Reading Reviews From Member: tangledconstellations
  
255 Reviews Found

Review #1, by tangledconstellationsBreathe: ii. Bhaii

23rd April 2015:
Heya!

Ahh, I am genuinely so relieved that James and Sirius are cool now. Like, that is a weight off my shoulders. I thought Sirius learning Hindi was really beautiful and really nicely done, because it just emphasised how much he wanted to apologise to James and how he was going the extra mile to prove that he was sorry. Not to mention the language itself is so beautiful to read, so that sort of added an extra aesthetic to this chapter. The whole studious, solitary tone is really wonderful too - like this chapter felt quite 'quiet', if you know what I mean? I think it's really gentle and nicely written, and it makes the focus rest on Sirius and the importance of the Marauders friendship a lot more.

Sirius feeling bad about his sexuality was so painful to read, and yet you've woven it in really nicely, and it's so entirely believable that he would feel this way considering he's been brought up in that awful house. This was one of my most favourite lines: "He'd taken his mother's hissing about perverts and homosexuals, and he'd taken the flame that had burned his Uncle Alphard off the family tree, and he'd tucked it all into the back of his mind, and now it hissed and sneered at him and sent fear shooting through his veins." - the 'taken the flame' part is just a really incredible image.

Ahh, this was just a really fantastic chapter and I'm honestly looking forward to where you take it so much. It's heartbreaking that he doesn't feel as though he can contact Remus yet, so I have all the angst right now!!

Really, really beautiful. Thank you for sharing! ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura! Oh my goodness, I am SO glad that you enjoyed this!

It's a relief to hear that Sirius trying to learn Hindi came across the way I wanted it to. And I do know what you mean! I'm glad that the tone of the chapter worked so well for you.

The "taken the flame" part is probably one of my favourite angsty lines from this. I was a bit nervous that my meaning wouldn't be conveyed, but it seems like you've got it! So that's good to know.

Anyways, yeah! Thank you so much for the very sweet review! I'll have a new chapter up sometime next week :)

-Kayla


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Review #2, by tangledconstellationsin this moment: i am ticking like clockwork

22nd April 2015:
Heya! Just popping by for the review tag! :)

This one-shot was really lovely! I really enjoyed reading it and it's given me more to think about with regards to Lily/James. They're one of my favourite pairings so it was really nice to read them here ♥

I think your Lily is absolutely brilliant. She's the Lily I want to see in every fic and I love that she honestly doesn't need anyone - she is so in control. But yet at the same time you have suggested that she doubts herself a lot, and that she really worries that she's not in control and that she's doing things wrong and being too hard. But having her just sort of powering through anyway is so awesome, it's so realistic. She's such a strong character!

I liked that you interspersed other scenes here too. Her shutting up the Slytherins was awesome, and I really felt for her there. It's really easy to forget that Hogwarts would have been becoming a dark place at that time, and especially as she's Head Girl everyone would be a lot more aware of her, and consequently, her blood status. And actually I really like the way she interacts with James, because she's not absolutely dithering inside thinking about him - she's keeping it really cool and really collected with him. Maybe that's because she doesn't know what it is she feels just yet.

This was really awesome, so thank you so much for sharing! Your writing is really beautiful to read and this has such a great rhythm to it! ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #3, by tangledconstellationsYet: Yet

21st April 2015:
Heya!

Awuh, this was so sweet ♥ it was so absolutely beautiful, thank you for sharing this! I loved the way there was such tension between them, and I thought it was going to stay quiet and peaceful forever, but they ended up playfighting! It's so them, it's so lovely to read Lily and James just messing about and being cute.

This was a little piece of perfection, ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #4, by tangledconstellationsBreathe: i. Consequence

20th April 2015:
Hey there! ♥

This was such a GOOD first chapter. Oh my gosh I just want to know what is going on with Sirius and James right now and you have done such an awesome and successful job on getting me suitably hooked. I know you said that the other chapters will be longer, but I really liked this length to begin with. It's tantalisingly short because now I just want more!

I like seeing this side to Sirius - brooding, kinda sad, hesitant. It's so different to the self-assured Sirius normally portrayed in fics so I'm really excited to see where exactly you take him over the course of this story. This whole chapter feels really natural, like you've just plucked it from a real moment during his summer. But now I just need it explained to me, I want them to be pals again, I wanna knooww~~

Your writing was really gorgeous here, too. You conveyed a lot in quite a short word count and you set up a really effective atmosphere. Your descriptions were subtle but they really worked. And your enthusiasm for this is certainly catching - it was really nice to read you author's note at the beginning.

Eek - I am just really looking forward to more of this fic. Thank you for sharing! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Thanks so much for this review, it's really wonderful!

I'm so glad this worked for you in terms of a first chapter. I was nervous that it would be too short and not reveal enough, but it seems to have hooked people pretty well. So I'm super excited about that!

There's so much I could say in response to what you said about Sirius, but I'll try to keep it short. I think that Sirius was confident in himself to an extent - like, he knew he was handsome and he knew he was clever. But I don't think he was necessarily self-assured. Given his home life, I think he would have an undeniably fragile side to him, and he would HATE it. So that's what I set out to explore here. I hope the rest of the fic works for you in terms of his character!

