Reading Reviews From Member: tangledconstellations
  
180 Reviews Found

Review #1, by tangledconstellationsFor the Living: Stages

9th November 2012:
My lovely Rin,

It has been far, far too long since I read any of your work, and I've been meaning to read this since you posted it! Real life is such a cow sometimes, but I am super glad that I've managed to get this down, and give you a well-deserved review full of squee.

I really, really enjoyed this. Even though it was very heavily about grief and about this great loss and regret Marlene feels you do still manage to create something beautiful from it. Throughout this, I could almost hear white noise, hear Marlene literally fading herself away from anything real that reminds her what she's lost. Yet, the way you've described things shows the way she's experienced this loss. It's not a great gaping hole, and she's not howling and wailing. This line is so, so spot on: 'Her grief drips and trickles out of her, and she cannot begin to patch the leaks.' She is wounded and she's not letting herself heal - that's how I see it. The encounter with the salesman, too, just shows how lost and absent minded she's become. I really, really feel for her :(

One thing you did ask me to comment on was the choppiness of this piece. You really needn't have worried though, because I don't feel it is an issue at all. I loved the pace of this, the distance there is between this piece and the reader, (which somehow manages to tighten the bond nonetheless) and your use of italics and brackets...it all really worked for me. You've also notably switched your writing style throughout, which I guess does make the piece choppy like you intended, but it more predominantly shows how up-and-down Marlene feels, during this awful up-and-down time. I think it's lovely that you have managed to stick to 500 words, so the pace is absolutely fine. I do wonder what it would be like if it was extended to, say, 1,000, or 1,500 words, and whether it would become too choppy then. But here, this is perfect, completely and utterly.

What breaks my heart (and makes me fall in love with all the more) about this piece is the obvious anger Marlene has for Edgar's death. Instead of her moping, she's a character with real pain and an obvious fire in her, even if this has made her feel all but just flickered out :( When she is angry with him it doesn't seem unjustified at all - I really think you've done an astounding job at expressing how she's feeling and why, but at the same time letting us decide at the end of it that it is grief twisting her thoughts, and it's something we can't really begin to understand. Really, really beautiful.

You should be ever so proud of this piece, because you've managed to make it so breathtaking and heartbreaking in only 500 words. I guess that shows what a really inspirational and amazing writer you are :)

Laura xxx

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Review #2, by tangledconstellationsWhen The Storm Breaks: What Might Have Been Lost

18th October 2012:
Hey again!

It was great to return to Narcissa in this chapter. I love that you've turned the general view of Narcissa and Lucius being inherently nasty right on its head, because to me they seem quite lovely. It's amazing to see them as actual people, and not just the parents of Harry Potter's enemy! Their meetings and their very very initial feelings towards one other work really well - especially considering the Siobhan character from the previous chapter. I know I said before, but I love how this isn't a 'love at first sight' story, yet you've still managed to include the slightest bits of attraction here and there too.

Something I do really enjoy about this fic too is that you don't just slip over the rest of the family members. I can tell you're making an effort to include Bella and Andromeda, which is really great. For some readers, it might be the family dynamics that they really want to hear more about, so I think it's good that you've kept these well rounded and interesting. As with Lucius and Narcissa, they're not all typically bad either, yet their are inklings about their future. I loved the earlier line where the servants couldn't quite put their finger on what was strange about Bella...lots of foreshadowing to the canon Bella we know!

I really enjoyed this chapter - there's a swiftness about your writing that really carries the reader through your chapters. Saying that though you never seem to lack on any of the details, and the images you paint are always really beautiful. I loved Livia arriving - the awkwardness and the tension - it was perfect! :D

Hope you're doing okay with the next chapter, and an update won't be too far away! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey :)

I loved writing this chapter. LOVED it! There's something about writing Narcissa that makes me smile. I don't believe that they are nasty people when amongst themselves. There's a certain loyalty I found within these pureblood families while reading the series. I like emphasising that they are people under those masks who have their own problems, and who aren't pure evil. I must stop, otherwise I'll turn this into 'in the defence of the Slytherins' post. Oh no, definitely not love at first sight. I think for now they've developed an understanding. Lucius sees small comparisons between himself and Narcissa, and I think that's what draws him to her. Cissa, at the moment, is trying to be polite.

While they are based off of Austen's characters, I still want to introduce them as we know them from canon. So, Andromeda is passionate, Bella is spirited, and Narcissa…she tries to be the glue that holds things together. I honestly cannot write this story without any of them. It would not be fair.

Ah yes, Livia. I thought that scene was funny. Seriously. She tends to have that affect on people :P But it was the beginning of the end, and most likely a taste of what is to come for her new household.

I'm trying to finetune some things at the moment. But I hope to get out the new chapter in a few weeks time.

Thanks for being so lovely with your reviews, Laura.


Lia


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Review #3, by tangledconstellationsWhen The Storm Breaks: It's Just Another Brick in the Wall

17th October 2012:
Hello! I'm so sorry it's taken me forever and a day to get round to reviewing this. My summer was the weirdest ever, but now I'm at uni I've got way too much free time :P

I was so absolutely absorbed by this whole chapter. I was just reading and reading and reading, and reaching the end actually surprised me haha! I really, really enjoyed this. You've brought in a lot of new elements and challenges that Lucius has to face, and as a character he is growing into someone that I really like. He does have so much responsibility, and holding the family up when he doesn't quite feel as though he should be must be so difficult. A lot of the tension is really expressed through your writing, too, which, by the way, is as mesmerising as ever. The overall sense of this third chapter was one of weariness and pressure but at the same time I got the impression that there's got to be a moment where Lucius breaks out of this. The anticipation is heightened!

I can't remember which parts I've touched on in previous reviews, but I'm going to say this just in case I haven't already: your writing is gorgeous! There's a simplicity to it that isn't overbearing, and you set the scenes in a really lovely way. I like the switching of scenes too, because it gives things a quirky disjointed sense that compliments Lucius' feelings. The way you described Siobhan and Lucius too was really effective - there were elements of sexual tension and a little bit of longing but you snipped that back with Siobhans somewhat dominating character and her need to know exactly how he is - like a true friend would ask. At the same time there was a gentleness about their moment together as well. The two of them are really interesting, and I'm beginning to wonder how this slots in with Narcissa, too.

