Reading Reviews From Member: tangledconstellations
  
191 Reviews Found

Review #1, by tangledconstellationsThe Ides of March: Nothing thicker than a knife's blade.

19th December 2014:
Hey again lovely! ♥

I really, really, REALLY enjoyed this chapter :D In some ways, it felt stronger than the first. I found myself identifying and understanding the characters even more so. You've really set the wheels into motion now, and it'll be interesting to see what happens in the next chapter. I think it's great that you've ended this chapter with Helena committing herself to her feelings for Eleanor. It makes the potential next chapters very powerful and driven, because now you've got a character that has made a decision for themselves and has got something (in Helena's case, her love for Eleanor) that is worth sacrificing things for. The stakes are set higher for the chapters to come, because now we know Helena is willing to risk a lot for Eleanor, we just don't know in what ways that might materialise later on.

This chapter honestly did work really well as a continuation from the first. You needn't worry at all, although I totally understand where you're coming from. I think it's easy to worry that the chapters don't quite slot when you yourself have had time away between each one, because then you get concerned that your readers will view them that way too. But for me, I didn't feel as though the style or the tone or anything changed. Rather, it was a natural progression. Helena was a little different, but it was a good different and an example of a welcome character growth. Time has passed since the first chapter, so we can't expect her to still be head-over-heels for Eleanor as explicitly. Instead, it was really effective that at this point you were starting to show the doubts creeping in. I totally go back on the point I made in the first chapter's review about maybe should Helena be more concerned about her sexuality - I should have waited until I read the second, ha ha! Sorry about that - but anyway, in this chapter you showed that really well. I was really engaged when reading of her conflict, as she walked away from Eleanor and refused to look at her. Those moments in particular were very engaging, very visual (no doubt because of your really lovely style). It was very convincing, especially as now you've provided us with more of a religious backbone and you've pushed the pressures of Helena's mother and Aunt to the forefront a little more.

Helena as a character is one that I've already found myself really liking. And, actually, Eleanor too. (I don't know why I surprised myself by writing that - I think I've trained myself to be suspicious of liking characters early on, ha ha!) Having Eleanor as perhaps the more headstrong, defiant one of the two adds a certain attractiveness to her. I'm glad that it's the inside of Helena's mind that we can see in this fic, though, because it heightens the contrast between them. I think if this was from Eleanor's perspective it would be difficult to understand either of them in such a way that being inside Helena's mind provides us with. Helena is just as headstrong in some ways, but she's more concerned with the pressures from her family, from society etc. It grounds their love story in reality, which is important. Yet saying that, Helena is STILL so in love with Eleanor. Seeing her constant conflict, the way she is almost trying to save them both, is really special. It makes their feelings more real and their feelings worth fighting for, too.

Ah, again with your beautiful writing style! Every now and again you slip in these wonderful lines that just make me melt and totally absorb all of the feelings and loveliness from the piece. The last lines of this chapter were utter perfection! There is a really low, gentle rhythm to these two chapters that I think is maintained through the scattering of these really powerful lines. It's almost as though it's the work of Eleanor, or Helena's feelings for Eleanor. They keep the piece moving, reminding her of how she feels and what this means. The stuff in between is all the other stuff, like...doubt, and plot, and conflict, etc. But those lines transcend that. It's those lines that blow the reader away and that exist for Helena as a grounding device, to keep her headed on the right course. Which, for Helena, is to Eleanor and no one else!

I really loved these two chapters, and I'm really looking forward to when you next update. (Hopefully soon!) Let me know when you do, and I'll drop by with another review for you. These were two really well-written and powerful chapters, and I hope the rest of the story progresses well for you. It has so, so much potential right now!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey Laura, and wah, wah, wah thank you for this lovely review, it really has made my day! :D

Haha, that's quite funny that you preferred this chapter to the previous as I wasn't too sure about this one as it was more focused on doubt and less action and more thought so I wasn't sure how interesting it was to read, but you've made me feel a lot more confident about it now, so thank you for that! I get what you mean about Eleanor and Helena now having a grounding because declaring your feelings for one another, and the fact it's based on faith is no easy feat so this will continue to effect them throughout the story.

