Hey, there. Its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm sorry that I didn't immediately attack this for you. I feel like I've been ridiculously busy for the last few days and trying to get out of my writer's block and equal laziness. Hahhaa.
So, Devlin isn't really enjoying his time at home, is he? His thoughts are so aggressive and confused, there are hints that he's still debating on leaving but he's turned a tad sly. He knows that they don't really trust him, at least on Alex's end and he admires her for it. Which is interesting. I hope you play around with that later and Emma is a lot smarter than her parents are giving her credit for. Children notice alot of things and I'm glad that you added that last bit in there.
But Draco! Eek, I'm not happy about this. I know that its going to go in the direction that will make me really upset! Ugh, ugh. He's got something planned, I know and I'm not going to like what's going to happen. Hopefully, Voldemort will keep him locked up for a while. D':
So Devlin can shift in and out of form? I was reading that and wondering if he could or not but perhaps I read it wrong? It would be really neat if its true, but bad if he uses that to get out of the house.
Will Geoffery be making another apperance?! Argh, Kingsley was pointing out things to Harry and he's starting to worry me. His heart is just too vulnerable and Devlin is really getting under his skin. :(
As for the last bit with Sirius and Remus, very, very interesting. It was great getting all these characters together and the way they are in Devlin's POV was really fascinating. :D
So, as for CC's! There were a few little grammar things but other than that it was a great read. It flowed nicely and your characters are staying really complex and unique. :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Devlin is sly. I think he admires Alexandra because he's more used to her type of 'compliments' than Harry's. Know what I mean? Basically she grates on his nerves less.
Draco...lol. I hadn't really thought of what people would think of that whole line of thought before I posted it! Which is funny, because I really enjoy making everyone anticipate bad things almost as much as I love good cliff-hanger! But I'll let you in on a secret - it was just Draco thinking bad things. Draco has other plans in his mind that don't require quite as much planning as that would. ;)
Devlin can shift yes - it will become very clear in the next few chapters. And aren't you clever, thinking just the thing I think Devlin is about his wolf form! ;)
Geoffrey will make another appearance in the next chapter actually. This isn't at all easy for the Death Eater. If you recall Voldemort cast a pretty dark spell on him connecting him to Devlin's well being...
I liked Devlin's perception of Remus and Sirius as well and I think you'll enjoy as his perception and opinions about them grow. ;)
I am about to submit the next chapter and can't wait to see what you think about it. Then I just have to edit all the previous chapters to reflect the age difference.
In the next chapter Devlin tries his hand at some Slytherin-style manipulation of his own, inspired by a simply 'brilliant' idea which is inspired by Zee and the backdoor. ;) Report Review
I'm so sorry that its taken me so long to get back to this story, you'll have to forgive me. :( Real life issues, coupled with me wanting to write more of my work and being just plain lazy have kept me from reading and reviewing very much. :p
But here we are with Peony again and she's as dense and hilarious as ever. I think her little bargain with Aberforth was probably the funniest thing because she just didn't seem to gather that anything more suspicious was going on. Honestly, doing her marathons and such have exhausted her alot and she didn't find anything wrong with helping make a tunnel? Hahahha.
The fact that she was still going on about Roderick was hilarious. She feels not like herself with being jilted and that bit of arrogance and girl-angst was great to read--oh, the feels. Sugar quills weren't enough! Hahaha.
And my goodness, how did you write that little scene with her stripping for Arianna without dying with laughter? That was too funny, I swear I didn't see it coming at all and I like the mention of her finch matching her underthings. Hahhaaha. Peony has so much time on her hands and is always color-cordinated. Hahahhha.
On other bits, I think the fact that she's so self-absorbed and sort of silly keeps this going and lightens up the serious moments very well. The bit with Luna and Ginny were so funny and Peony's thoughts about kisses made me burst out laughing.
Ginny and Luna are just super patient. Hahahha.
Mouths taste like mouths.
I think the last bit with her realizing the full horror of Voldemort's regime was really good. While picking on old people and tax evasion is very serious business, the fact that you tied in actual fear in this really got to me. Comedy is always great with a bit of angst and darkness in my opinion and I hope Peony knows what she's doing when she joins the DA. Will she doom them all? Hahhahaa.
All in all, this was a really good chapter. Still funny and I enjoyed Peony's interaction with Ginny and Luna and the little hint of her interest for Draco.
I'm going to be laughing at this all day.
Much love and thanks for the read,
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi again!
Don't worry about the RL issues. I have more than my share of those. I'm just glad you're back and reviewing again!
Peony was definitely single-minded during her conversation with Aberforth. She was desperate to get those teacakes, what with Roderick being such a big disappointment. Girl-angst is just what she needed.
That scene with Ariana was something I really challenged myself with. I wanted to include the cliche of the leading lady prancing around in her underwear, but Peony would never do such a thing without good cause. I tried to make it as innocent as possible, to keep her in character. I'm glad you didn't see it coming either. Haha!
If you get a chance, you can look up the blog titled "Mouths taste like mouths", where I borrowed that line from. It was in my head for months before I found a place for it. I asked the author of the blog for permission to use it almost half a year before I finally posted this chapter. I just knew it would have the perfect place in this story.
I hope Peony knows what she's doing with the DA too. We wouldn't want all of that talent to go to waste and lose the war. That would be a shame.
So happy you enjoyed this chapter!
pix Report Review
Hey, there. Sorry that it took me a minute to get to you, I've been sort of busy and I've been trying to type more and such and get stories wrapped up before I go to basic. Anyway, so we're back with Sirius! It took a minute but he was able to see that something was wrong after a while and the buildup was really nicely done. There was this panicky moment as I waited for him to find out what happened with Mary becuase I really wanted to know if she was okay. I was worried that something really bad had happened in between her getting found and taken to the hospital wing. :(
But at least we know she'll be all right and I liked that Sirius had the decency to be nice to George, even though he's jealous of him and Thalia.
On that end, I love what you've done with their relationship. I never would have thought she'd talk about her father and the way he died to anyone and to share it with Sirius was a really profound moment. There's this brimming attraction between them that I really like and I can't wait to see what happens later on down the line. :3
As for CC's, I think your flow is good, though you could take some bigger dialogue and make it shorter. Other than that, no grammar things that I spotted and I really loved it! :)
Let me know when you update again.
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi! Don't worry I know what life can get like, and it should take priority over fan fiction! I'm glad that you liked the buildup as I thought it was quite boring, but I guess when you keep on editing it, it will get boring! I'm glad that you wanted to know whether Mary would be ok or not, as I wanted to make people worried *insert evil laugh* ;)
Yes I thought even though Sirius can be mean, in situations like this he would be mature, as it's not really George's fault that he was too slow to ask Thalia out!
