Reading Reviews From Member: tangledconstellations
325 Reviews Found

Review #26, by tangledconstellationsMy Identity: My Changes

23rd June 2015:
Hey again,

Ah this was another super chapter! It was really good to see Bella and Andromeda interacting. I really like the way you've written Bellatrix. The line about her walking with purpose so that people would know that she knows what she's doing was just perfect. She's obviously still young and is really trying to prove something, but she has a dangerous confidence too. It's interesting to notice how a lot of her behaviour has been passed down from her parents. In a way that makes me rethink the 'villain' Bellatrix we see in the books. Maybe if she had come from different circumstances things might have turned out in a different way?

I really feel for Andromeda here. She's pining so bad for that change, and yet at the same time she is at that age where she's becoming self aware and will be growing up into a woman. She's a really interesting mix of excited but also let down - she's impatient, in a way, I guess. I really can relate to her - when I was younger (and still now!) I always used to pin myself to something in the future and get so excited about it, heralding it as the thing that will change me! It's sad because it never usually works out like that and having such high expectations of something always means they won't be met. I feel really close to Andromeda, and really invested in this story. She's just such a nice character, and because she feels like she doesn't really have a place, I just want her to find one. Your writing is lovely in this chapter, and the tone is so solid throughout.

Ahh, I really enjoyed this chapter. I can't wait to read more :) ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Yay, a second review response means I get to tell you you're awesome again!

You're awesome!

All the Bella love. I thought at one point I read something about Bellatrix being one of the top students at Hogwarts at her time. I haven't been able to find where this came from, so maybe my brain made it up, but it's head canon now. In my head Bella is extremely intelligent and powerful. Whatever she chose to do she would have been amazing at. As it happens, she followed her passion. And it's a little hard to condemn her for that.

Andromeda is also a product of her environment. SO MUCH. I am glad you like her. Things happen.


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Review #27, by tangledconstellationsMy Identity: My Mysteries

23rd June 2015:

I found time to read some more!

This was such a good chapter. I really liked it. I dont know why but I've never thought of the Black sisters as being actual sisters (which is so stupid haha) - I think because we just see them as adults and it's easy to forget that they grew up together. But I think you captured the sisterly relationships between them so well - especially the way Andromeda idolises Bella, up until Bella lets her down by starting to change into the Bella we know in the books. It's really strange but as I was reading this I could totally relate this to myself because I have two older sisters (so I guess I'm the Narcissa of the family) and so the relationships between them that you were describing I could just see really well. I think when you have siblings and you're all quite close in age you definitely do build up a bond - but at the same time you're all so different and you don't really know where you stand with each other, too. You're all at different stages of growing up and finding yourself - and especially with Andromeda as the middle child, being overshadowed does happen.

It was great that you gave us more info on the family, and again we have that question that's going to run through the fic of what identity is. I liked that even though this chapter wasn't fully about Andromeda and you took this time to talk about her sisters, there was still an awful lot of new character facets to her, and I feel as though I can picture her more and more clearly.

This was awesome - on to the next one :) ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for coming back and leaving TWO lovely reviews! It was a really great surprise. I don't think anyone's reviewed more than one chapter since, like, 2012, so I'm kind of flattergasted (which is a feeling I get that makes me make up words).

I'm so glad to hear that you continue to enjoy the writing, tone, and characters. I've gotten several positive reviews on the first chapter recently, but was starting to think that only that chapter was good. It's nice to hear that you think otherwise!

I love the Black sisters so much. They are three of the most fascinating characters in the books to me, and they all grew up together! That is SO interesting to me, and I could write it a thousand different ways.

You won't be seeing much of Narcissa, but Bellatrix is a very different matter. I really love writing Bella, and I see the relationship between her and Andromeda as very pivotal.

I actually don't have any sisters, but I grew up with three brothers. Sibling politics is so very palpable to me. I'm glad you related to it as well!


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Review #28, by tangledconstellationsActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

23rd June 2015:
Hey there!

I'm swinging by for the BvB review battle but also to leave your 500th review on this fic!

Congratulations!! That's such an achievement! 500! :D you deserve it - it's obvious you've put so much time into this fic :) I've always wanted to read this but have never quite got round to it, so this seemed like a very good opportunity to.

This was such a fab first chapter. I think you've done an awesome job on establishing Rose's character and sort of familiarising us with her thought processes. I like that this chapter has a darker undertone. It's really interesting, and has me intrigued for what is to come. There are already questions that I want answering - what is it that has frightened her so much? What is she remembering that is making her suffer? - although it's even more enticing because I feel like it's the kind of question that can't be answered in one chapter. It's obvious the effects of whatever happened are really sticking with Rose, and so right now I'm curious but I know whatever is to come is gonna be something big.

I really really like your writing style - you adopt the way Rose is thinking and pushing herself on really well. Even when you told us about the Sorting Ceremony, it didn't feel like a deviation - it was still a part of Rose's thoughts, told through her eyes. You have a real knack to remaining in the present, with Rose, but also giving us just enough information and backstory to get us all the more invested in your fic. I like the setting too - Healer training! That's just awesome. And I also really like that Rose isn't 100% capable. She comes across to me as a really realistic character - someone that is struggling with something, someone that sometimes finds it hard to live her life. I think we can all relate to that in some degree. I think that's why I already like her so much.

