Wow! I love your story and i spent most of the day reading the whole thing! It's so addictive!
I think you've done an amazing job of creating a story with real meaning and a really well thought out plot and I really like your character Coco, she's so believable and has gone through something that so many people have to go through in life. It really shows how bullying or even the smallest of comments can affect or damaged some one's life.
Also your other characters are so believable too! Coco and Dom's friendship is so cute and three boys are so funny, especially Tyson with his perfectionist hair and his happy go lucky attitude, he really reminds me of an old friend of mine.
Sometimes in some of the stories on here long conversations between the main characters can get boring but the long conversations between the five best friends never become dull, i love all the banter and jokes between them all, it's so funny!
Now on to some of your questions. I thought Wyatt sitting next to Roxy was very sweet and i have the feeling that maybe they like each other, i also hope that Coco and Dom become friends with her.
Coco not sitting in the great hall was totally understandable and her chat with McGonagall was interesting but i did wish that she had told her the truth about what happened and why she left Hogwarts, i think that McGonagall will find out eventually. Maybe she did overreact at bit with Chaise but she probably had every right too especially after what happened in the great hall and Chaise hasn't been there for her as much as Dom and the other guys.
Scorpius was really sweet though and i really want to know why Al was looking uncomfortable when James was in the entrance Hall. This also brings me onto a few questions i have about James. I think that Coco has got it wrong in thinking that James had something to do with Madison and Elise's evil prank in the great hall and I actually believe he is sorry. I also think that it was either James or Roxy that ratted them out to McGonagall. Also back in chapter 14 why was Tyson so interested to know about Rose and Aidan kissing and then why did he get all uncomfortable when Dom asked why? That did seem a little bit odd. I guess i will just have to wait until the next chapter to find out.
Sorry this has turned into such a long review i guess i just had a lot to say and i've probably missed a few things out too!
Anyway I can't wait to read you next chapter! It is such a great story! :)
NRAuthor's Response: So basically, after reading your review, I felt so totally flattered, that I reread it about three times and then just let it soak in. Like seriously, this was such a nice review!
I'm so happy you find the plot and Coco and the rest of the characters believable. Seriously, this was probably the part that flattered me the most. I actually put a lot of myself into Coco when I write her. Her habits, the things she says, the struggles she's gone through, are all things that have happened to me. I have a best friend just like Dom, and three best guy friends just like Ty, Chaise, and Wyatt. And I'm even in a fight with one of them for similar reasons that Coco is mad at Chaise. So the fact that you like them, just makes me so pleased that I did them justice.
I'm happy you like the dialogue! It's my favorite part about chapters to write. And I tend to get a bit carried away because I never want the conversation to end, so I'm happy they don't bore you!
Wyatt sitting by Roxy... That was my favorite part of the chapter to be honest. Roxy will definitely be present in the next chapter, so there will be more of her :)
Coco avoiding the Great Hall is something I felt she would do... mostly because I would do it.. And her conversation with McGonagall definitely could've gone a different way, but I think it's just important for Corinne to acknowledge that maybe telling McGonagall wouldn't really change anything for her. She's already been stuck on the past enough for the both of them, to willingly bring it up now. And yeah I think Coco was definitely justified in her actions, but she probably doesn't know the whole story...
I'm glad you like Scorp! I love him too, he's such a lovable guy. Al looking uncomfortable will be explained in a later chapter.. not sure which one.. but it will be explained, as will everything else that has yet to be explained (including chapter 14). I have a lot of stuff planned for the later chapters that'll get a bunch of things resolved so that I can wrap this story up into 30-ish chapters, since I don't want to draw it out too much.
Don't apologize for leaving a long review! I will never hate a review for the length, that is just silly. I love knowing your thoughts and this review was lovely to read :)
Thank you so much!
First of all it's another great chapter and i really enjoyed it!
Secondly don't worry i don't think anyone will kill you for giving Al a girl friend, it seems to be the start of another interesting story line and i'm also very intrigued to see what you have in store for Rose and Scorpius. It's a really cool idea to link up stories, I'll look forward to reading them too!
I loved all the comic moments especially the way the chapter ended, face in food :D and i think James was trying to introduce her as his girl friend and i hope that in the next chapter Cammie will finally hear that, let's hope she doesn't get distracted again, lol. I'm not sure whats going to happen next but I'd like to see a chapter with more of just Cammie and James (maybe somewhere quiet so she can hear him use the word girlfriend) maybe with a little bit of family drama on the side or a little comedy from Fredie :)
There was a little bit of ranting but i see that as Cammie's style she's just can't relax but who could relax in her situation - a large dinner with the Potter family, plus a few embarrassing moments.
hmmm... is the next POV going to be James I wonder?
Sorry i'm probably rambling on a bit too now but hope this review has been good or helpful and i also wanted to say thanks for checking out my own story and reviewing last week, its really cool when you read some ones well written story and they then check out yours, so thanks again :)
Also hope you get past your writers block cus writer block is the worst.
NRAuthor's Response: Thanks!!
Some people don't really like the idea, so I'm glad you don't mind. Hopefully it will be, I'm having to change the plot in my head a little to get it to fit with my Rose/Scorpius. Same, that's really why I've done it, I've read it in others and thought that it was a great idea. :D
Thanks!! I'm afraid I can't tell you if you're right or not, but I think you'll find out after the POV's. I know it's quite a long way away, but the POV's are different so it's actually not that long in Cam's day. They are definitely going to go somewhere quiet as soon as I figure out where, and how can we have the day continue without a bit of Wotter drama?! XD
I know... quite a few people have picked up on that. I would use the excuse that she can't relax and is stressed, but I know there was far to much of it. I'm still trying to find a balance in my writing, so hopefully the next chapter will be less ranting.
