Reading Reviews From Member: Gabriella Hunter
  
730 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gabriella HunterFair Agony, Fair Madness: Prologue

21st June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I am SOOO sorry that this took a minute! I have been busy and real life was being a jerk. Like, why?

On to this! Your story has a really interesting edge of darkness and mystery. I love a story like that and I'm going to try and piece together everything as I go on. I can't help but wonder what's going on here and I'm hoping that you'll be dropping by little hints here and there for me to pick up on. :D

It's always great seeing Albus in a story and this version of him appears awfully laid back. I've seen a lot of stories where he's shy, awkward (Like mine) or this big Quidditch hunk so this is a nice change. I do wonder what kind of memorial they're talking about here...also, I'm not sure if you're doing this on purpose or not but I would like to know who your main character is. I think just a little sentence or paragraph explaining that would clear up a lot of things but not detract from the mystery that you're setting up. You've got a dark history or some awful past that I'd love to read up on but I think that you need to make it clear who this story is about, just a little. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or broad either, I just need a person to visualize but I am curious as to what the trouble is all about. Why not go back for the memorial? What happened between them all that she would avoid her family? Hm...so many questions.

I thought that this was a good fast-paced first chapter too but a little more detail about their surroundings/clothes and things could help juice it up a little more. There was this little grammar thing that you could take out too: "Since I know no one of these people" should just be "none". That's all that I spotted though so don't worry about it!

Haunt my thread again!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello there !

Thank you so much for the review and I'm happy you liked my prologue. About the main character, I thought about it and I'm going to drop a few hints within the chapters, until my character is ready to come clean *winks*. But I won't make the guessing game dull, so no worries about that !

The prologue was meant to set up the mood for the story, a general context that's not too specific. But hopefully with the next chapter things will start to clear up.

About the grammar remark, I've already went on and edited that part but I'm still waiting for the edited version to be validated.

I'm happy you liked this first chapter and I hope you'll come back for more !

Thank you for the review
xo
DaaOne


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Review #2, by Gabriella HunterPermission: Start Running

21st June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap and what is this madness? We've never swapped before?! What? Tsk, tsk. Well, I'm Gabbie and it's a pleasure to meet you!

So, this was pretty fascinating. I could never write in second person like this, I'm awful at it and I think that you crafted this whole world so well. Getting into Lucius's head and feeling his fear was just too much for me at some point, it made me feel so icky. I think that you wrote this very well though and I wanted to be able to sink right into this story. It's brilliant.

Lucius is a very unlikeable character and I know that he's not the easiest person to write and that's one of the reasons why I love him. I know that his cowardice and fear are elements to his personality but at the same time, his cunning was so beautifully illustrated here. I was blown away but the hissing, pressing threat that was looming over his shoulders...that was some powerful writing.

Throughout this entire thing, Lucius remained a coward though. He has absolutely no dignity and I loved that you didn't stray away from it, he's a selfish person and his fears of being ridiculed forever are more painful to him than being killed by the Dark Lord! I mean, you can tell that he's TERRIFIED but at the same time you know that his pride is eating him alive too.

So...just...wow. I am in love with this! I hope you ask to swap more often! :D

Enjoy the crazy stories on my page!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #3, by Gabriella HunterIvy Manor: Ivy Manor

20th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review for our swap. I'm sorry that I didn't get to this sooner but real life came in the form of my computer kind of dying. I am tempted to cast it into the abyss...

But anyway, this! I think that this was a really unique story. We hardly ever get to hear anything about side characters in the HP world but this is just a really great way of broadening the stories and universe. I firstly really love the idea of Harry and Ginny on vacation together (I always figured that Ginny would be into horses too so that was a nice touch, she's not all about Quidditch, apparently.) I like reading stories where they're prominently displayed as a couple without so much grief.

I'm sure that it'll get in the way but it's great to see them supporting one another and staying strong. I wasn't sure what this story was going to be about as I read but I'm really blown away with this world that you created, it's also refreshing to see that Harry wasn't the center of this. It's a sad look at Frank Bryce, who we all remember from the books and I love the background that you gave for him. He came back from the world war only to lose his life years and years later instead of being recognized for all the good he'd done. That was the most powerful part of this story for me, we don't ever consider who we're losing during the bad times.

Now, what struck me was the fact that Harry went to Ivy Manor. Ugh, I think that he was incredibly brave but at the same time, I can only imagine what it must have been like for him. Ginny remained with him and stayed by his side even while he faltered and the ending just wrapped this up nicely.

So, great one-shot! Also, thank you a bunch for the wonderful review you left for Grey! Look for my reply soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi, Gabbie! Thank you for stopping by.

I really like your writing style, so I'm happy to join your review swap. Let's do this again. :)

Your insightful review is brilliant. I also like your writing style to create the original characters in your story.

Talking of Ginny riding on a horse, it was natural to think of, 'cause her Patronus is a horse, and as you pointed out, she's a very active woman.

I'm always amazed by your enriched words of your stories and reiviews.

Responding this, I'm struck with awe. Because I realize now that we can create any characters through Harry Potter world.

Thank you very much!

:)Kenny


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Review #4, by Gabriella HunterBroken Love: Chapter 1

19th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie stopping by with this random review for you! I thought that I would be wandering back over here eventually anyway to stalk some of your stories and this caught my attention. :D

Ah, I wonder how you were able to write this story without collapsing in a pool of feels. I don't think I've written much about dysfunctional relationships but you've done this very well. We all know that this isn't an easy thing to write and to create a whole story around it is pretty hard. I think that you've given a lot of elements to Lily's relationship with Lysander, you go up from anger to sadness and heartbreak all in one one-shot!

Lysander and Lily seem like they have a strong history of this sort of fighting. It makes me sad and I would have liked to have known why it was this way. I really think that I was interested in knowing more about their relationship, what was it that had them tied together? I feel badly for Lily though but at the same time I want to shake her a little. Lysander seems bad for her in a thousand ways and he sure knows how to manipulate her into doing what he wants.

