Reading Reviews From Member: Gabriella Hunter
  
767 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Gabriella HunterRabbit Heart: 2. Trusting Hearts

18th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap! Thank you so much for the great review you left for "Grey"! It meant a lot to me, I hope to see you around again. :D

So, I read this a long time ago and yet, I was still able to remember almost everything. I didn't even have to go back and catch up on what I missed! I was already in love with Wren and I could understand her very well but this chapter, especially the beginning just tore at my heart.

I never really saw Augusta Longbottom as a very emotional woman but seeing her crumbling like this was hard to read. It's always difficult to write scenes like this because you know that it's coming from a very private place. Seeing a loved one fading away or even just really ill, takes a lot out of a person and I liked how you wrote that with Wren. She's moved to a whole new area and is out of touch with herself, nothing has that familiar "spark", which makes her being with her Gran all the more painful.

I liked that you weaved in canon so wonderfully here. The information about Frank and Alice was hard to take but you didn't focus so much on that, some writers can really jerk you away from what's happening right NOW but you chose not to. Wren didn't even really think too much about her father's parents but you can tell that there was love there too for them. I do wonder though, what's going to happen to poor Gran in the next few chapters and I thought the details you added in about the potions muddling her mind was a great affect. It seems like there's a lot that Muggle and Healer medicine just can't cure. :(

So, Dillon. I'm going to be honest and say that that little boy gave me the creeps. I just got this really weird feeling about him--he's up to something, obviously but I'm not sure if it's malicious or not. Wren was such a great support for him and it was nice seeing her smile and be a little happy but then we've got that darn bunny at the end.who walks around with a basket of adorable baby bunnies? Like...there's a whole other story there and I want to know more about Dillon's precious Mummy. Ah, I just have this weird feeling that something isn't right...

But on a whole other note, this was great! Your pace was awesome, your characters are realistic and powerful and it's just all sorts of awesome.

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response:

Hi Gabbie!

Ah, chapter two has a lot of heartbreak in it with Augusta's condition. I didn't want to belabor the point. I think it spoke for itself as Wren's difficulties merged with Augusta's. A 95-year-old friend of my mother's told me that growing old is not for the weak at heart. Things start falling apart. There's a lot of frustration when the body doesn't work the way it ought to, not to mention the physical pain. Something always hurts. For Wren's Gran, it's also affecting her on the inside, a place where no one can reach.

Dillon is a special little boy. His rabbits are relevant and you should definitely trust that weird feeling you have. Good instincts should never be ignored.

Thanks for the lovely review! The revisions are up, so if you get the chance to skim through that first chapter again, let me know.

Pix


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Review #27, by Gabriella HunterTengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Fatherís Old Textbook (Prologue)

14th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I'm really sorry that it's taken me so long! I have been ridiculously busy with grown up things and it's a major pain. Hahahha.

So, this was a pretty short chapter! I was disappointed that it didn't last long but I felt like it moved just a tad too fast. I would have liked to have gotten used to Albus and Rose before the actual story began with Hagrid towards the end. What I do like is that your Albus isn't this super confident kid and he's just trying to make the most of the situation he's in. Going to Hogwarts for the first time can't be easy and it's totally unfair that Scorpius and his father have room to bully him in the same place. Like, what?! I'm curious to know when Albus is going to use that Bat-Bogey hex on the little bully though but I'm glad that Rose was there to be a calming force for him.

Draco Malfoy as Potions master? That's something I don't see very often and it's very refreshing! :D

I wonder what story Hagrid is going to tell Albus though. It sounds like it's going to be pretty interesting though! I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi, Gabbie. I'm glad the things around you seems to go well.

I set Rose, Scorpius and Albus to start Magical Creatures' Tale here and I don't know which way to go yet. So everhthing is wrapped in mystery..haha. But I have vague concept in my mind, which will lead the story, so I'll be happy if you keep reading this story from here.

Talking of Draco, I have a plan to set him as the key person of this novella. Harry may enter later...

I'll ask you to leave review from here, again. I hope this story will be longer as I keep writing.

Kenny


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Review #28, by Gabriella HunterFair Agony, Fair Madness: Chapter I : The Burrow

14th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, I'm sorry that this took a minute. I've been really busy and things have been crazy lately!

So, I thought about this story a while back and was wondering what had happened to make your main character split off from the family. There are so many good little clues here in this chapter that have me curious, Lily seems like a very cheerful and upbeat sort of character and I enjoyed being in her mind. It was great to see the family through her eyes and there are some great underlying tension here and there. I was wondering why Victoire was upset, why Hermione seemed so cranky and what was going on with Albus. I feel like they might all be connected and I'm eager to find out more, it's apparent that Albus has vanished like this more than once. What I do really enjoy is the fact that your family dynamics are really strong here, you can see how much Lily loves her family but you also, from the very beginning, know that it doesn't last.

What added to this was the sense that Lily was speaking in past tenses in the italic section. I understand that something major happened and I really want to know what it was, five years is a long time to go without seeing your family you know. I also loved the addition of Scorpius into this chapter and how normal it all appeared, you didn't need to go into this overly detailed thing about how he was friends with Albus. He simply was there and that spoke volumes.

I do wonder what's going to happen once they actually find Albus though. Are Lily's feelings for Scorpius deeper than that of a big brother? Hm...that's also got me wondering. Hahaha.

Great chapter, I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi there,

Thank you again for doing this :hug:

I really loved writing this chapter and I spend a lot of time writing my chapters so that I can have the full effect I want.

I love the fact that I was clear enough about Lily's character you actually felt it through the chapter and that is something that's making me grin right now.

I also love that you liked my description of the family and the general mood in the burrow.

Whatever confusion or questions you have will surely be answered in the next chapters, chapter 3 being currently under construction. But I hope you will come back for more ^^

Much Love,

DaaOne


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Review #29, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Twenty

13th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie dropping by with another review for you! I thought that I would come and attack this immediately because I love this story and what an emotional ride!

