Reading Reviews From Member: sophie_hatter
58 Reviews Found

Review #1, by sophie_hatterAfter We Fall: Chapter Nine

6th December 2012:
Hi there! I don't have much to add, other than I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this chapter, and how pleased I was when I realised you had updated - it really is an excellent story! I hope you manage to keep going with it, because I would love to know where you are going to take Lily and Scorpius next. And... as I think I said before, the world needs more Lily-centred fic:-)

Author's Response: Thank you, sophie! I really do plan to update again soon. And I couldn't agree more... the world does need more Lily fics :)

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Review #2, by sophie_hatterAnd Then There Were Three: A New Beginning and a Promise

19th October 2012:
Wow! A story dedicated to me! I am very, very flattered:-) I know my choice of 'a happy Harry and Ginny story' wasn't an easy one, but you still managed to make it interesting and entertaining, and introduce some tension too.

Obviously, as a Hinny shipper, I loved it! I really enjoyed the sense of the trio plus Ginny hovering on the edge of a precipice as their lives begin to change, this time in such a positive way.

It was really strange to read something of yours and not be able to comment in real time - I kept wanting to right click and highlight all my favourite bits:-) But I think the bit that made me smile most was when Ginny shrugged and said 'Haven't the foggiest' - not only was it humorous, I was very proud of the Britishism:-)

Thank you, thank you, and thank you again:-)

Author's Response: Aww, you're welcome! I was very pleased to be able to do something nice for you after all you've done for me.

You know, writing "happy Harry and Ginny" wasn't really all that hard. I like to think of the two of them as happy. They deserve it. Making it more than just meaningless fluff, on the other hand, well that was a bit more challenging. But I like a challenge.

As I was editing, I was concerned that the first section with Hermione, Ron and his parents didn't really mesh too well with the overall story. But then I started to think of it as setting up this big transition that Ginny and Harry suddenly realize that they're making, and it worked better for me. I'm glad you see it the same way.

Ha! That should be a goal for HPFF 2.0: the ability to highlight and comment inline with the story. It would be brilliant. "Foggiest" is kind of a happy accident, I guess. My grandparents used to say that a lot.

Once again, you're very welcome. It was a joy to write and I'm very, very pleased that you liked it. Thanks for all you do!

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Review #3, by sophie_hatterHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Epilogue

8th August 2012:
So - let's see if I'm quick enough to be reviewer #1 on this, your final chapter of COB! I feel supremely privileged to have been able to help you with the story, and you mustn't give away any credit - it's a truly fabulous story, told with wit, feeling and real craftsmanship. Being your beta through it all was always a pleasure and never a chore, and I always felt terribly lucky to get first peek at what was coming next!

The epilogue is a really fitting conclusion for the story, making it clear just what Harry's real legacy is, and bringing Harry and Ginny back together in a manner that's really touching - you gave them a happy ending, despite all the odds, and that is truly remarkable.

I can't wait to see what else you come up with, but whatever it is, I know it will be a credit to the archives.

Love and best wishes - Sophie x

Author's Response: Thank you, dear. And you deserve every bit of the credit I'm heaping upon you. It's been a pleasure to work with you and I look forward to continuing!

Harry's real legacy, I think, is in the mindset he tried to impart on everyone, especially the students of Hogwarts. It's one of being ready and able to take responsibility and do what's right. And he and Ginny belong together. I've come to believe that more than anything over the past year. Even if it's all in my head. ;)

Thanks again! Until we write again...

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Review #4, by sophie_hatterPick a Poison: One

16th July 2012:
Hello! Here for the BvB review battle:-)

Well, this was an excellent start for me - I love Draco/Astoria! For me, your opening passage was gorgeous. There were some really lovely thoughts expressed, and you painted a very vivid mental image.

I really liked the relationship you constructed between Draco and Astoria - the open, teasingand honest nature of it rang true for me.

Being constructive, some of your sentences meandered a little, and would have benefitted from being broken up. You may not be aware of this, but you also have a slight tendency to switch between the past and present tense.

That said, I loved how you used three very different scenes to show the path that Draco took to get back to social acceptance, and the full circle you showed us - very commendable, and very enjoyable.