Haha, I really am excited about this fic. I normally write one-shots, and I was pleasantly surprised when "Breathe" came pouring out!

There will be more soon! I've just had a bit of a delay in terms of some details in the next chapter. Don't worry, updates will be much more forthcoming in the future!

-Kayla


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Review #5, by tangledconstellationsRemember My Last: Remember My Last

20th April 2015:
Hey there!

This was absolutely awesome! I'm all for 'missing moments' from canon, and filling in the gaps. This was really, really great - so thank you so much for sharing!

I love the way you've written Dumbledore here. Right from the start he is so in character. Of course he's doing a crossword in the Daily Prophet when he's not out saving the wizarding world, haha. And I love that he has all sorts of sources of perfectly honest and innocent intel, via the portraits. I imagine that he engages all of the portraits in conversation every now and again, which is why he has such a good rapport with them, hehe. I love that they all get so involved in the on-goings here - but that it is always Dumbledore that makes the final call.

Your writing is really nice to read here. It's concise yet it is still elegantly written and it flows really well. You have a touch of humour (as with the beginning) but this doesn't overshadow the severity of the situation at all. I love that Dumbledore just knows what to do - it's as though he acts on instinct. Maybe he did. I think he must just be a very trusting person, and here its really interesting to see him trusting in Petunia, even though they are so many miles apart at this point in time.

I really enjoyed reading this so thank you so much for sharing. I'm actually currently writing a short story collection with 'filling in the gaps' moments too, which is why I was so excited to read this and to see your take on events. This was great, really really great! ♥

You should definitely write Dumbledore more! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for stopping by and giving this story a chance.

Your comment about of course he was doing a crossword made me laugh. I needed him to be doing something to pass the time and it just seemed so fitting for him, so I'm glad you thought it was like him.

Thank you for all the nice comments about Dumbledore. I was given him for a challenge and I was a bit nervous at first because, well, Dumbledore can be a bit intimidating so I'm glad you felt like I did him justice in here.

Thanks for the lovely review. =)


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Review #6, by tangledconstellationsFor Eternity: The Becoming

20th April 2015:
Hey there!

This was a really strong first chapter! You've set up the conflict really effectively straight away and I felt so sad for Louis :( At this point I feel really intrigued and invested in what's to come, which is definitely the mark of a good first chapter. The world you have established here has really captured my imagination.

*sigh* The part with Fred was really lovely, and absolutely made my heart hurt! It's really nice that these deceased characters are given voices again and I think that's a really important topic to explore in fanfiction. And I love Narcissa here. I've just written a one-shot with her actually, but it's so amazing how any one characterisation of her can be totally different. I'm excited to see what part she has to play later on, because it seems like Louis is really drawn in by her presence.

This was a really great start, and I'm looking forward to seeing what's going to happy to Louis. All the feels right now! For something that was out of your comfort zone, this was awesome and beautifully written.

Laura xxx

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Review #7, by tangledconstellationsfelt: Prologue

20th April 2015:
Heya lovely! ♥

So I've seen you talking about this on the forum and I've been super excited to have a read of this, so I jumped on it as soon as you posted it!

First of all: your banner & ci ~ they are SO BEAUTIFUL!! They are literally gorgeous you are so good with your graphics ugh I just love everything that you make. The colours are so just perfect and they make me really excited for the story to come. Agh they are just so pretty ♥

*ahem*

Anyway, on to your writing ^o^

This is such a cool idea, because I love Draco/Hermione and I love that you've got a really interesting reason for them to sort of be interacting without it being quite forced. I'm looking forward to Draco coming into this fic and how you're going to have the two interact. They have such an interesting dynamic! I love the way you've written Hermione here - she's sort of grumbly at the Aurors but at the same time she has that eternal patience for reading and learning which is just so her and it's so nice to see that. And I love that she's super on guard here as well, but is so ready to problem-solve as soon as she's faced with an issue. And she is the perfect witch to fix this. So much Hermione love right now!

The whole 1779 part was really awesome too - I think setting this issue up straight away was definitely the way to go, instead of having them learn about its origins later. It immediately made me really interested in why exactly you were beginning the story here, and I think you captured the sense of the time really well - the wax seal, the low light, the deep voices of the other men there. It was just really atmospheric and really gripping, and made the law they were writing feel very absolute and scarily convincing. So as soon as Cassandra was involved, scurrying down the hallways, I was so keen to know what was going to happen to her and why she was getting involved. Even though she was only here momentarily I still managed to get a lot from her character through what you had told me here, which just feels really rewarding. The way you suggested the importance of her altering the law was really beautiful, with 'On the night she died, decades later, she would still be asking the same question.'

This was a great first look at this novella, and congrats on writing something long that you feel proud of! ♥ Oh, I did spot a couple of typos, just bits and bobs where you'd missed off a letter here and there - a quick once-over will weed these out, I'm sure. But apart from that this was really engaging and really exciting. I'm honestly looking forward to seeing where this is going so much!

