Reading Reviews From Member: 800 words of heaven
  
443 Reviews Found

Review #1, by 800 words of heavenMisery: After detention

18th April 2016:
REVIEW SWAP.

There were SO MANY good stories on your AP from which to choose, but I can't resist me some Neville/Hannah!

Oh no! Everything is so dark and horrible at Hogwarts! I must admit to preferring my Neville/Hannah a whole lot fluffier - and happier - but in this case, it worked so well. You wrote Neville so beautifully! I just loved how dark he came across, really showing the effect holding the fort has had on him. His self-loathing is just so strong and it hurt my heart to read about it, but the characterisation was just beautiful.

And Hannah! Go figure she's the de facto first aid person of the renegades. It's very fitting since she goes on to become the Matron at Hogwarts years later! I really liked how you wrote her so freaked out when Neville first comes in. It made so much sense and gave that scene a lot of urgency. I really enjoyed it.

And, ah. Thank kiss! OMG that kiss! Yay for kisses! And yay for hope!

Thanks for the wonderful swap! *hugs*

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Review #2, by 800 words of heavenThe Gifts: Neville: The Three Broomsticks

18th April 2016:
Heya! I am finally, FINALLY here to review your lovely Hanville story. Yay for Hanville!

Ah! This is just sooo cute! I am enamoured with their love story. Neville is very true to what we know of him from canon. He's still nervous and a little shy, but still quite the Gryffindor, deciding to approach Hannah about his feelings that way - and all of a sudden, too!

And Hannah! I would have liked a little bit more about her, but I understand that's a little difficult to achieve when writing in first person. But what we do get is just wonderful! She seems so capable - and that's just such a perfect match for Neville.

And OMG look at Madam Rosmerta playing matchmaker from beyond the grave! It's a little sad that she has passed away, but go figure she works out what's going on between the two of them before they ever do. What a sharp woman!

This is just such a lovely piece! Awesome stuff :)

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Review #3, by 800 words of heavenQueen of Quills: Memory Lane

18th April 2016:
SLYTHERIN REVIEW TAG.

I really liked this story! This was a deviation from your usual style and choice of mood and tone, but it's still fantastic. I love visiting your author's page because I'm always going to find something new that will challenge the way I look at a character. This piece was no exception.

I am just in awe of how you wrote so empathetically about a character that you dislike. To me, it seemed that you used that dislike to feed Rita's own self-loathing. Whilst I am of the opinion that Rita would have been unrepentant until the very end, I liked your take on things. I think Rita mentions it herself, but she has rarely thought about her actions and their consequences. It is interesting to note that now, as a doddering old woman, she is finally doing so.

I love the little touch of gallows humour at the end, there. Rita Skeeter: Queen of Quills or Rejected Outcast? is a book I'd definitely want to read. I can just imagine her penning it as she's dying, her way of leaving one final mark on the world. It would be a particularly "Rita Skeeter" way to go!

This was a lovely read, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself! Until next time :)

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Review #4, by 800 words of heavenThe Ultimate Betrayal: The Ultimate Encounter

18th April 2016:
SLYTHERIN REVIEW TAG.

Ooh. I am excited about this Percy Weasley AU! He's such an interesting character who's rarely written about, so I'm excited to see where you take him and this story. Is he going to become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix? In the first few paragraphs I've read so far, I think this is unlikely, so I'm guessing he's going to become a Death Eater. Death Eater Percy Weasley is a character I can get behind!

I like how you've really emphasised just how loyal Percy is. For me, that's his defining Gryffindor trait, and I'm glad to see it playing such a strong role so far in the story, even if it is for someone whom I don't particularly like.

Describing Percy's ego as "delicate" is just so perfect. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Another defining Gryffindor trait, I think.

Yesss! I called it! DEATH EATER PERCY WEASLEY YAAASSS!

And omg he's already meeting Voldemort? Well, wasn't that fast?

This is an incredibly intriguing first chapter with an even more intriguing premise. Well done!

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Review #5, by 800 words of heavenRise of the Phoenix: The Gathering Storm

17th April 2016:
Heya! I'm here for our review swap!

Oh em gee, why didn't I find this story earlier? I'm only a few paragraphs and I'm already in love. I love love LOVE your descriptions! I am actually ridiculously envious of them, because they are just so cool and amazing. One that especially stands out so far is that of Aurora's scar. Amazing. It was like you were describing a river or canyon. Too cool.

a hangover effect of being born in a country that wonderfully mixed emotional restraint with self-loathing. There's just something so British about this line, as well as a little bit sad.

