Reading Reviews From Member: LittleWelshGirl99
245 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LittleWelshGirl99Statues of Us: Statues of Us

28th September 2012:
Ugh, this was so powerful and sad. I love the way you wove the picture so clearly and heart-wrenchingly, it was just perfect and horrible at the same time. Bittersweet, definitely. I had certainly teared up somewhere along the line because I had to wipe my eyes the computer screen was all blurry!

I’ve always been afraid of writing stories with Harry in because it’s so hard to characterise him right. But this – this was wonderful. All of Harry’s reactions and thoughts and things – it was all exactly the way I might imagine them to be.

The thought of all those crying families decorating gravestones and saying goodbye – it was so real and raw and heartbreaking! Gosh, this was so amazing.

I also like the way Harry acknowledged that he hadn’t /really/ been a fighter – “running around underneath the invisibility cloak” during the battle. And although it’s a bit too self-critical (he did save the world :P) I liked that line. I just did.

Anyway, I’m sorry about my series of rather unhelpful reviews – I’ve always been a slow reviewer! But I’ve had a lot of fun reading all your lovely stories jordan :3 Write more soon!!

-Annon ♥

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Review #27, by LittleWelshGirl99Actor: Actor

28th September 2012:
You definitely didn’t make me barf with this! I love fluff! I LIVE for fluff! YAY.

And gosh, “can I have a calming draught? Why? you make me nervous” is just the best pick up line I’ve heard in ... well, ever! Hilarious! How on earth did you come up with that? ;D And oh hi there potential Rose/Scorpius chemistry! Aww this was just so unbelievably cute. I want to cuddle this story. It’s so innocent and adorable >:D *creepy grin*

I love the quotes for this too, and the way you created a plot around them. Rose was uber cool and awesome too! Man, I wish I could act like those two can!

I honestly had no idea how this was going to end and I was rather pleasantly surprised by the fact that there were no odd twists or anything, it was just a little snapshot into the characters’ lives. At first I thought Rose was going to fall for Scorpius’s act and stuff, but no she didn’t which I liked and it added that extra bit of originality. It was great!

Argh such cuteness. I will die from it ♥

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Review #28, by LittleWelshGirl99Just for the Night: Written in the Planets

28th September 2012:
There’s something very majestic about this piece of writing. I can just imagine the centaur, regally strolling through the forbidden forest, and Harry’s snitch fluttering around his head like a halo.

Weirdly, the banner really helped me to picture the scene – and it totally suits the story which I love. Annd it’s so pretty :3

Of all people to eventually find the snitch/resurrection stone, it would make a lot of sense for that someone to be a centaur. It’s extremely unlikely that it would be found, but still… this is probably the way I’ll always imagine it is from now on! Your descriptive language was beautiful and poignant, and I loved the way you characterised the centaur. He seemed so… centaur-y? He seemed human and civilised most of the time, but there were sections – sentences that were just hinting – towards his more feral, wild & haughty disposition. Animalistic. I don’t quite know how to describe it but it was gorgeous :P

I like that you brought Ronan and Bane into the story, it added that extra bit of depth.
basically, this was great ! Very clever.

-Annon ♥

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Review #29, by LittleWelshGirl99The Hanging Cycle: love & then disgust

28th September 2012:
Hello :)

This was really clever. I love the way you broke the piece into ‘scenes’ – it reminded me very much of a play actually. I could see each scene acting out in my head, and even though you don’t reveal who Isabella’s “magic boy” is, that just adds a whole new level of intrigue. I don’t know why, but I was imagining the magic boy as Scorpius from the beginning. :D

It’s really beautiful and sensitive :3 I sort of want to smile and cry at the same time because I’m not sure whether this is happy or sad. I know it’s about the boy leading Isabella on, but perhaps that was just Isabella’s perception? I’m not sure. There are lots of different ways you could interpret this!

Isabella is interesting. We don’t really get to know all that much about her, but I don’t think we need to. It’s section three that fascinates me the most – especially the part where she’s yelling to be heard over a ‘storm’ and the boy is saying that it’s quiet here (but ta the same time seems to understand). I sense that there are layers of meaning and it’s very mysterious but delicious! ;)

The ending was brilliant. I love the way it ties into the title.

wonderful :3

-Annon ♥

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Review #30, by LittleWelshGirl99Clinging to the Edge: The Shattered Plan

28th September 2012:
Helloo :3

God, I can’t believe this story has no reviews yet! I was completely gripped reading this.

