Reading Reviews From Member: 800 words of heaven
  
404 Reviews Found

Review #1, by 800 words of heavenMuggle Affairs: Chapter 1

25th March 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

For a first fanfic, your subject material is quite intense, which has me very impressed! Thanks to Agent Carter, I'm on a bit of a World War II bender, so this was right up my alley.

Spies! Plots! Limited magic! Two already close people who are going to become even closer! What more could you really want in a WWIII AU story?

This first chapter is quite brief, but I think its brevity suits the mood rather well. You set up the scene and the tone for the rest of the story, giving us enough of an idea of the plot to keep us intrigued. As a happy bonus, we get to meet two characters already. I'm looking forward to meet Johnny in person!

I would have loved a little more description here and there, but overall, the piece reads well and there's enough there for me to imagine the scene.

A very nice start, and good luck with the rest of the story :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for the compliments! I'm so glad to hear your opinions. I'm also happy to know that the short chapter suits the mood as I was a bit worried about if there was enough for a first chapter and if it set up the story.

I'll try to add a little more imagery, but I'm so relieved that it reads well because that was another thing I was concerned about.

Thanks!

-Jayna


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Review #2, by 800 words of heavenUnlikely: Abandoned

23rd March 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

Oh, I am so here for Gryffindor/Slytherin friendships, especially those during the Hogwarts era and between two women to boot! It kinda sucks that they have to go under an AU label, but at least you've written something like this, and for that, I am forever thankful.

First of all, I just love the fact that you've written about the beginning of a friendship between two women. So often, females are portrayed as trying to rip each other apart, especially when they're on opposites sides of a rivalry like the one between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

And OMG. The sass these two girls have! Fantastic! So fantastic! It's literally all I have to say on that subject. I am all about the sass, as well as the friendship.

It's so great that these two girls bond over something that's perceived as being really "girly" but they're so unashamedly enthusiastic about it anyway. It doesn't take anything away from their strong personalities, and I really like how it's decoupled "girly" from "weak".

I really enjoyed this little one-shot. Thanks for the lovely read :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I love Lion/Snake friendships too so I'm glad you enjoyed this.

Haha I know, females are prone to cat fights. But somehow I felt a situation should be different here.

I'm pleased you enjoyed the sass as I wasn't sure about it xP My intention was to show just how feminine stuff is good too and how it can bring people together and how it doesn't have to be something 'tough' or 'crazy', so I am glad you liked the bit.

Thanks a lot for your review!


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Review #3, by 800 words of heavenAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: The Hogwarts' Express

11th March 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

This story looked a little lonely so I thought I'd check it out. I don't really read much AU, especially those set in the Hogwarts era, but I'm open to new ideas.

So this seems pretty awesome so far. Why is Jimmy's dad not actually Jimmy's dad? Why doesn't he want anyone to find out his real identity? What even is his real identity? So many questions, and it's only the first chapter. Exciting stuff!

A lovely start and I'll be seeing you at the end of the next chapter in the nearish future :)

Author's Response: Oh, wow! Thanks!
I'm very happy that you liked this first chapter! :)
Yes, I know... A lot of questions... You'll find out the answers if you keep reading (no spoilers here, I'm sorry...)
Really hope you won't be disappointed with what comes next and that I'll hear from you again soon!
Thanks a lot again for the lovely review!
Hugs,
Chiara.


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Review #4, by 800 words of heavenThe Internal Monologue of Jamie Nott: Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

16th February 2015:
Hello Jamie! I am back sooner than expected, since this time I read this chapter at a decent time.

Ah! Your quest for true crush has been thwarted by a playful Giant Squid. Happens to the best of us, my friend.

But perhaps this is a sign that you should spend more time with your non-human friends. Might you be neglecting them in pursuit of human companionship? The balance is hard to strike, I understand, but this may be a skill that you need to cultivate in order to have a successful career as a magizoologist in the future. But enough of that. I have harped on far too long on this particular subject.

Madam Longbottom is terrifying. She puts her patients into a full body bind? That's very hardcore. I can't imagine the state to be rather comfortable or restful, however. What if you get itchy? I'd die if this happened to me. Thank goodness you have a Devyn to come save you in situations such as these. She is a true friend.

I look forward to hearing about your epiphany in the next installment, Jamie! Until then, adios!

Author's Response: Oh, any time is a decent time, 800 words of heaven!

Phew. I'm glad in not the only one! But I guess it can't be helped, right?! Gail's sweet that way. And she's got quite the knack for reminding me about that, you're right. Maybe I should!

I see, 800 words of heaven. You give excellent career advice. Ooh! Brilliant idea. I could do both at the same time!

It is. But she's just really worried about us and extreme concerned for our well-being. In that respect, I do not dare argue with her. If I get itchy, and I did, good Merlin the rage an itchy and inaccessible nose can give, I kindly asked Carmen to come over and give it a little gentle scratching. She was kind enough to do that for me. ^_^

Devyn is, mate. Most certainly is. She's amazing. . .

