Reading Reviews From Member: Gabriella Hunter
  
666 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Exclamations of Merlinís Extensive Collection of Lingerie

11th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back! I was wondering what was going to happen with Annett and this chapter didn't disappoint me at all.

Now, I have to say that I am a fan of lingerie. I make Albus Potter in my story (Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince) actually turn everything into panties. Sexy panties. So, needless to say, I was roaring with laughter while Annett was cursing in her mind. I was terrified for her but also cracking up at the same time which is a good thing? I'm not quite sure. Hahahaha.

Anyhoo, Annett's clever mind saved her from being acromantula dinner. I liked that you described them in a way that made them seem very frightening but also eerily smart. They figured that she wasn't a Hogwarts student based off of her clothes (This means that they had thought of eating the students more than once)and even had discussions about whether or not they SHOULD eat her. I found that horrifying. Hahaha.

Now, Annett's clever mind got her out of another quick jam. I always like the bit of science and magic that you incorporate into this story and I was so relieved when she finally got away. I was kind of worried for a moment or two when she was cornered by Albus saved the day. Thank Goodness.

I thought that while she was being bathed in the tub that she would revert back to her human form , to be honest. I thought it would have been hilarious but thankfully for Albus that didn't happen but Annett is feeling attracted to him in a way that worries her. I liked this little tidbit and I'm wondering what will happen with their relationship afterwards. Al doesn't know that she's Fufu (I died laughing at this, he should never name anything.) but I wonder when he'll find out?

I'm really eager for the next chapter too and I hope that she'll be able to save her centaur friend. Don't keep me waiting! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Thank you so much! I am relieved to hear that.

Everything into panties? Bahaha, Gabbie! Oh goodness gracious! It's now on my reading list, actually. I've gone over to your account and taken a peek. ;)

Ha! It is definitely a good thing. I did intend to both terrify and cause laughter! It pleases me to hear that.

Ah, yes. I figured Acromantulas must have a higher thinking capacity as opposed to regular arthropods. I am a huge fan of intelligent, non-human organisms. I am delighted to hear that you like that bit. Horrifying and hilarious are the two things I aimed for with this chapter. :D Thank you!!

Well that really depends on how you look at it, I suppose. Haha! She was already safe from the Acromantulas before he swooped it, but he saved her a lot of trouble by flying her to the castle and healing her, didn't he?

That is an interesting thought and what a scene that would make! But I had to have my fun with Fufu. I really had to. I couldn't resist. No, Al should not name anything. He inherited his naming abilities (or lack of them) from his mother.

Now that's a good question. When? I'll have to keep re-requesting. ;)

Gabbie! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You leave such wonderfully encouraging reviews.

Reciprocated love,
Em


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Review #2, by Gabriella HunterDarkened Allure: Fascination

11th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm almost certain that we've never spoken before. It's nice to meet you and thanks so much for the awesome read!

I don't come across a lot of Hermione/Blaise stories and so I was really curious. I ship Astoria Greengrass/Blaise Zabini in one of my stories so this was a refreshing take on a character that I simply love. I was a little miffed to see how short it was though, I thought that it was going to continue on for a minute. Hahaha.

Anyway, what I liked about this is that it set up Hermione's character very well. Spending a night in the library isn't an unusual thing for her but the obvious enjoyment she gets to be alone with her thoughts just made her all the more realistic to me. I'm sure that being around Ron and Harry all the time can get a bit draining but there was some sweet, girlish energy about the way you wrote Hermione that I really loved.

Now, Blaise scared the crap out of me, I'm not even going to lie. Herminoe being alone in the library like that couldn't have been the perfect way to announce himself but just sneaking out of he shadows like that spooked me. I wasn't sure what his motives were but I was stunned by the way he reacted to her. Blaise is mysterious and oddly polite, I really liked that you didn't have him being rude to her at all during this encounter.

The attraction was obviously there and Hermione's reaction to him was very interesting. She was a little confused and scared but felt something during their conversation that I noticed right off the bat. It's obvious that it's not one-sided, at least for right now.

The last line of this chapter was very beautiful, it was filled with a lot of longing and I thought it was a great way to end it. :D

The only CCs that I can point out is the very beginning with Hermione trailing her hands over the books. You don't have to keep mentioning books in every sentence, it sort of disrupts the flow a bit but otherwise, you're fine.

In regards to your concern in your request, I do think that Blaise may have come across as a little TOO intense. I can understand his fascination with her but I think that him reaching out to touch her that way and invading her personal space without much of a reaction from Hermione could have been done a bit better.

Hermione could have asked, "What are you doing?" and it would have flowed a lot better and felt more realistic.

But that's just a little thing, I really enjoyed reading this! :D

Thanks a lot!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #3, by Gabriella HunterChicks Before Broomsticks: Bad Press

8th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back! I really should do a quick edit on my review thread though about Slash stories because it makes it sound like I'm not interested in reading them. I'm just not a big fan but I do enjoy the genre...I should have thought that out a bit more before I'd posted it.

So, anyway don't be a little anxious to request from me a Slash story. I'll totally be all right with reading it!

Okay, with that out of the way, I'm glad to be back with Hollie and the group. I wasn't sure what was going to happen after that emotional first chapter but I was glad that Hollie was able to talk to someone about how she was feeling. I suppose she gets drunk quite often and cries a lot because Alec was being really hilarious about it. I have no idea why I want to know more about those past moments though...hahahahaha.

I really loved the way you wrote Hollie's turmoil in this chapter though. There's nothing more painful than watching someone you love being with another person, it's even worse when you're not able to express that love. I think that you had a good balance here though and I was really sympathetic, I can totally understand how that hurts. Hollie held on pretty well though and I'm glad that she was able to open up to Alec a bit and felt a tad better afterwards.

What I wasn't expecting was that Daily Prophet article. Like...what?! It completely shocked me and I am not even certain how I should take it...the Daily Prophet of course is completely rubbish for the way they wrote the article and Avery just makes me want to punch him. He was drunk in front of a bunch of kids? AND he had to hurt Roxanne in the process? Awful!

Hollie was conflicted here about what she should do and I was a little upset that she didn't get a word to Roxanne. I know that it made sense though since they weren't that close but seeing Roxanne so down and knowing how nice of a person she is, was just really upsetting to read. I hope that things resolve in the next chapter though but the team is in a lot of trouble, what's going to happen to them after this, I wonder? Hm.

Once again, though you made Quidditch sound very authentic and I really enjoyed it. The rules of sportsmanship are hard and the life isn't all that it's cracked up to be!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!

I'll keep that in mind! Thanks for letting me know!

haha! You're the second one that asked about the 'Portree Incident' now.. maybe I will have to have it get brought up in the future.. Alec would be like that and use it as blackmail against her.

Oh, that is good to hear! I definitely wanted her feelings to be realistic, so I'm glad that you got the picture that I was hoping for!

haha.. Well then it certianly did it's job! It was definitely meant to be terrible, published homophobia that the Prophet gets away with because, well it's the Prophet. I want to punch him too. A lot. haha. They definitely took the biggest part of the news and went with that instead of focusing on what really happened!

