Reading Reviews From Member: tangledconstellations
  
200 Reviews Found

Review #26, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: The Tale of Timothy Bones and Muggle Fans

12th October 2012:
Hey lovely!

Ohmygosh, it has taken me forever and a day to get round to this third review. (errmm, only 2 1/2 months) But alas, here I am!

I really enjoyed this chapter. You said in your areas of concern that you worried about dragging the journey/initial chapters out a bit too much. I really don't think you have though. There's something ever so whimsical and anecdotal about these chapters that ties in completely with the tone and mood of this fic and what you're trying to achieve. If this fic was dark and intense maybe it would be different, but for the time being I like how every moment of hers is a bit of an uphill struggle. It just means we get to know her all the more :)

MOTH. That is the cutest name ever. I love how their friendship hasn't immediately blossomed like Harry's and Ron's did - it kinda makes me think that the rest of this fic is going to be a bit more perfectly dysfunctional ;) the way there is a little bit of early conflict too is super, because all of these things just help us to get even more of a grasp on the characters, not to mention making this a million times more funny. Honestly, your humour writing is the shizz! I seriously wish I could be as funny as you. One day I'm gonna give writing a comedy piece a go, but I bet it won't be a notch on this.

Taking a break from this (because of my awful unorganised life) and coming back to reading this third chapter was actually really interesting. In my head I could still remember the things that had gone on before, and literally slipped back into this chapter with no problems at all. That, to me, is a mark of a great piece of writing, and I am looking forward to the chapters to come! The whole Gran thing the second time round was as funny as the first - I don't think you're overdoing it yet at all. I love the way she blames her Gran for her own stupid mistakes - a little shortsightedness in a character just makes things all the more interesting ;)

Lots of love for this chapter, and I'm so sorry about the atrocious wait.

Laura x

 Report Review

Review #27, by tangledconstellationsA Session With Nova Spacelove: Custard Yellow

3rd September 2012:
Hey!

I just thought I'd drop by and leave you a little nonsense review :)

This was honestly hilarious! I don't think I've ever laughed so much at a fic on here. Geraldine Bychance - I nearly died, hahaha! And aside from how awesomely hilarious this was, it was still super well written. Nova is such a quirky character - I kinda wish you'd extend this to more than a one-shot. :) and I think you wrote Molly perfectly! Ahh I am kind of rambling, but yeah, this was just brilliant :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Geraldine Bychance, hehehe. :3 Nova was delightfully ridiculous to write, especially with Molly egging her on. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you. :)

 Report Review

Review #28, by tangledconstellationsIvory: Ivory

2nd September 2012:
This was so beautiful!

I wish I could sit and write about all the millions of tiny things you have done to make this perfect, but I know I'll be here all day. Just, the fluidity of this, and the way their movement felt like dancing. It was all just so lovely. It's such an achievement, and you should be ever so proud of this. I know in the future I'll be coming back to read this a thousand more times :) ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much Laura! I spent a long time on this, making sure every detail was planned out and metaphored and cross-referenced and everything, so I'm so glad you saw those tiny things I did haha. I think almost every sentence has a double meaning, which can be read different levels if you could be bothered to look for them haha!

Thank you so much :) I'm very proud of it :D


 Report Review

Review #29, by tangledconstellationsGlory: Glory

1st September 2012:
Rachel!

I haven't read anything much for such a long time, apart from the odd chapters of things here and there, and I've been making mental notes to pop over to your author's page! I hope you're okay, and I hope this little review makes you smile. ♥

I really liked this one. It was ever so touching. I loved the alternation of the viewpoints, and the way that somehow even though the underlying theme is quite sinister and unsettling you manage to create something beautiful out of her death. The way there were so many voices in this really shows how much of an impact one person losing their life can have.

Your descriptions were astounding and in many ways very inspiring too. It's a wonder how you can make so many things sound so beautiful! You used such an array of adverbs that everything sounded so animated in the loveliest way. Usually this is something I'm awful at, so again with the mental notes! I loved the way, too, you used to many powerful one-liners, or the use of just one word. It made this at times so hard hitting, just when it needed to be.

This was gorgeous and achingly sad all the at the same time. And, it is an achievement; one you should be proud of.

Lots of love,
Laura xxx

Author's Response: Smile indeed, lovely. I'm so sorry it's taken an age to reply. I'm so rubbish with this site these days :(

I'm so happy that sinister aspect shines through. I wanted it to feel a little uneven, like something was missing that the reader couldn't put their finger on, only for it all to come together upon second reading.

Single lines and one word sentences are my staple, I think! They come quite naturally for something like this and I'm glad they have an impact.

Thank you so much, Laura. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply!

xx


 Report Review

Review #30, by tangledconstellationsUntainted: Victorious

1st September 2012:
Hey lovely!

Thought I'd leave you a little review! :D

I really enjoyed reading this - short and sweet! I loved the way you set up each section in the same way, and you carried us through their relationship so gently. It was so lovely, too, to have Teddy's worries interwoven between each section, as well. It reinforced the fact that the two of them know each other inside out. I felt like their relationship was so rock-solid throughout this.

I also really liked the way Victoire was much more humble and gentle in this. Almost, a bit less sure of herself. Normally, people characterise her to be this loud boisterous character, but I really like your Victoire. She's so genuine :)

I really enjoyed this! I'm so sorry this review is so short, but I thought I would scatter some happiness as I floated through! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura, and thank you! I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to post a response for you!

This piece was my first foray into next-gen, and it was kind of interesting to write because it's got this surface-level fluff that seems to hide some darker undertones. I'm glad you felt like it flowed nicely and that you got a good sense of Teddy and Victoire's relationship.

Something I like to do a lot in my fics is try to turn stereotypical characterizations on their heads. With canon characters, that usually means looking at a canon trait in a different light. With next-gen, though, we don't know much about any of the characters, so I wanted to challenge the portrayal you mentioned and try a softer Victoire here :) I'm glad you felt like it worked well stylistically.

