Reading Reviews From Member: Gabriella Hunter
  
574 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gabriella HunterHarry Potter and the Plot of Power: 01 For Crown and Country

26th July 2014:
HELLO!

Hey, its great to be back! I was hoping that I would get another request from you and thank goodness that you decided to ask for another review because this is fantastic. I think that this has to be the most unique story that I've read in a LONG time! I'm really enjoying the group of characters that you've created, their backstories and the subtle things you've done to show the passage of time. The opening scene with Ron and Hermione was my favorite (Because that last bit had me all up in my poor feels) and I love how you have their relationship. Usually they argue and fuss a lot with one another but you can see the depth of their love and friendship and I thought it was very well-done. There was a bitter sweet quality to their conversation, however and I liked that Ron wasn't really able to give up on what he'd enjoyed for the past few years. The fact that you're not afraid to age them and even make them apprehensive about getting a bit older was very realistic. Gray hairs and wrinkles aren't the usual things that you see in these sort of stories, some people make it seem as if time just stops and everyone keeps their smashing good looks. Hahah.

Anyhoo, executions?! These peope are insane and I can't help but wonder how far they're willing to go! Its scary but I think you wrote that very well and the introduction to new characters and faces was nice as well. There wasn't alot of information on each one but it give them a bit of mystery that I think is really fascinating, I'd love to be in their heads for a while to see how they tick.

Ah, Hugo! No! I am so terrified for him and what happened to Lorcan?! Who kidnapped him and who is that dead body?! D':

Gah, I loved this to pieces so I hope I hear from you again! No major CC's either, keep on writing and pumping out those chapters!!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #2, by Gabriella HunterBertie Bottís Every Flavoured Beans: Introduction

26th July 2014:
HELLO!

Hey, there! Its Gabbie with your review and I'm sorry that I'm late getting back to you, also its nice to meet you and junk!

Now, reading this...I wouldn't have thought that this was your first fanfic (?), I thought it was very well-done considering. I liked the flow and pace of your introduction as well, it was easy to follow and I gathered a lot of information about Rose from the first few paragraphs with only a bit that could have me really curious to find out later on. I think that you've made her a tad more realistic than some of the other fics that I've read--she's usually so perfectly perfect and that gets old--so I enjoyed reading about her not being sure of where she wanted to go with her life and who she wanted to be. Also, I loved the bit about Honeydukes and being a massive craver of sweets, I think you hit the nail on the head with that one so good job!

Also, I really like that her love interest was Lorcan and not someone more typical, like Scorpius. I enjoy those too but its nice to read something a bit more fresh and I thought that the backstory you gave on his relationship with Dom was nice as well, I could tell that their feelings for each other weren't what they were pretending. I'd have liked a bit more about Rose's relationship with Dom, however so I think you could add in a few sentences about that somewhere. How well did they get along? Did Rose hate her for interfering with her relationship with Lorcan?

Also, I think you can say sixth year instead of actually putting the number in there. It sort of stands out as being a bit weird and in one paragraph you mean, "offense" instead of "offensive" but that was all that I could spot. The rest of the grammar was spot on and really good and judging by the ending of this, I know that I'm going to be in for a ride.

I'll try to get back to this soon but I have another story to review in my thread but I promise that I'll be back! You can re-request at some point if I forget though!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: That's alright Gabbie! Thank you for taking the time to review!

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments! It is my very first fic, though I have been reading Next Gen stories ever since the last HP book came out, so I've always wanted to give it a try!
I'm so glad you found her realistic!

Dom and Rose's relationship is quite complicated at the moment :P
It's something that will definitely need to be developed/explained more in further chapters (or like you say, sneak a line or two in the intro when I get around to updating it).

Thanks for picking up on those! I will change them!

No worries, I definitely will re-request!
Thank you so much for the amazing review!!

-Rosiful


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Review #3, by Gabriella HunterThe Fourth Daughter: The Challenge

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

I'm back! I told you that I would be reading this next chapter and reviewing for you after that last one left me in a knot. Haha.

Dezzy's situation is pretty awful, I couldn't imagine sitting there with all of my sisters (If I had any, mind you) with my horrible aunt and scary father. I think that scene was written really well, the girl's unhappiness was something that was so clear but not over done. Some people would have went on and on and on about it but you just let the scene speak for itself and it was a great read. I feel sorry for the girls though and poor Clara, her spirit was all broken up about what Aunt Rowena had said to her.

The chapter had a great moment in the middle though with the girl's decorating the Christmas tree with Mistress Helga, it was a beautiful scene and I'm glad that the girls got some happiness out of it. Helga was being awfully bold with having them there though, I hope she doesn't get into any trouble!

That ending! How could you? Really?! I was feeling the love and being so happy for Dezzy and Godric and then you just had to throw in some feels. Hahahha. I think their father is taking things too far and I can't wait to see what the other girl's reaction to this challenge will be! Did their aunt put him up to this? Will he ever forgive them for dancing? Gah, I need to know.

And Dezzy confessed her feelings for Godric!!! How could you leave it there?! D': What will happen next?! Will we see Salazar again? Darn you for this! Hahaha.

So obviously, I loved this and can't wait for an update so don't hesitate to let me know!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #4, by Gabriella HunterThe Fourth Daughter: The Nightmare

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

I was just about to pop on over to read the current chapter when I realized that I hadn't left a review for this one! Gasp!

So I'm really feeling for Dezzy and the girls, Aunt Rowena's expectations of them are so high that she's intent on breaking them in order to get what she wants. D': I wonder how they'll break free from her? I want to hope for the best but she made me angry, telling Clara that she doesn't approve of her reading habits. And then Dezzy fainted from the stress of it all! What are they going to do about their father, I wonder, I noticed that she was thinking of his disappointment a lot and it made me so sorry for her. I hope he shows up in the next chapter so I can see how that develops.