This was such a fab chapter and reading it, I can't believe I haven't started it before! I'll definitely be reading on soon :)

(also, again - 500!! Yay!! *hugs* ♥)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura!

Thank you so, so much for this! Gah - I never, never, *never* thought my story would get to this point.

And it's such a thoughtful and kind review too! Gah!

My insides are all squiggly wiggly because I feel like you really *got* what I was trying to do with this chapter. It's setting up Rose's current state while giving the reader just a touch of the back story to make them want to know more. I'm so glad an author of your stature felt I pulled it off.

I'd love to know what you think of the rest of the story1

Thanks again - ♥ Beth

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Review #29, by tangledconstellationsMemories and Time: Sleeping

22nd June 2015:
Hey again!

It was so great to see how these families are connected, especially as I've *just* read The Thing With Feathers. The little mention of Tristan was really cool - you've built up such a cool universe around this family! And if I recall he was both handsome and rich in The Thing With Feathers...from their inheritance money perhaps? Eek! I just want to know!

Like the last chapter, I think what is most effective here is just that fear of the disease the wizards can't really control. I guess it's a pretty primal fear - to be wary of something that can strike so randomly. But what really worked here was the way you captured not just Diana's feelings but the general mood - the witches discussing it in low voices, the way Caterina totally froze up at the thought of it coming back. I got such an impression of the tone of this story - the lingering fear and the creepy characters (namely Avery and their father!). It's been built on really carefully from the the previous chapter, and has got me so interested.

Also - Diana's visions!! So much foreshadowing! I think you wrote that section really well. I really want to see how this story transpires, but I don't think you've updated this fic in a while, so I wonder if you're still writing it or have plans to pick it back up?

This has been awesome - I can't wait to read more some day! :D

Laura x

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Review #30, by tangledconstellationsMemories and Time: Prologue

22nd June 2015:

While I was on your page, I was browsing some of your other stories and I came across this one. It really interested me, and now that I've read the prologue it's really captured my imagination! Writing about dragon pox is such a unique idea. I mean, there's no reason why it wouldn't be as scary and as devastating as muggle diseases and illnesses. I really liked the tone of this first chapter - the way your character seems really very world-weary at this point. Perhaps that is her age - or perhaps she is just incredibly anxious about those reports from France you mention.

I think this is such a cool idea though and I'm excited about clicking 'next chapter'! Your writing is as beautiful as ever - clear, powerful and very emotive. You write in such a way that it's so easy to climb inside your characters heads and see through their eyes. It's really, really lovely.

Okay - on to the next one! See you on the other side!

Laura xxx

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Review #31, by tangledconstellationsThe Thing With Feathers: First Impressions

22nd June 2015:
Hey there Branwen!

Popping over for the BvB review battle :)

You mentioned in your authors note that this fic was way out of your comfort zone - but I think you did a really awesome job! You definitely captured the time period really well, and your characters were extremely likeable and relatable. I really liked that this was a little fleeting moment, with a promise of more to come, but yet you managed to do an awful lot of world building in that time. I can imagine the villagers so clearly, the potion shop, the cozy living room - all of it really very well. For a (relatively) short piece I think it's wonderful that you've provided us with that much detail - as well as simultaneously keeping it within the era and grounded in the opinions and feelings of Isolda.

The element that felt strongest to me was Isolda's voice here. Every description was provided through her eyes, every observation in her head. You've established such a clear character and as a reader that's just so awesome - I feel like I want to hear more of her story and as though I really care about her. I love the way she doesn't want a husband, and the way she doesn't care what people think - and she's aware that goes against the norm. But I also really like that she does give Tristan a chance, and only because he made her smile. She seems to be the kind of character that has her priorities in order!

I really enjoyed this! This was a really immersive snapshot into these two characters lives, and it was great :)

Laura xxx

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Review #32, by tangledconstellationsAreopagitica: Prologue

21st June 2015:

Popping over for the BvB review battle!

So I was kind of really excited when I saw that you had posted before me on the review battle thread because it meant I could come over and read more on your AP! This story caught my attention, and right now I'm really excited to see where the next chapter is going to go.

I love reading stories about that one awful year at Hogwarts, and how it was that the students managed to survive it. It must have been such a horrible time. But here there's such an overwhelming sense of secrecy, and of a sort of private joy, that this chapter has got me really looking forwards to the next one. I love the way Luna is at the forefront of this mischief, with her lovely, sunny positivity, and that you don't explain fully what is going on here - it just means that we've got to wait to find out I guess :)

The way you described the package neatly wrapped up was really oddly satisfying to read! I thought it was beautiful. It puts so much more emphasis on how important these things are, coming into the school. It makes me wonder what it is that they do, if they're so carefully wrapped up and beautifully decorated. I like that the items are incredibly mundane, too. I like that they're not overtly rebellious, and that they are pretty much innocent.

The way you described Ernie and Susan scurrying off to investigate the quill was really nice. I am just so intrigued you have no idea! This first chapter just felt really visual and I could picture each section so well. I am really excited for more! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words Laura!