Thanks so much for your sweet review!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #31, by tangledconstellationsMagnolia Street: Coral and Black

1st September 2012:
This was everything perfect in the world, plus so much more ♥

THEY KISSED. AHH. SO happy right now! And, and, 'warmth'. ♥ this is the cutest moment in all of the history of fanfiction forever until eternity! My heart kind of stopped when Scorpius hadn't moved an inch. And I breathed again when he said do it again! I loved that this was so fast paced - I can't actually believe he made the first step and dived right in there. I guess because Lysander is quite cut off, as we've mentioned before, with his methodical way of thinking, when he does do something I expect it to be justified and explained. But he totally just acted with his heart right here! I think that's what makes this moment so much more powerful, and what makes him such an exciting and likable character!

It was really great to take a step away from his apartment/the ministry/the city and have a setting that is fresh and breezy and just somewhere that acts as a catalyst. Saying that though, it is so typical of Lysander (and you, guiding his adorably-deceptive scientific brain processes!) not to have mentioned any feelings of love or attraction or anything before this kiss. All we see is that he seeks him out at the alter, and, and, and he recognises his voice and, OH, just, the little things that reinforce familiarity with these two. Must be the sea air! And, Lysander acts so surprisingly compulsively here too - I feel like every time I read a new chapter there are 100 more sides I see to him each time. I adored the image of him semi-dozing in the chair. It was so lovely. HE is so lovely. You manage to make everything so real with your descriptions, like, the way he'd blink a lot after being woken up, and the way he'd talk ever so politely, like, 'I can't see who you are exactly!' and just oh a million things, really. You really flesh him out in such a fantastic way. I don't think I'm being coherent again, though. This always seems to happen when I read this.

And, Rin, your descriptions in this chapter were SO mesmerising and beautiful and just WOW. I got this really rustic picture of the wedding. Rough around the edges but in a way that reminds you how delicate and beautiful the moment is. After all of this, it makes me wonder all the more about Lorcan, too. I think he must be kinda happy with the wedding - it seems he's made sure it all looks wonderful :) (oh, crap, I digressed again - ok, descriptions) And, yes, where was I?, everything, every tiny and brilliantly big thing you describe just comes across as amazing and intricate. Like, 'only the immense, ivory moon lit his path.' IMMENSE IVORY. I would have just called it the moon, but you make everything just so pretty and perfect and real! I know I've said it millions and trillions and I probably always will keep saying it billions and jillions, but I love your writing style so much ♥ It's so effective, so careful and so, so readable. Everything, from the first encapsulating line (the stationary boulder in a sea of tempestuous water) to the last fleeting word ('warmth' ♥ ♥ ♥) - it's all crafted so brilliantly. You should be constantly proud and amazed with yourself, and not only just with this chapter, but with everything you write. Your writing is so distinct and just so gentle and bold at the same time. So much Rin writing love right now!

Thank you ever so much for mentioning me in the authors note - that is so, so sweet of you! It makes me so happy to think I'm helping you with this, even if all I'm doing is getting stupidly overexcited by every chapter :D and thank you also for updating so quickly! I hope this review also gives you a little boost and makes you re-fall in love with this story, because it is kind of wonderful :}

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Laura x

Author's Response: OH MY GOSH LAURA where do I even begin? Let me just start by saying that I was looking forward to you reading this chapter because I hope (HOPE) it was sort of what you wanted and I was writing it with you in mind (like I said, your last review just did wonders for my enthusiasm). Gah. So much love. So much gushy love. Cannot even... function... properly.

Thank you for mentioning my little sleepy seaside town! I was just thinking that it would be a lot more fun to romp around in than the dreary old city (and we've seen far too much of that already, haven't we?). I had such a vivid picture when I was writing it; I'm really pleased that it seems to have come across to you!

I was actually really worried about not straight-out mentioning any attraction between them before they actually kissed, I cannot even tell you. But I tried to be vague: seeking out in the crowd, and all that. I hope it was OK. I'm certainly glad that you seem to think so!

Baha, you're being plenty coherent! I was beaming the entire time I was reading this - just beaming. You should know that.

I'm super, super happy that you liked the wedding scene. It's sort of hard to describe a wedding when I haven't been to one in so long, so I hope all the details were OK.

GAH THANK YOU SO MUCH. I just cannot even comprehend comments on my style, especially coming from you. They completely melt my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I like to think it's something I've been working at for the better part of five years. :P

Oh, you're definitely helping, dear! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited you make me about my own story. You've been a vehement supporter since day one and I absolutely cannot thank you enough.

asdf;lajdfa;dlsfa;dlfjk

Love reciprocated fully,
Rin
xx


 Report Review

Review #32, by tangledconstellationsThe Brightest Star: the littlest king

1st September 2012:
Hey, lovely,

Indeed I did stick around til the end, and I'm super glad I did. This was beautiful, through and through. I love Regulus, and I've always been really timid about reading him on this site just in case the writer doesn't quite get him right. I don't like to see him tangled in love stories or portrayed as childish or anything. But, I honestly believe that you have made him the Regulus that sits and lives in my mind every time I read the series or think about them. Really, truly. Thank you ♥ this was wonderful. You made him numb and cold but somehow angry, too, and completely consumed by his thoughts, and just everything about him was amazing. He was so low throughout this, feeling insignificant, yet this whole piece shouts of sparks and wholesomeness and one hundred things I can't quite explain. It was just entirely completely mesmerising and so, so inspirational ♥ again, thank you. You should be so proud of this piece ♥

Laura x

 Report Review

Review #33, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: Choking and Whistles

28th August 2012:
OH MY GOD HAHAHA: "But perhaps when I come of age, then everything will change. And I'll fly into the Burrow for Christmas dinner like, 'Oh, didn't I tell you? I can fly now. Roast Beef? Oh I'd lov- Oops got to go! Danger calls!' And then I'd fly out and they'd all be like woah. I wish my daughter was a squib." YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS LAUGHING AT THIS. I think you are my comedy soul-mate.