The nightmare! Scary stuff! Poor Dezzy, I was really worried about her and the awful dream Godric just made me want to hug her. Does that speak of the future? Or is someone messing around in her head? The pull to go back to the pavilion is strong...I wonder if Salazar has something to do with that?! I'm going on to the next chapter now so see you then! Haha.

On my end, expect Abandon today or tomorrow and after that I'll try to get At Midnight or A Force of Wills up for you. Haha. D':

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #5, by Gabriella HunterComplicated: In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that I'm so late. I didn't mean to be you know but saving the world takes a lot of my time. Hahah. Also, nice to meet you!

Wow. Gosh, I thought MY family dinners were awkward but this just took the cake! I am all for some angst and drama though so this was addictive to read. I actually liked the way you started out this chapter, I was able to get a good sense of the situation to come and I thought Olivia's narrative was just brilliant. Her reasons for hating Christmas were sort of justified and I was able to get a good sense of how her family life was too. Man, they sound like my immediate family actually and that is not a good thing. HAHA.

*Ahem*

So, I really liked how you slowly built up on the tension. I wasn't able to figure out who her parents were but it came together really nicely, Pansy's obvious devotion to Draco after all these years is both sad and a little strange. Apparently her feelings for him never really left her. :(

Olivia's dad is a piece of work. I feel like he's not even really present with his family and doesn't even like them, I'm not sure if I'll even want to read about him after this chapter. Haha. I do like that you didn't shy away from that though, there are a lot of stories that will gloss over neglectful parents but I applaud you for writing it and putting their issues out in the open. That's a bold choice and I have to say that that dinner scene was just...my goodness, it was great to read but the content made me wince a little but it was SO good--Pansy's delusional about Draco I think and it just sort of escalated from there. Also, bravo for bringing up the fact that Draco WASN'T a good person when he was a boy and bringing up past trauma, I felt for Katie and Oliver (Also, I had them get married in one of my own stories so mild meld!). Their pain was subtle but powerful.

And that ending! WHAT?! I couldn't believe it! I hadn't thought that it would go in that direction! What on earth is going to happen next?! Olivia's dad is terrible. T-T

Okay, my only issues were that Olivia's attitude towards her cousin made her come off a bit unlikeable. I know that you said that they didn't have much to do with one another but I think her calling him a Moran and so forth was a bit much. I would have liked more of a background and a solid reason for their dislike that would explain their antagonism. I am glad that they tried to come to some sort of truce while they were trying to stop their parent's arguing.

That's my only CC, really. I thought the rest was excellent! Feel free to re-request, I'll save a spot for you!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie,

Thanks so much for your review and all the helpful feedback. It's really great to hear from you. I'll definitely re-request for my next couple of chapters if that's okay.

Let me know if you'd every like me to look at anything of yours.

Thanks again,

Emma x


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Review #6, by Gabriella HunterControl: "I'm dreadful at potions and I have a hatred for James Sirius Potter." -Gwen Larson

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm really sorry that it took me a minute to get back to you. Things have been annoying! Gosh!

Oh, its nice to meet you too. :3

Okay, so I adore Next Gen, let me be honest and say that I have at least four on my own account and there is no shame in that. So of course I checked this out very happy indeed! I also love reading different stories about James, who I found to be a very fun character to write, personally even though I have made him into a monster. Hahaha. Anyhoo, I thought that the beginning of this chapter was pretty darn good, I loved all the different personalities that were mixed in and the humor was great. Gwen comes off to me as being very stubborn and I thought her obvious dislike for James was hilarious, though I'd really like to get a better reason as to why.

Did he do or say something mean to her in the past? Or perhaps they've known each other a bit too long? Hahah. I'd like to see more of what ties them together but I think there's room for that in the later chapters. (I noticed that you have a lot more chapters so this is good for me)

I thought the battle with Lily for the Snitch was well-written too. I was able to get a lot of information about James's family and a lot of other supporting characters as well. Gwen is not one to be teased.Hahahha.

I liked Dom and Avery but I think there could be a bit more background for them aside from what you revealed in this first chapter. I'm all for a good party but I'd like a few more details about them besides that so I can get better invested in their characters.

I really liked Gwen's breakdown of all the people in her life but I thought that you could have made this part a bit smoother. It felt a bit choppy and I think that if you actually blended them into a few paragraphs with some details, it would flow better. I did like her commentary though, she's hilarious and I think I adore the way she watches after her friends too. I wonder what will happen to her and James in the next chapter? Being drunk has backfired on her, I think! Hahaha. And what is this sudden interest that Stella has for the horrible pair that is James/Scorpius? Which one does she have a fancy for? Hm...what will Gwen do about that, I wonder? Hahaha.

Aside from what I pointed out, I thought that this was an entertaining read so don't feel shy about re-requesting!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #7, by Gabriella HunterTrixangela Snape: Year 1: The Prologue

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and its nice to meet you! :D Also, sorry that I'm late!

Okay, this is a really unique idea. I have never read a story with Snape and Lily in this way, I had never even thought of twisting his story to the point where he had a family of his own. I think it was a bold choice and I really love the world that you created, its AU but its got a few traces of the original HP books that I love. The beginning had me wrapped up in the story really quickly and I was fascinated by Harry's ability to bring Lily back to life with the Dark Lord's wand? Wow. That was some great writing too, it was heartbreaking but shocking at the same time and I think you wrote Snape pretty well too. His resentment for Harry is SO clear and so...well, not pleasant to read but I think you kept him as canon as possible. His love for Lily was also heartbreaking and wonderful to read, you could see how much he cared about her. BUT I was really mad at him for just abandoning Harry though! Agh, that wasn't a very good thing to do! I think it was awfully selfish but he was in a moment of grief and probably wasn't thinking straight and there was nothing very Marry Sue about it either so THANK YOU. Hahah.

Also, I enjoyed your Albus. I have never dared to write him before. Hahahha.

Now, the ending with Snape and Trixi was very good, I liked how awkward he was to be with her and how difficult it was for him to be there for her after Lily's death.

I want to find out more about how Harry brought her back...

Anyway, I really enjoyed this so don't be scared to re-request!