Or, I dont know, dabbling in black market floo powder. I hope Theo remains his wonderful self throughout the story. I hope he is in the rest of the story. He's a treasure so far.

OMG of course Dr Theodore Morgan has a white twirling moustache. I wouldn't expect any less.

I'm sort of sad that we won't be seeing the Far East in this story. Maybe in Aurora's recollections however? I'd love to read about the way magic would work there.

a make-believe swashbuckling pirate playing in caves This sounds like an amazing job description, just saying.

a mass grave of insects on the window sill, party amongst stubbed cigarettes and balls of used chewing gum. Eww, gross.

I am unsure if Theo is actually just an oblivious old dude, or a little but cagey. The mood of this story - especially Aurora's tenseness - has me jumping at shadows.

WILL THEY REALLY BE OKAY!??!? I DON'T THINK SO.

Thanks for the swap! I'll be back soon for the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Hey there,

The enthusiasm of your review was awesome to see.

It took me a while, RL kicked me in the butt recently, but I just posted a review. I hope to come back with another over the next few days.

Cheers for the swap :)

Nick


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Review #6, by 800 words of heavenBroken : Why Did You Break A Perfectly Good Heart?

10th April 2016:
REVIEW TAG.

I visit your author page so infrequently, so I am always so pleasantly surprised when I see that I have so many wonderful new stories to choose from!

I think I say this every time I write a review for you, but I am just SO IMPRESSED by how much your writing has improved over the years I've been reading it. You were always fantastic, but with every new thing I read, you become EVEN MORE FANTASTIC. HOW DO YOU DO THIS? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

This was just so creepy to read. Draco was a horrible horrible person. It's been a while since I read an evil Draco story, and I love the way you turned the usual Dramione love story on its head. I'm not much for the ship, so this was so realistic for me. I felt so sad and sorry for Hermione, and her pain felt so so real. Love can be a terrible, terrible curse sometimes. It was so nice to see that she was still loyal to Harry though. She knows she's going to die soon, but still she keeps his secrets. Go Hermione! More power to you!

This was just a wonderful read, and good luck with the challenge :)

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Review #7, by 800 words of heavenHat's Dilemma: Hat's Dilemma

21st March 2016:
Heya! I'm finally FINALLY dropping in for our review swap! I'm sorry for the delay.

So first off, I must get this off my chest. I. LOVE. THIS. STORY. OMG IT IS SO SO GOOD.

Please please write more about sorting ceremonies because you have such a knack for them. I'm enamoured with the way you write the Sorting Hat. You've completely captured the snooty, snarky, holier-than-thou, I-know-all-which-is-definitely-more-than-you voice that I sometimes love, and I sometimes hate. If possible, can you just write a story of the Sorting Hat talking to different people and making people question their sanity? Because that would be AWESOME.

Coming to the actual people, I absolutely loved each of their voices. You really balanced being eleven, and still showing the characters we know them to be later on in their stories. I think Minerva's section was my favourite, but your attention to detail and turns of phrases were just perfect all around.

Basically, I love this story. That is all.

(Also thanks for the swap!)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the swap! I really enjoyed your story as well :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed this little tale. It didn't really fit into any era or genre, and just seemed to hang in there...

I'm so glad you liked my Sorting Hat voice - I was quite worried about that to be honest because I wanted to convey exactly what you've mentioned and kept editing and re-editing it!

OMG That's a wonderful idea! I can totally imagine the Sorting Hat just completely messing with people's heads! Now I HAVE to write a sequel :D

I'm glad you liked the characters as well. Minerva was my favorite to write, she just basically wrote herself...

Thank you so much for your lovely review and the swap :)

~Ysh


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Review #8, by 800 words of heavenIn between: The Sorting

12th March 2016:
Heya! I'm here for our review swap! I'm a sucker for a Marauders' era story, so I couldn't resist this one, especially when I saw that the first chapter was written not from a Marauders or Lily's point of view, but Emmaline's. I was intrigued to see things from a minor character's eyes for a change.

I really liked this first chapter! You've introduced the four protagonists, and I assume that the points of view will be rotating between these four? It will be especially exciting to read the different perspectives not only because they're different characters, but also because they're in different Houses. How will their friendships change, and what sort of tensions will arise? We already know what happens between Lily and Snape, but with Eddie and Emmaline in the mix, I'm interested to see what kind of spin you put on it.

I do have one question about the point of view. Is this Emmaline recounting her story from a point in time when she's much older, or is she telling the story as it happens to her (but just in past tense)? There were parts that read like one or the other, so that confused me a little, but other than that, this was very enjoyable!