Ooh, something else I really enjoyed was the way you flipped back to Siobhan and Lucius meeting. It was really lovely to take a break from the present for a moment. Rather than telling us how they met you showed us how they met, which is always one thousand times more effective and encapsulating than paraphrasing! The way they talk to one another is perfect - short, snippy, but carefully. I basically think this review is a Siobhan appreciation rant, haha! But no, she's an awesome character to bring in at this point.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take this! I'm still quite not over the fact that Lucius is the good guy in this - it's such a fantastic perspective to take. Loved this chapter :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura,

I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to this. I've had a hard time thinking of what to say.

I'm trying to put a lot of things in perspective for him. It's been a while since his father passed and he is still trying to learn new things about what his title entails. At the same time, his natural development is stifled. I agree with you. He still feels as if he's way too young for this. There are too many things happening all at once for him. His mother's pressuring about finding a wife, his relationship with Siobhan, his family, his father's influence, and what he ultimately wants. I loved writing the scene with his mother the most. She's a bit inconsistent with what she wants. She preaches, but apparently does not practice, and all of it has made her grow resentful. Maybe all of them might get a moment where they can break away.

I'm glad you think so, thank you. Siobhan and Lucius. Hmm. Before I refused to see him with anyone but Narcissa, but these things are never set in stone (in the fandom). She can be a bit bossy, but there's this quietness about her that I like, sometimes Lucius doesn't have to say anything at all because she would just /know/. I loved the kiss on the inside of the wrist. It's so…old fashioned and hot at the same time. All I have to do is make Lucius wear a cravat then have him loosen it. The more I think about how this story will progress, the more I appreciate the fact that she is a true Ravenclaw. Narcissa will shine…at least I hope she does.

Hahaha. I like the sound of that - a Siobhan appreciation rant/review/post! (she would too). She happened to catch him at an interesting time in his life, I think. It was the point where he needed someone other than his family.

Well, every bad guy has to have a beginning. This is my version of his :)

Thanks for reading!

Lia


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Review #4, by tangledconstellationsWildflowers: Egyptian Heat

12th October 2012:
Hey again!

Compared to the last chapter, the tone of this was so hot and claustrophobic and damp and eugh, I could feel the heat and the tension and everything! But saying that, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I love that I was able to get that sense, even if it wasn't the most comfortable. I hate arguing when its too hot, because everything bothers you! The last line too made me giggle, because it was like an irritable after-thought :P

Asides from the heat and the sweat (which I do think you portrayed really well) I thought you captured the Egyptian kinda culture well too. Like, with the marketplace and the amazing architecture. I loved that Elsa was completely in awe of it all and just wanted to go exploring! The creepy woman though - eep! A little bit ominous. It's gonna be interesting to see how right she was. I hope she wasn't at all though, and I hope this break is flawless for them. But saying that, Gareth's short temper is something that could only cause future problems for them all...

Ahh, I said I wanted to see Sirius in this chapter, but not as a divide between them! But when Elsa said she missed him, I was a little bit secretly glad...is that bad?! Ahh, Elsa doesn't know what she wants and I don't know what I want for her either! I think they were both being overdramatic and overtired and generally overreacting earlier, and there isn't just the one of them to blame. Elsa shouldn't have mentioned Sirius so bluntly, and Damon shouldn't have got in such a strop. But yet, at least they can both see their true colours!

I really enjoyed this chapter!

Laura xxx

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Review #5, by tangledconstellationsWildflowers: Complications of the Heart

12th October 2012:
Hey Len!

I am so, so sorry about the ridiculous wait for these reviews. I think you requested in...July? I have been so unorganised! :( But finally finally finally I have found some time, and it is really nice to be able to read a familiar fic again to get me back into the swing of HPFF.

I found slipping back into this fic wasn't as difficult as I worried it might be, having not read it for so long. In fact, it was really quite nice to blindly read the first few paragraphs before going, 'oooh, yeah, I remember!' and having the previous chapters come flooding back.

Elsa is such a lovely character, I'm pretty sure I've said before. There's a charming modesty about her that so many writers try to give their characters but that they don't quite achieve. I'm glad she's not boisterous or over the top or awkward or anything. She is just who she is, just like the readers. I really like, too, that even when she is at her worst she is trying to keep her head and remain rational, but even so needs her friends to keep her tied to the ground. Being so emotionally confused is the worst, and I think you've made her reactions and general thought processes so believable. I mean, sometimes characters just fly off the handle, and you just can't imagine them doing that in real life. But with Elsa, her feelings kind of resonate in such a normal teenage girl kind of way.

I am always fascinated by the different ways people write Lily Evans too, and the way she is here is just super. I like that she's a little bit moody and knows how to stand her ground, and at the same time isn't afraid to let Elsa know how she feels. I loved this bit: 'They walked in silence to the library, neither wanting to mention that maybe the other was right.' - it captured that whole moment brilliantly! :D and how, at the same time, Lily wouldn't dare consider giving James the time of day right now, but it's funny because we all know she will end up making like Elsa/Damon with him! Girls are so stubborn :P

As for the relationship crisis...I really am warming to Damon. But then saying that there is like this innate part of me that adores Sirius no matter what, and wants him to be shipped with everyone haha! Damon was pretty romantic though, and he obviously does like Elsa. There is nothing evil or nasty about him in the way he acts towards her, apart from the whole being-friends-with-her-creepy-brother thing. But we can brush over that. And like Cordelia said, many families did have ties with You-Know-Who, so maybe it shouldn't be a big deal. Maybe Elsa is just looking for issues to scare her off because she can't quite make up her mind alone. I am looking forward to seeing Sirius again though soon :P I have missed him! And I want to see is Damon holds true to this romantic-lovestruck picture he has been painting...!

Laura xxx

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Review #6, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: The Tale of Timothy Bones and Muggle Fans

12th October 2012:
Hey lovely!