Phew, I'm glad you thought there was natural progression because as well as there being a big gap in between the first two chapters, this was all written during JulNo so detail wasn't very high on my priority list and I wasn't sure how much attention I paid to it during editing too. Haha, no I still think your comment about Helena's doubt is valid for the first chapter as she's still unsure about so much it makes sense for her to really wonder whether Elenaor's feelings for her are genuine or not. I'm glad that you liked the conflict in this chapter as that and unrequited love go so nicely together it was a lot of fun to explore. The pressures of her mother are even more dominant in the next chapter and for the rest of the story because I think as Rowena has such high standards when it comes to intelligence, it's sort of carried through in social things too, as I always imagine perfection being linked to it, which is why she's like that.

Hahaha, don't be surprised as it always takes me a while to like characters too as I always think you should be suspicious of them as they usually are up to no good. I prefer it from Helena's mind too as she's so much more observant and reflective I think you understand their relationship much more easily because of it. Whereas with Eleanor, while she loves Helena too, part of it is for the excitement and the journey too so it would be a little too crazy being in her mind. You are right about Helena being more concerned by external things too, because I always imagine Ravenclaws looking at the greater picture first and she can see all the potential consequences from them being together so she holds back that little bit more.

Aw thank you so much, that means so much to me and if I could do the :wub: face I would but sadly it doesn't show up in reviews. Wow, thank you so much I'm not really sure how to respond to those lovely comments as I'm a bit in awe right now but they mean so much to me so wah thank you!! ♥

Haha, I actually finally got my act together and updated the story yesterday if you do want to read the next chapter as that would mean a lot to me and thank you for this fabulous review! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #2, by tangledconstellationsThe Ides of March: A star riding through clouds.

19th December 2014:
Hey there! ♥
It's Laura from TGS.

I absolutely loved reading this first chapter, so amidst the enthusiasm I'll try to address your areas of concern too :)

I was really intrigued with this fic. I always find Founders fics really interesting and somehow more magical and ethereal than any other time. I guess its the archaic tone and style - it just sends you to a totally different world. Anyway, along this vein, you did not disappointment. The little things are really important when writing a historical-fic - even just down to clothes details and style of talking. You totally nailed it. Even things like the conservative, measured way of thinking...it felt very 'old' (not as in age!) and appropriate to the time period. I think Helena is a really special character to use, too. She's somehow veiled - which adds to the mysterious and archaic tone. I guess it sets us apart from her a bit - which is why Founders fics and historical fics are great; we can't immediately relate, but it's the common, human threads that draw us in. Really, really lovely.

I loved the way you dipped into Helena's past, but not too heavily either. You gave us enough information to spark our imagination and to tentatively tug us along in the direction you wanted to take us with regards to her background. Having her father as a clergyman is a really unique aspect to dwell on. It links the historical setting right back up to the religious connotations of the time, and obviously as Helena is in love with someone of her own gender that would cause some conflicts. This is a bit of a work-in-progress point, but... I was just about to write that I thought maybe Helena would have reacted differently about her sexuality - perhaps have been more confused and uncertain, maybe in denial to an extent? I don't know how right I am to suggest this though, because on the other hand I guess feelings like that come about due to a religious or social context of the time putting pressure on someone. And, if religion isn't overly prevalent in her life as a witch then maybe it's not something she would have been too concerned with. But, I don't know. I'm rambling a bit, but it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this in the response section! Just something to think about after all :)

I really didn't think Helena was too whiny in this first chapter, so you don't have to worry! I feel like you've started the chapter at a good point. She's already noticed Eleanor, so she's established this affection that we're gradually understanding. It cuts out a lot of time for the reader to potentially become uninterested - but not in a horrible way! I just mean that strategically starting here means you have nothing to lose - Helena's affection doesn't have to be justified or warmed to. It's a love that just exists. It makes it feel as though her feelings have always existed, transcending the spatial limits your story's set up. In some areas Helena is very persistent with portraying how lovesick she is and I can understand how you would be concerned that she is 'whiny', but again I feel like this adds to her desperation.

