Reading Reviews From Member: tangledconstellations
191 Reviews Found

Review #26, by tangledconstellationsChristmas in Prison: Christmas in Prison

28th August 2012:
A little review for a beautiful one-shot (:

I stumbled across this one and genuinely did fall in love with it! It's so lovely. It's so calm but so stormy and I think you've captured Draco's anxiousness so well. It must have been awful in his shoes. Luna too - the way she slips into desperation. :( so powerful, considering she is so airy most of the time. By the end of this I kind of felt numb, just because I felt so much for each of the characters in such a short time. This slips back into canon so well too - it was just brilliant.

Your writing is just so wonderful and I really should read more of your things :} ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: eee thank you! it was a wee bit hard to write, so it's always so lovely to get positive feedback on this one. I've written Draco and Luna countless times but I still struggle with both characterisations so this fic was especially tricky in parts. I'm so glad you liked it and that you felt for the characters :3 thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #27, by tangledconstellationsMagnolia Street: Tumbling, Suddenly

28th August 2012:
A Belated Review for a Beautiful Rin!

Okay, so now that I gave you your sensible feedback via pm the other week, I can legitimately FREAK OUT with excitement over this chapter in this review and rewrite the whole thing with AHHH's in between! First of all though I am SO SORRY it took me forever and a day to get round to posting on here. I forgot to do it before I went on holiday, and then I was going to do it ON holiday but I only had my rubbish iPhone screen so I HAD TO WAIT :( but here I am!

I honestly thought that meeting Scorpius and really having them chatting would be a little more drawn out than this, but I am SO GLAD it's not. This is perfect. Brilliant timing and the best way ever to poke this story along :) They are just too insanely cute. They're both antisocial dorks getting drunk in an antisocial dorky pub and I'm happy this is by no means cliche/too over-dramatic right now. You could have made this all unrequited and everything, where they never talk ever again but I'm glad that they are talking and have the opportunity to know each other! I'm glad that Scorpius isn't too out of his league or anything, too, or doesn't think he is at least, because I just WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BEAR THAT. SO GLAD he's not a douche. The last chapter was great in really getting to know Lysander (and he is a lovely chappy) but I feel as though in this one we know Scorpius more. Like, he's a bit brash sometimes and his confidence has got to be a facade. I kind of like that I don't like him as much as Lysander. I feel like an overprotective mother with him hahaha. But in the same way, to be drinking alone in a bar with just his thoughts - it makes me wonder if Scorpius is okay after all. And then I think of how much Lysander can SAVE HIM and I get so stupidly excited about the next chapters and how everything has got to be okayy ♥

I am so amazed and inspired too by the way you keep up the Lysander-ish tone of the narrative. Everything is very black and white and grey with Ly. Like, the way you described the sign: 'There was a shrill singing of metal on metal, a sound that was almost familiar and yet strangely unsettling'. He has to analyse the sound and liken it to something and know why it makes that noise and just think so much about everything. There are so many bits like this that you include that just make me think 'wow, how do you remember to keep this all up?'. It's really refreshing because then I feel like I'm not just reading a fanfic, I'm reading Lysander's story, full of his quirks and habits and character. It is just really lovely and really inspiring.

I really liked, too, the way Lysander had more of a voice. It was as though this confidence just blossomed out of him for some reason. He was so frank when talking to Scorpius, like when he pretty much admitted that he feels second best to his brother. Would he have normally said this? I'm glad all these fiery feelings are being voiced, even if he's unsure about them right now or maybe will be. But I suppose it's good too because he just straight out asked Scorpius to go with him to the wedding, like BAM. I was taken aback and AHH I grinned for ages. Like I said before, Lysander had the potential within him to mope but I'm so glad he's not ♥ AHH I'M SO GLAD THEY'RE GOING TOGETHER.

Though I bet you're gonna do something really mean. Like...Chapter Four: Lysander woke up and it was all a dream.


Hahahaha I can't wait for the next one :'D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura, I'll let you in on a lovely little secret: your review has inspired the actual sit-down-and-write-the-bleep-out-of-this part of writing the next chapter. You are so, so marvelous, and I cannot begin to describe how motivating you are! I'm about 3/4ths of the way through it right now, and I keep checking back on this review so I'll finish it!

I'm also not quite sure how to respond. It's all just so lovely and GAH you are amazing. I guess I'll go bit-by-bit.

I'm so glad it's not cliche/over dramatic! That was a big concern - obviously I wanted the two to talk, but I didn't want it to be like "SO I'M GAY AND WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU NOW." And in my head, Scorpius is a lot more confident and good-looking than Lysander is, but that doesn't make him arrogant or out of Lysander's league. I'm glad you like that, too!

I'm actually really pleased that you don't like Scorpius as much as Lysander! I think you're almost not supposed to - Lysander is the main character, in my eyes, and Scorpius is there to mix things up (either in a bad way or a good way, we'll see).

Ha, yes, Lysander definitely has to analyze absolutely everything, even the sound of metal on metal. In terms of "keeping it up," it's really just the style I'm used to with this novel - before I start writing anything, I'll read a few chapters before it and get myself as comfortably as possible into Lysander's head, and then the analyzing bits normally come naturally. Normally.

YOU UNDERSTAND LYSANDER SO WELL it just kills me. In a good way, of course. Gah. I admire your perceptive powers, m'dear.

Ha, I wouldn't be that mean! All a dream. That's definitely a cop-out. :P

All my love,

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Review #28, by tangledconstellations730 Whispers: one for each night

28th August 2012:
Hey lovely,

Thought I'd drop by to give this one a little review!

Lavender is such a unique character. I know what you mean about her being super annoying in the books, but then despite that she was a person in the same way Harry and Ron and Hermione were. It was kind of nice to have her story here, how you imagine it to be.

Your writing is so hypnotic and super effective - I kinda wish this was longer! Nevertheless though, this was lovely and has made me rethink the Lavender in my mind :) beautiful!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Eep, thank you! :) I have a soft spot for all of the minor characters in the books, especially as I've tried to look at the HP wars from different perspectives over the year. Glad you enjoyed it! ^__^

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Review #29, by tangledconstellationsJust Rose: They'd Overdone It A Bit

4th August 2012:
Helloo again!