There were only a few grammar issues in the earlier paragraphs but most of it was pretty spot on so you should be able to look through and fix those without any problem. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! It was awesome! I am glad you liked all those parts (except Snape's selfishness... yeah... it's only SLIGHTLY AU, so I can't totally leave out that Harry needed to be raised by the Dursleys - sorry :() And we love Snape because he's Snape, I totally can't rewrite his character, otherwise, I may as well made my own OC that is very similar to him.

I have noticed the grammar issues myself, I have been just too lazy to edit them, I have gone through many of the current chapters fixing mistakes, so eventually, I'll get to this chapter too. I also need to change some of Harry's words around, as someone noted that he may have been talking a bit too immature for his age.


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Review #8, by Gabriella HunterWake up, Rose.: It's Kind of a Funny Story.

22nd July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your awesome review! Be prepared for that! Also, I'm sorry that I'm a bit late. T-T

So, we're back to Rose and I was actually a bit worried for her. I thought that something else had happened for her to be in the hospital wing but I think working in the love potion with the alcohol was a good twist. I never expected that! And it makes since that those two things shouldn't be taken together but I do think that Rose should have gotten into a bit more trouble for drinking--maybe she gets a letter from her parents? I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't have just been blown under the rug unless she bribed the school nurse. Hahaha.

Oh, I caught something too: "Mrs. Weasley" should be, "Ms. Weasley" since Rose isn't married. That was the only thing that stood out and it'll be easy to spot. :D

I was really surprised by Scorpius! I had a feeling that he liked her but I was shocked that he would actually want to get it off of his chest right then and there. It was pretty brave of him but I wonder how Rose will handle the truth of it later on? Did she even believe him? Will he be more assertive later? Hm...

Albus and Dom! Tsk, tsk, tsk. They were really naughty for doing that to Rose and I can understand why she's mad. Will they make up? I know that they didn't intend on her and Scorpy...you know, doing all that but I hope they understand the consequences!

I thought this was a good chapter, it certainly didn't go in the direction that I thought and I hope you update soon, okay? Aside from what I pointed out earlier, there weren't any other problems that I could spot so keep on writing!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!

I'm glad you liked my little early-story twist. I didn't even think of Rose getting in trouble, honestly. I suppose I may just write a scene in which she gets a stern talking to from her head of house or something similar. And yes, I edited out the Mrs. but it hasn't made it's way through the queue yet! That must have been a complete brain lapse on my part.

Scorpius (in my mind) had been wanting to say it for years and seeing Rose so close to actually dying encouraged him to let that loose! I hope Rose's decision of how to handle what he told her keeps you interested!

Al and Dom are a bit immature, if you couldn't tell by their actions, but I think eventually I'll have them come around and regret what they did.

I'll be sure to updating soon(ish), thank you so much for this review! You've lived up to your previous awesomeness :)


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Review #9, by Gabriella HunterRisk: One

19th July 2014:
HEY!

Its been a while since I've been able to stop by and I'm REALLY sorry but I've been oddly busy these past few weeks. And my internet connection doesn't like me...

On to this! I had been meaning to read this for a while but I never really had the time so I'm glad that I finally managed to give it a read. First of all, I really love your Molly! I had never imagined her as an Auror before and I don't think its been used very much in fanfiction so that in itself says a lot about her character. She's brave and dedicated and that's fantastic for a main character--I wonder what made her want to go into that field of work? Perhaps you'll go into more detail later? Also, can't wait to find out more about this case!

Its got me puzzled! I love a good murder/mystery too so I'm going to be waiting for the next chapter. The love letter from the 1800's really captured my attention, what was that all about and who was this dead girl? How many more victims are going to come?! D':

I'll admit that I was a little confused at the very beginning but I was able to see that it was a different POV. I think you could add those in a bit smoother or blend them in better while the main story is going on but other than that, I'm really excited about this!

On my end, I'm trying to get the latest chapter of Abandon up there and after that its back to A Force of Blaise! So, hope you don't mind waiting for a little while longer. D':

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #10, by Gabriella HunterAn Illusion of Sanity: The Revival of Chivalry

19th July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, I'm SO sorry that it took me so long. The weather was really bad and I was catching up on some of my own stories that I've been neglecting so I wasn't able to check my thread.

Anyway, this! So, I'm really interested in that opening scene, there was obviously something dark and violent happening for Perri to be left alone the way she was. I want to know what happened and how she was able to get away--I think you've made her a bit mysterious and I really like that. You're not able to figure her out very easily and that's always a good thing. Now, I was a bit confused by the platform scene, I don't think I was able to grasp what was really going on. Why was Perri with the Potters/Weasleys? I would have liked a bit more detail on her surroundings and a bit of exposition would have cleared that right up.
Also, I'm not sure if Roxy is James's cousin or not, there wasn't much of a description of her features aside from the red hair. But I do like their relationship though, I was able to see how close they were and I enjoyed how they brought Perri up to speed. Also, Albus is a Slytherin in this story! Awesome! Can't wait to see more of him and Scorpius.

(In my story, he's a Gryffindor)

Anyway, I really liked the subtle differences in vocabulary too. As an American, I often find myself confused by British-isms so I thought that was very well done. I hope that Perri will be able to move around Hogwarts without too many problems! I wonder if something is going to happen between her and Finn? Hm.
,
Aside from the few things that I pointed out, this was a good read! I hope you re-request so I'll be able to find out more about Perri's past and meet the rest of your characters!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi there! Not to worry! I totally understand, you have to utilize the bad weather to attend to your stories (I know I do). Thank you so much for your feedback! I will definitely try and clear up the opening scene so it's more clear for the reader. I don't want people to be confused, so I'll be sure to fix it up!

I agree! As an American I'm always confused/intrigued about the British-isms (as you call them) that appear in stories. I love them, and I love trying to figure out what they mean. Ooo as for Finn and Perri, you'll have to wait and see xD

Thank you so much for reviewing! It was very helpful! I will definitely be stopping by to re-request this story!

xx Rachel


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Review #11, by Gabriella HunterReincarnation: Back

14th July 2014:
HELLO!

