OMG HE PROPOSED. Cissy is now second best AND I SHIP TED/ANDROMEDA.
That's really mean. How could you? :P
Another great snapshot, I love the letters under the floorboards - so romantic- and the imagery with the collector's porcelain doll was amazing. :D
You portrayed Andromeda's emotions particularly well, and this is another fantastic chapter, well done! :DAuthor's Response: YEAH HE DID. Haha sorry. Is "necessary part of the plot" an acceptable excuse or no? ;)
I know! Ted and Andromeda are kind of adorable. And I'm so glad you liked that line - that was kind of my favorite part of the chapter to write :D
Thank you thank you! So glad you enjoyed it (: Report Review
Oh dear lord, I'm in love already. I haven't felt this away about a fanfic since. who am I kidding? I've never felt this way! This is amazing, although I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. It's a Marauders, that's well-written and doesn't seem to be shaping up with any cliches... cor, what isn't to adore?
I was going to read the sequel to this, and then I realised it was a sequel, so I popped on down and I'm so glad that I did, this is fantastic. I'm most definitely in love.
Your characterisations are superb, I love the dialogue, you've nicely inserted the threat of old mouldy Voldy, and this is so well-written, my jaw is on the floor. Seriously, amazing. The bit about Peter being good at concealment? Oh, that was genius and the reception of James in the dorm- that was priceless. And, I really hope you've done the wedding... that sounds really awesome.
I think I should shut up now. I've got some ironing to do, but I swear on Merlin's knickers I'll be back.
-Jenny.Author's Response: Oh my god, Jenny, your reviews have made my LIFE. :D I'm so excited that you're loving the story! You're too nice, really. You'll have to be careful or this is all going to go to my head!
I'm thrilled to hear you like the characterizations and dialogue. I love characters; they're what drives me as a writer, so I always feel especially proud whenever someone says I've done well with them.
And what's a Marauders story without some Voldemort and Peter, right? Well...wait. I guess that's not always the case. :P But I don't see why people DON'T include them, because they're really the key to the poignancy of the whole story. I totally think Peter would have a talent for sneaking around unnoticed, based both on his Animagus form and on the obvious sneaking-around-unnoticed that he did as a spy.
I suppose it's not spoiling much to say that the wedding is included in a later chapter. :) I hope you like it when you get there!
Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing. I have a feeling that your compliments are going to sustain me for ages. :D Report Review
This was a really touching beautiful piece about George, and I liked it a lot, it's bursting with emotion and a very well-written piece. Report Review
Hey! So, I saw your review and meandered over here- I have to say, I really do love this story, I mean, there's action, death, destruction, it's like Christmas! Plus, it's wonderfully written.
You characterized Ash so perfectly, I felt like I really knew her. While Albus didn't get the same treatment, it didn't really matter as the story was focused on Ash's guilt and her job. I particularly loved the powerful bit about her first kiss being a corpse, and I thought she was incredibly brave to end her life instead of Albus'- although I might have ended it differently, you have a fantastic story here, and I really really enjoyed it. Well done!
- JennyAuthor's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for meandering over. I really appreciate it, because, you know, each new review makes me jump for joy. Literally.
Thank you. I worked really hard on Ash's characterization. And yes, Albus really wasn't so well described, but I felt if I focused more on him, I would lose my touch with Ash...does that make any sense? Its just that they were two very vastly different characters, and I didn't want this to be comparitive, in a way...
That kissing the corpse scene was creepy, i'll tell you that. I still can't believe I actually wrote it. It was actually inspired by a dream I had. Not a good night's sleep, after that nightmare, I can assure you.
Thanks again for your lovely review, it made my entire week. :)
PS. If you get time, check out my other story, Serendipity? I'd love some feedback. Also, when are you updating HAT? I wanna know what happens after their fight. ;)
Oh wow, I'm adoring this story! Why does Lucius want to dance with Andromeda?
Again, you characterised Narcissa really well, I thoroughly enjoyed her POV. I liked her fantasies, it showed depth to her- although she's pretty shallow. I also thought what she thought Bella was doing was pretty funny :)
Another fantastic chapter, look out for the results soon! :)Author's Response: Thank you thank you! You can't see, but I'm doing my happy dance ;D And you will definitely find out more about Lucius' interest in Andromeda later, don't worry.