I actually like that you started this chapter from Louis's POV. It was nice being able to understand where his love for Darcy came from and what its grown into. I think that was the best part of this chapter besides the middle, you were able to see that Louis wasn't just having a casual affection for his girlfriend. He seemed so much more mature and sure of himself and I think that really played into part later on when he realized that he loved her.

I think that the fact that you added just a little snippet of flashback here proves how much Louis had grown. Max and Gabbie (Hehehehe, little me!) were great additions and they brought up some good points too. Louis was being really childish in his attempt to get Darcy's attention and the fact that he sought her out later because he needed her really showed how much their relationship has changed.

Gah, I was really upset reading about Darcy's confession to Louis. I was worried that she wouldn't let him near her but the moment between them was so tender and perfect that I had to take a deep breath. The feels were extreme...I was able to understand a lot more about Darcy here and I think that Louis finally reached into a vulnerable part of her that she would never have let him see otherwise. I'm worried about Dean too but I hope that all works out!

So, this was a powerful and beautifully written portion of this story and I can't wait to see what happens next!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I'm glad you liked Louis's POV! It was really fun for me to get inside his head, and I thought it would be a good chance for you guys to get his side of things- in particular his reasoning behind being such a prat to Darcy for so long! Haha.
But, now that they do have a good relationship, it's true that his feelings for her are very real. Like you said, it's not just casual affection.
I thought you'd like Gabbie! Of course I had to do something to thank you for all your support for the past few years!
The end of this was really hard to write, but I felt like it was necessary. Darcy really hasn't shown a vulnerable side in this story up until this point, and I felt that it was really important for Louis to know that side of her. Also, it shows why her family is so important to her. That's why she sees her family dead when she faces a boggart, and why her parents' opinions of her were so important when the Towel Incident happened. Her family really does mean everything to her.
You'll find out more about Dean's situation soon!
I'm so, so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)


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Review #30, by Gabriella HunterStori Ophelia: Stori Ophelia

13th July 2015:
HEllo!

This is Gabbie dropping by finally with a review for you! I was really grateful to finally get the time to read this, I've been so busy lately that I haven't had the energy to even get on the site much!

So, I really enjoyed this. It's always great reading about the birth of a character and I think that you captured the worry, fear and love very well. The first paragraph from Rose pretty much sums up what I've heard women say about expecting their first child. There was so much sass and worry in her POV that I could immediately connect with her. I could really see that she was unsure what was happening to her body and because she wasn't due for quite some time, it came off as realistic. I was overdue when my mom had me and my brother was premature so this really struck a chord in me, which is always a good thing.

What I absolutely adored was the relationship that you built with Scorpius and Rose. You could tell that there was a lot of love there and while you didn't go into a lot of detail, their love for each other was authentic. It didn't seem forced or highlighted more than the birth of their child, which gave this a nice balance.

I was really worried about Stori when she was born! It's always so risky having a baby so early and the complications that you included are actually real things that can happen to babies that are premature. I was scared for a while but I'm SO relieved to know that she was all right in the end. Scorpius and Rose stayed strong through the entire thing but I really appreciated the moment when you had Scorpius ask, "What if?" that's something no parent should have to consider but it really made your story have more depth. :D

And the ending...I can't stop squealing about it! It was beautifully written and I felt all fuzzy after reading it. Rose is a strong woman and I think that Stori will be a lot like her from what I've already seen. :D

Great job!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! It was a lot of fun for me to write, even if it was a challenge. It's really reassuring to hear that you thought Rose's POV was realistic. Like I said in my A/N, I'm not writing from experience, since I've never had a baby, but I was born 14 weeks premature, so I took what I've been told about my own birth and tried to apply it to the Wizarding World.
I love writing Scorp and Rose as teenagers (in Oh My Darling), so writing them later in life when they're married was a blast. I think they have a really cute relationship, if I do say so myself. I'm glad you thought it didn't overshadow the main point of the story, though. I was really careful not to do that.
I would imagine that in a situation like that, regardless of how positive you're trying to be, some part of you would always ask the scary questions.
Of course I had to give this story a happy ending! I'm glad it made you get the warm fuzzes :)
Thank you so much for the lovely review, Gabbie! It was so nice to see you around here again, because I always love hearing what you think of my work!
Cassie :)


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Review #31, by Gabriella HunterA Weasley Vacation: On Their Way

11th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review! I thought that I would get to this rather quickly because I wasn't sure when I would have the time to get to it. I've been ridiculously busy and it's such a pain!

So, we're back with Hugo and the gang. I have to say, his sassiness is only amplified by ten thousand in this chapter and I seriously love everything to do with it. Hahahah. I think that his commentary on his various family members is great, they're all so different and unique that it's fun to see them through someone else's eyes.

Holland! I didn't expect that at all. I sort of thought that Arthur would be interested in going somewhere completely random but this was a nice surprise! I have a feeling that things aren't going to go his way though and I'm really eager to find out more about all of the family. Hugo and the rest didn't seem all that enthusiastic about it though but I really think that they might have a nice time if they'd make sure everyone had their diaries. Hahahaha. I'm curious to know more about Albus's obsession with Muggle things, it's actually pretty hilarious to see him being the only one excited about the trip. It adds to the awkwardness of it all and Hugo's just perfect.

The amount of sarcasm in this one chapter could drown a small village. Hahahah. I do wonder what's going to happen once the actual vacation starts!

Great chapter! My only CC would have to be spacing out your dialogue a bit more so it won't seem like one character saying five different things.

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey!

I can't tell you how glad I am that you liked it. Plus, you were too kind, it made me grin like an idiot, reading your review haha. All my chapters are going in the edit for the dialogue to 'spread' better. I'll be back with a re-request. I really do hope you like my story!!

Alec


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Review #32, by Gabriella HunterGame On: Wizard Chess Club - StarFeather - Gryffindor

11th July 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review! I'm happy to finally be able to leave you a review for this story. :D

So, I was wondering what was going on with this story and I'm curious to know if you're going to continue. Ron is usually not a character that people really write about like this and I'm actually pretty happy what you've done here. I think a lot of people forget that he was actually good at chess while reading the HP books but this is a trait that I'm glad that you added here in this.