To me though, one thing that does feel a little off is Eleanor's immediate positive response tied in directly to her introduction. I felt like maybe there needed to be more of a build up, more of a hesitation, to justify Helena's intensity and severe doubt - maybe more evidence of Helena believing to have been ignored by Eleanor. I feel like as a reader we haven't yet spoken to Eleanor or had her interact with us or Helena. We're not sure what to expect, and so having a pause or a stunted scene before meeting by the forest and before the really lovely climax of the chapter (with the gorgeous and subtle "Enchanting," bit!! ♥) would make Eleanor's attitude more realistic. I really hope that made sense - I just read it back and I don't think it does, haha! I just mean that before she calls out to Helena, to tell her to meet her by the forest, maybe there should be something else, something before, just to stagger it. I feel like the forest scene is beautiful and not overdressed at all and should be left as is, but MAYBE something should be before they first mention it. Again, let me know what you think! It's just an idea, and I haven't yet read the second chapter, so maybe I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here :)

Ultimately, your writing style is really beautiful, and it's truly the biggest strength of this first chapter, and one of the things I want to emphasise most! I love reading fics where it's obvious the writer cares about it and enjoys writing. It makes you want to carry on, to give them the time to understand what they are saying and showing us. Indeed, we haven't really been introduced on tgs yet! But I think this is a great fic for me to start with when reading your stuff - I'll most definitely be on the look out for more of your stories on the archives :) good job on such an awesome first chapter. Now, on to the second! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura, thank you for this wonderfully detailed review, it was much appreciated as it was so lovely and useful! ♥

Aw, thank you so much as that's something I always personally love about Founders story as it just makes it so much more magical and special to read so it's great to see that you thought it was like that, as I suppose that was another big fear about writing in this era and it's sort of what put me off writing it for so long. Yeah, I get what you mean about Helena being a little veiled as we know who her mother is and she has such definitive traits but her father and the impact of the other Founders on her was always unknown so it was a lot of fun to delve into that and see what it could potentially be, so I'm so glad that you liked that.

I'm glad that you liked the dips into Helena's past, as I didn't want them to be the centre point of the story as that's much more about Eleanor and Helena, however, given what a unique person Helena is, it's sort of necessary to know what happened to her before to figure why she is like that. I totally get what you mean about how she reacts to her sexuality, because I think with Helena it's a little different as she doesn't think she is a lesbian per sey but rather she loves Eleanor, so it's a little different so I wanted to focus on her love for Eleanor rather than anything else. I will definitely take what you said into account though, and I think I will add more confusion in as it will add more to her character.

Phew, I'm so glad that Helena's character was fine as she's so different to anything I have ever written before and the fact she's a founders era character too makes it even more complicated, so yeah, I think you can understand why I had a few worries. :P Ooh okay, it's good to know that about her love for Eleanor wasn't too ott because it's rather fun writing all this unrequited love as you can be all poetic so I tend to get carried away and write too much of it. :P

I totally get what you mean in regards to Eleanor, as I just couldn't get her reaction right as I only wanted this to be a shortish story I didn't want to dwell on the chase too much and I always knew she loved Helena too, but I just wasn't so sure how to write so that scene has always left me a bit meh (if that makes sense, and btw what you said definitely did make sense!). But I really like your suggestion and it was really helpful as I definitely do think it will add with the flow and transition of the story a lot more so I'll add it in now and hopefully that will help it! :D

Aw, thank you so much, you are so lovely that you're making me blush right now! This story definitely is my baby as it's probably the one where the style has mattered more than anything else which is why I love it so much so hearing that has made me waay too happy. Yay for starting to get to know each other and I'll have to check out some of your stuff too now!

Thanks for the fab review too! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #3, by tangledconstellationsLetters: Prologue

8th December 2014:
Hey there!

I thought I'd drop by your authors page to leave you a review.

I really liked this story - you've set it up for a lot more action to come. You introduced the characters really fluidly and its already got me hooked. Do you have plans to add any more any time soon? My only wish is that this chapter was a bit longer. As soon as you've really got into the motions it ends! But it'll be interesting to see where you take this further on.

A great first chapter!

Laura xxx

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Review #4, by tangledconstellationsWhat next?: Chapter Three

4th December 2014:
THIS CHAPTER!

I loved this so much. Things are getting so tense, and things are starting to unravel...eek!! You've crafted these past few chapters so well - your writing absolutely astounds me. It's so great to read. And Malfoy - I love that he's not the cliche guy you expect with a Scorpius/Rose fic. He feels developed already, and the way he acts really works.

Ahh all I want to do is just squee at this chapter. I really really enjoyed it - it was the perfect balance of intrigue and humor and a smidge of (sexual?) tension, just at the end. I want them to work out their differences and be together forever, SO BAD. I hate myself for saying that but I so do!