I felt so bad for Molly, especially when she fainted in the entrance hall! What a horrible place for David to break up with her. And they’ve been together since third year, too?! What year is Molly in this? (It was sort of funny when Molly thought he was going to propose though, and I was half expecting her to blurt out an ‘I do!’ and just embarrass herself further, but ah well. :P).

I really like the fact that this is written in third person. Most next-gen humours are first person and really hyper but you’ve got a nice balance between the funny parts (hitting on the floor, anyone? I love the way you characterised Lucy here ;D) while still maintaining a high standard of writing. The chapter flowed really well and left me desperate to know more! I can see from the summary that it’s a possible Molly/Scorpius and that’s quite an unusual pairing and I really want to read about all the relationships between characters – especially Molly and Lucy, that seemed interesting.

Basically, this was brill. An amazing first chapter.

I think you should keep on with this! I’d definitely read more :)

-Annon ♥

Author's Response: Annon!! I can't believe you've just left all these nice reviews for me all of a sudden. I'm left here to wonder what could have possibly spurred you to write such nice things for me. Love you muchly ♥

Since this is my focus story right now, I'll reply to this review first. Completely gripped reading this? :O DON'T GIVE ME FALSE HOPE, WOMAN. Haha, you may feel bad for Molly now, but you might not later. ;) I was hoping that the hint at OWLs would show that Molly was a fifth year...maybe I need to make it more obvious? But I like my subtleties :P I guess the proposing thing might make people think she's in 7th year, but Molly has a VERY overactive imagination.

I love Lucy, too! I think so far she is definitely my favorite character because she has spunk, but Scorpius hasn't even come into the picture yet, so he might claim my heart in the end. I'm in the midst of writing the second chapter right now, so I'm really taking your comments into account here LOL. I definitely will pay more attention to developing the relationship between Molly and Lucy.

I'm so happy that you liked this chapter so much! I'll try to post the second chapter soon :) Thank you so much for this helpful review, and I'll try to reply to the other lovely ones you left as soon as possible, too! ♥

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Review #31, by LittleWelshGirl99Like A Soda Can: Crush

28th September 2012:
Hi Jordan!

I totally see about that paradox-type-thing at the beginning! And I know that that’s really not the thing to be getting excited about in this chapter, but I just never thought about that before. Indescribable is an adjective, and so it is describing! That makes it an oxymoron, right? Erm… don’t answer that. I’m probably wrong :P

One thing I didn’t understand in this chapter was why Alice said she didn’t want to be ‘gotten’? I thought she fancied him? I’m confused! Oh, wait…was she just saying that because she couldn’t exactly tell him she liked him?

But anyway, YAY! A+A MIGHT BE HAPPENING. EE. SO HAPPY. I can’t wait to find out a bit more about Albus, actually, because we don’t know all that much about him yet apart from the fact that he’s a bookworm.

I noticed that the dialogue was really natural and flowing in this chapter- and it has been in the previous chapters as well, but there was just less of it. Albus and Alice have loads of sexual tension between them, haha. :D I’m all excited about their relationship now, and just hope that James doesn’t do something silly and mess it up for them.

Wow, this has been so much fun to read. I’m really sad that you’ve abandoned it and still can’t believe that I only realised it after I’d written all your reviews (so if any of them don't quite make sense that could be why. there i go making excuses :P)!! I think it was a great story though. :D

-Annon ♥

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Review #32, by LittleWelshGirl99Like A Soda Can: Root Beer: Part II + Dr. Pepper

28th September 2012:

NO! WE WERE GOING TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH! AND THEN…NOO! YOU SMELL :P I still think James fancies her! Or in some weird way, feels threatened by her? Uncomfortable around her, and so needs to reaffirm his…manliness? Okay, that’s a weird theory. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see! ;D

As always, lovely writing. I enjoy reading every word so much!