Laura xxx

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Review #8, by tangledconstellationsThinking About You: You, You, You

17th April 2015:
Hey there! ♥

So, I'm currently listening to the song you recommended - it is so nice! It's so chill and it really compliments this piece. Thank you for suggesting it because now I am a fan. :P

Anyway, on to your writing :D This piece was so beautiful. It was short and sweet and really enticing. Every line felt so incredibly emphatic and there was a really continuous rhythm throughout that carried me along. It sort of linked back to the really quaint descriptions, the constantly coordinated suggestion. I was actually tempted to read this as I saw you posted in the Ship It! Challenge, and I saw your pairing was Lockhart and Umbridge. This whole piece is just so absolutely them and I think you did such a good job for the challenge. Maybe it's the mention of colours, of neatness and I guess of admiration. It captures exactly what both of the characters are about.

I really enjoyed this. Your writing is beautiful - thank you for sharing! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Dear Laura,

I am delighted to know that you enjoy the song! It's one of my favourites, actually. I thought the 'you, you, you, you' bit would especially reflect what's going on here: that though there are two narrators, they're only thinking about one 'you.' :D

Aww, Laura. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so glad that you found rhythm in in and that you think the story, however unlikely or unusual the pairing, the characters' personalities still shone through and thank you for giving this one a chance!

This review is absolutely lovely, I really, really appreciate you taking the time to read and review, thank you, again! You're wonderful!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #9, by tangledconstellationsBruises: Terror

17th April 2015:
Hey there Kaitlin! ♥

I'm so sorry it took me so long to swing by for the review swap - I had some uni stuff that needed sorting and I'm generally not very good at organising my time :( I'm sorry you had to wait!

This was such a cool one-shot though, and I sort of want you to carry it on! :D I love that it's based within the wider HP universe rather than being straight up canon. It stretches the boundaries of HP fanfiction even more, which is such a good thing! You never really think about all the people with magical abilities that aren't included in the HP series I guess. And it seems so natural that there would be heartbreaking stories like this involved, because some people just wouldn't understand what's going on. You've suggested so much about these characters and their relationships and they are so fascinating to me, which is sort of why I want you to go back to their story! It was really interesting to get a description of Caroline's parents from a perspective not clouded by any sort of familiarity. That was really cool. The sisterly relationship between Caroline and Sarah was really well written, too, as it cuts through the din of Caroline feeling lost and trying her best to keep up with what is going on with her life right now, and provides a stability for her. The solidarity at the end was really beautiful, as well, and it brought this piece to a really moving conclusion.

The way you've formatted this piece on the page by sectioning it out into days is really effective. It makes you think about the duration of one single day, how they're really quite compartmentalised here and how Caroline is sort of recording them because they're the only piece of stability in her life at the asylum. I think the way you staggered her memories was really effective too. Her realising what had been done to her near the end of this piece had so much impact and you wrote it really well. It's absolutely sickening thinking about it, and having her realise that it happened to herself must be awful. Oh, also, the way you showed how disoriented she was at the beginning was really good too, because it wasn't too in-your-face, like you didn't go over the top stylistically. But at the same time you said enough to let us really feel how lost she is feeling, while also focusing on the important narrative, the thing that keeps us and Caroline grounded throughout the piece.

I really enjoyed reading this. The topic is so interesting, and in a way because Caroline is so disoriented throughout this piece it reduces some of the horror of what is going on. But that in itself makes the piece so much scarier, when you stop to think about it. Really, really well done. I would love to see you return to the sisters at some point in the future, but if not, this is wonderful and atmospheric and so intriguing as a stand alone. Thank you for sharing!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura,

No worries on the time frame. I'm not fussed at all about having to wait, so whenever you get here is just fine!

This definitely stretches into other parts of the magic world and it was really my first attempt to write about a non-cannon character. I really feel that magic would be received differently in different countries based on things like religious beliefs, cultural differences, etc.

It was kind of fun getting to write a view of Caroline's family that didn't involve much memory. I tried to think about them as if they were strangers almost. Only Sarah really triggers any type of reaction in her and I thought that that really speaks to how close they are. (or at least it does in my head)

I'm glad that the sectioning it off worked out okay. I was a bit worried that it might be too redundant and choppy, but I wanted there to be some way for the reader to judge time as Caroline sees it.

The amnesia was fun as well. I actually started at the end with that and kind of wrote the details backwards. I tried to think of what would be realistic to start remembering first. I figured that her first foray into magic might be pretty strong.

Your comments about my stylistic choices made my day. This was the hardest part, trying to incorporate her confusion and vague memories without destroying the plot or losing the reader. It delights me to no end to know that it worked out.

I've had a couple of people mention a follow up on the sisters and I may at some point revisit this, although I have no immediate plans to do so.

Thank you so much for your lovely review! I've very much enjoyed swapping with you!

