Reading Reviews From Member: Salem
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SalemBruises: Bruises

1st October 2011:
Agnes here with your review!

Sooo soo so sorry about the wait! I recently got a new computer and the word document with your review got lost in the file transfer so here I am writing up a new one for you.

I knew from the moment I read the title and summary that this piece was going to be serious and involve some type of abuse--poor Merope. One of the more pitiable characters in the entire series, I think. She didn't deserve what life threw her way :c

I think this was a wonderful retelling and elaboration of the events in Merope's miserable life. The characterization was fine, the dialogue was fine, and the flow was a bit choppy since it was broken up into particular events but I think that worked rather well with the story overall.

Poor girl suffered so much through her life, and I think you captured her tragedy very well. Good job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. The summary was particularly hard for me so I'm glad you liked that. And yes, Merope was going to suffer abuse -- that, I think, was inevitable.

Yup, the flow was choppy because of the different definitions of "bruise" so that's why. Thanks again for the review!


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Review #2, by SalemA Portrait Existence: Phineas Nigellus Black: A Portrait Existence

20th September 2011:
Agnes here with your review!

Ohhh yes! A portrait piece! A very interesting idea. You seem to have done an interesting take on this challenge!

I think it was really interesting how you wrote it from the perspective of a portrait, and also managed to give him a level of depth that would exist as if he were still alive, as a real person. This is even further emphasized when he expresses his sentiments towards being a portrait--I really liked that part, because, you know in the books we don't really get to hear about their feelings on the matter. And I mean, do they even have a choice before they're turned into magical portraits? Or are they kind of forced into it? I've always wondered.

His assistant Peeves--oh I like that part, it got me thinking. So you're saying here that Peeves was Phineas' assistant while they were alive? I'd never thought much about where Peeves may have been before he became a poltergeist...

Something else I liked was how Phineas compared his boring portrait existence with both Peeve's and Sirius'--somehow that just had a real impact on me. Probably because someone so arrogant learned to accept his uneventful life instead of wishing it was something more.

Overall, I think this was just brilliant and a very intriguing read.

Author's Response: hey!

Thanks so much for your in-depth review! I am thrilled you found it an intriguing read and it gave you something to ponder over :D

I am really happy you liked it overall, and touched upon various aspects of my little story! This review totally made my day!! I was so afraid it hadn't turned out quite well, but I'm glad you proved me wrong - I really wanted to explore his character and I'm glad I seem to have pulled it off fine!

Thanks once again!


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Review #3, by SalemThe Most Evil Mind of Lysander Scamander: Chapter 1 - My Most Evil Mind

14th September 2011:
Agnes from the forums, reviewing!

--Oh and before I forget, I do want that metaphorical chocolate!

Pigfarts. I absolutely loved that you included an AVPM reference! That immediately let me know that your style of humor would be of the right brand right off the bat. This was further proven by the chocolate brownie bit.

I think my favorite part is the fact that this is all from Lysander's point of view. I can just picture him as this insane wannabe overlord--which is quite contrary to my own head canon view of Lysander. So, for me, it's very interesting to see him portrayed in such a humorous, somewhat pompous, manner. I also like the way this was written in a stream of conscience style, where he goes off on tangents and random maniacal spouts before coming together at the end with another equally as random topic! A bit confusing, but I can't say that I dislike it.

I was a bit concerned about the 'accomplished legilimens' part, though--was he just joking, or is he actually a legilimens? I seem to recall that learning such a thing was highly controversial in the wizarding world and that it wasn't something to be openly taught. Not saying it's impossible, just a thing that shouldn't be taken lightly and mentioned so casually. But that point aside, I have a strong feeling that Lysander here could possibly be a dark/evil wizard in the making.

One typo I noticed was near the end--"when he got to big to be the quaffle" should be "too big" instead.