That's so very kind of you. And to write to me, too. Thank you for talking to me!

Cheers,
Jamie


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Review #5, by 800 words of heavenThe Internal Monologue of Jamie Nott: A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

15th February 2015:
Jamie! I am back! I actually read this particular section of your monologue a couple of days ago, but I read it far too late at night to leave a coherent review. But I am, once again, here!

I think I must go meet this person Kluge. You speak a lot of her, and despite your misgivings about her, I find her intriguing. I am sure your fear is unfounded. And I wish Devyn's brother the best of luck because being spurned by love (or is it like like?) saddens me greatly.

I think your picnic by the lake was a great idea! I dearly hope that Devyn says yes. I know I probably would ;) But alas, you are not asking me - and rightly so since we hardly know each other.

The food that you eat! OMG. I want some. I also have never eaten these awesome-sounding berries, but like you, I feel the loss deeply. And this only because I experienced their amazingness vicariously through you! I really hope that along with your quest to woo your best friend, you continue to eat amazing things.

I am now very hungry, so I shall go and drink some tea and meet you once again at the end of the next chapter. Fair thee well, Jamie!

Author's Response: Hello, dear 800 words of heaven!! Hello again!

Please, should you do so, if you could so kindly refrain from mentioning me? I fear for my life. But now for yours as well. Be safe, 800 words of heaven. I like you, don't die on me. But I may just be exaggerating. She seems scary, but inactive. Good Merlin knows. As for Devyn's brother, I suppose the worst that could happen is that she'd say 'no' and scare him??

Would you?! That's wonderful to hear. 800 words of heaven, you make me redden in the facial area.

Yay for vicarious experiences!! I shall send you some. Or I would. If I knew how. :( EATING MORE AMAZING THINGS, 800 WORDS OF HEAVEN! I shall!! This is an exclent idea of yours!! More amazing food! Hmm. . . How about Bree cheese? That's always been a favourite of hers. . .

Is this chai you speak of? THAT tea?! I want some, too!

Fair thee well as well, 800 words of heaven, new friend of mine,
Jamie


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Review #6, by 800 words of heavenIlluminations: Alfajores

14th February 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

THOSE ALFAJORES MADE ME SO HUNGRY. I have a huge sweet tooth, so the biscuits are the only thing I can think of right now. I just need a moment to process how delicious they must be before I can move on with my review.

There. That's better.

This is such a cool idea for a story! Hogwarts staff shenanigans! I love it already. I hope this fic of yours starts off its own little subgenre. I particularly like that you've chosen to pair Dumbledore and Sprout as partners in crime. The usual choice would've been Dumbledore and McGonagall, althoug I can't even begin to imagine Professor McGonagall doing something like this. But I think Pomona has that certain spark of mischief about her that would make this work.

I'm really excited to get to know the staff throughout the course of this story. I don't know how many of them you plan to include, or how far each of them will be developed, but anything you have to say about them would add to their characters from canon, I think. And they're all young! That makes it so much more fun. They're in their prime, still in the process of achieving the great things we know them for in the books. I am SOOO excited (have I mentioned this already? I think I have, but it bears mentioning again).

I also just wanted to say one final thing about your description. I'm rubbish at it myself, and so I'm always on the lookout for it. This is just great. There's little dialogue here, so I could really focus on the descriptions and savour them for their beauty. They created the scene in my head quite vividly, especially all the times you spoke of Pomona's breath - it felt as if I was breathing along with her.

This is such a great start, and I'm super excited for the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for stopping by! :)

Haha, they made me so hungry too while I was writing it. I had to look them up, look at pictures and ingredients and things to get the description and it was so bad... had to buy biscuits the next day to make up for them :P

I'm so glad you like the idea! It's something which had been buzzing around my head for a little while now, and when I mentioned the idea on the forums, people seemed to think it was interesting, so I had to write it them! Yeah, I did consider McGonagall, but as you say her personality doesn't quite fit it, but I also wanted it to be Pomona for plot reasons :P And mostly because McGonagall works much better as a character being meddled with than meddling herself, haha.

I'm so excited about including the staff! I think there'll be quite a lot who are familiar from canon - maybe a couple of OCs, or named teachers who don't appear in the books - but I'm hoping to include a lot of the people we know from canon, even if only as background characters. They're all young, yeah - apart from Albus, lol, he's heading out of young, I think :P But yeah, they've all got time and they're all still learning and growing and so on... It's going to be so much fun, and I'm so glad to see you're as excited about it as I am! :D

Thank you so much! This, um, actually has a comparatively large amount of dialogue for me :P I remember finishing it and thinking 'so much dialogue' haha, but then I don't usually write much at all... a few lines at most :P I'm so glad you liked the description, though - I'm used to writing scenery, but food and things are pretty new for me, so some bits of it were more difficult to write than I expected.