This is such a lovely start, and I'm curious to see whose point of view we will be seeing next! Thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: Hey! Hello, dear!
First of all, thank you for the swap! It's always a pleasure! :D

I do love Marauder Era stories (well... I suppose it's quite clear from my penname and the stories on my AP... :P) I'm glad you found Em's POV refreshing! :D

Yes, my idea is to rotate between the four. I'm planning on writing from Severus' perspective in the next chapter, but I still have to start working on it... I'm still not sure how their friendship will develop through the years and how being in different houses will change their relationship. And I can't wait to find out!

You know, you are totally right about this... The fact is, I'm not sure myself... On one hand, I think the story would work better from a retrospect perspective, on the other I like it to be a as-it-happens thing, because it would emphasize emotions more. I think I tend a lot to mix the two (one of the reasons I tend to avoid first person perspectives) but I never realized until you mentioned it now, so thank you for pointing out the issue. I'll edit the chapter and try to adapt it to a retrospect perspective.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this start and that I made you curious for what's next!
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #9, by 800 words of heavenWrackspurts and Regrets: Wrackspurts and Regrets

2nd March 2016:
Heya! I'm 800 from Slytherin House over on the forums, and I'm here to paint the archives Green with Envy, representing Team Ouroboros! I noticed that you've just recently joined the archives, so welcome! Also if you haven't checked out the forums yet, please don't be shy about doing so! We're a lovely bunch of people and we're always terribly excited about new members! If you like it over there, maybe I'll even see you in the Pit (that's where us Slytherins hang out) sometime soon!

Now, onto the review!

I'm in two minds about Ron's fury. There's a part of me that agrees - crushes are dumb. But there's another part of me that's raising its eyebrows at Ron because I'm pretty sure he himself had a teeny tiny crush on Krum during fourth year - can't blame him, really. Victor Krum is very crush-worthy.

That first line of dialogue that Luna utters has basically captured the essence of Luna in a few clauses.

Aww! Poor Ron! He's struggling with his own crush! He's not taking being friend-zoned very well, is he? But alas, the heart wants what it wants, and Hermione's wants Victor's.

Woah! I was not expecting Ron to just kiss Luna! Literally everyone was surprised by this turn of events: Ron, Luna, me. I would've liked to see a little more build-up in Ron's feelings towards Luna before the kiss. Compared to the entire rant he has about Hermione, only a few lines were dedicated to him even noticing Luna at all. I feel that a little more balance between these conflicting desires would've made the kiss more believable, and less out of nowhere.

I am very glad to see that Luna, however, just took it in her stride in her own Luna way, and has already moved onto to bigger and better things - like catching Wrackspurts!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I was pleased to read it.

I agree about the build up to the kiss - I feel I could have elaborated on it a lot more. I tried to but then nothing sounded right so I just left it in the end. It's my first ever peice of fan fiction (actually my first ever short story) so it was more like practice hehe. I'm going to keep it the same so I can look back and learn from it :)

I haven't ventured over to the forums yet but they are intriguing. I'm glad everyone is friendly - I'll have to have a look-see soon. I have only very recently discovered the world of HPFF, can't believe I wasted years of my life not knowing about it!

Thanks again for the review!

Violette S.


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Review #10, by 800 words of heavenThe Hogwarts Times: The Hogwarts Times

2nd March 2016:
Hey Lee! I'm 800 from Slytherin House (from the forums), here to leave a review for Team Ouroboros! Slytherins this month are painting the archives and forums green with envy! The description for this story looked intriguing (ALSO SLYTHERIN REPRESENT WOOHOO) so I thought I'd give it a read :)

OMG I AM SO GLAD I READ THIS. I am completely and utterly in love with the concept of this story! IT'S AN EVIL VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY THIS IS THE BEST. I was unsure at the beginning as to what the time period was, but then you mentioned Rita Skeeter, and I was like OMGOMGOMG. I really love this idea that Rita came by -ahem- journalism because she and her two friends were just bored one day in the Slytherin Common Room. And then they decided to turn their love for gossip into profit - how very Slytherin of them *smirks*

AND THEN DORY TURNS OUT TO BE DOLORES UMBRIDGE. Can things get any worse for the student population/better for me? Probably not. I imagine these three to be like the Mean Girls of Hogwarts at the time - except they write a paper. This story is even more perfect, since our very own inaugural forum newsletter has just been published!