Its Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you! Muahahahaha. Nice to meet you and everything!

So, I might want to check out your other story because this had me a little bit confused at first, I wasn't able to piece together what had happened for Rose's spirit to be floating around like this. Something tragic happened and I'm SO curious on what it might have been but I was able to follow along after a while and my heart really was feeling for her. I'd like to know more about Rose before this so I think it would probably be better if I'd been asked to review your other story but this is fine, it has a certain mystery around it that makes me want to read on.

I loved that she possessed another body but what happened to the real Rhea? How did she die? I hope you go into more detail about that later on because I'm thinking it was foul play. Perhaps you could have given more description on how the body was? Was there blood? Broken bones? I'd like to know more...

And I loved the flashbacks that you threw in, I was able to feel her connection to her family but what is going to happen now that Rose is gone?! What is she going to do? How is Scorpius involved?! Gah, I'm antsy for information...

Okay, I'm not really used to this way of writing but I thought that things were little too choppy, I would have liked fuller paragraphs and more information but I think you're building up to that for later so I shall forgive you. Other than that, I enjoyed this so thanks for the read! Its very unique!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! First of all, thanks for your review! Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you about the prequel. Sorry about that! I haven't got around to writing about Rhea, i promise, her past would be explained soon. Thank you for reviewing again, and i will keep your points in mind while writing!

Thanks again,
Midnight


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Review #12, by Gabriella HunterThe Push: The Push

14th July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and its nice to meet you and all that jazz. So, a one-shot! I love writing them myself, they're always so much fun and plus, I'm lazy so I tend to write a lot of them so I don't have to get back to my other stories. Ahem.

Anyway, I have read a few stories with Blaise having a sister and I really like the idea. It would be neat to see him dealing with someone older or younger than him but I liked the relationship you set up here. Lucy (I shall shorten her name to be cool) is aware of her brother's faults but she also has the state of mind to make her own decisions about pureblood life and I found that very well-done. It makes her stand out from the other Slytherins and makes her a bit of an odd ball but there's nothing wrong with that. Helga is SO hilarious by the way, that little tick of hers just had me dying with laughter. So odd but so perfect.

I liked that Lucy was intent on making her own way in the world instead of relying on their mother or their image. I think that's a very admirable quality in a girl her age and I'm glad that you added that in for her.

The moments with Crabbe and Goyle, Malfoy and Pansy were good as well. They fit the way I thought they would and I was able to gather enough about them just from a few conversations and mannerisms. Draco is the same as ever but I liked that you mentioned that his friendship with the boys wasn't nearly as close-knit as I'd thought. What a horrible friend he is! Hahah.

Snape was hilarious too, he was a favorite of mine reading this. I think you got him spot-on too, I had never thought of writing him before but I liked his interaction with the students and what happened at the end. It was brilliant!

Now, the bet was simply awful! Slytherins are the worst even when it comes to each other! Pansy was sly and manipulative but Lucy didn't seem to fall victim to it. Instead, she turned everything around and ended up having a rather lovely moment with Goyle at the end! :D

Now, the only criticism that I could give is that your transitions were a bit jumpy and that you should think about smoothing them out. Also, you don't need two exclamation points when someone is yelling, one will do quite fine. Hahah. Aside from that, a bit more detail would be great but because this is a one-shot, I don't think you'll need to worry about that!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review Gabbie! I am so happy you enjoyed it.

The crit you have is pretty much what everyone else has said about it, so I may try fixing it sometime (or re-writing this), I know a lot of people are wanting another chapter or even a novel. :)

Who knows what I'll do with it.



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Review #13, by Gabriella HunterHarry Potter and the Plot of Power: 00 Prologue

14th July 2014:
HELLO!

Hey, there its Gabbie! Its been a long time since I left a review for you, hasn't it? I am SO sorry about that! D':

Wow. So this is a completely different way to start a chapter and the plot of it is really fascinating, I've never even thought of doing something like this. How did you do it?! So, the scenes with the patients were not too graphic but I was able to gather what had happened to them and there was just enough detail for me to cringe a little. Excellent work. Hahha. Anyway, Cassandra kind of had my jaw dropping at how she viewed the subjects as just part of an experiment and not as actual people. Oh, dear. I couldn't quite like her that much after that but I'm hoping that there's a reason for her strict rules of believing so much in science. But, gosh!

Anyway, I was able to grasp just a little bit of her world and I'm curious to see more. I know that this is only a prologue so I can't ask for too much but it really did have my mind twisting, I'm REALLY eager to find out what else you've done. The world she lives in seems very sterile and cold but I'm thinking that was done on purpose?

Now, her boss was someone that gave me the chills. He was just as apathetic as some of the doctors that I've encountered and it really made me feel rather angry. But, I loved the way you wrote him, he seems like he was thought out well before you wrote him down. There's a lot of mystery behind him and the fact that Cassandra is scared of him just makes me want to learn more. He's intimidating for sure and his murky past is something I'd like to know more about.

PLUS! Experiments!! What?! That is what is making my mind spin, I can't believe that they were playing around with science in order to create magic? What?! Fascinating. Really unique way of bringing both worlds together. I can't wait for more, especially with that ending...How could Harry be involved? Hm...very nice cliffhanger!

I didn't spot too many mistakes but a few words are missing for a few paragraphs. Everything else is just fine! :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Gabbie!! It's been so long! I've missed you!!

I was inspired by Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood anime. However, instead of human transmutation, I started to think of human experimentation and the evolution of science. I started to think of "what if muggles found magic? What if intelligent muggles found it?" and it just sort of snowballed from there. Cassandra here is my favorite OC. If you continue reading, you'll learn that she's not just evil and will hopefully will start to see her in a different light.

Her boss is my secret. Mwahahaha!! He is rather apathetic about everything and has tunnel vision, but again, he's not what he seems. There's a reason why he's doing this and why he feels hatred/dislike for Harry.