Poor Alice. When Myrtle is your only friend, you know things are bad. I want to find out more about Albus! I’m definitely intrigued by him. Alice is standing up for herself a bit more though! She held her ground when she was with Grayson (who I now don’t like at all) and Potter (who I have mixed feelings about now but even if he does fancy her he had no right to torture her so much), and ever yelled down the corridor at them when they scarpered! She’s becoming much more confident, and I can see her growing as a character. It’s really awesome. Ok, awesome’s probably the wrong word, but it’s… cool.

Next chapter, here I come!

-Annon ♥

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Review #33, by LittleWelshGirl99Like A Soda Can: Root Beer: Part I

28th September 2012:

Eee, an interesting chapter! I liked the sort of ‘interview’ Alice had with herself at the beginning. It cleared up a few of the questions I had about various things. And then again, the root beer thing! I have a feeling that you’ll be including just about every type of soda there is before this story’s finished!

Hmm…I wonder what James’s real reasons are behind all his teasing of Alice? I mean, there must be some, because if the conversation between him and his friend is true, then James isn’t usually so horrible. Perhaps…maybe he secretly fancies her? OMG that would be an incredible twist. I’ll be so chuffed if I’ve guessed that correctly, haha!

Anyway, ‘Is Potter a monster or is he truly a nice guy?’ I want to know as much as anybody! I can’t wait to find out what’s going to happen next… :D

-Annon ♥

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Review #34, by LittleWelshGirl99Like A Soda Can: Coca-Cola

28th September 2012:
Hey :)

Gah, I am just feeling more and more sorry for Alice! Her sister Raina won’t even speak to her because she thinks she’s too much of a loser? Ouch. That’s gotta hurt. It was an imaginative twist to put in there though!

Crikey, I hate James! He’s god-awful. And a prat. And a bully. And…yeah. I hoped he gets what’s coming to him in the end!

I’m loving all the subtle soda references and analogies that you include throughout this. It adds a really unique flavour and creative twist that’s also really relatable. Plus, it’s a really good analogy, the ‘like a soda can’ one. I often see really awful analogies that make no sense whatsoever, but it’s not the case here.

Wow, what’s Albus so desperate to see her again for? I keep imagining all the possible scenarios that might take place, in which Alice actually tells him her real name. :P

You have a really…sort of…precise writing style, if that makes sense. It’s quite delicate but powerful and the emotion is all there. Really nice! I’m enjoying reading this a lot.

On to the next chapter!!

-Annon ♥

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Review #35, by LittleWelshGirl99Like A Soda Can: Sprite

28th September 2012:

Haha, the idea of a can of Sprite featuring in the Muggle Studies class really made me laugh! Such an everyday object for muggles, and the class is being taught about it. I like the initial way you described it- ‘a cylindrical, shiny object’. And ohmygosh, I wanted to give Alice this ginormous hug when she was given the can as a real, heart-warming gift! Professor Mink seems nice. I’m glad James Potter got what he deserved in that memory (which was a great way to start the chapter, by the way).

I think the memory (being in past tense) made me realise what a flawless present tense you’re writing the story in! It’s really wonderful. Keeping up a present tense is extremely hard to do (for me, anyway! I always slip into past), and it adds such a sense of ‘here and now’ to things. Lovely writing. :D

I like the fact that Alice is friendly with the house elves, and oh! We meet Albus! Or should I say Mr. Alby Potter? I got this weird feeling of satisfaction when Alice called him that, as if she was defying her loser-self. I thought she’d be the sort of person to go all red and babbly around the love of her life, but apparently not :P.

One thing I noticed- if Albus heard Ellie calling her ‘Miss Alice’ then why does he ask her for her name? I love the awesome way she calls herself Sprite though, so I think you should keep that in there. Maybe Ellie could just call her ‘Miss Allie’ or ‘Miss Nicholson’? I don’t know 

Another great chapter!

-Annon ♥

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Review #36, by LittleWelshGirl99Like A Soda Can: Prologue: Alliteration

28th September 2012:
Hi Jordan! ♥ I’m here all the way from QTR-land with some very deserved reviews ;). I’ve been really excited to read your stories, and have been having so much fun stockpiling reviews for you! Now I have to admit, I only realised that you’d abandoned this after reading and reviewing the whole thing! And I was very sad. D: But I’ve decided to post all my reviews anyway.