Well.. as far as things getting resolved in the next chapter.. heh. I will have to stalk your review thread so you can see for yourself! She's definitely conflicted. She's not at the friendship position that Livvy or Nora is at, so she sort of is left out with just her feelings.

Ah, I'm glad you liked the Quidditch! I'm working on chapter four, and there actually ISN'T Quidditch in it. It feels so empty! haha.

Thank YOU so much for the wonderful review! (and sorry it took me a while to reply!)

Julie


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Review #4, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: A Night of Discoveries

8th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back! I was wondering when I was going to get back into this story and so I was really excited to catch up!

I liked seeing that Annett was getting a little closer to Albus and his friends in this chapter. I'm guessing that she doesn't quite mind having them around so much anymore and I'm eager to see how her friendship with Al is going to develop. It's obvious that he still likes her but I'm not sure how she feels about him just yet. I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see. Hehehehe.

Scorpius should just ask Rose out! Hhahahah.

Anyway, I really liked seeing Annett in her Animagus form as well. That was something that I was looking forward to the most and I enjoyed reading about her experiences with Mrs. Norris and her theories on her old age as well. It was actually pretty neat! I hadn't even let that possibility sink into my head at all so it was something that got me thinking.

As always, Annett is clever and precise and while she was wandering in the Forest I was kind of scared for her. I was under the impression that she was going to see someone doing something naughty or come across some dark monster. I was half right but I'm curious about the centaur and I'm hoping that he's going to be all right. But now Annett is in some big trouble! What?! I'm worried now! I don't want her to get eaten and I really need to know what happens next!

What a cliffhanger!

*Ahem*

So, I am really curious to know what happens after this little adventure so don't be shy about stopping by again!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dearest Gabbie,

Thank you once again for such a lovely review! They are always so encouraging! I love reading them.

I'm so glad you are enjoying it all so far. She is spending more time with other people, yes. Haha.

Rose and Scorpius. . . They annoy me to no end. I mean why can't they just get together already! Teenagers. . . :P

I am thrilled to hear that it got you thinking! I was actually caught by Deana the RoxiMalfoy about Mrs. Norris's age. It is thanks to her that that's up there.

Bahaha! Absolutely. Nothing too friendly can come out of visiting the Forest alone, huh? It pleases me to her that you were scared for her.

BAHH! YES SHE IS! WHAT WILL HAPPEN? And, more importantly, what will Gabbie say to the events in the next chapter! I cannot wait to hear your thoughts!

Gabbie, once again, you have made me grin madly with your review. Thank you. :D

Much reciprocated love,
Em


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Review #5, by Gabriella HunterResisting Ardour: Most Days, He Was Okay.

8th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with a random review, I thought I would stop by and see how your Georgelina was faring! I'm a HUGE Georgelina shipper by the way so I'm really glad to be reading someone else's work! This couple doesn't get a lot of love.

So, I've written two or three George/Angelina stories so far and what I really liked about this was how different your interpretation of them was from mine. I spotted a few similarities but otherwise, this came off as a very unique way to write this couple and I really enjoyed it!

George was so heartbreaking with all of his grief in the opening of this scene and his conflicting emotions in regards to Angelina were very well done. You didn't put a lot of emphasis on the fact that she had been Fred's ex but you linger very nicely on the pain of losing him. I wasn't able to really wrap my head around the scene for a while but I was really engrossed in his thought processes.

I think that this slightly awkward, panicky kind of George is great too. I liked that his mind kept wandering with various thoughts at once, it really showed how mixed his emotions were at the time and when Angelina joined him, I think they nearly exploded.

The nervousness and desire, guilt and fear were all written so nicely. Those are very realistic things for anyone to have at that moment but George's emotions were so poignant! I felt badly for him on one hand but on the other I wanted him to take a chance with her.

Angelina was a bit stubborn, direct and kind all at once and I really loved her character. I don't think many people think of her much outside of Quidditch but you've given her a lot of life and personality. It was good to see that she actually did care about George but you didn't reveal how deeply until later, which only had me rooting for them all the more.

I thought the end to this was very sweet too, George was able to accept his feelings and Angelina expressed her own pain. They loved each other, truly and I was glad that they took a chance on one another.

Also, sidenote: I'm a Percy enthusiast so I liked that you included just the slightest mention of him in this story too. I like the idea of George being closer to him after Fred's death and wrote something similar in my own story. So...mind meld! Unite!

Okay, what I also enjoyed about this fic was the way you handled Angelina's relationship with Fred. I've read a lot of stories where the two of them are super in love and that she only gets with George because of her grief. I'm SO glad that you didn't take this route here though! I liked that she admitted that their relationship had love but not the sort of love that she needed from George.

*Squeals*

Anyway, this was pretty darn awesome! If you had the time, it would be lovely to know what you think of my George/Angelina. It's "This is Angelina" and "Memories" on my author's page, they could really use the love. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #6, by Gabriella HunterForbidden Wanderings: A Surprising Encounter

7th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap, sorry that it took me a minute! I was really curious after reading this summary too so I thought I would stop by and see what was going on with your Draco. It's really interesting to read other interpretations of his character too, this was a lot of fun.

What I liked about this entire thing was that Draco was forced to realize and accept that he had made a bad choice in his life. The weight of being a Death Eater wasnt' anything like he had thought it would be and I really loved the conflicting emotions that you gave him. On one hand, it was something that he had always wanted but now that he's faced with the reality, he has to find out what kind of man he really needs to be.

I was really upset though to read that he had actually given in to killing people though but he DID redeem himself somewhat when he said that he hadnt' wanted to. I wonder though how long he's going to hold on to that? Hm...

The thestral came as a nice surprise too! I wasn't expecting it and for some reason, I thought he was going to have a moment with either Hagrid or Luna, I have no idea why. The Forbidden Forest seems like the sort of place where you go to think about the darker things and I'm glad that he actually bonded with such an unlikely friend.

The ending of this though had me wanting to read more and it would be great to know if he ever saw the thestral again. But this is just a one-shot so I'm merely hoping.hahahaha.

Well, I think that this was a really unique and original little one-shot! I enjoyed it and I hope to see you again! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reading this story. Although it's not my favorite because I feel it is very rushed, but I do love writing and reading Draco.

This particular story takes place during his seventh year and it's finally hit him as to what's he's involved in, and as much as he wants to, he knows he can't get out of it. And that's what I really wanted people to get from this, that he's basically between a rock and a hard place.

Maybe I go too far, saying he's killed, and I don't know if he does or not in canon, but I think it's a possibility. But I think killing has affected him much more than he thought it would, he's grown up and he's starting to see the reality of what it means to take a life.