Yes I thought she wasn't really going to talk about it, but I knew the readers needed to know why. So I thought if she's already upset she would be more likely to say why he died, and Sirius has a complex family as well so it seemed to fit!
Yeah I didn't really know how to cut some of Thalia's dialogue down as it very long at times, so I'll go back and see if any can go!
The next chapter's in the queue so I should be back soon!
Thank you for the lovely and helpful review! Report Review
Hey, there, its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm sorry that it took a minute. I've oddly been busy and sort of lazy so I made sure that I got out of it and used my spare time to leave some actual reviews today. :D
So, we're back with Astoria and a bit of time has passed. I was still able to understand and get into her character though and I like that you didn't stray from the uncomfortable, nasty things that happen in her life.
Her banter with Colin was witty and thought provoking for her I think. He sort of just puts these little ideas into her head and I hope she eventually takes that into account.
But the Dementors! Oh, the Dementors! Argh! I thought that you played on what Astoria was scared of very well. It made me upset seeing her bullied and the weight of that on her shoulders and it coming from all directions was just brilliantly written. It makes her feel so real and I have alot of empathy for her, though I sort of want to punch her sister/mum/ and of course Draco Malfoy. And Pansy too. I can't stand that girl and I think you played on different dynamics very well and can't wait to see where you go with this.
There are no CC's either, I thought that this was lovely, very realistic and took some guts. :)
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hello! Ah, it's fine - and I've been lazy about my review responses too! :3
I wanted to keep things moving, and certainly it would've been difficult writing Lust for a twelve-year-old! ;) (In my head-canon, Astoria's birthday is September.) I also wanted to make her story realistic, and since we know that Draco and Pansy are bullies in canon it wouldn't make sense for them to be saintly - even to Astoria.
Ahh, yes Colin does have an influence on Astoria! She won't take note of all those little tidbits he's been putting into her mind... yet. ;)
Thank you! I didn't like how, from Harry's POV, the Dementors didn't seem to affect the other Hogwarts students bar unnerving them and causing gossip. They broke the rules at the Gryffindor/Hufflepuff Quidditch match; who's to say they didn't do it before then and Harry simply wasn't aware? ;) So yeah, that was the idea that set off the whole Dementor scene!
I'm sorry that you were upset! :( It's great to hear though that you think the bullying was brilliantly written - I so wanted to portray it realistically and I'm glad that you think so! XD Personally, I wouldn't punch Daphne - just Mrs Greengrass, Draco and Pansy. Daphne, to me, wants to support Astoria but has a degree of selfishness that encourages her to remain on Pansy's side to avoid becoming another bullying victim - but she does have -some- good in her.
AWWW THANK YOU!! XD
-Katie ♥ Report Review
Look, first reviewer! Look, world, I'M the first reviewer for this new story. Mwhahahahha. :D
I'm so happy.
Anyway, on to this! So I really like this already, I think you've set up your new female lead in a simple, easy way without all the drama and angst and all the delicious stuff we love. Stori's narration (I see what you did there! Blaise is pleased) was very easy to follow and I liked the bit of foreshadowing you gave in the beginning. Already, she was hinting at things to come and I got the feeling that, with the brief flashback you gave of her Sorting, that things would only get more interesting as I read on. :3
She seems like a really practical girl and I like that about her, she doesn't seem to have her head in the clouds either. And thanks for making her blonde by the way, its always nice seeing a Weasley offspring without red hair. And it gives her more of an edge I think, but maybe that's just me and I'm thinking about her dad? Hm. But there's some sort of spunk that can be brought out a little more but I think I'm going to have to keep reading to see. ;)
I loved the family dynamics that you showed in this chapter too. There wasn't any of that cliche tension between Ron and Scorpius about him being a Malfoy and they honestly seem very happy. :D
That's always great to see.
So, her group of friends! You've got some interesting characters going on here and I'd love to know more about them and their backstories. :D
Is there something going on with her and Andrew perhaps? :3
Oh, the questions...
And way to leave a cliff hanger too! I was enjoying the happiness and you threw in some trouble with that last quote! Can't wait to read on! :D
Really enjoyed this and I only spotted like, a few grammar things at the end but other than that it was smooth sailing. :D
On my end, I might be tossing one-shots your way because I'm having a block. Stay patient! :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie! I'm thrilled that you're the first review for this new story! I'm really glad that you and Baise like Stori as a lead, and that you're enjoying her narration. She's a fun character, just because she's such a real teenage girl, who has some extraordinary circumstances in her life (like going to Hogwarts) and you're seeing how she deals with them on a daily basis.
I'm really glad you liked that I made her blonde! Both the Malfoys and the Weasleys have such distinctive hair, that I went back and forth for a while, but I could picture her better blonde, and ended up coming back to it so often, that that's what I decided on!
I'm so glad you like her family and her friends! Her friends are really fun, because they're all such big personalities, and there will be plenty more of them for you to read, so you'll be able to get to know them.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, and I hope that you like where I go with it. And I have a new banner for it now, too! I'm not sure what I want to update next, but I'll keep you posted! See you on the forums!
Cassie :) Report Review
So, its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm so sorry that I'm late. I would have read all of the stories in my thread but I've been annoyingly busy and such. So this is the story that you had mentioned to me on the forums? I see what you've changed here and there if this is the same story and I think that I liked the idea you were going with. I was really horrified while I was reading this to see Emylina being held on display in front of her entire village and being tortured. I wasn't able to figure out what was happening and I really loved the build up of suspense you showed. It was very well-done and I got a sense of her character very well from the first few paragraphs. On some things, she felt a tad passive and I think, given the situation that you might not have needed it. But I think you were going more for disbelief, which worked out better towards the middle when you decided to speak about her relationship with her father. The bits about the village made me think that this is a period piece and I'm not sure if you meant to make it that way but it was really interesting! :D
In the Wizarding world its hard to tell though! But her family being capable of magic and then abusing their power really struck out to me. It seems like it came back to haunt them and Oh! Abandoned after getting pregnant?! More problems and plot grips I see! I was so thankful that the strange man DID come to help her after she'd been tortured by her father but apparently, her father is a wanted man! Now you've got me curious! :D
I wonder what you're going to do next, since Emylina has to marry the man. I hope you give alot of detail and such into that!
As for CC's, I think you should add in a few words ahead of a sentence to make it flow better. Like, "Difference was" could just simply be, "The difference was," and the sentence would flow alot easier. There were some spelling things but a quick read will take care of those!