I kinda feel bad for Scorpius. I know I probably shouldn't right now, and yeah, he is overly creepy and he does have slicked back hair, but I guess he does really like Rose, and that's kinda cute! I could have died when he overheard them badmouthing him. I felt so bad for him! But then at the same time - he was at the window!?! And Molly...she is the best. In the worst way possible. She is cheeky and she is a busybody and I love her for it. Without her, how on earth is Rose actually going to do anything?!

I'm really enjoying this! Like I said before, no part of this feels forced or false or anything. Rose is instantly likable, not just because she's geeky and relatable. I like that she is a bit too hotheaded and that she's awkward. Your writing just makes it seem that much more genuine. This just really stands out against all the romcoms I've read before, because of little things that make it, the way instead of blushing cutely and inappropriately once or twice to make the character endearing, Rose blushes profusely and gets all flustered. Which is SO realistic. I don't think I have ever blushed in an adorable manner. I tend to look like I've been working out when I'm embarrassed. So many things about this so far just make it stand out and make me love your characters :)

I kind of like that at this point Rose has made no impression what so ever on Teddy. It makes me think about all those times (we've all been there) I've spent hopelessly thinking about one guy...until I would realise how much time has passed and nothing has happened, haha x) Because we don't know that much about Teddy just yet I kind of get the impression he's almost unattainable and so far ahead and I guess out of Rose's league in a way - but then the fact that this story is about Rose's crush on Teddy it makes me all excited because we're going to find out more about him and they'll start chatting and eep!

This is great :D hopefully I will get round to reading some more soon - but I kinda feel bad about neglecting my review thread, so I think I'll send it some loving before I visit chapter 3! Can't wait to carry on though :)

Laura xxx

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Review #30, by tangledconstellationsJust Rose: Let Them Eat Cake

4th August 2012:
Hey, lovely!

You posted on twitter that you wanted to reach 400 reviews, so here I am!

I have always wanted to properly read this fic - its one of the names that I hear about all the time but I've never quite got round to really settling down and reading it. This first chapter, though, was so ace, and so funny. It was so much more effortless and honest and in a way more realistic than a lot of the humour's I see on HPFF, because sometimes they come across as quite forced. But Rose is just perfect - flawed, but not annoyingly so, and I bet really kindhearted too. It's gonna be an interesting story!

Next-gen's are always so cool because you have all these complicated family ties to really make your own. I felt like you did that so well here! Teddy and Victoire - ugh I can just imagine them now, looking perfect together. Probably wearing matching outfits or at least complimenting colour palettes, hahaha. Because this has so much Rose/Teddy potential, I am so excited to read on. Anything with Teddy in is just beautiful! I love the way he hasn't spoken yet though - it makes me feel all the more as though Rose is well and truly cutting herself off from him. Does he really have no idea? Oh, Rose. Tell him! Tell him!

:D can't wait to keep going with this!

Laura xxx

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Review #31, by tangledconstellationsNothing Else Matters: Chapter Six - Severus

4th August 2012:
Hey again!

I've reached the end! :( Oh no! I'm going to be one of those really annoying reviewers and say UPDATE SOON UPDATE SOON! :P

You warned me about potential Sirius-slating in this chapter, and even though I am secretly a massive Sirius fan, I really really liked this chapter, and it was actually kind of fun and interesting to see him portrayed in such a bad light. I only ever really read him when it's pro-Sirius, so in terms of expanding my reading horizons - thank you! Your take on him is really refreshing actually. In the books he is kinda mopey and actually a little scary and out of control but they're character aspects I usually brush over and cover with, 'oh well he was in Azkaban', haha! But here you've drawn the attention on to the fact that he is as stubborn as he was when he was younger and he is hotheaded (not an attractive quality). Sure, I guess it is from Sev's point of view so it is a little biased, but at the same time it's very rarely that Sev gets a point of view like this and he is the one we all thought was bad and was actually good! In the books Harry like, idolises Sirius' every move in a really child-like way, but I felt as though this chapter was really rational and contrary to the usual Sirius interpretations. It was great!

As this is chapter six, you can really tell the initial rose-tinted introductions have worn away by now, and there are going to be all sorts of spanners in the works. You left me on the edge of my seat at the last chapter, feeling as though something really awful was going to happen. And, alas, you've done the same here! This was something I was worried about - the Order coming between Avrille and Severus. I hope they find a balance soon. Him not being able to tell what she's thinking, and her not wanting to tell him - heartbreak central! I kind of wished that at the end of this chapter Severus could have told her about the prophecy, about everything...but then I guess he is trying to protect her. But is he making it worse by not telling her? I don't know. Because then I think of Char and Avrille's responsibility, and SEV'S responsibility too...gah! It's so confusing and difficult. And that much, at least, you have shown so well. It will always be impossible for these characters to decide how to act and decide to speak when they should or shouldn't, because they are in such a unique and difficult position.

This chapter was ever so snazzy though because it felt so vibrant. I loved your introductions to all of the Order members - it'd be great to compare them to Harry's idyllic portrayal of them in the books! There is something quite liberating about viewing all of these scenes again but from an alternative viewpoint. Like, Harry, having his massive rant! I loved that part. In the books it is just so intense but here he's just a nuisance - which I guess he would have been when he was throwing his strops :P At this point, I think you have converted me to being a Sev-lover. I NEVER thought I would say it...but here I am! Haha! No, but in all seriousness there is a wisdom to Severus and like I said earlier, a responsibility (though this time to Harry and Dumbledore etc and not just his family) that he has got to uphold and maintain. He is a very strong character, very strong indeed. My respect for him just doubles with each chapter.

This was great, honestly :) your story is so absorbing and I am excited as to which direction you're going to lead it now. My heart has gone out to Avrille, Char and Sev and I want things to be okay for them, really truly! But yes, another fantastic chapter. Do let me know when you manage to update because I can't wait to read on :)

Laura :) xxx

Author's Response: Hi hi! Sorry for the couple day late reply again. It's been hit or miss with my toddler wanting to take a nap and it's totally impossible to sit down and write something coherent when he's awake, even a review reply. That's part of the reason I've written...oh...NOTHING of the next chapter yet :( But hopefully the bug will bite me again soon. It's nice to know there are nice people out there like you looking forward to more, but then once in a while like right now the pressure makes me kind of shut down and procrastinate. Works in progress are HARD!