Author's Response: Hi! Here is your large bar of metaphorical chocolate for that lovely long review =)
Thank you so much! I do enjoy writing him and his randomness. The other chapters (I hope) are a bit more structured, so hopefully that will be less confusing.
I never thought of that about legilimency, so thank you for pointing that out! =)
Enjoy your chocolate =)

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Review #4, by SalemChange: Getting to know

14th September 2011:
Agnes here with your review :)!

Ohh, I just love it when people explore the history between Narcissa and Lucius and how they came to be a couple! I have to say I really, really like the way you've portrayed their relationship here. And it was so sweet until, well...until Lucius shoved poor Narcissa off of his lap. For some reason I found that amusing and quite in-character--the way you wrote it just seems very much like something he would do. And--oh. Ohhh. Narcissa, the poor dear! Seeing her husband in the arms of another woman--I just can't explain how heartbroken I was when I read that line.

I also think it's intriguing how you made Narcissa (willingly?) oblivious to the fact that Lucius became a Death Eater, only to have her find out on pure accident. I'd always thought he would share that kind of information with her--but I think I like the way you've kept it hidden from her a lot more, actually.

Overall, I find this to be an extremely believable scenario for Narcissa's shift in behavior. Very realistic, I think.

One thing I noticed, though, is that at times you emphasize certain words such as 'perfect' in double quotation marks while at other times in single quotation marks. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but you may want to check that over if it's not. It sort of distracted me while reading. But if that was intentional, feel free to ignore me!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for reading and making me smile with such a sweet review!!

I am glad you found my 'exploration' of the couple realistic and liked the portrayal. It is also very heartwarming to know I got the emotions across and that you found it all likeable, realistic and intriguing. Thanks a lot!!

And about the quotation marks - that is intentional. For more emphasis, it is double and for less it is single =)

Thanks a lot once again for your valuable comments!


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Review #5, by SalemSunday Brunch: Friday Morning

11th September 2011:
Agnes here with your review!

I liked the overall tone of this chapter. It made me feel all warm and comfortable, like I was living their cozy home life right alongside them.

As for Fleur's character, I think you've pretty much got it. Always strives to be the best, to outshine others, has that stubbornness and has her French accent! Check, check and check.

This first chapter was very interesting, I have to say--I couldn't stop reading it once I started. You start with background to the home life, how Fleur's muffin making became part of the family tradition, and then set up for conflict near the end. Nothing particularly eventful happens until the end of the chapter, but somehow that fits in very well with the overall mood. Ohhh, I can't wait to see how things go over when Davies arrives for brunch!

I think my favorite part of this chapter was the description of all of the muffins. So delicious, my mouth was basically watering just reading about them! Made me want to go out and buy some. Especially blueberry ones.

Looking forward to the next update!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your very prompt review :)

Warm and comfortable is sort of what I was going for, so it's great to hear that it worked for you! I always imagined their home as being a happy place, especially considering that it's where the trio elected to go following their escape from the horrors of Malfoy Manor.

I'm also happy that you thought I nailed Fleur down okay. I was a little worried about the accent, but I definitely tried :) I wanted her to be a nice protagonist but also retain her canon ways, and it sounds like I succeeded.

So pleased to see that it held your interest! I realize that a lot of it is set-up, but more action will be coming in the next two chapters, I promise. Brunch should definitely be interesting with Roger Davies there :)

Yay, my description worked! I put a lot of effort into it. Blueberry muffins are delicious!

I hope you return for another review when parts 2 and 3 are uploaded. Thanks again! :)


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Review #6, by SalemThe Fool: Prologue - Into the Shadows

11th September 2011:
Agnes bringing your review :)!

Readability was no problem whatsoever. The flow was very smooth, without a hitch! As for characterization, it seemed spot-on from what I can tell. I could imagine this actually happening between all of the characters, and that's always a good thing.

I really liked the mood you set for this chapter.