This was such a good chapter! I love that, in a literal sense not much has happened so far, but you've told the story so well and you've got me all caught up in her anxiousness! I can't imagine just picking my things up and going would be like just like that, especially when going to the school might feel like it's making the whole wizard/squib situation worse. I like that we saw the softer side to Molly. I felt that she was genuinely a bit panicked about leaving, which again makes me think that she must be a bit insecure. She is lovely though.

Hahaha Mr Whestle, what a lad! I was just like, eww gross when reading that! He's kinda cool though. In a freaky way. I genuinely did find this whole chapter hilarious, and I love that you kept the balance brilliant between not too much narrative and a little bit of dialogue. It all reads so well and so vividly, and the sarcy comments and one-liners just MAKE this.

Yet, even though this is so funny you still manage to give it such an honest and heartfelt reality check. Like, the last paragraph: Molly experiencing what her cousins have. The last moments of this chapter are written so beautifully. It is a far cry from the Hogwarts Express horn, because she's stuck somewhere in between normality and absurdity - normality very well being the muggle world. It was so nice to experience the sentimentality of this moment with Molly :)

Laura xxx

 Report Review

Review #34, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: Ice Skating and Belly Dancing

28th August 2012:
Hey love!

First up, I apologise profusely for taking so blumming long in getting round to reviewing! I have been so so busy and I feel so pants about neglecting my review thread! Finally (what - about a month later!?) I have found some time :)

When you posted on my review thread, I was straight away really excited about reading this! The idea is so cool - a school for Squibs! I kinda love Molly to pieces already. She's kind of hilarious :D She's so fiery and random as well - I get the impression that this is kind of her defence mechanism for feeling a bit bad about missing out on so much stuff :/ but nevertheless, she's quirky and I like her a lot :) I do think she is believable too, so you needn't worry about that. She has an edge to her, which is great! I like that she's a little awkward because it shows she has flaws, and is thus more believable :)

I really like the whole thing with her Gran! I find it so funny! One thing I would suggest though is to maybe outline it a little bit more at the beginning of this chapter. I understood it, but I don't know if that's because you pointed it out on your review request. It's really unique though. It makes us know Molly all the more - passing the blame onto other people :P I don't think you're focusing on it too much. I think a little more would be overkill but right now I think you're at the right place with it. I mean, this situation would be super awkward and difficult for her, she her mind is wandering and like I said a sec ago, she's passing the blame. It'll be interesting to see how much more you focus on this in later chapters though :) if ever it does become too much, I will let you know! But as the initial 'getting-to-know-the-characters' chapter, I think this is alriiight! :D

I love the whole Weasley-clan thing, and the coming together of all the extended family. Molly is such a sore thumb, she's so cute. And JAMES. God. He should keep his mouth shut :P I love next-gen's where the family are all so close. It's just so lovely and I'm so glad you've stuck to that. But, at the same time you've really made it your own by including Molly's sarcastic side-comments, too. It colours it so much more :D

This was a great first chapter - on to the next one!

Laura :D xxx

 Report Review

Review #35, by tangledconstellationsChristmas in Prison: Christmas in Prison

28th August 2012:
A little review for a beautiful one-shot (:

I stumbled across this one and genuinely did fall in love with it! It's so lovely. It's so calm but so stormy and I think you've captured Draco's anxiousness so well. It must have been awful in his shoes. Luna too - the way she slips into desperation. :( so powerful, considering she is so airy most of the time. By the end of this I kind of felt numb, just because I felt so much for each of the characters in such a short time. This slips back into canon so well too - it was just brilliant.

Your writing is just so wonderful and I really should read more of your things :} ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: eee thank you! it was a wee bit hard to write, so it's always so lovely to get positive feedback on this one. I've written Draco and Luna countless times but I still struggle with both characterisations so this fic was especially tricky in parts. I'm so glad you liked it and that you felt for the characters :3 thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review ♥ ♥ ♥

 Report Review

Review #36, by tangledconstellationsMagnolia Street: Tumbling, Suddenly

28th August 2012:
A Belated Review for a Beautiful Rin!

Okay, so now that I gave you your sensible feedback via pm the other week, I can legitimately FREAK OUT with excitement over this chapter in this review and rewrite the whole thing with AHHH's in between! First of all though I am SO SORRY it took me forever and a day to get round to posting on here. I forgot to do it before I went on holiday, and then I was going to do it ON holiday but I only had my rubbish iPhone screen so I HAD TO WAIT :( but here I am!

I honestly thought that meeting Scorpius and really having them chatting would be a little more drawn out than this, but I am SO GLAD it's not. This is perfect. Brilliant timing and the best way ever to poke this story along :) They are just too insanely cute. They're both antisocial dorks getting drunk in an antisocial dorky pub and I'm happy this is by no means cliche/too over-dramatic right now. You could have made this all unrequited and everything, where they never talk ever again but I'm glad that they are talking and have the opportunity to know each other! I'm glad that Scorpius isn't too out of his league or anything, too, or doesn't think he is at least, because I just WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BEAR THAT. SO GLAD he's not a douche. The last chapter was great in really getting to know Lysander (and he is a lovely chappy) but I feel as though in this one we know Scorpius more. Like, he's a bit brash sometimes and his confidence has got to be a facade. I kind of like that I don't like him as much as Lysander. I feel like an overprotective mother with him hahaha. But in the same way, to be drinking alone in a bar with just his thoughts - it makes me wonder if Scorpius is okay after all. And then I think of how much Lysander can SAVE HIM and I get so stupidly excited about the next chapters and how everything has got to be okayy ♥

I am so amazed and inspired too by the way you keep up the Lysander-ish tone of the narrative. Everything is very black and white and grey with Ly. Like, the way you described the sign: 'There was a shrill singing of metal on metal, a sound that was almost familiar and yet strangely unsettling'. He has to analyse the sound and liken it to something and know why it makes that noise and just think so much about everything. There are so many bits like this that you include that just make me think 'wow, how do you remember to keep this all up?'. It's really refreshing because then I feel like I'm not just reading a fanfic, I'm reading Lysander's story, full of his quirks and habits and character. It is just really lovely and really inspiring.