I do love the bit with the thestral. I can see why you may have been mislead, sadly there were not many pictures of thestrals so people are in the banner who are not in the story. I don't think Draco would have reacted well to meeting an actual person in the forest though. He turns to Myrtle in HBP, but that's different in my opinion since most people don't seem to like her or talk to her. But I think it'd be even easier for him to talk to an animal, like a thestral, who can't repeat what he tells them.

Haha, and I don't know if he ever sees the thestral again. He could, but he may not even know if it's the same one. But I enjoyed leaving such a sad story or a bit of a hopeful note.

Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm sure you'll see me again soon as I have some reviews I've been meaning to leave for you.

Nix


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Review #7, by Gabriella HunterLove, Not War: Conversations

6th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back after that wild chapter that you left me with last time! I am still kind of jittery about that!

But...my feels...my poor feels...You really tore me open in this one too! How could you? Hahaha. I tend to do that with a lot of my stories so it's not that big of a deal but man, this was a really emotional chapter and I won't even begin to go on about that ending just yet!

SO, the aftermath of Percy's betrayal is still weighing on the Weasley home. I liked that you started this chapter with Saleena and Draco though, so that we could get an understanding on how he felt about the situation. The two of them are really great together and I could tell that there's a lot of affection between the two of them, though they don't always see eye to eye. I was really startled and horrified by what Draco revealed about Percy though but I sort of think that it fits his character. I'm still upset, mind you but I feel that what you've shown of him so far really does fit with what he wants out of Voldemort. He's always craved power and Draco was right about everyone having that bit of darkness in them, it really did put this whole chapter in a different light.

I wasn't expecting him to reveal that he was being tortured by Percy though! What a horrible experience to go through--I wanted to really leap through my computer and smack Percy a good one for that. It shows a level of cruelty that was both well-written and cringe worthy but you wrote it with such skill that I wasn't able to stop reading.

Draco and Saleena's parting though was bittersweet. I know that they'll miss one another very much but I think that you had them showing their love for one another in a way that was both sweet and a little sad. It's a side to them we don't see very often and while Saleena is gone, I noticed that Draco felt alone. :(

Cue in Roxie! I really like her! She's a ball of curiosity and isn't at all like how you would think once you get to know her a bit more. I liked that she and Draco were able to have such a personal conversation without having the awkward boundaries in between. There were a few moments when they were a little uneasy about this or that but they plowed on ahead and got to know one another--the unpleasant things--without letting that get in the way. I actually thought this was the best part of the chapter to be honest and I really do enjoy the pair of them together. Roxie is brave, funny and determined and I think Draco might be able to really have a relationship with her in the future. I noticed that there's some equal attraction between them so I'm curious to see how that goes!

Now...that ending...

WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am not a happy bunny right now! OMG, I'm freaking out! You will have to get that next chapter into my review thread like...NYOW!

How could you?!!!

Hahahaha.

So, another excellent chapter! Can't wait for the next one!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #8, by Gabriella HunterBurned by Ice: Frostbite

6th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and have we spoken before now? I feel as though we haven't so it's nice to meet you and I hope we continue to swap stories and such. :D

So, this was a really interesting way to start out a story! I thought that this was going to be completely different from what I read but I was pleasantly surprised. I don't read a lot of Founders era fics and they're not my favorite but I think that you wrote this really well! I liked that this one-shot started out on such a dark note, Helena's death wasn't smothered in a lot of detail either. It gave me a chance to really get into her character better and while it wasn't at all pleasant to see her dying, there was something so sad about her final thoughts that really gripped me.

Strange what you linger on in your most dire moments, isn't it? I liked that the riddle stayed on her mind, taunting her a little. Was she right or wrong? Was her anger towards her mother her downfall? It leaves me wondering but I liked that she acknowledged her own faults towards the end, even while she burned.

I don't think that Helena was annoying at all and from your CC, I thought that this was really well-written. It makes sense to me and I was able to follow what you were going for without any difficulty. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Heya! I feel like we might've, like I've just over-enthusiastically posted on one of your statuses or something. I do that a lot.

I'm glad that you were pleasantly surprised! It's the only sort of surprise that I like, so yay! But now I'm really curious to know what you thought it was going to be like... I'm also really pleased that you still enjoyed the story despite the era not really being your cup of tea. All the nice things you've said is just all the better :D In terms of detail, I don't write description all that well, so I really skimmed over it. And I didn't want to dwell on the physical aspect of dying that much since it was just so superfluous to what Helena was thinking. Like, she didn't really care about the physical act of dying all that much. Does that even make sense?

Gosh, I wrote Helena as a really weird cookie here, but I felt like it fit. You're right - it's weird what you think about in those direst of moments. You can never really pick right between fire and ice, but Helena gave it a shot, and yeah. She does come to terms with how horrible a person she was, which was interesting to write.

And yay for flow! Woohoo!

Thanks for the lovely review :)


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Review #9, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: Recreational Magic Abuse Recovery

6th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and you know what the deal is! I would have gotten to this yesterday but I was writing and watching Bob's Burgers. If you haven't watched that show yet, you totally should because it's hilarious.

Anyway, on to this! It seems like quite a few things happened in this chapter and by the time it was over, I was feeling kind of miffed. How dare you end it...

But what an interesting little bit of OMG from Isobel and Lucas in this chapter! I was sort of suspecting that they were going to at least snog or something but this took me by surprise. I'm not sure if they're going to be a couple after this though and I was a little upset that Isobel was already accepting that it was just a one night sort of thing. :( What I thought was very realistic though was her conversation with Emily about her first time. There were some really girlish moments there and the line, "I feel like a woman" just really hit home. I know that a lot of girls feel that way and it's like a sign of growing up. I wonder if this was some sort of foreshadowing for later though but I'm not sure yet so I'm just going to have to keep reading.

Now, the girls finally were able to visit Laurel and I was really anxious for this scene. I did like meeting Iman though, she seems completely different from her sister and I noticed the little conversation that they had. I'm hoping that Isobel's severe dieting is going to be addressed soon.

But what I liked the most about this entire chapter, aside from the girls being able to reunite was the way you described St. Mungo's. There was a lot of detail and I think that the busy nature of the Healers was well-done but the contrast to Laura's ward couldn't have been more obvious.

I got the feeling that they were being forgotten in some way and I felt my heart clench for a moment as Laurel was finally described. It made me incredibly upset to see her that way but what stood out to me was that there was some manner of peace about her. She wasn't raving or spitting at them but oddly content to some degree and I found that very interesting. The girls were a tad uncomfortable but they didn't pressure Laurel into talking about anything that she didn't want to.

Luna's phrase, "Sick in the heart" was a perfect way to put everything into perspective for me. I also really loved her in this chapter too, it had a very bittersweet feeling to it and I think you wrote her wonderfully. :D

I have no complaints or anything so I'll be back the next time you request!

Much love,


Gabbie

Author's Response: Bob's Burgers RULES! I love that groany sound the daughter makes :)

Well Lucas lives in America and Isobel's still in school so probably not much hope for them becoming a couple. Plus, other thing, that will come later *gags self to keep from giving away spoilers.*

Yay! So glad you liked the girl talk! Def channeled my own 16-year-old self for that! I think you're right, and in this situation, it was sort of more about Isobel growing up, and that event's significance in her development.