I could feel that something serious was going to happen by the way you described the dank surroundings and then--oh my, Voldemort appears! Definitely serious. Then, near the end when Severus is begging him to spare Lily, the setting becomes sort of surreal, especially when you mentioned him almost blacking out before holding his hand out to Voldemort in a dream-like state. I wonder just what Snape's got himself into with that Unbreakable Vow. Making deals with the devil is never a good thing... For that reason, I found the beginnings of this plot to be very immersing.

I will definitely be keeping an eye out for updates on this one!

Author's Response: I'm always worried about characterization of Voldemort (he's one of the characters who I am always like "I'm not sure..." about). And I haven't written an emotional Snape in a long time, so I was really nervous about how he'd come across. I'm really glad that it seemed natural.

Yay on the mood. I really wanted to set up the mood because the mood is really important for the overall story.

I'm glad to hear that I've peeked your interest, and I hope you continue on reading. Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #7, by SalemDolohov's Diary, Dominique & Me: A Birthday Surprise from Dominique and Dolohov

11th September 2011:
Agnes here with your review.

I was reading over this chapter, and I didn't seem to catch any grammatical errors that particularly stood out. I did catch a spelling error, however:

"No peaking"-- 'peaking' should be spelled as 'peeking' here.

As for the dialogue, I think it was fine. The little conversational exchange between Tom and Dom (oh wow their names rhyme--was that intentional or accidental?) didn't seem hard to understand, not to me at least.

I like how most of the chapter was all a dream! Poor Tom. How devastating.

"She's probably going to slap me or something. I hope she doesn't, she's good at slapping faces."--was probably my favorite line in the chapter.

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Review #8, by SalemBroccoli: A nickname

10th September 2011:
Agnes, reviewing!

I just have to say that first off, I've been looking around to read this story after seeing that banner at TDA. I mean, the name just immediately caught my interest. Broccoli? What kind of story has that title? I immediately became intrigued, just from that.

Now, I don't really remember who Eloise was in the books. I guess she was a 'Puff since she's in the same house as Justin? Sorry I can't help you much with her character, but I can say I like how you've written her in the fic, regardless. Same goes for Justin.

I did read over the first chapter to get a better feel for the story and Eloise, and I have to say I do like how you've written her flaws and struggle with her appearance. She's easy to relate to, and she's written in a very realistic, human way.

As for chapter two, I don't find it to be dull or boring at all! I actually like the way you wrote in the origin of her nickname. Because, let's face it--it's just not a nickname you hear everyday (just like Justin mentioned)! There had to be some kind of story behind it! And, there was. It was very cute. I had no problem with the fluff, but I guess if you feel it's too fluffy that's totally your call. Improvement is also your call, but I didn't see anything in particular that was even remotely cringe-worthy or bland about it.

I think I'll be keeping an eye on this story for updates.

Author's Response: Hey, hope you're having a nice day! :)

Oh, you saw this banner on TDA? Oh, haha, I would have been intrigued too. And I know it sounds unique and whatnot, but to be honest, it wasn't really creative- 'Broccoli' was actually the cue I got, so I decided to name the story that so that I'm forced to make the food item important enough for the challenge :P. Yeah, it wasn't that creative as it seems. don't remember Eloise? She didn't appear in the books, although there were a few references here and there. Like in GoF, Ron says that he would rather go alone to the Yule Ball than with 'Eloise Midgeon'. It isn't really known which house she belonged to, but I put her in Hufflepuff, so that she could be closer to Justin. :P

Thankyou! :) I'm so glad you liked it! I've always wanted to write about her, and when I did, I tried to put everything *I*'ve ever felt to make it more real. :)

You didn't? That's such a relief, truly! :) I won't have to write it again, at least. :P Hehe, yeah, it's a pretty unusual name, so I had to think up a good enough reason. I'm glad you found it cute! I tried to appear it that way, so I'm happy it worked. Yeah, this was the first time I had written an entire chapter that contained no plot whatsoever, so I was a little nervous. Improvement- trust me, I've tried. I rewrote this chapter several times, but it just keeps on coming out that way, so I suppose I'll have to let it be.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you'll like the future chapters as well, if you come back! :)

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Review #9, by SalemThe Quidditch Pitch.: The Quidditch Pitch.