And that ending! OMG. Umbridge is so devious! I just imagined her doing that smirk emoji the entire time she was penning the letter to Rita. I'm actually really curious to learn about what happened to Marigold and how she ended up married to a Muggle-born - there's a story in there, I'm sure!

As you can tell, I really enjoyed this little one-shot. Fantastic work!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it so much! I wasn't sure about writing about Umbridge but it ended up working pretty well.

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Review #11, by 800 words of heavenHackneyed on the rocks: Teaching Assistant

2nd March 2016:
Hello! I'm back again for chapter two, still reviewing for Slytherin House (from the forums), still repping my lovely Team Ouroboros!

I am a bit confused as to when this takes place. Is this after Sirius has escaped from Azkaban, and his name is cleared in the third book, or is this sometime after the fifth book, where I presume after he lives, he has his name cleared. Or has he never been to Azkaban at all?

Also, I giggle out loud at the name Mrs Goodenough. That's a fantastic name.

I am wondering why Sadie would choose to set her cousin up with one of her ex-boyfriends. Is this something that Sadie does often? Or is this some strange idea of a joke to her? I only think the last thing because Charlie mentions that Sadie and her friends were not the nicest people in school. She may have changed now, but HAS SHE REALLY? Plot twist!

And ooh! That ending has me intrigued! Sirius doesn't seem to remember Charlie in her seventh year, but I'm keen to learn about what exactly happened.

Until next time, toodles!

Favourite line:

I speak from very credible experience of having looked into them seven times.
- And once again, the accidental hilarity of Charlie's monologue strikes!

Author's Response: This is set in an alternate reality, details of which I shall not divulge. :P

Sadie and Charlie, hmm. They may have overcome their teenage difference, or maybe not. Only time will tell. ;)

Goodenough, haha! Actually, I saw it on my facebook newsfeed this morning when I was finetuning this chapter. Should add credits to that probably. @_@

Thanks so much! :)


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Review #12, by 800 words of heavenHackneyed on the rocks: Of course

2nd March 2016:
Heya! I'm 800 words of heaven from over on the forums, and I'm here to leave a review as part of a Slytherin House event, Operation Green with Envy! (Team Ouroborous represent!) This story caught my eye because Sirius is love. And Sirius alive is even more love.

I really liked the way you began this story. The description was nice, and set the tone of the story. Your use of the first person helps me to better understand Charlie, and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better as a character. And I totally expected the "sharp man" to be some sleazy dude, but no! It's Sirius! I wasn't expecting him to appear so quickly but now that he has, I'm excited for the next chapter.

Favourite line:

I let out an internal sigh while balancing a civilised smile on my face.
- I just really love the way this sentence is structured. Reminded me a little of a balanced scale itself.

Author's Response: Hey 800 words of heaven, those are 164 really kind words. :)

Yeah, I wanted to introduce him as quickly as possible so that I could develop more on the present instead of the Marauder's era. I hope that wasn't a bad move.

Oh my God, that's exactly how I wanted that line to come across. Thank you!! :D

Please keep reading and reviewing.

:)


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Review #13, by 800 words of heavenEvolution: Sharpened

7th February 2016:
Heya! I always say that I'll be back soon, but then I disappear for months on end. But this story is just so wonderful that it keeps bringing me back!

I really admire the way you characterise minor canon characters. Slughorn reads very true to what we know of him from the books, including his relationship with Lily. So wonderful.

I really enjoy the brief glimpses we get of Sirius and Lily together. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but because Sirius and Lily are so close in canon, I'm super excited to see their relationship develop in that direction over the (hopefully still significant number of) remaining chapters of Evolution.

Sirius and James' conversation was interesting. I liked the way you mixed politics and James' possible love life so seamlessly. The dialogue flowed very naturally. I was worried for a moment that Sirius would forget to address the "James and Lily" situation, but you brought it all back full circle very nicely indeed. It was also nice to see another side of Sirius; someone who cares for his friend, and wants to fight in the war, and thinks astutely about the opinions of the student body. It was a very subtle form of character development, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the sort in the future - for all the characters, and not just Sirius.

This was a wonderful chapter, as always. And, as always, I'll see you again in the grey box at the end of the next one :)

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you came back! Your feedback is always so great.

As far as length, yes, there will DEFINITELY be a substantial number of remaining chapters. I've obviously posted a few since this one, but I'm imagining as of now that it probably won't be done until the 75+ chapter range.