I kind of thought of Iman as the "good daughter." The one the parents brag on for having been prefect, and being so beautiful, and blah blah blah. Isobel feels rather overshadowed by her :(

I totally re-read the St. Mungo's chapter of HP before writing that scene--so glad you liked it! And I had a LOT of fun coming up with weird magical maladies for the people in the waiting room.

And yeah, I definitely think of the rehab ward as being kind of shunted off, like the hospital doesn't want to think about it. Which is often the case in RL--people don't like looking at the addicted or the mentally ill, and society tries to make them invisible. I've known a lot of types of people in my life (as evidenced by the fact that I wrote this story), and so that ward was very inspired by places I have seen.

I'm glad you brought up "contented"ness, because that's a theme that comes up a few times. With teenagers, you don't necessarily WANT them to be sedate--or at least, you shouldn't. We focus so much on "good behavior," or behavior that isn't annoying, that we forget how important and real the passions of youth are. In this story, when certain characters become sedate, it isn't usually a good thing--rather, a sign of defeat. Of having been broken.

EE, so glad you liked Luna! I knew it was a risk writing her at all, but I decided that her perspective and presence could be really valuable here. I wanted Laurel to make some kind of friend "on the inside"--and Luna just seemed like the best person for the job!

Thank you so much for this review! You always manage to make my day!
xoxo
-Roisin



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Review #10, by Gabriella HunterDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: The Day After Tomorrow

5th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, the swap continues once again! I am back to the first novel of course since I already left you a review for the sequel and it feels weird, like I'm going back in time. Hahahaha.

So, Devlin made a few interesting milestones today that I found really great. I know that he's still having issues with being with Harry and his mother, who seems to have her own share of secrets herself, but I liked that he was able to be kinder to Emma here. There's something that worries me though, her life might be in danger and he might actually die before the novel is over and I'm on the edge of my seat. I do wonder though, why Alexandra isn't so happy about Harry going to that ball. Is it just because there's a lot of Ministry fuddy duddies there? I do wonder but that's to worry about later. Emma and Devlin's dancing of course was the cutest thing ever and I really adore how he's so confused and fascinated by her. Emma is everything that he was never allowed to be and I hope that their relationship continues to grow.

Ah, the thing with the scars. Harry has his own share of battle wounds and it was oddly something that Devlin was able to sympathize with and understand. I liked that they were able to have that talk but I'm not sure if he's ready to really reach out to his father, no matter if he's going to always be there. Hm...

Now, the name of that potion that was going to help Snape kind of had me nervous. The bold lettering didn't help either, I have this really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach! I did like that you kept Snape's disdain for Harry there and of course Devlin noticed, he notices everything.

I'm always surprised by how smoothly your flow is and how intricately detailed each character you create is. I really love that you have this here in this story, they're nothing at all like I've ever seen! :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #11, by Gabriella HunterDevlin Potter: Convergence Riddles: Lumos

5th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you for our swap! I came here a lot sooner than you might have expected, eh? Hahahah.

It's good to be back! I was wondering how Devlin was going to be faring in Hogwarts and it seems like things have gone a bit better on one hand but not so well on the other. What I really like about Devlin though is that he's really tuned into other's emotions and thoughts, he's able to not quite understand sometimes but he sees things in a way that others might not have.

I really enjoyed his thoughts on Maria though and I'll have to read the previous novel for more of that. I think that there's a really good bond between them and I'm curious to see where that goes in the future. Devlin of course isn't quite as trusting of others as he is of Maria though, I'm wondering when his issue with Scorpius is going to be resolved? Hm...

Ah, Ginny! I was wondering when she would show up and I'm curious now! What happened with her and Harry? Will she be a female Snape?! D':

Devlin seeing the blood was a bit scary, I wasn't sure what was going to happen but thank goodness he helped that kid. What might be a problem for him though is his arrogance, he needs to be a bit more careful with that and his conversation with Harry towards the end has me really intrigued. Will he take any of that to heart?

I'm also really curious about his wand too but I'll have to read the first novel to understand all of that. Hahahha. The last sentence of this made me sad though, I hope Devlin can finally learn to be himself someday without having his past and Voldemort always shifting him into someone else. :(

Excellent chapter! I shall return!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #12, by Gabriella HunterPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

5th October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap! I am really curious about this story that you've started, it's really unique. I have never seen a story that featured a Wizard casino, that alone is original enough to warrant an entire story. I'm really interested in this world that you've created and you wrote it all so smoothly that it felt real. Everything felt intricate and realistic and while I am a fan of gambling, I would have a blast being here for the first few minutes! Unless of course I decide to play pool!

I think that you have your OC set up in a really neat way. There's something sly and sweet about her at first but then she's very cunning and flirtatious in the next paragraph. What a way to play the game! I'm glad that you wrote this in a way for women to understand that this world was more male oriented than anything. I, of course felt that she had every right to take their money because they were chauvinist pigs. Hahhaha. I did kind of feel sorry for that one bloke though but then again, he kept on playing because he thought she was weak. Welp, he learned his lesson! Hahaha.

And oh, we've got a bit of a cliffhanger in this ending! I'm really curious to find out what happens next. Also, I find it completely believable that Fred is the owner of this place, it's a joke store of sorts but just not the kind his father owns. Heheheheh.

Great writing, thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #13, by Gabriella HunterThe Monopoly on Honour: Her Bellatrix Lestrange

3rd October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's good to be back! I was wondering where you had vanished. :D

So, we're back to Alicia right now and I have to say that this chapter was really intense. I was practically chewing on my nails reading this, I expected everything to go wrong and while it kind of did in some way, I was relieved that no one was killed.

What I liked about this was that you showed what could happen to victims on both sides of the War. I thought that you wrote Ron very well here, he's grieving and angry, we all know that he isn't the sort to think clearly all the time when he's like this and I was really worried about him. I think that you showed what damage could be done from losing a loved one in such a horrible way and even though he sort of made me want to punch him every now and then, I could understand. I don't think he's the right person for the job though and the Ministry is awfully shady, sending him out there with the intention of the mention going wrong. >:(

Alicia is strong willed though and very professional, I admired her determination. I think that she's able to understand more about the suffering of the War without a biased opinion and I really enjoyed that.

That ending though has me kind of anxious...I can't wait to read on! I would leave you a longer review but I can't gush for hours about this so I hope this will be enough!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Thanks so much for your review! Like I said, this chapter is kind of slightly *very* late - RL is a killer at this point in rainy, stormy October :)

Intense was certainly what I was going for, so thanks! Expecting things to go wrong, well, yes, I'd certainly agree with you there - but I wouldn't be too hasty; Alicia and co haven't actually arrested the Malfoys yet. I promise, there's lots more intense *hopefully - that's the idea, anyway :p* stuff coming up soon. Chapter VI is currently with my beta, and as soon as I get it back, I'll put it straight in the queue!