I really despise men like this and I wonder what's going to happen with Lily. I can't help but think that it could escalate into something really bad if she doesn't get help. What really struck me at the end was how she knew what kind of situation she was in, that just broke my heart. Very powerful writing though and if you were to continue this, I'd be all over it! :D

My entry for the Angst Galore Challenge is called "Grey" if you were interested in reading about Draco Malfoy crying. Hahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #5, by Gabriella HunterIt's All In Your Head: Chapter One

19th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with a random review! Well, it's not very random considering that I was asking for something awesome to read. :D

So, you've captured my interest with this story right off the bat! I hardly ever see stories featuring Lorcan or Lysander and when I usually see them popping up, they're more of a secondary character. I like that you've made Lorcan the focus here and I'm eager to see what you're going to do with his character. I'm already getting the sense that he's a dedicated and serious kind of person but may I say that he reminded me of Percy Weasley? The entire little bit about him glowing over his Head Boy badge just made me squeal a little. I wonder if he has a rather pompous opinion of himself? I would fall in love with him even more if he did. Hahaha.

*Ahem*

I'm sensing that not everything is good at his home. Of course, we're not sure what might have happened before this but I'm getting the feeling that Rolf and Lorcan don't really have much to do with one another. Perhaps they have fallen into a numb sort of acceptance? Or maybe they've merely grown distant with one another? I wonder what happened, though I have my suspicions right now about it...

Apparently you've changed the gender of Lysander in this and I'm really curious! I don't think I've seen this done before and I'm really, really eager to find out more. I wonder what she's like and if their relationship is as forced, Lorcan was obviously not very happy about the news. :D

I liked this so keep me posted! >:)

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Yay, my first review for this story!

Now I have to hold my tongue and not answer all of your questions right away, which is tempting...

I suppose there is a bit of a connection with Percy, but Lorcan does have a very different personality. Yes, he may be a bit pompous, but not necessarily for the same reasons. The way I see it, Percy is very ambitious and his pompousness comes from a place of feeling superior to others based on social power. I see Lorcan as really very intelligent, to the point that he actually feels isolated from others.

I'm definitely glad to hear that you like Lorcan. He's not always very likeable in the coming chapters, but part of my aim with this chapter was to get readers invested in him before we get to that point.

Chapter 2 is done and I'm working on chapter 3 this weekend, though I'll probably update Rules of Motherhood first, because I'm so flattered at the good attention it's getting. I'll update this soon though, so check back!

Thanks,

Sam.


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Review #6, by Gabriella HunterOnly a Dream: Only a Dream

19th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie stopping by and leaving sporadic reviews for you awesome people! I thought that I would give myself a break from angst and hop on over to this because it looked all fluffy and feel-goody. :D

I really love it when people write about a younger Harry. It's such a nice contrast and we get to see how different he is from his relatives while getting into his head more. It's always nice to know that he had such a vivid imagination too and writing from the POV of a five year old is pretty darn brilliant. I don't know how you managed to do that! I was thinking of doing the same with Teddy Lupin at some point but I'm kind of anxious.

What I really liked about this was that even though Harry is being treated horribly by his relatives, he has so much hope. I love that you've written him this way, he's so alone but at the same time, he wants to be a hero. He wants to be loved so badly and that just breaks my heart, he can't even remember anything about his parents but clings to the hope of them. ;__;

I liked that you mixed Harry's imagination with what was happening in his real life. You could really understand what it was like to be him and especially compared to Dudley. It was sad to know that he was isolated like a bad thing and it's hard not to want to scoop him up and run away with him.

Now, the thing that I liked besides Harry's innocence was the thing about his own hero. I like that he thought of who I can only assume to be Dumbledore, being this mystical, powerful person there to save the day. The fact that Harry still remembers, even when he think it's a dream just makes my heart swell up. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #7, by Gabriella HunterBetrayal: Chapter 4: The Request

17th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with you review and I am glad to be back. I was really impressed with the way you wrote this chapter, I finally got a few questions answered and the dynamics of your characters are certainly interesting.

I really could feel the animosity coming from the group too. I wasn't sure what was going to happen but I cringed when I imagined how awkward it must have been for the former friends. It's clear that Meredith isn't going to let some of the past go and I was really just dumbstruck by the fact that both sides of the arguments were so dark. Sirius and his group believe that she betrayed them and while information was given to Voldemort, Mereditch feels equally betyrayed by THEM for not believing her innocence. I'd like to know more about that, to be honest but I'll also say that Meredith wasn't very likeable in this chapter and I'm not sure if that was on purpose. I'm not sure if she's just hiding from her true feelings or not but when she broke down a little at the news of their friend's deaths, that was a moment of realism for her. I felt like she was showing her true self. I'd like to see more of that.

I liked the way you wrote James, Sirius and Remus too. They felt very distinct and weren't relying on some of the more generic things that I've seen around. They're all worn out by the war and have no idea what might happen and I liked that you didn't have them all glowing, handsome beasts with tragic eyes. That would have taken away from the realism of this story but here's what I loved the most: The flashback.

It gave me a real idea of who they all were before the war changed them. I can see the immaturity and snarkiness in each of the characters, which helped to emphasize how different tehy were in the present so great job on that!

I do hope that Meredith will be able to work with the guys in order to save her sister. I'm really worried about that and what else they might discover about one another. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #8, by Gabriella HunterBetrayal: Chapter 3: An Old Face

17th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I'm sorry for the lateness. I'm not sure if you merely wanted the fourth chapter reviewed but since I promised that I would read two at a time, I read this first! :D

Dun, dun, dun!

So, we're back with Mereditch. I liked the description that you gave early on in this chapter because it shows just how disconnected the Muggle and Wizarding world is. The amount of owls seen flying and soaring around would alert anyone to something funny going on and it reminded me so much for the first HP book. If only the people would have noticed Meredith appearing out of nowhere...now that would have been the topic of some interesting gossip!