The science part is the tricky part! hahaha!! And yes, they're playing with magic to create magic!

Thank you for your kind words!!! It makes me happy that you enjoyed this.

Until next time, dearie!!
--Rosie


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Review #14, by Gabriella HunterThe Lost Wolf: A Wolf at the Door

14th July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, my dear! Nice to meet you and all that junk. So, this was really unique! I'd never read anything like this before and I think the way you opened this chapter was very bold and very dark. Most stories don't open on such a violent event but I applaud you for having the courage and its very well written. I was able to feel every bit of pain that Cassie was going through and my heart stopped towards the end of that flash back.

I want to know what happened to her family even more now and what was happening for her town to be attacked. I hope you go into more detail later on! :D

Cassie herself seems like a really interesting character. She's confident, capable but also vulnerable and I think that makes her a bit more relatable as a person. There's something sensitive about her that I found very realistic and I hope we get to see more of that in the future. You didn't give any descriptions on her appearance, however aside from the scars and while I found that VERY cool (Most people wouldn't have done this) I'd like to have some inkling of her hair color or something. Not sure if you'd intended for her not to be described but I'm just a sucker for detail.

Now, the Colonel is horrible. I've written some awful fathers in my day but there's just something about this man that really made me angry and a little creeped out. Even though Cassie was adopted, he treats her with the same sort of regard he would a dog and that was not a pun. On one hand, I'm glad that she's away from him but on the other...I can't believe that he just kicked her out! I can't BELIEVE that he was going to MAKE her marry someone she didn't love!

I'd like to meet this boy that she deliberately pushed away too. Hah. Cassie was very proud of herself for that one!

Now, that ending shocked me. Lupin?! As in...Remus?! I have to know more now so don't be afraid to re-request!

I didn't spot too many problems but there are a few words that are missing in paragraphs but everything else seems pretty good.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #15, by Gabriella HunterRose-Coloured Glasses: Real beaches have sand

12th July 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, its nice to meet you!

I've written quite a few Next Gen stories (Well, three? Four?) and I'm no expert on how they should be written or what qualifies as a good one because there are so many. Now, the thing about these sort of stories is that they're all so different but a lot of them have the same sort of similar make up, your story has a unique feel to it by introducing Jean as another sibling. She isn't like the others, for example and I'd actually like to know more about her and the family. Why is she so anti-social? If her parents never really paid much attention to her, I think you could broaden that issue out somewhat so I could really get in her head. That was the only thing that bothered me, you have plenty of time to develop other things and her past has me interested! What happened? You could have given me a bit more hints on that to show that it was a lingering issue but you have plenty of other chapters to get that started! :D

Jean as a character seems pretty sassy and I like that about her but I hope you show a bit more range with her emotions. Just a tad more detail about her and I'll be in love, I thought the scene with Teddy was hilarious as well. How awkward...

I'm waiting to see how the rest of the family dynamics will be and I'm curious to see how you'll write BIll and Fleur. So far, your first chapter is so different from the way I've written my Next Gen's and I'm really excited what else you'll end up doing!

Aside from those issues that I pointed out, I enjoyed this! I hope you update soon and let me know!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie, lovely to meet you and thanks heaps for this review!!! :D

Now, to respond to the issues you brought up (yay!!) >:D ...

Because this is only the first chapter, it's only an introduction to all Jean's issues (the dark past, the sociopathism, etc.) so never fear, we find out gradually why Jean is so antisocial, and I am definitely expanding on her personality and mindset in the later chapters!! I'm trying to make her a little enigmatic, so we gradually find out more and more about her as the story goes on, as opposed to just stating everything in an introduction. Again, you will discover the reason for this as we get further along in the story ;)

I'm glad you liked the scene with Teddy, as I'm really scared most people will read it and go 'ew' because of the whole being unfaithful thing :/

I'll definitely be letting you know when the next chapter is up and begging for another great review!! Thanks again :D

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #16, by Gabriella HunterAll is NOT Fair in Love and War: |Prolouge| Blessed With a Son

12th July 2014:
HELLO!

Its Gabbie here with your review! Its nice to meet you! I stalk the forums and archives every once in a while so be sure to stop by and chat if thou would want weird conversation.

Anyhoo, this was a really different beginning for a story. I was drawn in from the first sentence, the scene you created was dark and so foreboding and whatever joy that was supposed to have come from having a baby was completely destroyed. Voldemort holding a baby is enough to make me shiver and what he actually commanded out of Lucius and his wife was horrible! How terrible is that? I thought you wrote the Dark Lord very well though, I had never given him much of a chance myself but he seemed very fleshed out here, I think that you kept a lot his foulness just right. Poor Lucius though! I'd never liked about him as a character but here he seems to real and human, I felt so sorry for him. Draco's life was spared but at such a terrible price! I lost my mind for a second there. Its such a great twist to Draco's life, I'm eager to see how it works out in later chapters. His parents will regret it later, I'm sure...

I'll most likely come back to this but if I don't, feel free to re-request. I didn't spot too many grammar things but maybe a word or two is missing from the third of paragraph? I thought the characters were written well, I would have liked a little more detail on Lucius's marriage and how he felt about Narcissa, maybe just a little background on their romance and relationship. Otherwise, I really liked it!

Now, as someone who hardly ever gets reviews, I understand your pain. I haven't gotten a review for some of my other stories in a year or two? Don't give up on your writing though and make sure that you promote them!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #17, by Gabriella HunterWake up, Rose.: Wake up.

12th July 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie here with your requested review, its nice to meet you and all that jazz.

So this was a pretty neat Scor/Rose, I've read a few of these sort of stories but nothing quite like this before. I really like your family dynamics, I'm always really glad to read how others write the Next Gen kids and yours are SO different from mine! An anti-social Roxanne? Interesting! I want to know more about that, personally since I think you could really have some good drama later, maybe something darker happening behind the scenes? Hm...