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for this lovely review!

I honestly can't help but smile a little every time someone tells me that they like Draco/Astoria. They really are awesome!

I was a little worried about the opening passage actually, that it may seem a little detached from the rest of the chapter. Nonetheless, I'm very happy to hear that you liked it! And I'm also glad you thought I kept the relationship between Draco and Astoria rather believable.

Also, thank you for the CC. I really do need to get back to this story and edit it or have it beta'd because Nano can do wonders. I'll try to keep an eye out for those two things you've pointed out.

Again, thanks for the review! I really do appreciate it!


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Review #5, by sophie_hatterTask One Challenge: Abra Kadabra: mumbo jumbo

13th July 2012:
Hello - just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your house-cup entry. I enjoyed your take on the grown-up Cho with her Muggle husband, and what her life must be like. Great job!

Author's Response: Grown-up Cho seems so much more full of possibility than the Cho we see in canon, and I was excited to explore that. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #6, by sophie_hatterBetween Fire and Water: Fire, Water, and Dust

13th July 2012:
Hello - just a quick note to say that I thought this was a wonderful piece of writing, and a great house cup entry. I hope you are proud of it - you really should be:-)

Author's Response: Thanks! :) I hesitated in posting it, because I hadn't finished it to the extent I wanted to, but seeing everyone else's entries made me go, what the hey? and press the new story button.

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Review #7, by sophie_hatterTask One Challenge: Dragon's Blood: Dragon's Blood

13th July 2012:
Hello, Char - this was a really different and interesting take on the house cup task. I thought the idea of using Cho's relative as the protagonist very clever, and very original. You wove in the prompts really well, and I think you did a great job of delivering an interesting one-shot. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy you found it different :)

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Review #8, by sophie_hatterTask One Challenge: This Too Shall Pass: on love

13th July 2012:
Hello - what a great entry for the house cup! You showed a real journey for Cho, and I loved the way you explored her changing perceptions of love. I also enjoyed redemption for Marietta! Your use of the prompts was clever, and very smooth, and overall, I think you did a great job. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it. :) I enjoyed writing Cho's journey, so I'm glad you liked reading it.

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Review #9, by sophie_hatterTask One Challenge: History in the Making: History in the Making

13th July 2012:
Hello! This was definitely one of the most original entries for the House Cup, and I loved reading it. I thought you used the prompts really well, and it was great to see a minor canon event like the broom race used so effectively. Great job!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that since my stories are usually not very original! Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely review! :)

- MM

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Review #10, by sophie_hatterMagic: it certainly does love you

13th July 2012:
Hello - what beautiful writing! Certainly a worthy house cup entry. Some of the imagery was just stunning, and no-one turns a phrase better than you. Your use of prompts was excellent, and the whoe thing flowed really well. Fab!

Author's Response: Hey!! Thank you so, so much for this review!! It blows my mind how much support this story has garnered over the past few days. Again, Thank you!

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Review #11, by sophie_hatterTask One Challenge : A Dream: A Dream

13th July 2012:
Hello - just wanted to say well done on your house cup entry! I thought you did really well to include all the prompts so seamlessly, and I loved the way you drew a parallel between the way Cho's subconscious picked Cedric's dragon and Hary's method to highlight her conflicted feelings. Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) I'm glad that you liked it

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Review #12, by sophie_hatterReliving: Task One Challenge: Reliving: Task One Challenge

13th July 2012:
Hello! I loved this house cup entry - so many great Ravenclaw stories, so hard to choose! What was great about this was the dry humour you included in amongst the tension: '...didn't have an oven which needed cleaning either.' Genius! Your use of prompts was great too - well done for including them all!

Author's Response: I know, right? We have so many great writers in our house! Haha, I didn't originally intend for that to be funny, but, like so many other things about this story, it seems to have taken on a life of its own.

Thank you for the great review!

Aph xx

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Review #13, by sophie_hatterTask One Challenge: The Runaway: I

13th July 2012:
Hello - just to say I really enjoyed reading your House Cup entry. I thought you did a great job of bringing Cho's dash through the reserve with a dragon on her tail to life - and well done for using all the prompts!