I'm curious to know more about Meredith's family and especially her brother. There's obviously some pain there that we're not getting a lot of information on and I'm wondering what kind of trouble he might be in. That's a whole other topic though and I do wonder what she's going to do with herself now that her mission is concluded. There are all sorts of answers, I suppose and then Remus shows up! I could feel their connection all the way down to my toes and I'm SO eager to know what happened between them and what news he'll have for her. :D

Onward, to chapter four!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #9, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Nineteen

17th June 2015:
HellO!

This is Gabbie stopping by again and you know what the deal is right now! Hahah. I was unsure if I had come to the end of this story and when I saw that this chapter no reviews, I was really shocked! I had to stop by and continue reading, getting the sense that you were working up to something big.

I was right! D':

Oh, dear. I'm not sure what to say about this chapter but I seriously didn't expect that ending at all. I was so invested in Darcy's relationship with Louis and wincing as they suffered through their NEWTs that I didn't even think that something so awful was going to happen. I will touch on that later though but for right now, I'm happy to see that Darcy and Louis are still working up to getting closer. I feel like they're taking slow steps towards that and I'm glad that Darcy is able to see how much she cares about him.

What really struck me was the thing that she said about kisses. A lot of people like to blow off the fact that kisses aren't that big of a deal when you're dating but to me they are. There's a difference between a peck, snogging and full on passion. You can't just dump that on everyone and I love the distinction you had here with Darcy knowing that Louis meant more to her than the guys that she had kissed before. That says a lot about her feelings towards him and knowing that they might become even closer was really touching to me.

I do hope the situation with Dominique is resolved soon. I have a feeling that it's going to get worse before it gets better but Louis has held up better than I thought. I hope Darcy continues to let him vent his anger out a little though, it could lead to trouble.

You added a little Gabbie in this story! I have to say that I almost cried a little because I certainly didn't expect it! There aren't even enough words and I think you're fantastic! D':

My feels...

But that ending! What?! Poor Dean! I thought that you wrote Darcy's rising fear well too. Numbness and denial are very real stages of grief and that ending just...I can't. It was too much for me and now I'm very worried! I hope you upload the next chapter soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

P.S.: I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating more for you. I've got an awful writer's block but I'm going to try and get rid of it soon so don't worry!

Author's Response: Hi there!
I've known for a while now that everything with Dean would happen, because I think that that accident, and also Darcy's reaction to it (which you'll really get to see in chapter 20) really let me show why Darcy is the way she is. But before I got to the heavy stuff, I wanted to show a little bit of Darcy and Louis just living their lives and dealing with school and things.
I'm glad you liked the part about kisses! I also think that they're a pretty big deal, and I always read stories where relationships move really, really fast. I wanted to write one that didn't move so quickly, because they do exist! Darcy hasn't really connected with any of the guys she's dated before, but she now knows that she and Louis could really have something, and doesn't want to mess it up.
Poor Dom. Her situation isn't going to be resolved all that soon, but it will get better eventually.
I'm so happy you liked Gabbie! I really wanted to thank you for your support over the years (has it really been YEARS?), and thought that doing a little more than just thanking you in the Author's Note was the right way to do things :)
Again, sorry about that ending. It came really suddenly. The next chapter is in the queue now, so I'll let you know when it's up! I can't wait to hear what you think of it!
Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)


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Review #10, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Eighteen

17th June 2015:
HELLO!

I'm back! I was intending on reading this today after I finished the stories in my review thread but here I am! I'm so sad to see that there's only one more chapter left, is the story completed? Will I no longer be able to swoon over Louis?! D':

Ah, so I see that Louis took Darcy's advice about not doing anything crazy. I do hope that Dominique is going to be able to see that Luke isn't any good for her. I know why Louis would be so frustrated though and I'm really anxious to see what happens, perhaps Victoire will be able to get her to understand. If Luke is that "drunk" and says awful things, then I can only imagine how he is when he's sober. >.>

I liked that Darcy was able to spend time with her family and friends too. The break from Louis was what she probably needed at the moment to sort through how she was feeling and I was glad that it was so peaceful for her. What I really enjoyed was how you wrote that scene, it felt like everything that I did as a kid. I could relate to the entire experience of just lazing about with friends and family after the holidays are over. :)

Bwhaha, Louis is a charmer! I wasn't sure how he was going to react to Darcy's parents but he's just so slick! Hahaha. I was laughing a little at Seamus too because he reminded me so much of George when he's worrying over Roxanne. Hahah. I'm glad that he was reassured that Louis was a good guy and now I'm hoping that Darcy will open up to him even more. :D

LYS AND LUCY!!! FINALLY!

I'm curious to see what happens next so I'm going to hop on over to the next chapter now. I'll see you soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
Don't worry, the story's not done yet! Other than a very general outline, I don't plan my chapters out in advance when I'm writing, so I have no clue how many chapters this story will end up being, but when it gets close to the end, I'll let you know so you're prepared! Haha.
I think between Darcy and Victoire, Louis will be kept in check, and won't go nuts trying to protect Dom. But yeah, Luke is not a good guy regardless of if he's intoxicated or not.
I think when stories focus on romantic relationships, it's also important to show at least a little time apart for the main couple. Even though Louis is a really big part of Darcy's life, she's still her own person and has her family and friends to spend time with.
He knows exactly what to say, and when to say it, but like Darcy says, he's completely genuine. He's not just saying what he thinks will impress Seamus and Padma.
Yay Lys and Lucy! Originally I was going to put this off even more, but then as I was writing this chapter, this really seemed like the right time for them to get together.
Thank you so much for the review! It's always great to hear from you!
Cassie :)


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Review #11, by Gabriella HunterDetox: Turning the Corner

17th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with this super late review for our swap. I feel like I owe you the biggest apology for not getting to this more quickly and I shall repay you with kittens and glitter. Honestly, though, I'll probably just read more of this story and review to make up for this, I hate not giving you guys reviews the same day we swap. ;__;

I am going to be honest though and say that I have been checking up on this story for quite a while. I had a brief hiatus and wasn't able to read or review for a long time but now that I'm able to again I can review the stories that I started reading ages ago. This being an adult thing is not fun...