10th September 2011:
Agnes here with your review!

This was just absolutely beautifully written. I've never read something quite like this before--I really love how reading fan fiction opens my mind to new, unique things. Reading from the perspective of something inanimate, though claiming it still has a soul, somehow left a very deep impression on me. I especially loved the ending line.

So, thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this!

I like how, even though this was a relatively short piece, it felt as if it were longer while I was reading over it. The description you used matched the mood well, and I just became so completely absorbed while reading.

As for things I believe you could better, I think you could do with different word choice in this part: "to lots and lots of Quidditch players"--I think it would be better to say, maybe, "several" or even "many, many" instead of "lots and lots." To me, those words just seem...weak and they don't leave enough of an impact on me, honestly. And since that line is in the beginning paragraph, I think it's important to draw in the reader with words that emphasize the situation.

A few errors I noticed were: "to hear their tantrum unfold"--tantrum should be in the plural form here since "children" is the subject.

And "The pitch itself had seen"--I noticed that everywhere else, "Pitch" was capitalized except during this particular line.

Author's Response: hello! I'm glad you made it over here ^_^

Nawww thank you so much for your compliment ^_^ That means alot to me that you think it was ;beautifuuly written' Thank you soo much! x

You are absoultley welcome! x Oh am really flattered that it left an impression on you :D It made me all giddy and happy ^_^

You were obsorbed in my first ever one-shot? Wow. I really am speechless about that, thank you very much for your lovely compliments! xx

I will look into all your tips on wording and grammar, as I know my Grammar is shocking, so I am greatfull that people can pick it up, and As I have said before, even though all of my stories have a beta, I do not expect any of them to pick up every minor detail that I get wrong, but still thank you so much for giving me those little tips, ill look into it and fix it right up ;) xx

~Karni. xx

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Review #10, by SalemPink Eyes: Pink Eyes

9th September 2011:
Agnes from the forums, reporting and reviewing!

I just want to say, first and foremost, that I love the summary you chose for this one-shot. Magical flaming forks is just so randomly hilarious!

Now, what really caught my interest was--Teddy, a Slytherin? Wow. Never would have thought of that! Especially since his mother was a Hufflepuff and his father was a Gryffindor. I like that, though. I like it a lot. I also like how you made his abilities uncontrollable. Tonks always made it seem so easy, being a Metamorphmagus, but I figure that took a lot of time to get the hang of. Very interesting.

As for your concerns: I wasn't expecting it to be any less fluffy, as fluff is one of its genres, but I don't think it was unbearably so. Had a good balance of fluff, romance and humor, I think. It was very enjoyable, overall! I liked the recurring theme of Teddy's pink eyes and how they related to his feelings for Victoire. Very sweet! Characters were also pretty enjoyable overall--expect for Prang. I really don't like him. He seemed too stereotypical jock, in my opinion, but I figure you were trying to make him as unlikable as possible--if so, then congratulations, you succeeded! Teddy's characterization was very nice, and I think it was my favorite. The way you wrote him was part serious, part humorous, and part sweet--a perfect balance. Victoire, on the other hand--I like how you wrote her out as a strong type who wouldn't stand for a boy possessively hanging off of her like Simon did. I think she really could have handled herself even if Teddy didn't come to her rescue!

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, thank you so much! Thanks for commenting on the amount of fluff, it's good to know that it's not too unbearable xD As for Prang, I wanted to make him more snooty (being the son of Ernie Prang) so I'll try and make him less stereotypical :) Thanks for commenting on him! And thank you for reviewing!