~Kaitlin


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Review #10, by tangledconstellationsAesthetic Alterations: Library Aesthetic

16th April 2015:
Hey there lovely! ♥

Agh, this was just the cutest, loveliest one-shot in the entire world! I love that, even though it's still classic James/Lily we all know and love, you've given it a different edge and made it your own. And I think you used the word 'aesthetic' really well here. This piece is all about being yourself and 'aesthetic' is more of an ideal - that came across really nicely :)

From the wonderful descriptions you set up at the beginning with the light on the pages of the books, the whole piece felt so golden and warm and 'library-ish'. It was really lovely, and I had that image in my head the whole time I was reading this. In some ways there's something really comforting about Lily's appearance here, and the books that she's reading, too. Everything feels very 'just-so', and it's a really nice feeling. Everything feels organised and quiet, right down to her neat shoes and her hair bow. It's really interesting that she takes a lot of pride in her appearance, in her 'aesthetic', and that, even though it provides comfort and a sort of familiarity she nonetheless finds herself unraveling once she meets James.

James' effect on Lily was really subtley written - it's far more believable that it wasn't instant love-at-first-sight, and that he really grew on her over a period of time. It makes their budding relationship worth a lot more here I think. And it's really lovely to speculate on their relationship in an alternate universe. I think this is James and Lily all over :)

I absolutely loved this and I will definitely read more of your Jily AU's! This was gorgeous :) ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #11, by tangledconstellationsTaming the Dragon Tamer: [one]

16th April 2015:
Hey there!

It's Laura here for our review swap :)

So I have a confession - I absolutely love Charlie Weasley! I think he's such a neat character and I love that he totally goes against the grain with what his family's doing. I love the idea of him being a bachelor and loving his job, and I think you characterised him perfectly here. You included his passion for his job and the dragons, but at the same time you added an extra depth to his character in that he sorta wants someone, too. That was really interesting, and it immediately made me feel invested in his character.

I think you started this chapter at a good place - with his injury. You get a real sense of his frustration and boredom right away, which emphasises his interests and how much he wishes he was in full health again so he can work! I love that he's literally okay with any job, even tour guiding - he loves his job so much! But the way you introduced Mr. Parker was really seamless too. He's already integral to the plot. In some ways, he's a reminder to Charlie that he can't do his original job of looking after the dragons. And it's so telling of his character that he was worried the wheelchair might hurt the dragons. I swear, Charlie is meant to marry a dragon, haha! :D

The way you suggested Charlie's sexuality was really subtley done, too. You sort of built up the idea which makes it seem much more natural. His initial reaction to Mr. Parker was interesting...I'm excited about the next chapter! :D

This was an awesome first chapter! Thanks for sharing :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!
Thanks so much for the swap.

I'm really glad you like the way I write Charlie. He is such an easy character to write about, it's almost like he tells me what to type. He can also be very stubborn when I want something to happen and he just doesn't.

He's definitely my favourite character to write about because we don't know all that much about him. I have lots of freedom when writing about him because of that.

His work definitely is a big part of him. Yet he is still a very lonely person with many fears and problems. It takes a strong character to get him out of his solitude.

Chris is a great OC to do, he's so relaxed about everything. He's been through a lot as well and he gets Charlie because of that.

This story has taken over my head completely. I think about it all the time (and neglect my other stories and uni stuff for it).

It means so much that I got all these great reviews because this story is so important to me.
Thanks for reading and for the review swap

~Anja


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Review #12, by tangledconstellationsfall.: fall.

15th April 2015:
Hey lovely ♥

Can we just take a minute to talk about how absolutely beautiful and perfect this was? *sighs breathlessly*

This was SO beautiful. The setting was just mesmerising and the whole Teddy/Rose story line was woven in so effortlessly. I love the way 'fall' had so many different meanings throughout this piece. It added so much depth to it, making their moment so poignant and special and just so heartbreakingly wonderful to read.

Like you've got the ultimate perfect balance here. The images you've created through this piece are so beautiful and your descriptive writing is so flawless, yet at the same time you've managed to set up this really intriguing relationship between the two, and it has a history that doesn't feel forced and also a future that feels kind of imminent as well. This honestly feels as though you've plucked it straight from a real romance - it flows so naturally and I have no doubts at all about their past or what will be their future. I'm sort of rambling right now but I hope you get what I mean haha xD Ok, I mean to say that this is just so convincing as a stand-alone piece, and you've suggested at so much more of their lives surrounding this moment.

There were so many subtle moments here that I just absolutely fell in love with. The way the leaves blow into their faces and hair, the sounds, the really gentle dialogue between the two of them at first. There's such a neat pace and such a measured outlook here - it makes me wonder more about Rose's POV, whether she's trying to measure herself out too, trying not to get too invested in Teddy right now because she really feels like it won't work... *sigh*

This was just really lovely, and thank you so much for sharing. The colours, the sounds, all of it. It was just a pleasure to read. Let's hope we do more swaps in the future, eh? :P

Laura xxx

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Review #13, by tangledconstellationsDeath on the First: Chapter Four

15th April 2015:
So it was Pansy!