I's so pleased that Areopagitica has been so well received by everyone! I've been working a lot of the next chapter, so I hope you like it. I've tried to inject a lot of positivity and happiness into this prologue since (as you probably realize from the era) it's going to get quite dark.

I tend to write a lot of things based on picturing them in head as movies, so I guess that really came off here as it was sort of a montage kind of scene I suppose. And I'm just such a visual person so the pretty colourful gifts, the Hogwarts atmosphere, all of it was just so clear in my head, so I'm happy it was clear to you as well.

Anyway, thanks so much for the review and I hope to see you back when I finally finish the next chapter!


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Review #33, by tangledconstellationsMy Identity: My Mythos

21st June 2015:
Heya! ♥

I'm swinging by for review tag!

Gah - this was such an awesome start to your fic. I've been meaning to start reading a good-length fic for a while, and y'know what? I think this is the one I'm gonna go for :) This first chapter alone is so rich in tone and I love the way you've introduced Andromeda. I can see her, I can picture her, and, even though I don't know anything about her current life situation as of yet, I feel invested in her. This opening is really beautifully written. I love the way you intertwine the ancient story of Andromeda with the present. I can picture a girl who is a bit lost, her mind fixed elsewhere, but because she is so actively searching for her true self, as you say, she is also very actively in this world too.

I think what is most interesting is that by mentioning the ancient story you set up a level of foreshadowing. Half of me is expecting the rest of this story to follow alongside the ancient one. In a way, I'm already hoping for her hero to come along, to rescue her from the situation she might find herself in. But the other half of me is so fascinated with the tone you've established here, the sort of pessimistic outlook Andromeda seems to have, and so I'm incredibly excited to see that not happen. I'm excited to see how she makes her own name for herself, and just how her happy ending, that she's so sure she doesn't believe in, won't come about.

This was an awesome first chapter. So much intrigue! I can't wait to read on :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Gah, thank you so much.

I am pretty self conscious about this story because I wrote it so long ago, but I am also very proud that it is actually finished (the final three chapters are waiting for the queue).

Because I feel insecure about it I haven't specifically requested any reviews for it, so I am always very flattered when somebody reads it on their own. As you can see, most of the later chapters haven't been reviewed, so if you do keep reading I'd be interested to hear what you think.

Thanks much!


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Review #34, by tangledconstellationsTwisting In The Wind: Free

21st June 2015:
Hey there Kaitlin!

I heard it was somebody's birthday ^.- so I scampered over as fast as I could to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAITLIN ♥ ♥ ♥ I hope you have a BEAUTIFUL DAY filled with smiles (and cake) and presents (and cake) and love (and cake) and BIRTHDAY JOY! (and cake)

Here's a little birthday review to make your day a little brighter!

SO I don't know why I'm reviewing this fic because I swear, all of the entries for Lisa's Sink-Your-Ship challenge have left me in a CRYING MESS on the floor. This was no exception - although the fact that it was written so beautifully has sort of softened the blow. I love Neville and Luna too - they're such a lovely couple, I think because both of them are really gentle characters. It seems fitting that their break up would go like this ~ not too dramatic or angsty, but painful nonetheless. You did a really good job of writing their dynamic, and this was really nice to read!

I hope you have a wonderful day ~ I'm sending lots of hugs and positive birthday vibes! (and cake) ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey Laura,

Thank you so much! It really made my day to log on and see all these lovely reviews. Don't worry. I got lots of cake!

I'm sorry that the challenge entries have been hard for you. You're right that Luna and Neville are both gentle characters and that's why I imagine their breakup being very mellow. I'm so glad you thought the dynamic was fitting.

Thank you so much for this lovely review and the birthday wishes!


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Review #35, by tangledconstellationsRose Tinted Glass: Paper World

20th June 2015:
Hey there,

Just popping by to leave a random review :) this was so lovely - it totally made me melt. I'm not normally into romance but I love how this was also bound up in self image, and sort of 'loving yourself'. I like the way Scorpius is different to how he's normally portrayed. He's a free spirit here, and that's really nice. But I especially love how much he loves Rose, and how he can see that she is wonderful.

Sorry this is short, but this was really lovely - thank you for sharing! ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Thanks so much for this review! It really did brighten my day :)

I really like as a sort of therapeutic device, so that's a little bit of where this kind of came from. And Scorpius, he's just wonderful, so there's that too.

Anyway, thanks for the review!!


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Review #36, by tangledconstellationsIvy Manor: Ivy Manor

20th June 2015:
Hey Kenny,

This was a really wonderful piece. I'm so pleased you agreed to swap with me because this was a joy to read! The story is really original and I believe that the memory of Frank's death would have stayed with Harry for a long time. I'm excited to read more of your writing now, because there are a couple of phrases here that were really astounding and made this chapter so special.

Here are some in particular that I want to mention, because they're beautiful!

- 'Unknown flowers of the aged tree were rendering power of spring nature over the crooked river by the bank, and black bird was twittering, which added the joyful mood in the small village.' - I love this because it creates such a pretty image, especially in a location where we are immediately reminded of Frank's death. It makes me think that those who survived the wizarding war are healing, and everything is repairing itself. Just a note, it should read, 'which added TO the joyful mood in the small village'

- 'He spotted Ginny among them, her long red hair fanning over her shoulders. She caught his eyes and waved her hand, mouthing 'I love you'. Harry grinned back, waving, too.' - the image of her red hair fanning over her shoulders is lovely. Harry and Ginny's relationship here feels really special. They really are like best friends, but they love each other too. You've written them in such a nice way!