I really liked, too, the way Lysander had more of a voice. It was as though this confidence just blossomed out of him for some reason. He was so frank when talking to Scorpius, like when he pretty much admitted that he feels second best to his brother. Would he have normally said this? I'm glad all these fiery feelings are being voiced, even if he's unsure about them right now or maybe will be. But I suppose it's good too because he just straight out asked Scorpius to go with him to the wedding, like BAM. I was taken aback and AHH I grinned for ages. Like I said before, Lysander had the potential within him to mope but I'm so glad he's not ♥ AHH I'M SO GLAD THEY'RE GOING TOGETHER.

Though I bet you're gonna do something really mean. Like...Chapter Four: Lysander woke up and it was all a dream.

I WOULD DIE :(

Hahahaha I can't wait for the next one :'D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura, I'll let you in on a lovely little secret: your review has inspired the actual sit-down-and-write-the-bleep-out-of-this part of writing the next chapter. You are so, so marvelous, and I cannot begin to describe how motivating you are! I'm about 3/4ths of the way through it right now, and I keep checking back on this review so I'll finish it!

I'm also not quite sure how to respond. It's all just so lovely and GAH you are amazing. I guess I'll go bit-by-bit.

I'm so glad it's not cliche/over dramatic! That was a big concern - obviously I wanted the two to talk, but I didn't want it to be like "SO I'M GAY AND WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU NOW." And in my head, Scorpius is a lot more confident and good-looking than Lysander is, but that doesn't make him arrogant or out of Lysander's league. I'm glad you like that, too!

I'm actually really pleased that you don't like Scorpius as much as Lysander! I think you're almost not supposed to - Lysander is the main character, in my eyes, and Scorpius is there to mix things up (either in a bad way or a good way, we'll see).

Ha, yes, Lysander definitely has to analyze absolutely everything, even the sound of metal on metal. In terms of "keeping it up," it's really just the style I'm used to with this novel - before I start writing anything, I'll read a few chapters before it and get myself as comfortably as possible into Lysander's head, and then the analyzing bits normally come naturally. Normally.

YOU UNDERSTAND LYSANDER SO WELL it just kills me. In a good way, of course. Gah. I admire your perceptive powers, m'dear.

Ha, I wouldn't be that mean! All a dream. That's definitely a cop-out. :P

All my love,
Rin


 Report Review

Review #37, by tangledconstellations730 Whispers: one for each night

28th August 2012:
Hey lovely,

Thought I'd drop by to give this one a little review!

Lavender is such a unique character. I know what you mean about her being super annoying in the books, but then despite that she was a person in the same way Harry and Ron and Hermione were. It was kind of nice to have her story here, how you imagine it to be.

Your writing is so hypnotic and super effective - I kinda wish this was longer! Nevertheless though, this was lovely and has made me rethink the Lavender in my mind :) beautiful!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Eep, thank you! :) I have a soft spot for all of the minor characters in the books, especially as I've tried to look at the HP wars from different perspectives over the year. Glad you enjoyed it! ^__^

 Report Review

Review #38, by tangledconstellationsJust Rose: They'd Overdone It A Bit

4th August 2012:
Helloo again!

I kinda feel bad for Scorpius. I know I probably shouldn't right now, and yeah, he is overly creepy and he does have slicked back hair, but I guess he does really like Rose, and that's kinda cute! I could have died when he overheard them badmouthing him. I felt so bad for him! But then at the same time - he was at the window!?! And Molly...she is the best. In the worst way possible. She is cheeky and she is a busybody and I love her for it. Without her, how on earth is Rose actually going to do anything?!

I'm really enjoying this! Like I said before, no part of this feels forced or false or anything. Rose is instantly likable, not just because she's geeky and relatable. I like that she is a bit too hotheaded and that she's awkward. Your writing just makes it seem that much more genuine. This just really stands out against all the romcoms I've read before, because of little things that make it real...like, the way instead of blushing cutely and inappropriately once or twice to make the character endearing, Rose blushes profusely and gets all flustered. Which is SO realistic. I don't think I have ever blushed in an adorable manner. I tend to look like I've been working out when I'm embarrassed. So many things about this so far just make it stand out and make me love your characters :)

I kind of like that at this point Rose has made no impression what so ever on Teddy. It makes me think about all those times (we've all been there) I've spent hopelessly thinking about one guy...until I would realise how much time has passed and nothing has happened, haha x) Because we don't know that much about Teddy just yet I kind of get the impression he's almost unattainable and so far ahead and I guess out of Rose's league in a way - but then the fact that this story is about Rose's crush on Teddy it makes me all excited because we're going to find out more about him and they'll start chatting and eep!

This is great :D hopefully I will get round to reading some more soon - but I kinda feel bad about neglecting my review thread, so I think I'll send it some loving before I visit chapter 3! Can't wait to carry on though :)

Laura xxx

 Report Review

Review #39, by tangledconstellationsJust Rose: Let Them Eat Cake

4th August 2012:
Hey, lovely!

You posted on twitter that you wanted to reach 400 reviews, so here I am!