Crickey, I was barking up the wrong tree thinking it was a guy haha. Ahh, I didn't even suspect her - this was so good! I love that all the clues building up to this weren't 100% solid - it really felt like you were steering me towards Dean, so kudos to you for tricking me, haha!

Ahh, I really enjoyed reading this - you should definitely write another one, this was really fun. It's the perfect length as well - not too long, but just enough to really pack a punch! Thanks for sharing this! :D

Laura xxx

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Review #14, by tangledconstellationsDeath on the First: Chapter Three

15th April 2015:
Ahh! It's getting tense! It's getting tense!

I am so super excited to find out who it was and also why. The mention of the letter at the very end here just makes me wonder even more, and I just want to know now! Eep! I love that there's more context now, just as things are hotting up and the end is in sight. It's great that you've staggered the info about the characters and things as the chapters have gone by, because than in itself feels like a mystery being unraveled too.

I still don't have a clue about the narrators identity though - maybe I'm just the worst detective in the world, haha. I love the way the narrator is being so totally blase about everything as well - it makes me wonder whether they really are in as safe a position as they think they are... hmm! It's really great to see their observations as this has unraveled, and their internal reactions to some of the other characters!

Well, here goes...on to the final chapter! :D

Laura xxx

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Review #15, by tangledconstellationsDeath on the First: Chapter Two

15th April 2015:
Hey again!

Oh maan, this whole chapter I was trying to put the clues together to work out their identity and I still don't know! So, they don't dine with people much, and I assume (from the pool game) they're a guy, and they're a similar age to others. But how is it they can get away with killing of Padma so easily?! Ahh, I want to know!

I really liked this chapter - it felt as though you fleshed out the setting a lot more and I could really visualise it. I like the way the rooms have little plaques outside - it makes me think of a Cluedo board! The confined location is really cool too, because it means that the characters are gonna start to get under each others skin and things are going to get really tense!

Eek! Reading on!

Laura xxx

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Review #16, by tangledconstellationsDeath on the First: Chapter One

15th April 2015:
Hey Sian!

I realised I hadn't really read many of your stories so thought I'd swing by! I was straight away excited about reading a mystery, and your story summary grabbed my attention! :)

This was such a cool first chapter - I love that it's from the perspective of the murderer because it sets up so much intrigue. It puts the reader in a weird position because we're half on the narrators side because we're seeing the story unravel through their eyes, but at the same time it's like, they're a murderer! Gah! At this point I have absolutely no idea who it may be - though I assume they blend in with the other students so I'd put them at a similar age to the rest of them. I also assume they don't stick out much, so they're not an obviously shady character or anything. Hmm... I guess I just have to wait and find out!

This is really fun so far and I can't wait to read on :)

Laura xxx

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Review #17, by tangledconstellationsThe Other Weasley: Black Sheep

15th April 2015:
Hey there,

Welcome to the archive! ♥

This was a really cool first chapter - it was a lot darker than I thought it would be and it immediately grabbed my attention. Your interpretation of the next-gen characters is really good here. It's really original and very true-to-life. Often with next-gen everyone gets on and its all very rosy but somewhat unbelievable. I like that this is a fresh take on the families. I'm really excited to see where you take this!

I felt so bad for Molly throughout this chapter. Gosh it must be actually the worst feeling in the world feeling like you don't belong within your family - especially such an overachieving and magical family like the Weasley/Potter combo! It was really interesting that you introduced all sorts of tensions here - like between Audrey and Percy, and Lucy and Molly. It made this very intriguing and ultimately made me want Molly to be okay! Your characterisation of Percy is really original too. I like that he's got this harder edge to him now, that he's really pushy. It's a really unique take on him and is much more befitting with his canon-self, I think.

This was a great chapter and I'll definitely be reading the next one too! Thanks for sharing, and I hope you enjoy your time on the archive and on the forums :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey Laura,

thank you for the wonderful and long review, it really made my day!

I like that you enjoyed the first chapter, it was my intention to make the first chapter darker as you said, and I'm glad it worked. I think with the next gen it's very easy to get caught up in them being a happy family with their parents being heroes. But not everything is hunky dory, and I wanted to show this with Molly. The Weasley's are a rather public and famous family in the time of my story, and I wanted to show their shame if there was a squib in the family. Some members still loved her for who she was whereas others shun her.

I found it difficult the characterization with Percy difficult at first as I've never written him in the past. Although it came easier than I thought, seeing as he did turn his back on his own family back in the day. He's very ambitious and his goals are his main priorities at times that it reflects on his relationship with family, especially Molly.

Anyway I appreciate your kind words and hope the next chapter is okay! Thank you!

Ella xx


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Review #18, by tangledconstellationsHermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

12th April 2015:
I've been meaning to read this story for absolutely ages, and I am SO GLAD I have!! ♥

Honestly, this was such an incredible first chapter! You have such a way with words, and this was a real joy to read. Right from the very first line you had my attention and you've set up a fascinating tone, completely making it your own. Your descriptions were so good - and there was the perfect amount of tension and intrigue throughout. You write it so well! Truly ugh I am lost for words and am really struggling to put down how I feel about this - I am so excited by this story!! I haven't read a story like this before and I am so eager to see where you take it!