So, Draco! I remember that I read half of this chapter before but I re-read everything to get back into the swing of things. I am really invested in his character and I love all of the different angles that you've given him. He seems the same on one hand but on the other you can tell that he's become a tad jaded but much more mature. I liked that you still had him holding onto some of his prejudices about Muggles too, I feel like some authors make him out to be this tragic, romantic sex-god and that always felt waaay out of left field. I'm sure that that's a great fantasy but your version of him is more realistic. I'm sure that people who are bigots for most of their lives aren't just going to flip a switch in a day.

What surprised me here though was the offer McGonagall gave him. I liked that they managed to have a talk though and while it was more like a cowboy facing off with a hardened fighter, I really enjoyed that Draco held his own. McGonagall is an intimidating woman but I really enjoyed seeing her softened up just a little in this section. She's also putting a lot of her career on the line by trusting Draco and I think that offering him this job is a test of how much they can trust and rely on one another.

I know that Draco was feeling very defensive about the whole thing but I honestly believe that he would be better suited there. Potions seems to be his strong suit and I winced a little at how he carelessly tossed Muggle Studies behind him. I would have liked to see him trying to make more of an effort to learn but it was clear that it wasn't going to happen. I hope he'll be able to scrape through Herbology though, Neville Longbottom is silently laughing in a corner over this, I'm sure.

When we shift back to Astoria, I can't help but giggle with girlish happiness. I LOVE the way that she's written, she seems like a very real girl and I enjoyed how her thoughts of Draco slipped from worry to moonbeams. It's clear that her feelings for him are developing into something more serious here and their entire section together was all sorts of yum. As a professed perv of the highest order, I declared that you wrote that scene very well. There was just enough connection and physical intimacy to bring them closer together without it being written crudely or rushed.

"Little wizard" is still making me laugh, btw.

Anyway, this ending! Astoria's father is wanting more from her life than she's willing to let go of and I'm worried. I don't want her to look at Montague as some sort of example because Merlin have mercy on my soul...just...no. So much nope is coursing through me.

So much nope.

I hope that she'll be able to convince her father of what SHE wants. Also, I do hope that she won't end up being like MY Astoria either. The Astoria in A Force of Wills would be dead by now if her father learned of some illicit relationship with a boy that he disapproved of.

Anyway, great chapter and I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #12, by Gabriella HunterCatching Captain: Anniversaries

16th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your request. I'm sorry that this took a minute, I should have been here sooner but there were challenges and swaps going on. Plus, I was kind of not awake at some point and had my eyes open for a minute without realizing that I had no idea what I was doing. Try to make sense out of that for me.

Hahaha.

Also, it's nice to meet you! I haven't read a story about James like this that wasn't angsty and filled with teen drama. I like that! This is actually pretty funny and I enjoyed watching the kid's struggling to get along with one another and James's arrogant POV. I think that he has a love for Quidditch that can be a bit much sometimes and I hope he understands that he has to work as a team. There are some power plays going on here that I think will play an important part of the story later and I wonder how that will all work out.

I honestly LOVE the way you wrote the Quidditch games. I have never been good at it and all of this detail is great, it really makes me sink into the story more. I thought that all of it felt really authentic and I was blown away by the fact that you were able to do that without losing your mind. :D

I liked all of the supporting characters that you introduced but I would like to get more information on James and his family. I felt like he almost got overshadowed here and while they were all at the Burrow, it suddenly felt like too many people were being introduced all at once. I do like the fact that they celebrated the anniversary of the battle though, that's a nice touch. All of the relatives and friends coming together for something like that is really nice and I'm just laughing a bit at how James is so intent on being captain! I wonder what he'll do in order to get that position? I wonder when he'll ditch his girlfriend for that horribly mushy letter?!

Hahaha.

So, I felt like this was a good start for your story but there are moments when I think you could have cut back a little. The last few bits of this chapter feel like they could be the start of another and you could always edit those pieces out and continue them later. That's just my advise though.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll definitely take this all on board, and this also made me realize that I haven't really talked much about James himself, or had much interaction between him and his family, which I'll definitely include in the next chapter! Thanks so much for the feedback, I wasn't feeling very confident about this chapter but reading this made me feel so much better about it so thanks! :)

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Review #13, by Gabriella HunterMy Identity: My Mythos

16th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with you review. I was intending on hopping right over to this after receiving your review but then things happened and I was like, "Man, real life is not my friend." But I'm here now and I hope you're ready for some awesomeness!

Hm. You seem to be running away rather quickly...

Anyway, this! I really, really like Andromeda. I have read a lot of stories that feature her but I don't think that they're very common. We usually hear more about Narcissa and Bellatrix and assume that Andromeda was this quirky girl that never quite fit in. I'm honestly not sure what I think about her personality since we didn't get much about her in the HP series but I like what you've done here.

I think that I love most about this is the fact that you've used her name to really get us into her character. You know more about her from how she thinks of her name than you would someone interacting with her. I don't know if that's a weird thing to say or not but I love the fact that it sounds oddly on the tongue and you're not quite sure what to think of her. It's a great parallel for someone growing up in the Black household and I'm sure it's going to be an important factor later on.

I liked the little bit of mythology here that you've added to. She's not a princess but she can hold onto that story for all she's worth because she DOES exist and that's a powerful way to set this story off. I really liked that you didn't have her as this shy, awkward girl either, I sense a lot of personality from her. I think that she's witty, sarcastic and stronger than people have written her in the past. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Aw, thank you very much!

You actually reviewed a chapter from my story The Rules of Motherhood right after we agreed to the swap, but maybe you forgot about that? Or am I confused, because I don't get the running away comment? Either way, thank you very much for TWO reviews!

I had a lot of fun playing with Andromeda and the preconceptions people have of her here. As you can see by this chapter, she certainly feels like she doesn't fit in, but not necessarily with her family.