- 'he was afraid that she felt uncomfortable remembering she was once a marionette of Tom Riddle from the diary.' - I really like your word choice for 'marionette'. Its a good word to use because it emphasises how young Ginny was then, and how she couldn't do anything. It keeps in our heads how much Voldemort changed their lives.

- 'Everytime he did side-along Apparition, he felt nausea but this time he didn't stagger at all. He wondered why. Maybe staying with Ginny let him keep balance' - I think this is my favourite part! It's so subtle but it speaks ounces about their relationship. So lovely :)

There are tons more too! But as well as these, I love the locations for this story. Ginny going horse riding is a really lovely image, as well. I like that she's still wild and she's still independent. She's still a Weasley! I could picture your settings so clearly and so beautifully because you describe them in a very gentle way. You're a wonderful writer, clearly, and the story itself is so original.

You also wanted me to mention if there were any sentences that sounded a little awkward. I did spot a few, so I'll go over them in a second. But overall I think your writing style is really strong and even though there are small errors dotted about it doesn't distract from the story, so don't worry. I enjoyed reading this so much! Hopefully these corrections help you out!

I've added in the corrected versions in for you, sometimes in capital letters :)

- 'Harry stood on THE top of the hill straightening himself' - also, you could change 'the hill' to 'a hill' to suggest that there are more than just one and its a hilly area?

- 'He felt it saltier than the tomato soup Aunt Petunia had cooked.' I think this would read a little better as 'IT TASTED saltier than the tomato soup Aunt Petunia had cooked'

- 'He chewed a piece of roll contemplating about the death of the gardener.' - taking out 'about' would make this read better :)

- 'Her face got strained, but she didnít oppose to his suggestion.' - maybe you could change 'strained' to something that creates a clearer picture of how she is feeling? How about 'She grimaced slightly, but she didn't oppose to his suggestion.'

- When Ginny asks 'What do you want to confirm?' this is a little jarring. I do know what you mean with it, but it's quite a forced question. How about, 'What is it you want to see?' or, 'What is it you want to know?' I think it's a little more natural that way, though I can't explain why, haha! :D

- 'She smiled, smoothing her long hair with her fingers. The move was so eyesome that he hugged her, kissed her on the cheek. She radiated beamish smile,' - I think you've got a bit jumbled here hehe - I do know what you mean but I think it needs clarifying a little. I don't think 'eyesome' works in this part. And do you mean that she is blushing, and grinning? Here's my suggestion, but feel free to change it if I've read this part wrong! 'She smiled, smoothing her long hair with her fingers. The move was so gentle that he hugged her, kissing her on the cheek. She blushed, beaming at him'. Often, 'beaming' can be used instead of 'smiling', so you don't have to use the two of them together.

- 'A middle aged receptionist with chestnut brown hair smiled and charged them EACH four pounds for THE admission fee'

- 'Suddenly Harry had a feeling that SOMEONE WAS WHISPERING NEAR HIS EAR. The poor old man WAS SPEAKING TO HIM from the veil.' This line creates a lovely image, so I've added in some changes to make it read better in the present - feel free to change them yourself! :)

- 'Harry also wished FOR no more death.'

As you can see, they are only little things, but I think overall it will make this chapter read a bit better. But I really enjoyed this chapter, it was so lovely and the tone of it was beautiful. Thank you for sharing, and I hope my suggestions have helped you!

I will be sure to read more of your work! :D

Laura xx

Author's Response: Hi, Laura! Thank you for leaving review on this.

I'm happy to know you really enjoyed this. The sentences you like are based on my experience in the museum I've visited in Tokyo where there were lots of great picutres of Edo period including famous old plum trees. I've visited Scotland, so I blended the image here and the nature in Scotland. So my intention seemed to work, I'm really glad.

About Ginny/Harry relationship, I'd like to follow Cannon story, so I tried to develop their world.

So many thanks to your advice. Right now House Cup is so intense, but after that I'll be back here to fix them.

Thank you so much!


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Review #37, by tangledconstellationsSelene: Selene

20th June 2015:
Hey there,

I'm swinging by for Review Tag! ♥

I've been meaning to pop by your author's page for a while now, and I'm really pleased that I have because I thought this piece was so wonderful. When I realised that Selene was a boggart, I swear, my heart simultaneously broke and was filled with such, idk, awe? that you had written such a wonderful piece. This oneshot is so original and its so convincing, and you've managed to turn a fearsome creature, one that we all don't like from the series, into something that's real, that's breathing and that has a soul.

Your narrative here is perfectly simple. That's what makes it so effective - you haven't overdone the details, and everything is just-so. The way Selene views things is so sort of absent - she's not really a part of the world, she's not quite human - yet she (he? it? 'It' doesn't feel right!) has these emotions that makes her more than a creature to be hated. Your final few lines were the lines that got me - Teddy, seeing his father. And Selene, feeling that grief, in a way, too, and not being able to change shape. It makes me wonder whether people hated her for that - whether it made them view her as a 'horrible nasty boggart' for making Teddy cry, but what they don't know is that in a way Selene was hurting, too. This was just amazing.