I really liked Albus and its great to see Rose being friends with Dom, I usually don't see her with that particular cousin. I think they have an interesting relationship, they seem to balance one another out--I would like to see a bit more growth from them later on but I think you set them up nicely here.

Oh, and I LOVED the way you wrote this beginning. Rose's thoughts about Scorpius are hilarious and it reminded me of those old eighties movies, what with him looking at her at that EXACT moment while she's thinking about him. HAHA. Scorpius is a curious little thing, I'd like to know more about why he doesn't like Rose, I'm guessing he doesn't LIKE that he might LIKE her? I'd wanted to see a bit more of their banter and antagonism but you can always talk about that later. Is there something that happened in the past that made him dislike her? It would give them a bit more depth, I think.

Anyway, I wasn't expecting that ending! What are they going to do now?! They're hilarious drunks however but I wonder how much they're going to remember the next day...you've got me curious on how you're going to resolve this!

My only critique would be that it felt a tad rushed, I felt like the scenes jumped a bit too quickly before I could get into the groove of the characters and setting. If you slowed it down just a little, it could be used to give a bit more details about their lives and I'm eager to see how Rose will develop.

Other than that, it was a good read! Thanks so much! Feel free to stop by again!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!

I'm glad I could switch up the family dynamics enough to possibly bring a little uniqueness to a pretty common ship. There's definitely a fair share of drama that's going to erupt in this family in later chapter, that's for sure.

Albus, Dom and Rose are, for better or worse, a kind of trio. I think they all balance each other out and bring something to the table, the way I imagine them at least.

Rose and Scorpius are both strange cases and textbook examples of their houses. There's a whole lot to be exposed and examined about those two in the future.

And I know this chapter was a bit rushed through and possibly left too much to the imagination, but future chapters may make up for that, as some of them are completely dedicated to finding out more details and getting to know the characters.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, I will make sure to request again!


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Review #18, by Gabriella HunterCahaya: Victory

9th June 2014:
HELLO!

Hey, there! I told you that I'd be here to read this in no time at all and here I am! I am seriously blown away by how lovely this is, I didn't expect this from you and it was such a nice surprise that I could barely keep track of my feels. I think the narration and style is so unique for this one-shot, I can get the scope of Victoire's life through this so well and I adore what you did.

Each paragraph is like a piece of her life and the changes that you show happening here and there are so poignant. The heartbreak of a first love, the insecurity of being a teenager and then finally, to becoming a woman.

Gah, it was beautiful writing! What inspired this? I've never seen a Victoire portrayed in this way and I LOVE it. I honestly do. I hope you continue making more one-shots or stories like this because I felt like I understood and loved her by the end. Brilliant!

Much love,

Gabbie

P.S.: "Transparent" shall be up by tomorrow at the latest and "Abandon" is up there waiting and there's always Audrey and Albus to get you caught up! Update soon!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this one-shot! I'm not sure where the inspiration came from, but it just hit me all of the sudden and I literally sat down and wrote this entire thing in one go. Victoire is a character that I haven't explored very much, and I've been wanting to write her, so this was a fun opportunity to do so! I know she's going to make an appearance in ASOS at some point when Darcy meets her, but I wanted to get more in depth with her character first. The style was also really new for me, but something that I really enjoyed playing with. I love exploring metaphors and imagery, so I did a lot of that here, too. I hadn't thought about writing more one-shots like this one, but now that you've given me the idea I'll definitely think about it! Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #19, by Gabriella HunterThe Brothers Three: Introduction

9th June 2014:
Hello!

Hey, its Gabbie here for our swap and I'm sorry that it took a minute! Anyway, to begin with I absolutely LOVED what you did at the very beginning, describing all of the sins with such detail, it really made me feel as if I was reading something very ominous but also beautiful. I loved everything you wrote and found it sort of eerie how each sin had a distinct personality, almost as if they were living and breathing things. I'm really curious to see how you work them in later on, I hope you don't wait too long to bring them back! Also, Death is a woman? How awesome is that! Somehow, a female Death is far scarier than a male.

Anyhoo! The brothers! There's practically no information on their personal lives but you've weaved in some great back stories and dynamics here and I really thought it was very imaginative. Each brother is different, holding onto their own baggage and nightmares and I found it to be a very good read, I can't even think of what might happen in the next chapter.
Ignotus stood out a bit more to me than the others, he has a sort of silent presence that makes him feel much stronger and I wonder what you'll do with his character in the next chapters.

Antioch was not my favorite but even for a swine, there are troubling things in his mind that were delicious. A lot of people don't like writing nastier characters but you didn't shy away from it and that's not easy to do. :D

Then again, I tend to make a lot of nasty characters so perhaps we are kindred spirits...

*Ahem*

Cadmus was a sad soul but I found his heartache to be relatable and was able to feel the depth of his sadness so bravo! :D

I really enjoyed this and thanks for the swap!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: I loved swapping wiht you! This is such a wonderful review, I really appreciate it.

I decided my project for this piece is going to be personification, so the fact you felt as though each sin had it's own personality is just perfect! I'm doing my happy dance :little jig: I looked up several mythos about Death, and the various personifications thereof. I was intrigued that several of them depicted Death as a female, though she normally had grim-reaper-esque helpers as well. I threw in the Four Horseman for my own amusement as the seven deadly sins is taken from the Christian tradition. -just realized that may have been more than you cared to know. Sorry, I just got excited while researching this-

I love each of them in their own way. Antioch, bless his soul, just never figured out what else to do, Cadmus is just... ugh, I don't even want to imagine what it's like to be him. And then Ignotus. He's definitely the most reserved personality of the brothers, and I'm eager to see what people think of him over time. +]

Thank you so much for this review! Until next time


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Review #20, by Gabriella HunterTrue Romance: New Slang

9th June 2014:
HELLO!