I have always wanted to properly read this fic - its one of the names that I hear about all the time but I've never quite got round to really settling down and reading it. This first chapter, though, was so ace, and so funny. It was so much more effortless and honest and in a way more realistic than a lot of the humour's I see on HPFF, because sometimes they come across as quite forced. But Rose is just perfect - flawed, but not annoyingly so, and I bet really kindhearted too. It's gonna be an interesting story!

Next-gen's are always so cool because you have all these complicated family ties to really make your own. I felt like you did that so well here! Teddy and Victoire - ugh I can just imagine them now, looking perfect together. Probably wearing matching outfits or at least complimenting colour palettes, hahaha. Because this has so much Rose/Teddy potential, I am so excited to read on. Anything with Teddy in is just beautiful! I love the way he hasn't spoken yet though - it makes me feel all the more as though Rose is well and truly cutting herself off from him. Does he really have no idea? Oh, Rose. Tell him! Tell him!

:D can't wait to keep going with this!

Laura xxx

 Report Review

Review #40, by tangledconstellationsNothing Else Matters: Chapter Six - Severus

4th August 2012:
Hey again!

I've reached the end! :( Oh no! I'm going to be one of those really annoying reviewers and say UPDATE SOON UPDATE SOON! :P

You warned me about potential Sirius-slating in this chapter, and even though I am secretly a massive Sirius fan, I really really liked this chapter, and it was actually kind of fun and interesting to see him portrayed in such a bad light. I only ever really read him when it's pro-Sirius, so in terms of expanding my reading horizons - thank you! Your take on him is really refreshing actually. In the books he is kinda mopey and actually a little scary and out of control but they're character aspects I usually brush over and cover with, 'oh well he was in Azkaban', haha! But here you've drawn the attention on to the fact that he is as stubborn as he was when he was younger and he is hotheaded (not an attractive quality). Sure, I guess it is from Sev's point of view so it is a little biased, but at the same time it's very rarely that Sev gets a point of view like this and he is the one we all thought was bad and was actually good! In the books Harry like, idolises Sirius' every move in a really child-like way, but I felt as though this chapter was really rational and contrary to the usual Sirius interpretations. It was great!

As this is chapter six, you can really tell the initial rose-tinted introductions have worn away by now, and there are going to be all sorts of spanners in the works. You left me on the edge of my seat at the last chapter, feeling as though something really awful was going to happen. And, alas, you've done the same here! This was something I was worried about - the Order coming between Avrille and Severus. I hope they find a balance soon. Him not being able to tell what she's thinking, and her not wanting to tell him - heartbreak central! I kind of wished that at the end of this chapter Severus could have told her about the prophecy, about everything...but then I guess he is trying to protect her. But is he making it worse by not telling her? I don't know. Because then I think of Char and Avrille's responsibility, and SEV'S responsibility too...gah! It's so confusing and difficult. And that much, at least, you have shown so well. It will always be impossible for these characters to decide how to act and decide to speak when they should or shouldn't, because they are in such a unique and difficult position.

This chapter was ever so snazzy though because it felt so vibrant. I loved your introductions to all of the Order members - it'd be great to compare them to Harry's idyllic portrayal of them in the books! There is something quite liberating about viewing all of these scenes again but from an alternative viewpoint. Like, Harry, having his massive rant! I loved that part. In the books it is just so intense but here he's just a nuisance - which I guess he would have been when he was throwing his strops :P At this point, I think you have converted me to being a Sev-lover. I NEVER thought I would say it...but here I am! Haha! No, but in all seriousness there is a wisdom to Severus and like I said earlier, a responsibility (though this time to Harry and Dumbledore etc and not just his family) that he has got to uphold and maintain. He is a very strong character, very strong indeed. My respect for him just doubles with each chapter.

This was great, honestly :) your story is so absorbing and I am excited as to which direction you're going to lead it now. My heart has gone out to Avrille, Char and Sev and I want things to be okay for them, really truly! But yes, another fantastic chapter. Do let me know when you manage to update because I can't wait to read on :)

Laura :) xxx

Author's Response: Hi hi! Sorry for the couple day late reply again. It's been hit or miss with my toddler wanting to take a nap and it's totally impossible to sit down and write something coherent when he's awake, even a review reply. That's part of the reason I've written...oh...NOTHING of the next chapter yet :( But hopefully the bug will bite me again soon. It's nice to know there are nice people out there like you looking forward to more, but then once in a while like right now the pressure makes me kind of shut down and procrastinate. Works in progress are HARD!

So I'm really glad you didn't think I was overly critical of Sirius. I assume most people who read my stories are big Snape fans so might dislike Sirius like I do because of what a jerk he was to Snape in the books, but there are obviously also people who like both characters. I definitely don't like Sirius but also didn't want to bash him for no reason. He had lots of good qualities like being smart, determined, protective and stubborn when he thinks he's right. Oh...wait, much like Severus! Hence why I think they dislike each other so much in my mind. What you mentioned about giving Sirius a lot of leeway because of Azkaban is a very good point, and something I'm bringing up whenever I get around to writing the next chapter so Sirius is portrayed in a more balanced way. Of course Severus is going to only see the bad things because he doesn't think the excuse of having something bad happen to you is a good enough reason to act however you want. Severus probably views Sirius as being weak because he can't move past what he went through (which I think is a little harsh because, yes, Severus had a hard life but being tortured for 13 years is unimaginable.) Avrille's view of Sirius is tainted by her love for Severus and his built-in prejudices (a similar thing happened in the first story with regards to Harry) so she's going to have to learn from others that Sirius isn't all bad like he's been acting and how Severus sees him.

The Order is definitely going to cause some problems between them. It would be unrealistic to think everything would be ok with them in this book because they're both under an insane amount of pressure for different reasons. Severus is literally risking his life on to of dealing with regular school stuff and Avrille feels very trapped and useless since she's stuck at home with Char when in the past she was able to rush off and be a heroine.