So I'm really glad you didn't think I was overly critical of Sirius. I assume most people who read my stories are big Snape fans so might dislike Sirius like I do because of what a jerk he was to Snape in the books, but there are obviously also people who like both characters. I definitely don't like Sirius but also didn't want to bash him for no reason. He had lots of good qualities like being smart, determined, protective and stubborn when he thinks he's right. Oh...wait, much like Severus! Hence why I think they dislike each other so much in my mind. What you mentioned about giving Sirius a lot of leeway because of Azkaban is a very good point, and something I'm bringing up whenever I get around to writing the next chapter so Sirius is portrayed in a more balanced way. Of course Severus is going to only see the bad things because he doesn't think the excuse of having something bad happen to you is a good enough reason to act however you want. Severus probably views Sirius as being weak because he can't move past what he went through (which I think is a little harsh because, yes, Severus had a hard life but being tortured for 13 years is unimaginable.) Avrille's view of Sirius is tainted by her love for Severus and his built-in prejudices (a similar thing happened in the first story with regards to Harry) so she's going to have to learn from others that Sirius isn't all bad like he's been acting and how Severus sees him.

The Order is definitely going to cause some problems between them. It would be unrealistic to think everything would be ok with them in this book because they're both under an insane amount of pressure for different reasons. Severus is literally risking his life on to of dealing with regular school stuff and Avrille feels very trapped and useless since she's stuck at home with Char when in the past she was able to rush off and be a heroine.

I guess since I read the books in my 20's, I always viewed the characters slightly differently than people who started the books as children themselves. I ALWAYS thought Sirius was irresponsible and hotheaded while teenagers might have idolized him at first, like you said Harry did. I also always found Harry's outburst so annoying in this book even though I get it's because Voldemort's mood is affecting him. But it still felt nice to throw that little barb about his wizard angst in there.

So as I've said over and over, thank you so much for your reviews. They really helped me a ton. Hopefully I can shake this writer's block I have soon. It's not even like I don't know what to do... I guess I'm just really tired so it's hard to find the right words to describe the scenes in my head. Thanks again and I'll definitely be requesting whenever I'm able to post a new chapter!

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Review #32, by tangledconstellationsErebus: always watching

1st August 2012:
Hello lovely!

I decided to read this one-shot because I thought the pairing was really interesting - I've always wanted to read a Tom/Minerva, but have never found one that captures my imagination - until this one! I really really liked this, probably because to me it was totally believable and you remained incredibly canon - something I respect very much! Even so, you managed to take quite a unique ship and really make it interesting and actually totally understandable, because of course things don't work out for these two.

I was actually amazed by the subtle characterisations of Minerva and Tom. You write so amazingly well! I love that Tom is so strangely detached from the reader here, but at the same time Minerva is too. It kind of shows that in a way they are similar because they are quite introverted and so absorbed in study. It also reflected the time period a lot too though. I liked the part where Minerva took down her hair despite 'not usually doing that in public' - it felt very proper, very ladylike. I also really liked the way the two spoke to each other. They were very courteous, and not gushy or anything. It made me think that this is ship that isn't destined to work, and I love your take on it. I sometimes forget that Tom is like, THE Voldemort, but here your portrayal of him was very, very good and so well written. The way he watches and smiles to's quite unnerving, and does hint at his crazy psycho side, haha! It was also so interesting the way you included poignant events of their year, like the murder of the Riddles and Myrtle being killed - his reaction was flawless each time.

I really, really liked this. It's given me food for thought and has really left an impression on me. Ultimately, despite the things they have in common the two of them are so different. I think your last two lines really summed that up so well :)

Laura xxx

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Review #33, by tangledconstellationsComptine d'été: Comptine d'été

31st July 2012:
Hello, lovely!

I thought I'd pop by and give you a little review for this piece! It was ever so lovely, and I really did like this. The tone was so gentle and steady - it made me feel all lazy and warm like a cat in the sunshine or something :) I think you write fluff pretty well! Yet, even though this is squishy and nice, your writing is still so delicate and pretty. I can't explain it, but this piece feels quiet, as though every tiny moment and sight is magnified one thousand times. I loved this: Then, once again, they’ll separate like spider from web, joined by a single thread - and how you used it earlier on, too. It's such a unique way of expressing them, and is so imaginative, again making me think about the consideration that's gone into this, even if it isn't overly long.

Another thing that really made me smile about this was the way everything seemed to be personified and thought about - just like the spider simile - even down to the weather. "The evening breeze tucks itself..." is such a gorgeous way to start your paragraph, just because it makes the elements that much more alive and personal. This whole piece was just so gorgeous - really truly :)

Laura xxx

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Review #34, by tangledconstellationsGame: The Last Match

29th July 2012:


Honestly, since I started reading this fic I have been addicted. I have actually been thinking about it when I haven't been reading it! At work today, while tidying the sale rail (I work in retail!) I was conjuring up possible endings for this, and DREADING reaching this point, but at the same time as being SO excited, too!

This is such a triumph of a fic. You should be so proud of this, even if it is a little older now compared to the recent stuff you're writing at the mo. It doesn't make this any less brilliant. The sheer number of reviews is so impressive already and should just show you how many people have adored Rona and Oliver and Penny and Hannah and Roger and and and and. everyone, as much as I have! I've always been a little daunted to read fics that have so many reviews; there are so many epic stories on HPFF that I know I've got to get round to reading at some point, because they've got to be amazing to get so much feedback. This is one of them! I'm glad I've read it. Be so proud of yourself. Please do be. You really are an incredible writer.

This was...amazing. Fun and funky and fluffy and fab. I'll definitely be checking out the sequel in the future. But right now - thank you for this :'} the most perfect ending to the most perfect fic.

Laura xxx

Author's Response: YOUR FANGIRL



Like you can't see me, but as I'm responding, every few words, I just flail my hands up, because I don't know how to translate that into my response. But I am physically flailing, I thought you ought to know.