Victims on both sides of the war, indeed, and I think it's something that is all to often forgotten. You find out more about it in the next chapter, I swear!

Gosh, I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of Ron, because I really struggled with it when I was writing this bit. Trying to do him justice, to make him coherent with canon but show how the war affected him, and create a bit of conflict with Alicia, I think was definitely an exercise in balance for me! You wanted to punch him on occasion? Glad to know I'm not the only one! :p But of course, he does justify his actions to himself.

Interesting you should say the Ministry is being shady - I definitely agree. But there is a whole lot more to it which you find out, not in the next chapter, but the one after. The Ministry's position in this whole situation is one I'm really excited about exploring - they are in a very uncertain, tenuous position.

On Alicia - thank you! Hopefully she's a credit to her old Hogwarts house. I have a lot of fun writing her. Obviously I can't say much, but things are not about to get any easier for her haha. (I know, I'm evil :p)

Ah, the ending. It's sort of a Beethoven's 5th moment, isn't it? (Or at least to me, but that might be because I was listening to it when I wrote the ending!)

Thanks so much for your review!

Celi xxx


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Review #14, by Gabriella HunterValour : The Pain in the Heart

3rd October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm a few days late. I was going to get to this yesterday but my wifi died and it was a major pain.

Anyhoo, on to this! It seems like the War is only getting darker and darker. Marlene and Sirius make an interesting pair but I like that they're able to do their jobs without losing focus. There were a few moments when their pasts might have come up but they quickly pushed it aside and I think that they did it on purpose, they didn't want to talk about their old wounds, I suppose?

Sirius's attitude and his quick thinking were really well written too. I think that he had more of an idea of what to expect than Marlene when they were stopped by that Death Eater in the streets. It helps when you're a bit more street smart and while they're currently lost, I'm thinking that they might grow together as a team and repair their friendship. There's obviously something broken there.

I liked the bit with James and the others too in this chapter. They were getting along so well while also balancing what they had to do for the Order as well. Remus didn't exactly do as well as he'd wanted but that's to be expected right now, he'll improve over time I'm sure. Hahahahah.

Now, what I really loved about this chapter was the ending with James and Lily. Usually in that sort of situation, James might have taken advantage of what she was offering but he really showed a good strength of character by not sleeping with Lily while she's upset. I kind of awwwed at that part. Hahahaha.

I think that this was a good chapter, your flow was pretty darn awesome and while I think the transitions could be a bit slower, everything else was great!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I had pretty low confidence in posting this, so I'm happy you enjoyed this.

I'll work on lengthening my transitions, and making them flow with more ease.

I'm so excited to write more for you to review!


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Review #15, by Gabriella HunterHaunted: the gift

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie here from the forums with our swap and I'm just now getting to this because my life is horrible and time is not my friend.

So, I'm really interested by the POV you decided to use, I don't see this very often. I also don't read too many stories about Theo Nott and he's completely different from the one I have in my stories. Not quite so cowardly and I liked the bit of bravery that you've given him in this chapter, it takes a lot of courage to do what he did so effortlessly.

Of course, he wants to really save himself but by helping Ginny and her group, there's a chance that his father might be spared. I think that you've set up the changing world of Hogwarts very well here, I was able to get a great sense of unease just from the first few paragraphs. I was worried though that he was going to be caught though and I'm glad that he was able to get away with something that might put him in danger.

I really want to keep on reading so I'm sorry if this is too short! I didn't spot any CC things and your flow is great so good job!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #16, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: Muggle Magic

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and I got here a lot sooner than usual so what say you to that?! Hahahaha.

So we're back with Isobel now. I liked how this chapter started out with her cooking a meal for her family because I found it a bit ironic considering that she hardly eats herself. It was an interesting contrast and I'm hoping that her own issues will be taken care of at some point, it's really not healthy.

Isobel's family weren't what I was expecting on one hand but on the other, I could understand her own mind. I know exactly what it's like to have a family that's only there for you when it's convenient while offering up nothing but criticism so I couldn't really blame her for some of her attitude. I do wonder though if they'll ever find out about what really happened with Laurel and all the nastier details.

I really liked the interactions between Isobel's father and Emily's family. I think that Emily's family is pretty interesting, they've got a really great hippy vibe going on but there's a lot about the magical world that they didn't understand. I thought it was a little strange that Emily had never told them much but perhaps there's something else going on? Hm...

OMG, Lucas!

*Ahem*

I was kind of disappointed in the girls though while they were smoking. I feel like they're not really learning about what could happen if they're pushed too far and I'm curious to know how the visit with Laurel will go. Apparently she's not having a very easy time and I'm kind of feeling uneasy about that, I hope the visit doesn't go as badly as I think it might.

Anyway, what I really liked the most about this chapter though was the differences you showed between a magical family versus a Muggle one. The thought of living without magic was too much for Isobel to understand but I thought that her father's interests in solar panels was a good contrast. They each have something the other lacks in some way and I'm wondering if that theme will play a larger part in the rest of the story.

Hm..I could find nothing wrong with this chapter at all but that ending kind of left me a bit antsy. I might just hop on over to it soon just to see what happens next!

I shall return!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello! Wow, that was so quick! You rule!

It is a bit ironic, isn't it?! I did a bunch of research into eating disorders for this story, and it seems like obsessing over food/making elaborate meals for others is a REALLY common symptom of anorexia.

Isobel's family were weirdly really interesting for me to write. I kind of really enjoyed writing Ahmad. He's rather like, charming, and a nice sort of man, but also a little pompous and careless to a fault. I really wanted to show a few different kinds of families in this story, and have strengths and weaknesses for all of them. The Doge-Mostafa's definitely exemplify the best and worst of an affluent middle-class (in the English sense) family.

Emily's family are DEFINITELY first-wave hippies! And as for Emily not mentioning certain things (fairies, dragons) I suppose I should work on that. I guess that, with limited time spent home, she just couldn't fit in an entire and exhaustive account of everything about the wizarding world. But really, I only did that because I wanted to show muggles reacting to that stuff, and a pureblood experiencing the other end.

Hah, no, they definitely aren't learning. But, well, KIDS. My friends never stopped smoking for ANYTHING. The teenage delusion of indestructibility is pretty tough to shake. And these characters definitely make a lot of bad choices that I don't agree with. I hope I'm striking a good balance! Because I wanted to go for as much realism as possible [in my story about wizards]--but I also recognize that realism can get FRUSTRATING and ANNOYING.

Ah, the antsyness. I wrote this whole story out before uploading to HPFF, so it wasn't originally designed to be episodic, but rather to have certain sequences kind of work together in chunks. So yeah, this chapter is designed to lead into the next, like a 2-parter thing. Maybe I should indicate that?