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review - it was so lovely to get - and I'll try to get the next chapter up soon! ;)

Aph xx


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Review #7, by 800 words of heavenThe Internal Monologue of Jamie Nott: The Two Laws of Hogwarts

14th February 2015:
Hello Jamie! It is a pleasure to read your story. Alas, this is the first time I am visiting the page on which your story is hosted, and this saddens me somewhat since it seems as if you are in quite good company. But I am here!

Jamie, you lead a far more interesting life than I do. I also admire you for your clear goal-setting. At your age, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I somewhat envy you, since you know what your vocation is.

You describe yourself as liking humans/humanoid, and I don't think that can be better exemplified than by your friendship with Hagrid. Despite his horrible cooking skills, you visit him regularly, are genuinely interesting in his life, and offer your help without expecting anything in return. I don't know how you treat your other friends, but Hagrid is lucky to count you as a homie.

Jamie, I wish you well on your quest to score a date with one Devyn Yang. Things are more complicated for you because of the best friend thing, but I am sure things will work in your favour. I am, after all, reading this on Valentine's Day, and that just HAS to mean something.

See you next chapter Jamie!

Author's Response: 800 words of heaven, hello there!

Ah well, that's alright, you are here now! Em says she'd like to give you a hug for that. Not give? Okay, she says 'maul.' She'd like to maul you with a hug, Em that's kind of harsh? Anyways. . .

Nah, I'm sure your life is loads interesting. :D We all have our stories, I suppose. ;) Why thank you! It was a 'do what you love' kind of thing, I guess. Plus, the career opportunities the profs explore here are pretty helpful. I'm sure that whatever you choose in the future you'll do extremely well! Best of best of luck, 800 words of heaven. You already work wonderfully in your career as a Master of Awesome! :P

Aww, Hagrid? He's a lovely guy despite his horrible cooking. You cannot not love a guy like him. He does really cool stuff, too! He's what first got me thinking about my career opportunities. I owe a lot to him. 800 words of heaven, you make me red, thank you.

That's extremely kind of you and I really appreciate it a whole lot!! That's true and yes you are, let's hope your doing so can do something for me.

Happy Valentine's Day, 800 words of heaven!!

Cheers,
Jamie


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Review #8, by 800 words of heavenJames Potter's Stupid Journal: Keep It Simple, Stupid

14th February 2015:
Heya! I'm back for chapter three!

I'm sad to see that this is the last chapter posted. I hope that you come back to this story soon. I'm really enjoying reading it.

James is such a pleasure to read. He's not a player or anything, but he is a little mischievous which rather suits him. He's also a bit of a mummy's boy, keeping his journal in his bag, although I don't think that is something you'd want getting into the hands of the Marauders.

I hadn't even thought about the fact that the Map doesn't lie. I can't imagine a scenario where the Marauders don't figure out what's going on, so that should be fun. Right now it's funny watching them sort of shun him. I can imagine that they're quite secretive, what with all the the illegal Animagi and General mischief-making that they get up to. It's nice to see that at least Lily is not that way.

Lovely chapter! I hope you post the next one soon :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes, unfortunately this is all I have posted so far. I'm studying abroad this semester, so we'll see how much time I have to write... But I can tell you I have a good part of chapter 4 written. :D

I am SO GLAD you like James. He is a bit mischievous, yes, and also definitely a bit of a mummy's boy-- though he will forever maintain that it's not that he's a mummy's boy, but that his mum is rather scary when she wants to be. :P And no, I don't think that's something the Marauders should get their hands on-- especially now that James is using it as a log of operations of sorts. That list especially might be troublesome. ^_^

We'll have to see how long it takes/if the Marauders find out everything. :P It'll definitely take some finagling on James and Sofie's parts no matter how things turn out...

And I'm sure I have NO IDEA what you're talking about. Between being illegal Animagi, all the pranking the Marauders get up to, and Remus' furry little problem, I don't see ANY reason why the Marauders might be secretive. XD

I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, but like I said, I'm studying abroad, so we'll see how it works out.

Thanks once more for the lovely review! :D



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Review #9, by 800 words of heavenEvolution: The Prince's Path

14th February 2015:
Heya! I'm back again!

I really enjoyed this chapter for the way it set up the scene for what's happening outside of Hogwarts with Voldemort's aggressive rise to power. What I particularly enjoy about the way you write these events is that you make it relevant to the students at Hogwarts. They're very much a part of this movement, more so for Voldemort right now, but I think Dumbledore is grooming Lily and James to be his torchbearers for the good fight in the halls of Hogwarts. I imagine that this would have quite an impact on them and thus influence their decision to join the Order after they graduate. most other stories I've read portray the reason for this change to be quite sudden and because of some sort of cataclysmic event, but you're building it up slow, which makes it far more realistic.

Snape is as melodramatic as ever. It's interesting to read about what motivates him. To me, he seems far more caught up in the fact that this gives him importance and respect and a chance to be a leader. More than anything else I think he enjoys the recognition. He's also still deluded when it comes to Lily, thinking that she'd defend him about being caught in a Death Eater hangout. What even, Snape? This is a bit ridiculous, even for him.