Its Gabbie, dropping by for this lovely swap and thanks for the great read, by the way. I don't really read too much Slash but this was actually very nice, I really loved that you didn't focus so much on the fact that Albus was gay, it made the story go by much smoother and didn't have the usual angst that would drown a story like this. I also loved his relationship with James and his family, they seemed to have accepted him for who he is, rather than what and that's always nice to see. Albus seems like he isn't sure about what he wants in his life, especially when it comes to dating and I'm hoping that he's not going to let it stop him from finding a healthy relationship. I never imagined him like this, I never thought he would allow himself to be jealous of Scorpius's new found love! I can't wait to see what develops between the two later on down the line and what problems they may face. :D

All in all, a good read! Thanks for being awesome!

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!!

I love it when people try out slash on one of my stories. For some reason I really got into writing it last winter and have done quite a few slash stories since then. This story will probably make sense after reading its prequel (Pure Intentions) just because it sets the stage for why Albus is so adrift with his love life. Albus does have quite a strong relatioship with his family. They've always loved him and weren't terribly shocked/surprised when he came home with a bf. His jealously for Scorpius is a bit rooted in their previous relationship. It does develop into something interesting later on (if you like love triangles and hte such).

Thank you so much for a fab review!!

-Rose


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Review #21, by Gabriella HunterA Spoonful of Sugar: Thirteen

31st May 2014:
HELLO!

Hey, there! I'm SO sorry that I haven't been able to send you a review sooner but my laptop has died AGAIN and I haven't been able to get a decent signal or anything lately. *Sigh* Anyway, I'm glad to be back here and reading up on this, I'm really happy that you decided to take this a little further and I'm just loving Darcy's struggle with her feelings for Louis. I feel like she's so confused and a little scared to like him as much as she does that by the end, I couldn't believe that she actually decided to stay with him! Lucy is a hilarious addition to this chapter as well, she probably felt that her friend was in love way in the beginning. I wonder how she'll use that against her later? Will there be teasing? I can't wait! :D
This chapter was really short though, why on earth do you do this to me?! I can't believe that you didn't make this at least fifty pages. That isn't fair you know.
Ahem.
Louis is still his charming, hilarious self, I really love his one-liners. There's something so sweet and slightly arrogant about his assumptions of Darcy and I can't wait to see how his own feelings come into play later. And oh, Lord, Hugo probably told everyone that they were dating! What are they going to do now?! HAHA.
I can't wait for the next chapter. Update soonish?

P.S.: "Abandon" has a fresh chapter featuring our most hated person, Teddy Lupin and there's always Audrey and oh, wait! "At Midnight" has another chapter that I think you'll LOVE.

Until then!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I knew you'd have fun reading this chapter! I was thinking about you as I wrote it. Haha.
Darcy's relationship with Louis has confused her since they were thirteen, so she's definitely not making sense of it now! But I didn't want her to be unbearably stubborn, so I decided it was time that she took some of Lucy's advice and just listened to those feelings she's been trying to ignore. Even if she's not sure how serious she wants things to get with Louis, she doesn't hate him like she's been insisting she does. It scares her that she's not in total control of how she feels, but I think it will be good for her to come to terms with that.
Louis knows just what to say to get under Darcy's skin, even when his teasing is meant to be good natured. That definitely won't stop even though she didn't end their relationship! Haha. Hopefully I'll get some time and inspiration to update this soon! I'll keep you in the loop over on the forums! Thank you for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #22, by Gabriella HunterThe Writing on the Wall.: A Magical Education

5th April 2014:
HELLO!

BOOM! I'm here in your face for a review-swap (Thanks for leaving one on The Dark Lord's Prince for me, much appreciated, lovely) and I remember that I had been reading this story quite a long time ago but hadn't finished. I can't recall where I left off but I was pretty far along but didn't bless you with my silly reviews.

ANYHOO! So, I really love the little conflicted moments that you had Albus and his friends going through as they tried to get the hang of their first full day of school. There are so many interesting things that you've done here, with giving little hints of what's changed in the wizarding world and how their life with their family is after the War. The mention of Fred made me so sad...D':
Anyway, I think you've gone into some great detail and really thought of what you were going to be writing before you typed this out. I can t really see how much you cared about the world that the children were living in and how things were still, even after twenty years were still trying to set themselve's right.
Also, I love your kids! They seem like real children around that age, I particularly can't wait to see how Albus, Derek and Rose's relationships blossom in the future.
Your classroom scenes were great too, I never spend much time with them myself but I think you did a very nice job here. I liked the teachers you introduced as well, I can't wait to see more of them in the future! :D
This was a great read, I enjoy reading other Next Gen stories, its always so nice to see how different everyone's writing styles are when it comes to the grandchildren.
Thanks for the read! :D
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: *grins* Thanks for the review. I saw your request for a swap and was like, "hey, I never finished reading her story, so this is a good incentive to read on a little."

I'm glad you think the kids are convincing for their ages. I think 10-13 year olds are hard to write, because they aren't really little kids, but nor are they really teenagers and it's hard to avoid either making them too childish or else too mature.

Yeah, I'm trying to show that while things have improved, there are still problems. Some of the issues in the wizarding world seem to go back 1000 years, so they're not going to change in a generation, you know.

I enjoy writing the classroom scenes and one of my teachers in particular is going to become a significant character not just in this story, but throughout however much I write of the series. I've a subplot planned for them for Year Six, despite the fact, I have absolutely no main plot for Year Six.

And yeah, I like seeing the different ways in which people portray the characters and the future of the wizarding world. It's what I like about next gen. There are so many different ways you can go.


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Review #23, by Gabriella HunterPurple Houses: One

27th March 2014:
Hello!