I'm glad that you like how I structured her and that you could really get to know her by seeing the way she thinks. She does a lot of thinking in this story, haha.

"witty, sarcastic and stronger than people have written her in the past" is absolutely wonderful feedback to receive and really what I was going for.

Thank you so much!

Sam.


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Review #14, by Gabriella HunterAreopagitica: Prologue

16th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review for our swap! Thanks for putting your story in my review thread too, I'll get to it by the end of the week. Probably tonight if I get all of my grown up stuff out of the way so don't worry about it! :D

I seriously thought that this was ridiculously cute. This is a great idea that I don't see very often, people know that Luna and the others were suffering so much during that year at Hogwarts but this has such a nice glimmer of hope. I think that you wrote it very well too, I wasn't quite sure what was happening and I thought that there was a secret message with the presents but the fact that it was merely something to brighten their days was great. I still have a feeling that something more is happening but if you're going to make more of this story, I'd be really happy to figure out what it is.

I especially liked that this chapter focused on Luna. We get a lot of stories from Ginny's POV during this time and it's refreshing to read something about Luna too, she's always such a bright light. I really enjoyed the fact that she was handing out presents and gifts to people that she may have never really spoken to. Ernie McMillan and Susan Bones for example aren't the two people that I would expect her to be exchanging presents with but I love that Ernie was so eager to receive them.

I think my favorite part of this was the very end with Xenophilius. I love the time and care that he put into each gift, knowing that he was making a difference in his daughter's life. You could really feel how much he loved Luna and I think that the part about his wife, Pandora (I find this to be a neat nod to Greek mythology because we all know that as the first woman, she opened up that little box and sent forth all sorts of bad things BUT this is a good name because from what I remember about Luna's mother, she had a tendency to experiment.) was fantastic.

This was great!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

You can probably ignore this in your review thread as I don't think there will be another chapter for you to review quite that soon... I will be working on it though, so fingers crossed!

Luna's gifts definitely have a secret and you'll find out later on what it is... they bring a lot of happiness though to a lot of people and I think that's Luna's best quality. She brings happiness where others can't. I think that's why I love her so much, I could never be half the person Luna is, so I love her.

I've also found that people tend to focus on Ginny's POV in this year. I understand why, I mean, she's probably so hard core, but I think Luna as a rebellion leader is just as cool. She's obviously very different, but they balance each other out. And then along with Neville, they are the perfect trio to lead the school. Obviously, they'll be making an appearance here as well quite soon :)

And Xenophilius! I think sometimes he gets the sort end of the stick because he sold out Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but he loves Luna so much. Which one among us wouldn't do or at least think about doing that for our loved ones? Luna is the only person he has in the world, he's already lost his wife, he doesn't want to lose his daughter too. Anyway, I just have a lot of love for the Lovegood family.

Thanks for the review!

Stefanie


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Review #15, by Gabriella HunterThe Rules of Motherhood: Mrs. Prewett

16th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap. I got here pretty quickly too so you can't run away from me now! >:)

I was really curious on when Molly was going to tell Arthur and I certainly didn't expect what happened in this chapter. I really love the background that you've given her, I never gave her upbringing much thought but I'm extremely curious now. I always assumed that she had a pretty happy childhood because she was such a warm person but this just opens my eyes a whole lot more.

I really do hope that she tells Arthur soon about her pregnancy. I'm certain that she's going to eventually but I can also understand her anxiety about the situation too. She's not really sure how she even feels about it, which is something that a lot of women go through while they're expecting. That's not something that people talk about much but I like that you've added such a realistic view on this. Usually pregnancy is filled with roses and unicorns but Molly is apprehensive and even a little unhappy that she's being pushed farther away from her dreams. I've had friends like this and know that it can be something to get used to but I really hope that she doesn't become too depressed or loses hope that she'll enjoy motherhood.

Speaking of...

Her mother seems like an awful beast and I wonder where her father was, maybe he fled before she could notice. Yeesh. I couldn't believe that this cold, stuffy monster was Molly's mother! I was relieved to know that she had eloped with Arthur too, though I feel like it might have been a way to stab her mother in the back. I'm not sure if that's true but man, she was way more awful than I thought. There seems to be a deeper history between them and I have a feeling that they won't be seeing one another again. She just naturally ASSUMED that Molly was visiting in order to get money? I cringed when I read that. >.>

Anyway, I loved the ending to this chapter! The Rules of Motherhood has been born and I'm eager to see what Molly will write by the time Bill is born. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you for the swap and for coming back for chapter two! I'm not running!

In this story I really wanted to challenge preconceptions that people have about Molly, such as that she has always been the most naturally perfect mother and has had an easy, cheerful life. While this story is a lot less angsty than most of my stories, I definitely added some darker elements in.

To me the Weasleys are very untraditional for a pure blood family, and I wanted to show that contrast by making her mother much more primand concerned with propriety. I believe Mr. Prewett is dead, though I can't promise that something else in my story won't contradict that.

I'm really glad that you think that her feelings and reactions are realistic - that is very important to me.

The third chapter will go in the queue as soon as the latest My Identity chapter is validated.

Don't worry, she can't keep this secret forever!

Thanks,

Sam.


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Review #16, by Gabriella HunterThe Rules of Motherhood: Dreamer, Writer, Mother

15th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap, I thought I would crack down on this right away before bedtime. It's pretty late where I am right now, you know but it's nice to meet you! You've probably seen me slithering around the forums and stuff. >:D

Anyway, this! I don't think I've read a story that's featured Molly this way. I had never given much thought to her childhood or what her own dreams were until now. It makes her have so much more depth and I'm able to see her in a completely different way. I still see traces of the person that she will become but I love this dreamer quality that you've given her. There are so many things that slip away from us before we've realized it and I like that aspect of this story.