Apparently, there's far more going on in this story than mere chess. I don't know why but I had a feeling that this was like an invisible battle that was going on between Ron and his opponent. It was a pretty intense read, I think because while I don't know anything about chess, you gave enough information about it that I was sucked into the story.

I think that you have a few grammar things here and there but other than that, you've got a great story here. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #33, by Gabriella HunterEqual Measure Good and Bad: Hearts are broken, Lives go on

11th July 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review! I'm sorry that this is a little late, I'm still going through a move and I've been busy. Tis not what I would rather be doing, you know!

So, you introduced a few new characters in this chapter and I'm very curious about Tom Brady. I know that he is going to be an important fixture to this story, we met him previously, I believe but now he seems to have more purpose. I get the feeling that his interest in Stonehenge isn't merely academic. Hm..

I loved that you started this chapter out on such a happy note. I always like reading about the relationship between Harry and Ginny, they don't really get much love but I like how you developed their relationship here. You gave us a little backstory but enough for us to grasp the fact that Harry has not only matured, but found someone to depend on.

I also liked the contrast that you made with Draco and Harry here. Harry cooked a meal for his wife while a beaming house-elf prepared Draco's, it's those little touches that continue to give your story depth. Draco and Harry are still separated by class and the past, which is something that I'm really eager to see developed later on. I'm also worried about this meeting that Goyle wants with Draco, I'm pretty sure that it's not going to go well, it kind of made my skin crawl...

Ginny has nightmares? What an interesting little character trait to include! I think that form of PTSD is great for someone who faced such horror and I really liked that you had her spending time with Ron too. That's not a sibling pairing we see very often and speaking of, I LOVED the way you wrote his relationship with Hermione. They were playful, stern and comfortable with one another but I think this current job is going to build a rift between them.

The case itself is getting stranger too, I'm eager to know more about it. The wards didn't work? What is going on behind the scenes? I am really anxious to find out and that ending just tore me up a bit! Bill crying is just too much and that quote...ah, my heart kind of shattered but it was very powerful.

My only CC's really would be to be careful of repeating the same sort of descriptive narration and you should add a few spaces in your dialogue so it won't seem like the same character is speaking a thousand times.

Other than that, nice job!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thanks Gabbie... Your reviews make me feel good about my writing... :)

Tom Brady is not a big character in this story. He is just a muggle who had an interest in the Stonehenge (something like a potrayal of how we muggles perceive it to be.)

I guess we writers always add some bit of ourselves into a character and Draco is that character for me. Draco and Astoria are a huge pairing for me to be honest in this novel.

The ending was my version of a cliffhanger. I absolutely love them and I love to keep the reader guessing. ;)

As for the dialogue issues, many people have raised this with me and I shall to rectify these in the chapters I write. I just didn't understand what you meant by repeating the same kind of descriptive narration. If you could just PM me what you meant by that, it would be swell.

Again a hearty thanks for another amazing review Gabbie.

Much love,

Penn


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Review #34, by Gabriella HunterThe Lark and the Nightingale: Chiara Nightingale

10th July 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap! I remember that we swapped a while back and we need to get back into the habit! :D

So, I totally dig the Romeo/Juliet portion of this first chapter. I'm not the biggest fan of that particular play but I really like how authentic it felt, the Italian that you included just made the world seem bigger. What's so tragic about this is that it might actually play a part later on in this story and I'm wondering how exactly you're going to do it. Chiara and her friends are pretty cheerful but I have a feeling that's about to end. Any mention of James and his pals just makes me wince with sympathy for anyone who has to deal with them for too long. Hahaha.

I do like though that you seamlessly time hopped, your transition was pretty good. There wasn't an abrupt leap from the beginning to introducing your main characters so I really liked that, I'm curious to learn more about them all though but I'm sure that you'll do that later on.

Lily and James in the same room does not need to happen but I'm sure it will. I also loved the little nod to the HP books when you mentioned her falling out with Snape. We all know how that turned out but I wonder if you'll change that up a little here. Hm...very curious.

Anyway, I liked this and I'll be stopping by again so don't worry! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!
Yes, we definitely have to swap more often!!! It's a way to keep me reading, too, because I'm such a horrible reader...

Oh, I'm so glad you liked the Romeo and Juliet part, even if you are not a great fan of the play (I am...)
Authentic sounds like a huge compliment, so thank you! And I'm happy you liked the Italian. I was truly scared about it, but most people (those who reviewed, at least) seemed to appreciate it, so this makes me very happy!!! :)

It will play a part in the story. You'll see if you keep reading, no spoilers here... I can tell you that Chiara's life will get pretty complicated soon. And yeah, the Marauders have that effect. I think I have a bit too much fun writing them... :P

Thank you so much, I'm glad you felt the transition worked well.

James/Lily/Snape... A classic... My story is mostly canon-compliant (or at least I hope it is), so there's really no great surprise on that front. But we'll see what happens...

Thank you so much for the amazing review! I really hope I'll see you here again soon!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #35, by Gabriella HunterSaving Severus Snape : i.

10th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swapped review! I find it strange that I've seen you lingering around here and there but have never checked out many of your stories. What a shame! I'm here to make up for it though!

So, this was a pretty interesting read. I don't really get into time traveling stories much but I like the idea behind this one, it's clear that I wasn't the only one who thought Snape's death was more than just a tad unfair. I liked that you had this being Hermione who came to this conclusion, it shows that her mind wasn't completely worn down with battle and death. I also like that her relationship with Snape wasn't much of anything, leaving room for her to bond with him in the past more easily. I know that Snape was unpleasant but he never quite victimized Hermione the way he did the boys. I feel like that really may have warped how she might have thought of him, including of course the fact that he passed away so awfully.