This is such a unique take on the HP world - I love the idea of a darker underbelly to the wizarding world, and I love that you're focusing on that here. It was a good move to start with Weston's perspective because it draws a real contrast between him and the inmates. He was a great character to start with as he's also provided a lot of info on the wizarding world at the time. This made me think a lot about the interesting complexities of working in a prison environment. I like how the guards feel intimidated but know they have a 'role' to uphold - and yet maintaining that moral high ground means they might potentially put themselves in danger, and get grabbed through the bars, that kind of thing. And - I love your version of Azkaban. Writing Azkaban is something I find really difficult but you've set up such a convincing and really quite intimidating picture. I got a real sense of the noise, the damp, the tension and the cold. It was really effective and immediately drew me into the setting. I felt myself feeling all cold and tense when reading it! Your descriptions are simply beautiful and worded so well. Describing Azkaban as a 'dark, geometric fang'? Not the most conventional description, but an absolutely perfect one for this piece. I immediately knew what you meant, and it not only gave an impression of the strange physical shape but also how dangerous it is, how sharp and venomous it is too. Ugh - just beautiful.

There was a whole section that literally took my breath away, it was so awesome:

"With a thud and a series of rhythmic, metallic clangs and snaps, the hidden workings of the cell and its many locks and countermeasures began to unfasten its hold over the prone inmate's surrounding environment. Slowly, the heavily rusted barred door slid down and away into the floor. It hit home with an echoing bang and the corridor was quiet once again. Weston felt his fingertips begin to tingle from the accumulated anxiety and growing stress as he waited for something, anything, to happen.

Nothing did. For almost fifteen seconds both Weston and Foster waited in a taut, electric silence as they tried to detect even the slightest change."

This is just written SO WELL. The tension is absolutely inescapable. I was so nervous/excited when I was reading it, half expecting Skerbetz to leap up and grab them or something, or to not be there at all. Part of me was sort of expecting something majorly scary to happen, too, like them being locked in or something. Anyway, my point is, my imagination absolutely ran away with me here. It was great. And I'm kind of glad that it turned out that he was dead, not because I'm a horrible person that likes people dying or anything haha, but because you didn't let this situation get ridiculous or unbelievable. From a guard's pov having an inmate die is a big deal - and their reaction to it is totally justified. And I love the descriptions of the silence, as though everyone knows, or everyone can feel it in the air. Ugh it was just great, it felt so human and real. I love that the reminder of these 'bad guys' mortality is still a scary thing, it's still something that makes the guards (and the reader) hesitate.

Now - the section with the girl getting the tattoo was awesome :D I love your descriptions of the cat, slinking away and tucking itself under her armpit. It felt so sort of nostalgic to read that, as a reminder of the really captivating and simple magic we see in the Harry Potter series. It made me think about the moving portraits, and how charming those were the first time I encountered them in the books. I love the Harry Potter series for many many reasons, but one of them is definitely the small details, the really unique and exciting small pieces of magic that capture the imagination. I feel like throughout all of this chapter, not just in the tattoo part, you've managed to emulate that. This fic is so rooted in the magic of the books that its honestly really wonderful to read. I think that's why I feel so excited about this fic. It's just so magical! :D

Ugh - I'm so sorry that this review isn't that coherent. But I just really want to get across that this is so freaking awesome. I'm sorry I've rambled a lot and haven't really offered much constructive criticism. I am so keen to keep reading (though I don't have much free time and it may be later rather than sooner) and I really hope this review gives you encouragement. Maybe I'm just particularly into this genre of writing - but also, I don't think it's just that. This is so original and so exciting, and the fact that your writing is brilliant makes this so much better.

I just. Ugh. I really enjoyed this. (Can you tell?)

Thank you for sharing this - this is such a reminder of good, well-written fanfiction! And now you have a uber fangirl. Sorry about that..

Laura xxx

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Review #19, by tangledconstellationsLetters to loving you: [one]

8th April 2015:
Hey there!

I thought I'd swing by and check out your fics as I saw you got some discouraging reviews. And, well, I'm super glad I did stop by! ♥

This was a really intriguing first chapter and I really enjoyed reading it. I love thinking about the 'clean up' after the war. It's such an interesting period of time, because everyone has to get back up on their feet somehow - even if its through the trial of dark wizards or just forgiving people, like Harry showed. I also LOVE that you've started with Draco, because I think he in particular would go through a really fascinating transition at this point. Obviously he still has the pride of his family, but I think it's great that here you've written him to be quite open to change and to showing that he's sorry.