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Review #11, by SalemHero: Childhood Games

9th September 2011:
Pfft I still love how much Ron idolizes Harry as a child. I do have to wonder if this is really how he might have felt before he actually became friends with him. It would be nice to become friends with your childhood idol, after all! Like a dream come true and whatnot.

Silly Ron. Babies can't use wands! Oh and speaking of Ron, I'm glad to see that he has more dialogue in the first two chapters than from what I read in the third. Characterization is as good as always. Glum little Ronnie just breaks my heart, though. Poor kid.

Another sweet one-shot! I really enjoy reading these :)

Author's Response: That's exactly what spurred this story. What if it wasn't an accident that Ron walked into that compartment and sat with Harry? I mean, we know from canon that Ron knew full-well who Harry was before he sat with him.

Also, Ron's always been the kind of person who is drawn to fame and popularity. In GoF, he was awestruck by Krum and tried to figure out how to get his autograph (right up until the Yule Ball at least). I figured once he learned that he and Harry were the same age, he'd want nothing more than to meet him.

Anyway, I'm glad that you're enjoying this so far and that you like the way I've written Ron.

Thanks for your reviews! ♥

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Review #12, by SalemHero: Bedtime Story

9th September 2011:
Ahaha yes! Babbity-Rabbity--Ron's favorite story. Wow. I really like toddler Ron here. The line about the bridge just killed me! So cute! It's funny to think of Harry being the subject of bedtime stories for children, but I guess something like that would have happened since he was so famous and celebrated from a young age. I really like the way you're handling this series of one-shots so far.

Again, characterization is perfect from what I can see. You know your Weasleys!

This one-shot was overall bittersweet, I think. Sure, it was sweet, warm and cuddly with a family telling their child a bedtime story, but the part when Ron asked if Harry's parents came back and his dad said no was so sad! Poor Harry...

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this! Your last paragraph is exactly what I was trying to get across. Yes, it's squishy and fluffy, but it's not really the truth. There's a lot more to Harry's story, and it doesn't really have a happy ending (at least not yet).

I'm glad you liked toddler Ron :P I love Ron and he's fun to write, even as a four year old :P

Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

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Review #13, by SalemHero: On the Platform

9th September 2011:
Agnes from the forums, bringing your review! I will be reviewing the other two chapters, too, but started with chapter three since you put particular emphasis on it.

Ohhh, I like this. It's short and sweet and handles Ron's feelings very well, I think. I've never thought about how Ron felt about attending Hogwarts with Harry Potter--and the hero take is very interesting. Poor Ron, already met his childhood hero and didn't even realize it!

I think the characterization for all of the Weasleys is pretty much spot-on. The only thing that really bothered me was that even though it was from Ron's point of view, he didn't have much dialogue in the entire piece aside from a couple of 'shut up's. Characterization can show through a character's dialogue, and is just as important as internal thought. Ron always struck me as a vocal type of character, too, never afraid to speak his mind. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean his characterization is off or anything. I would just have liked to see some more speech from him is all!

And I think this is the only error I found: "As the twins switching to mocking Percy"--I believe should be "As the twins switched to mocking Percy."

Author's Response: Hey there :) Thanks so much for agreeing to review this! I really appreciate it!

There are a couple reasons I didn't give Ron much dialogue. Firstly, I was trying to keep it as canon as possible. We see much of this scene in canon, and Ron basically only says 'shut up'. He might have one or two other lines, but in the interest of keeping with the TOS for HPFF, I left those out. Secondly, I figured Ron was so focused on finding Harry, that he didn't pay much attention to what was going on around him, so didn't really have anything to say. When people get nervous, they often get quiet, and that's kind of what I was trying to do here. He'll definitely be a more vocal character in other chapters :)

Despite that, I'm glad you thought the characterizations were all right.