Hey, there! I haven't forgotten about you or anything! So I was really happy while I was reading this one shot, mostly because Ms. T isn't the sort of character that's written about often and her background hasn't really been explored like this. I thought that what you did for her here was very well-done, I had never given her life much thought before this.
The subtle rifts in her relationship that she has with her parents was very smooth. I was able to get a sense that things weren't perfect between them all but it wasn't too heavy or dark to distract from the rest of the story.
Her relationship with her Nanny and the purple houses were so sweet, I could feel a lot of love coming from her on those flashbacks and how dear they had been to her. I thought that bringing up the purple houses and also shifting into what became a passion for Divination was very good! You could see that she was getting a bit older and her enthusiasm to prove herself was infectious, the little details you were able to bring in from the books was great as well. The only sad part was that her Nanny passed away but even with that sad knowledge, she was able to still think of her fondly. What struck out to me was that at the end, after the Battle was over, Sybil went back to her roots and discovered the purple houses again. It made me think that even after sadness, there can be happiness and I think you wrote that wonderfully.
So! This was a great one-shot, I'm glad that I finally had time to leave a review for you, I'd ready it but my internet connection was being very mean and died right when I was about to leave a review for you. How cruel...
Hahaha.
Much love,
Gabbie

P.S.: Expect "Abandon" in a few days and after that we're going back to Audrey (There are two new chapters up if you're still interested in that) and of course, there's Albus. I'll be getting back to A Force of Blaise and Transparent soon too. Hope to hear from you soon!

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond to this! Life has been a bit hectic, lately.
As you already know, I love writing minor characters, and Sybill was really fun for me to explore because she has almost no known backstory. I wanted to show a transition from Sybill as an innocent child to the kind of crazy teacher we know her to be thanks to JKR, but (because the moment in Deathly Hallows when she helps fight in the war stuck in my head) wanted to make sure I kept writing and figured out where she ended up after the war and everything happened.
Her relationship with Nanny is one of the driving forces behind that. She's the one who really raised Sybill, and encouraged her passions, which is why her death leads to the drinking and real obsession with Divination that JKR wrote for her.
I'm so thrilled you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for the sweet review, too :) I always look forward to hearing from you!
Cassie :)


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Review #24, by Gabriella HunterHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

7th February 2014:
Hello!

Hey there, its Gabbie from the forums with this awesome review swap! So, I was immediately drawn in to your writing style, I've never really read many stories that take such an interesting narration before and I really enjoyed it. The beginning left me really curious on what was happening and the fact that you opened this on such a dark note was really bold and very nicely done, it made the rest of the chapter flow so nicely as I tried to piece together what had happened and why there was so much tension. I think you have a great way of describing your characters, their actions and the subtle hints of hatred that are thrown around. I haven't read many stories that feature the Black family in this way but I really love this, I can picture them all, in varying degrees.
There were so many characters and relationships but I was able to follow them very well and I really enjoyed the tension and dislike that some of them have for each other.
I can't help but be a bit wary at that ending though...A murder is one thing but changing the will and keeping vital things from the family is another and you've got my curiosity going now! I really can't help but wonder who plotted the murder and how things will go on, now that there are so many secrets over their heads.
Loved the little mention of Andromeda too, I think that I was able to have some empathy for her family. They would see what she did as a betrayal and nothing more but I can't help but wonder what might tear them apart again!
Sirius was so silently powerful too, by the way. I really liked that you didn't have him speaking or acting so revolted by the others, his silence said it all and made him all that more interesting.
Thanks for the read!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for dropping by, and thanks for the review swap! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! I'm so glad you like the beginning, since I rewrote it a couple of times because I wasn't happy with it before settling on this one.

I'm so happy you like the characters, as well! They're such an interesting bunch of people to explore - since we know very little about them other than generalisations and little bits here and there on some of them, it makes it so much fun and leaves so much room to add things in and expand on it. There's definitely quite a lot of them, though! One of the hardest things about this, but thankfully since it's a murder mystery, that number goes down a bit :P

I'm happy you like it - I wasn't sure about including it since it's a little dry, I think, compared to some of the other stuff in it, but it is pretty important part of the story. And yeah, haha, murder v fraud - always a tough call! ;)

I know! I've always thought it must have been such a hard thing to deal with, you know, since they're losing one of their own, and for reasons they just don't understand. Which is tough, tbh. I'm glad you liked it! :)

Sirius was so much fun to write - there'll be a lot more of him in the future ;)

Thank you so much for the lovely review and the review swap - both were really great to do and receive! :)

Aph xx


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Review #25, by Gabriella HunterWilted Flower: The Funeral: Part 2

25th December 2013:
Hello!

Its been ages since my last review and I'm so sorry, lovely but real life really bites! I had wanted to come back to this immediately but things got in the way but coming back to is such a lovely boost to my day.
I had forgotten why I'd always loved this take on Pansy and it was great getting back into her head and your wonderful writing.
So the beginning of this is with Draco and Pansy and while it was a bit awkward I was really starting to feel sorry for her. I knew that she had always had a crush on him and though things were obviously not what she had thought, it was so blatantly clear here. Draco came off as very cold and a little snobbish here and I could understand why Pansy had gotten a bit offended, though her own comments were just as cruel.
I thought it was a good balance but I felt a spark of indignation at Draco's comment towards the end and I really just want Pansy to be happy now and forget about that prat. :P
But anyway, the conversation with her reflection and the outburst was just so powerful. It really showed how lonely she was and I'm worried that she might not really show her feelings without hurting herself. There's no one there for her and that was just so bold to write, I can't help but picture her standing there, talking to herself without anyone to lean on.
Man, its depressing but beautiful writing. I mean, its just so compelling!
And that ending! I can't believe that she's willing to toss aside all of her family's traditions just to fit in with the new "rules" of the Wizarding world. That was a startling moment for me to read in her and I wonder how its going to work out...gah, I must read on! I must! >_<
Thanks for the lovely read too, sorry that its been so long!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Gah- I definitely understand! I'm so sorry for not responding earlier- I can assure you that I definitely appreciate the time you took to read and review! This is quite a lovely review!

I'm glad that you still like this take on Pansy. Yeah, poor Pansy. Her conversation with Draco was anything but nice.

It's interesting writing a character that has no one to rely on. She doesn't really interact with anyone, and it really changes the dynamics of the story. Of course, now she's planning on changing that...

You'll see how it works out... I hope that you find it interesting!

Thank you so much for the lovely review and I do hope that you continue to read on! :)


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