Thank you so much for this review! Not only was it AMAZINGLY fast, it also gave me a few ideas for things I could tweak once I'm allowed to edit again :)

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #17, by Gabriella HunterPlum Velvet: Blue Leather

29th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and I am here like the speed of light! I devoured this in about five or ten minutes without stopping and I have to say, it was pretty darn excellent. With awesome sauce.

I'm not sure if I'll even be able to gush about how much I loved this and touch on everything that I enjoyed without squealing. What I really found intriguing about this was that you gave absolutely no hint at all who your two main characters were. I wasn't able to make a clear guess and for a while, I was certain that Albus was a girl but as I kept reading, that thought kind of faded away. I'll be honest though, I don't really read much Slash but this was so good that I'd come back a thousand times over.

I think that the style you chose to write this story in just speak volumes. There's something both beautiful and frightening about Albus's observations, his thoughts are twisting and turning with wonderful things. I found that to be really great to read and his growing fascination for Hyperion were really well-written.

I don't think that I would have been able to make it through this in one piece. Even while I read though, I wasn't able to completely put the pieces together until part way through and it was such a nice twist. I wasn't expecting this to turn into a dark vampire tale but it really was engrossing! I do wonder though, if a lot of people would give it all up to be with the one they love forever. There were a few minutes of doubt here and there between them but I think the final result is that eternity is nothing without the person you love the most. :D

I really, really enjoyed this and I wish I could gush about it properly but I don't really have the room to go on forever and ever. Hahahah.

If you ever make this into a full novel or short story, I'm totally going to read it!

Thanks so much for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey there, Gabbie! :) So great to see you here again - I always love swapping with you! Every swap is always so good!

Gah, thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked this - I was so nervous about it; Gift It stories always make me so utterly petrified of things, you know? Coz it's for someone... it means something more than normal stories... :P

Thank you so much again! I really loved not giving things away at the beginning, I really wanted to keep it a bit of secret, just to introduce more the themes of things, rather than focus too much on the people themselves, you know? It's always great to hear things like that - I love testing boundaries - my own and others - and I'm so glad you like this even if it isn't your normal sort of thing! :D :D

I loved writing this - with the whole obsessive element, and it all sort of came from the whole link to his namesakes - with Snape's obsessive love with Lily, you know? The style was a bit sort of coming from other stories - especially my Albus/Gellert - I've been writing at the moment. For some reason, I found it really hard to switch it off, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Haha, thank you? :P I'm so happy you liked the twist - it was the idea from the beginning, though I really wanted to make it as unclear as possible, and to trick readers, so I'm so glad that worked, at least! :) Yeah, it is an interesting question, and I kinda wanted the idea that Albus doesn't want to and almost can't, in a way (certainly believes he can't), live without Hyperion, all because of love. And yeah, I definitely agree - it would be very lonely, I think! :)

No worries about that - this review was lovely as it is anyway! If you'd gushed on forever, I'm not sure how I'd have ever managed to reply! :P

Haha, I'm not sure about that one - I have quite a few WIPs at the moment, I don't think I could do another one, sorry! :( (Though maybe a linked one-shot? I dunno... you're giving me ideas now!)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was amazing, as it always is with you - and I loved it! Thank you so much for the review, too - it was so lovely to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #18, by Gabriella HunterDevlin Potter: Convergence Riddles: Memory and Reality

29th September 2014:
Hello!

I'm here a bit late for our swap but I was a tad busy and wasn't able to get to it until now. Real life is a major pain, you know? I find it to be quite rude. Hahahah.

Anyway, on to this! I really should go back and read the rest of the first novel but I was really curious on where you were going to go after the first chapter for this sequel. I feel like I'm cheating...

Devlin has friends and enemies everywhere, it seems. I'm not sure if I like the fact that his entire school life at Hogwarts has already been prepared for him though but he took advantage of what he could gain from it. As usual, Devlin is far wiser than anyone else his age and he's able to notice things that everyone else would have just pushed aside.

What I liked about this chapter was that things didn't go the way he expected. I'm curious to find out what friendships truly blossom with him and his Slytherin dorm mates, there are some interesting characters there. I'm not sure what to make of some of them but I'm sure that Devlin will pick his friendships carefully.

It seems like Devlin is a bit of a celebrity to his fellow Slytherins and I really want to find out what happened with Scorpius's dad. I haven't read the rest of the first novel of course but I know that it was pretty awful, death for death is what I kept thinking of while reading. Devlin is brave, calculating and oddly resigned to his fate, I would love to see him breaking away from Voldemort and being himself.

I really liked this ending too, Snape wasn't fawning over him or offering any support. Devlin didn't seem to know what to do with himself after he was jumped by those older boys and I know that he would have liked some manner of comfort or conversation with someone he trusted.

Snape was not that man. I don't think he has much tolerance for the game Devlin is playing and I'm wondering how that will come into play later on.

I didn't spot any major CC's in this chapter so you're all good on that end. The flow of this is great and you've got some interesting characters that I can't wait to see develop. :D

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #19, by Gabriella HunterYear Five: War Children

27th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm so late. Even though you had reserved a slot, I'm still a day or two behind and that really blows. Forgive me, yes?

So, we're back with Tristan again. I feel like there's something really eating away at him and I wonder if it has something to do with the Big Thing, which we've only seen hints of before. I wonder if he'll have the courage to really talk to Laurel though, I can understand why he's feeling guilty but at the same time, it would be good for them both to get that off their chests.

What I found really interesting was the brief conversation he had with Snape. Now, I'm with Tristan when he was saying how disturbing it was for Snape to offer a bit of warmth. THere's something so horrifying about that for whatever reason but I think that Tristan might have listened if he had just acted normally. Haha. Anyway, I'm wondering what is going on with him and Neville though. War children immediately caught my attention but I can't imagine what the connection could be but it's obvious that it's not nearly a secret as I was led to believe. Snape knows about it of course so that makes me wonder how many other teachers do as well, my mind is spinning with questions.

I liked the brief POV change you gave with his mother too. I was able to get a better understanding of Tristan and how he grew up, he seems like such an introvert. I can understand his mother's worry though and their conversation about Sophie of course had me a little worried. It's obviously been bothering Tristan for a long time and I wonder if they'll ever really talk about it. Tristan doesn't seem particularly inclined towards either of his parents and I wonder where this gap originated from. It kind of makes me sad though. :(

And he's buying more weed! Bad Tristan! I wish that he would give it up but he's not really in the best of places, I don't think. I did like that we got a glimpse into this underworld and I was a little worried about him while he was talking to Sophie's boyfriend (I see her fears over that not working out were put to rest). I'm not sure it was the confrontation he needed but he was slick with his lies, I noticed. It wouldn't have been a good thing to get into a row with that guy.

As usual, the writing is brilliant and your characters continue to be realistic, compelling and tormented in their own way. :D

I'll be back!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello!

No worries! I don't think you took very long at all!

Haha, I really REALLY liked writing Snape that way. I'm a huge Snape fan myself, but specifically because he's so complicated. Trying, and rather failing, at being kind was an idea I really liked!