I liked they way you used Dumbledore as a link between Hogwarts and the rest of the community. However, I did find that some of his dialogue was rather inane. I understand the effect you were trying to achieve; he speaks in riddles - and a lot of what he said was to that effect. Also my guess to the book he gave James is The Art of War.

Looking forward to the next chapter, as always :)

Author's Response: Hello again! You are correct about the book - and the dialogue. The struggle with that for me was that I actually had originally intended this scene to be far more literal, but as I wrote it and reflected more, I realized there was no chance that Dumbledore would be as open about things with James and Lily, especially not at this phase of their lives, and so I had to re-write it to be much more riddle-y, perhaps going too far in that direction.

You're definitely right too about him wanting them to be torchbearers. I definitely imagine that both Dumbledore and Voldemort would have a great interest in winning over the youth of the era if possible. Dumbledore's difficulty of course is that despite his machinations, he is still ultimately good and wouldn't abuse his authority to achieve his ends, while Voldemort is happy to have loyal subjects infiltrate Hogwarts (including student leadership positions) to accomplish his ends. Because of this difference, Dumbledore needs to have James and Lily decide for themselves to fight that "hearts and minds" battle in the halls and he chose them because he believes they will - and will do so better as a unified team. As you point out, this is definitely something I want to explore slowly and realistically so that we can see the first War's impact on students too outside of the deaths (and because it definitely WILL dovetail with the pair's decision to join the Order).

As for Snape's thoughts on Lily, I don't think I conveyed it as well as I could have because I try to keep Snape's sentences mostly short to fit his overall sense of bitterness in that area. Really, what I intended to express better was to pick-up on his side of Lily and James's silent exchange about whether he would hurt her, to emphasize that he would not have. Something to come back and edit later. Even outside of Lily though, he is a rather dramatic character. Part of that is that he's still a teenager and that he's not yet developed his more canonical ability to be as coldly calculating. Here he's also on a high about, as you say, the prospect of significance and recognition, which I think given his upbringing and his sorting into Slytherin would be big driving factors for him.

Right now, I'm trying desperately to crank out a challenge entry, but after that I'll be starting the next chapter for sure. It should have more direct interaction between James and Lily as well as more prominent appearances by Remus and Peter and, whether it's your thing or not, Quidditch practice.

Thanks for the wonderful, thoughtful review!


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Review #10, by 800 words of heavenEvolution: Twice Skived

13th February 2015:
Heya! I've fallen a little behind on this story since Secret Santa ended, but I have finally arrived.

I quite enjoyed this chapter. The length of it allowed me to get back into the swing of things and reacquaint myself with your characters. I did find the transitions a little abrupt, but since the scenes themselves were so distinct, it didn't detract too much from the overall flow of the chapter.

It was really nice to see Sirius unintentionally prodding Lily towards some introspection. I'd never really thought about it that way before, but the way Sirius phrased her behaviour as hypocritical concerning arrogance rang true with me. I see this not only as the beginnings of Lily realising her own flaws, but perhaps also the start of her and Sirius' eventually-close friendship.

It's comforting to see James doing a little better this chapter, although I imagine it'll take him quite some time to get over what happened with Katie. His little rant about the reason why things are the way they are with Voldemort's rise to power is admirable, but also a little idealistic - I feel as if he's simplified the situation somewhat, and this is quite telling of the way he sees the world in terms of black and white.

The Death Eater gathering at Hogwarts was a clever reminder about what's happening outside the walls of Hogwarts. We read a lot about it through Lily's ruminations but there's something else to be said about seeing it first hand. And the fact that two prefects were involved underscored the point that no one is really above suspicion.

Lovely chapter! I'll be back for the next soon :)

Author's Response: Howdy!

Thanks so much for this review and the recommendation on the forums! I've never had a story recommended before so it was a great thing to come back to after a LONG day (and long weekend ahead). I've really enjoyed all the thought and detail that you put into your reviews and this one is no different.

I definitely hear you about the transitions, they were way harder than normal. The first one was originally a little softer with a transitional Lily-introspective scene, but it felt a bit too much like pulling back the curtain and undermining the effect of Sirius's comment at the end of Potions so I struck it.

As for James, he's definitely doing better. And he is very black and white about things. It's one of the interesting aspects (I think) about what his and Lily's relationship will become - James is really the "man of action" and while Lily has no fear of acting decisively herself, she has a more considered, nuanced approach. They'll prove to be complementary in that way once Lily realizes that just about the only people she HASN'T taken a considered approach to are James and Sirius (which is on the way soon).

I'm interested to see what you think of the next chapter (in particular the meeting with Dumbledore) as it plays more on the war growing and its impact on the school and Dumbledore's corresponding machinations without being overt at this point.

Thanks a million!


