can't deny. The power of it can be so unsettling that it morphs into hate and I think that's what happened with Ceci, the fact that she complimented Albus with the you-look-just-like-your-father line only adding a bit more spice to it.

I'm wondering how Ceci will survive an entire week with Albus in the same house though! I have a feeling its not going to go the way she wants it to and also, just another thing: Albus mentioned that his parents didn't trust him to be alone in the house anymore and that shows a different side to him that I really liked, it hinted that he was no angel at all, which is quite different from the usual things I've read so good job!

Another thing: The bit of backstory on each boy was very well-written and you even talked about the death of Ceci's mother in a way that wasn't overbearing to this fist chapter. I'm sure we'll learn more about that later, I'm curious to know how it shaped her life, as Ceci is filling in that role.

Anyhoo, I loved this and I'm glad that you requested! Don't be so shy about stopping by next time! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, Gabbie! Your review was AMAZING and I am so, SO sorry I'm just now getting around to responding! Between my wedding and honeymoon and getting caught back up with work stuff and tweaking these chapters, things just got so crazy. Anyway, PLEASE forgive me!

It makes me incredibly happy that you thought this chapter was both funny and well-written, and that you took to Ceci as well. I want to portray her as realistic, but not cliche. She's definitely a tad neurotic about things and acts like a bit of a mum sometimes, but I kind of love that about her. I also did want to make the point early on with the Muggle fashion book that things are quite different for this generation, so I'm glad you picked up on that.

I've been trying to base a lot of my writing in this story--especially where the boys are involved--on my own high school experiences so that they do seem a bit more realistic. It's good to know that came off well here. I thought the Albus-Ceci banter was classic, too--definitely the way I always flirted as a teenager. :) Your description of their animosity and the way their relationship has built on top of that is perfect, as well--I feel like you really appreciate what I'm trying to do with these characters and that makes me so happy!

Haha, Ceci barely survived the week with Albus in her house, but it was really fun to write. I have yet to really expound on the reasons Albus ended up staying with the Malfoys, but I intend to show later on why Harry and Ginny wouldn't have trusted him alone and that he (like most teenagers) does have some issues with his parents. I felt like I was reading too many stories where the Potters were this perfect family (which I can completely understand because I've done it, too--it's very difficult not to want that for them, after all), but again, I wanted to make things a bit more realistic with this one. I'm glad you can appreciate that as well.

I'm so, so happy that you think the way I referenced the death of Ceci's mother was well done. I was really worried about saying too much too soon versus not saying quite enough, so that makes me feel a lot better about the way I left things.

Again, thank you SO much for the wonderful review! Next time I won't be so long in responding, I swear. :)

Xo Blair


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