I guess since I read the books in my 20's, I always viewed the characters slightly differently than people who started the books as children themselves. I ALWAYS thought Sirius was irresponsible and hotheaded while teenagers might have idolized him at first, like you said Harry did. I also always found Harry's outburst so annoying in this book even though I get it's because Voldemort's mood is affecting him. But it still felt nice to throw that little barb about his wizard angst in there.

So as I've said over and over, thank you so much for your reviews. They really helped me a ton. Hopefully I can shake this writer's block I have soon. It's not even like I don't know what to do... I guess I'm just really tired so it's hard to find the right words to describe the scenes in my head. Thanks again and I'll definitely be requesting whenever I'm able to post a new chapter!
~Renny


 Report Review

Review #41, by tangledconstellationsErebus: always watching

1st August 2012:
Hello lovely!

I decided to read this one-shot because I thought the pairing was really interesting - I've always wanted to read a Tom/Minerva, but have never found one that captures my imagination - until this one! I really really liked this, probably because to me it was totally believable and you remained incredibly canon - something I respect very much! Even so, you managed to take quite a unique ship and really make it interesting and actually totally understandable, because of course things don't work out for these two.

I was actually amazed by the subtle characterisations of Minerva and Tom. You write so amazingly well! I love that Tom is so strangely detached from the reader here, but at the same time Minerva is too. It kind of shows that in a way they are similar because they are quite introverted and so absorbed in study. It also reflected the time period a lot too though. I liked the part where Minerva took down her hair despite 'not usually doing that in public' - it felt very proper, very ladylike. I also really liked the way the two spoke to each other. They were very courteous, and not gushy or anything. It made me think that this is ship that isn't destined to work, and I love your take on it. I sometimes forget that Tom is like, THE Voldemort, but here your portrayal of him was very, very good and so well written. The way he watches and smiles to himself...it's quite unnerving, and does hint at his crazy psycho side, haha! It was also so interesting the way you included poignant events of their year, like the murder of the Riddles and Myrtle being killed - his reaction was flawless each time.

I really, really liked this. It's given me food for thought and has really left an impression on me. Ultimately, despite the things they have in common the two of them are so different. I think your last two lines really summed that up so well :)

Laura xxx

 Report Review

Review #42, by tangledconstellationsComptine d'été: Comptine d'été

31st July 2012:
Hello, lovely!

I thought I'd pop by and give you a little review for this piece! It was ever so lovely, and I really did like this. The tone was so gentle and steady - it made me feel all lazy and warm like a cat in the sunshine or something :) I think you write fluff pretty well! Yet, even though this is squishy and nice, your writing is still so delicate and pretty. I can't explain it, but this piece feels quiet, as though every tiny moment and sight is magnified one thousand times. I loved this: Then, once again, they’ll separate like spider from web, joined by a single thread - and how you used it earlier on, too. It's such a unique way of expressing them, and is so imaginative, again making me think about the consideration that's gone into this, even if it isn't overly long.

Another thing that really made me smile about this was the way everything seemed to be personified and thought about - just like the spider simile - even down to the weather. "The evening breeze tucks itself..." is such a gorgeous way to start your paragraph, just because it makes the elements that much more alive and personal. This whole piece was just so gorgeous - really truly :)

Laura xxx

 Report Review

Review #43, by tangledconstellationsGame: The Last Match

29th July 2012:
OH, LOVE.

THIS WAS THE MOST PERFECT ENDING TO EVERYTHING I'VE EVER NEEDED IN MY LIFE EVER.

Honestly, since I started reading this fic I have been addicted. I have actually been thinking about it when I haven't been reading it! At work today, while tidying the sale rail (I work in retail!) I was conjuring up possible endings for this, and DREADING reaching this point, but at the same time as being SO excited, too!

This is such a triumph of a fic. You should be so proud of this, even if it is a little older now compared to the recent stuff you're writing at the mo. It doesn't make this any less brilliant. The sheer number of reviews is so impressive already and should just show you how many people have adored Rona and Oliver and Penny and Hannah and Roger and and and and. everyone, as much as I have! I've always been a little daunted to read fics that have so many reviews; there are so many epic stories on HPFF that I know I've got to get round to reading at some point, because they've got to be amazing to get so much feedback. This is one of them! I'm glad I've read it. Be so proud of yourself. Please do be. You really are an incredible writer.

This was...amazing. Fun and funky and fluffy and fab. I'll definitely be checking out the sequel in the future. But right now - thank you for this :'} the most perfect ending to the most perfect fic.

Laura xxx

Author's Response: YOUR FANGIRL

HAS MADE ALL MY DAYS

SO MUCH.

Like you can't see me, but as I'm responding, every few words, I just flail my hands up, because I don't know how to translate that into my response. But I am physically flailing, I thought you ought to know.

I've grown up with Game. It was my first piece of writing. I rewrote so much of it, went back and edited it even months after it was completed. The great thing is, looking into my other writing, I can see how themes in my other stories have branched out from stuff I wrote in Game that I didn't expand upon as much as I wanted to. I think as old as Game will ever get, I'll always love it. It's like a home :D

Bahaha, the sequel really isn't much. I really mean it when I say it's a short story collection of mindless fluff so, it's like ah... a coffee break sized piece of fun? xD It's random cute stuff I just want to post because I have it, aha. I think I will write more of it next year though. Game/Play is the story that follows my own life the most, and now that I'm crossing into adulthood and I'm starting to learn what it's like to live on my own, I can write that for Rona too. That's more of the overarching theme of that one.

AHHH Thank you so so much again :33 ♥ ♥ ♥


 Report Review

Review #44, by tangledconstellationsGame: Intervention Convention

29th July 2012:
You are such a little monkey! I totally thought something AWFUL was going to happen, basing it from all the enigmatic hints in your authors responses and authors notes...except now it's a 'happy epilogue-esque frolic through the Ravenclaw - Gryffindor game!' :D :D :D i cannot wait for ittt!