I'm glad you actually enjoyed the James-Sirius conversation. I definitely wanted to use it partly to continue to address the politics in play (not just with the war, but even with his friendship with Sirius who, though he gets closer to Lily later (and has started a wee bit), is not exactly fired up about the idea of James and Lily being together for a variety of reasons - some genuine, some selfish. But I had hoped that it would also show, as you picked up, that however he may behave publicly, Sirius is, even pre-Order and pre-Azkaban, much more thoughtful and determined than people tend to give him credit for. He's still flawed certainly as we know, but yes, he can be quite...serious...too :p

Thanks for R&R-ing!


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Review #14, by 800 words of heavenEvolution: Open Season

26th December 2015:
Hello! It's been a ridiculously long time since I read Evolution but since I started reading it during the holiday season, I thought it would be an apt time to return.

Ah! I've missed Marlene and Alana! It was really nice to see them talking about something other than boys. Lily came off a bit like a robot with no feelings, but clearly her friends know she loves them and will miss them the next year. And the end scene with Sirius and the Quidditch magazine made me chuckle.

There's some really wonderful moments in the first couple of scenes with James. Your love and understanding of the machinations of sports is very apparent in the first few lines, and Peter is an actual gem when he's dissing Sirius for being the "vice-captain" - words I thought I'd never use to describe Peter Pettigrew.

I'm really pleased with the way Lily's behaving when she and James are on patrol. She's very understanding but still firm when she's talking with the Hufflepuff first years. It seems a lot closer to the image I have of Lily in my head, where she's more mature and balanced than she is at this point. It's lovely to see her move in that direction.

James finally speaking about what's bothering him is also some unexpected character development. For all that I think of him further along his arc than Lily, this scene highlighted that he's never actually been very open with his feelings to other people - at least not verbally. I'm hoping this forms part of the basis of their friendship.

This was a really wonderful chapter! I'll see you at the end of the next one :)

Author's Response: Howdy! Thanks so much for returning and the detailed review!

Yes...hopefully once I actually finish (which I had been hoping to do by the end of the year, though that's obviously not happening now) I can do the re-writes to make more serious conversations the norm and flesh them out a little more.

Though here Lily was obviously a bit distracted and subsequently irritated, I would say she definitely gets into this mood when she's ruffled or is trying to avoid something - particularly admitting something. Almost a defense mechanism for her as if - "if I act like I just don't care about this/you, it/you will go away." :p You'll get to see it make a return in the latest chapter before it gives way toward the end if you keep reading ;)
And yes, another subject of the edits will be showcasing more of this Lily earlier on, because though I do think she's quite strict prior to her exposure to James as a rule, her kindness needs to show through more than it does at present.

Indeed, this is sort of the final, pre-relationship step in James's maturation - being willing to open up. As you've probably seen, Lily's not the best at it either (no coincidence), but as they spend more and more time together, both of them start to come around more (hmm...).

And I'm glad you didn't miss Peter getting one in on Sirius! So many people have Peter as Sirius's constant whipping post (in terms of jokes) and while I think there's definitely truth in that, I also think Peter got his jabs in on occasion or Sirius wouldn't respect him as a friend.

Thanks for the detailed feedback and the kind words!


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Review #15, by 800 words of heavenDamage Control: The Devil is in the Detail

26th December 2015:
REVIEW TAG!

I read the first chapter a while back, AND I HAVE RETURNED. I really liked this second chapter! Poor Hero!

I'm really enjoying Hero so far. It's apparent that she's very hardworking and well-read and wants to go to high places. She's shrewd and sharp because her job needs that of her, but she's not quite... cutthroat. At least not in the way Lily is!

Lily's turning out to be quite the "villain"! I'm very very intrigued to see where she goes and how she develops and gets more depth as a character.

Your writing is great. I like the descriptions, and dialogue is my jam, so this dialogue-heavy chapter was perfect. I also loved getting the worldbuilding for the department, as well as Hero.

Hoping for some Potter boys shenanigans in chapter three! Great stuff :)

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Review #16, by 800 words of heavenDamage Control: Choices, choices

27th September 2015:
Heya! Here for our review swap!

Ahahaha, I'm so glad that I picked this story to read (I was eyeing the Percy one, which I may give a whirl anyway)! So much fun! I think I was grinning from like the third line in, and I didn't stop until the last word of the chapter. I can't wait for the appearance of the Machiavellian Lily Potter, as promised in the summary. Hero seems to have her suspicions already, but yay for unpleasant surprises!