Ohmygosh, it has taken me forever and a day to get round to this third review. (errmm, only 2 1/2 months) But alas, here I am!

I really enjoyed this chapter. You said in your areas of concern that you worried about dragging the journey/initial chapters out a bit too much. I really don't think you have though. There's something ever so whimsical and anecdotal about these chapters that ties in completely with the tone and mood of this fic and what you're trying to achieve. If this fic was dark and intense maybe it would be different, but for the time being I like how every moment of hers is a bit of an uphill struggle. It just means we get to know her all the more :)

MOTH. That is the cutest name ever. I love how their friendship hasn't immediately blossomed like Harry's and Ron's did - it kinda makes me think that the rest of this fic is going to be a bit more perfectly dysfunctional ;) the way there is a little bit of early conflict too is super, because all of these things just help us to get even more of a grasp on the characters, not to mention making this a million times more funny. Honestly, your humour writing is the shizz! I seriously wish I could be as funny as you. One day I'm gonna give writing a comedy piece a go, but I bet it won't be a notch on this.

Taking a break from this (because of my awful unorganised life) and coming back to reading this third chapter was actually really interesting. In my head I could still remember the things that had gone on before, and literally slipped back into this chapter with no problems at all. That, to me, is a mark of a great piece of writing, and I am looking forward to the chapters to come! The whole Gran thing the second time round was as funny as the first - I don't think you're overdoing it yet at all. I love the way she blames her Gran for her own stupid mistakes - a little shortsightedness in a character just makes things all the more interesting ;)

Lots of love for this chapter, and I'm so sorry about the atrocious wait.

Laura x

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Review #7, by tangledconstellationsA Session With Nova Spacelove: Custard Yellow

3rd September 2012:
Hey!

I just thought I'd drop by and leave you a little nonsense review :)

This was honestly hilarious! I don't think I've ever laughed so much at a fic on here. Geraldine Bychance - I nearly died, hahaha! And aside from how awesomely hilarious this was, it was still super well written. Nova is such a quirky character - I kinda wish you'd extend this to more than a one-shot. :) and I think you wrote Molly perfectly! Ahh I am kind of rambling, but yeah, this was just brilliant :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Geraldine Bychance, hehehe. :3 Nova was delightfully ridiculous to write, especially with Molly egging her on. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you. :)

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Review #8, by tangledconstellationsIvory: Ivory

2nd September 2012:
This was so beautiful!

I wish I could sit and write about all the millions of tiny things you have done to make this perfect, but I know I'll be here all day. Just, the fluidity of this, and the way their movement felt like dancing. It was all just so lovely. It's such an achievement, and you should be ever so proud of this. I know in the future I'll be coming back to read this a thousand more times :) ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much Laura! I spent a long time on this, making sure every detail was planned out and metaphored and cross-referenced and everything, so I'm so glad you saw those tiny things I did haha. I think almost every sentence has a double meaning, which can be read different levels if you could be bothered to look for them haha!

Thank you so much :) I'm very proud of it :D


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Review #9, by tangledconstellationsGlory: Glory

1st September 2012:
Rachel!

I haven't read anything much for such a long time, apart from the odd chapters of things here and there, and I've been making mental notes to pop over to your author's page! I hope you're okay, and I hope this little review makes you smile. ♥

I really liked this one. It was ever so touching. I loved the alternation of the viewpoints, and the way that somehow even though the underlying theme is quite sinister and unsettling you manage to create something beautiful out of her death. The way there were so many voices in this really shows how much of an impact one person losing their life can have.

Your descriptions were astounding and in many ways very inspiring too. It's a wonder how you can make so many things sound so beautiful! You used such an array of adverbs that everything sounded so animated in the loveliest way. Usually this is something I'm awful at, so again with the mental notes! I loved the way, too, you used to many powerful one-liners, or the use of just one word. It made this at times so hard hitting, just when it needed to be.

This was gorgeous and achingly sad all the at the same time. And, it is an achievement; one you should be proud of.

Lots of love,
Laura xxx

Author's Response: Smile indeed, lovely. I'm so sorry it's taken an age to reply. I'm so rubbish with this site these days :(

I'm so happy that sinister aspect shines through. I wanted it to feel a little uneven, like something was missing that the reader couldn't put their finger on, only for it all to come together upon second reading.

Single lines and one word sentences are my staple, I think! They come quite naturally for something like this and I'm glad they have an impact.

Thank you so much, Laura. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply!

xx


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Review #10, by tangledconstellationsUntainted: Victorious

1st September 2012:
Hey lovely!

Thought I'd leave you a little review! :D

I really enjoyed reading this - short and sweet! I loved the way you set up each section in the same way, and you carried us through their relationship so gently. It was so lovely, too, to have Teddy's worries interwoven between each section, as well. It reinforced the fact that the two of them know each other inside out. I felt like their relationship was so rock-solid throughout this.

I also really liked the way Victoire was much more humble and gentle in this. Almost, a bit less sure of herself. Normally, people characterise her to be this loud boisterous character, but I really like your Victoire. She's so genuine :)

I really enjoyed this! I'm so sorry this review is so short, but I thought I would scatter some happiness as I floated through! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura, and thank you! I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to post a response for you!

This piece was my first foray into next-gen, and it was kind of interesting to write because it's got this surface-level fluff that seems to hide some darker undertones. I'm glad you felt like it flowed nicely and that you got a good sense of Teddy and Victoire's relationship.

Something I like to do a lot in my fics is try to turn stereotypical characterizations on their heads. With canon characters, that usually means looking at a canon trait in a different light. With next-gen, though, we don't know much about any of the characters, so I wanted to challenge the portrayal you mentioned and try a softer Victoire here :) I'm glad you felt like it worked well stylistically.

Thanks so much for your sweet review!

-Amanda


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Review #11, by tangledconstellationsMagnolia Street: Coral and Black

1st September 2012:
This was everything perfect in the world, plus so much more ♥

THEY KISSED. AHH. SO happy right now! And, and, 'warmth'. ♥ this is the cutest moment in all of the history of fanfiction forever until eternity! My heart kind of stopped when Scorpius hadn't moved an inch. And I breathed again when he said do it again! I loved that this was so fast paced - I can't actually believe he made the first step and dived right in there. I guess because Lysander is quite cut off, as we've mentioned before, with his methodical way of thinking, when he does do something I expect it to be justified and explained. But he totally just acted with his heart right here! I think that's what makes this moment so much more powerful, and what makes him such an exciting and likable character!