I'm not sure what that sounds like and I hope it makes sense. Hahaha. Anyway, I wonder how Dumbledore somehow knew that Hermione would be conflicted about Snape? He was pretty amazing but he seemed to be ahead of everyone at least three or four steps. Was he regretting his decision to involve Snape the way he did? I always wondered about that but now Hermione is in the past with no clue how to move forward. I do hope that the past Dumbledore will know what to do and what about the boys? Hermione will be gone for a while, I'm sure (That letter hinted as much with all of Dumbledore's sly wit) so I'm curious to know what's happening on their end. :D

Anyway, this was really unique and I'll be stopping by for the next chapter!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #36, by Gabriella HunterOutsider: Friendship and Freak-Outs

5th July 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you with this, I'm currently in the middle of a move and have been super busy. My apologies!

So, we're back to Dudley again. I'm impressed by the time jump that you gave in this chapter, I was unsure how you were going to do that but it was nicely done. I think some people are a little scared of doing that in stories but you just came right out and did it, which was nice. It actually made Dudley's fear of magic even more distinct, he waited for five whole years with Nora displaying signs before he finally accepted that it wasn't going away. Now, he came off as a tad paranoid but there was something a little sad about it all. I know that he wants to do what he feels is right for her but at the same time, that fear is going to hold them both back.

I honestly wasn't surprised when he burned the letter but he should have known that that wasn't going to be end of it. I also liked that Nora isn't just passively sitting by and NOT being angry at her father for what he did. You have given her some spunk, which is great and on a whole other note, I really appreciate the fact that you've made her racial identity a prominent topic.

There isn't a lot of diversity in the archives and when there is, biracial children or minorities are kind of sidelined. There are a lot of issues that I've experienced as a Black woman that many people kind of sweep under the rug when it comes to stories. The general racism and trying to find your place in the world were expressed beautifully through Nora. I simply adore what you've done with her character here, she's not ashamed of who or what she is.

Anyway, Baz! Now, he seems like spunky little guy and I'm really curious about him. I'd love to know more about his backstory and I like the instant friendship that he has with Nora. I'm glad that you were able to have them clicking so nicely, he seems like he would be good for her and vice versa.

Now, that ending...poor Dudley. He doesn't know what to do but he can't control everything Nora does or try to deny what she is now. I'm wondering what will happen next!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! And no worries about lateness, it's perfectly fine. :)
Haha yeah, Dudley is quite paranoid, but he learns to deal with it eventually. After all, he loves his daughter too much to shut her out completely despite her magic.
And yes, Dudley is pulling a classic Vernon throughout this chapter.
Diversity was one of my main reasons for writing this story. I myself am both Pakistani and Indian, and I just feel like people of my race are pretty much ignored in all types of media. Not only that, but a majority of next-gens, especially on this site, have white female main characters.
As for Baz, he is quite an interesting fellow...but first appearances can be deceiving. ;)
Thanks again for the lovely review!!


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Review #37, by Gabriella HunterA Weasley Vacation: Meet the Weasley's!

5th July 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I'm so sorry that it's so late. I was actually in the middle of a move and it's been really hectic lately so I haven't been able to do much for you guys. :(

Here I am though!

I really like that you've written this story from Hug's POV. I don't see many stories that feature him as a main character and this was a nice change, I like the way he's written too. He's sarcastic and witty but at the same time, I get the sense that he can pick up on the little things more than the others. I'm not sure why but I thought that was pretty interesting, I would have liked a bit more detail on him and some of his cousins though. I felt like this opening chapter was good at setting them all up but I would have liked a bit more description. What year are they all in? Does Hugo have any hobbies? Even just a general description of what he looks like could go a long way but he has a great personality so I think that might just be a little nitpick. I especially liked the fact that you have Rose, Dom and the others all so nervous about going on this vacation. Idiots with wands, eh? That doesn't sound good! Hahaha. I wonder what kind of trouble they all get into...

Now, I LOVE that Albus is seriously into Muggle things like his grandfather. I thought that was a nice little detail that fleshed him out more since we didn't get to really see him here. I do like James and while we didn't get to see some of the other cousins, I can tell that you've given them some great little quirks. I'm rather curious about where they're going and what prompted this trip though. Hm...

As far as CC's go, you've got a few grammar things that you can sweep through easily. Hugo says at one point, "Rose, Dom and me." When it should be "Rose, Dom and I." And some of your dialogue should be spaced out more so it doesn't turn into a giant paragraph. Other than that, I like the pace and I'm curious to find out what happens next! Lorietta and Hugo, huh? I'm going to keep my eye on them...

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey there! Well I'm glad you left your thoughts, regardless of that you were a bit late! Really appreciate the review:)

The reason I didn't give more detail on Hugo/his cousins was that this was a very introductive introduction chapter. So yeah, it was just setting up the main plot and characters, I wasn't going to overload the readers with a shit ton of information immediately, I wanted rather to give away info about the characters as you read on, so at the end you really feel like you know everyone.

Also its Loriette* instead of Lorietta, but I'm very glad you're excited for my story! I'd love for you to read what's next! Hope you have no problems against me re-requesting a review for further chapters ? :)

Alec


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Review #38, by Gabriella HunterFair Agony, Fair Madness: Prologue

21st June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I am SOOO sorry that this took a minute! I have been busy and real life was being a jerk. Like, why?

On to this! Your story has a really interesting edge of darkness and mystery. I love a story like that and I'm going to try and piece together everything as I go on. I can't help but wonder what's going on here and I'm hoping that you'll be dropping by little hints here and there for me to pick up on. :D

It's always great seeing Albus in a story and this version of him appears awfully laid back. I've seen a lot of stories where he's shy, awkward (Like mine) or this big Quidditch hunk so this is a nice change. I do wonder what kind of memorial they're talking about here...also, I'm not sure if you're doing this on purpose or not but I would like to know who your main character is. I think just a little sentence or paragraph explaining that would clear up a lot of things but not detract from the mystery that you're setting up. You've got a dark history or some awful past that I'd love to read up on but I think that you need to make it clear who this story is about, just a little. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or broad either, I just need a person to visualize but I am curious as to what the trouble is all about. Why not go back for the memorial? What happened between them all that she would avoid her family? Hm...so many questions.