Really love this. Each chapter just keeps getting better and better - I can't wait to read more :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura! How many times can I say 'thank you' and 'I'm glad' before it gets weird? :D But the thing is, I really am so thankful for your reviews and I really am extremely glad you seem to be enjoying this story so much!

I spend ridiculous amounts of time re-reading every sentence over and over until I am satisfied with it so I am thrilled you like my writing style!

Aaah, Malfoy! So glad to hear he's not a cliche guy - I definitely didn't want my characters to be cliched in any way.

''He feels developed already, and the way he acts really works. '' THIS! This is so awesome to hear because he didn't actually appear all that much yet and I was afraid he might be under-characterized. Thank you for writing this, seriously. :D

Intrigue and humour - yes! Sexual tension - not...yet? Hahah, I wasn't really going for sexual tension here. It appears that way, yes, but that's just because I needed it that way so that the plot can move forward the way I imagined it. And this doesn't make sense now but I hope it will once I post chapter four. :)

I have no idea how you came across this story (I'm not advertising it that much) but I am so happy that you did! You've been so encouraging and I actually did some writing today because of you! So, thank you and I hope you'll enjoy the rest! :)



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Review #5, by tangledconstellationsWhat next?: Chapter Two

4th December 2014:
Hey againn!

Ahhh RUTH! She is such a secretive one. I love her, she's such a good character. Also, I feel as though Rose was entirely justified in calling Malfoy a prat...although maybe she should have checked to see if the coast was clear first.

This was such a great chapter, I'm really enjoying this fic! AH again, your writing style is so good, its so lovely to read. You're a natural storyteller, and it's super lovely to read a fic that flows with characters that are so engaging.

See you on the next chapter!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Laura, hello!

Gah, I'm so glad you like this story! Hurrah for Ruth, I'm having so much fun writing her. :) And it's so great that you can understand Rose here. I wanted both of them do be sort of reckless here - not bad people or really mean to each other but just a bit silly with the things they say and do. :)

I am a natural storyteller! Aah, you are spoiling me with compliments, dear! Thank you so much for this review and again, I'm so happy you gave this story a shot!

Andy


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Review #6, by tangledconstellationsWhat next?: Chapter One

4th December 2014:
Hey lovely!

I was really intrigued by this story so I thought I'd stop by for a little read. I'm normally super picky about next-gen stories, but this was really, really lovely and I really enjoyed reading this chapter. You've definitely got me wanting to read more!

I think you've set up Rose as a character so well. She's so likable and easy to relate to! I love how you've established the relationships between her and the main characters already. There's such a great dynamic between Rose and Ruth, and Al as well. It's really refreshing.

I really like Rose, and I'm totally rooting for her in chapters to come. The way you write is so great too - perfect for the genre.

Can't wait to read more! :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hello Laura!

Wow, thank you so much for this surprise review! I'm so glad you gave this story a shot and liked this chapter. I hope you'll enjoy the rest as well! :)

My main goal with this chapter was to establish the relationships between characters so to hear that you thought I've done a good job with it is so gratifying! I honestly love writing this story so this sort of feedback really makes the whole process all the more exciting. And I'm so happy to hear that you're rooting for Rose already, I think that's the best thing a reader can tell you.

Thank you again for leaving this review and for all the lovely compliments, you just made me really happy! I tried toning down my excitement but I'm actually all *squee* and I'm grinning like crazy and just thank you so much! :)

Andy

P.S. I was logged out of my account while writing this response and when I logged back on I saw the other two reviews and gaaah, thank you so much!! I'm so excited that you are reading this and are enjoying it! I honestly have no time to respond to them now but I just wanted to let you know that I you just made my day! *hugs*


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Review #7, by tangledconstellationsWhen Summer Fades: solstice

4th December 2014:
Gah! My heart hurts!

Compared to the last chapter, I feel like the angst that welcomes you to this chapter is well-needed. Poor, poor Regulus :( I think its really important that you've shown him to be both accepting and also really really angry that Summer has died. Grief is such a complex thing, but just as the last chapter was a catalyst, this chapter is definitely the reaction that I wanted to see!