Writing Narcissa was so fun! It's kind of nice to write a character who's that simple-minded and sort of straightforward, you know?
Thanks again for all the reviews! :D I really enjoyed this challenge - it was a very original idea - and it inspired me quite a bit. So thanks for that too! (: Report Review
oooh, another pretty awesome chapter! Again, despite it being so short, I really [i]got[/i] Bellatrix, I felt like I understood her.
Your writing style is really very good, and you've got the dialogue down to a T as well. It's short, sharp and snappy, very suited to a gaggle of Death Eaters. I liked to see Bella's view of her sisters as well, and I'm hoping the next chapter will be Narcissa's POV :)
Awesome so far!Author's Response: All of the chapters are quite short, but sort of intentionally? I'm actually quite awful at writing chaptered stories so I wanted to attempt one that I could feasibly finish, and I think the brief snapshots into their lives thing works well. I'm glad you liked this chapter, because I was really quite nervous about the aspiring Death Eaters' interactions. Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Wow, the opening sentence and the title are so different, to your story, but they really fit very well. I enjoyed this brief glimpse into Andromeda's life, and her illicit romance with Ted.
The imagery, especially at the start with the hair- that was superb, and although it was short, I think you captured the essence of their relationship really well.
Well done!Author's Response: You have officially made my day. First three lovely reviews on this story and then you posted the results for the challenge...you are amazing (: Thank you.
Yeah, I had a hard time trying to fit them in because the style of the actual Black Beauty is quite different from my style :o But I'm glad you think it fit well. And writing Ted and Andromeda was just a blast. Thanks again for the review! Report Review
*challenge-master sneaks in*
Albus and Rose! Yay! I liked seeing them, and I'm looking forward to seeing how you're going to bring the four of them together. 'quartet' :P
This was a sweet chapter. I haven't read very many things about first years- mainly because I was a pain at eleven and I don't particularly want to read about annoying children. However, this is a pleasant surprise, and I really liked how you're describing them. They're shy, they're not good at magic, they're all a little unsure, even Rose and Albus, which I particularly like. Characterisations are definitely something you excel at :)
Well done, this is another great chapter! :DAuthor's Response: It's going to be tough, unfortunately they are actually good kids and won't settle for a detention together -.- Still, it's going to be fun, not to mention interesting!
Ohmygosh, I was a pain at eleven, and even more at twelve :p Still, I always kind of find it a little adorable to be reading stories like this - first years. Everyone's unsure, let's face it :D Poor wizards, their confusion's about magic, at least we've got normal stuff. Anyway, enough rambling, thanks again, Jenny!
I love characters, they're so squishable even if some are jerks :) See you around, Jenny, and thanks for another lovely review! Report Review
This was quite short, but I really liked it. Lily had a strong character, and you explained her motives to going into the Pensive fairly well. I liked the backwards thing- starting with the detention. I would have liked to know a bit more about the memory- whose it was, exactly what was happening, how it got to the Pensive.
Thanks for writing for my challenge, I really liked this short story :)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! :D
About the memory, (whose it was, etc.) my angle on that was that Lily didn't really know that either, she just knew that she was looking for the Pensive and she knew what it did. She kind of figured out what was going on as she went along. Report Review
It's great that you've already introduced a suspect, it's keeping the readers interested. It was nice to see some more character development of both Dom and Teddy, and the explanations of the murderer is very intriguing. Nice description and the piece flows really well, I'm really enjoying this.
You've got a really strong story here, I hope you keep it up! :)Author's Response: *plays challenge-master soundtrack*
I hope it didn't seem too rushed, but the village is really small and it's a short story so... I'm glad it keeps you in! It's really a great thing that you're liking the characters and plot, hope the rest will leave up to it!
I'm polishing the next chapter, hopefully you'll get to read it :)
_val Report Review
Wow, I really like this. Mystery and murder and bodies... it seems all very intriguing. And a male!Dom, wow, you've got it all!
I liked how you incorporated the first line into Dom's family, and how you built up his character through the interaction with the hit wizard. The description is great so far, and I'm really looking forward to reading more of the mystery :)
Thanks for the entry into my challenge!Author's Response: *bows at challenge-master*
I'm so happy you're liking this, it's something different from usual here but I love writing it.