I'm really looking forwards to seeing what other stories you post in the future! Thank you so much for sharing this!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura and thank you for this heart-warming review! It certainly brightened an otherwise frustrating day.

I'm incredibly happy that you liked the idea and my style of writing (simple is always the way for me, I really envy the people who can write in flowery language and still pull it off!) I was originally planning to end the story differently, but as I was writing, this idea popped into my head and I couldn't resist penning it down! I love your take on the ending, though, for people wouldn't have understood why the boggart refused to change and would have probably antagonised Selene for it.

Impossibly grateful for this review, darling, and I should hope to be writing more in the near future!

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Review #38, by tangledconstellationsGloria: Gloria

20th June 2015:
Hey Aph!

I swear, every single thing you write is so incredibly epic, so amazingly put together and orchestrated and carefully thought out, it just takes my breath away. All of your references, the multi-layered and colourful images you paint with your words, the feelings arching through this piece, all of it.

This was beautiful. Not even beautiful, BEYOND beautiful. Sort of, scarily otherworldly and inspiring all wrapped up. It was like drifting off into a dream in the corner of a warm library and slipping into another world. Just ~ insanely, crazily good. I am in absolute awe. And I'm aware I'm not doing a good job at putting my thoughts into words right now and I hope my feeble attempts aren't creating the wrong impression. I'm rambling, but I mean this all so sincerely. This is pure poetry.

When we agreed to swap you mentioned that this was pretty long - but actually, reading this, it didn't feel too long at all. Perhaps it was the way you've divided this into each of their separate narratives, but it sort of split it up in quite an easy to manage way. I don't normally mind reading longer things anyway providing I've set time apart to do it, but this didn't feel particularly heavily long as I was reading. Maybe I was just utterly swept up in it! But I do think this works so well as one long continuous piece. It sort of solidifies what Gellert and Albus are - one intense companionship, one that you've (rather carefully (and evilly? (Curse Lisa's challenge! It's breaking my heart!!))) dismantled throughout the course of this.

The main thing I really wanted to emphasise in this review is just how effective Gellert's ascension to power is. Maybe not even power in the literal sense - perhaps just in their relationship, because it is through this facet that you have told their story. Every time a new sort of subsection started it felt as though he was slipping further away and Albus was starting to view him, yes, with a sort of affection still, but a new reverence that signals warning bells in his (and my) head and which eventually means that they cannot be. Yet in Gellert's sections I could almost feel him trying to claw his way back to Albus, especially in the last one, when his language becomes so accusing and hard - 'your damp, pretty England' literally mentioning a 'crown of thorns'. While there is a romance between them there's also a definite dependence/envy of one another, as though they complete and better each other yet compete - which I think is what makes their relationship, generally speaking, really fascinating. They're both incredibly bright men (understatement of the century) and they want to get better, and if it is Albus that motivates him, Gellert is going to want to cling and keep him. But perhaps it is because Albus is the better man that he can't stay with Gellert for the things that he's done - I don't know. But you've done an incredible job at untangling their relationship. You've laid it out in all of these hues and you've created such a beautiful, visual selection of moments to represent it - it's just amazing.

Okay, so now I'm going to ATTEMPT to talk about your writing itself. Watch as I go off on an emotional tangent... Ok so I have always always always loved your writing. You're one of the handful of writers on this archive who I read every once in a while and I flail and I weep (with joy? with pain? who knows?) and I feel so inspired to open up my word docs and poke at my own stories some more. Maybe you know that, but I don't know if I've said it before. It's so special to read someones work and be actually blown away by it. For me, it's not so much the story (though the story here is incredible) but it's the way it's told that reaches out to me. Writing is such an art and it's literally the best thing in the entire universe when I can see that there is another writer out there who is wrestling with this art and using their own voice and making their words their own, making them original and telling a story how they need to and in a way that they feel does it best. I always get a feeling from your work that you're writing because you're motivated by feelings and situations that are so difficult to put into words but you need to TRY because that's what writing is, right? This piece is packed with such gorgeous, emotive and loaded language but what is so unique is that you have written it. I read this and I loved it and I know it is in your voice, your style, your rhythm. Another favourite of mine that you have written is Two Earthly Kingdoms, and there are some parallels between these pieces, but only in such a way that it is evident you have written them. You've left your mark on the words, and you've made them your own. I genuinely read your work and I feel like one day in the future I'll pick up a book in a shop and glance over it and I'll recognise your beautiful style, I'll know that you have written it because that's what you do - you make words your own.

I hope you know how talented you are. I hope you know that reading your work is special and that it creates these beautiful, mesmerising worlds for the reader. You have such a skill and its amazing to be able to be a part of it on this site ♥

I just glanced at my character count and Holy Heck I'm on less than 500 - I feel like I should have PM'd you that last paragraph but heyho. THINGS I NEED TO MENTION BEFORE I RUN OUT:
India - the sea as a painting - mint waves - JUST SPECTACULAR. I can see the brushstrokes
Midas in his hall of gold - an amazing, almost terrifying image. Everything is so real/unreal
Blackberries growing sour - I love this - even though they feel immortal like statues and gods, they will fade & change - they are merely of the earth too
Keep writing - always ♥

Ok ok I'm almost out of letters! Sorry for this absolutely insane lame review, but thank you for writing this.