Author's Response: Did you? Thanks, love! It's great because I really enjoyed writing this, so I'm glad you liked reading it - so thanks a bunch for reviewing, and see you around the forums! Ravenclaw for the win!

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Review #14, by sophie_hatterSlay: Dreams, dragons and blood.

12th July 2012:
Hello, love! I thought I would drop you a quick review to say I really enjoyed your House Cup entry. Choosing is so difficult! I thought you used the prompts really well, and you wove them in almost seamlessly - I particularly enjoyed how you got the details of the wand in there! Good job, as always:-)

Sophie x

Author's Response: Awh, thank you very much Sophie Hatter! I had a great time writing this and there's been some incredible entries - it really was difficult to pick which one to vote for. Thanks for the review :)


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Review #15, by sophie_hatterJust Rose: Misguided

9th February 2012:
I love this story, and this was another cracker of a chapter. The family meal was great fun. I love seeing the entire family together, so it was a treat for me. There's something about getting the Hogwart's era characters together with the next gens as adults that I find particularly entertaining.

I thought your dialogue throughout this section was great. It flowed really well, and you depicted different people butting into the conversation very nicely. I was also pleased that Ginny got some lines. I know she isn't universally loved, but she's one of my personal favourites.

I also love that you don't automatically make the entire family sympathetic. This makes your characterisation of Roxanne, Fred particularly interesting, and I love what you've done with Dominique too.

I can't help feeling really sorry for poor Scorpius, though - he really deserves a break:-)

Looking forward to the next update!

Author's Response: I love writing the family together. Their characters are so hilarious to write and then throwing them together is so fun :D

Fanfiction and the films have tainted my view on Ginny, so whenever I write her I try my very hardest not to write her as whiny and annoying. I'm glad you liked her in this :)

Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #16, by sophie_hatterLove, Damned Love, and Statistics: I. The Girl

2nd February 2012:
So, I really enjoyed this chapter. I saw your note about reworking it from a one-shot into a short story, and I never saw it in it's first incarnation, so I'm here fresh.

I loved the concept - James and Fred on a mad-cap scheme, with help from their sensible friend. And I'm a sucker for a romance, especially where friends realise there is more at stake than just friendship, so this was right up my street.

I thought the flow was really good, and as every your dialogue was great (I'm also a fan of Capers, so I knew this would be good:-)).

I think If there was one piece of CC I would make, it's that the pacing was a little off. I would have liked to see a little more framing of James and Ellian's friendship before he started to see her as more than a friend. As it stands, it feels a little rushed.

The acid test of any story is always whether I want to read the next chapter, and in this case, I certainly do. I really enjoyed it, and I'm excited to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you! :) It was really quite the silly (re: completely implausible) concept, but I couldn't help but adore the James I had written in here, so I decided to rewrite it. And another person who's read Capers! :D It's quite interesting, actually, because this was the first next gen that I had written so I got a lot of my next gen characterizations from here.

That always bothered me too. I actually have a separate James and Ellian novella plunny, but I'll probably never get to it D: This oneshot is actually a lot less about their romance as much as it is James being silly James, so i hope the short story as a whole will be a bit better with the flow :) although I ought to finish it...

Thank you! :)

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Review #17, by sophie_hatterLofticries: Disintigration

19th January 2012:
Hi there, Char! I'm here for the BvB battle:-)

So, the heart of darkness in this story was laid bare for all to see! I really liked the way you didn't flinch away from it - it gave your story integrity, even as your characters lost theirs.

You have an excellent descriptive style, especially regarding your characters inner monologues, really putting the reader in the moment. There was some gorgeous, rich language that brought the whole thing alive. More than that, you did it in a way that really brought home the drama of events. I commend you for that.

If I have one criticism to make, it's that the events you chose to explore here crossed such a wide expanse of time. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but I would have appreciated a little bit more lead-in, as I got a bit confused with the time skips sometimes.

I've seen that SeverusLove has already reviewed this chapter for grammar and typos, so I'll skip over the few minor things that I spotted. Technically, there was very little that I noticed anyway.

In all honesty, I wouldn't necessarily have chosen this story to read (I'm more of a fluffy romance kind of a girl:-)), but I really enjoyed it, and I think the best thing about review battles is you get to challenge yourself with really good stories that you wouldn't otherwise have read.