What I thought was truly surprising was the fact that Molly never wanted to be a mother. It's strange, considering that she later has seven children and I'm curious to find out what happens to make her grow into that role. I love it here that she's intent on becoming a writer and that's what makes her happiest. Life doesn't go the way we expect it to but I really, really appreciate the fact that you didn't have her simply tossing them aside. She acknowledged her own sadness for not continuing on her own path and now that she's expecting, I can't help but wonder how she'll feel now. :D

And when she'll tell Arthur the news...

Hmmm, keep me posted on this! I think you've got something special here and I'd be glad to follow up on it!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello Gabbie!

Thank you very much for the review. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Yup, went there.

I'm really glad that you liked the story and my characterization of Molly. I'm definitely trying to balance the line of who we know she is from canon with who she could have been in her youth. She has a whole life beyond being Mrs. Weasley and I wanted to explore that a bit.

I actually have the first 27 chapters of this story written, and I'll be posting those pretty regularly. Be sure to check back! Things get a lot more interesting once there are more characters to interact with.

I started reading your story, but it's pretty late here too, so I'll finish it up and leave the review tomorrow.

Sam.


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Review #17, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Seventeen

14th June 2015:
HELLO!

It's strange, but I was going to stop by and read this chapter tonight when we decided to swap. A secret mind meld, perhaps? I'll have to check out your new one-shots and more of The Fourth Daughter soon too. I just wanted to finish this story and since I only have a few more chapters left, I'll probably be done by the end of this week so be prepared for more reviews! :3

Anyway, that fight! I was SOOO anxious about what was going to happen from the last chapter. I thought that I wouldn't be able to read about Louis being beaten up or something but thank goodness things didn't go that far. I still want to know what prompted the fight though, what did Luke say to Dom? I get the feeling that he's kind of abusive though and I'm concerned that things might not go well for Dom later on. I know how Louis must feel though and I'm really hoping that he doesn't give in to his anger but it was great to see Darcy getting a stronger hold over the situation.

It had to be awkward for her but she didn't try to back away from it either. I know that a person like Darcy might find it hard to be around so much emotion in one night but I really, really liked that she sat through it with Louis. I loved that their relationship grew here, I could feel that they were going to be much closer after tonight. There was more depth to her feelings for Louis too and I hope that more barriers between them fade away as time goes on.

I still want to punch Luke though...

Anyway, I wonder what will happen to Dom and how her relationship with Louis will be. I honestly love that this is completely different from my Dom and Louis, who would probably stand around crying. Hahaha. They seem really close too but I was glad that Victoire was enough to stop Louis from going TOO crazy. No firewhiskey for you either, young man! Darcy made the right call there and I hope that she'll be able to help him get through this.

I have a feeling that the two of them are going to come to some kind of crossroads soon. I'm really eager to read it! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again!
Luckily Darcy, Lysander, and Lucy broke up the fighting before anything really bad happened. But, unfortunately, Dom and Luke aren't breaking up soon.
It was really interesting writing angry Louis. He's always so fun and charming, that seeing him without any of that is a bit of a shock at first. Especially for Darcy, which is why she's so scared when he gets that upset. But she does care about him, so she wasn't going to leave him alone. (She also doesn't want him going and getting beaten up!)
Of the three siblings, I think Victoire is the voice of reason. Haha. And yes, Darcy was right to take Louis's firewhiskey away from him!
Thank you for yet another amazing review! You're too good to me. Haha.
Cassie :)


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Review #18, by Gabriella Huntercrying lightning: Prologue: yesterday // let's head over to tomorrow

14th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review for our swap! Thanks for the interesting read, this really didn't go in the direction that I thought it would for a prologue.

I really like that you didn't include the names of any of your characters. It gave this a sense of mystery and suspense that I really enjoyed and I think that the creepy children's song worked into the narrative very well. I'm certain that Lily is the one who's speaking in the beginning and I wonder if it's her speaking throughout the entire thing? Hm. That was the only thing that confused me but I understood the scope of time that you included and really thought it was written well.

There wasn't a lot of detail on what would happen and instead, we're faced with what DID happen. I thought that it was a pretty bold writing style, I don't see that very often here. You get the sense that Lily's relationship with James (Or whomever this mystery person is, but I'm assuming that it's James) didn't start off on a good note but I LOVE all "the little things" that bothered her.

I usually read stories that feature Lily as being very hot tempered. James could hardly breathe and she'd be furious at him for it but I like that you've done something different. I also love that their relationship shifted too, it wasn't the little things that mattered anymore, it was the big things. I'm curious to know more about how their relationship developed and I hope you get the next chapter up soon! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #19, by Gabriella HunterBroken Memories: A Bouquet of Violets

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review. I'm sorry that this is a bit late, I would have been here sooner but time just sort of slipped on by without me wanting it to. ;__;

So, we're jumping time! I really like this idea, actually and think that you wrote it well. I like the fact that Angelina wants to get on with her life in this chapter, though you've shown just how different things are now that Fred is no longer with her. Her life has changed so much and I liked that it was the small things that she missed the most, their routine and that spot he slept on in their bed. That was some powerful emotion that you showed and I really, really think that you touched on grief in a way that people often sugarcoat.

The pain isn't going to go away just because we want it to and it certainly never leaves. We get that from both Angelin and George in this chapter, their experiences are similar in the fact that they're trying so hard. Angelina has already acknowledged that she can't move on and George broke down at the end of this chapter, showing that the stress of pretending was harder than the acceptance.

We get to see various angles of Angelina, George and Fred here that are drastically different from how they were during the War. Particularly for Angelina and George, things are completely different now that Fred is gone. We've also touched on things like PTSD in this chapter too, which I really admire you for writing. I don't see too many stories that actually have this being an issue and I wrote about it in my own Georgelina.

Wonder Twins! ;D

I liked the addition of Katie Bell in this story too. I don't like the idea of Angelina being completely alone and their shared pain over what happened in the War was a nice touch. They didn't think of themselves as heroes and I honestly don't think that they should, so I can understand why people thanking them would be uncomfortable.

Ah, I really loved this chapter. So many similarities between your story and mine! I start my story from the beginning of the Battle to shortly after but you've done the opposite, which is always great to see. I hope that Angelina and George's relationship isn't riddled with so much angst and blood like mine were. Yeesh.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!!