Thank you

Laura xxx

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Review #39, by tangledconstellationsWalking in Circles: Walking in Circles

20th June 2015:
Heya! Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015!

This was really cool - I love the idea of this piece and I think you wrote it really well. It's the kind of piece that I imagine should have a soundtrack to it :D - and while it's pretty standalone its given me just enough to think about to get involved in the characters. I love the way the Hufflepuff team keep passing Al by, and he's still as deeply preoccupied in his thoughts. It's a really nice touch and implies the passing of time without actually explicitly saying it. I like the way he is meandering his way around the lake, too - because obviously it is symbolic, like you say in your last line. He's in a cyclic state of mind and the walking around the lake thing is very habitual. But its really cool that at the conclusion of the piece he decides he doesn't want to do that any more - and even though we don't know much about the characters other than what you've given us here you really set up his relationship with Pam really well, and I'm rooting for them at the end.

This is just really nice to read - it's ever so well balanced and I love the way the story pans out here.

:D Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thanks for coming by! I'm glad you enjoyed this. I think I wrote this story right at the beginning of the period when I was getting overly stressed about writing, trying to insert bits of symbolism or small metaphors or significant but subtle themes into everything. This story wasn't particularly subtle in its symbolism, but it's nice to hear that you think it worked. Maybe I'll go back and take a look at it at some point, and see if I could make it a little better. Thank you, and go 'claws!

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Review #40, by tangledconstellationsYou. (Me).: You. (Me).

20th June 2015:
Heya! I'm reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015.

This was so beautiful. It was such a perfect length, and I love the lingering contrasts between how Teddy and Victoire view her beauty. I like the way you alternated between both of their voices - how both of them spoke in their own way. From Teddy I can feel a really wholehearted enthusiasm and passion for Victoire, but I think what is really special is the way Victoire comes across as almost tired of who she is and how she looks. She is doubting herself, who she is behind the 'mask' of her beauty. It's such an interesting stance to take, because it makes me think about who she is as a character - does she hate how she looks? How does that play into the rest of her life? But because this piece is so fleeting and brief, in the most gentle way, those questions hang in the air, unanswered.

The whole tone of this is really cool because your use of colour in the early descriptions paint this bright and vivid portrayal of who Victoire is, but her own tone and her own view on herself almost over saturates it until we are seeing more than how she looks. Yet, to have Teddy clinging on to her sentences once they have been said adds this wistful edge to the piece, that makes me think a lot of love - of loving someone when they don't love themselves and seeing a different kind of beauty within them.

This was really amazing - thank you for sharing ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this piece! And coming from someone who writes the most beautiful stories and descriptions, that really means a lot to hear! I was trying to do something a bit different with this story - especially since I hadn't been writing fanfiction for long at this point - and I'm so pleased that it worked and that the characterisations of Victoire and Teddy fit too.

I really wanted to explore some different questions and a different side to beauty, and even though I didn't have many words to do that in, it was great to leave those questions hanging for the reader to ask and answer themselves. Thank you so much for this wonderful review! ♥

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Review #41, by tangledconstellationsUntil the End: Together

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015

Oh man,

All the feels right here :( Apart from this wanting to make me curl up into a ball for a little while, this was so amazing. This was really special, and you've managed to propel two characters we don't know a lot about into heroes. This was such a pleasure to read, and I think it was most especially effective because of your fantastic writing and the way you split it into parts. These were just snapshots into moments of unity, but they really emphasised the feeling of family, and how important it is to them. I guess that's something Molly continues to uphold, and the comparison between Fabian and Gideon, and Fred and George, ugh it just broke my heart. It was so beautiful!

I really liked the way each snapshot took us somewhere new. The Quidditch fight was lively and vibrant and make me think back to the book series, with Harry at school. Seeing Fred and George as kids was really nice, and gave me this fuzzy nostalgic feeling and a general feeling of absolute love for the Weasley's. But the thing that got to me was definitely the last one - the way these two brothers care for their family so much and they'd die to protect their sister. As soon as they death eaters mention her, the gloves are off. Just - perfect. This was perfect.

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura!!

It means so much to me that this had an impact on you and (even though it's mean) that you wanted to curl up for a bit. I'm glad the short sections were effective - it didn't feel like I was giving the story much when I was writing it. It's so exciting that the themes stood out to you while reading this. :'( Fred and George's scene was a bit sad to write - though I ultimately thought it was nice they got to know their nephews pretty well.

I think them mentioning Molly was the only way to get Fabian and Gideon to go down like they did. It's desperately sad to think she might never have known they died for her. :(

Thank you so much for a fabulous review!


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Review #42, by tangledconstellationsScars: Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015!

There is only one chapter of this? Noo! But this is so exciting! This is such an awesome first chapter!