I'm glad the frist line didn't seem too pushed into the story. I hope you'll like the rest of the story!
Thanks for making this challenge :)
_val Report Review
Hey! This was a great entry, I really enjoyed it. I love Pride and Prejudice, and the angle you put on it, with Keira and Hugo Weasley was fantastic. I loved the rant Hugo had in the middle, it really was eye-opening.
The formal language you wrote in was of course not really with the times, but you did it so brilliantly I think it added to the piece.
Well done on a superbly awesome entry!Author's Response: im so glad that you liked it!
yeah, Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book so i tried to do it some justice.
thanks so much for ur awesome review! (: Report Review
Wow, this was a very complex piece, filled with imagery and you did it incredibly well. The church was amazingly depicted, and I loved how you integrated the 'going in because of her feet' first line, I loved the sense of inevitability that was portrayed throughout the story.
There was a few typos, and I would have liked to see a little more character development- it seemed a lot of the story was just imagery. I would have liked to have seen why she ended up in a russian church, etc.
Thanks for the entry, this is a beautifully written piece.Author's Response: I'm really pleased you thought it was integrated, i was worried that it would just stick out like a sore thumb! Thank you so much for your compliment!
I had a worry that the story behind it wouldn't quite make sense to people or that it would tie in together in the end and it looks like it's been lost with you! ;( I'm definitely going to be going back soon and trying to clear that up so that the ending and the story is clearer :D
Thanks so much for giving this challenge though as it was a lot of fun to write and explore!! Report Review
DID YOU TELL ME THE NEXT CHAPTER WAS OUT? DID YOU? HUH?
I ship so much here. Louis/Ciaran... god, the thought of them ruling the world is TERRIFYING. It's not just their plans and plots, its the influence they have over people to make them do what they want. It's horribly freaky. I love that Ciaran was so nervous about asking out Louis, and all Louis did was laugh!
And finally, WOOP. Jack/Lucy. COME ON, KISS. I really hope Jack manages to talk some sense into the girl, and I'm glad Ciaran helped them both :) ...maybe he is nice after all? ...nope, no, he's not.
Another awesome chapter, Sammy-girl!Author's Response: I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU! ;(
They would be scary if they ruled the world together, very scary. But I have faith Louis wouldn't want that. Ciaran on the other hand... ;)
HAHA. THEY ARE. You just can't see it because Ciaran can't see it. :P
He has his moments, he'll continue to have his moments, but generally, he's not a very good boy. :P
Sam. Report Review
THEY ALL DIED? MIKE! Y U SO MEAN?
And best line EVER: 'That's not walking, that's falling' ahahahahaha!
Your description is amazing, I loved the way you described the setting, and the dialogue was great too ;) It flowed beautifully and NOW TEDDY HAS TO STAY THERE FOR TWO YEARS? ZOMG. What are you plotting, Mike? *narrows eyes*
Still, awesome! :)Author's Response: I DUNNO. IT'S A PLOT ELEMENT. ;)
:D I can write some humor, not much.
Aha! You make me blush, thanks Jenny. :p Ahhh flow, I'm actually getting it RIGHT for once. MAYBE. MAYBE NOT. THE WORLD SHALL NEVER KNOW... Well They'll know when I write it. :D I'm plotting lots of things Hehehehe. *evil laugh*
Woo thanks! :D Now I gotta review your story cause I feel like I have to. :p
Mike. Report Review
Poor Lex, you told him he was going to Adam's, and then had to go to the Ministry instead. Also, GOOD LORD. That child is the devil, I swear. Ringing up the comic book store?
Harry is exactly how I imagine an older Harry to be- fun, but firm, and so caring. Every word practically oozes love and concern.
Interesting bit about Ginny and Theo- would LOVE to hear more about that, and also, need more Adam. He was CRUCIAL to the case! I love him!
Theo is so well rounded and perfect, I love his subtle humour and caring parenting and beautiful face- you write all kinds of love brilliantly, Sam.
Awesome. I love it.Author's Response: Theo said he would go to Adam's, he never said when. He's sneaky. :P They both are, Alexei got Adam's number off his dad's phone... ;)
That is how I see Harry. Harry is, like, the only Trio character I can write well without worrying. And you will know more about about Theo and Ginny's relationship, I promise.