So this was a brilliant first chapter! I’m really intrigued by this story, and by Alice, poor lonely soul that she seems to be. It’s so sad that she’s crushing on Albus, and his older brother is her tormentor. Gosh. That must be hard; my heart goes out to her for that- but I can see loads of directions this can go in which is exciting!

I love Alice! I feel sorry for her, but at the same time admire her spirit which I can sense a-lurkin’ just underneath the surface. She seems sweet and good-natured, if a tiny bit bitter about her current social situation. But hopefully that will improve!? ;)

It was extremely well written, but with a nice, subtle touch of humour that made it all the more enjoyable. I don’t like stories with all the forced sarcasm and jokes everywhere, and this was just perfect! I particularly like the line ‘I mean no offense to the great witch who battled Bellatrix Lestrange. And lost’. And at frist I was thinking- ‘wow that’s harsh’ but then I was like ‘actually, it’s true! And funny…’ So. Yeah.

Oh, and all the ‘A+A’ angst was fabulous! (especially the “AA” battery idea). Had me in stitches ;D.

I certainly do hope that 5th year will be the answer to Alice’s something-with-a-purpose-makeover calling. Can’t wait to find out!

-Annon ♥

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Review #37, by LittleWelshGirl99Just any other year at hogwarts...: 'You interrupted my gawping time!'

27th September 2012:
Yayy chapter two! Aww, Beth, I love the chapter image you're such a cutie :3
(i still can't get round the pronunciation of niamh by the way :P)
Loved this chapter, and can't wait for chapter three ;D

Author's Response: ahh thanks Nannon xxx

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Review #38, by LittleWelshGirl99Electric Pow-Wow: three.

23rd September 2012:
there's something so refreshing about your writing. i think it's because nothing is ever quite what you expect it to be and that's pretty amazing because even with a purposefully random story you can at least predict that there will be randomness ahead. but this is just incredible; every line makes me gape in awe at the screen :P

"I never remember having seen a person with more hair than you" and "it was easy to imagine that you could be swept up into the air and turn maybe into a giant snowflake"

love those lines in particular :)

(you're very very welcome for the sotm nomination ♥)

Author's Response: I appreciate what you say here immensely. It's always the struggle, isn't it, to be--truly original? I see traces of the cliche in this writing, but I think it's because for me, this was a first real stab at some kind of romance and while I could base some of it off my own personality--the way Astoria processes things is largely me, here--I had to have other sort of plot points to hit. The bar maid being the mysterious and knowledgeable character is an archetype that I unwittingly adhered to, and just the setting of a bar, etc. It's not particularly creative in that way, but I think what you're sort of saying is that it seems--forgive me if this is totally overstepping and not what you mean at all--honest. Real, maybe. I did try to make this seem beautiful (so--thank you! :D), but more importantly, I wanted it to be an honest portrayal. I think when you really write anything earnestly and you're not thinking about--well, "art for art's sake" or things like that--the results can be that people like you like the stories so much :3

THanks again for a fab review!! It's so lovely to see these pop up ♥

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Review #39, by LittleWelshGirl99Cry Out: Drooping Angels

20th September 2012:
hey Eilidh!! this was really good. :O

I haven't read many founders stories but you seem to have captured the essence of that time so well. it's awesome.

I like the interesting POV - it's a really original idea. ANd written really well too! I think you should write osme more founders' era ! Your descriptions are lovely.

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Review #40, by LittleWelshGirl99Electric Pow-Wow: two.

17th September 2012:
Ok. So. I'm going to apologise in advance for how awful my reviews will be for this story lily, but i just can't even /begin/ to think of words eloquent enough to describe how you've written this.

It's completely and utterly mind-bogglingly amazingly amazing.

homgosh the ending for this chapter! i'm in love.

Author's Response: haha don't worry about it, annon! i love your reviews--they express all that you want them to, I think. I'm unsure of whether this is /really/ that amazing, but nothing about literature is objective, so I am very happy that you're enjoying this. This was me determined to write a "love story" or a "romance" which I'd never done before.and which is quite questionable here, actually. But as long as people are getting at least something out of it, then it was all worth it, because I loved writing it myself :) So I can't accept your apology because really there's nothing to be sorry about, or apologize for!! Oh and thank you for the SoTM nomination, made my day ;)

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Review #41, by LittleWelshGirl99Electric Pow-Wow: one.