When I initially started reading this, the story that you set up in the first chapter feels so, so different to the one concluding right now before me - in the best possible way! It's like you've shown this important contrast between normal school life, making new friends, etc etc with a topic so much bigger than just Hogwarts and just the wizarding community. First of all, I had no inkling at all in the first chapter that Summer was unwell, but the way it panned out was so effective. This is super angsty but I love it so much. I love it because it is just such a good example of why you should keep your mind open when reading fics. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen. Come to think of it, I don't really know what I expected to happen, but I love the way this HAS happened. Gah! I am totally rambling. But this is such an awesome three-act story and just.you've done such a good job with this fic!

Ultimately I think it's great the way you tied this story in with canon events. You gave Regulus a true motive - something I'd kind of been searching for when reading the books. I can totally understand why he did the things he did, and the reason why is such a pure one, too. Everything really came to a head in this final chapter and Regulus felt different to how he did in the first couple. He's taking more responsibility and he's changed because of Summer and because of the impact her death had on him. It's really, really effective.

Finishing the chapter the way you did really works because it puts emphasis on why we all know Regulus, but it twists his actions so that we can understand them more. I feel like I've been searching for a Regulus fic all my life that really grips me and leaves me feeling like he's more real than he is in the books (does that make sense?), and I think I've found the one!

I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this story, and I know I'll probably be back in a month or so to reread :) EEP! Loved it.

Laura x

Author's Response: This review literally made my week. I can't get over it. I want to print it out and hang it on my wall. a;skdjc;jawi THANK YOU ♥♥

Yeah, this is where the angst piles on and only goes from bad to worse. :( Especially since he feels all this anger and guilt and listlessness but he STILL can't show it.

I'm glad this chapter feels so different to the ones preceding it - I was definitely writing a different style in this one because this is when he really makes his change personally. I'm so thrilled to hear that the contrast and the big topics stood out to you, and that it wasn't predictable! Gah, thank you so much!

There was so much to explore that was left out of Regulus' small part in canon, so this story was sort of my way of fleshing out his background. I'm so glad you thought this provided the motive that wasn't evident when reading the books! It really is so wonderful to hear that it was all effective. :)

Aah, those last two paragraphs I just don't know how to properly respond other than saying THANK YOU!! I'm so honoured! So glad you enjoyed this story - I loved your thoughtful reviews!



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Review #8, by tangledconstellationsWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

4th December 2014:
Hey again, love! Back with your second review :)

I thought this chapter was really special, because here Regulus is starting to understand that things exist that are a lot bigger than him in his self-centered world! It feels very coming-of-age-y, because he's growing up, in a way. He's starting to realise that he cares about Summer, not because she makes him feel better about himself, but because she is a good person. I love that this chapter is the middle one, the crux of the story, holding it all together. I guess essentially Summer telling Regulus that she is so very unwell is the catalyst for him, to consider who he is and what he should stand for.

At the same time, it was good that you didn't rush into Regulus suddenly being this totally awesome nice guy. He's still reluctant to really openly reveal that he's friends with Summer. In a way, this really makes me sad because she's been such a support for him! But at the same time, it's understandable - and one of the merits of this piece. You haven't broken out of Regulus' character at all, and that's really important, I think. Him talking to Jasper was a really good moment in this chapter. It's so easy to write every Slytherin or every Death Eater off as a terrible, awful person with no human emotion, ever. But of course, that's dumb! :P I think Jasper's character is really interesting. Even though he is still prejudiced he's patient and a good friend, too. I'm finding myself wanting to read a one shot from Jasper's point of view based on this situation... :P hehehe

The last four paragraphs for me were really wonderful. You showed the passing of time really well, something I find really difficult to do without it sounding a bit weird. Reading how you did it was definitely inspiring because it felt really effortless, kind of suggesting that to Regulus that time didn't really matter. The way you finished this chapter, too, was really nice. It was gentle and sad and made me really feel for everyone in such an awful situation, but you didn't over do it at all.

This chapter was really lovely, and ties in so beautifully with the first.

Laura x

Author's Response: Hi again, Laura! ♥

That is exactly what I had in mind for this chapter - it's where he finally begins to open his eyes and see more than just himself. The point when Summer tells Regulus her secret really makes Regulus think about what is important to him. Very much a catalyst.

I'm glad you appreciated Regulus' continued reluctance to openly align with anything though - even if he was figuring out where he stood, it's harder to wear that face publicly, so outwardly he's the same as he was. I'm thrilled to hear that he was in character throughout! Ah yes and Jasper... thank you! Haha, yeah I like to think the Slytherins are more complicated than that, and it would be unrealistic for them to just be 100% evil and devoid of feeling. I love moral grey areas and Jasper is definitely a prime example of that.