Oh, goodness. I loved loved loved the way you've shown the Wotters. They're nuts. It's great. I'm hoping they all make at least one appearance in this story at some point. They all sound crazy in their own way and I think it'll throw Hero into a spin - or not. She seems to be able to hold her own in this business. (My fave so far is Albus. Really want to see him being a brash activist.)

And that brings me to Hero. This was such a lovely introduction to her character that's left me wanting to learn more. She's so sarcastic and snarky! I'm really pumped for more of her particular brand!

This was such a fantastic start, and thanks for the lovely read :)

Author's Response: Hiya! (my first review swap so yay! I should do this more often)

I was hoping you'd choose one of them hehehe. So happy you thought so! This is my experimentation with dark, dry, wry comedy so it's great that it made you smile. You won't have to wait long for Lily Luna *cough*nextchapter*cough*.

Ah, that was so much fun, designing that crazy family tree full of nuts. I just wanted to turn them all upside down inside out. That's a tall order but I'll see what I can do about them making an appearance in some way shape or form.

Woohoo for Hero! She's a no-nonsense firecracker that might not come off too well so I'm glad you are already attracted to her brand.

Thank you for this lovely review! :D
~Misty


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Review #17, by 800 words of heaven'Dromeda: 'Dromeda

27th September 2015:
Heya! Here for our review swap :D

I've been on a recent Andromeda/Ted kick, so this caught my eye instantly, although I was very tempted by your Regulus/Mary one-shot too because REGULUS. It is difficult to resist a Black brother :P

I really liked the way you focused so much of the story on Andromeda's feelings about her family. She doesn't fit in, but doesn't go the typical teenage angst route (*cough*Sirius*cough*) but just accepts it and rides it out. Her love for them is clear, even though she knows that they know that she doesn't fit in. I think it shows a real maturity to her character, which was really nice to see.

Does Andromeda have any friends at all? She seems to spend most of her time with her sisters and their friends, and the rest she's like this super quiet person who studies all the time. What does she do for fun? Is she a knitter? Embroidery? Painting? Ceramics? (CERAMICS!) You mentioned that you're planning to continue this story (yay!) so I'd love to see more of Andromeda in her down time.

Haha, I really liked Ted! He's very much like his daughter (I can see where she gets it from). He's just like this chill guy who is very smug about making a pretty girl smile. Too cute! I'm excited to see their relationship grow! I think it'd be cool to see something written from his point of view, actually...

Overall, this was just a very enjoyable one-shot and I'm excited to see where this may lead in the future. Thanks for the lovely read :)

Author's Response: Hey! :D

Andromeda and Ted are my babies, I love them! and it definitely is hard to resist black brother ;)

I'm glad you liked that aspect, I think its so important to include because its a massive thing to leave your family, so I wanted to establish their relationship to emphases how tough it will be for her!

In my eyes she has a very small group of friends which are mainly her sisters and other Slytherins (that have been pre approved by her family). She's a character who is sheltered from the real world, but is also fascinated by it! :)

I'll definitely make sure to include that for you! :)

I LOVE Ted! And yes he is definitely like his daughter! I will be doing some Ted POV so don't worry about that ;)

Thank you for such a lovely review and swap!

Katie :)


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Review #18, by 800 words of heavenRadicalia: Prologue

27th September 2015:
Heya! I was browsing through the archives and this caught my eye, so I thought I'd give it a go.

I really liked this prologue! It read a lot like Rowling's first chapters read from the books, written as they are from another point of view from the main story. I hope we get to see more of Nathaniel as the story moves along. He's just lied to a bunch of Death Eaters but WHY? Also the way they treated Ginny was not cool.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where this story goes. This first chapter has successfully got me intrigued in the rest of the story, which is basically what you'd want from a first chapter. Ginny seems like a total butt-kicking kid here so I'm hoping for plenty of action for her to show off her mad skills.

Thanks for the lovely read :)

Author's Response: !!! YEE! Thank you SO MUCH for reading and reviewing! I had that weird nervous feeling from posting a brand new story and so this means SO MUCH to me :D

You make SUCH a good point about the whole "opening with another POV" thing--that's is a total Rowling move. And I only just realized that I, like, ALWAYS do that :P I'm really glad that device worked here because I wanted the opening to be kind of High Impact, you know?

Man, I'm so excited about Nathanael that I just want to tell you all about him! But I will refrain, and not be spoilery, and just let the story unravel as it ought.

I'm working on the next chapter right now so hopefully I'll have it up soon!