It was really great to take a step away from his apartment/the ministry/the city and have a setting that is fresh and breezy and just somewhere that acts as a catalyst. Saying that though, it is so typical of Lysander (and you, guiding his adorably-deceptive scientific brain processes!) not to have mentioned any feelings of love or attraction or anything before this kiss. All we see is that he seeks him out at the alter, and, and, and he recognises his voice and, OH, just, the little things that reinforce familiarity with these two. Must be the sea air! And, Lysander acts so surprisingly compulsively here too - I feel like every time I read a new chapter there are 100 more sides I see to him each time. I adored the image of him semi-dozing in the chair. It was so lovely. HE is so lovely. You manage to make everything so real with your descriptions, like, the way he'd blink a lot after being woken up, and the way he'd talk ever so politely, like, 'I can't see who you are exactly!' and just oh a million things, really. You really flesh him out in such a fantastic way. I don't think I'm being coherent again, though. This always seems to happen when I read this.

And, Rin, your descriptions in this chapter were SO mesmerising and beautiful and just WOW. I got this really rustic picture of the wedding. Rough around the edges but in a way that reminds you how delicate and beautiful the moment is. After all of this, it makes me wonder all the more about Lorcan, too. I think he must be kinda happy with the wedding - it seems he's made sure it all looks wonderful :) (oh, crap, I digressed again - ok, descriptions) And, yes, where was I?, everything, every tiny and brilliantly big thing you describe just comes across as amazing and intricate. Like, 'only the immense, ivory moon lit his path.' IMMENSE IVORY. I would have just called it the moon, but you make everything just so pretty and perfect and real! I know I've said it millions and trillions and I probably always will keep saying it billions and jillions, but I love your writing style so much ♥ It's so effective, so careful and so, so readable. Everything, from the first encapsulating line (the stationary boulder in a sea of tempestuous water) to the last fleeting word ('warmth' ♥ ♥ ♥) - it's all crafted so brilliantly. You should be constantly proud and amazed with yourself, and not only just with this chapter, but with everything you write. Your writing is so distinct and just so gentle and bold at the same time. So much Rin writing love right now!

Thank you ever so much for mentioning me in the authors note - that is so, so sweet of you! It makes me so happy to think I'm helping you with this, even if all I'm doing is getting stupidly overexcited by every chapter :D and thank you also for updating so quickly! I hope this review also gives you a little boost and makes you re-fall in love with this story, because it is kind of wonderful :}

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Laura x

Author's Response: OH MY GOSH LAURA where do I even begin? Let me just start by saying that I was looking forward to you reading this chapter because I hope (HOPE) it was sort of what you wanted and I was writing it with you in mind (like I said, your last review just did wonders for my enthusiasm). Gah. So much love. So much gushy love. Cannot even... function... properly.

Thank you for mentioning my little sleepy seaside town! I was just thinking that it would be a lot more fun to romp around in than the dreary old city (and we've seen far too much of that already, haven't we?). I had such a vivid picture when I was writing it; I'm really pleased that it seems to have come across to you!

I was actually really worried about not straight-out mentioning any attraction between them before they actually kissed, I cannot even tell you. But I tried to be vague: seeking out in the crowd, and all that. I hope it was OK. I'm certainly glad that you seem to think so!

Baha, you're being plenty coherent! I was beaming the entire time I was reading this - just beaming. You should know that.

I'm super, super happy that you liked the wedding scene. It's sort of hard to describe a wedding when I haven't been to one in so long, so I hope all the details were OK.

GAH THANK YOU SO MUCH. I just cannot even comprehend comments on my style, especially coming from you. They completely melt my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I like to think it's something I've been working at for the better part of five years. :P

Oh, you're definitely helping, dear! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited you make me about my own story. You've been a vehement supporter since day one and I absolutely cannot thank you enough.

asdf;lajdfa;dlsfa;dlfjk

Love reciprocated fully,
Rin
xx


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Review #12, by tangledconstellationsThe Brightest Star: the littlest king

1st September 2012:
Hey, lovely,

Indeed I did stick around til the end, and I'm super glad I did. This was beautiful, through and through. I love Regulus, and I've always been really timid about reading him on this site just in case the writer doesn't quite get him right. I don't like to see him tangled in love stories or portrayed as childish or anything. But, I honestly believe that you have made him the Regulus that sits and lives in my mind every time I read the series or think about them. Really, truly. Thank you ♥ this was wonderful. You made him numb and cold but somehow angry, too, and completely consumed by his thoughts, and just everything about him was amazing. He was so low throughout this, feeling insignificant, yet this whole piece shouts of sparks and wholesomeness and one hundred things I can't quite explain. It was just entirely completely mesmerising and so, so inspirational ♥ again, thank you. You should be so proud of this piece ♥

Laura x

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Review #13, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: Choking and Whistles

28th August 2012:
OH MY GOD HAHAHA: "But perhaps when I come of age, then everything will change. And I'll fly into the Burrow for Christmas dinner like, 'Oh, didn't I tell you? I can fly now. Roast Beef? Oh I'd lov- Oops got to go! Danger calls!' And then I'd fly out and they'd all be like woah. I wish my daughter was a squib." YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS LAUGHING AT THIS. I think you are my comedy soul-mate.

This was such a good chapter! I love that, in a literal sense not much has happened so far, but you've told the story so well and you've got me all caught up in her anxiousness! I can't imagine just picking my things up and going would be like just like that, especially when going to the school might feel like it's making the whole wizard/squib situation worse. I like that we saw the softer side to Molly. I felt that she was genuinely a bit panicked about leaving, which again makes me think that she must be a bit insecure. She is lovely though.