17th September 2012:
Ahmygod. This is absolutely...

-has literally no words-

Author's Response: ah!! it was so, so lovely to receive this--even no words is a pleasure to see! thanks so much, i'm very glad you're liking it so far!! also thanks for letting me know, i appreciate it :)

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Review #42, by LittleWelshGirl99Sometimes life just sucks...: Graduating 4 times can test your saintliness, unless you’re Dumbledore.

27th August 2012:

This was really good! For a first chapter, it's definitely a brilliant start to your hpff career- assuming there will be one ;D

Scarlett seems interesting. I don't know why but characters with dyed hair always fascinate me- it makes them seem a lot more quirky and 'badass'!! It's such an original idea as well- I sort of want to write it myself and see waht I could come up with :P A girl who hardly ages? It's kind of freaky!

One thing I'd say is that the sentences are all a bit mashed together- I'd shorten them a lot and add more description in. It would add more depth to you writing and characters!

But this was a fab start. I'm glad I stopped by


Author's Response: :O that review...made me just want to smile!!! Thank you so much, and yup i know many grammar mistake and sentances mashed together buttt i have a wonderful Beta now heehee
but thanks so much!

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Review #43, by LittleWelshGirl99How to Organise Strangers and Create Chaos: Job 7: Work Out What's Between James and Me, and Convince Everyone Else It's Nothing

27th August 2012:
I've just realsied how sort of controlling Pepper is O.o I mean, she has this massive list and she's determined to get through it and talking to Lily who's not even related to her and stuff. I reckon that's kind of her flaw; she thinks she can sort out /everything/.

amirite?? Or just a crazy fool? :P

Man, Lily is a MEAN GURL. Hehe, Mean Girls xD Erm, yeah, I really don't like her! She seems to swing from emotion to emotion really quickly too. How odd.

JEPPER. I ship Jepper! ;D Aw that was so cute, although the squeezing-her-bum thing was kind of weird. But it was funny teh way she then chased james round the house for ages :)

*Le sigh* has the *le* because it's just epic.


Author's Response: She is pretty controlling, though I guess I never realised that before since I'm "assertive" too :P I have her down in her character notes as "bit of a wrecking ball" and "tries to sort everything out" so it is her most fatal flaw :P

Of course you're a crazy fool, but why should that mean that you're not right? ;D

Yep Lily is a bit of a witch, and pretty mean with all her moodswings... but she is a lot of fun to write when I'm not mentally throttling her.

JEPPER, cool ship name! There will be more Jepper coming up, honest, but most things in Pepper's life are more than a little weird. And I couldn't resist a chase scene, it's been to long since I wrote the last one ;)

*le* is always tres epic ;)
~Lottie xoxo

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Review #44, by LittleWelshGirl99How to Organise Strangers and Create Chaos: Job 6: Get A Brilliant Evil Plan

27th August 2012:
Yep, the story just gets FUNNIER! Aw, Lottie, I need to PM you sometime about humour writing 8D You've got me in stitches uring moments in this, especially the line 'the conceivers are busy chanting in the living room right now, probably silently co-ordinating toilet trips with the other chanting freaks'


The conceivers. Hahahaha.

I loved the bit in teh middle where you described all Pepper's friends in more detail- I felt like we hadn't really gotten to know them quite as well as I'd like. So that was nice :D

I totally think Pepper should go and buy a cockerel. Like, now. She can call it Annon :P

This was great! I feel all happy after reading it :) Can't wait to read on !!


Author's Response: Aww thankyou Annon!! Hehe it's a bit, er, random and crack-y and undependable so I'm very glad you like it :D And yay for that weird line! I shouldn't be so surprised at the weird stuff I've written when I'm getting into Pepper's head, but I always am.

It's a talent for forgetfulness, man.

Yeah I suddenly got to the middle of the chapter and realised that we didn't know enough about them together and wanted to describe the group dynamic a little more... so I'm glad you liked it :D

OMG. You have given me an interesting plunny there for Job 12 (currently writing) - WATCH THIS SPACE FOR COCKERELS.