Thanks for pointing that mistake out. I went back and corrected it :)

Thanks again for taking the time to review all three of these chapters! I really appreciate it :)


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Review #14, by SalemWhispers Like Prayers: It's Enough

8th September 2011:
Hey there! Agnes from the forums bringing your review. I decided to read over this after all since I found some extra time even though it was a bit longer than I would have liked. But I'm glad I did!

Now, I'm not one to typically read this pairing, but the way you describe it is just so natural and smooth. I really, really like the approach you took towards this one-shot, too. It still focuses on the war, on the importance of the betrayal of Lily and James and all of the confusion surrounding the issue, yet at the same time manages to involve the relationship between Sirius and Remus. I think the plot flowed very well.

I also really like how you included their skills at making magical maps--it really came in handy for them.

The only thing that made me iffy is the characterization of Remus in the beginning--I just can't imagine him swearing, but that's just me. I suppose the situation called for it, in any case.

And I'm not sure, but this may be a spelling mistake-- "as if they could mould and bend together as one."--should that 'bend' be 'blend' instead?

Overall, I think this was very heartwarming despite all of the angst and mistrust. It all came together perfectly at the end. Sigh. If only it could have happened this way in the series.

Author's Response: Hi Agnes! I'm sorry about the length - you said you preferred stories with word counts less than 3K but I wasn't sure if that was just a "preference" or something that you stuck to strictly as a rule. Thanks for stopping by, though!

I'm glad this pairing worked for you in this fic. That's my goal! I don't want to turn everyone into crazy slash-lovers but I want people to have an understanding of the type of relationship two men can have together and at least feel somewhat comfortable reading it. I know it isn't for everyone though.

I often times focus on the war in my stories, about the loss and grief and the tragedy of it all, and I don't focus on their relationship. So that was something new I was trying with this fic. Good to see it worked well.

I loved the idea of them using their cartography skills to find Peter. They were able to create a map that tracked every inhabitant of Hogwarts...why not create a map to find one person they were searching for? It makes me wonder how Sirius found Peter in the first place that next day...

When I was writing it, I'll admit that the cursing felt unnatural coming from Remus. I usually have Sirius swearing and it definitely is something I can see him doing...but I found it suited the tone of the story. Remus can't have spent all that time with Sirius and not picked up on something. ;)

No, I meant bend. I was just trying to convey the idea of them being like one entity - that they were molded together and could move as one. Does that make sense?

This was definitely one of my 'happier' fics so I'm glad you found it heartwarming. This is definitely something I wish had happened in canon - at least the idea of Harry never going to live with the evil magic-hating Dursleys and Harry never really getting the chance to know his godfather the way he should have.

Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it. :)

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Review #15, by SalemAt Great Personal Risk: Natural Talents

3rd September 2011:
Ohh I'd almost forgotten that they were sorted into different houses since the last time I read the previous chapter. But the way you handled their sortings was very interesting! Poor Lily...I really feel for her. I hope she makes some more friends and gets better at potions! And I hope she gets to talk to Severus, too! The first of many bad days to come...ohh that doesn't sound good :(

I like how you've portrayed all of the characters so far, though. Sirius is still Sirius, just more--I dunno, dedicated to the pureblood heritage? I really want to see what else you do with that in the future.

Oh, and about the first part of the chapter--the make up Lily is putting on? I'm not sure about that. I mean, she's a first year, so she's about eleven, right? It just seems a bit young for that kind of thing, in my opinion.

Author's Response: Hey again! :)

Yes, Lily does have a bit of a difficult time right off the bat. I'm glad you can feel a sense of pity for her, as I definitely wanted that to come through. I sort of wanted to play up her depressive nature and low self-esteem, which is why I had her putting on so much makeup. She thinks very little of herself, and so she tries to cover it up, and in doing so she covers up not only her physical form but also everything she's trying to hide underneath. It's a bit of a metaphor, I suppose. I know she's young, but the feelings she has are very dark, and they reflect the emotions of a much older woman. I hope it makes more sense to you now.