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Review #11, by 800 words of heavenRose: Unrequited

12th February 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

I'm also here for our February review exchange... and last week's Hot Seat. But since I'm fulfilling so many review thingies in one, I'll leave more :)

This was so sad and sweet. Scorose are one of my OTPs and it just breaks my heart when they can't be together :(

I liked the way you wrote Scorpius. He quite obviously values Rose and their relationship. I'm a little unclear as to the particular flavour of his love. Is it romantic? Or does he just love her without needing the romance? I got the impression that he wanted his feelings reciprocated romantically, but he understood that they weren't. He just wanted what's best for her.

In that sense, I really liked this story. His love is so altruistic. He just wants to be there for her, and make sure that she is happy and well. That's really adorable too.

Lovely one-shot! It really made me think about the different forms love can take.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am glad you liked the way I wrote Scorpius. He loves her truly but his happiness lies in happiness. I am glad you enjoyed this!

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Review #12, by 800 words of heavenKeep Calm and Carry On: Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

11th February 2015:
REVIEW SWAP.

I've been meaning to start reading this story for the longest time. It's been floating around the forums and tumblr, and I'm always like "I shall read that!... Tomorrow." But finally, tomorrow has arrived and I am here.

This is a great start. I'm not really a bar person and this has just underscored for me why. This is a good thing, because I was very vividly imagining the setting and the crowd and the noise... I am Lisa. An old maid.

I quite enjoy Edie's voice. She's a twenty-something with her life not like what people say it should be by then, but she's unconcerned. I really like that. I can somewhat relate to her situation and I take heart in her attitude.

What I'm most looking forward to in the next few chapters is getting to know Dean and Seamus better. They seem quite fun now and I'm sort of excited to read about their adventures through adulthood.

Excellent start. I shall be back for more... soon :)

Author's Response: Hey! Well I'm glad that "tomorrow has arrived," as you've said. Also pretty pumped that my incessant spamming of this fic on Tumblr is paying off ;)

Hahaha, that's funny--I can indeed see how a crowded room full of drunk Quidditch hooligans does not sound appealing.

As for Edie's unconcern with not really having a direction in life, it comes and goes. Some days she's fine with it, and some days she feels completely worthless.

Dean and Seamus! They are so present in the beginning of this story and then they just drop off the face of the planet, mostly because Edie is so terrible with keeping up with friends. But I indeed miss them.

Thanks for the review ♥


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Review #13, by 800 words of heavenJames Potter's Stupid Journal: I See Dead People

11th February 2015:
Heya! I'm finally dropping in for chapter two :)

Gah! I actually love James Potter II as a drama queen. I feel like it fits his need for a little excitement in his life, although getting transported back in time would kind of cover the quota of "exciting things happening" for me.

Sofie is still interesting - there hasn't been a dip since the last chapter. I'd like to get to know her better in the next chapter, though. I feel as if my understanding of her is so superficial when compared to James.

Dumbledore is still crazy. That's good to know. He's about the only person who'd actually believe a time travelling story at face value, although I am glad that he seriously considered the possibility that Sofie was just Sirius in drag. That's totally possible - and far more plausible. Also I love how James' last name is Harrison - I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

As for the whole time travelling thing - that is an intriguing mystery indeed. How did they travel so far back and not die? Who set it up? Why did it even happen? So many questions!

Author's Response: Hello again! :D

James II is totally a drama queen. He is related to both Ron and Harry AND James I AND Sirius (albeit distantly)-- there is no universe in which this kid isn't a drama queen. At least to me.

So glad Sofie's still interesting, and I will definitely try to flesh out her out more thoroughly. James is easier to flesh out because he's the narrative voice, but he should be able to describe his best-mate-and-crush fairly well, I think. :)

Dumbledore has, in fact, experienced Sirius in drag thanks to a memorable event in Fourth Year involving the Hufflepuff girls' dormitories, five House Elves, and far too much Butterbeer. It stands to reason it might happen again.

James' last name is brilliant, right? Simple, yet brilliant. ^_^ As for the time travelling questions... well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? ^_^

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #14, by 800 words of heavenNoodles a la Scorpius: Noodles a la Scorpius

11th February 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

This was so cute! Gah! Little Scorpius is so naughty! And adorable!

I'm not a parent but I have a feeling if my toddler did that to my shoes, my reaction would be similar to that of Draco's anger. Shoes are expensive! And not very good houses for toads! Also noodles are nice to eat, not to decorate.

But I couldn't find myself feeling angry with Scorpius as I was reading this. He's just too cute. He just really doesn't like shoes but does enjoy all the other things that any self-respecting four-year-old should like, such as mud and toads and spiders. Draco and Astoria should just be pleased that he enjoys the great outdoors so much, since that's so often a complaint concerning "kids these days". Way to go Scorpius!

I'm looking forward to reading more stories about Scorpius as he grows up. I wonder if he's going to get more rebellious and how Draco is going to react. Looking forward to it :)

Author's Response: Thanks for tagging me! I'm glad you liked it. This one was a lot of fun to write and the others I'm working on are equally entertaining (at least in my opinion as I'm writing them). I hope you'll be back to read the others in the collection as they progress through his life.

xx-Ellie


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Review #15, by 800 words of heavenA Single Point In Time: 1982

10th February 2015:
Heya! Since the first chapter was so short - as was this one - and my reviews aren't that long either, I thought I'd drop by and review this one as well.

