Reading Reviews From Member: HJ Weasley
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HJ WeasleyWhispers Like Prayers: It's Enough

6th September 2011:
Okay, so it didn't make me cry. But that was my only complaint. Hehe.

The writing was gorgeous as usual, the dialogue impeccable. I loved the way you wrote Remus especially. And I really love this story only because it brings to life a sort of happy ending, one where Sirius doesn't suffer in Azkaban and Remus doesn't suffer a life of loneliness. And one where Harry gets to grow up with a family who really loves him.

Peter is so realistic in this as well, especially the part where he admits to Sirius everything he did and then tries to backtrack... finally getting his comeuppance, excellent.

Well done, Missy!

Author's Response: Well as long as that's your only complaint, I can handle that.

I really wish this story happened in canon. It breaks my heart what these men went through. The fact that they had their whole lives taken away at such a young age. That Harry lost his young parents and was sent to live with a family who despised everything he represented. It definitely puts things into perspective, especially the tragedy of war.

Since it's 3rd person limited, I thought of keeping it from Sirius's POV but I wanted to write them both so I'm glad I decided to write Remus in.

I'm glad that Sirius and Remus got that justice. It may not bring James and Lily back but at least they know something's been done and the man who betrayed them will continue to live a miserable life.

Thanks, Arzu!


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Review #2, by HJ WeasleyMorocco: CHAPTER SIXTEEN

30th July 2011:
Easily the most engaging, possibly the best fanfic I have ever read. You really have a way with words. I don't have any complaints except for the fact that you have a few spelling errors. Other than that, this is a fabulous fic, and you've actually made me a next-gen fan... bravo.

Author's Response: wow thank you so much, i am really thrilled that you enjoyed it and thank you for your lovely comments.
xx


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Review #3, by HJ WeasleyMorocco: CHAPTER SIX

29th July 2011:
Oh my god, I am loving this fic so far. Usually I hate reading next-gen - the characters in general make me cringe and all the plots seem the same - but I came across this story by chance and have been hooked ever since. It is so original, so addicting, so realistic. This paragraph is perfection:

"She turned and floated on her back, her eyes unwillingly moving to the balcony of her suite. Scorpius was there, but he was not watching her, as she had feared, or maybe hoped. He was watching the moon. Rose lay back in the water, limbs moving languidly at her sides and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Scorpius was gone inside and she sighed, feeling oddly rejected. The gold band resting on the ring finger of her left hand felt heavy, and she was suddenly more aware of its presence than before. Absently, she reached across her body, twisting it. It would slip off without effort; another reminder that this was a lie. She wondered why it bothered her."

I just can't stop reading. I have to go to bed now unfortunately, cause I have a lot to do tomorrow, but you are so talented. Can't wait to read the rest.

Author's Response: thank you. i am really thrilled you are enjoying this and thank you for all your lovely comments.

i don't know what else to say, only i am glad you stumbled onto this fic and that you are finding it a little different.

xx


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Review #4, by HJ WeasleyAll That's Beautiful Drifts Away: iii. The Betrayal

24th July 2011:
This is even better the second time around. Obviously I have no issues with grammar, and the characterizations are impeccable. My favorite part is the James/Lily scene towards the end, when they're acting all cute and lovey dovey, right before their deaths. It is bittersweet.

You have mastered the Marauders like no other author I've seen, Missy. Sorry for the short review, but I literally can't find any faults in this one. Bravo.

Author's Response: Thank you for beta reading, giving me advice and reviewing!! That's my favorite part too; I loved writing it even though it made me sad. :(

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Review #5, by HJ WeasleyWish Upon a Star: The Wish

23rd July 2011:
The first paragraph is well written in the way it connected the story to the title. The grammar is a bit iffy but as an intro, it's good.

As for the rest of the story, I don't feel as though it lives up to the potential of the first paragraph. It feels way too rushed, where all of a sudden Draco is obsessed with Hermione. To begin with maybe you should include more detail about how much they hated each other in the past, and their relationship's slow development (at least on Draco's part) to make it more realistic. It just seemed as though you wanted to skip right to the kiss.

Draco and Hermione strike me as very OOC. Draco is not lovey-dovey by nature, and the way he seems to obsess about Hermione seems forced. Also, why is Draco the most hated Slytherin student when you just mentioned Slytherin girls fell at his feet? He's pretty much the leader of his gang of Slytherins, is he not?

I understand that Draco would struggle with his emotions concerning Hermione but he wouldn't just throw all his Pureblood concerns aside and just kiss her like that; it just doesn't seem realistic to me.

The chapter in a whole as I mentioned before is very rushed, with Draco's internal monologue merely telling, rather than expressing, his feelings. I suggest perhaps fleshing out his memories, his feelings, because I couldn't understand really why he fancied Hermione so fast.

On a final note I suggest finding a beta reader at the forums because you have quite a few spelling and grammar errors.

Overall the premise seems interesting but the execution leaves something to desire.

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