Thanks again SO MUCH for taking the time to check out this story!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #19, by 800 words of heavenBehind Enemy Lines: Save Them

27th September 2015:
OMG you've been writing OF! Yayayay! Don't worry too much about updating schedules for stories. I'm terrible with regular updates, but people will still read. Of course, you'll lose readers, but there's always new readers to be found. I'm really interested to see where this goes, so I'm hoping that there will be quick updates :P

Ah, the reason she caves into the plan was just so bittersweet. It's both selfish and full of love at the same time. She needs those boys to live, but she's also doing it out of a weird sense of love - they're all she has, after all. And it was nice to see Remus being kind to her. I'm sure he understands what it means to be an outcast better than most, so even though Victoria doesn't understand where he's coming from, he gets it.

And yes! Regulus missed her! Finally, a sign of their relationship moving into a new direction. I'm curious to see if he'll pursue the issue later or not, or if he'll just let it slide until something escalates and Victoria is forced into either telling the truth or spinning up a wild tale that'll get her into even more hot water.

These first few chapters have been great! I'm looking forward to coming back soon, hopefully :)

Author's Response: Yes, lots and lots of OF. It was super fun to write this chapter though.

I think Remus is an absolutely gorgeous character. I've always written the lighter side of him, so I'm looking forward to digging a little deeper.

I just adore Regulus. He's my favourite character in the whole series, so definitely expecting a lot more exciting stuff between him and Vic.

I think I'm going to go start chapter five now actually, you've inspired me!

x Ely


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Review #20, by 800 words of heavenBehind Enemy Lines: Stupidity and Judgement

27th September 2015:
WOW PLOT FLIPPING TWIST. I was certainly expecting the same thing that Victoria was expecting - her to turn up in some Death Eater hideout, and Regulus was going to have to torture her or something horrible like that. This is much better though.

I really liked your portrayal of the young Order members, the ones who'd been Victoria's classmates. I think Dumbledore nailed it on the head by saying that she's just very lost but has the bad luck of getting lost when there's a war going on. And everyone is judging her for it. It showed characters that are quite often written as heroes to being fallible and human and prone to the same mistakes as normal people.

(Also Pettigrew was SO SHADY with his one line. OMG WORMTAIL YOU TWO-TIMING RAT.)

AND THEN THERE WAS ANOTHER PLOT TWIST. She has to save her boys! Ah! I'm not very hopeful for her success, but so far, I've been pleasantly wrong about everything in this story, so there is hope!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!

I'm a Slytherin, so I like seeing the darker side of Gryffindors characters who are often written as heroes. Don't get me wrong, I love the Marauders but I like seeing a different side to them.

Pettigrew is the shadiest.

We'll see about that hope ;)

x Ely


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Review #21, by 800 words of heavenBehind Enemy Lines: Diagon Alley

27th September 2015:
Back again!

I'm struck once again by just how mundane Victoria's life is. I can imagine myself so easily in her position, which is a little bit terrifying because it seems like a horrible place to be.

One of the things that stuck out the most to me in this chapter is just how lonely she is. She seems to be with Regulus, even for just a few hours a week, to keep the loneliness at bay. And this seems to be a mutual feeling, here. Maybe it'll develop into something more than that, but I'm kind of enjoying reading them as they are right now. What I'd like to know is why she's this way? Is it because of Danny's death? This is the consequence, a self-imposed exile from her world, along with the escalating tensions of Lord Voldemort. I find it funny that she wants to avoid both sides, but then hangs out with a bunch of Death Eaters every Friday evening anyway - and in Knockturn Alley to boot!

I really loved the way you built the tension in this chapter. First it was just the mention of a man watching her that she didn't notice. Then it moves on to paranoia. And then finally, the realisation that she's in real danger. But by then it's all too late. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST APPARATE AWAY VICTORIA?

Moving on...

Author's Response: It's a terrifying idea right? Being stuck in such a boring life—I'd absolutely hate it.

She is incredibly lonely, but she hasn't really admitted it to herself. She uses Regulus just as much as he uses her, but I'd like to think their both incredibly grateful for one another even if they don't show it (yet).

Yes, Victoria is a little bit of a special character. I think she's just very confused and lonely, and that makes her act a little strangely sometimes.

x Ely


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Review #22, by 800 words of heavenBehind Enemy Lines: Friday Night

27th September 2015:
Heya! I didn't read the original version of This story, but it caught my eye, so I'd give it a go!

I like Victoria so far. It's so hard realising that being average can be horribly mundane. She she was in school, everyone thought that she was going to go places, and now, she's stuck in a dead end job because of just how normal she is. I can imagine that having a Muggle father will be a problem later on in the story, though, so I'm excited to see how her family and her new friends will intersect.