I really admire the way you write complex characters. I don't like Petunia, but I found myself empathising with her just the same. She feels something at the loss of her sister, but she knows the feeling isn't nearly as strong as it should be. She also realises that she could never love Harry the way she loves Dudley, and instead of berating herself, she accepts this as fact and rather feels sorry for Harry. It was interesting to note here that she doesn't blame Harry for their current predicament either. It simply is. Perhaps that resentment comes later?

I also wanted to say something about the descriptions. They're lovely to read. They're simple and subtle complementing the scene without being obtrusive. I love that here, since it's so effective. I can really focus on the characters that way.

Lovely stuff! I'm excited for more :)

Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks for reviewing both of the chapters - it means a lot to have someone look over this one too and it's made me power on with the next chapter!

I love writing characters that aren't really explored as much in the books. Obviously Petunia and Vernon, they're not nice characters because they're so obviously horrible to Harry and I think it would be wrong to portray them nicely. But at the same time they are still characters and they'd have all sorts of mixed and jumbled feelings in-between that nastiness. I don't like Petunia either, but I did want to explore her grief and also her maternal side which she obviously has. I'm glad this chapter worked for you!

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's really encouraging and I'm glad that these two brief chapters were enjoyable and well, made you think! :) Thanks for dropping by to review!



Laura xxx


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Review #16, by 800 words of heavenA Single Point In Time: 1981

10th February 2015:
REVIEW SWAP.

So this is a super great start! I don't read much stuff written in this time period, but I'm now very intrigued to see what happens.

I really enjoyed this look into Albus' headspace. It's a nice place to explore the inner cogs of a complicated man. You portrayed him with doubts about his decision to leave Harry on the Dursleys' doorstep, as well as exemplified his compassion by having Dumbledore feel concern over the baby's comfort and safety.

I also liked reading his ruminations about what this would mean for their community now. He understands that people are going to celebrate - and that yes this is a reason to celebrate - but he also realises that their hardships have not ended yet. It showed in a rather subtle way that Dumbledore understands the way the world works, and it is because of this understanding that he's able to play the long game so effectively.

A fantastic start! Onto the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Oh wow thank you for your reviews! 2?! You spoil me! :'D

I'm really pleased you liked Dumbledore here. I'm super aware he doesn't really do much but I wanted to show that at this point there's not a lot really that he can do, which is a weird position for him to be in. I agree - I think he's always quite conscious of the devastation of the war. Lily and James' deaths would be playing on his mind just as much as everyone's, really, but I agree that he does have this strange faith-like, logical way of letting things play out in due course.

Thank you for such a lovely review! Laura xxx


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Review #17, by 800 words of heavenMultiverse Theory: Coffee Shop Etude

9th February 2015:
Heya! I saw that you had a new one-shot posted over on the forums and I can't resist a Jily!

Ah! So cute! This AU is a really popular one these days, especially over on tumblr (I'm thinking of getting into the hype myself). I loved the way you wrote this! This is exactly the kind of stuff I love about modern muggle AUs - there's so much room to choose.

The coffee shop route is a familiar one, but I really liked your spin on it. Lily as an aspiring author was a good fit for the character for me, and there's just something about imagining James Potter as a musician... so dreamy. Bonus points for not having James be the barista!

I'm going to keep my eyes on the lookout for your longer Jily modern muggle AU. Awesome read :)

Author's Response: Hiya! Thanks for stopping by. :D

I love reading the AUs on Tumblr, especially for Jily and WolfStar. If you do get into the hype, please let me know! We can squeal about it together. :D There is so much leeway with Muggle AUs that it's almost like writing original fic, but you have set characterizations for the characters. I enjoy it very much. :)

I've read many coffee shop AUs, but for this one, I wanted to add in something of my own experience. I myself am a writer and a musician, so putting those talents in James and Lily was a lot of fun. James Potter would be The Most Popular Musician, if only because of his hair. :) Yep, no barista-customer involvement here. I wanted a different angle.

Thanks! If I finish it tonight, it'll be up by the end of the week. :D

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #18, by 800 words of heavenHurricane Luna: He Searches in His Heart

5th February 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

I NEED MORE. THIS CANNOT BE THE END.

Poor Rolf! He's beating himself up really hard over this. I am glad though that he's finally figured out that he loves Luna and that she's the one for him. Took him long enough. Honestly, this boy needs to get it together!

And the reactions of everyone else! I kind of felt bad for Rolf because whilst he did yell at her, I can't find it in myself to directly blame him for Luna disappearing. It doesn't seem quite like Luna to just abandon her friends without another word. Although Neville was very scary. I was sitting here and feeling terrified. I think he might've eaten poor Rolf if Harry hadn't intervened.

And yay! Albus saves the day! Go Albus! He's such a sweetheart in this story, all curious innocence and just wanting to help find his Auntie Luna. So adorable!