I am so keen to read more, even though, from way Fenrir hesitated over the photo of Remus, I think things aren't going to go well. This was such a captivating first chapter, I can't emphasise that enough - I already feel involved in your writing style and the character of John...I'm gonna be super annoying and ask, will you ever update this again?

Your descriptions here are awesome because they're not too heavy. You give us enough to imply the setting and the way the characters are feeling, but it's not overwhelming. You write movement and interaction between characters really well, but at the same time you've still managed to set up the world around the characters and imply a backstory already. It's interesting that you've started with Remus as a child, because I think that will help us understand teenage-Remus when we come across him in later chapters. I'm just... eek, you don't know how badly I want to click 'next chapter'! I'm both captivated by your writing and frightened about what's going to come for the Lupin family. This was an awesome start!

Laura xxx

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Review #43, by tangledconstellationsNightmare: Nightmare

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015

Hey Grace,

I was super intrigued by the summary for this, and I admit, I do love me some angsty Severus. This was really cool, and really freaky, as well. I thought the way Severus is constantly plagued by this vision was really cool, because along with all his other general-angst (he's such an emo kid) this was just another thing to distract him, to make him even more flawed. I thought it was great.

The way he seems to be physically reacting to his nightmares was the thing that got to me, because it reminded me a lot of how when you wake up from a nightmare you have that moment of 'omg its not over' until you realise that, well, it is :P but I like the idea of that embedded fear staying with him. Whether it's really there or not I don't know, but that's what makes it feel scarier - is it real, is it not? When you combine that with the fact that at the end Sev is awakened by Charity Burbage it's just so scary and effective - because even if it's not real, even if she's not there, he's so afraid of what he's done that it feels like a wound. That in itself is terrifying.

This was really good and I think you did an awesome job on the freaky-front!

Laura xxx

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Review #44, by tangledconstellationsBrother's Blood: Tale of a fool: Brother's Blood

20th June 2015:

Swinging by for BvB Review Battle :)

I haven't read any of your stories in a while, so it was good to have a look over your author's page again!

This was really powerful, and really well written. I really like the length of this; I think it works so well as a shorter piece because it makes the impact a lot greater and makes the words you have used that much more cutting. This was just such a powerful, bitter and painful piece - in the best possible way. It was packed with emotion and I could feel Albus' regrets. I felt like I was inside his mind, along with this hissing voice that reminds him of his worst decisions. This was so good though. The tone of this is really effective, and, coupled with the visceral descriptions of the blood, and the scathing tone of voice, really transported me as the reader.

Even though we weren't really in a location, if you know what I mean, I feel like you've told a story here and have built up more about Albus' character. I love looking at the darker side of his character - the things that he perhaps didn't do right. Or maybe he did ~ who is to say?

Anyway you've got me ruminating on Dumbledore now xD but this was awesome!

Laura xxx

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Review #45, by tangledconstellationsThis is How You Love Her: This is How You Love Her

20th June 2015:
Heya again!

Reviewing for Ravenclaw for the House Cup 2015 :)

For someone that hates action, I think you did a pretty swell job at writing it! This was really effective - I think the thing that works so well here is that there is a balance of action but also of Cedric's contemplation. The writing is very in-the-moment but you also manage to include just enough of his thoughts to remind us that there are weights and considerations outside of this instinctual moment, the urge to 'win' the cup. It really warms my heart to read how Cedric feels about Cho. I love them as a couple, I love all of their awkward, blossoming teenage feelings for each other, and the way they're both still kids. But there's a real sense of how headstrong Cedric is here, the way he's willing to pack in being the champion for Cho. It's really lovely, and I think if Cedric had lived (*sob*) he would have been such a family man.

Your writing, again, is awesome, and it's been really cool to read this only moments after reading 'Darkness'. There's a definite shift in tone for obvious reasons but you've still got such a clear style. You're always really coherent with what it is you're saying and describing and adopt the tone of your character so well. Just - yeah - sorry for being the lamest fangirl ever. But this was great - and it's fantastic to see inside Cedric's head here.

Laura xxx

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Review #46, by tangledconstellationsDarkness: Darkness

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015.

Hey there,

I have always been secretly and eternally in love with everything you write ever since I signed up to HPFF, and to me this was no exception to the incredible caliber of things you post here - I thought this was just wonderful. You're such an amazing writer it literally blows me away, haha. I love the tone of this piece, the way it's gentle and absent but at the same time there is an underlying feeling of urgency. I love that you've taken a character we hardly know in the books, except that he is a 'villain' and created a whole world around him, his wife, his unborn child. Its amazing - this was amazing - and this just worked so well together.

I love how you've broke up the paragraphs, the way they are short segments into this woman's life. In a way it makes me as the reader feel distant from her, but in a way that it suggests that she is not exactly close to herself, too. Her feelings are changing so often, so not-quite-certain that it really hurts my heart. She is sort of so lost - and the way you describe her need for being a mother, but not quite being 'there' yet - its amazing. I feel really passionately about the domestication of women in the home, the way there is this ultimate standard of 'woman' and of 'mother' and this piece really spoke to me. Your lines have rhythm and there's such a sense of poetry throughout this piece. I really loved this, and I'm definitely favouriting.