Otherwise, this is a pretty interesting story, I really like your idea! :D
Thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hey Gabbie! Im glad you got around to reviewing =)
glad you liked the story! its quite a complicated plot and Emylina is really impassive about things since thats just the type of person she is actually :P
You will see more about her father and James as the story moves on =)
I fixed the sentences so it could flow better. thanks for pointing it out !
thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Hey, there, its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm sorry that I didn't get to this right away! I've been annoyingly busy. :p
So this was simply beautiful writing all around for me, I've never read anything like this and not from Narcissa's point of view and I really enjoyed what you've done here. I could envision everything that she did and could picture her standing there in that ballroom and the image really broke my heart. I think that making it a point to talk about the ones left behind on the Darker side was a good way to go. There's always so much talk about the heroes and while I could care less about most of the Death Eaters, I have to wonder how their actions affected their family. It left dust and memories and you set that up so wonderfully and I enjoyed going through Narcissa's mind. There was so much love and beauty there and so much sadness and the details you added in with each character really had me thinking hard about the sort of people they had been or could have been. Brilliant. I got the sense of time here, too, though I would have liked a tad more, just a little hint of how long it had been and where was darling Draco? Though he wasn't really her concern just then, I would have liked to have seen what consequences he was dealing with and how it hurt his mother. That's just a minor, minor thing though, as the rest of this was just brilliant, I really choked up a little while reading about the three sisters. I think that sort of closeness is sort of ignored with some fanfics and the fact that Narcissa really even thought of Andromeda at all really showed how much she still loved and missed her. Not understanding why she left of course but the love was there and it touched me so much that I kind of had to take a deep breath. :)
Seriously, though, this was amazing and the imagery is so vivid and clear. I have no CC's for this, just that its a shame its a one-shot! :D
Thanks for the wonderful read.
Gabbie Report Review
Its me, Gabbie, with your requested review and thanks for the great read. :D So, there aren't alot of Astoria fics out there for some reason and I find that that's a real shame as she's a character that you can do alot with. :D
Your Astoria comes from noble, pureblood blood (Say that five times fast, eh?) but even with that I loved that you gave her very real insecurities. She felt like a real little girl to me, especially in the beginning when she was hiding from Draco in the place she felt the most comfortable--with her grandfather that is. LOVED your description of Draco by the way, he was just as I imagined a younger version of that little beast to be and I'm glad that Astoria didn't have a crush on him, as that would have been typical. Her grandfather just astounded me with how amazing he was and the moments between them were just the sweetest.
Everything about Astoria is something different and I really enjoyed what you did with her character and her relationship with her family. Eerily, it reminded me of MY Astoria in my story, even down to how she's described and I had to wonder if you were digging in my head and sharing brain waves.
But other than that, haha, I really, really loved the contrast that you made with her and Daphne, it was such a good view into their relationship and what society expects of them.
And what's this? Astoria stealing books from Colin Creevey? I really liked that conversation she had with him, while brief, had alot of power behind it. Think for yourself, was the message there but Astoria didn't follow it and those last few lines were so arrogant...so desperately arrogant that I had to applaud. Excellent writing, I can't wait to see where this story goes! As for CC's, I actually didn't spot any, I like the way you have this written from her POV and I liked the world you've built around her. She's like a pretty doll that's being puppetted around against her will or something, I really loved that bit of vulnerability you gave her. So, continue and feel free to re-request whenever you like! :)
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie!
Yup, I totally agree! We know the facts of Astoria's life, but we don't know the emotional side of it. It's perfectly plausible for her and Daphne to hate each other and claw each other's eyes out on a daily basis, and her marriage to Draco could've been voluntary or it could've been planned... there's just so much ambiguity about her and I'm loving that in this story. ♥
I don't think that just because you're a pure-blood means you don't have bad things happen in your life - just look at Draco, and he's a Malfoy. Aww, thank you! Yup, I wanted to avoid the whole "in love since they were kids" scenario, and love/hate relationships are always the most fun anyway! ;) If you re-read your review, "just as I" is right above "Astoria didn't" and the first time I read your review, I thought you said "just as I have a crush on him"... :3
Yup, Astoria loves her grandfather. Caspian Greengrass is the best! ♥
Haha, really?! I'll have to check out your Astoria story sometime then! *puts it on mile-long to-do list* And of course I am, because hey, great minds think alike! ;)
Technically Astoria didn't -steal- the book from Colin, since he said she could have it if she wanted. :P And Colin turns up in chapters two and three too! Yep - she definitely has more in common in Draco than she thinks (and will never admit to)! Ahhh ahhh ahhh thank you so much! ♥
Btw, Astoria -is- a pretty doll being puppetted around against her will... I am making her do what I want for this story, after all! ;) And there's a re-request waiting for you on the forums!
-Katie ♥ Report Review
Hey, there, I said that I would be back with a review for you. :)
So things have started to progress a bit with Aunt Rowena and like Bea, I can't help but scowl at what she's telling them. There's not an ounce of kindness in that woman and I felt their pain and sort of hoped that Bea would run around in her underwear or something. Just to do it but that didn't happen, though she did give a good demonstration of their aunt later. :D Hahahhah.
So, Addie is starting to get a little worried about Dezzy and did I detect some attraction from her when her sister was talking to her? Hm? :3 Perhaps? Hahhaha. I hope nothing happens between them that will tear them apart, it would really make me upset! Darn, Addie.
And their dad finally came home and I think you played on poor Dezzy's emotions so very well. It was so hard to see her that troubled and the meeting with their father was just so awkward. I mean, he didn't hug or kiss them at all and poor Dezzy, she was so nervous about what had happened in his letter and seeing him acting that way only made it worse. :(
But, they went to see Salazar and I think Addie is right, Dezzy can't seem to see that some people might be bad. She should be more caerful. He really creeps me out...
Anyhoo, I loved this as usual and can't wait for your next update! Your pacing and all that was great and I just adore Dezzy as a main character.
P.S.: Benjamin says he hopes to see you tomorrow, as he and Roxanne should be back up by then. :DAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I really have a hard time writing Aunt Rowena, and the King, too, because they're just so cold and don't understand the girls at all! It takes me a while to get into the right mindset to write them, so I'm happy you think I did a good job getting their personalities to come across!
Addie isn't as worried about Godric as she is about Salazar, and I think that she was right to talk to Dezzy about it, especially because Dezzy is so trusting when it comes to people she doesn't know all that well.
And then the King returned! I really did play with Dezzy's emotions when she saw her father again, because she knows what to expect from him, and she doesn't want those expectations to be true. The fact that they are right, and that he is as distant and as cold as she thought he would be really hurts her. Seeing him after getting that letter really made her a puddle of nerves.