Good job!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you found my boldness in writing this story a plus rather than a minus. I had many a trepidation doing so!

I do get it on the added time in between each scene. I was kind of just belting this out at the time in preparation for Nano and not really outlining it. I can def keep that in mind for any future similar fics.

I'm glad you challenged yourself to read this because you gave me a couple of good points and some solid praise! :) Thanks!

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Review #18, by sophie_hatterAll the Abstract Nouns: Seventeen

17th January 2012:
Hello there! here for the review battle, but must admit I've been hoping your name would pop up at the bottom as I love reading your stuff, and I really enjoyed the first chapter of ATAN.

This was a strong start to the chapter. The idea that it's funny to perform magic on younger siblings when you are just 17 amused me, and Molly seemed to react to this realistically.

There were some lovely sentiments: I liked your distinction between growing upwards and growing up, as well as the beautifully phrased 'The older she became the more she began to realise how young she was.'

I also liked how you depicted Molly working out who she is, and coming to terms with what it means to be an adult. It felt sincere and gave me a really good sense of who she is. The conversations with her friends flowed well, and you did a good job of making me feel how close they all are.

I'm not sure if I'm keen on the idea of chapters that are out of chronological order, but I've seen it work before, and I'm definitely really keen to see what you come up with next!

I thought you had a fair few little typos and grammatical bits in there, but another read though should pick most of them up. Here are some of the picky ones that I spotted:

'the short eleven year olds boy's' - you don't need the apostrophe.

'most of them were boarding on six foot' - should be 'bordering'

'The change in the girl's who she'd shared a dorm with' - again, you don't need the apostrophe.

'anorexia levels we're down' - should be 'were'

'By doubling your chest side' - should be 'size'

You had quite a few very long sentence in there that would have read better broken up more. She says, feeling like a bit of a hypocrite!

And remember that when closing dialogue, you should only finish with a comma if there is more to the sentence to follow, like a dialogue tag. So, "Nah, Molly, you love the arguing," should be "Nah, Molly, you love the arguing."

Overall - good job, and it's a pleasure to break your review duck for the chapter:-)

Author's Response: Hello there Sophie Hatter! Awhh, I'm flattered that you wanted my name to come up and I'm sure glad you got the chance to come and leave me this lovely review.

I had real trouble with this chapter untill it suddenly clicked, and then I wrote it and then I shoved it in the queue after a quick edit. Thanks for pointing all those things out and I'll go edit it and resubmit it in just one second.

I love Molly, so I'm glad you enjoyed her too. Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #19, by sophie_hatterAfter We Fall: Chapter Eight

22nd December 2011:
Ah! I do love a party! Luna's party for Lily was a treat. Very Luna, and a lot of fun. Not sure I like her being 'Aunt' Luna though:-). I thought there was some very nice touches: Ron and Hermione's very in-character interchange on the subject of Barnaby, and James's dreadful girlfriend were fab. The twins were really cute. I loved their relationship, and their big plans.

I thought you dropped two really good bombshells in the chapter, in Scorpius's arrest and Lily's location of Snape. I really like the explanation of the watch as a compass, although I hope you explain how this works further down the line!

If I had one small criticism to offer, I did feel that perhaps Ginny came across as a tiny bit harsh during the confrontation with her daughter. But only a tiny bit!

One small typo that I spotted: 'The reaming adults had moved into the back garden' should be 'the *remaining* adults'

Author's Response: Well, I finally finished cleaning up the chapters (I hope) and once again, thank you for your reviews along the way. The were very helpful. I took your note about the "aunt luna" bit and removed the reference. There are actually plenty of real aunts and uncles in the chapter now that I take another look at it. There is a lot more information down the road about the watch and why it does what it does, but I'm glad you liked its inclusion thus far. As to Ginny's attitude, I agree she was out of line. Though like the watch, I do have bigger plans for her, which will explain her attitude. Hopefully, in the mean time, she comes off as more of an overbearing mother than actually out of character.

Thanks again for all your reviews. I haven't forgotten about your story either and will be returning the favor and hopefully updating this story soon!