Sirius is still a bit of Sirius, to an extent, but you will see a very different man in the next few chapters than the one portrayed in canon. Sirius in this story is not someone that the Marauders would want to be friends with.

Thanks for another lovely review! :)


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Review #16, by SalemAt Great Personal Risk: The First Years' First Test

25th August 2011:
Oh. Wow. Everything is so different! Not that that's a bad thing--I really like where you're going with this alternate storyline :)

Never would have guessed Lily would go to Hufflepuff, but Snape in Ravenclaw--now I could see that happening.

Oh and I was a little confused at the part about Severus' sorting: I was always under the impression the Sorting Hat's comments could only be heard by the student wearing it--but some of the first years smirked at what it said? Or did I just interpret that wrong...

I'm curious about that blonde-haired girl now. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next update!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for your review. I'm glad you like the direction of the storyline so far :)

You're absolutely right about the hat. What I meant to imply was that Severus blushed and the other first-years smirked at that. Severus was the only one to actually hear the hat's comments, though. Does that make sense?

The next chapter will be up soon :) Thanks again for your kind review!


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Review #17, by SalemAt Great Personal Risk: A Little Bit of Chemistry

23rd August 2011:
Ohhh I like where you're going with this! I was a little confused at first, too, but now I get what you mean with the switch.

I think it's a really interesting idea, but I'm wondering where it will end up. Since their lives are kind of swapped, does this mean that Snape is the one who's gonna find love and Lily is going to have forever unrequited feelings? Oh and also, are they still going to be friends? Pff feel free to not answer any of that--I'll just stay tuned for the next chapter and find out along the way.

Author's Response: Thanks for your kind review!

The key word is "kind of". Their lives are "kind of" swapped, but the actual challenge I'm currently in is a switched personality one, so I put more of a focus on the personality swap. I can't really answer your first question, but I can confirm that they are going to be friends, if that makes you feel any better :)

Thanks again, and I hope you keep reading! Chapter three will be up very, very soon!


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Review #18, by SalemMeet The Potters: Meet The Potters

10th August 2011:
HAH yes! So glad you threw Sirius into this little get together. You know, when I read that Granny Evans and Sirius were both just laughing their heads off at all the fighting, I could just imagine them sitting in the corner drinking together and chatting, being all cool while everyone else was upset and spittin' mad at each other--weirdest mental image, right? But then again, Sirius does seem like the type who can get on well with anyone.

This entire one-shot just had me grinning the whole time I was reading it, but I think my favorite part was the interaction between Granny Evans and Sirius since it was just*hilarious.* Every character was well-written and I could easily imagine this actually happening. Just wonderful.

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Review #19, by SalemAnd the Pattern Repeats: The Burrow

31st July 2011:
You know, it just killed me when Fred died in the book, and when I saw it happen in the movie the sorrow was renewed again. And once again when I read this. Losing a twin--a brother and a best friend--I honestly could never imagine how heartbreaking and devastating that would be. But this fic captures George's feelings about losing half of himself quite well, I'd say. It's just about how I'd think twins who are very close would feel, too. The way you wrote the emotion was so painfully heart-wrenching that I have to admit it made me actually shed a few tears. I'm still sniffling!

The light, humorous note this story ended on did bring a smile to my face though. Balanced the angst well and was a very Fred-and-George thing to do.

This was just wonderful!!

Author's Response: It bothered me to know how much Fred's death would affect George. In an alternate universe, perhaps he recovered quickly and his wounds healed and he was okay. But I don't think it would have happened that way - and I think he would have suffered, at least in a tiny way - for the rest of his life. I really felt compelled to break George down to pieces in this one-shot and then sort of heal him myself, using their twin humor and memories of what Fred would have wanted. I'd like to think that eventually, someday, George no longer felt a painful void where he brother used to walk next to him, like mirror images.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :)

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Review #20, by SalemThe Fires Within: Twenty-Six: Ending of a Story

30th July 2011:
I know this fic is old and later books in the series contradicted certain events you portrayed here, but because I feel this was so masterfully written I really didn't mind any of that so I won't bother nitpicking. Instead I'll just give my thoughts overall.