I thought that this was a good fast-paced first chapter too but a little more detail about their surroundings/clothes and things could help juice it up a little more. There was this little grammar thing that you could take out too: "Since I know no one of these people" should just be "none". That's all that I spotted though so don't worry about it!

Haunt my thread again!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello there !

Thank you so much for the review and I'm happy you liked my prologue. About the main character, I thought about it and I'm going to drop a few hints within the chapters, until my character is ready to come clean *winks*. But I won't make the guessing game dull, so no worries about that !

The prologue was meant to set up the mood for the story, a general context that's not too specific. But hopefully with the next chapter things will start to clear up.

About the grammar remark, I've already went on and edited that part but I'm still waiting for the edited version to be validated.

I'm happy you liked this first chapter and I hope you'll come back for more !

Thank you for the review
xo
DaaOne


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Review #39, by Gabriella HunterPermission: Start Running

21st June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap and what is this madness? We've never swapped before?! What? Tsk, tsk. Well, I'm Gabbie and it's a pleasure to meet you!

So, this was pretty fascinating. I could never write in second person like this, I'm awful at it and I think that you crafted this whole world so well. Getting into Lucius's head and feeling his fear was just too much for me at some point, it made me feel so icky. I think that you wrote this very well though and I wanted to be able to sink right into this story. It's brilliant.

Lucius is a very unlikeable character and I know that he's not the easiest person to write and that's one of the reasons why I love him. I know that his cowardice and fear are elements to his personality but at the same time, his cunning was so beautifully illustrated here. I was blown away but the hissing, pressing threat that was looming over his shoulders...that was some powerful writing.

Throughout this entire thing, Lucius remained a coward though. He has absolutely no dignity and I loved that you didn't stray away from it, he's a selfish person and his fears of being ridiculed forever are more painful to him than being killed by the Dark Lord! I mean, you can tell that he's TERRIFIED but at the same time you know that his pride is eating him alive too.

So...just...wow. I am in love with this! I hope you ask to swap more often! :D

Enjoy the crazy stories on my page!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #40, by Gabriella HunterIvy Manor: Ivy Manor

20th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review for our swap. I'm sorry that I didn't get to this sooner but real life came in the form of my computer kind of dying. I am tempted to cast it into the abyss...

But anyway, this! I think that this was a really unique story. We hardly ever get to hear anything about side characters in the HP world but this is just a really great way of broadening the stories and universe. I firstly really love the idea of Harry and Ginny on vacation together (I always figured that Ginny would be into horses too so that was a nice touch, she's not all about Quidditch, apparently.) I like reading stories where they're prominently displayed as a couple without so much grief.

I'm sure that it'll get in the way but it's great to see them supporting one another and staying strong. I wasn't sure what this story was going to be about as I read but I'm really blown away with this world that you created, it's also refreshing to see that Harry wasn't the center of this. It's a sad look at Frank Bryce, who we all remember from the books and I love the background that you gave for him. He came back from the world war only to lose his life years and years later instead of being recognized for all the good he'd done. That was the most powerful part of this story for me, we don't ever consider who we're losing during the bad times.

Now, what struck me was the fact that Harry went to Ivy Manor. Ugh, I think that he was incredibly brave but at the same time, I can only imagine what it must have been like for him. Ginny remained with him and stayed by his side even while he faltered and the ending just wrapped this up nicely.

So, great one-shot! Also, thank you a bunch for the wonderful review you left for Grey! Look for my reply soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi, Gabbie! Thank you for stopping by.

I really like your writing style, so I'm happy to join your review swap. Let's do this again. :)

Your insightful review is brilliant. I also like your writing style to create the original characters in your story.

Talking of Ginny riding on a horse, it was natural to think of, 'cause her Patronus is a horse, and as you pointed out, she's a very active woman.

I'm always amazed by your enriched words of your stories and reiviews.

Responding this, I'm struck with awe. Because I realize now that we can create any characters through Harry Potter world.

Thank you very much!

:)Kenny


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Review #41, by Gabriella HunterBroken Love: Chapter 1

19th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie stopping by with this random review for you! I thought that I would be wandering back over here eventually anyway to stalk some of your stories and this caught my attention. :D

Ah, I wonder how you were able to write this story without collapsing in a pool of feels. I don't think I've written much about dysfunctional relationships but you've done this very well. We all know that this isn't an easy thing to write and to create a whole story around it is pretty hard. I think that you've given a lot of elements to Lily's relationship with Lysander, you go up from anger to sadness and heartbreak all in one one-shot!

Lysander and Lily seem like they have a strong history of this sort of fighting. It makes me sad and I would have liked to have known why it was this way. I really think that I was interested in knowing more about their relationship, what was it that had them tied together? I feel badly for Lily though but at the same time I want to shake her a little. Lysander seems bad for her in a thousand ways and he sure knows how to manipulate her into doing what he wants.

I really despise men like this and I wonder what's going to happen with Lily. I can't help but think that it could escalate into something really bad if she doesn't get help. What really struck me at the end was how she knew what kind of situation she was in, that just broke my heart. Very powerful writing though and if you were to continue this, I'd be all over it! :D

My entry for the Angst Galore Challenge is called "Grey" if you were interested in reading about Draco Malfoy crying. Hahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #42, by Gabriella HunterIt's All In Your Head: Chapter One

19th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with a random review! Well, it's not very random considering that I was asking for something awesome to read. :D

So, you've captured my interest with this story right off the bat! I hardly ever see stories featuring Lorcan or Lysander and when I usually see them popping up, they're more of a secondary character. I like that you've made Lorcan the focus here and I'm eager to see what you're going to do with his character. I'm already getting the sense that he's a dedicated and serious kind of person but may I say that he reminded me of Percy Weasley? The entire little bit about him glowing over his Head Boy badge just made me squeal a little. I wonder if he has a rather pompous opinion of himself? I would fall in love with him even more if he did. Hahaha.

*Ahem*

I'm sensing that not everything is good at his home. Of course, we're not sure what might have happened before this but I'm getting the feeling that Rolf and Lorcan don't really have much to do with one another. Perhaps they have fallen into a numb sort of acceptance? Or maybe they've merely grown distant with one another? I wonder what happened, though I have my suspicions right now about it...