This chapter was so wonderful and i love that you tied up all the loose ends. Finally, there is peace between Rona and Roger! And Rona and Oliver...and just generally RONA AND THE WORLD. :} so many hilarious one liners in this chapter. and beautiful moments - Oliver squishing her from behind! I melted. this was really lovely :'}

Eep, so on to the last chapter! Irregardless of the fact that it will be over, i bet in the future i'll return to this fic again and again :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: BWAHAHA. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if I made something terrible happen, but on the other hand, I love a happy ending ;D

IT'S LIKE ONE STEP AWAY FROM WORLD PEACE~ kind of. I just want to group hug everyone :3

♥ gahh I AM JUST SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!~


 Report Review

Review #45, by tangledconstellationsGame: Everyone but the Girl

29th July 2012:
YOU CAN MAKE IT OLIVER. KEEP GOING. *plays chariots of fire*

Oliver's viewpoint really worked so well here. You can kinda see how stubborn they are BOTH being. {: if he had thrown that clock i swear i would have punched him. then steered him in the direction of Rona. i love the way that neither Oliver or Rona are the bad ones in this situation. usually with like, 'couples conflict' theres always one you can kinda blame, but this is so teenagery and so real and honest. the amount of times me and my own boyfriend have fallen out (though admittedly not over Quidditch) and neither of us know who is right or wrong - it's just so real. i love that Oliver does so obviously care, though :'}

ALSO - PERCY. YAY! i feel as though he properly gets a moment in the spotlight here, and i love him a million percent. he is so sarky and pompous i want to wrap him in a blanket and squish him!

on to the next one! eeep!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: You totally made me relive the days when I first posted this chapter 8D I got flooded with RUN OLIVER RUN! reviews and it was totally like there was this cheering section in made up of my readers and it was the best thing ever. ♥

And hee, I'm thinking you read my response earlier, but yes, I totally looked at my own couple conflicts with the bf. I remember in the beginning, most of them were the little things we don't even realize we're doing, especially when an issue is a bigger deal to one person than the other. Those are the hardest things to learn.

Hee, I had such fun writing Percy 8D He has his concerns in the right order.



 Report Review

Review #46, by tangledconstellationsGame: No One Plays to Lose

29th July 2012:
ARGH!!!

You are SO mean!! First, I think that they're together forever and everything is rosy, THEN there's a hiccup but its OKAY they'll fix it. NOW - I don't know what to do with myself! Ronaaa, I want to cuddle you and make you not sad, and I want to pet Oliver on the head and somehow set them up all over again just like at Hogsmeade.

But I suppose that despite how utterly heartwrenching this chapter was, it has shown that Oliver wasn't just using her. Which is some comfort. But now, he needs to get down off his high horse, and Rona has to really try, and I mean REALLY try (*shakes fist at Rona*) to get them to work. Her last line actually cut me like a knife, it was so resigned and painful :(

I have to leave for work in approximately 8 minutes, so I won't be able to read the last three chapters right now, but hopefully later! Except, I don't really want to read them, because then it'll be over... :( *cries*

Laura xxx

Author's Response: I can't guarantee anything can be rosy with three chapters left! Or two. Or one. Or even the end 8D That is how I roll.

I always *always* want to pet Oliver on the head. But yes, everyone needs a hug and Hogsmeade right now :c

It was terrifically hard to write this chapter, I remember. It was my first angsty bit. My beta friend held my hand the whole way. I wanted to show what I thought fights in relationships really are like; so often they're just tiny miscommunications, things unsaid, and both sides being unreasonable.

Eep, I hope you can read the rest soon! Not the brightest chapter to end on 8D



 Report Review

Review #47, by tangledconstellationsNothing Else Matters: Chapter Five - Avrille

28th July 2012:
Hello again!

Sorry about the really long delay between reviews. :( I feel so bad about it! It's been almost 2 weeks since you requested! I've been so busy and sleepy recently - I think its the un-English hot weather! But here I am, hopefully with a solid review to put your worries about this chapter (and the next) to rest.

I really, really liked this chapter. I think probably so far it's one of my favourites. Sure, it was shorter than the others but it was a length that complimented the rest of the chapters. It was like a breather, or, (Ok, I'm about to quote Gandalf) "the deep breath before the plunge". I don't think it came across as stunted or forced or anything - because I know you've mentioned that you found this one difficult to write. I guess if I really looked into it, I could sense a hesitation with continuing with the heavy plot lines, probably because of the things you've indicated - that the material wasn't fresh in your mind. Don't dwell on that though! An ordinary reader wouldn't pick up on that (because you won't have told them that in 'critique focuses' (; hehe) and instead it just feels as though the dynamics of this story are just very, very well timed.

I've said before that you do a wonderful job of consolidating the relationship between Avrille and Severus, but here you exceeded that by a million percent. This wasn't clouded with actions scenes or a menacing plot to switch to; instead you've given us a hefty, enjoyable and tangible snapshot of them together instead of it being a passing phrase to set the atmosphere (which in the context of the other chapters wasn't bad either!). It was very, very comforting and inviting, and yet coupled with the sense of foreboding Avrille feels at the end it was exciting too. Especially as I haven't read the story that precedes this, I found the mention of bits and bobs that have gone on before really helpful and insightful, such as about Severus' family. (I really do need to read it!!) It colours the story so much more because this isn't stand alone and brand new, in a way - its something returned to and repolished and picked up. But I think that's one thing that is so effective in this story - the characters have a background and history from their trials that went before this. Especially in this chapter, you drawing on that, on events that went before this, you've managed to keep the flow going and have tied this chapter in really well.