I'm really glad you liked the POV shift to Mary, too! I wanted to show that he really is loved (because OF COURSE he is, even if he doesn't realize it), and then also raise all the questions you noticed!

Oh yes, Tristan would be, I think, rather useless in a fight without a wand (and potentially formidable in a fight with one).

Thank you so much for the review, Gabbie!

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #20, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Exploring Hormonal Minds

27th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been really busy this week or two and haven't had the time to take care of these awesome stories for you guys. It's really good to be back!

I like that things have changed a little bit for Annett since the prank. I'm not sure if I appreciate Carter practically using her as a buffer to get O's on his assignments though and I liked that Annett herself was questioning that. I wonder if her brilliance will ever be recognized by her own teachers, it's really not fair, in my opinion. Hahahha.

What I really liked about this chapter though was her friendship with Al. I think that the pair of them are so adorable together and there's this underlying respect that they have for one another as well. They're able to understand one another in a way that no one else would be able to, Annett opened up to Al I think in this chapter, just a little. Their banter is wonderful too, I was laughing the entire time they were talking, it was almost too much for me. I really wish that Al would have been a bit more aggressive with how much he likes her though, or perhaps I'm not reading this correctly? Hm...

I like that Annett is so analytical that she doesn't quite understand relationships. her knowledge is so vast on some levels but on others, I think that she's lacking somewhat and I can't wait to see how she's able to get through them all. Al asking her to the dance of course was the sweetest moment but when they were there, I thought that he would finally make a move. But I think that he's working up to it...he winked at her and everyone knows that that's the sign of doom for any girl. What will Annett do? I can't help but wonder.

Also, Yang's appearance was a hilarious one as well. He sure does have a lot of nerve though, trying to ask her out again. :p

Another good chapter, I'll be back a lot quicker next time!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Dear Gabbie,

I completely understand! There is no need to apologise. :)

Oh no. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. After would get good marks without her, he just wants to learn it her way. Most professors have already read her work because, even with Cunningham, she is not afraid to write about her own theories. So they know where Carter gets it from. But she still does question why he wants her to tutor him. We'll find out why in a future chapter. ;)

Al an Annett are both rather reserved. Even if they did like each other the way you think they might (I neither confirm nor deny anything) they would still lack that degree of social aggression sometimes. As for your reading it right, well have to see, won't we?

You're right, she is definitely oblivious to how she fits in among her peers if at all. She's not a people person, she is more of a thing person.

Any girl? We hall have to see if that holds true to Annett over here. ;)

Thank you so much for all your thoughts! It pleases me to hear that you've been enjoying the story and laughing an all. :D

You are awesome!

Reciprocal love,
Em


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Review #21, by Gabriella HunterUpping The Ante: Live A Little

27th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that I'm so late. I would have gotten to this a lot sooner if I'd had the time but real life was a major pain. :D

So, things seemed to be going pretty well between Amos and Xandra in this chapter. I thought that there was something a little too smooth about him though and I wasn't really counting on him to stick around much. I got the feeling that Alex knew about that too and I was wondering why he wouldn't say anything, I guess he didn't want to hurt Xandra's feelings? What I liked about this chapter was that everyone has little crushes on so and so but things don't work out for all of them. I think that's something a lot of authors don't write very well, they seem to make all of their characters fall in love and stay in love with the same person. That doesn't necessarily happen to everyone at this age so I like what you've done here, it's very realistic. Xandra's girly side of course is adorable and the beginning of this chapter was hilarious, I wonder if they will make that Charms Club though. I would, just to shove it in Amos's face.

Anyway, I really liked all the detail and sub plots you put into the Quidditch game. I thought you wrote it very well and I'm curious to know more about Jackson and Kendra's relationship. I wonder what would happen if they just explored that a little? Hm...

Anyway, nice mention of Regulus in there too, I wonder if we'll see more of him. As usual, Sirius is his charming self and he it seems like he's really going for Xandra this time around. I like that she didn't immediately fall for his games either and simply walked away but it put her in the position of seeing Amos being a sleaze. I think she had some control because I would have punched him. >:(

Anyway, this ending was a bit of a cliffhanger but I'm looking forward to the next!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #22, by Gabriella HunterTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

26th September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie here with our swap and I'd been meaning to sneak on over here and see how your Astoria was doing. I hope that I didn't skip a chapter but I'm pretty sure that I didn't...

So, the battle of minds is still going on with Astoria and Draco. I really like how his thoughts twist and turn, you really get a sense of how much he's changed since the previous year. There's a sort of weary patience about him that I find really interesting, I think he's so sly that you don't pick up on his own fear though, which can prove dangerous. His knowledge of the Greengrass's and their past was a good little peek into his mind as well, the Death Eaters have far too much knowledge and I feel like Astoria is being pushed into a position she won't be able to talk herself out of.

It's obvious that what she had revealed to Ginny is coming back to bite her. The Weasley family is under careful observation but I think I cursed really, really loudly when Draco pulled out those Extendable Ears. I wasn't expecting that but oh, he just seemed so smug about it all, didn't he? What I did like about that entire scene was that he was able to sense that Astoria was an opponent that wasn't at all like her sister or anyone else he had encountered. They're an interesting pair, I think, they counter one another with enough wit and secrets to keep me reading, I never know what might happen next.

What I was worried about though was that little bit with Felix. What did he really hear coming from the Department of Mysteries? Is he just a bit mad with grief? Hm...

I'm really worried though about what Draco might have seen in her mind or what might be revealed. I didn't expect him to use that against her but then again, that was why it was such a shock! I am so worried about Astoria right now though and plus, we have that ever pressing feeling of someone arriving and that might not bode well.

This was a good chapter, I can't wait to see you again! :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Whoo-oo-oo-ooo-hoo! Answerin' reviews! Reviews for which the answers are so very overdue-oo!

*grins sheepishly*

You didn't skip a chapter : )
--Did I have a weird transition or something, that made it seem like that might be the case? Let me know. I definitely want to clean things up if they're unclear!

"Weary patience". I like it! It's a good way to describe Draco at this point. He's been pretty miserable for the better part of 2 years, and at this point he's just kind of numb, waiting it out. That's part of why Astoria so intrigues him. She makes him sit up and pay attention for the first time in a while.

You're so good at spotting danger--great self-preservation instincts. You're certain you're not a Slytherin?

That knowledge certainly is not a good thing for Astoria. Draco's had some aces tucked away, and we get to see some of that in this chapter. Like with the Ears. Ohmygosh, I love that the moment he throws that out got such a strong response! Muahahaha!

Draco definitely *sees* Astoria. On the one hand, it's kind of bad, since she definitely prefers to be unseen and, currently, she has a lot to hide. But that is exactly the thing that makes them such great foils for one another. They're both observant, Astoria because she's been trained to be, Draco because he's *had* to be (people are very curse-happy in DeathEaterville. It's a place where you can afford a lot of mistakes).