I've grown up with Game. It was my first piece of writing. I rewrote so much of it, went back and edited it even months after it was completed. The great thing is, looking into my other writing, I can see how themes in my other stories have branched out from stuff I wrote in Game that I didn't expand upon as much as I wanted to. I think as old as Game will ever get, I'll always love it. It's like a home :D

Bahaha, the sequel really isn't much. I really mean it when I say it's a short story collection of mindless fluff so, it's like ah... a coffee break sized piece of fun? xD It's random cute stuff I just want to post because I have it, aha. I think I will write more of it next year though. Game/Play is the story that follows my own life the most, and now that I'm crossing into adulthood and I'm starting to learn what it's like to live on my own, I can write that for Rona too. That's more of the overarching theme of that one.

AHHH Thank you so so much again :33 ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #35, by tangledconstellationsGame: Intervention Convention

29th July 2012:
You are such a little monkey! I totally thought something AWFUL was going to happen, basing it from all the enigmatic hints in your authors responses and authors notes...except now it's a 'happy epilogue-esque frolic through the Ravenclaw - Gryffindor game!' :D :D :D i cannot wait for ittt!

This chapter was so wonderful and i love that you tied up all the loose ends. Finally, there is peace between Rona and Roger! And Rona and Oliver...and just generally RONA AND THE WORLD. :} so many hilarious one liners in this chapter. and beautiful moments - Oliver squishing her from behind! I melted. this was really lovely :'}

Eep, so on to the last chapter! Irregardless of the fact that it will be over, i bet in the future i'll return to this fic again and again :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: BWAHAHA. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if I made something terrible happen, but on the other hand, I love a happy ending ;D

IT'S LIKE ONE STEP AWAY FROM WORLD PEACE~ kind of. I just want to group hug everyone :3


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Review #36, by tangledconstellationsGame: Everyone but the Girl

29th July 2012:
YOU CAN MAKE IT OLIVER. KEEP GOING. *plays chariots of fire*

Oliver's viewpoint really worked so well here. You can kinda see how stubborn they are BOTH being. {: if he had thrown that clock i swear i would have punched him. then steered him in the direction of Rona. i love the way that neither Oliver or Rona are the bad ones in this situation. usually with like, 'couples conflict' theres always one you can kinda blame, but this is so teenagery and so real and honest. the amount of times me and my own boyfriend have fallen out (though admittedly not over Quidditch) and neither of us know who is right or wrong - it's just so real. i love that Oliver does so obviously care, though :'}

ALSO - PERCY. YAY! i feel as though he properly gets a moment in the spotlight here, and i love him a million percent. he is so sarky and pompous i want to wrap him in a blanket and squish him!

on to the next one! eeep!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: You totally made me relive the days when I first posted this chapter 8D I got flooded with RUN OLIVER RUN! reviews and it was totally like there was this cheering section in made up of my readers and it was the best thing ever. ♥

And hee, I'm thinking you read my response earlier, but yes, I totally looked at my own couple conflicts with the bf. I remember in the beginning, most of them were the little things we don't even realize we're doing, especially when an issue is a bigger deal to one person than the other. Those are the hardest things to learn.

Hee, I had such fun writing Percy 8D He has his concerns in the right order.

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Review #37, by tangledconstellationsGame: No One Plays to Lose

29th July 2012:

You are SO mean!! First, I think that they're together forever and everything is rosy, THEN there's a hiccup but its OKAY they'll fix it. NOW - I don't know what to do with myself! Ronaaa, I want to cuddle you and make you not sad, and I want to pet Oliver on the head and somehow set them up all over again just like at Hogsmeade.

But I suppose that despite how utterly heartwrenching this chapter was, it has shown that Oliver wasn't just using her. Which is some comfort. But now, he needs to get down off his high horse, and Rona has to really try, and I mean REALLY try (*shakes fist at Rona*) to get them to work. Her last line actually cut me like a knife, it was so resigned and painful :(

I have to leave for work in approximately 8 minutes, so I won't be able to read the last three chapters right now, but hopefully later! Except, I don't really want to read them, because then it'll be over... :( *cries*

Laura xxx

Author's Response: I can't guarantee anything can be rosy with three chapters left! Or two. Or one. Or even the end 8D That is how I roll.

I always *always* want to pet Oliver on the head. But yes, everyone needs a hug and Hogsmeade right now :c

It was terrifically hard to write this chapter, I remember. It was my first angsty bit. My beta friend held my hand the whole way. I wanted to show what I thought fights in relationships really are like; so often they're just tiny miscommunications, things unsaid, and both sides being unreasonable.

Eep, I hope you can read the rest soon! Not the brightest chapter to end on 8D

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Review #38, by tangledconstellationsNothing Else Matters: Chapter Five - Avrille

28th July 2012:
Hello again!

Sorry about the really long delay between reviews. :( I feel so bad about it! It's been almost 2 weeks since you requested! I've been so busy and sleepy recently - I think its the un-English hot weather! But here I am, hopefully with a solid review to put your worries about this chapter (and the next) to rest.

I really, really liked this chapter. I think probably so far it's one of my favourites. Sure, it was shorter than the others but it was a length that complimented the rest of the chapters. It was like a breather, or, (Ok, I'm about to quote Gandalf) "the deep breath before the plunge". I don't think it came across as stunted or forced or anything - because I know you've mentioned that you found this one difficult to write. I guess if I really looked into it, I could sense a hesitation with continuing with the heavy plot lines, probably because of the things you've indicated - that the material wasn't fresh in your mind. Don't dwell on that though! An ordinary reader wouldn't pick up on that (because you won't have told them that in 'critique focuses' (; hehe) and instead it just feels as though the dynamics of this story are just very, very well timed.

I've said before that you do a wonderful job of consolidating the relationship between Avrille and Severus, but here you exceeded that by a million percent. This wasn't clouded with actions scenes or a menacing plot to switch to; instead you've given us a hefty, enjoyable and tangible snapshot of them together instead of it being a passing phrase to set the atmosphere (which in the context of the other chapters wasn't bad either!). It was very, very comforting and inviting, and yet coupled with the sense of foreboding Avrille feels at the end it was exciting too. Especially as I haven't read the story that precedes this, I found the mention of bits and bobs that have gone on before really helpful and insightful, such as about Severus' family. (I really do need to read it!!) It colours the story so much more because this isn't stand alone and brand new, in a way - its something returned to and repolished and picked up. But I think that's one thing that is so effective in this story - the characters have a background and history from their trials that went before this. Especially in this chapter, you drawing on that, on events that went before this, you've managed to keep the flow going and have tied this chapter in really well.