Thank you, I'm really happy that you liked those last paragraphs with the changing of the seasons. I love what you said about it, that's really beautiful and I'm flattered!

Thanks so much for yet another amazing review!!


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Review #9, by tangledconstellationsWorship You: Storm

4th December 2014:
Oh my gosh.

I read this after stalking the classic challenges section of the forums and saw that you'd actually written a piece without the letter E! Which, naturally, blew my mind, and I NEEDED to see it. This is incredible!!! It's so beautiful and graceful but at the same time very fierce. And I spotted not one E.

I have literally melted and don't think the rest of this review is going to be that coherent. I think the most wonderful thing about this is that every line is so careful, and upon reading it you can really feel that you've made sure that every word is the right one. Your sentences feel remarkably balanced and I really love your style of writing. The subject, too, is really nice and very unique. There was a feeling of circularity, too, upon reading the ending, with the way you linked it back to the title and the opening section. Gah. Really really beautiful.

This is hardly constructive at all and I'm sorry for filling this review with general squee - but you should be super proud of this. It's so so lovely! Thanks for writing this :)

Laura xxx

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Review #10, by tangledconstellationsBroken Wings: Broken Wings

4th December 2014:
Hey there! I'm Laura!

I'd seen you about on the forums and thought I'd swing by to leave you a review :)

I was really intrigued by the synopsis for this fic, as Lucius is one of those characters that it seems impossible to imagine as a child! I think you did a really super awesome job though, because even though he is so young here he still has that level of rationality and measure that sets him apart from other wizards even as an adult.

I really like that this ends kind of dark too. I can imagine Lucius as an adult quashing all of his negative memories from his childhood, perhaps seeing them as things that make him stand above everyone else. This also made me think of Draco too, because even though Lucius is occasionally hard on Draco he does have a lot of love for him - which makes me wonder whether it might be because his father never had much love for him, and so this fic ties in perfectly with that idea.

Straight away I was drawn in by your writing style. The first few paragraphs are absolutely flawless. You've shown a swell use of diction and it immediately captivated me and made me want to carry on reading. There are only a few grammatical mishaps, such as where you use speech marks you sometimes don't use punctuation after, such as here: "Most don't" I reply. Instead, pop a comma after 'don't' and other such examples. It'll read much nicer and keep the piece flowing. Also, in a couple of places some sentences felt as though they could just be connected by a comma, too, again to keep up that wonderful flow you had going at the beginning and it numerous parts of this piece. Moral of the story: go crazy with commas!! :D Have a reread (maybe read it aloud - I find this helps a lot) and I'm sure you'll spot places that needn't be broken up quite so much with full stops.

But overall I really thought this was great. It was so thought provoking and its really refreshing to see Lucius as a multi-faceted character. After all, if we're to believe that he's real its fics like this that we need! I think this is such a unique take on contributing to why and how canon-Lucius turns out the way he does.

Loved it! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey Laura,

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it and I know what you mean about the flow. I always go crazy with the commas but then someone else pulled me up for using them to much and making too many run-on sentences, so since then I've been trying to minimize the number I use and settle for more direct sentences. I will definitely re-read the piece and edit those things in. I always forget the comma after someone is speaking before the quotation marks too so thanks for pointing those out.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the piece. Lucius was a lot of fun to write for this one, once he started cooperating with me. =) Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I'll pop over to your AP soon and return the favor soon I promise.

xx-Wolfgirl.


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Review #11, by tangledconstellationsWhen Summer Fades: equinox

2nd December 2014:
Hey there! :)

I'm so sorry for the delay in reviewing! I read this a week or so ago but didn't have time to review - but I'm so glad I've found time now!