Apparently you've changed the gender of Lysander in this and I'm really curious! I don't think I've seen this done before and I'm really, really eager to find out more. I wonder what she's like and if their relationship is as forced, Lorcan was obviously not very happy about the news. :D

I liked this so keep me posted! >:)

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Yay, my first review for this story!

Now I have to hold my tongue and not answer all of your questions right away, which is tempting...

I suppose there is a bit of a connection with Percy, but Lorcan does have a very different personality. Yes, he may be a bit pompous, but not necessarily for the same reasons. The way I see it, Percy is very ambitious and his pompousness comes from a place of feeling superior to others based on social power. I see Lorcan as really very intelligent, to the point that he actually feels isolated from others.

I'm definitely glad to hear that you like Lorcan. He's not always very likeable in the coming chapters, but part of my aim with this chapter was to get readers invested in him before we get to that point.

Chapter 2 is done and I'm working on chapter 3 this weekend, though I'll probably update Rules of Motherhood first, because I'm so flattered at the good attention it's getting. I'll update this soon though, so check back!

Thanks,

Sam.


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Review #43, by Gabriella HunterOnly a Dream: Only a Dream

19th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie stopping by and leaving sporadic reviews for you awesome people! I thought that I would give myself a break from angst and hop on over to this because it looked all fluffy and feel-goody. :D

I really love it when people write about a younger Harry. It's such a nice contrast and we get to see how different he is from his relatives while getting into his head more. It's always nice to know that he had such a vivid imagination too and writing from the POV of a five year old is pretty darn brilliant. I don't know how you managed to do that! I was thinking of doing the same with Teddy Lupin at some point but I'm kind of anxious.

What I really liked about this was that even though Harry is being treated horribly by his relatives, he has so much hope. I love that you've written him this way, he's so alone but at the same time, he wants to be a hero. He wants to be loved so badly and that just breaks my heart, he can't even remember anything about his parents but clings to the hope of them. ;__;

I liked that you mixed Harry's imagination with what was happening in his real life. You could really understand what it was like to be him and especially compared to Dudley. It was sad to know that he was isolated like a bad thing and it's hard not to want to scoop him up and run away with him.

Now, the thing that I liked besides Harry's innocence was the thing about his own hero. I like that he thought of who I can only assume to be Dumbledore, being this mystical, powerful person there to save the day. The fact that Harry still remembers, even when he think it's a dream just makes my heart swell up. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #44, by Gabriella HunterBetrayal: The Request

17th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with you review and I am glad to be back. I was really impressed with the way you wrote this chapter, I finally got a few questions answered and the dynamics of your characters are certainly interesting.

I really could feel the animosity coming from the group too. I wasn't sure what was going to happen but I cringed when I imagined how awkward it must have been for the former friends. It's clear that Meredith isn't going to let some of the past go and I was really just dumbstruck by the fact that both sides of the arguments were so dark. Sirius and his group believe that she betrayed them and while information was given to Voldemort, Mereditch feels equally betyrayed by THEM for not believing her innocence. I'd like to know more about that, to be honest but I'll also say that Meredith wasn't very likeable in this chapter and I'm not sure if that was on purpose. I'm not sure if she's just hiding from her true feelings or not but when she broke down a little at the news of their friend's deaths, that was a moment of realism for her. I felt like she was showing her true self. I'd like to see more of that.

I liked the way you wrote James, Sirius and Remus too. They felt very distinct and weren't relying on some of the more generic things that I've seen around. They're all worn out by the war and have no idea what might happen and I liked that you didn't have them all glowing, handsome beasts with tragic eyes. That would have taken away from the realism of this story but here's what I loved the most: The flashback.

It gave me a real idea of who they all were before the war changed them. I can see the immaturity and snarkiness in each of the characters, which helped to emphasize how different tehy were in the present so great job on that!

I do hope that Meredith will be able to work with the guys in order to save her sister. I'm really worried about that and what else they might discover about one another. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #45, by Gabriella HunterBetrayal: An Old Face

17th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I'm sorry for the lateness. I'm not sure if you merely wanted the fourth chapter reviewed but since I promised that I would read two at a time, I read this first! :D

Dun, dun, dun!

So, we're back with Mereditch. I liked the description that you gave early on in this chapter because it shows just how disconnected the Muggle and Wizarding world is. The amount of owls seen flying and soaring around would alert anyone to something funny going on and it reminded me so much for the first HP book. If only the people would have noticed Meredith appearing out of nowhere...now that would have been the topic of some interesting gossip!

I'm curious to know more about Meredith's family and especially her brother. There's obviously some pain there that we're not getting a lot of information on and I'm wondering what kind of trouble he might be in. That's a whole other topic though and I do wonder what she's going to do with herself now that her mission is concluded. There are all sorts of answers, I suppose and then Remus shows up! I could feel their connection all the way down to my toes and I'm SO eager to know what happened between them and what news he'll have for her. :D

Onward, to chapter four!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #46, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Nineteen

17th June 2015:
HellO!

This is Gabbie stopping by again and you know what the deal is right now! Hahah. I was unsure if I had come to the end of this story and when I saw that this chapter no reviews, I was really shocked! I had to stop by and continue reading, getting the sense that you were working up to something big.

I was right! D':

Oh, dear. I'm not sure what to say about this chapter but I seriously didn't expect that ending at all. I was so invested in Darcy's relationship with Louis and wincing as they suffered through their NEWTs that I didn't even think that something so awful was going to happen. I will touch on that later though but for right now, I'm happy to see that Darcy and Louis are still working up to getting closer. I feel like they're taking slow steps towards that and I'm glad that Darcy is able to see how much she cares about him.

What really struck me was the thing that she said about kisses. A lot of people like to blow off the fact that kisses aren't that big of a deal when you're dating but to me they are. There's a difference between a peck, snogging and full on passion. You can't just dump that on everyone and I love the distinction you had here with Darcy knowing that Louis meant more to her than the guys that she had kissed before. That says a lot about her feelings towards him and knowing that they might become even closer was really touching to me.