Agh, you attention to detail again astounds me so much! I wish I could write like you! There are so many parts of this, even if it's something one of them mentions, that makes me think you've covered every possibility for the way they might act and talk, and decided on the best one and made it match the story. The way Sev and Avrille interact is just amazing. And I love the way you write Char. Do you have children of your own? I would be so bad at writing toddler scenes, but you make Char seem so small and fun and curious, just like he would be.

Okay, so right now, take all of those worries you have about this chapter being inconsistent and put them in your hand. Gather them up from floating around your brain and squeeze them into a ball. Are you doing it? Oi - no, actually do it!! I don't care if you look silly. Got it? Ok. Then - chuck the ball into the nearest bin.

This chapter was brilliant, Renny! Honestly :) it flows on from the next one just as perfectly as I knew it would even before I clicked "Chapter Five - Avrille".

:D Laura x

Author's Response: You really need to stop apologizing about the "delay" in between reviews :) I have no right to complain (not that I want to at all!) when you're doing me such a huge favor offering your time and advice. It sounds like you're really busy this summer, so I appreciate it even more.

So I normally don't indulge in annoying net-speak, but OMG Gandalf quote! :) It's been too long since I've read LotR. I should remedy that. I'm so so so glad this chapter came across just as how you thought it did, as a breath before the plunge. I'm sure you can guess just from knowing stuff from the OotP book that some tough things are in store for my characters, and I definitely wanted them to have at least one solid happy memory to look back on when things get difficult. This was pretty much their last chance to do whatever they want before Umbridge descends on the school. I feel like her arrival at Hogwarts is really the moment where stuff starts to get bad in canon. Voldemort coming back a few months earlier was horrible of course, but Umbridge's presence at Hogwarts removes that sense of security a lot of people in the story had. Like Harry, Severus and Avrille both view Hogwarts as their home, not just a place of employment, so it's going to be even more difficult for Severus in particular to not even have that to come back to after dealing with Voldemort.

Ugh, so glad as well this chapter didn't read as forced at all. I felt like I was banging my head off of things trying to write it. I knew exactly what I wanted, but finding the words was so hard. Probably cause like I said, I have an 18 month old little boy. He's amazing for source material but leaves me sort of unable to do anything except lie on the couch and watch tv once he's in bed. I don't think I would have been able to write babies or toddlers (or the way moms feel) accurately before having a baby myself. It's one reason I'm so glad I waited four years after finishing the last story to start this one. It worked out so coincidentally (random fact, the date used to calculate my due date ended up being Avrille's birthday and I was due on Severus's birthday! WEIRD!) If you ever want any insight into the toddler mind, let me know ;) I actually ended up not exaggerating too much when I wrote Char likes to climb bookcases *face palm*

As far as details, thank goodness for the internet. I've never been to England sadly, so I had no idea what the Hampshire coast would look like. Hopefully it will come across as realistic in the slight chance anyone from the area ever reads that :) I always really liked that property I thought up for Severus's family to have owned, so it was fun to expand it a bit.

Ok, doubts have been binned. Now I just need to get in a writing mood again. The chapter after this one got written in less than two weeks, so I got sort of paralyzed by how fast that was and haven't even started the next one. I feel like I can move forward now, even if it's slow and slightly torturous to me like this chapter :)

Thanks again so incredibly much, Laura. It helped me immensely to have an objective review of this chapter. I hope you like the next one (and aren't too offended if you're a Sirius fan). If you don't mind in the future, I'll keep putting in for a review when I get a chapter done. Your feedback has been invaluable! Truly! ~Renny

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Review #39, by tangledconstellationsGame: Happenstance Happens Entirely Too Often

26th July 2012:
No, no, no! Two fluff chapters in a row are perfect perfect perfect! ♥

Omg, I don't know if I want to read the next chapter, because I'm so scared that something will go wrong. I also vote that something magical should happen at a later party...and also, I think Oliver in the towel from the previous chapter should be his permanent attire. Just some suggestions, you know~

Hahaha, love this fic, and I can't wait for moreee :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: There are seven chapters of landmines left to go through! Only seven, -cough-

Indeed, there can never be enough Oliver-in-a-towel ;D never. never ever.

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Review #40, by tangledconstellationsGame: Convoluted is an Understatement

26th July 2012:
- I love that there's a new plot thread, with thoughts of a later career and such. I love that you've tied it in too with stuff you mentioned earlier on. I get the impression Rona is burying her head in the sand a bit, but this wakeup call was brilliant - because she is good!
- OLIVER. just. Oliver. I can't even. And. Ugh. THEM. together. PLEASE make it happen! :'}


Laura xxx

Author's Response: OH YES, the other thing I stuffed in the kitchen sink - career choices. It was especially because I was on the cusp of college when I was writing, so it was pretty much what was on my mind at the time.

I would say that since I love fluff, that your second point would be likely, but then I realized I actually have a terrible track record of getting my couples together ;D But you shall see!

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Review #41, by tangledconstellationsGame: In Which Oliver is Sensitive

26th July 2012:
Haha, I loved this whole chapter. "In Which Oliver is Sensitive". I think I'm head over heels for both of them. I have literally just swept through six chapters...this is so darn good!

I kinda like that everything each character says is pretty much a big fat lie. It makes the story so much more interesting, because they're both as bad as each other! Little monkeys. I was surprised when they made up - but I love you and I love this a million times more now that I realise they probably won't ever PROPERLY make up, haha! ;D it was nice to see Oliver actually be troubled by Rona though - girl power, in a way!

Can't wait for moreee :D xx

Author's Response: Bahaha the web of lies was too much for me, believe it or not. It was what I had the most trouble with every single time I edited this thing, because I would swear that it didn't make sense!

All of my characters have a serious problem with apologizing aha. This is a complete reflection of myself. I would rather shove cake at people and hope it makes things better xD

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Review #42, by tangledconstellationsGame: Well, That was Unexpected

26th July 2012:
AHH. I don't quite know what else to say other than AHH and OMG and OLIVERWUT?!

This was such a good chapter, and I think I am officially in love with this fic. :D

Oliver is so creepy but he's also so shmexi and it's like...gah. This review sucks. I want to read moree! This is awesomee!


Author's Response: LOL CREEPY AND SEXY. Actually all of my leading men are creeps, now that I think about it. Well, there is definitely no perching on windows.