I think it's quite important that Harry is the one to sort of get him off the hook. It gives them both the opportunity to be the bigger man and forgive each other ~ and it relieves a LOT of the tension that you've done that in this first chapter. I think for Harry getting all of this 'clean up' over and done with as soon as possible would be important, and making sure to do it truthfully too, would be just as. Rather than creating a setting that's quite stuck in the past and is grieving, straight away I'm struck by a wizarding world that's ready to move on and is really proactive. As a reader that is SO exciting! :D I love the attitude of this first chapter, and I'm really excited to see where you're going to take this fic :)

Eek - I'm short for time right now but hopefully I'll be able to read on soon! :D

:hugs:

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you so so much for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear after the last review. I'm so glad that you took the time to read one of my chapters, and I'm really excited that you like it because I've read some of your stuff and I really liked it.
Thank you again for your loveliy review.

~Anja


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Review #20, by tangledconstellationsTraining: Training

24th March 2015:
Heya Kayla!

This one-shot was just absolutely adorable ♥

I think I love drunk-Sirius. I can absolutely relate to Lily because whenever my friends get too drunk, no matter how inebriated I am myself I absolutely turn into the mum and try my best to be super rational haha. Lily is such a good mum. I love reading fics where she's just absolutely doing her thing and being awesome and looking after everyone. It's so nice. She's so nice!

I really liked how you sort of split this into three parts and had the encounters with Sirius mirroring later parts with naughty Harry. Naughty Harry is honestly the cutest thing, you wrote him so well! I love that here he gets a chance to mess around and to scream and stuff, because as soon as he's with the Dursley's I doubt they were half as patient as Lily and James. Having the one-shot split in this way made it really enjoyable to read - I was like, how will Sirius drunk-vomming be incorporated into the Harry part? - wait - oh - baby-vomming. Hehe :P

Your writing is really great too, it's perfect for the tone of this piece. You're to the point, focusing on the characters which is really important, but you're subtly hilarious too. I died: "Sirius placed a hand on James' cheek tenderly. "Hey," he said softly." I can so imagine him doing this, just being so inappropriate and James just being like, ugh, c'mon! :D It's so funny. And there were so many moments when Sirius was just being cute and it was like...I just wanna wrap him up in a bundle haha. I love that around James, because they're BFF's times a million, he can just be such a laze and such a kid. It's so lovely to read.

But yeah, I loved this! I thought it was awesome! Did you enjoy writing it? It's the kind of piece that would have me constantly giggling when writing it hehe. I am definitely going to read more of your stuff soon! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey, Laura! Sorry for taking forever to respond!

I'm so the Mum friend as well, so I know your pain! I really feel like Lily would have been the Mum friend as well so I'm glad that you liked the way I wrote her haha :P

I actually always wonder that abut Harry living with the Dursleys and going through his 'terrible twos' stage! What would they have been like? Dudley seemed to go through that stage right up until he was 16 but I always think about Harry :P

Sirius having a vom and then Harry also having a vom was the scene that started this whole one-shot, ironically! :P

Aw, thank you so much for the compliment on my writing! I've been going through a bit of a rut with it at the moment and I'm so flattered that you like it! ♥

I definitely enjoyed writing it, thank you for asking! :D

Thank you so much for your lovely review! You're too sweet! xx

- Kayla :)


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Review #21, by tangledconstellationsA Jealous Heart: A Jealous Heart

19th March 2015:
Heya,

I'm reviewing for the HPFF fundraiser on the forums :)

So, I decided to read this because I've been trying to read a lot more canon and trio-oriented stories, and I thought this was really cool! Once I realised it was central to GOF I was so in to it and in a way I wish it was a bit more than a one shot! I've always wondered about the Goblet of Fire from Ron's point of view, because his and Harry's fall-out is so dramatic and I wish I could see into Ron's head too!

But then, the twist at the end - poor Ron! I hope Harry and Hermione weren't *really* looking at each other like that, but I can totally understand why Ron would get upset over something like that. Especially as he's already feeling so pushed out and small. But - he's sort of starting to understand he loves her, right?! :D which is the silver lining! Even though I wonder whether he would admit that to himself at all at this point...

I do just get the feeling that this needs to be carried on a little bit more. Not just because I want it to (but I do want it to, hehe!) but because it feels as though Ron's feelings need to be wrapped up a little bit more. I don't know. What do you think? Haha!

But other than that, this was really great. It's refreshing to be in Ron's head for a while! :D

Laura xxx

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Review #22, by tangledconstellationsSnitch: Prologue

19th March 2015:
Hey there!

I'm reviewing for the HPFF fundraiser over on the forums :)

I thought this was really great. It's so sweeping and romantic, it captured my imagination so much. I love that Rose describes him simply as Him, as though he's a wondrous great figure, an almost godlike lover. It's so dramatic, but it works so well within this context. Your writing is beautiful, too. There's a real sense of movement within this piece, of things floating and whooshing gently, as the scenes do, from one to the next.

The poem was really beautiful and the way you gradually built up to it in this chapter was nicely done. Even though this chapter was quite short, what you've set up is definitely intriguing. I want to know why their relationship apparently failed, why there's so much tension between Scorpius and James, why he seemed annoyed at Rose on the Quidditch pitch...so many questions! But because you've so gracefully just *touched* upon them they are literally mysteries to me at this point, and I just want to unravel them!