Hahaha Mr Whestle, what a lad! I was just like, eww gross when reading that! He's kinda cool though. In a freaky way. I genuinely did find this whole chapter hilarious, and I love that you kept the balance brilliant between not too much narrative and a little bit of dialogue. It all reads so well and so vividly, and the sarcy comments and one-liners just MAKE this.

Yet, even though this is so funny you still manage to give it such an honest and heartfelt reality check. Like, the last paragraph: Molly experiencing what her cousins have. The last moments of this chapter are written so beautifully. It is a far cry from the Hogwarts Express horn, because she's stuck somewhere in between normality and absurdity - normality very well being the muggle world. It was so nice to experience the sentimentality of this moment with Molly :)

Laura xxx

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Review #14, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: Ice Skating and Belly Dancing

28th August 2012:
Hey love!

First up, I apologise profusely for taking so blumming long in getting round to reviewing! I have been so so busy and I feel so pants about neglecting my review thread! Finally (what - about a month later!?) I have found some time :)

When you posted on my review thread, I was straight away really excited about reading this! The idea is so cool - a school for Squibs! I kinda love Molly to pieces already. She's kind of hilarious :D She's so fiery and random as well - I get the impression that this is kind of her defence mechanism for feeling a bit bad about missing out on so much stuff :/ but nevertheless, she's quirky and I like her a lot :) I do think she is believable too, so you needn't worry about that. She has an edge to her, which is great! I like that she's a little awkward because it shows she has flaws, and is thus more believable :)

I really like the whole thing with her Gran! I find it so funny! One thing I would suggest though is to maybe outline it a little bit more at the beginning of this chapter. I understood it, but I don't know if that's because you pointed it out on your review request. It's really unique though. It makes us know Molly all the more - passing the blame onto other people :P I don't think you're focusing on it too much. I think a little more would be overkill but right now I think you're at the right place with it. I mean, this situation would be super awkward and difficult for her, she her mind is wandering and like I said a sec ago, she's passing the blame. It'll be interesting to see how much more you focus on this in later chapters though :) if ever it does become too much, I will let you know! But as the initial 'getting-to-know-the-characters' chapter, I think this is alriiight! :D

I love the whole Weasley-clan thing, and the coming together of all the extended family. Molly is such a sore thumb, she's so cute. And JAMES. God. He should keep his mouth shut :P I love next-gen's where the family are all so close. It's just so lovely and I'm so glad you've stuck to that. But, at the same time you've really made it your own by including Molly's sarcastic side-comments, too. It colours it so much more :D

This was a great first chapter - on to the next one!

Laura :D xxx

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Review #15, by tangledconstellationsChristmas in Prison: Christmas in Prison

28th August 2012:
A little review for a beautiful one-shot (:

I stumbled across this one and genuinely did fall in love with it! It's so lovely. It's so calm but so stormy and I think you've captured Draco's anxiousness so well. It must have been awful in his shoes. Luna too - the way she slips into desperation. :( so powerful, considering she is so airy most of the time. By the end of this I kind of felt numb, just because I felt so much for each of the characters in such a short time. This slips back into canon so well too - it was just brilliant.

Your writing is just so wonderful and I really should read more of your things :} ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: eee thank you! it was a wee bit hard to write, so it's always so lovely to get positive feedback on this one. I've written Draco and Luna countless times but I still struggle with both characterisations so this fic was especially tricky in parts. I'm so glad you liked it and that you felt for the characters :3 thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #16, by tangledconstellationsMagnolia Street: Tumbling, Suddenly

28th August 2012:
A Belated Review for a Beautiful Rin!

Okay, so now that I gave you your sensible feedback via pm the other week, I can legitimately FREAK OUT with excitement over this chapter in this review and rewrite the whole thing with AHHH's in between! First of all though I am SO SORRY it took me forever and a day to get round to posting on here. I forgot to do it before I went on holiday, and then I was going to do it ON holiday but I only had my rubbish iPhone screen so I HAD TO WAIT :( but here I am!

I honestly thought that meeting Scorpius and really having them chatting would be a little more drawn out than this, but I am SO GLAD it's not. This is perfect. Brilliant timing and the best way ever to poke this story along :) They are just too insanely cute. They're both antisocial dorks getting drunk in an antisocial dorky pub and I'm happy this is by no means cliche/too over-dramatic right now. You could have made this all unrequited and everything, where they never talk ever again but I'm glad that they are talking and have the opportunity to know each other! I'm glad that Scorpius isn't too out of his league or anything, too, or doesn't think he is at least, because I just WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BEAR THAT. SO GLAD he's not a douche. The last chapter was great in really getting to know Lysander (and he is a lovely chappy) but I feel as though in this one we know Scorpius more. Like, he's a bit brash sometimes and his confidence has got to be a facade. I kind of like that I don't like him as much as Lysander. I feel like an overprotective mother with him hahaha. But in the same way, to be drinking alone in a bar with just his thoughts - it makes me wonder if Scorpius is okay after all. And then I think of how much Lysander can SAVE HIM and I get so stupidly excited about the next chapters and how everything has got to be okayy ♥

I am so amazed and inspired too by the way you keep up the Lysander-ish tone of the narrative. Everything is very black and white and grey with Ly. Like, the way you described the sign: 'There was a shrill singing of metal on metal, a sound that was almost familiar and yet strangely unsettling'. He has to analyse the sound and liken it to something and know why it makes that noise and just think so much about everything. There are so many bits like this that you include that just make me think 'wow, how do you remember to keep this all up?'. It's really refreshing because then I feel like I'm not just reading a fanfic, I'm reading Lysander's story, full of his quirks and habits and character. It is just really lovely and really inspiring.

I really liked, too, the way Lysander had more of a voice. It was as though this confidence just blossomed out of him for some reason. He was so frank when talking to Scorpius, like when he pretty much admitted that he feels second best to his brother. Would he have normally said this? I'm glad all these fiery feelings are being voiced, even if he's unsure about them right now or maybe will be. But I suppose it's good too because he just straight out asked Scorpius to go with him to the wedding, like BAM. I was taken aback and AHH I grinned for ages. Like I said before, Lysander had the potential within him to mope but I'm so glad he's not ♥ AHH I'M SO GLAD THEY'RE GOING TOGETHER.