And I'm so glad that you think they are an interesting pair. I do like to keep people on the edge of their seats (Have I already used up my evil laugh quota? No? Muahahahaha!)

Oh, Felix. Did he hear something? Is he mad?
--Why not both?

Oh, good, worry! You should be worried. Worry is a highly appropriate response ; )

A shock, you say? I...don't think I'm going to be able to resist...nope, here it comes...

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks so much for the review, chicadee!

--Penny


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Review #23, by Gabriella HunterLove, Not War: The Spy

26th September 2014:
HellO!

This is Gabbie form the forums dropping by with your review and you know what's going to happen now! Be afraid! Hahahahaha.

I knew it. I just knew it! You were after my heart with this one, weren't you? I had my suspicions that Percy was going to be the one who turned out to be the spy from what happened in previous chapters but man, the emotional punch in this chapter was just painful. What I liked the most about this chapter was that Draco's attitude towards the Weasley's has really shifted, he was able to respect them. I liked that he was able to see how much dedication they put into raising their family and how much they really cared about their well-being but it also added this sense of sadness to the scene, since we were about to see the family being torn apart. Draco's concern for them was very touching and I felt badly for him too, he was being put into a very uncomfortable position and it took a lot of courage for him to finally speak up about the truth.

Molly's reaction of course was gut wrenching and while I expected her to faint, I was glad that she was able to stay standing. It was far more effective and I think that it was more powerful, her tears were enough to have me nearly stop reading this chapter though. Arthur's denial of the situation at first was very realistic, what parent wants to believe that of their own child? He slowly began to accept it but I think that they're going to be in that state for a long time to come, I feel like that wound is never going to close.

But Percy is a Death Eater as well? That just...it's too much for me. I wanted to scream and then cry and then scream some more! I can't believe him! What I liked though was that you had the family talking about that little darkness in his heart and how his ambition carried him over to do the unthinkable. It fit in well with his character here and it was a gutsy move. I know that a lot of people wouldn't have thought it all that shocking, considering that it's Percy but I think that you really took a risk here. It's great to read and I think that you've set up the remainder of the story very well. We've got a war coming and a family on opposite sides, that's just going to be a delicious read for me. :D

Charlie and the others got a bit more personality in this chapter too. Sibling hierarchy is really a thing, the twins have a respect for Charlie and Bill that we wouldn't have ordinarily have seen. I also liked that you gave each twin their own character traits as well, Fred is obviously more hot tempered than George but seems to follow his brother's lead every now and then. It's an interesting look into their relationship, I was able to feel all the anger between them and the heartbreak as well. :(

I'm really curious to know how you'll go forward with the story now. Obviously the Order is shook up by this news and McGonagall is being questioned as a leader but I'm glad that their loyalty towards one another stayed true. I can't wait to see what happens next and this angry Neville of yours is really capturing my attention, I hope he doesn't go off the deep end.

All in all though this was a great chapter, it had all the wonderful things that I needed with just enough foreshadowing to keep me guessing. I noticed a few little grammar things like "of coarse" should be "of course" but you can easily clean that up. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #24, by Gabriella HunterDaydreaming: Daydreaming

23rd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums stopping by with our swap! I'm really sorry that it took am inute but here I am now! You read three chapters of my story and I hadn't even managed to stop by and read any of yours. Shame on me!

So, I remember seeing this challenge around on the forums but opted not to get into it because I can't write Draco Malfoy in just 1000 words. I just...can't. It's impossible. Hahhah. I tend to write really bulky chapters and so seeing it was like Kryptonite or something.

Anyway, on to this! I really, really enjoyed this. It has the making of a good Dramione and I think that your Draco here is a bit of a romantic, this isn't a side of him that we've seen very often but I like it. His thoughts about Hermione were more sweet than lusty and while he was having a few doubts, it was obvious that he found her far more interesting than he had previously thought before. I think my favorite part of this chapter was the way he described her expressions, there was something really tender about that.

And then...

I was totally rooting for them! The kiss itself was written very well and I thought for a moment that it was going to go in another direction but then Draco woke up. o_o

I was sad. Hahahah.

I liked that you had this being a dream though, as it shows what Draco really wants in his life. Of course, he ruined whatever bit of friendship they could have had by calling her a Mudblood but I think he was just doing it to protect himself.

I would love to read more of this if you ever write a complete story. It was a good read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again! I decided to do this challenge because someone from my house created it and I wanted to write some Draco, but trust me it was really hard. My original draft was at least 500 words longer than it was supposed to be, but I managed to cut it down. Although I can totally see how this wouldn't work for you because pretty much all your chapters and one-shots are super long. I didn't even know what to do with this story at first, 1000 words is not a lot to put a story into, this is really just the tinyist glimpse into Draco's life.

I am really glad you enjoyed it though! I was sad, too, when I made Draco wake up, lol. I may write Draco again soon, but it won't be a Dramonie. Or at least I'm not planning one at the moment. Who knows? I've got so many partially written one-shots I've been meaning to complete for ages.

Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm sure we'll chat again soon.

xxNix


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Review #25, by Gabriella HunterThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Satisfying Humiliation

23rd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and this has to be the most hilarious thing that I've read in a long time! I couldn't stop laughing the entire time, it was actually so brilliant that I wonder why I had never thought of doing this myself! Hahahahaha.

It was great finally seeing the plan come to action though. Annett and the gang were very sly about keeping it a secret for so long but also they were very organized, right down to the last detail. I'm impressed. I remember feeling a bit sorry for Yang in the previous chapter but after reading this, I'm going to have to admit that he was a major prat. I can't believe that he actually said that he wanted to basically get into her pants (Annett's choice of outfit was actually really spot on for what they were going to do and completely out of character for her, which made it all the sweeter)! What a jerk! I wonder how many other girls have fallen for that line? I hope none! Annett had some major control over her anger though because I would have hexed him for sure after using that line.

The entire Hogsmead trip though was so funny, I like that Annett was toying with Yang the entire time while also giving us explanations on what was going on behind the scenes. James and the others are eerily talented when it comes to pulling pranks and they all went above and beyond! I about died with the part with the toad, I couldn't believe that you had written something that hilarious so smoothly--also, it was SO funny seeing Yang lose his cool.

The medusa hair was also a favorite. Hahahhaa. I'm curious to know what the group is going to do now though. I hope they don't split up!

As usual though, your characters are fantastic and the flow for this chapter was spot on. I wasn't able to stop reading!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabby!

Thank you so very much for coming back to read and review!

I'm so delighted that you think so! And it means so much to me that I could make you laugh.

Yes it was most definitely not very much like her at all to dress in such a way. But the things she will do for her own amusement. . . She is very unfazed by a lot things: Cunningham and Yang for instance.

Bahaha! I'm glad I could change your mind about Yang. He likes her for all the wrong reasons.

Thank you so much. There were quite a few components to this prank, so it's relieving to hear that it came out smoothly.

Well we shall see what happens next, shall we? ;)

Awww, Gabby! Thank you. :)

Cheers,
Em


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