And then they returned to the pavilion, to dance their cares away! And Salazar creeping you out, huh? I won't say whether or not that intensifies in the future... Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :) Report Review
Hey, there, I'm here with your requested review, you attacked my thread so quickly, I didn't know how to react! Hahha. So, I really enjoyed this chapter and think Thalia is such a great lead for this story. She's got so much strength and despite her relationship with her mother, she hasn't become cold or hard or bitter. The relationships with her friends are sweet and realistic and I loved that she got bullied into having that makeover. And her date with George went nicer than I thought! :D Until Sirius was being all rude! Thalia showed a bit of surprise at seeing him with another girl and I wonder if she was a little jealous? Hoping? :3
Sirius needs to buck up and reveal his feelings for her soon or George will win! Hahah. I liked the little bit at the dinner too, with the bats! Hahah, that's such a James/Sirius thing to do! :D
But goodness, that ending! What?! Mary! D':
It was so sudden and horrible that I had to read it over again to get a grip on it. How awful!
I hope the person who did this to her gets what they deserve!!! >:(
Anyway, all in all this was a great mix of funny and angst and who doesn't love and need more of that?! Thanks for the read and thanks for your review on A Force of Wills. Not sure if you want to read it still or not but Abandon will be up tomorrow hopefully. Check that out if you so desire!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi!
I just saw their were spots free and ran for it! Yeah I wanted to show that despite how Thalia's mother treated she didn't follow the same path as her. I guess that was done to create more similarities between her and Sirius, and how they both show great mental strength in that respect.
Haha yeah where would you be with friends who didn't want to give you a makeover, after all they are so much fun to do! And I'm glad that you liked her and George's date.
I can't really say who will win, yet as that would ruin the story but in a couple of chapters time, things will get interesting ;)
Yeah you'll know who does if, if you think back to the Prince's Tale, as it mentions it there, and I thought it would be cool to include, as it would make the story more canon.
Yeah I would have reviewed more chapters, it's just with school and the long chapters lengths, I only have time for one at the moment, but I saw your request and I'll do it soon :)
Kiana! Report Review
Hey, there, its Gabbie with your requested review and let me just say that I love this story. Its actually very witty and, though awkward, more realistic than some other fanfics that I've read regarding the "new girl" syndrome. I think Charlie's narrative really sums up how I would feel, as I have been the new girl many, many times in school. All of her anxities were both funny and understandable while trying not only to stay out of Rebecca's way but also, oddly, trying to fit in. I think there's more going on with Victoria, I've got this really fishy feeling and not because I just finished eating salmon patties. There's something dark going on and the added addition of Aine and the two ducklings (Loved that one of the girl's name was Lavender Patil! I thought I was the only one who did that!) only adds to the mystery. :3
And what an awkward party. Charlie's POV is sooo funny and I really loved seeing through her eyes and how lonely she was. Though he didn't do it on purpose Albus sort of made her feel even worse after he left, I could really picture that scene in my head. Charlie standing by the Black Lake by herself. :(
Albus seems like a sweetie but his reaction to Victoria being gone has got me wondering. I wonder what's up with that? Hm.curious, curious things.
Anyway, this is really good! Really, really good. I love your characters and the plot, which I hope will continue to be just as fantastic!
Keep up the good work!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thanks for another awesome review! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so far, and that you think it's realistic. I'm trying my best to stay away from cliche stereotypes, but I've a feeling a few might have slipped in there at some point.
I'm really glad you like Charlie's POV-it's a lot of fun to write and it's awesome that you like the other characters too!
Courtney:) Report Review
Its me, Gabbie here with your requested review and its good to be back. I had favorited this story but haven't had the time to get to reading it again but regardless, here I am. So, Charlie's journey to healing has been a really long one and I'll admit it, I didn't expect him to go to America. I thought that he might just hide out somewhere in Britain but of course, his family would have found him rather easily if he had. For some reason, though I can really picture him in New England more than I can anywhere else and the contrast between the Muggle world and the Magical one wasn't as hard to grasp as some fanfics. I think the lack of magic that he had to deal with and his own need to just block all of his pain out, went well together. The experiences were different in the Muggle world but the grief was still there and I'm glad that you didn't shy away from that. It was very good.
But on to the rest! I thought he would go home after a minute but Liz proved to be a bit of a surprise! :3 I think you've given me enough little details here and there about her character to make me really interested. And Charlie was so attracted to her that he was almost shy! And fumbling? Interesting! :D I can't wait to see how they meet up again and he forgot to take his ship home, huh? Hehehe. Something to break up the daily routine is something he needs and I hope Liz helps him through it or, he can get past his grief on his own. :D
And, no CC's! Everything was lovely and thanks so much for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi there Gabbie!! Thank you so much for coming back to review this chapter, and for getting to it so quickly! ♥
I really felt like the fact that Charlie's departure to America was unexpected made it all the more amazing, although I'll admit that I was little worried that readers would find it unbelievable. At this point, I honestly can't even remember what made me pick Rhode Island/New England as a good place for him, but I do remember looking up ports to see where ships disembarked in the U.S., so that probably had a lot to do with it. :P
I'm really glad that the whole "Muggle World" and "grief" things worked for you and weren't hard to grasp; that's another couple of things that I was concerned about with this, so thank you for mentioning them!! :D
I certainly hope Liz is a good surprise, and I'm glad to see that she's got you interested! I really can't wait to see what you think of the next 2 chapters!
Thank you again for your amazing and thoughtful review!!
Hey there, its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm sorry that it took a minute for me to read this, I would have done it yesterday but I was typing and foaming at the mouth. :p
So, we're back with this really unique story! I was happy to get another perspective on that wedding and I really enjoyed going into Sapphire's mind, she's really funny, actually. In a really dry, sarcastic way and I think there's some boldness about her that makes her dialogue really great to read. :D
Now, I liked the little dancing bit between her and Al but I could have done with a bit more detail on their relationship. With all that was happening at the wedding, I would have also liked to have seen it described so I could picture it a little clearer but that's not a major thing. I think her banter with Al was really funny and I thought that you were hinting at some feelings between them before they were rudely interrupted! On that note, I would have liked to have seen some reaction from Al and more detail on who he danced. If they were switching partners, like you said, I didn't really get that because Fred just showe up out of nowhere! >:D
Ooh, and so naughty, isn't he? Hehehe. His conversation with Sapphire was hilarious and speaks of more than one time he's bullied her a little. They've got some sparks between them that I'd like to know more about! Hehehe. I've never seen Fred the Second described in this way before so I thought that was a really interesting change you've made for him. :D
I'm wondering if he and Sapphire are going to have more moments together. But that ghost! OMG, what a jerk! I swear, I wish someone would get rid of him! He's having too much fun with this!! And argh, what is she going to do? Have a baby?! Seriously?! Ugh. I mean, god, what to do? I think you've got some great plot bunnies to work on and I hope you go through with them. :)
That's all that I have to say! I shall see you on the forums my dear and hopefully hear from you soon on Abandon! *Flies away*
Thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hey Gabbie!