Adam is not going anywhere. He's crucial and he's staying, that I also promise.
And we all love Theo. I want to hug Theo. In fact, I'm going to... *hugs Theo* :D
Thank you, Jenny!
Sam. Report Review
Hey Amy! This was lovely! You really showed Neville's emotions well, and I liked the way you contrasted Neville and Luna. The start was sad, hearing how Neville is always beaten down, but how that turned to Neville promising to stand up for Hogwarts was really touching.
I really liked this short piece, it was lovely and touching. NEVILLE IS THE GRYFFIE CHAMPION!
- JennyAuthor's Response: Jenny! Neville is the Gryffie champion! I'm glad you liked it!! Thank you for the review!!! Report Review
THE FEELS! Oh gosh, SMA! This is by far the most amazing chapter yet.
I hated and loved the dream, it was so so sad, and him 'seeing' Louis and then having to wake up and it all to be black- it was heart-wrenching. One of my biggest phobias is to be blind, did I ever tell you?
Secondly, the waking-up scene was unbelievably cute, I loved it so so so much. Louis saying Ciaran's name in his sleep was beautiful, and I'm so glad my Louis is with Ciaran instead of being in Azkaban :) And then after that, with all the cousins teasing and everything- it was the most comfortable, effortless piece, it just felt so natural and family-ish. I especially liked Hugo's lines about James :P
And then, we've got Lucy and Jack- you don't like anything to be simple, do you? Poor Jack, and poor Lucy- she must be mad or something to hurt cute little Jackson.
And after that, you go and make us all think that Louis is sleeping around! :( Not happy, Sam. Let your characters have fun, and frolic in meadows and stuff! So sadd, and Ciaran was so unbelievably adorable- I can see why Roxy doesn't want to give up.
I love it, I love it, even though you sometimes make me sad :( Amazing!
- JennyAuthor's Response: The most amazing chapter yet? Really? :O
I know, I was sad when I wrote the dream. Poor Ciaran, knowing he won't see again after it. But did you pay attention to what was in the dream...?
Louis saying Ciaran's name is an aww moment. And I am so very glad your Louis is with Ciaran and not in Azkaban, too. Otherwise I'd be very sad.
I've explained Jack and Lucy. It'll clear up, all will be fine. I promise. But, no. Who wants simple? :P
You weren't supposed to think he was sleeping around, you were supposed to think he was moving on. He and Ciaran aren't even together yet, despite Ciaran's efforts to try.
I'm glad you love it, twice, and I'm sorry I make you sad. I'll fix it. It gets better. :)
Sam. Report Review
OMG OMG OMG YAY!
Yeah, so I'm not patient, but I did pick the title! :D And then forgot it a couple of times, so well done for remembering :P
"I really should have introduced him in first year," she sighs, shaking her head. That would be best if she wants to talk to me about him. I think I love Louis' narration more than Ciaran, if that is even possible. He is so funny! I loved everything about this chapter, from Louis referring to Ciaran as Bright Eyes to him looking at his bum, to Lucy being lovely and wow, Sam, you've completely surpassed yourself! I'd also almost forgotten how good you are at description, after reading so much of Ciaran. Oooh, on a similar note, can we see Louis paint? Preferably paint Ciaran? TA.
It's amazing, and I really want to hear more from Louis soon. Please! And Lucy! And Jack also!
Thanks for posting it! ;)
- JennyAuthor's Response: I love that you're not patient. When people push for more, I actually write. I love it! :D
I did not think that was possible, but yay. I think. There will be a chapter where Louis is painting. What will it be? You'll have to wait and see... ;)
The next chapter will be Jack's POV. :)
Thank you for the title and for reviewing. Love you, too, Jenny.
Sam. Report Review
This is a very original and wonderful story. I really enjoyed it, and then that twist at the end- cor! I didn't expect them to be Death Eaters! (or the equivalent)
Anyway, this is brilliant, I totally didn't expect something like this, and it's very different. I especially like the flipped morality of it- with the death eaters as the Wise. It was very interesting, I loved it.Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so glad that you liked it- I had a lot of fun writing it. And the sentence you gave me helped to create the idea for it!