♥ ahh I'm so glad you like it! ^__^

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Review #43, by tangledconstellationsGame: Let the Game Begin

26th July 2012:
Oh Oliver! In response to your a/n, yes, I do like him! A lot! Especially as in your banners he is Tom Hardy... - melts -

Another great chapter! The tone was flirty and cheeky and so funny - see you after a few more!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: TOM HARDY ♥ it was very difficult finding pics of him that looked young enough that also did not scream of the '90s. But he is a doll, so I persisted 8D

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Review #44, by tangledconstellationsGame: The Secret Has a Temper

26th July 2012:

Well, I've heard a lot of good things about this story since I've been reading fanfiction, and have never really had time to read it - until now! I'm so excited to carry on reading, though, because this was such a great first chapter :)

I know you said at the beginning that this is getting on a bit in age now, and you've majorly edited it, and also that its different to your writing style, but actually, I really did enjoy this, and I don't think any of those things matter at all. This was so fun and such a fantastic way to introduce this fic, even if you feel it is older now :) I love that you've introduced Rona totally legitimately. Usually, I'm a bit wary of OC's - but Rona...I like her a lot! She's cringy and she's got a temper and I just know she's going to make me laugh LOADS! I love her relationship with the Quidditch team. She kind of reminds me of the mother hen :) I also love Oliver in this too - the way he doesn't refrain from making the situation any more awkward than it has to be, and goes right ahead with making Rona look silly. I like that they're not instantly and madly in love or anything - rather, a conflict makes for a good read! It's gonna be so cool to see how you make them really soften to each other and find some common ground - asides from being Quidditch fanatics of the opposing teams.

Aside from the characters and the way this is so funky and colourful, your writing style does really stand out here. I was majorly impressed while reading this and actually thinking in the back of my head ways I could improve my own writing. This sounds very effortless and you don't overload with info or anything - it's perfect! I am really excited to read some more :)

Laura xxx


I always get so mood swingy about Game. I've had times where I hate it and times that I get super nostalgic and want to squish the whole cast. But every time someone pops in and reviews and I take a peek at the chapters, I can't help but love it all over. They're my first cast :3 and kind of a kitchen sink of all my stories. Looking back, Game was trying to write in everything that I liked - ensemble casts, stubborn-arrogant-competitive people, liiies and plot twists, adorkable leading men, smexy leading men *cough* - things that I've learned to refine in later stories.

Heh, Rona's awkwardness is all my own 8D she has my tendency to say things I know I shouldn't say, at the very worst times. There is no brain-to-mouth filter. Also the same wee obsession with upper arms and Charlie Weasley ;D

Eeep, I hope you enjoy the rest!

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Review #45, by tangledconstellationsOn the Horizon: new horizons and sights for my eyes

26th July 2012:
Hey love,

I stumbled across this and couldn't leave without reviewing. This was beautiful, really truly. Short and sweet and so wonderful. The tone of this was gentle and soft and so full of love. Thank you for writing this, because I was so swept away with this. It was honestly so lovely,

Laura x

Author's Response: Hey dearie!

You are more than welcome! I had fun writing this, mostly because I was in a very whimsy mood and thought to use it to my advantage. I'll admit, I thought it was a bit too flowery in places, but I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for reading and sorry it's taken me so long to get this response up!

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Review #46, by tangledconstellationsNothing Else Matters: Chapter Four - Severus

24th July 2012:

I haven't read much of this story in a while, so it's great to finally have some time to myself and read some more! I did worry at first that I'd feel a bit lost getting back into this story, but actually, saying that, it was great and so familiar to be reading this again. The alternating POV's in each chapter are as ever super effective and really colour this story all the more. Sev is just.awesome :) You said that this is one of the chapters that you wrote fairly soon after having a lot of the material at hand, and I could really tell, such as with the previous three, too. Everything is so thought out and I feel as though you just haven't missed anything. Little things like Dumbledore being kicked out of the've paid a lot of attention to this and it totally does pay off! I will most definitely look out for any changes (if there are any!) in the next two chapters, though.

Everything about this chapter just flows so well and I can't ever express how addictive this story is! It's so solid and so well written. Are you secretly a published writer?! Because if not, you should be. You manage to make everything sound so impressive and vivid, even if all that you are describing are puddles of mud or the summer weather! Genuinely, this does just astound me, and I don't care how silly I sound. In comparison to some maybe more artsy one shots or something, this may not be the most abstract, but the quality of writing and the imagery is just as bright and striking and amazing! And, after all of that, the way you always bring things back to Avrille and Char - it reinforces this homely feeling about this story and about Sev. This is a story that feels so real to me, and I'm sure other readers will agree because there you've managed to achieve this awesome balance between amazing creative writing and a solid, believable and continuing story. And gah, just Sev. Sev the family man. It's a side we have never had the chance to see and strangely it suits him. I think that's why I love this story so much! As well as one trillion other reasons...

Teehee, indeed I am British! There aren't any obvious slip ups with Britishisms, apart from near the end Avrille referring to the sofa/settee as the couch. But then, that's subjective I guess. Some British people might call the sofa the couch - and it is only a little thing anyway! Something I did grin at though - Dumbledore eating a crumpet. I don't know why this image amused me so - I guess because it's SO English ("crumpets and tea, ma'am?") and the word is just...quite funny sounding anyway hahaha! Maybe I'm a big kid, I don't know. But no, there was nothing here that actually needed correcting. Rather, you were actually educating me while reading this! Your use of vocab is just so impressive. There were words being used here that I didn't even know existed and they sounded as though they fitted just place perfectly! I've just made myself sound really dumb, haha, but oh well! It is always great to read a fic and be constantly impressed and to not have the narrative feel forced or repeated at all. Do you revise chapters before you post them? I have an awful habit of just writing and going 'ugh fine that'll do' and posting it :P I really shouldn't though. But yours - I get the impression you do really mould and care for your chapters, as I've mentioned in previous fics with the amount of incredible detail you have with your plot and characters. It is so inspiring!