I am glad you liked this =) I didn't want Fred to be the same as in every other story so I changed him a bit =) I added who he started dancing with and all of that jazz :P
We will see more Al and Saph later but for right now thats all :P
I will try my best! Thanks so much for reading =) Report Review
Hey there, its Gabbie with your requested review. Sorry that I didn't come here sooner but here I am and what a ride! I think the way you started this chapter from Devlin's point of view was really well-done. He has a very mature mind for someone so young but there were hints of the child he had been underneath the animosity. I think you also showed very well the difference between how Harry reacts to him versus Alex, she didn't try to treat him like a child, she actually spoke to him like she would anyone else. I'm really worried that Harry is letting his heart get in the way of what needs to be done and Geoffery was another surprise! I could tell that he does care about Devlin and that Devlin, despite himself, cares about him too. They're all they have and I think you made that very clear in a way that was just vivid and wonderful. :D
So, Remus bit Devlin?! That came as a shock and that little fight escalated so quickly but then...Devlin passed out! I can't believe that he's still suffering so badly from being cursed and tortured, but it makes sense. I loved all the detail that you put into that and how much pain it caused him and his parent's panic. There were so many wonderful emotions churning around and I think you wrote it so well! :D
What are Harry and the others going to do with Geoffery down the line? I'm assuming that you've introduced Hermione and Ron in this now as well? Curious. But that little bit with Remus, I need more information on it! So many questions!
This story just fascinates me, I enjoy the realism and darkness around it and what you've done with the canon characters in an AU universe. I can't wait to see what happens next for them all and how much danger they'll all be in once Voldemort or some darker thing gets in the way. And that ending! No, Devlin, don't try to escape! He's a sly little boy and he's so scared of what's happening around him but he's going to be in for a surprise if he thinks leaving is going to be easy. :D
Thanks for the read! Oh, and there were only two or three grammar things, everything else is perfect!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Yay! I look forward to your reviews!
I wanted to start by saying I am editing the story to up Devlin's age from 4 to 6 and then from 8 to 9(almost 10). I'll be putting a notice on chapter 6 and then it will just be a matter of editing the chapters. I feel this will appease some of my readers and it is a compromise I am willing to make - I won't change Devlin's character.
We all know Harry wears his emotions on his sleeve and everywhere else and I'm glad I was able to show the difference between the two. It's really important to me that my OC's seem real enough and especially Alexandra because she always seems the hardest - probably just because we know so much about Harry, so pairing him with an OC practically means you have to kinda 'prove' you know as much about the OC...if that makes any sense.
Geoffrey is fast becoming a favorite of mine ;)
Woot! I was waiting for you to comment about the Remus thing. lol I used to have a mini side story about the actual incident and right now I'm just trying to decide if I should post it as a separate one-shot or include it in a chapter.
"What are Harry and the others going to do with Geoffery down the line?" I don't think they are even sure of that yet. We learn a bit more about their intentions in a couple chapters, though.
Hermione and Ron will be introduced to Devlin shortly.
"This story just fascinates me, I enjoy the realism and darkness around it and what you've done with the canon characters in an AU universe." *blush* Thanks!
Devlin Escape? Hmm...Well, if I'm honest, I think Harry would be in for a surprise if it weren't for Alexandra who has made him ward the entire house as if they were imprisoning Mad-Eye. ;)
Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter.
Its Gabbie here with your requested review and please excuse me while I wipe the drool off my face! I had been meaning to stop by, not only to bug you for no reason but to read this story to see how your Draco compared to mine (Its not stalking, is it?). But aside from that, this was super amazing fantastic! I think I was hooked from just that first paragraph, your Draco just seems so real and I thought your characterisation of him was just excellent. I don't even know how far I can go on about it but it was brilliant, I got that sense of haughtiness, a bit of childishness and his pride just made me wince. Though he's sometimes written in a really nasty way to show just how mean he can be, you had some traces of humor thrown in that I really appreciated. Some of his lines made me actually smirk a little and I'm so thankful for a bit of laughter with all the darkness going on. Great canon bits and I loved seeing how Draco viewed Umbridge and his fellow classmates. Hahah, and I loved that bit with Ginny too, she really hexed him good! Nice of him to run off and leave his mates, though, right? Haha.
There was so much detail that you put into his home life and the War itself, the changing world was so vivid that I was just speechless. The hierachy of pureblood society is something that really fascinates me and I tried to do it in my Draco/Astoria but I don't think I went in the direction that you did. I can honestly say that I would have seen this information somewhere in the actual books, it was just that good!
Now, on to the rest! Talk about me blushing like a twelve-year-old girl! Gah, I had to actually fan myself a little reading that little thing with Pansy and oh, my GOD, his ego. How'd he fit that gigantic head into his dorm?! The fact that he sort of cares about Pansy came across a little to me but he lost me at the end when he was talking about having her as a mistress. Sticking to tradition is important to him and really shapes his character, I LOVED what you did with that. :D
And that ending...thanks Snape for coming in and scaring naked kids! HAHA. OH, I thought your writing of him was spot on, he's a character that is so hard to write and I've never even dared to try it in any of my stories. (I've practiced and cried over how awful I write him) You just amazed me to death with this and I favorited this! Whoo! Love me some angsty Draco. *Coughs* Anyhoo, this was great, thanks for requesting this for me! :D
Ha, I'm still blushing.Author's Response: You're going to give me a big head, you know that? A great big head and I'm going to have to get an air valve installed on the back of it. Not that I want you to stop or anything. ;)
I am beyond pleased that you liked the way I characterized Draco. I tried so hard to keep him true to the way I remember his character from Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix. I really don't like fics where the author turns him into an over-sensitive emo puppy dog or a fiendish arch villain. Draco Malfoy was neither of these things. He was a spoiled, snobby rich kid whose father filled his head full of all kinds of self-important rubbish. And that kid has a lot of very harsh growing up to do...
I tried really hard to paint a realistic picture of how I think he would have interacted with the other spoiled, rich kids of Slytherin House. I do think that hierarchy and pecking order were very important in pure blood society. These people measure their self-worth in terms of how much they have, how long they've had it and who they can claim to be related to. For a kid like Draco, who is the product of two ancient and noble houses, his station in society means everything to him.
As much as I enjoyed writing the dorm room scene with Draco and Pansy, it was also terrifying. I spent quite a bit of time picking Staffers' brains about exactly where the boundaries for such a scene should be drawn, and I found that those lines were a lot fuzzier than I was hoping for. Suffice it to say that the first draft of that scene was much stronger than the one that you see here.
Ah, Snape. I love writing the guy. He's not that intimidating if you just watch Alan Rickman's scenes in the movies and really let him get inside your head. Or course, you may find yourself being snide, petty and condescending to everyone for the rest of the day. At any rate, I thoroughly enjoyed writing that scene.