Though I bet you're gonna do something really mean. Like...Chapter Four: Lysander woke up and it was all a dream.

I WOULD DIE :(

Hahahaha I can't wait for the next one :'D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura, I'll let you in on a lovely little secret: your review has inspired the actual sit-down-and-write-the-bleep-out-of-this part of writing the next chapter. You are so, so marvelous, and I cannot begin to describe how motivating you are! I'm about 3/4ths of the way through it right now, and I keep checking back on this review so I'll finish it!

I'm also not quite sure how to respond. It's all just so lovely and GAH you are amazing. I guess I'll go bit-by-bit.

I'm so glad it's not cliche/over dramatic! That was a big concern - obviously I wanted the two to talk, but I didn't want it to be like "SO I'M GAY AND WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU NOW." And in my head, Scorpius is a lot more confident and good-looking than Lysander is, but that doesn't make him arrogant or out of Lysander's league. I'm glad you like that, too!

I'm actually really pleased that you don't like Scorpius as much as Lysander! I think you're almost not supposed to - Lysander is the main character, in my eyes, and Scorpius is there to mix things up (either in a bad way or a good way, we'll see).

Ha, yes, Lysander definitely has to analyze absolutely everything, even the sound of metal on metal. In terms of "keeping it up," it's really just the style I'm used to with this novel - before I start writing anything, I'll read a few chapters before it and get myself as comfortably as possible into Lysander's head, and then the analyzing bits normally come naturally. Normally.

YOU UNDERSTAND LYSANDER SO WELL it just kills me. In a good way, of course. Gah. I admire your perceptive powers, m'dear.

Ha, I wouldn't be that mean! All a dream. That's definitely a cop-out. :P

All my love,
Rin


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Review #17, by tangledconstellations730 Whispers: one for each night

28th August 2012:
Hey lovely,

Thought I'd drop by to give this one a little review!

Lavender is such a unique character. I know what you mean about her being super annoying in the books, but then despite that she was a person in the same way Harry and Ron and Hermione were. It was kind of nice to have her story here, how you imagine it to be.

Your writing is so hypnotic and super effective - I kinda wish this was longer! Nevertheless though, this was lovely and has made me rethink the Lavender in my mind :) beautiful!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Eep, thank you! :) I have a soft spot for all of the minor characters in the books, especially as I've tried to look at the HP wars from different perspectives over the year. Glad you enjoyed it! ^__^

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Review #18, by tangledconstellationsJust Rose: They'd Overdone It A Bit

4th August 2012:
Helloo again!

I kinda feel bad for Scorpius. I know I probably shouldn't right now, and yeah, he is overly creepy and he does have slicked back hair, but I guess he does really like Rose, and that's kinda cute! I could have died when he overheard them badmouthing him. I felt so bad for him! But then at the same time - he was at the window!?! And Molly...she is the best. In the worst way possible. She is cheeky and she is a busybody and I love her for it. Without her, how on earth is Rose actually going to do anything?!

I'm really enjoying this! Like I said before, no part of this feels forced or false or anything. Rose is instantly likable, not just because she's geeky and relatable. I like that she is a bit too hotheaded and that she's awkward. Your writing just makes it seem that much more genuine. This just really stands out against all the romcoms I've read before, because of little things that make it real...like, the way instead of blushing cutely and inappropriately once or twice to make the character endearing, Rose blushes profusely and gets all flustered. Which is SO realistic. I don't think I have ever blushed in an adorable manner. I tend to look like I've been working out when I'm embarrassed. So many things about this so far just make it stand out and make me love your characters :)

I kind of like that at this point Rose has made no impression what so ever on Teddy. It makes me think about all those times (we've all been there) I've spent hopelessly thinking about one guy...until I would realise how much time has passed and nothing has happened, haha x) Because we don't know that much about Teddy just yet I kind of get the impression he's almost unattainable and so far ahead and I guess out of Rose's league in a way - but then the fact that this story is about Rose's crush on Teddy it makes me all excited because we're going to find out more about him and they'll start chatting and eep!

This is great :D hopefully I will get round to reading some more soon - but I kinda feel bad about neglecting my review thread, so I think I'll send it some loving before I visit chapter 3! Can't wait to carry on though :)

Laura xxx

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Review #19, by tangledconstellationsJust Rose: Let Them Eat Cake

4th August 2012:
Hey, lovely!

You posted on twitter that you wanted to reach 400 reviews, so here I am!

I have always wanted to properly read this fic - its one of the names that I hear about all the time but I've never quite got round to really settling down and reading it. This first chapter, though, was so ace, and so funny. It was so much more effortless and honest and in a way more realistic than a lot of the humour's I see on HPFF, because sometimes they come across as quite forced. But Rose is just perfect - flawed, but not annoyingly so, and I bet really kindhearted too. It's gonna be an interesting story!

Next-gen's are always so cool because you have all these complicated family ties to really make your own. I felt like you did that so well here! Teddy and Victoire - ugh I can just imagine them now, looking perfect together. Probably wearing matching outfits or at least complimenting colour palettes, hahaha. Because this has so much Rose/Teddy potential, I am so excited to read on. Anything with Teddy in is just beautiful! I love the way he hasn't spoken yet though - it makes me feel all the more as though Rose is well and truly cutting herself off from him. Does he really have no idea? Oh, Rose. Tell him! Tell him!

:D can't wait to keep going with this!

Laura xxx

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Review #20, by tangledconstellationsNothing Else Matters: Chapter Six - Severus

4th August 2012:
Hey again!

I've reached the end! :( Oh no! I'm going to be one of those really annoying reviewers and say UPDATE SOON UPDATE SOON! :P

You warned me about potential Sirius-slating in this chapter, and even though I am secretly a massive Sirius fan, I really really liked this chapter, and it was actually kind of fun and interesting to see him portrayed in such a bad light. I only ever really read him when it's pro-Sirius, so in terms of expanding my reading horizons - thank you! Your take on him is really refreshing actually. In the books he is kinda mopey and actually a little scary and out of control but they're character aspects I usually brush over and cover with, 'oh well he was in Azkaban', haha! But here you've drawn the attention on to the fact that he is as stubborn as he was when he was younger and he is hotheaded (not an attractive quality). Sure, I guess it is from Sev's point of view so it is a little biased, but at the same time it's very rarely that Sev gets a point of view like this and he is the one we all thought was bad and was actually good! In the books Harry like, idolises Sirius' every move in a really child-like way, but I felt as though this chapter was really rational and contrary to the usual Sirius interpretations. It was great!