Thank you for sharing! This was amazing ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #47, by tangledconstellationsFreshly Mown Grass: Freshly Mown Grass

20th June 2015:

Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015 :)

This story made me laugh, because it's such a lovely and pure snippet between Ron and Hermione. It was really enjoyable to read, and I love how its linked to 'freshly mown grass' in the series. I love how teenagery they are, how Ron is perfectly in character with his 'why-me' attitude in response to his mother, and the way Hermione abandons her usual bustling and logical nature to just have a moment of appreciation! :P This was so lovely though. I love the way Ginny is amused by Hermione, but she's not mean about it. And I really like the way you've described Ron, because it would be so wrong if he was super hunky. I feel like this piece is really true to their characters, so thank you for sharing this, because you've really done them justice here.

Your descriptions are so good here - I feel like every word has been carefully chosen, but the overall effect is so effortless. You're such a good writer because not one line here feels false or out of place. I liked the way you described Hermione hesitating on the step and lowering her foot back down - idk, it was just a little detail, but it really stuck out for me as being so fluidly written.

I really liked this - thank you for sharing because this was great :)

Laura xxx

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Review #48, by tangledconstellationsOur Brand of Normal : Chapter Two

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015

Whoo! So this chapter did not disappoint!

First of all, some things that I immediately ♥-ed in like the first 4 paragraphs -- your mc is in Hufflepuff! I know I'm Ravenclaw and all but...Hufflepuff ftw! I love seeing them lead stories! And: your mc ISN'T in the Wotter clan - yay for their being other students at Hogwarts, hehe! I love being able to see how other people view the next-gen kids! Also - NEWSLETTER TEAM. This idea is so great!! And there's already a bit of healthy rivalry between your mc and Mia ~ I feel invested already!

Ah okay so I love that chapter provided a lot more groundwork than the one before and it was really good! I love that already we've learnt enough about Charlotte for her to be interesting to us and for us to want to carry on reading. She's got a strong character this far and I like that she's not totally perfect because she's way more relatable this way. I also like Al's character because he's quite different to how I've read him before. I like that he's a bit of a popular kid - perhaps a bit of confident/jokery type person? But the main thing that I fell in love with about this chapter was the way your mc is clearly seperate from the Weasley's and the Potter's, and is maybe quite bitter about it?. In a way they sort of have this unattainable status that no one else can quite match, because they are famous. I'm excited to see this explored because it's a unique take on Next-Gen. I'm keen to see where this goes!

I really liked this chapter, and I hope you do manage to post the next chapter soon! :D

Laura xxx

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Review #49, by tangledconstellationsOur Brand of Normal : Chapter One

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015

Hey there!

What an intriguing first chapter! I have so many questions, and, as I clicked on this story to read this chapter, I spotted that you'd *just* posted the second one. Good times! I can't wait to read on!

This works so well as an introduction, especially as who the narrator is is unclear up until Al says 'Charlotte,' and the reason they're writing articles is unknown...but despite all of these things we don't know yet, there's an incredible amount of tension hanging in the air, and it's really exciting! I love the way your narrator is ruminating on what is 'normal' - it sets up the possibility for all sorts of changes to occur within the characters and foreshadows a really interesting story. I like that the approach you've taken is really contemplative - your character is definitely looking back in this first chapter (and the whole, 'I don't know where I stand with him' line is so tantalizing like you can't even believe!!!) and I'm really keen to see if this view portrayed in this chapter is going to be in the next one, or if there's going to be a difference, and we can expect Charlotte in the next chapter to grow into the Charlotte here. Anyway, this was a really awesome way to start this fic, and I'm looking forwards to seeing the ways in which your characters are going to defy and define 'normal'.

I'm excited!!

Laura xxx

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Review #50, by tangledconstellationsNoise: Noise

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015!

Ahh, this was so good!

I feel like, because Neville is one of those characters that you want to bundle up forever and make him happy always, having him as the victim of a werewolf bite is one of the meanest things you could have done :P But this was amazing. I really like the way you've written this - the way its in short, sharp moments - kind of like the distinguisable, key scents Neville can suddenly pick out. The moments are so clearly defined and so prominent, and everything else has faded into the background. I also really like the way you've included the relationship between Neville and his Gran, because she was essentially like a mother to him (even though he kinda feared her wrath I guess, haha) - but it made this piece even more about Neville, even more about his emotions and the things and people that are close to him.

I really liked the way you described his first transformation. I could really imagine him there, solitary, freaking out, knowing it's going to happen and trying to counter that with all of the happiest, most confidence-giving things he can remember. Including Neville thinking about Lupin was a really nice touch because in a way it made this partly about him too - about anyone that has to undergo the transformations. Having innocent and lovely Neville - who we all care about from the books - having to go through makes this such a unique piece.

I really liked this - thank you for sharing!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: I know. I'm terrible. But I got Neville in the Lycanthropy Challenge, so I had to do it! But he will overcome it, no matter how bleak this story was.

Writing the bits with his gran were almost more tragic than writing the bits with Neville himself. She's suffered so much tragedy herself and then to do this...well it was really mean of me.

I'm glad you liked the pacing! It was something new for me to try out, but I feel like it worked. Very happy it came off that way to you, too.

I've written transformation scenes before so I wanted to make this one stand out. After a while they seem to get repetitive. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :)

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