I'm really glad that you enjoyed this. I'll definitely be back to re-request. Report Review
Hey, there! Sorry that its been FOREVER. I had stuff in my review thread, no cupcakes, real life issues, no cupcakes and I'm trying to get some of my stories up and done. Okay. Enough of that.
WHAAA?! I'm not sure where I'm going to start but I guess the beginning should be talked about first, right? Charlie is really going to have to be careful and I really feel sorry for Connor, though I'd had a feeling that the boys sending him an owl was a bad idea. Those Just like Magic people must have been watching him and waiting for just that and I know that they felt so stupid after they really thought about it. :p
Greg is going to be one busy guy! I'm just still sooo curious on this weirdos, I keep making guesses and then being proven wrong. You're distracting me with wonderful writing! ARGH! Anyway, I hope the boys stick together through this and I really don't like the thought of them being separated. Just got this feeling that they'll each have an interesting time alone. D':
But Greg has to really think of what he has to do. Is he going to report this immediately or handle this on his own? What's going to happen to the boys when he does?! So many questions...so many questions and that ending! Like, what?! Oh, and everyone gets mad at ME for cliffhangers!! LIES! Just simply wonderful. And I have nothing to say about nothing, I'm such a fan of this and update soon, would you? Nathan and Charlie are going to need some help, that mysterious figure was wearing a mask. And mask-wearing creepy people coming out the darkness are really worrisome.
Oh! Misfits are back. Check that out when you can.
GabbieAuthor's Response: *Evil laughter*
There have been clues... very, very subtle clues, which you might have noticed or skimmed over. You might also have swallowed a red herring or two. Either way, there are no simple answers coming along here.
One more chapter is up for this one - but slow progress at the minute due to reality taking over... Report Review
I'm back! I had favorited this and by the way its Gabbie in case you're wondering why imps and thunderstorms are happening around you. *Ahem*
So, Edie's interview with Oliver did not go as planned and I'd had a feeling that it wouldn't. With her luck, I figured it'd go downhill pretty fast but Merlin, Oliver is a GIT. I'm not sure if he acts that way while drunk or semi-sober but he's just...blegh. I really can't explain it! Hahha. And poor, Edie, she was hoping for some in-depth interview with him and got something that was more gossip than anything. She should be really careful with that, by the way. Its going to bite her in the bum. :D
But as for her thing with Lisa in this, I sort of winced in sympathy for them both. While Edie is single, her friend is getting married, she's still single, Lisa is getting married and wanting to support her but Edie is STILL single and not having a good go at her work. But Lisa honestly surprised me when she said she liked what Edie had written! I wonder how others are going to like this? That ending had me a tad worried you know.
But Rose. Ugh. She's so irritating! I would have hexed her on the SPOT and I commend Edie for having more control than me. >:(
I was sad to hear about the Goblin strikes though, I hope you continue talking about it, it means alot to Edie and I want to see those female goblins being treated right! :D
But Rose...ugh. Again. I mean, she's not taking this seriously at all and if she starts salivating all over Oliver, I'm going to pop. Edie is the one that can take the fall, all Rose has to say is that she stole it or that she had "no idea". :p
Anyway, I don't have any CC's for this, I enjoyed it very much. Its still funny, its got this irritable realism to it with Edie's day to day life and plus, there's that ending. I will be reading on! :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hallo!
Yes, yes it is indeed going to bite her in the bum ;3 Just like pretty much everything she tries to do in life, hehe.
I think Lisa is above all of the gossip column-y type stuff, but she thought the actual writing within the article was well done. And a lot of readers thought she was unrealistic and too perfect, so I wanted to show that she has negative thoughts too :D
Oh God, Rose is just the worst. There's no other way around it. haha
And yes, the FGC strikes will definitely be a recurring theme throughout the story! I just love Grimma Longfinger too much, even though she's nothing but a little flicker in the story at this point.
Thanks so much for the review! I'm excited that you want to read on! Report Review
Hey there! Its Gabbie of course with your requested review and we're back with Sirius. He's got alot more depth to him than I've seen in some other fanfics and I really enjoyed delving into that side of him. The fact that he's worried so much for Remus was enough for me to see that he's not so bad, not really. Lily surprised me in this chapter though, I thought she would have been a bit more upset/worried about Remus. But I guess she knows that Sirius and his friends will take care of them and I'm so thankful that you didn't make her some furious, ranting Prefect by the way. That would have been too much, she seems lovely and I can see why James likes her. Sad for him though. Hahaha.
So, Sirius is starting to get a little something for Thalia? I liked that you had him thinking so much about it, its great knowing how he feels about her and your writing was lovely. :D
Aside from James making a fool of himself and Sirius feeling as if he has to compensate in order not to face his OWN problems, you have me really curious about your characters. Not only does Thalia have some secrets of her own, Sirius himself has something that needs to be explored. I wish that he would admit to his own feelings at some point! Boys! Pshaw.
Okay, as for CC's! BUUUM! The only thing I can say is that your sentences went on for a little longer than they should have. A few periods and some commas in the right places will clear that right up. Otherwise, it was a nice read and your pacing and flow were great. You're hinting at more to come in teh future chapters and I love guessing so great job!
Thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hey Gabbie! Yeah I always thought that Sirius had more of a deep side than most people think, as he just seems to be brooding all the time! Yeah well I imagined all the boys to be really close, and really care for one another, obviously not openly! So that's probably why his thoughts are deep, as he can't say it in the open without being laughed at!
With Lily I just imagined that she knew what Remus really was, just not how badly he gets hurt, so when she does seem him, he's recovered and he had James and Sirius's help, so that's why she's not as concerened. Though Lily may take being a prefect seriously, I think she realised this wasn't the time to do that as Sirius was hurt and worried!
I'm glad that you liked Sirius's thoughts, as that's part of the reason why I chose to change the POV, as I always want to know what the other person's thinking, so doing it this way everyone can know, and laugh at how they don't realise what the other person's thinking ;D
Yeah most of the characters do have some secrets, and it's more fun to be like that:D And yeah when would boy ever admit to his true feelings ;D
I know I hate proof reading, but I really should as then I won't have to be constantly told by you to add more breaks! I will get round to it.eventually ;D
Thanks for the lovely review, Kiana :D Report Review
Hey, there, its Gabbie with your requested review and pleasure to meet you and all that jazz. So this is very interesting! I've never read anything quite like this before, and certainly not with a witch being able to see ghosts. I suppose not many people wanted to touch on that since at Hogwarts, there were dead people everywhere. :D
But Ellie is different from that and the way you have it written is very nice, its not so dark, so much as sort of funny. I liked the beginning with her great-grandmother too, and am thankful that you didn't have her screaming and running away. She seems pretty determined for a kid!