Agh, you attention to detail again astounds me so much! I wish I could write like you! There are so many parts of this, even if it's something one of them mentions, that makes me think you've covered every possibility for the way they might act and talk, and decided on the best one and made it match the story. The way Sev and Avrille interact is just amazing. And I love the way you write Char. Do you have children of your own? I would be so bad at writing toddler scenes, but you make Char seem so small and fun and curious, just like he would be.

Okay, so right now, take all of those worries you have about this chapter being inconsistent and put them in your hand. Gather them up from floating around your brain and squeeze them into a ball. Are you doing it? Oi - no, actually do it!! I don't care if you look silly. Got it? Ok. Then - chuck the ball into the nearest bin.

This chapter was brilliant, Renny! Honestly :) it flows on from the next one just as perfectly as I knew it would even before I clicked "Chapter Five - Avrille".

:D Laura x

Author's Response: You really need to stop apologizing about the "delay" in between reviews :) I have no right to complain (not that I want to at all!) when you're doing me such a huge favor offering your time and advice. It sounds like you're really busy this summer, so I appreciate it even more.

So I normally don't indulge in annoying net-speak, but OMG Gandalf quote! :) It's been too long since I've read LotR. I should remedy that. I'm so so so glad this chapter came across just as how you thought it did, as a breath before the plunge. I'm sure you can guess just from knowing stuff from the OotP book that some tough things are in store for my characters, and I definitely wanted them to have at least one solid happy memory to look back on when things get difficult. This was pretty much their last chance to do whatever they want before Umbridge descends on the school. I feel like her arrival at Hogwarts is really the moment where stuff starts to get bad in canon. Voldemort coming back a few months earlier was horrible of course, but Umbridge's presence at Hogwarts removes that sense of security a lot of people in the story had. Like Harry, Severus and Avrille both view Hogwarts as their home, not just a place of employment, so it's going to be even more difficult for Severus in particular to not even have that to come back to after dealing with Voldemort.

Ugh, so glad as well this chapter didn't read as forced at all. I felt like I was banging my head off of things trying to write it. I knew exactly what I wanted, but finding the words was so hard. Probably cause like I said, I have an 18 month old little boy. He's amazing for source material but leaves me sort of unable to do anything except lie on the couch and watch tv once he's in bed. I don't think I would have been able to write babies or toddlers (or the way moms feel) accurately before having a baby myself. It's one reason I'm so glad I waited four years after finishing the last story to start this one. It worked out so coincidentally (random fact, the date used to calculate my due date ended up being Avrille's birthday and I was due on Severus's birthday! WEIRD!) If you ever want any insight into the toddler mind, let me know ;) I actually ended up not exaggerating too much when I wrote Char likes to climb bookcases *face palm*

As far as details, thank goodness for the internet. I've never been to England sadly, so I had no idea what the Hampshire coast would look like. Hopefully it will come across as realistic in the slight chance anyone from the area ever reads that :) I always really liked that property I thought up for Severus's family to have owned, so it was fun to expand it a bit.

Ok, doubts have been binned. Now I just need to get in a writing mood again. The chapter after this one got written in less than two weeks, so I got sort of paralyzed by how fast that was and haven't even started the next one. I feel like I can move forward now, even if it's slow and slightly torturous to me like this chapter :)

Thanks again so incredibly much, Laura. It helped me immensely to have an objective review of this chapter. I hope you like the next one (and aren't too offended if you're a Sirius fan). If you don't mind in the future, I'll keep putting in for a review when I get a chapter done. Your feedback has been invaluable! Truly! ~Renny


 Report Review

Review #48, by tangledconstellationsGame: Happenstance Happens Entirely Too Often

26th July 2012:
No, no, no! Two fluff chapters in a row are perfect perfect perfect! ♥

Omg, I don't know if I want to read the next chapter, because I'm so scared that something will go wrong. I also vote that something magical should happen at a later party...and also, I think Oliver in the towel from the previous chapter should be his permanent attire. Just some suggestions, you know~

Hahaha, love this fic, and I can't wait for moreee :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: There are seven chapters of landmines left to go through! Only seven, -cough-

Indeed, there can never be enough Oliver-in-a-towel ;D never. never ever.



 Report Review

Review #49, by tangledconstellationsGame: Convoluted is an Understatement

26th July 2012:
Agh:
- I love that there's a new plot thread, with thoughts of a later career and such. I love that you've tied it in too with stuff you mentioned earlier on. I get the impression Rona is burying her head in the sand a bit, but this wakeup call was brilliant - because she is good!
- OLIVER. just. Oliver. I can't even. And. Ugh. THEM. together. PLEASE make it happen! :'}

Eep!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: OH YES, the other thing I stuffed in the kitchen sink - career choices. It was especially because I was on the cusp of college when I was writing, so it was pretty much what was on my mind at the time.

I would say that since I love fluff, that your second point would be likely, but then I realized I actually have a terrible track record of getting my couples together ;D But you shall see!


 Report Review

Review #50, by tangledconstellationsGame: In Which Oliver is Sensitive

26th July 2012:
Haha, I loved this whole chapter. "In Which Oliver is Sensitive". I think I'm head over heels for both of them. I have literally just swept through six chapters...this is so darn good!

I kinda like that everything each character says is pretty much a big fat lie. It makes the story so much more interesting, because they're both as bad as each other! Little monkeys. I was surprised when they made up - but I love you and I love this a million times more now that I realise they probably won't ever PROPERLY make up, haha! ;D it was nice to see Oliver actually be troubled by Rona though - girl power, in a way!

Can't wait for moreee :D xx

Author's Response: Bahaha the web of lies was too much for me, believe it or not. It was what I had the most trouble with every single time I edited this thing, because I would swear that it didn't make sense!

All of my characters have a serious problem with apologizing aha. This is a complete reflection of myself. I would rather shove cake at people and hope it makes things better xD



 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>