As this is chapter six, you can really tell the initial rose-tinted introductions have worn away by now, and there are going to be all sorts of spanners in the works. You left me on the edge of my seat at the last chapter, feeling as though something really awful was going to happen. And, alas, you've done the same here! This was something I was worried about - the Order coming between Avrille and Severus. I hope they find a balance soon. Him not being able to tell what she's thinking, and her not wanting to tell him - heartbreak central! I kind of wished that at the end of this chapter Severus could have told her about the prophecy, about everything...but then I guess he is trying to protect her. But is he making it worse by not telling her? I don't know. Because then I think of Char and Avrille's responsibility, and SEV'S responsibility too...gah! It's so confusing and difficult. And that much, at least, you have shown so well. It will always be impossible for these characters to decide how to act and decide to speak when they should or shouldn't, because they are in such a unique and difficult position.

This chapter was ever so snazzy though because it felt so vibrant. I loved your introductions to all of the Order members - it'd be great to compare them to Harry's idyllic portrayal of them in the books! There is something quite liberating about viewing all of these scenes again but from an alternative viewpoint. Like, Harry, having his massive rant! I loved that part. In the books it is just so intense but here he's just a nuisance - which I guess he would have been when he was throwing his strops :P At this point, I think you have converted me to being a Sev-lover. I NEVER thought I would say it...but here I am! Haha! No, but in all seriousness there is a wisdom to Severus and like I said earlier, a responsibility (though this time to Harry and Dumbledore etc and not just his family) that he has got to uphold and maintain. He is a very strong character, very strong indeed. My respect for him just doubles with each chapter.

This was great, honestly :) your story is so absorbing and I am excited as to which direction you're going to lead it now. My heart has gone out to Avrille, Char and Sev and I want things to be okay for them, really truly! But yes, another fantastic chapter. Do let me know when you manage to update because I can't wait to read on :)

Laura :) xxx

Author's Response: Hi hi! Sorry for the couple day late reply again. It's been hit or miss with my toddler wanting to take a nap and it's totally impossible to sit down and write something coherent when he's awake, even a review reply. That's part of the reason I've written...oh...NOTHING of the next chapter yet :( But hopefully the bug will bite me again soon. It's nice to know there are nice people out there like you looking forward to more, but then once in a while like right now the pressure makes me kind of shut down and procrastinate. Works in progress are HARD!

So I'm really glad you didn't think I was overly critical of Sirius. I assume most people who read my stories are big Snape fans so might dislike Sirius like I do because of what a jerk he was to Snape in the books, but there are obviously also people who like both characters. I definitely don't like Sirius but also didn't want to bash him for no reason. He had lots of good qualities like being smart, determined, protective and stubborn when he thinks he's right. Oh...wait, much like Severus! Hence why I think they dislike each other so much in my mind. What you mentioned about giving Sirius a lot of leeway because of Azkaban is a very good point, and something I'm bringing up whenever I get around to writing the next chapter so Sirius is portrayed in a more balanced way. Of course Severus is going to only see the bad things because he doesn't think the excuse of having something bad happen to you is a good enough reason to act however you want. Severus probably views Sirius as being weak because he can't move past what he went through (which I think is a little harsh because, yes, Severus had a hard life but being tortured for 13 years is unimaginable.) Avrille's view of Sirius is tainted by her love for Severus and his built-in prejudices (a similar thing happened in the first story with regards to Harry) so she's going to have to learn from others that Sirius isn't all bad like he's been acting and how Severus sees him.

The Order is definitely going to cause some problems between them. It would be unrealistic to think everything would be ok with them in this book because they're both under an insane amount of pressure for different reasons. Severus is literally risking his life on to of dealing with regular school stuff and Avrille feels very trapped and useless since she's stuck at home with Char when in the past she was able to rush off and be a heroine.

I guess since I read the books in my 20's, I always viewed the characters slightly differently than people who started the books as children themselves. I ALWAYS thought Sirius was irresponsible and hotheaded while teenagers might have idolized him at first, like you said Harry did. I also always found Harry's outburst so annoying in this book even though I get it's because Voldemort's mood is affecting him. But it still felt nice to throw that little barb about his wizard angst in there.

So as I've said over and over, thank you so much for your reviews. They really helped me a ton. Hopefully I can shake this writer's block I have soon. It's not even like I don't know what to do... I guess I'm just really tired so it's hard to find the right words to describe the scenes in my head. Thanks again and I'll definitely be requesting whenever I'm able to post a new chapter!
~Renny


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Review #21, by tangledconstellationsErebus: always watching

1st August 2012:
Hello lovely!

I decided to read this one-shot because I thought the pairing was really interesting - I've always wanted to read a Tom/Minerva, but have never found one that captures my imagination - until this one! I really really liked this, probably because to me it was totally believable and you remained incredibly canon - something I respect very much! Even so, you managed to take quite a unique ship and really make it interesting and actually totally understandable, because of course things don't work out for these two.

I was actually amazed by the subtle characterisations of Minerva and Tom. You write so amazingly well! I love that Tom is so strangely detached from the reader here, but at the same time Minerva is too. It kind of shows that in a way they are similar because they are quite introverted and so absorbed in study. It also reflected the time period a lot too though. I liked the part where Minerva took down her hair despite 'not usually doing that in public' - it felt very proper, very ladylike. I also really liked the way the two spoke to each other. They were very courteous, and not gushy or anything. It made me think that this is ship that isn't destined to work, and I love your take on it. I sometimes forget that Tom is like, THE Voldemort, but here your portrayal of him was very, very good and so well written. The way he watches and smiles to himself...it's quite unnerving, and does hint at his crazy psycho side, haha! It was also so interesting the way you included poignant events of their year, like the murder of the Riddles and Myrtle being killed - his reaction was flawless each time.