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Review #20, by sophie_hatterAfter We Fall: Chapter Seven

22nd December 2011:
Well! After the bombshell on which we closed the last chapter, I loved the way you started this one. The description of the watch was lovely, so vivid I could see it - and the idea of the ticking just creepy enough:-)

The description of Lily's increasing anger when Scorpius stands her up is lovely. You showed us her changing emotion very nicely, and you continued this through to Lily's growing confusion regarding the events that are taking over her life.

The section with Scorpius and Lily at the Potter house is intriguing. You are spinning out little hints and clues at just the right rate. I'm glad that Lily told him to get stuffed when he suggested that she spy on her father - her reaction to this was just right, and explained my one issue with the chapter - why Scorpius would even go there when Harry is stalking his family.

Your closing section with Albus and Lily was also brilliant. I thought that you write the half-heard conversion very cleverly. And I loved the closing line!

Some picky things to finish - we would say 'quarter to twelve' rather than 'quarter-till twelve'

'They weren't even Hogwarts age yet, where they' should be '*were* they'

'I was on by way back from the bathroom' should be '...on *my* way back...'

And a super-picky one for you. The story is set in London, in summer. You described the final conversation happening just after 4 am as being hours before the sun would come up. But we have really long days here in high summer - sunrise is about 4:30. Sorry! I'm such a geek!:-)

Author's Response: Starting off with the mistakes, I think I got them all fixed. That was a good note about the sun. Of course it would rise early in the summer. A big DUH! on me. As to the rest, it's funny you always seem to pick up on things I've either cut or added later. The watch was a late add, and the point about why Scorpius would come to the house is a keen one. Him coming to her for help at night was a scene stolen from my old story when Harry wasn't following the family. If he hadn't wanted her to spy for him, you're right, that would have been a big hole in the scene.

I'm extra excited that you liked the last scene of the chapter. I'm inclined to think that was the best I've written thus far. Not *great* of course, just my best showing.

Thanks again for the R & R. You always have such helpful comments!

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Review #21, by sophie_hatterAfter We Fall: Chapter Six

22nd December 2011:
Great start to this chapter - the decision to write about Lily's telling off from her parents in abstract was a good one. It carried the story forward without dwelling. And I thought it was brilliant to have Albus neglect to change his shirt - very 'teenage boy!'

The incident with the potions was nicely realised. I like the feeling that Grimmauld Place is fighting back. And I loved Lily's revenge on Al with her smelly clothes.

I *think* you might have edited the section with the pumpkin juice prank since I first read this chapter, and it does work much better for your edits. If you haven't, I have no idea what story I'm thinking about!

The section with Lily in the locked room was fascinating - I love how the mystery is unravelling. I do hope we find out why the room revealed itself to Lily at this time, though.

I saw from your note you were worried about the length of this chapter. I don't think you should be at all! I felt it read well from start to finish, and there was plenty of content to engage the reader. But then, my chapters always seem to come out this long, so maybe I'm biased:-)

And finally, one tiny bit of Britpicking - Trash bin should be rubbish bin.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you mentioned that the opening worked well. I did actually write out the whole argument but decided to cut it in the end. I thought it was important to keep pushing the time line forward as the story doesn't move particularly fast chapter to chapter. And I did edit the bit with the juice, though I've edited each chapter so much now I can't remember how many versions I actually posted. If you did read an older version, I'm certainly glad this one is better! As to the room, I have in my head that *everything* ties together in the end...assuming I can actually get to writing again!

Thanks again for the review. I've gone ahead and fixed the trash/rubbish bit.

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Review #22, by sophie_hatterAfter We Fall: Chapter Five

22nd December 2011:
Hello! I'm back as promised, sorry for the break in transmission.

This is another great chapter. The interaction between Lily and Al that opens the chapter plays out very well., and I absolutely loved the description of Scorpius's letter, including the magic that guided Lily to him. It was beautifully described.

I also enjoyed Scorpius and Lily in this chapter. The layers of complexity you've given their relationship are slowly being peeled back, and the spikiness between them that can't quite hide their affection is excellent. Lily's uncertainty about him, and about her own feelings also comes through well.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this. I just picked up one little typo: 'which was a lot more complicated than Lily would of thought' should be '...than Lily would *have* thought.'