As sad as it was, I thought your opening with her and Chris at seventeen was a little touching. They seem very close and I enjoyed reading about them and I have my worries for their Dad. I hope you play around with that a bit more, he seemed really out of it. :( Can't blame him though.
But anyway, Albus! Whoa, what a change he is! I have never read a cocky, sexy Albus before and I must say that I enjoyed it. It was very unique I think and his banter with Ellie was hilarious and Scorpius Malfoy is in this too? I do love me some Malfoy men. :3 Hope to see him soon! ;)
But I LOVED what you did with Rose. She seems like a normal teen, not so much high strung and its great that she's different from her mother when it comes to fortune telling, something Hermione couldn't stand. Hahahaha.
I thought with the fortune tellling with Ellie was well-done, a little creepy and weird. I mean, I sense some good foreshadowing going on and I really loved how you wrote it. :D
So, I didn't spot any major CC's! I loved this and I think Ellie and this world you've given her are great.
Much love and thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hello! And I assure you, the pleasure is all mine!
It's pretty exciting to know that you find my story a little unique - especially considering the love/hate dynamic I set up already!
I aimed to make Ellie (and by extension, this story) sort of funny - I don't particularly enjoy writing angst, because I'm so bad at it, and it makes me feel horrible, so I want to keep it light, but have some action and adventure as well!
The scene with Ellie and Chris was really difficult to write, actually (ergo, it was so short), so I'm glad that you found it to your liking! I, too, worry for their dad, so of course I have some ideas for him!
I'm sure you've read a sexy Albus before. There are a lot of sexy Albuses out there! But yeah, it didn't make sense to me that he'd be this total nice and sensitive guy - you just couldn't if you hung around James that much! Also, like James, Albus too, has Marauder blood running through his veins! And who doesn't love some Malfoy men action?
I really tried to make Rose as normal as possible. I didn't want another Hermione - with Ron's genes thrown into the mix, it just wasn't possible!
The fortune telling scene was supposed to be a little creepy and weird - because fortune telling is a little creepy and weird, at least, in my opinion, so I'm really glad that you liked it!
Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
Hey, its Gabbie here with your requested review and I'm sorry that I didn't immediately attack this, I've been annoyingly busy.And there are no cupcakes. :(
But anyway, this is pretty interesting and I really love Charlie. She's like this spunky, sarcastic monster that I found completely hilarious and oddly likeable. I think with you having her being homeschooled for most of her life really adds to her personality and why she acts the way she does. And her family is pretty odd too, I really enjoyed reading about her parents. The fact that she doesn't want to go to Hogwarts and intended to show it just makes me see that she's really stubborn. It was actually pretty funny imagining her pouting and frowning the way she was and once at Hogwarts, she was just so awkward. You don't say "Okey Dokey" to McGonagall! You cower in fear and pray she doesn't dock points! But how could she have known that? The way you've written this from her POV makes Hogwarts feel very fresh and new again and I really loved it.
But there's some mystery going on here and I must find out what it is, its killing me. From the way McGonagall was acting, this Victoria girl didn't just go missing, she had something a bit darker going on. I love a good mystery! And how awkward must it be for Charlie to have her old dorm and be confronted with her pictures? Eerie, I think and that ending! WHA?! See, now you've got me wanting you to re-request. Do IT.
I loved this. I think Charlie is a very unique OC and I really loved that you didn't make her a Mary Sue, that would get so boring. There were only a few grammar things but I thought your pacing and flow were great! :3
Thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review! It was like a bright spot on a day that has so far been spent nursing my awful sunburn!
I am so happy you like Charlie and her character-she is definitely a bit awkward, especially in that scene with McGonagall. I will definitely be re-requesting!
Thanks so much again!
Courtney:) Report Review
Its me, Gabbie with your requested review and I'm super sorry that I didn't attack this sooner but I was doing grown up stuff and foaming at the mouth because I had writers block.
Anyhoo! So, this is pretty interesting. I had noticed on the forums that there was a Titanic challenge, so is this a part of that? If so, then you just made my entire day! I LOVE that movie. Such a fangirl for it and while thsi isn't based on THAT, I really did enjoy this first chapter. I was really feeling for poor Elizabeth though, her life seems to have been moving in a very sad direction. I do love how tough she is, she's got some great steel and I know that she's had to learn that the hard way. The brief glimpse into her relationship with her sister was nice too and it was great seeing her have a softer side. I hope that you go into more with that because I think they have so much to say to one anotther that's unsaid. Anyway, what a mean little thing! She knocked Jeremy good, didn't she? He was just teasing but she really took it the wrong way and knocked him flat! Hahaha. It doesn't seem like he minds though, he was perfectly friendly to her after that! :D
I think you've got something pretty unique here and I enjoyed reading this so thanks so much for the read! There were only a few grammar things but I like the flow and pacing of this, you're not hitting me over the head with the fact that, sadly, Titanic will sink. :D
Keep it up!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Haha, I know I shouldn't, but your firt sentence had me laughing. Loud.
This wasn't originally a part of that, but I've submitted it as such. I loved the movie as well, but I'm not attempting to transpose it into the magical world, not as such. This isn't going to be about social difference, for example.
Yes, there will be more Elizabeth and Mathilda moments, don't worry! And plenty of time to say unsaid things too...
Elizabeth is quite a nasty human being when she decides to, I completely agree. Poor Jeremy -- it's a good thing he doesn't hold grudges too much.
(Yes, the Titanic will sink, as much as I'm tempted to go AU).
Thank you for this awesome review Gabbie :) Report Review
Hey there, its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm sorry that it took a minute, I had some really annoying real life issues. And I had to update for all my WIPs and blah, blah, blah, I need more cupcakes.
So! Onto this! Harry is really taking a risk, isn't he? I was so moved by how you described his emotions, I thought they were so powerful and touching. Heartbreaking, but they left an imprint on me and I was really feeling for Harry, he's letting his heart get the best of him now. What he wanted to do was so dangerous that I couldn't really believe it at first but after a moment I sort of could understand where he was coming from. Its been four years since he's last seen his son and knowing that he can finally hold him was too much. Though Geoffery did surprise me, I think he might have just used this opportunity to his own advantage to escape with Devlin. Not sure why, but I think he really cares about him underneath all the darkness and fear around them. I'm hoping that he'll be all right though, Voldemort will not be pleased when he discovers what he's done and the other Death Eaters are going to pay the price. I think you played on all of that SO wonderfully and the relationships you've given me between Harry and his family versus the life Devlin and Geoffery has was so well-done! ;)
As for CC's, your pacing is amazing, your characters great and thought provoking. You've got a few grammar things but nothing that a quick proof read can't fix. Thanks for the great read, I added this to my favorites! :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: First off: *hands her a batch of freshly made cupcakes* I totally understand annoying life issues getting in the way.