I really, really liked this. It's given me food for thought and has really left an impression on me. Ultimately, despite the things they have in common the two of them are so different. I think your last two lines really summed that up so well :)

Laura xxx

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Review #22, by tangledconstellationsComptine d't: Comptine d't

31st July 2012:
Hello, lovely!

I thought I'd pop by and give you a little review for this piece! It was ever so lovely, and I really did like this. The tone was so gentle and steady - it made me feel all lazy and warm like a cat in the sunshine or something :) I think you write fluff pretty well! Yet, even though this is squishy and nice, your writing is still so delicate and pretty. I can't explain it, but this piece feels quiet, as though every tiny moment and sight is magnified one thousand times. I loved this: Then, once again, theyll separate like spider from web, joined by a single thread - and how you used it earlier on, too. It's such a unique way of expressing them, and is so imaginative, again making me think about the consideration that's gone into this, even if it isn't overly long.

Another thing that really made me smile about this was the way everything seemed to be personified and thought about - just like the spider simile - even down to the weather. "The evening breeze tucks itself..." is such a gorgeous way to start your paragraph, just because it makes the elements that much more alive and personal. This whole piece was just so gorgeous - really truly :)

Laura xxx

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Review #23, by tangledconstellationsGame: The Last Match

29th July 2012:
OH, LOVE.

THIS WAS THE MOST PERFECT ENDING TO EVERYTHING I'VE EVER NEEDED IN MY LIFE EVER.

Honestly, since I started reading this fic I have been addicted. I have actually been thinking about it when I haven't been reading it! At work today, while tidying the sale rail (I work in retail!) I was conjuring up possible endings for this, and DREADING reaching this point, but at the same time as being SO excited, too!

This is such a triumph of a fic. You should be so proud of this, even if it is a little older now compared to the recent stuff you're writing at the mo. It doesn't make this any less brilliant. The sheer number of reviews is so impressive already and should just show you how many people have adored Rona and Oliver and Penny and Hannah and Roger and and and and. everyone, as much as I have! I've always been a little daunted to read fics that have so many reviews; there are so many epic stories on HPFF that I know I've got to get round to reading at some point, because they've got to be amazing to get so much feedback. This is one of them! I'm glad I've read it. Be so proud of yourself. Please do be. You really are an incredible writer.

This was...amazing. Fun and funky and fluffy and fab. I'll definitely be checking out the sequel in the future. But right now - thank you for this :'} the most perfect ending to the most perfect fic.

Laura xxx

Author's Response: YOUR FANGIRL

HAS MADE ALL MY DAYS

SO MUCH.

Like you can't see me, but as I'm responding, every few words, I just flail my hands up, because I don't know how to translate that into my response. But I am physically flailing, I thought you ought to know.

I've grown up with Game. It was my first piece of writing. I rewrote so much of it, went back and edited it even months after it was completed. The great thing is, looking into my other writing, I can see how themes in my other stories have branched out from stuff I wrote in Game that I didn't expand upon as much as I wanted to. I think as old as Game will ever get, I'll always love it. It's like a home :D

Bahaha, the sequel really isn't much. I really mean it when I say it's a short story collection of mindless fluff so, it's like ah... a coffee break sized piece of fun? xD It's random cute stuff I just want to post because I have it, aha. I think I will write more of it next year though. Game/Play is the story that follows my own life the most, and now that I'm crossing into adulthood and I'm starting to learn what it's like to live on my own, I can write that for Rona too. That's more of the overarching theme of that one.

AHHH Thank you so so much again :33 ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #24, by tangledconstellationsGame: Intervention Convention

29th July 2012:
You are such a little monkey! I totally thought something AWFUL was going to happen, basing it from all the enigmatic hints in your authors responses and authors notes...except now it's a 'happy epilogue-esque frolic through the Ravenclaw - Gryffindor game!' :D :D :D i cannot wait for ittt!

This chapter was so wonderful and i love that you tied up all the loose ends. Finally, there is peace between Rona and Roger! And Rona and Oliver...and just generally RONA AND THE WORLD. :} so many hilarious one liners in this chapter. and beautiful moments - Oliver squishing her from behind! I melted. this was really lovely :'}

Eep, so on to the last chapter! Irregardless of the fact that it will be over, i bet in the future i'll return to this fic again and again :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: BWAHAHA. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if I made something terrible happen, but on the other hand, I love a happy ending ;D

IT'S LIKE ONE STEP AWAY FROM WORLD PEACE~ kind of. I just want to group hug everyone :3

♥ gahh I AM JUST SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!~


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Review #25, by tangledconstellationsGame: Everyone but the Girl

29th July 2012:
YOU CAN MAKE IT OLIVER. KEEP GOING. *plays chariots of fire*

Oliver's viewpoint really worked so well here. You can kinda see how stubborn they are BOTH being. {: if he had thrown that clock i swear i would have punched him. then steered him in the direction of Rona. i love the way that neither Oliver or Rona are the bad ones in this situation. usually with like, 'couples conflict' theres always one you can kinda blame, but this is so teenagery and so real and honest. the amount of times me and my own boyfriend have fallen out (though admittedly not over Quidditch) and neither of us know who is right or wrong - it's just so real. i love that Oliver does so obviously care, though :'}

ALSO - PERCY. YAY! i feel as though he properly gets a moment in the spotlight here, and i love him a million percent. he is so sarky and pompous i want to wrap him in a blanket and squish him!

on to the next one! eeep!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: You totally made me relive the days when I first posted this chapter 8D I got flooded with RUN OLIVER RUN! reviews and it was totally like there was this cheering section in made up of my readers and it was the best thing ever. ♥

And hee, I'm thinking you read my response earlier, but yes, I totally looked at my own couple conflicts with the bf. I remember in the beginning, most of them were the little things we don't even realize we're doing, especially when an issue is a bigger deal to one person than the other. Those are the hardest things to learn.

Hee, I had such fun writing Percy 8D He has his concerns in the right order.



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