I do hope the situation with Dominique is resolved soon. I have a feeling that it's going to get worse before it gets better but Louis has held up better than I thought. I hope Darcy continues to let him vent his anger out a little though, it could lead to trouble.

You added a little Gabbie in this story! I have to say that I almost cried a little because I certainly didn't expect it! There aren't even enough words and I think you're fantastic! D':

My feels...

But that ending! What?! Poor Dean! I thought that you wrote Darcy's rising fear well too. Numbness and denial are very real stages of grief and that ending just...I can't. It was too much for me and now I'm very worried! I hope you upload the next chapter soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

P.S.: I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating more for you. I've got an awful writer's block but I'm going to try and get rid of it soon so don't worry!

Author's Response: Hi there!
I've known for a while now that everything with Dean would happen, because I think that that accident, and also Darcy's reaction to it (which you'll really get to see in chapter 20) really let me show why Darcy is the way she is. But before I got to the heavy stuff, I wanted to show a little bit of Darcy and Louis just living their lives and dealing with school and things.
I'm glad you liked the part about kisses! I also think that they're a pretty big deal, and I always read stories where relationships move really, really fast. I wanted to write one that didn't move so quickly, because they do exist! Darcy hasn't really connected with any of the guys she's dated before, but she now knows that she and Louis could really have something, and doesn't want to mess it up.
Poor Dom. Her situation isn't going to be resolved all that soon, but it will get better eventually.
I'm so happy you liked Gabbie! I really wanted to thank you for your support over the years (has it really been YEARS?), and thought that doing a little more than just thanking you in the Author's Note was the right way to do things :)
Again, sorry about that ending. It came really suddenly. The next chapter is in the queue now, so I'll let you know when it's up! I can't wait to hear what you think of it!
Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)


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Review #47, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Eighteen

17th June 2015:
HELLO!

I'm back! I was intending on reading this today after I finished the stories in my review thread but here I am! I'm so sad to see that there's only one more chapter left, is the story completed? Will I no longer be able to swoon over Louis?! D':

Ah, so I see that Louis took Darcy's advice about not doing anything crazy. I do hope that Dominique is going to be able to see that Luke isn't any good for her. I know why Louis would be so frustrated though and I'm really anxious to see what happens, perhaps Victoire will be able to get her to understand. If Luke is that "drunk" and says awful things, then I can only imagine how he is when he's sober. >.>

I liked that Darcy was able to spend time with her family and friends too. The break from Louis was what she probably needed at the moment to sort through how she was feeling and I was glad that it was so peaceful for her. What I really enjoyed was how you wrote that scene, it felt like everything that I did as a kid. I could relate to the entire experience of just lazing about with friends and family after the holidays are over. :)

Bwhaha, Louis is a charmer! I wasn't sure how he was going to react to Darcy's parents but he's just so slick! Hahaha. I was laughing a little at Seamus too because he reminded me so much of George when he's worrying over Roxanne. Hahah. I'm glad that he was reassured that Louis was a good guy and now I'm hoping that Darcy will open up to him even more. :D

LYS AND LUCY!!! FINALLY!

I'm curious to see what happens next so I'm going to hop on over to the next chapter now. I'll see you soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
Don't worry, the story's not done yet! Other than a very general outline, I don't plan my chapters out in advance when I'm writing, so I have no clue how many chapters this story will end up being, but when it gets close to the end, I'll let you know so you're prepared! Haha.
I think between Darcy and Victoire, Louis will be kept in check, and won't go nuts trying to protect Dom. But yeah, Luke is not a good guy regardless of if he's intoxicated or not.
I think when stories focus on romantic relationships, it's also important to show at least a little time apart for the main couple. Even though Louis is a really big part of Darcy's life, she's still her own person and has her family and friends to spend time with.
He knows exactly what to say, and when to say it, but like Darcy says, he's completely genuine. He's not just saying what he thinks will impress Seamus and Padma.
Yay Lys and Lucy! Originally I was going to put this off even more, but then as I was writing this chapter, this really seemed like the right time for them to get together.
Thank you so much for the review! It's always great to hear from you!
Cassie :)


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Review #48, by Gabriella HunterDetox: Turning the Corner

17th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with this super late review for our swap. I feel like I owe you the biggest apology for not getting to this more quickly and I shall repay you with kittens and glitter. Honestly, though, I'll probably just read more of this story and review to make up for this, I hate not giving you guys reviews the same day we swap. ;__;

I am going to be honest though and say that I have been checking up on this story for quite a while. I had a brief hiatus and wasn't able to read or review for a long time but now that I'm able to again I can review the stories that I started reading ages ago. This being an adult thing is not fun...

So, Draco! I remember that I read half of this chapter before but I re-read everything to get back into the swing of things. I am really invested in his character and I love all of the different angles that you've given him. He seems the same on one hand but on the other you can tell that he's become a tad jaded but much more mature. I liked that you still had him holding onto some of his prejudices about Muggles too, I feel like some authors make him out to be this tragic, romantic sex-god and that always felt waaay out of left field. I'm sure that that's a great fantasy but your version of him is more realistic. I'm sure that people who are bigots for most of their lives aren't just going to flip a switch in a day.

What surprised me here though was the offer McGonagall gave him. I liked that they managed to have a talk though and while it was more like a cowboy facing off with a hardened fighter, I really enjoyed that Draco held his own. McGonagall is an intimidating woman but I really enjoyed seeing her softened up just a little in this section. She's also putting a lot of her career on the line by trusting Draco and I think that offering him this job is a test of how much they can trust and rely on one another.

I know that Draco was feeling very defensive about the whole thing but I honestly believe that he would be better suited there. Potions seems to be his strong suit and I winced a little at how he carelessly tossed Muggle Studies behind him. I would have liked to see him trying to make more of an effort to learn but it was clear that it wasn't going to happen. I hope he'll be able to scrape through Herbology though, Neville Longbottom is silently laughing in a corner over this, I'm sure.