I think the whole tone throughout is really really brilliant. I really really felt as though I was on the same level as Regulus throughout - something that's pretty hard to achieve because he's such a mysterious character throughout the series. I love your take on him, because there are so many unanswered questions about his motives that we can only speculate on and you've given a really honest and interesting take on his story. I think you've hit the nail on the head with your portrayal - he was both likable and aggravatingly stuck up at the same time! :P

This is an absolutely perfect opening chapter. It's so refreshing to read a fic where the two main characters aren't going to just fall head over heels in love. You've set up a strong basis on their actual friendship and on them ultimately being on the same wavelength, which again makes the reader question how much they know about Regulus, thus giving you lots of lovely scope! You've introduced us to his world, to his closest friends and also to a conflict that is going to play out in the next couple of chapters. In technical terms, everything is done spot on! The gradual warming to Summer, too, is done at such a pace that you've gently swept the reader along with Regulus and his changing attitudes. He doesn't once feel out of character - except that he is quite spontaneous in wanting to see the view with her again - but it totally works because she has this positive hold on him, which again links to their friendship and how great they work together.

I love your writing style so much! (sorry for abusing the exclamation mark - I'm just really trying to get my point across :P ) I'm so envious how you manage to weave the quite serious issue of finding your identity with that of humour - it kinda kept in my mind that they are teenagers and mainly that Summer is so bright and positive - she keeps the tone balanced. The whole chapter feels so balanced and perfectly timed. It kind of surprised me when I reached the end. You have this great mix of positive moments then a conflict, and then ordinary life...you show it in such a natural way.

As for Regulus himself...I love that you end the chapter with him lying to his Slytherin friends. It's almost as though he's made his choice in who he wants to be - he just hasn't worked it out yet. And a cliff hanger too! Having Summer looking a bit concerned makes me concerned, so good job on successfully hooking me to the next chapter! :P

A really awesome first chapter!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: No worries at all! Your reviews were so amazing which absolutely made up for it ;) The reason it's taken me so long to respond to these is just because they're so kind and thoughtful and I don't know how to convey my gratitude in a coherent way (if I'd responded when I first read this it would've been something like "asdkjfjkjaaa??!!!?")

I am so glad you thought Regulus was relatable, and that you liked him and were irritated by him at the same time. He really is such an interesting character with so much potential - there were a lot of holes in his story in the books which left it open for a lot of interpretation here. I'm so thrilled you like my portrayal of him!

Aah, yes - it's great to hear that you liked the friendship aspect. I really couldn't have seen this being a love story, and there are too few stories out there that are just about friends! I'm so glad it feels like a good pace and that Regulus' world is built up appropriately.

Wow, thank you! (hehe, I'm a big fan of exclamation marks too :P) It's really wonderful to hear that you liked the balance of the serious issues and the silly things, and that they seem like normal teenagers because of it.

Ooh, that's a great way of phrasing it about Regulus - like his heart knows where he stands, but his mind doesn't.

Thank you so much for this incredible review!! ♥


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Review #12, by tangledconstellationsFor the Living: Stages

9th November 2012:
My lovely Rin,

It has been far, far too long since I read any of your work, and I've been meaning to read this since you posted it! Real life is such a cow sometimes, but I am super glad that I've managed to get this down, and give you a well-deserved review full of squee.

I really, really enjoyed this. Even though it was very heavily about grief and about this great loss and regret Marlene feels you do still manage to create something beautiful from it. Throughout this, I could almost hear white noise, hear Marlene literally fading herself away from anything real that reminds her what she's lost. Yet, the way you've described things shows the way she's experienced this loss. It's not a great gaping hole, and she's not howling and wailing. This line is so, so spot on: 'Her grief drips and trickles out of her, and she cannot begin to patch the leaks.' She is wounded and she's not letting herself heal - that's how I see it. The encounter with the salesman, too, just shows how lost and absent minded she's become. I really, really feel for her :(

One thing you did ask me to comment on was the choppiness of this piece. You really needn't have worried though, because I don't feel it is an issue at all. I loved the pace of this, the distance there is between this piece and the reader, (which somehow manages to tighten the bond nonetheless) and your use of italics and brackets...it all really worked for me. You've also notably switched your writing style throughout, which I guess does make the piece choppy like you intended, but it more predominantly shows how up-and-down Marlene feels, during this awful up-and-down time. I think it's lovely that you have managed to stick to 500 words, so the pace is absolutely fine. I do wonder what it would be like if it was extended to, say, 1,000, or 1,500 words, and whether it would become too choppy then. But here, this is perfect, completely and utterly.