I have to say, I steered as *clear as possible* of Snape/OC fics before I had a go at reading this, since Snape/Lily is an OTP of mine and I feel the majority writers who pair an OC with Snape just tarnish his character and pure love completely (you did neither of those). But I told myself to give this story a chance since the first chapter so politely requested doubtful readers to give it a try. And the result of that is that now I really, really just adore your deep writing style and how your characters and their interactions are so well developed that they just come to life from the text--ugh! I never get this attached to original characters, but I teared up when Grimm died--and that turned my initial skepticism into great fondness. I read this story *twice* in the span of one week and I still loved it as much the second time.

I also love how you didn't force a relationship between Snape and Emma and that they didn't get a happy, cliched fairytale ending. The bittersweet ending was a much better fit in my honest opinion, since they are both rather tragic characters. And on that note, I'm glad you finished this story and saw it through to the end because if it had been left unfinished I'm not sure I would have been able to adore it as much since it's easier for me to feel attached to completed stories than abandoned or unfinished works since I usually tend to wander away from and lose interest in those types.

I'm sure if I don't stop somewhere I'll end up ranting like a loon about what else I liked, so I guess that's the end of this review. I'll definitely be checking out your other works!

Author's Response: To put it simply from my end, the last two books threw very large wrenches into my plots and characterizations and made finishing this story very, very difficult (because I'm a stickler for canon unless one is writing explicitly AU material). I should have finished writing before HBP came out, but instead I slow down and get further put off by DH's revelations. *sigh*

As soon as I read DH, I leapt onto the good ship Snilly once and for all, so I can understand your trepidation regarding Snape/OC. I miss the innocent days of Snape/OC stories, but I can't read them anymore, unless one came out that cleverly and plausibly fit into canon.

Anyway, I'm stunned by this review. To be honest, until I received this review, I despised this story with every ounce of my creative being - so many things went wrong with it and it's far from the ideal I kept dreaming it would be. But after I read your thoughts, I went back and read through the ending chapters (and my favourite earlier chapters with Grimm and Minerva - that part of the story, at least, was a success), and I can see what you mean. There is depth and character sympathy and the writing's better than I thought it was (can I say that?) - those chapters with Snape and Emma may be ridiculously plotted, but the feeling there is strong, and that's what counts. Thank you for shoving me back into this story - it's always good to go back to one's roots and to see that they're not as rotten as one imagines them to be. I hated this story for so long, but looking back, I don't quite know why.

Thank you for reading and reviewing this story. It means a lot to hear these things from someone, especially one who enjoyed the story, and took the time to read it multiple times - that's got to mean something, and I appreciate it. There's no better compliment you could have paid. ^_^

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Review #21, by SalemWizard's Sabbath: Prologue: Every Day Comes and Goes

30th July 2011:
Ohhh, I am just *loving* this story! I just read all of what you have posted so far in one sitting and I have to say that you have an extremely interesting take on the Prince and Snape family pasts. It provides very realistic situations that can be related to and, as far as I'm concerned, I could believe this to be canon!

Along with that, your writing style is just so immersing and shows the emotions of the characters wonderfully. I mean I felt bad for Snape before, but reading about the horribly wretched home life just brings about a whole new wave of pity.

The OCs are also interesting and nicely developed so far--particularly Lucy. I adore the way you write her accent!

Well, I'll be keeping my eye on this for future updates, definitely.

Author's Response: I am sorry to have taken so long to reply, but I was really hoping to have a new chapter up by the time I did. (I'm working on it, truly.)

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kind and encouraging words. I am glad you enjoy my stories and I will try to keep updating. If only life didn't get in the way. . .

Thank you again.

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