I'm so happy that you like it and feel happy and shiz! It's how I feel when I write it so WOOHOO that the feels are being passed on 83 Fankoo for the lovely review!
~Lottie xoxo

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Review #45, by LittleWelshGirl99How to Organise Strangers and Create Chaos: Job 5: Find the Fates and Challenge them on my Destiny of 'Death Before 17'

6th August 2012:

Liking the outnumbered CI by the way! I can't imagine Lolli and Pig as anyone else now :D

Gah I do not like peppers parents. how can they be so unbothered? Grr.



Author's Response: Hehe YAY FOR READING ON AIRPORT WIFI. I'm so glad you liked it :D

Omigosh I had no clue who to use as their faceclaims until I was watching Series 2 of Outnumbered and BAM! it came to me ;)

Man, I hate her parents too. And so does she.

SHE WON'T DIE... yet. Mwahahaha *evil laugh and grin*
~Lottie xoxo

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Review #46, by LittleWelshGirl99How to Organise Strangers and Create Chaos: Job 4: Write Down My Funeral Ideas On Louis' Walls

6th August 2012:
OMG the German bit made me giggle, probably because my class have this massive joke about 'schnell' that is really random and doesn't make sense, but we always burst into laughter whenever our teacher says it much to her confusion :P

Okay, I'm sensing some posisble Peppouis? Louiepper? No? Yes? Maybe? I think that'd be so cute :3 OH WAIT. DOES HUGO FANCY PEPPER? Awww! I think he do-es!

I loved the diea of Fleur giving them all detention, lol ;D They're a silly lot!

'Non, ton suitcase n’est pas ici' I get the impression that you forgot the french word for suitcase? :P Made me laugh.

This was another great chapter!!
Will definitely be getting onto the rest at some point, and I would be reading them now but I have to get a plane :P


Author's Response: Hehe I do love dipping into other languages like the tres classy personage I am ;) And... that does sound random. But I love it still, randomness is the essence of Pepper (or rather, me as I write Pepper and her life).

Hmm maybe... just a tiny bit of Louper ;) Buuut you'll have to wait for more! Louis is, in fact, a complete idiot so. And I hadn't actually thought of that point about Hugo, it might be another good reason for hatred and photo-taking 8O

Ahha yes, Fleur est formidable ;D And, er, of course I didn't forget the word for suitcase!... (okay yes I did) but I'm glad it made you laugh!

EEP THANKYOUUU 8D And Annon, I wish I could reach through to the you during this review and explain that your plane will be delayed... but anyway THANKYOU FOR THE LOVELY REVIEW :D
~Lottie xoxox

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Review #47, by LittleWelshGirl99How to Organise Strangers and Create Chaos: Job 3: Recieve OWLs, Fetch Friends and Recieve Howler

6th August 2012:
Ahh, have I told you how much I love Pepper and her insane-hippie-family? Yes? Well imma say it again :3 She is so epic!

I wish I had blue, wiggling eyebrows. I might dye my eyebrows blue. I'm already planning on dying my hair blue, so I suppose they'd better match :P

Ooh, OWL results! Rose is such a Hermione, of course :) But well done Louis!!


What's Hugo planning to do with all his photos?

This is a really rubbish review. But basically, I just love this, love you, love Pepper etc. etc. (and life goes on) HAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE? :P Ok I just got deja vu...have I done that to you before?!

Oh, on the last list you forgot to actually add 'getting robes' :P


Author's Response: Ahha thankyou my lovely! :D mwahaha you are very good, feeding my ego concerning my random creations ;)

YES, YOU SHOULD DYE YOUR EYEBROWS TO MATCH! Now that would be beyond epic. It was another really random idea for Pepper, but since pretty much everything except for three scenes way ahead in the plot is spontaneous, I shoulda known it'd be very, very random.