Hopefully the second chapter will be available to read soon, because I would love to see where you're taking this. :) sorry this wasn't overly constructive!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura,
Thank you for this wonderful review. Sorry I haven't been able to get back to you -year 10 has a really big increase in workload! Unfortunately, I am changing this story back to a oneshot for the time being, though I do have a few ideas for later chapters. The co-writing thing didn't really work out, as I knew where I wanted to take things in the story but we didn't agree on plot points and that sort of thing.

I have started working on the next chapter, but it won't go up until I am completely satisfied that it matches up with the prologue and does the Harry Potter series justice in terms of writing quality. I am definitely not one for putting up shoddy writing!

I hope you will keep an eye out for the second chapter, when it comes. Here is a preview of what I have written so far:

***Sunlight streamed through the large window above my bed, creating dappled patterns on the silken covers. Muffled voices came from behind my door. I trembled, and slipped from the covers, padding gently across the room to press my ear to the hardwood door.***

If I continue it, I am planning on having the chapters from Scorpius' point of view, and then an epilogue returning to Rose.

Lea :)


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Review #23, by tangledconstellationsScars: Falling Apart

19th March 2015:
Hey there,

I'm reviewing for the HPFF fundraiser over on the forums :)

You've really got me interested in this story with just this quite short introduction. I'm so curious about Hermione's torturing - I think it's because she's normally such a strong character it's heartbreaking and sort of inconceivable that she would be so majorly affected by it. It makes sense that she would be though, because it's such a horrible thing to have happened to her.

Once she's woken up from her nightmare its absolutely clear that she's not okay. You've made that really clear from your writing, and I think the last line in particular is great. It really packs a punch. I don't think we've ever really seen Hermione in a moment of weakness, and having you show it to us like this here just makes me want to find out whether she'll get out of it all okay. While short, this first chapter was certainly gripping, and it'll be great to see where you're going to take this story once you've updated :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hello, it's great that people seem to be enjoying this story so far, even though it's quite short.

My original idea had been to have the standard, Draco comforting Hermione after she had a nightmare and having them randomly fall in love but I definitely have a different approach in mind now.

I was even wondering about throwing some Harry/Hermione action in there...

Thank you for leaving such a nice review, it really made my day :)


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Review #24, by tangledconstellationsBack to Black: Epilogue: Time Turner

19th March 2015:
Hey there!

I'm reviewing for the HPFF fundraiser over on the forums :)

I absolutely love this idea, it's so cool! It's something I wish would happen to me and I relate to your character too much. I am forever listening to the HP soundtrack and totally zoning out! Just wish a magical time turner would appear next to me _ *is jealous*

While we don't know much about your protagonist as of yet, I'm keen to learn more about them in the next chapter. I like the idea of this parcel appearing just when real life is being pretty mean, what with the horrible father. It's like escapism, but absolutely real. I'm sure we'll learn more about your characters past, and I hope during this story they'll learn lessons they can take back with them to make real life not so bad. I like that you've started this chapter with the 'ordinary' - now, on to the magic!

Great stuff, and good luck writing the rest of it! :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I really appreciate the time you took for my story, even if it was for the fundraiser! It's interesting that we all think we have a special relationship to HP, when in reality this feeling is pretty relatable. I hope you keep on with the story...it'll be a party. I'm trying my best with getting the magic going hahah

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Review #25, by tangledconstellationsStained Glass: Chapter 2

19th March 2015:
Hey,

I'm reviewing for the HPFF fundraiser again :)

This chapter was absolutely gorgeous and added so much more to the one you've already posted. You've managed to create such a lovely, gentle tone here, perhaps because of Luna's calming effect, so much so that Draco's attempts to be offish and sharp are foolish and fail. It seems just right that he can't maintain his hostility when faced with her.

There are a couple of moments where in your narrative you falter and seem to ask the reader something, like here: 'and she sounds wondering?' I thought this worked really well as it really puts the reader in Draco's shoes, how suddenly who he is and who he's trying to be crumbles slightly. Like he's forgotten his lines, what to do next. It's really effective and really lovely.

The magnetism between the two of them is incredible, too. I've never read a Draco/Luna story, and have always been a little unsure as to how exactly they'd work together. But I can see here, so clearly, how exactly they would work together. Luna absolutely neutralises Draco and gives him the comfort and the kindness that he so desperately needs and craves. And, because it's what he needs he's sort of unintentionally giving her the time to observe him and for her to see the good in someone and for it to be really valued. The way you've written them, the timing of this chapter, is pretty much flawless. It's such a pleasure to read, honestly. The way the two of them are coming together here, how Draco's fascinated by Luna's non judgmental eyes, it's really special.

I've really enjoyed reading this so far and I can't wait until you update :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you! I like the way you put it, that it's as though he's forgotten his lines. It's absolutely right: he's spent his whole life building up this facade of being the perfect pure-blood, acting his lines to perfection. But then underneath he's so vulnerable and afraid, and he can't do all the awful things that are expected of him.
Yes, she does 'neutralise' him. :) I think they fit each others' personalities so well, not because they're the same, but because they're different.


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