If this is slow for you, I apologize to everyone I've ever interacted with. I move at glacial pace!

I'm so glad you liked this chapter and though the non-linear bits worked okay. I worried that it might be unclear what was happening when.

I really enjoy writing about this post-war period because there's so much rebuilding to do - the castle, the Ministry, people's lives. There's a lot of opportunity for growth and exploration of characters during this time.

I do jump really quickly through time also. I think this kind of grief does not go away quickly, so I'm moving through the months pretty fast here. I hope that worked out okay.

Again, so happy you liked it and I hope to see you back again! There's definitely lots of angst coming up, though I don't know about blood...

Much love,

Stefi


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Review #20, by Gabriella HunterThe Trials: Chapter 1

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums and you know what the deal is by now. I'm here for your soul! And your kittens! Haha. It's good to be stopping by again after a while, I'm curious to see what this new story is going to be like. >:)

I really like this set-up that you've fleshed out in this first chapter. I don't read many stories that feature Auror training quite like this, usually the entire thing is glossed over and they've already graduated and become really awesome. I like that it takes far more concentration and hard work to get through the entire thing though, the fact that team work is necessary makes a lot of since. You can't go into the battlefield unprepared and without trusting your partners. That could prove to be dangerous and I like that each team is made up of people who have a certain balance.

I also liked that you didn't open this chapter with your main characters. Their superior is the one giving out all the great exposition and setting up the majority of the scene instead of Harry or Ron. That's a nice change and it gives me an unbiased view on how their character's have changed. It's a nice little twist, I think that people don't do very often.

It is good to see that Ron and Harry are still close though. You don't have to go into a lot of detail to make me believe it either, it's simply written in a way that I can't question. I'm not sure how many years have passed but I love the laid back quality you gave both of the boys, instead of the two of them gloating about their status in the world. I liked the fact that Violet's duel with Harry raised some eyebrows but didn't necessarily get her into trouble, which makes me wonder how often people fight during Auror training. Hahhaa.

I also like that her character pointed out some harsh truths. Harry and Ron may have saved the world but that doesn't mean that they're the best wizards. I think that this team is going to rely on each other in more ways than they think and I'm looking forward to reading more! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #21, by Gabriella HunterBetrayal: Chapter 2: Meredith

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie dropping by from the forums again, I had to read the second chapter in order to gain a bit more understanding! I also wanted to tell you that I would be more than happy to continue reading this story, though I'll probably stick to reviewing two at a time in order to catch up since this story is so long. I hope that's okay, I usually never read stories in the middle unless I'm asked because I like to get a grasp of the story from the beginning. :D

Anyway, Meredith! This woman is very mysterious, I'm not sure if she's an Auror or some kind of vigilante but I'm very curious. I wish that we could have gained a bit more of what her mission was in this chapter though and who it was that she was attacking. Well, I do recall her saying that Dumbledore had her up to something important so I guess that means she's a member of the Order but I'm still really curious. Was this a part of her mission?

I'd have liked a bit more information on the villain too. Werewolves are always great but I have a feeling that a lot happened before this confrontation and I'd love to know more. I'm sure that you'll give more details later on though, I hope that I can follow through Meredith's journey well without being blown away. She seems like a fierce opponent! D':

I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: This review was fantastic, thank you so much for dropping by. This encounter has more to do with the characterization of Meredith than her actual mission as it doesn't relate to the plot, but it means a lot that your interest has been piqued.

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Review #22, by Gabriella HunterBetrayal: Chapter 1: Dear Remus

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I'm sorry for the lateness. I would have been here sooner but I got caught up watching anime and stuff. I try to reply to these requests in about three days but I'll be quicker next time! :D

So, this letter! I was really thinking that this was addressed to Remus and being READ by Sirius because Remus had died. I really thought that Remus had been killed in battle and that his girlfriend may have been writing to Sirius without a clue. That really freaked me out but now I'm left with more questions than answers! I don't know who to feel sorry for more here because I have no idea what's really going on or what Sirius feels so guilty for.

I'm sure that I'm going to have to drop in for the next chapter. This seems to be set during Voldemort's first rise to power, which makes this really dangerous and I'd really like to know how all of these relationships came to be. I especially love putting OC's into the middle of things too because they have a different perspective on situations. I'm really curious about Meredith's relationship with Sirius too and what happened between them so I think that this was a good chapter to set that all up. :D

I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thanks for being so thoughtful with your review, it really means a lot. The story is meant to show how their relationship unfurled over the years and why it deteriorated. It will eventually go back and forth between their years at Hogwarts and how they interact during the First Wizarding War.

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Review #23, by Gabriella HunterLike a Rat in a Maze: Coal-black Eyes

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review, I apologize for the lateness! I try to reply to all of my requests within three days but I seemed to have missed the mark this time around. I have absolutely no excuse of course, save for the fact that I spent far too long watching anime. >:(

Anyhoo!

Peter Pettigrew is not the character that I enjoy remembering from the HP books but in a way, he's very fascinating. I really despised him for his cowardice and selfishness but at the same time, I could kind of understand once I sat and thought about it more. It felt like he really had nothing going on in his life besides the image of everyone else around him and I wondered if he had felt some kind of resentment towards that? I'm not sure if he would feel that against himself or not but I really enjoy the Pettigrew that you've written here. He seems to acknowledge how vile he is, while at the same time holding a tad of apathy for whoever gets in his way. The Dark Lord clearly voiced out the ugliness of his character and instead of denying it or trying to find some semblance of decency, he merely accepts it as truth. I think that's what's so tragic here and so darn messed up!

I wasn't quite sure where this one-shot was going when I first started reading. There's so much I can say about Snape and your excellent portrayal of him but that could take all day. I liked the idea that he was the one who was in control the entire time, it was an interesting power-play going on that I saw between them but it was clear that Snape never lost his control over the situation.

