Not too mushy.Author's Response: thanks for the review!:) Report Review
The recollection of events past leading to Hermione realizing what Ron means to her is very nicely written.
Would have been even better if thoughts had passed through them without using words.
But still nice. Report Review
The despair, the pain the frustration aptly done.
Nothing more than necessary or out of place.
Good piece.Author's Response: Thank you very much:) Report Review
Very vivid narration.
I could see the smile, feel the relaxation and the need to run up the stairs to hold her in my arms and the exhilaration of the honey tasting kiss.
Very nice chapter Report Review
It's a nice story so far and has kept me reading.
I have one concern though.
What is the motive for Benedick to have the Hufflepuffs murdered?
I mean Hufflepuffs were also magical, one of his "own".
They were his friends as he says to Salazar before sending him to them.
Why would he want them murdered.
In fact by his own admission he wanted magical people in power, so even if Hufflepuff was planning to overthrow the King using Godric, which he wasn't, Benedick, given his lust for power, would have supported it all and hid it from the King, instead of giving him the idea of murdering them.
That part of the plot rather reads like like a soap opera where characters do things of great significance, taking great risk for absolutely no reason at all. Report Review
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