It's interesting that you show Victoria to be friends with Death Eaters. I've read stories that usually show their stories from two extremes: their own sides, with a Death Eatere as a main character, or those who fought on the other side. But Victoria is on the fringes of both, stuck in the middle (seems like a theme for her).

There was just a quick glance at Regulus and Victoria in this chapter. Looking forward to their relationship developing - hopefully before either one of them dies (someone is going to die, aren't they?)

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Well thanks for trying it out!

I've always been interested in that spot in between the two sides. I always thought that there must have been people who weren't on either side so I wanted to explore that.

Yes, Regulus will unfortunately have to die at some point but there will be some Regulus/Victoria before that happens...I promise!

x Ely


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Review #23, by 800 words of heavenDance for Yourself: One

27th September 2015:
Heya! I'm here for our review swap! Sorry for being a little late.

I'll address the question you posed in your AN first, since it was something about which I was thinking as I read the entire piece: I really liked the extended metaphor! It never felt forced or contrived, which is a real achievement. Sustaining the theme of dancing so overtly in a 2000-word story is just so difficult and I really commend you for it.

The use of second person was also really fitting for the mood and tone of this story. It's as if Andromeda is telling herself this lie about her life, and then as the story progresses and she meets Ted and falls in love, she realises the reason why she doesn't fit.

All in all, this felt to me as a very poetic piece of writing, thanks to the metaphor. I kind of read it floating and swaying in my own head, which was kinda cool. It had a great flow and excellent characterisation. I would've liked to learn more about Ted, but I understand that the focus was on Andromeda, so it didn't detract from the story at all :)

Thanks for the lovely read and the review swap :)

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Review #24, by 800 words of heavenThe unusual tale of Shirley the Squib and Brian the Boggart: The unusual tale of Shirley the Squib and Brian the Boggart

27th September 2015:
Heya! Finally popping in for our review swap!

Like you, I was also very unsure what to pick to read (so many choices!) but I saw that this had one first place in The Magical Creatures challenge, and that you'd also entered it into the Children's Story Challenge, so I couldn't resist.

Ah, this was just perfect! I really loved all the lore that you built around boggarts. It was really imaginative, and I'm so going to adopt this as my boggart headcanon, now! Also Brian is such an ordinary name and he's so scary! It was so cute how his own voice scared him a little - that was a very nice touch.

The way you wrote this story was just perfect. It definitely read like a fairy tale. There was the cherubic little girl who was hated by her family. A magical animal. AND A HAPPILY EVER AFTER YAY. And it was so mysterious, still! It really felt like reading one of the original Grimm's fairy tales.

All in all, this was such a lovely story to read, and now I'm smiling and it's just fantastic! Thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: Hi! Welcome to my AP! :)

I think it is a good thing that you chose this story! I'm quite happy with how it turned out! :)

Ahahah! I'm glad you liked my interpretation of boggarts! Poor Brian... Being a boggart and not liking scary things must be really hard...

So happy you felt like the fairytale tone worked! Wow, like the Grimms, you say? That's such a huge compliment! Thank you!!! (And of course they would get their happily ever after! Happy endings are the best!!!)

Oh, thank you! I'm so happy that you enjoyed this story!!! If I managed to make you smile, then I've reached my purpose!!! ;)

Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!

Hugs,
Chiara


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Review #25, by 800 words of heavenIn a World of Colours: The Beginning of an Adventure

27th September 2015:
Heya, I'm finally popping by for our review swap!

OMG! Your first fic! So exciting! And it's a really good start, too. I'm super excited to see where the plot goes. Also yay for Jily! I got into reading fanfiction thanks to Jily and the Marauders, with my first fic being a Marauders one, too, so this was just perfect!

I really loved how you jumped right into the plot. You spend a few paragraphs establishing the beginnings of Lily as a character, and her love of sending the moving photographs home, but then BOOM! The potion drops, and they're inside the painting.

James seems like an incredibly sweet guy. I'm looking forward to learning more about him and reading him grow as a person.

Finally: talk about that cliffhanger, though! Thanks for the lovely read :)

Author's Response: Hello, thank you for stopping by!

The first fanfic I read was also Jily and now I love Jily and the Marauders so much that I just can't let them go. They sure have a charm which can draw anybody towards them. :D

I am glad you liked the plot and the format of the chapter. James' character will develop in the subsequent chapters.

The next chapter will be up soon, so can't say much about the cliffhanger now.

Thanks for the lovely review and the review swap!

- Emm ^_^


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