Author's Response: First off, sorry for taking so long to reply. I've been neglecting my account page a bit over the past few weeks. Second, thanks for pointing out the typo. I've gone ahead and fixed it. That all said, thank you for another thoughtful review. I'm so glad you liked the bit with the letter. I went back and forth on it for a long time. I'm also glad to hear their relationship is unfolding well. It's meant to be layered (with their checkered past) but also at the same time, it's just two teenagers who really like each other.

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Review #23, by sophie_hatterMuggle Studies: On Your Bike, Sir

14th December 2011:
Yay! Chapter 2! And I loved it! It's another winner and it's great to meet the 6th years.

I love the idea of getting the students to watch films. Although I think since some of those films are 'girls' films, I think you could get even more humour out of a middle aged wizard loving them:-)

The teletubbies reference was great though, and worked really well, and idea of Dom using fake ID on Penrose was genius!

Penrose is also on form. I loved him being proud of the flamingo pen, and impressed with his co-ordinated 4th years.

And finally, I know you said this wasn't edited, but here's some picky stuff:

I would prefer 'something of which Archibald Penrose was acutely aware' as a sentence structure.

Best line - 'not after the incident with the space hopper'

'Dom was sporting a pair of elf ears jauntily place on her head' is missing a 'd'#

'His entire 4th year group had filed in the subject line' should be 'filled in'

'My parent's decided to get divorced' doesn't need the apostrophe

Author's Response: Ahha, there were a few more girly films in there... but you're not allowed to reference Disney films (which is gutting) so I had to take a big wad of the films out. Good old Archie, with his chick flicks.

So, we've now heard a little about his 6th, 4th and 3rd years.. whos next?

Thanks for pointing thoes things out! I'll be editing shortly and changing that. Cheerss :D

And thanks for reviewing!


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Review #24, by sophie_hatterHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Remembrance of Things Past

9th December 2011:
Ooh, Tenabra is marvellous in this chapter! I loved the insight into Herodonthus, too.

Harry was so true to type in the hospital/car journey scenes, but Susan was superb. She's my newest heroine:-) And I thought the reference to Neville's suspicions about the cloak was spot on.

Hermys was very well written - curious and interesting.

The description of Ron, Harry and Hermione moving about in the memory were great. I loved how they moved backwards and forwards though it, and I was pleased that Ron was driving. And the concept of Advanced Memory Training is a great one.

And I thought that you nailed Hermione's emotion in the end - when she cries and shouts it's just perfect, as is Ron's reaction to her. Good job:-)

Author's Response: The end of the road, for now...

Tenabra is a very complex, involved villain. I think of her as being a lot like Dr. Moriarity of Sherlock Holmes fame: intelligent, sophisticated, well-read, completely justified in her own mind and utterly devoid of qualms about what she's doing.

The elves have many interesting powers of insight. Hopefully the information will serve Harry and Ron well.

Memories were one of the greatest concepts that JKR came up with. The Prince's Tale in Deathly Hallows was a mesmerizing read. So many questions answered. I was very happy to be able to use the idea in at least a small way.

Thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #25, by sophie_hatterHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: The Injuries We Canít See

9th December 2011:
I think this is a particularly strong chapter.

Tenabra gets scarier, Hermione starts to screw her head back on, Harry gets feisty, Artie gets some action (hopefully:-)), and the firefight is brilliant.

Ron and Percy felt very natural, the section with Harry and Lily is very touching, and I'm glad that Percy came good in the end.

And as for your lovely Author's note - you're very welcome, it's my pleasure:-)

Author's Response: I can't give you enough credit in general, but this chapter was one where I would have been particularly lost without you.

As I've said in a few chapters, Tenabra is the anti-Harry. She's 100% in this for herself; nobody else matters to her. She's ruthless, unscrupulous and she doesn't care who gets hurt. I wonder what could have made her this way? ;-)

Poor Hermione is starting to pull it together. She's been through a lot, and it just felt like it was time for her to begin to heal. I hope the timing feels right to the readers.

Thanks for reviewing!

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