I've really enjoyed reading this story so far AND I REALLY HOPE YOU UPDATE.

Author's Response: Hello!

Gah - thank you so much. I'm working on it. I promise. I'm actually fretting over letting everyone down with this story. It's caused me a bit of stress - but I WILL finish it. Abandoning stories just isn't like me at all - that's why I have only 2 WIP on the archives.

I'm so relieved that you felt bad for Rolf. That is what I was going for and I've had mixed results. It's so hard not to completely Love Luna and clearly all o her friends are willing to do just about anything for her. I think he sees how special she is to everyone and that just makes him more determined to prove himself.

Thanks again for this review! It was so sweet!

♥ Beth


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Review #19, by 800 words of heavenWe Are One: It begins with pink

5th February 2015:
REVIEW SWAP.

Ooh! A murder mystery! I love a good murder mystery. And Umbridge as the first victim! I think I'm supposed to feel bad for a victim of a violent crime but it's really hard when she was the perpetrator of so many violent crimes herself. Harry and Ginny are right - it's hard to know what to feel in this circumstance. Very confused is all I can say with certainty.

And Harry and Ron are on the case! Look at them being all professional and experienced at detective work! I kept on flashing back to these two running around Hogwarts in Chamber of Secrets whilst they tried to figure out how Hermione was petrified and they basically just very bravely flailed their arms around futilely. But they're all grown up now! I'm looking forward to reading more of them as senior Aurors.

As to the murderer... because that scene is written in second person, the murderer must be a member of canon. But who...? Right now, my wild guess is going to be Cornelius Fudge. I always thought he was a bit of a loon and the way Umbridge reacted... Also, how come Harry's dark magic detection spell couldn't detect the use of the Cruciatus Curse? Or was he just checking at the entrances of the house for such things?

Great start :)

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Review #20, by 800 words of heavenHurricane Luna: He Loses on an Island

5th February 2015:
REVIEW SWAP.

I always forget how much I miss Rolf until I return and start reading this story again. I'm a bit sad to note that this is the second-last chapter published. Please write more soon!

Goodness. Rolf is a mess around people. How can he not realise that he doesn't like any of his assistants because they aren't Luna? But let's be real, who else but Luna can be Luna. She is amazing. I'm very annoyed at Rolf for pushing her away. Bad Rolf.

But it's so heartbreaking to see him finding Luna at every twist and turn. I expected him to be more angsty about it, but he's still very Rolf in the way he mourns her loss and wants her to come back but also doesn't want that and just wishes that all the pain would end. Hugs for Rolf are in order.

And now she's missing! I just love that Rolf is immediately all "I'LL FIND HER. BRB." He's such a sweetheart, if a little naive. It's so blindingly obvious that he adores her, even if he can be stupid about it sometimes. Alas, he wouldn't be Rolf without that particular quirk!

Also, I think I've mentioned this before, but it's just something that I think every time I see the banner for this story. TJ Thyne is the most perfect FC for Rolf there could possibly be. That is all.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for doing a swap!

You really know Rolf - he is a right mess around people and he seriously doesn't see that his dysfunction is because he misses Luna. He needs her - to make him whole. I know he doesn't come off as completely remorseful in this chapter, but he might need to REALLY lose her before he begins to see it.

Haha - a naive sweetheart! I like that description of Rolf. He is clueless and a lot in love and he just wants to save the day!

I'm glad you like TJ Thyne. He was the first person that popped into me head and I get so, so many comments on this banner!

Thanks for this awesome review!

♥ Beth


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Review #21, by 800 words of heavenThrough The Darkest: A Case Worth Waiting For

5th February 2015:
REVIEW SWAP. Sorry for being a little late :)

So this is a super interesting start. A (possible) murder mystery involving Ginny Weasley. How exciting! I'm very intrigued about where the story is going to head - and how Teddy plays into it all, since he wasn't mentioned in this chapter, but was in the summary.

I love the amount of description. I'm terrible at it, so I always pay attention to it in other people's work, and I think you've done a lovely job. It creates an image in my head of the setting and characters, and so their actions are given some context. Well done!

I also like the way you opened this with a flashback scene from an unknown person's perspective. It has the feeling of the books themselves, as often, the first chapter wouldn't be from Harry's point of view at all.

I enjoyed the different sections as well. I think it's a good way to keep the pacing fast and quite clearly separates one section from another for the reader. There were places where the endings were a little abrupt for me, but that was a minor thing.

Overall, this is a fantastic start. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: Hello there! I'm so sorry for responding so late! I was kind of busy with college for the last few days. :(

I won't say this is a murder mystery even though it is concerned with murders and other criminal stuff. :) Ginny is just missing and this story is about what happened during these five years. This was mostly an introductory chapter, so nothing much is revealed here, but I'm sure things will get clearer in the next. The next chapter is centered at Teddy.

I personally don't think you are terrible at descriptions ;) but thanks for the compliment! I have put a lot of work into descriptions lately, so it makes me feel extra good to know that you liked them. :) Imagery is very hard and compliments about it make me super happy. :D

Actually the whole story will be told through switched point of views even though Cress is the protagonist. :) There are more flashback scenes in random chapters too.