Nope, guess again. He is one of the POV's though. :)
Naww don't worry, it's great to hear what you think. I must remember to read the updates of your story. And don't worry about it. it's exactly the same for me :)
Same here, I am... slowly...
Thank you so much for reviewing!! xx Report Review
Another great chapter!
I think your way of writing it a bit different has worked well for this chapter. Reading it is a bit chaotic when the parts switch between Arianna's bit and Al and Scorps bit, but it suits the whole chaotic mess which is the loose attacking lumps so i think it really suits the chapter and is an original idea!
I also really like the way James dealt with the whole lumps situation, he guessed straight away that it had to be the aftermath of something Al and Scorp did.
Looking forward to the next chapter! :)
NRAuthor's Response: That you, I'm glad you liked it! ^_^
Well, the thing with the flashbacks and the other parts switching was that I didn't want to put a big chunk of a flashback somewhere in the chapter, so that's why I wrote it the way it ended up as, and I hope it worked better like that. And haha, I'm glad the idea was original, lol :P
Yeah, James has kind of this has-to-save-the-world-from-exploding kinda role in this story, because of Al and Scorp's accident prone...ness(?), doesn't he?
I'm almost... quarter/half-ish done with the next chapter and I'm hoping to get it finished in the next fortnight or so and, hm... I can say it'll be explosive, hehe. I'm hoping to get the real big action stuff started in that one.
All in all, I'm so happy that you took the time to read and review this, so thank you so much! ^_^ Report Review
This is a lovely first Chapter! And it wasn't boring at all!
And the letter from Ginny was funny and sweet, a typical mum letter.
I'm looking forward to your next chapter :)
NRAuthor's Response: Thank you! I really appreciate it. I am working on the next chapter for now. :)
-HeyPotterhead Report Review
This is really Great and well written.
I really liked the bit at the beginning when Rose has to lie about what she was daydreaming about, it really made me laugh :)
I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
NRAuthor's Response: Thank you very much for the review! And I'm glad you liked it :)
The next chapter is up now :) Report Review
This is a great story! And wow what an ending to this chapter! I was on the edge of my seat! :)
Also the part in the muggle studies class was so funny, with Fabian asking out all of Rose's cousins until he got the courage to ask her out properly and then the bit with their crazy teacher, i genuinely thought he was angry at them.
I can't wait for the next chapter; I need to know if Scorpius is alright!
NR :)Author's Response: Aw thank you! I do love my cliffies :p
Hehe I'm glad you found it funny! Professor Wright is creepy.
Thanks for taking the time to review :) Report Review
Hey this is a lovely start to your story! :)
I think your idea for the head boy, head girl and prefects to live in their own special tower is really great and original!
I also really like the way you show the tension between Scorpius and Rose, then Elijah and Rose. Is there going to be a sort of triangle situation in the future, I can't wait for the next chapter and I will look forward to reading it!
NR Report Review
Hey i think that you have made a really good start, and i think you have set out the beginning of a good mystery.
Do you have anyone to read through your chapters before you post, because my one piece of advice would be to get someone to read through and check your chapter. I have a close friend check my work because I'm not the best speller and i often use too many commas.
I'll look out for your next chapter :)
NRAuthor's Response: Thanks a bunch! And no, I don't. I trust myself and Word... although, on another site, lots of people said I have spelling mistakes. Unless they're talking about the names (Syrpha Sharpe and Arlis Alcoyte XD), I don't see any. *huh...*
Anyway, thanks. It might be a mystery, it might not! :D Report Review
I really loved the part where Althea has to really drag Rose to the hospital wing, had me laughing so much. I also love the way she managed to make the quidditch team even though she doesn't know how she did it.
It will also be interesting to see what happens between Althea and Albus or Althea and James, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter! :)
Also really want a Pygmy Puff too!
RNAuthor's Response: Hahah, thank you!!! I'm so glad I made you laugh! Rose is a stubborn one :/ she likes things her way. Althea is quite the opposite I would think. She doesn't need things her way. You know what they say! Opposites attract!
She just may be a natural! Natural Quidditch player!
Don't worry, moments with the two will not be far in the future ;) thank you for the lovely review!!
I will update ASAP!
WhatAboutRegulus Report Review
Really great chapter! I love Freddie he's so funny :) and I really like the tension between Cammie and James it's like they are either arguing or getting it on, really funny but realistic too!
I also like the way you've created a next generation fanfic that's after the characters have been to Hogwarts.
Really looking forward to the next chapter and excited to see where the story goes next :)
-NRAuthor's Response: Thanx!! XD
I wanted to do something a little different, so I chose do it out of school. I think it makes everything more interesting. I want to do another story outside of Hogwarts, but I'm only just getting idea's so it'll take a while till I post it.
Hopefully the next chapter should be up in a couple of weeks. It just depends on when I finish it really.
Thank you so much for reviewing!! xx Report Review
Really great chapter! I loved the part in the library, very funny. I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review!
Really? I'm glad, I had quite a lot of fun writing that.
Chapter 2 is about 85% done, hopefully will be up soonish, though I make no promises. :P
Thank you! ^_^ Report Review
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