When we shift back to Astoria, I can't help but giggle with girlish happiness. I LOVE the way that she's written, she seems like a very real girl and I enjoyed how her thoughts of Draco slipped from worry to moonbeams. It's clear that her feelings for him are developing into something more serious here and their entire section together was all sorts of yum. As a professed perv of the highest order, I declared that you wrote that scene very well. There was just enough connection and physical intimacy to bring them closer together without it being written crudely or rushed.

"Little wizard" is still making me laugh, btw.

Anyway, this ending! Astoria's father is wanting more from her life than she's willing to let go of and I'm worried. I don't want her to look at Montague as some sort of example because Merlin have mercy on my soul...just...no. So much nope is coursing through me.

So much nope.

I hope that she'll be able to convince her father of what SHE wants. Also, I do hope that she won't end up being like MY Astoria either. The Astoria in A Force of Wills would be dead by now if her father learned of some illicit relationship with a boy that he disapproved of.

Anyway, great chapter and I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Friday review responding time!

Trying to keep Draco true to his character from the books while also aging and maturing him in a realistic way was one of the hardest things about writing this. Then you layer in the PTSD and dependency problems and he becomes really complicated. Which is good, I hope. Complicated is challenging. Complicated is fun.

I wanted McGonagall to be hard but fair. She sees that Draco has put in the work to become a better student. She also sees that he's given up on his cowardly, bullying ways. So I think she's willing to reward those improvements to a certain extent. I suspect that she and Dumbledore sometimes talked about Draco, and Dumbledore probably shared his philosophy on dealing with the boy. Now that the horrors of the war are a little farther in the past, perhaps she reconsidered some of what Dumbledore said to her.

Whew!!! As people have read this story, I've been completely terrified of what they would think of Astoria. Because I really don't know whether I'm writing her correctly. I've never been a teenaged girl, after all. I'm also thrilled that you liked the pace at which Draco and Astoria's relationship is progressing. And I agree, the Little Wizard cracked me up to no end.

Astoria's father comes from a different era, and he has very different ideas about what's appropriate and proper for his daughter. That conflict of norms and ideals becomes a major issue as the story moves along.

So glad that you're enjoying it! Thanks for the awesome review!


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Review #49, by Gabriella HunterCatching Captain: Anniversaries

16th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your request. I'm sorry that this took a minute, I should have been here sooner but there were challenges and swaps going on. Plus, I was kind of not awake at some point and had my eyes open for a minute without realizing that I had no idea what I was doing. Try to make sense out of that for me.

Hahaha.

Also, it's nice to meet you! I haven't read a story about James like this that wasn't angsty and filled with teen drama. I like that! This is actually pretty funny and I enjoyed watching the kid's struggling to get along with one another and James's arrogant POV. I think that he has a love for Quidditch that can be a bit much sometimes and I hope he understands that he has to work as a team. There are some power plays going on here that I think will play an important part of the story later and I wonder how that will all work out.

I honestly LOVE the way you wrote the Quidditch games. I have never been good at it and all of this detail is great, it really makes me sink into the story more. I thought that all of it felt really authentic and I was blown away by the fact that you were able to do that without losing your mind. :D

I liked all of the supporting characters that you introduced but I would like to get more information on James and his family. I felt like he almost got overshadowed here and while they were all at the Burrow, it suddenly felt like too many people were being introduced all at once. I do like the fact that they celebrated the anniversary of the battle though, that's a nice touch. All of the relatives and friends coming together for something like that is really nice and I'm just laughing a bit at how James is so intent on being captain! I wonder what he'll do in order to get that position? I wonder when he'll ditch his girlfriend for that horribly mushy letter?!

Hahaha.

So, I felt like this was a good start for your story but there are moments when I think you could have cut back a little. The last few bits of this chapter feel like they could be the start of another and you could always edit those pieces out and continue them later. That's just my advise though.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll definitely take this all on board, and this also made me realize that I haven't really talked much about James himself, or had much interaction between him and his family, which I'll definitely include in the next chapter! Thanks so much for the feedback, I wasn't feeling very confident about this chapter but reading this made me feel so much better about it so thanks! :)

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Review #50, by Gabriella HunterMy Identity: My Mythos

16th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with you review. I was intending on hopping right over to this after receiving your review but then things happened and I was like, "Man, real life is not my friend." But I'm here now and I hope you're ready for some awesomeness!

Hm. You seem to be running away rather quickly...

Anyway, this! I really, really like Andromeda. I have read a lot of stories that feature her but I don't think that they're very common. We usually hear more about Narcissa and Bellatrix and assume that Andromeda was this quirky girl that never quite fit in. I'm honestly not sure what I think about her personality since we didn't get much about her in the HP series but I like what you've done here.

I think that I love most about this is the fact that you've used her name to really get us into her character. You know more about her from how she thinks of her name than you would someone interacting with her. I don't know if that's a weird thing to say or not but I love the fact that it sounds oddly on the tongue and you're not quite sure what to think of her. It's a great parallel for someone growing up in the Black household and I'm sure it's going to be an important factor later on.

I liked the little bit of mythology here that you've added to. She's not a princess but she can hold onto that story for all she's worth because she DOES exist and that's a powerful way to set this story off. I really liked that you didn't have her as this shy, awkward girl either, I sense a lot of personality from her. I think that she's witty, sarcastic and stronger than people have written her in the past. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Aw, thank you very much!

You actually reviewed a chapter from my story The Rules of Motherhood right after we agreed to the swap, but maybe you forgot about that? Or am I confused, because I don't get the running away comment? Either way, thank you very much for TWO reviews!

I had a lot of fun playing with Andromeda and the preconceptions people have of her here. As you can see by this chapter, she certainly feels like she doesn't fit in, but not necessarily with her family.

I'm glad that you like how I structured her and that you could really get to know her by seeing the way she thinks. She does a lot of thinking in this story, haha.

"witty, sarcastic and stronger than people have written her in the past" is absolutely wonderful feedback to receive and really what I was going for.

Thank you so much!

Sam.


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