Haha, yeah. It was definitely a different experience, writing from the "enemies" point of view, but it certainly was interesting. And it really gives you a different point of view of the whole series, doesn't it?
Thanks once again for reviewing! Report Review
Aww, poor Molly. The bit at the start was particularly touching, it was really sad about her birthdays and that she was a Squib and she really wished she could have gone to a school with a dorm and now she's stuck with the horrible Slytherins... you're mean, Keira. I feel all teary thinking about poor Molly.
And she's got the added curse of having a nan who hates her.
On a slightly more upbeat note, Hulk and Tinkerbell... whoever thought of them is a genius. Just saying :P
And I ship Moth/Molly. All the way. KISS PLEASE.
I love it, and I can't wait for more.Author's Response: Meh. Life sucks. ;)
I know - I'm being evil, but Molly's just REALLY unlucky. Like REALLY unlucky. There is much much more to come.
I know... the hulk? Tinkerbell? What weirdos ;) Haha... we'll see.
You are fantastic for reading and reviewing! Thank you so much for voting for Outcast in the Gryffie awards! :) Report Review
I LOVE THE SORTING. Although, I think the bowler hat is pretty cool as well, despite not being very scientific.
wait. Skeeter? Like Rita Skeeter? Poor Molly, her gran really really super hates her.
Cap that llama was brilliant.. is it a reference to that youtube video? Llamas with hats?
Anyway, you're fantastic Keira, I was giggling like mad :)Author's Response: Haha! Yey! You're not along - others have commented on the bowler hat as well ;)
Yep - there's some joint hatred going on,but we'll learn more about their relationship. Professor Skeeter isn't Rita, but there is a close relation ;)
OKay - I'll reveal the truth. 'Cap that llama' was never meant to be. :o When I originally put this chapter in the queue it was 'Cap that Drama' (in reference to Mr T) and there was several paragraphs linking Harry to begin a Mr T impersonator... but Mr T is a real person so it got rejected. (Sad times). So I rewrote the scene... and all I could think of was llamas in hats. :S
THERE'S A VIDEO?! I MUST FIND THIS VIDEO.
Awh - thank you Janeh! :) Report Review
Oh gosh, I'm laughing so much. I love Molly and Moth and Grewner steals the show, his voice is amazing, yus? :P I love him.
You are an exceptionally hilarious writer, and I love you Keira. I do. Dancing unicorns? Amazing. Kissing? Freaking awesome. Face stretching? Brilliant.
Also. Do not judge me, but Molly's gran is Molly, right? The first? *facepalm* I'm such a fool.Author's Response: JANEH!
Don't make me blush to a ridiculous amount ;) Thank you! Molly writes herself and Moth tags along.
Yep, I'm judging you right now. :P Molly's Gran is her mum's Gran. Molly (I) is also dead, but I don't see her as being a bitchy dead lady - that place is reserved for the other Gran. ;)
Thank you for reading Outcast, Janeh! :) Report Review
OMG HUGO IS A THIEF I KINDA LOVE YOU. *cough*
AH I can't wait for an update, I really can't. Louis and Ciaran I just love you both. Roxy can go away, she ruins EVERYTHING.
Can I take a second to squee? It must be so hard not describing sight and you do it so incredibly well, I bow down to you, because you manage to still set the scene so perfectly and it's amazing. I love it.
- JennyAuthor's Response: YES, HUGO IS A THIEF... Now, will he keep his promise to not stay a thief??? ;)
Haha. Roxy didn't know. Don't listen to Louis.
Aww. Thank you. It's easier than I thought it would be, if I'm honest. I thought it'd be hard. :P
Sam. Report Review
Daniel Scott is a very mean person, and I hope Louis fights again with him. Just saying. Seeing Ciaran's parents was great, it was such a touching moment with Ciaran's parents before Christmas, even though he was a little mean to them! I loved Louis ringing up to speak to him -just because he misses him!- and the Christmas presents from Louis are so bliddy cute. The Ipod idea was especially cute, and the card in Braille. Also, the watch is super cool.
- JennyAuthor's Response: Daniel is very mean. There's always one. I'll think about it.
He was not mean, he was defensive. They don't understand how he feels, which is his fault because he won't talk to them about it. Louis and the Christmas presents were just too adorable to not be in here. :P
Sam. Report Review
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