The plot is progressing at such an awesome rate - I can sense that at some point Severus is going to get tied up in where his responsibilities lie. Already he's stepping in dangerous territory and has been for years, but now that Avrille's involved in the Order it makes Order business so much more HIS business, if that makes sense? I've always been interested to see how Voldemort really would talk to Sev and how equally he would consider him. I loved the part with the two of them - sure, Voldz does think that everyone is inferior to him but it was interesting to have him actually considering and listening to whatever Sev was saying. It was very believable. For all of his cunning and evil powerful ways, I guess Voldemort would have had paranoia as a weakness and would try to compensate that threefold with people like Sev feeding him information. There are so many new insights that this story has given me!

So, I'm going to sign off for the night and hopefully will be able to see to the next two very soon. For some reason (even though it's the summer holidays!!) my life has just exploded with busyness! I apologise for the wait for reviews though, :( but I can't wait to get on to the next ones, especially as you requested the most critique there. I didn't want to rush them while I'm feeling a little sleepy. I can't wait to get back to them though! If I leave Sev and Avrille alone for too long there'll probably be another baby on the way!!

:D Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Sorry it took me a couple days to respond. I've been kind of "meh" about being online the past few days, probably because I'm very "meh" about writing at the moment in general, but as always, I really appreciate your review!

Yeah, like I think I said, I wrote most of these first four chapters in two weeks (!!) at the start of NaNo last year. I think it helped to flow better since I did do it all at once, and that's why I feel a bit like I'm floundering right now writing new material.

Oh gosh, blushing over your compliments :) Funny how you mention the stuff about the weather and the mud puddles because I specifically remember writing those sections (and being a little stuck on them). I usually have to go back and insert some descriptive details here or there because I tend to get caught up in the flow of the action and dialogue.

"the way you always bring things back to Avrille and Char" --Thanks for noticing that! That really is the main backbone of this story. No matter what they go through in the war against Voldemort, I want it to always come back to this idea that home and family is the most important thing in the world

I *think* the couch thing is ok because Avrille is actually Canadian. I'm not 100% positive if a Canadian would say couch or sofa. I've never had a Canadian comment on her word choice, but even if they did I have a bit of leeway since I had her do all of her schooling around the Boston area (Salem Witches' Institute) which is conveniently the general area I'm from originally... so I'm covering my bases by saying maybe she picked up on some American slang as a teenager ;) But crumpet is definitely such a funny word!! They're really yummy, though. You can get them at some specialty stores here in the US. Good when grilled with honey! Thanks for specifically reading for the Britishisms! I have a beta, but she's American too, so she probably would miss the same things I would. When in doubt, I try to imagine Alan Rickman saying something. Granted he's not how I picture MY Severus in my head, being the more "canon" Severus to me, but it still helps.

Oh man, you are SO not dumb! I'm pretty sure I'm probably around 10 years older than you, so I've just had more time to read, read, read. I'm constantly always checking a thesaurus when I write as well because often times I know the gist of the word I want but can't recall what it is. And I will admit I am definitely an editing addict. I was really nervous posting these first four chapters when I did since I had never done a WIP before. You can imagine I edited the heck out of them, probably half because I was stalling.

I find the Voldemort/Severus interactions interesting as well, hence why I like to make excuses for them to talk alone together. I was always curious as to how Severus went from being the "he will be killed, of course" Death Eater from the graveyard to being virtually Voldemort's most trusted follower. Obviously killing Dumbledore had a lot to do with it, but he had to have been slowly working his way up to that point this whole time. I agree that Voldemort probably had paranoia being one of his greatest weaknesses, or maybe strengths since it did keep him in power for so long. I don't think he would have ever truly trusted anyone. More like he took a gamble, like "it's about 90% likely Severus is loyal to me," and it turns out he was wrong.

So once again, thanks so much for your time in reading and reviewing this!! Please don't rush or push yourself. I know all about crazy busy days. Hence why I just haven't felt like writing lately. At least the review challenges are making me stay active in HPFF and TGS cause I'm determined to do all of those suckers. Hmm, I wonder if you'll win feature reviewer! I went to nominate, but someone beat me to it ;) Good luck! You totally deserve it!

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Review #47, by tangledconstellationsThunderous: Shattering of the Sky

23rd July 2012:
Hey, lovely,

Oh, this was so heartbreaking! :( I love Neville one thousand times over and this was so painful to see him and Hannah so upset. But at the same time, you've shown their relationship to be so strong, so lovely and determined. Not being able to have a child is so inexplicably difficult to cope with, and I really understood that from this piece. Yet, it was comforting to see them trying to deal with this together. I imagine Neville to be the perfect husband and hopefully eventually the perfect father, and you've shown many of his canon, appreciated traits here; his unconditional love, his made this strangely beautiful, so that we can see the strength and pain ordinary couples like Neville and Hannah have.

Your writing style, as ever, as always, is astoundingly beautiful. The pathetic fallacy worked ever so well in this piece. It made me think that maybe a higher force was at work, and that ultimately this childless couple cannot defy natures decision not to grant them with a baby. I could really feel the power of the rain in this, too, like the heartbeat to this one-shot. It would be interesting to see a follow on piece, I think mainly because I love them both so much!, but standing alone it is still so striking and effective.

Theres much happy lovely fluff about Neville and Hannah, and so in a way something like this is really welcomed. It makes me see them in a more human way, rather than fictional characters, and for that I think you have done a really amazing job here. Thank you :) this was beautiful.

Laura xxx

Author's Response: I don't even know how to respond to this without making myself a completely unrecognizable melted mess. BUT I will give it my best try, because this review is just... gah. It blows me away. You are so, so kind. I cannot begin to thank you enough.

I think I've said this before, but, in my mind, compliments on writing and style are the absolute best a writer can get. At least, they are to me. So thank you so much for commenting on that. It's something that almost every writer works to improve as they continue to write, and... gah. Just... thank you.

There's a lot of happy fluff, to be sure, but the challenge here was to write with just one line of dialogue. While it's possible to write fluff with just one line of dialogue, I think it's probably harder to do, so I stuck with the angst. Besides, angst is what I do best. :P

Thank you, again, for the marvelous review. Your kindness and generosity never ceases to amaze me.

xx Rin

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Review #48, by tangledconstellationsQuidditch Affairs: Quidditch Affairs

21st July 2012:
Hey, lovely!

The review challenge over at TGS has opened up so many doors to fics I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to read otherwise, and this was one of them! I am glad I read it though.