Thanks you SO much for the review! Eee! ...and yes, I actually said that when I saw you had reviewed!
Geoffrey is not an especially NICE man, of course. He reminds me a bit of what Rowling said about Snape, that if Harry hadn't been Lily's child and if he hadn't had her eyes, Snape wouldn't have protected him at all. If Devlin hadn't been a werewolf Geoffrey would have never made this bond with him and- well I shouldn't say more about that here, you see more about it in the next chapter!
I think Geoffrey knows that his usefulness is limited by Voldemort's trust -which often seems near existent. If he was captured by Aurors and returned, Voldemort would kill him anyway, because his usefulness is with the boy and Voldemort wouldn't risk having him around Devlin if there was any doubt. So, I think he left Harry certain he would die and when he had the opportunity, he took it, because he figured that death at Potter's hands would be less painful. I can't wait to get all the stuff I have written UP. If you enjoy Harry and Geoffrey's characters I think you'll really enjoy Devlin - from his perspective.
:D :D @ you favoriting the story!
Don't mind me as I buzz over to your thread and re-re-request! :D Report Review
So, I wasn't lying when I said that I was going to read this right away. And here I am! So, Darcy was going to spill the beans on Lys's feelings for Lucy! I kept cringing and twitching at the thought because I had a feeling thta it wasn't going to end well. But she kept getting interrupted, which was hilarious by the way. I wonder when that will happen though? Perhaps Lucy will figure out Lys's feelings for herself OR she already knows and doesn't feel the same way?! Argh, the questions! But Lucy did bring up a funny thing to Darcy about Louis actually liking her. She sort of freaked out though so I'm wondering if that denial is going to bite her in the bum later.
And I didn't have to wait long for it either! Oh, Louis, you are just the most annoying git ever! Hahah, I love him. He seems so comfortable with himself and annoyingly confident! Darcy was just suffering far too much for her own good and then, how dare he blackmail her! Slytherin traits! He and Benjamin would get along just fine!! Hahahaha. And Darcy said yes? What is she thinking?! I have to know! She's going to regret this...she's going to pound him into the ground! Hahahhaha. Can't wait for the next chapter, I really, really loved this!
On my end, expect your precious Blaise soon and after that, I'm going back to Audrey and her Weasley. And then Merlin help me, I'll update for something else. :D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie! It's great to see you back with Louis, Darcy and the rest of the gang! Haha.
Darcy REALLY wanted to tell Lucy about Lys, and wasn't happy to be interrupted! I think it will continue to aggrivate Darcy until Lucy knows about Lysander's feelings for her, even though Lysander is too scared to say anything! But you'll just have to wait and see what happens with those two :)
I think Darcy is totally shocked because she would never expected Louis to actually like her after he annoys her so much. So the fact that Lucy brings it up and then persists with it just drives Darcy crazy! And then in comes Louis to seal the deal! haha. Louis is no stranger when it comes to blackmail, and clearly isn't afraid to use it when he wants something. And I think that is one reason he and Ben would be such good friends! Maybe Ben gave Louis some tips on how to get girls... There's a scary thought! ;) And Darcy's reasoning will all be explained in the next chapter so don't you worry!
I might write a one-shot before starting a new story, because I finally decided which plot bunny to continue with! Haha. Thank you so much for the amazing review! See you on the forums!
Cassie :) Report Review
Its Gabbie here with your requested review! *Hands over cake and sweets* Its nice to be back reading this, I had wondered what would happen after the last chapter I'd read. So there's so much going on here that I just don't know where to start first and I think I'll just go on about Geoffery for a while. There's some slynesst o him that I like, as he isn't sure what Harry and Sirius are going to go do with him, he's playing his cards while also keeping some hidden. The fact that he knows more about Devlin than Harry could at this moment just puts him in a position to give out as much information as he'd like. But the information he gives has me wondering just how far he'll be willing to defy Voldemort. :D Naughty of him!
Harry is the one I'm worried about though. He's sort of allowing his hope to get the best of him but he should be careful, from what he saw towards the end, his son is no longer HIS son, you know? Scary stuff and I feel sorry for him and Alex. D':
Such a curious world you've set up and I really enjoy it! Werewolves and Devlin turning into a little monster, its such a contrast to what I expected and the fact that Voldemort knows so much more about Harry and the rest makes me cringe. Its not over yet! :D
I think, as for CC's, there were a few grammar things but aside from that it was gold. :D Your pacing was great and your characters are very unique and like I said, I love this world you've made.
Thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Oi! I thought I had written a reply to you here but I guess I hit the all important 'submit' button. ;)
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing - it's been great to have a continuous reviewer to get a good idea of how it's progressing.
Geoffrey is shaping up to be one of my favorite characters to write, next to Devlin, of course! He definitely hasn't simply 'switched' - as you'll see from his behavior later on.
Harry is definitely letting hope get the better of him - and more so in the next chapter when he starts planning.
Devlin - I can't wait to introduce him in 'person' and not in memories!
Thanks again, Gabbie! Report Review
Its Gabbie here with your requested review. *Dances around* So we're back with your Sirius and his gang of friends skipping class to watch a Quidditch match! Not surprised by that at ALL. Hahahaha.
I'm wondering if Sirius and Marlene are going to get closer at some point. I was sort of sensing that they had some interest in each other in this chapter so I'll be curious to see where that goes but with Sirius you can never be sure. ;)
Anyway, I hope that all that running laps has done something good for Jame's chances of getting onto the team and everything. :D I wouldn't be able to do it!
I was glad to see Sir Cadogan back! I don't see him too much in fanfiction so it was nice getting a glimpse back into his madness. Hahaha. Also, I'd never seen a character act it out with him either so that was pretty smart of Marlene and Sirius might have to get some pointers from her. Hahahha.
So, as for CC's! Bum, bum! I think the only thing you really need to watch out for is just adding in some periods or commas to break up your sentences more. There were some little grammar things I think but nothing too major that a quick edit couldn't fix! Keep at it!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thank you for coming back to review it means so much :D
The original chapter 2 didn't actually have the quidditch matches, but when you suggested it in the last review I thought "That's a good idea"!
Lets just say Marlene and Sirius will eventually have a very complicated relationship. And if (i'm not saying it will happen) they ever do get together it won't be until later chapters.
I actually got the idea of Sir Cadogan from another fanfic, they did a one-shot of him and I just suddenly thought to put him in mine.
Thanks so much, this weekend i'm planning on going over them and editing everything :D SO thank-you! *hugs* your such a great help
-Kelsey Report Review
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