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving this awesome review! :D

Ashwini



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Review #22, by 800 words of heavenSix O'clock: Six O'clock

5th February 2015:
REVIEW TAG.

Okay, so I saw fluff, Marauders, and stream of consciousness and I was like YUS!

I find writing stream of consciousness to be very difficult because you have to still tell a story and have it make sense and that can be hard when one's thoughts are just a jumble of barely connected ideas. But I like how with this piece your circumnavigated that problem by giving the thoughts some focus. They were waiting for someone, they were focused on a specific time, an event. That definitely helped with clarity.

And OMG! I totally thought he was dead too! I was like NO!!! but then he was alive and late and I kind of wanted to hit him for that but also I was like YES!!! Well done on making me feel so attached to a character I barely met and in around five hundred words! Woohoo! Amazing stuff :)

Author's Response: Hey thank you for the review on this one-shot, I love writing stream of consciosness it's how I usually get my ideas, then I edit and such. But this is one of my favorite one shots that I've written. I'm happy you think it's amazing :) usually I think my writing kind of bites but reviews like this one make me smile :)

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Review #23, by 800 words of heavenWhere My Demons Hide: There is nowhere we can hide

3rd February 2015:
SLYTHERIN REVIEW TAG.

I love this song! It's one of my favourite Imagine Dragons songs. And so obviously, I couldn't resist this story. I also read all the prose to the melody of it, and... it actually worked! So well done for fitting the song in twice (in my head at least).

Avi, I can always count on you to make me feel not only a little creeped out, but also very sad. How do you do this?!??! What are your nefarious secrets?!?!?! This was just great. I am thoroughly scared but also thoroughly sad because he lost his love - even though it's (almost) certainly his fault.

Thanks so much for this lovely story! There's not much substance to this review, for which I profusely apologise. However, in my defence, your excellent writing has left me rather discombobulated. Excellent stuff :)

Author's Response: Hi 800!

I love this song as well! It's so dark and creepy, yet so alluring. Ugh. Imagine Dragons *draws a big heart*
I'm glad it all worked out, I listened to the song on REPEAT while writing this. I was really hoping to sort of get that dark mood into this plot.

Haha, I'm sorry, I can't tell you any of my secrets :b
I'm glad I scared you. And yes, it's sad he lost her and he never truly meant to harm her. It was the other side of him that did it.

Thank you so much for your review! I loved it!

- Avi


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Review #24, by 800 words of heavenA New Life - Speed Dating Entry: A New Chapter in our Lives

3rd February 2015:
Heya! Finally dropping in for the Slytherin January review exchange... three days late.

So I was pleasantly surprised by this story. I don't like Vernon and Petunia Dursley, at all - especially Vernon, but you made me feel something for these two characters, despite that. Well done!

I think writing this in the first person was a great idea. It helped me empathise with Petunia, and I really felt for their predicament. It must have been hard for them to have to uproot their lives because of a war with which they had nothing to do. And the Dursleys really don't like change, so that must have been even harder.

I really liked how you dwelt in how mundane their lives are. But their love is strong, the ordinariness not taking away from that.

I really enjoyed this story. Awesome stuff :)

Author's Response: Heya! Thanks so much for the lovely review :)

I am so happy you liked my story because it was pretty daunting writing it. Vernon and Petunia are not the easiest characters to write about mainly just because in the HP books we see them through Harry's eyes and he sees them as these horrible people, which is not that far from the truth considering how they treated him for all those years. But there is never just one facet to a person. There is always more and that's what I was aiming with this story. To discover what's behind their nastiness towards Harry. How do they act in each other's presence when he's not around to tell him off? What are their feelings for one another? It was a challenge to write them but I enjoyed it a lot. Much more than I would have expected lol

They are definitely a couple who are terrible at adapting to change, so in my mind, as you also pointed out, their uprooting would have come as a shock. Their lives were always mundane but they were happy with it so when they had to move, it was one of the most difficult things they had to adjust to.

Thanks so much once again for reviewing this! I am very happy you enjoyed it :)


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Review #25, by 800 words of heavenJames Potter's Stupid Journal: The Horror Begins

23rd January 2015:
Heya! I've been meaning to read this story for a while now, and I finally got the time, so here I am!

Ah! I really like this! James is adorable. Sofie is adorable. Albus is adorable. So far, everyone is adorable. And already things are exploding in flashes of light, time travel is very real (and very cool) and James's crush on Sofie is so obvious! Yay for rapid plot progression!

Looking forward to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by! :)

I'm so glad you like this, and especially that my James is adorable-- he's definitely supposed to be. Like a golden retriever. ^_^ I am especially glad you think his crush on Sofie's obvious-- I'm new to writing characters with crushes (and anything resembling romance in general, actually), so I'm glad I'm doing well so far. His crush is supposed to be fairly obvious, at least to the readers.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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