I'm glad Pepper wasn't expelled too... and Hugo's plan is very sneaky, and, er, secret! Yes, secret! *nods emphatically*

And Annon I lurve your reviews, they're never rubbish because you're always so lovely and random and YES I LOVE WHAT YOU DID THERE :D (Though I don't think you've ever done that to me before? I think I may have done it you with And Capers Ensue, though)


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Review #48, by LittleWelshGirl99How to Organise Strangers and Create Chaos: Job 2: Stop Matchmaking My Friends

6th August 2012:
So I was reading this on a whim really, because I vaguely remembered reviewing the first chapter aages ago, and I felt like having a look at your humour writing (ok that sounds stalker-ish :P). But homgosh, I have just completely fallen in love with this story! I think I'll marry it too, so we can have a Deep Breaths- HTOS&CC joint wedding (with Matt Lewis and Benedict Cumberbatch there too of course. as...groomsmen?)! :3 :3 :3

Pepper. Is. Amazing. 'A steaming, bikini-wearing, frizzed-up nodding dog' Gah, THE IMAGE. So hilarious!! I love her friendship with Rose, Al and Louis- can't wait till we meet the boys :D.

Simon Head sounds creepy O.o

There's just this amazing, funny, light-hearted element to the story and it's so quirky and unique and awesome! Oh, and the matchmaking thing? You gotta love it ;) Pepper sounds like she'd be good friends with Hollie Parker :P

Oh, and I love all the lists and things Pepper makes! I can totally relate; I have a thing about lists. Always making them. Usually on my iPod :D.



(by the way, you truly are the master of epic names- GreenBee? Shrek? Betty?)

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Review #49, by LittleWelshGirl99Dominique: At a Loss

6th August 2012:
Oh, my gosh! I don't think I've read such a drama-filled first chapter in...well, ever! It was so intense and emotional and packed this massive punch that made me go WHOA. This is amazing.

I'm so surprised that I haven't read this before! I definitely remember seeing it floating around and mentioned on the forums and stuff. Your writing is so flawless- everything flowed smoothly and it was just completely gripping. It definitely leaves me wanting to know more! There was this massive air of mystery and suspense running through this chapter, too, and I'm completely mind-boggled as to how you managed to do it.

I sense a lot of interesting developments will be happening with Lysander...I wonder why DOm seems to find him so infuriating? I like ODm's character as well- the sort of fiery, violent type. Wow, I feel her pain so much in this. It must be awful for her.

As I was reading, I remember thinking that this was a nice sort of 'taster' chapter, giving us a flavour of the story but without overloading us with information and characters. It was sort of prologue-y...but not really. Hmm, that doesn't really make sense, but hopefully you'll understand what I mean :P

Wonderful. Really wonderful.

Author's Response: Intense, yes. I hate writing first chapters - you have to get the balance right between backstory and introduction of characters and everything. It is stressful. I’m glad you think it worked, though.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments, really. It makes me feel so much better about my writing, and about finally finishing the story - which has been going for 32 chapters and for about three years. I love getting reviews like these, especially in the earlier chapters - you really have no clue what is going to happen or what the characters will do.


Dom’s always portrayed as the sassy sister, so I wanted to change that. She’s still confident - but she’s massively stubborn and cynical and aggressive. I hope that got passed on to the readers.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review and for reading!

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Review #50, by LittleWelshGirl99Wilted Petunia: A Winter's Day

4th August 2012:

So this was the cutest first chapter EVER for a Lily and Petunia story. I mean, most of them are staright in with teh angst and tension between the two sisters, but not this. It was lovely!

I like the way you characterised Petunia- she wasn't immediately recognisable as the 'bad guy' or the person who would be causing grief in their relationship. She wasn't as sweet as Lily, but everyone has different personalities nayway and it's not just black and white. It was really refreshing to see and read. Then, of course, Lily was just adorable! I sometimes forget that Petunia is the older sister actually, but I can't imagine it any other way after reading this.

Sometimes paragraphs seem a little rushed- take your time writing! Seriously :) But apart from that this was gorgeous.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you! I just wanted to show that Lily and Petunia didn't always truly hate each other. I mean, obviously, there was a reason; Petunia was jealous of Lily. I've always thought that happens later on when Lily gets her letter.

I'm glad you liked Petunia's characterization. :)

Yeah, I'm working on improving, I'll try to keep my paragraphs from seeming rushed.

Again, thanks for the review!


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