I really liked this, because it was so simple and so cute. The idea of Cedric hiding away his crush for Oliver is actually really appealing, and I can really see this working with later on in the books too. The pairing is still completely unexpected, but it's sort of nice. You're taking HP and making it your own! :D It's not too over the top nor is it downplayed - I think you've captured the balance between lust and curiosity and attraction really well. The lust part is really important, because I guess Cedric and Oliver would be at that age where they are finding themselves so to speak. I don't think this was in anyway unbelievable. Maybe if he was madly in love I might've raised my eyebrows, but he's not, and you showed us that really well.

Even though it was short, your wonderful writing style still manages to shine! :D the way you've developed both of these boys, too - it's just amazing. Like Oliver, and how he's so preoccupied with life after school and how he's got to be good at something...I thought it was great to have this backdrop to this piece. I really like the way Cedric is so rational too. He doesn't dive in at Oliver, but he really considers the moment and measures what he wants to say.

Overall, I thought this was brilliant! :D

Laura xxx

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Review #49, by tangledconstellationsRowan and Phoenix: The Department of Mysteries

19th July 2012:

Yay, you updated, and this chapter was a killer! I seriously cannot wait for more now! You always leave these chapters on such a good note, I can't NOT read more!

I really liked that there was like, all sorts of variety with this chapter. Snape's memory(/evil dark magic scroll-induced memory)...:( his past is so interesting and I think it makes him so misunderstood. You expressed his subdued anguish about their drinking problems so well, by likening it something eleven-year-old Sev found familiar. It was nice, too, that despite him not getting on with Petunia he feels almost loyal to her, not liking it when his mother badmouths her. I suppose it is true though - it's okay moaning or disliking something or someone, but as soon as someone else agrees with you or says it it suddenly doesn't feel right anymore. His relationship with his father is also really subtly expressed here too. It's almost as though his father is afraid of him for doing magic. Severus' past is something that makes him so unique and it is quite rarely that it's really taken into account in fics.

As for his feelings about Lily - oh, I don't know what to think! I don't think he does either. His indecisiveness is kind of welcomed here, though. I respect him for sticking to his staying away, because time apart probably is what is best. No, the italics are fine! I actually really liked them :D to me, they don't confuse things later on in the chapter at all, so don't worry :) nor was this chapter confusing - it felt very well timed and as always well written. I adore the fact that you threw Madam Pince into the equation - "That's called hubris, Professor." hahah! It makes me think of Snape less of a loner and more of like...a team. Or something. It's nice that they're looking out for each other, however badly I explain it.

And, oh! The last bit! Wow, you've totally taken Voldemort's narrative on! It's something I aspire to do but am too scared to :P this last part was just super intense and super effective! The way he is just observing it all, like an animal waiting to pounce on its prey. It makes me think of those times in canon and in OoTP when Voldemort just lets himself into Harry's mind as and when, planning this elaborate lie about Sirius. He is crafty, and this is another thoroughly convincing example of it. And the last line, "This body was failing." BODY?! She is a girl, not a...thing!! Very Voldemort ;) but also, very epic!! I really can't wait for more, now that this horrible possessed connection has been made. I'm worrying about Lily one thousand times more! Darn, I wish she wasn't so caring sometimes! This could very easily end with disaster :(

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you for setting my mind at ease about the chapter not making any sense XD I was worried there lol. I'm really glad you liked it and epically sorry about the cliffhanger; I'm trying to finish the next chapter and have it online before too long.

Voldemort is not an easy character to write for but it's fun in a demented way - :D Maybe I need my head examined but that's part of the fun of fiction writing!

Lily has really dug herself quite a hole here... :( We shall see what happens! Thanks again Laura!

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Review #50, by tangledconstellationsWith All Things: George, September 1998

19th July 2012:
I apologise for the delay in getting to this chapter! This fic has been on my mind though, and I'm glad to finally get the chance to read this chapter and review it!

In comparison to the last chapter (I think that's what is really effective about this fic - all of the contrasts) this one was again rather sad and reminded me of how things used to be so rosy and carefree, really reiterating the way that the war has changed everything, right down to the dynamics of the characters. What was most striking and really actually quite sad was the way Lee had been seeing Indira for quite some time, and George just hadn't noticed and hadn't been told at all. The loss of Fred has really cut him off from, well, everything. Everyone has been so preoccupied with trying to avoid the topic of Fred that they haven't included George in anything, and in a way George hasn't included himself either.

Saying that though, I loved that he was making progress in this chapter, even if it was just that he had his window open. The George in these chapters is so different to the George who will be involved in the earlier bits - but with Angelina he's slowly being brought back. I love the way she appears just when he needs her most, and I love that he's able to remember his brother fondly rather than in solitude. One of the things you asked me to look at was the progression of time in these chapters. I really like the alternation, I think it works really well. So far though the whole timeline thing has worked fine - I haven't found any flaws with it at all, or nothing that is glaringly obvious. I like that time isn't a big deal with George's chapters, because it just reinforces the idea that he's entirely lost within himself and getting over this loss. Angelina's, on the other hand, were very time-centred, just thinking about the Yule Ball looming in the distance! I guess that's another contrast between the two - something else that colours this fic :)

I thought as well I should just throw in that the dialogue in this chapter, too, is very well written and to me is rather flawless. I love that you can really sense Angelina's hesitation after she's made George jump like that by going into his flat. It was also really nice to see George brighten a little bit with the teasing of Lee - even if he didn't really feel like it much. It makes me think that sometimes what he says is just another guise put up so he can act like nothing has ever happened. The last moments with Angelina, though - they felt very natural and very, I can't think of the word. I'll go with right. They felt very right. :) The bit with Lee, though, I did really like. It reminded me that after all of this he is still a young man and he is still going to be amused and well, intrigued by a leggy girl in his friends flat. Gosh, honestly, this fic has just made me think about George in a whole new light - I really do feel so bad for him, because really he is so young.

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hello!! Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to responding to these reviews -- I read them all as you posted them and appreciated them immensely.

Ahh. I haven't had anyone yet point out how sad it is that George hadn't known about Lee and Indira -- though I will say that they have kept their relationship underwraps. ;) I knew that if George was going to go through he and Fred's things, Angelina would have to be there... but it was very important to me that the start the process on his own without her... and she just aided in the project.

Thank you so, so much for these reviews!

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