Peter was incredibly sly as well, you're not quite sure what's happened to him before he opens his eyes, (Which just added to the entire mystery of it AND the fact that he was stuck with yet another person who hated him in a small place) but he's quick to work out a scheme. I think that shows just what kind of person he is and while it's awful, I can understand how that must have protected him in the past. The fact that he might be more comfortable being a rat only kind of makes me cringe.

What I really liked about this though was the fact that Peter's faults as a man isn't the only issue here. We all know that there was more than one cause for Lily and James's deaths so Snape putting the blame all on Peter here only sort of emphasized how guilty he still felt. I thought that was an amazing twist to it and I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but I think you wrote it beautifully.

Memories are tricky things! Peter's recollections of the night the Potters' were killed is mixed in with Snape's, who had a completely different reason for being there. I did like though that Peter still had SOME remorse for what happened to the couple but it was already too late for him to even measure up some kind of excuse. >.>

Anyway, I'm sure that the torture will continue for Peter! Inwardly and outwardly, which only makes that ending kick you in the stomach all the harder. Hahahah.

Thanks for the read! :3

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Tonight's mission: To get clean on unanswered reviews. And we begin with this gem!

There isn't a whole lot to like about Peter Pettigrew. I wasn't trying to make him a sympathetic character by any means. After reading The Prince's Tale in Deathly Hallows, it dawned on me that Snape must have hated Wormtail with the fire of a thousand suns. All of the risk and trouble that Snape went to in order to keep Lily alive, and Wormtail went and ruined it. So the time that Peter spent at Snape's house in Spinner's End must have been horribly difficult for Snape. To endure the traitor's presence without blowing his cover. It started me thinking, "what if Snape **didn't** totally manage to keep control?"

To be honest, I'm sort of glad that you couldn't see right away where things were heading. I felt like the longer I could maintain the mystery of who attacked Peter, the better the story would read. You're correct, Snape was really the one in control. Well, to nit-pick a bit, he was in control of Peter. The question is whether he was in control of himself.

When you look back at all of the characters in the books, if the Sorting Hat ever made one huge mistake, I'd have to say it was Peter. The guy belonged in Slytherin, no doubt about it. He managed to fool everyone who ever cared about him, and he did it for the most selfish of reasons.

You're right about Snape. He's as much to blame for Lily's death as Peter, and that's something he hasn't completely come to grips with at this point. So he takes it all out on Peter. I'm not really complaining. There are no winners in this story, only degrees of losing. Thank you for the compliment. :)

I do think Peter felt a sort of remorse, but it was more along the lines of "I'm sorry that things turned out the way that they did." I never got the sense that he genuinely accepted responsibility for Lily and James's deaths. He saw his actions as unavoidable because when it came right down to it, he was unwilling to die for anyone else.

I left it up to the reader to decide how many times this scene played out, but I'm sure that Snape didn't let Peter off easily.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review!


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Review #24, by Gabriella HunterThe Last Keepers Of The Light: Chapter One

12th June 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review for our swap. I'm sorry that it took me so long to get to it and it's also very nice to meet you. I don't believe we've talked before or anything so this is always nice! :D

So...that was pretty amazing! I had absolutely no idea what was going on from the very beginning but instead of becoming frustrated by that, I was completely absorbed. I'm not sure if it's because I could practically taste the fear that poor Ms. Blanc was going through (I love how you never reveal what her name is until the end and even still, it's not her full name.) and was desperately trying to sort through this. I love being dropped right in the middle of the action like this when I read, I can't write scenes like this very well but this is really awesome!

I like that we're right in the middle of what could only be one of the worst days of her life. It's clear that there have been plenty more before this but you have to wonder what happened and why. There's this whole mystery around her and what the Death Eaters are up to and by mentioning the Holy Grail at the end, I could feel my "Oh, Crap-O-Meter" go off. I think that's actually a good twist too, it reminds me of how Hitler was intent on having the Spear of Destiny and actually had quite a huge interest in the occult.

It wouldn't surprise me that the Death Eaters would be keen on learning more about this as well and with what we know about Voldemort, I think that fit in very well. I am worried about what's going to happen to Ms. Blanc though, with the scum that she's had to suffer with early on and her horrible treatment, she's out of options for making a friend.

What I really liked about this chapter though is how real she is. I mean, she's terrified and alone but you can still tell WHO she is or at least, who she WAS at some point. I mean, the best part of this to me was when she recognized Crabbe and even recalled her moments with Draco, feeling a sense of betrayal even though they had never been friends. I do wonder though, what they think they'll be able to accomplish and what sort of information she has.

Hmmm...

I am very intrigued! Thanks for requesting this for me!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #25, by Gabriella HunterCrash Landing: The Cousin, Knight, and The Captains

12th June 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums again and I thought I would stop by with another review, I didn't want you to get the idea that I was just reviewing and ditching. Hahaha.

I really like the friendship that you've built between Iris and her friends. They have a good history together and I particularly enjoyed the bit about looking at old yearbook pictures. I would rather burn mine, personally but I liked the companionship in that moment, it's not something you see very much. I guess it's because they'll be graduating this year that they're able to look back at everything for a bittersweet moment but I really liked that. Also, Iris had better cover up her crush well before they start REALLY teasing her about it!

So, I feel like Iris is going to be having more than a little moment with Lily at some point. I have a weird feeling that Lucy is setting her up for something but I'm not going to be suspicious for too long if I'm proven wrong. Nice addition t have here, by the way but my suggestion would just be adding a bit more detail about her background, her appearance and whatnot. I got a bit of her personality here but those other little details would really flesh her out but what I liked were the other characters that you introduced.

There are some warring personalities here, especially with Alex's brothers. Very curious about how that dynamic is going to be and I'm really, really, hoping that Iris is able to have some kind of talk with her ex. I don't know why but I think it would be great drama fuel and I love reading that in stories. Hahahha.

Hugo again, eh? Guess I'm going to have to wait until the next chapter to find out what happens next...

See you again!

Much love,

Gabbie

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