What breaks my heart (and makes me fall in love with all the more) about this piece is the obvious anger Marlene has for Edgar's death. Instead of her moping, she's a character with real pain and an obvious fire in her, even if this has made her feel all but just flickered out :( When she is angry with him it doesn't seem unjustified at all - I really think you've done an astounding job at expressing how she's feeling and why, but at the same time letting us decide at the end of it that it is grief twisting her thoughts, and it's something we can't really begin to understand. Really, really beautiful.

You should be ever so proud of this piece, because you've managed to make it so breathtaking and heartbreaking in only 500 words. I guess that shows what a really inspirational and amazing writer you are :)

Laura xxx

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Review #13, by tangledconstellationsWhen The Storm Breaks: What Might Have Been Lost

18th October 2012:
Hey again!

It was great to return to Narcissa in this chapter. I love that you've turned the general view of Narcissa and Lucius being inherently nasty right on its head, because to me they seem quite lovely. It's amazing to see them as actual people, and not just the parents of Harry Potter's enemy! Their meetings and their very very initial feelings towards one other work really well - especially considering the Siobhan character from the previous chapter. I know I said before, but I love how this isn't a 'love at first sight' story, yet you've still managed to include the slightest bits of attraction here and there too.

Something I do really enjoy about this fic too is that you don't just slip over the rest of the family members. I can tell you're making an effort to include Bella and Andromeda, which is really great. For some readers, it might be the family dynamics that they really want to hear more about, so I think it's good that you've kept these well rounded and interesting. As with Lucius and Narcissa, they're not all typically bad either, yet their are inklings about their future. I loved the earlier line where the servants couldn't quite put their finger on what was strange about Bella...lots of foreshadowing to the canon Bella we know!

I really enjoyed this chapter - there's a swiftness about your writing that really carries the reader through your chapters. Saying that though you never seem to lack on any of the details, and the images you paint are always really beautiful. I loved Livia arriving - the awkwardness and the tension - it was perfect! :D

Hope you're doing okay with the next chapter, and an update won't be too far away! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hey :)

I loved writing this chapter. LOVED it! There's something about writing Narcissa that makes me smile. I don't believe that they are nasty people when amongst themselves. There's a certain loyalty I found within these pureblood families while reading the series. I like emphasising that they are people under those masks who have their own problems, and who aren't pure evil. I must stop, otherwise I'll turn this into 'in the defence of the Slytherins' post. Oh no, definitely not love at first sight. I think for now they've developed an understanding. Lucius sees small comparisons between himself and Narcissa, and I think that's what draws him to her. Cissa, at the moment, is trying to be polite.

While they are based off of Austen's characters, I still want to introduce them as we know them from canon. So, Andromeda is passionate, Bella is spirited, and Narcissa…she tries to be the glue that holds things together. I honestly cannot write this story without any of them. It would not be fair.

Ah yes, Livia. I thought that scene was funny. Seriously. She tends to have that affect on people :P But it was the beginning of the end, and most likely a taste of what is to come for her new household.

I'm trying to finetune some things at the moment. But I hope to get out the new chapter in a few weeks time.

Thanks for being so lovely with your reviews, Laura.


Lia


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Review #14, by tangledconstellationsWhen The Storm Breaks: It's Just Another Brick in the Wall

17th October 2012:
Hello! I'm so sorry it's taken me forever and a day to get round to reviewing this. My summer was the weirdest ever, but now I'm at uni I've got way too much free time :P

I was so absolutely absorbed by this whole chapter. I was just reading and reading and reading, and reaching the end actually surprised me haha! I really, really enjoyed this. You've brought in a lot of new elements and challenges that Lucius has to face, and as a character he is growing into someone that I really like. He does have so much responsibility, and holding the family up when he doesn't quite feel as though he should be must be so difficult. A lot of the tension is really expressed through your writing, too, which, by the way, is as mesmerising as ever. The overall sense of this third chapter was one of weariness and pressure but at the same time I got the impression that there's got to be a moment where Lucius breaks out of this. The anticipation is heightened!

I can't remember which parts I've touched on in previous reviews, but I'm going to say this just in case I haven't already: your writing is gorgeous! There's a simplicity to it that isn't overbearing, and you set the scenes in a really lovely way. I like the switching of scenes too, because it gives things a quirky disjointed sense that compliments Lucius' feelings. The way you described Siobhan and Lucius too was really effective - there were elements of sexual tension and a little bit of longing but you snipped that back with Siobhans somewhat dominating character and her need to know exactly how he is - like a true friend would ask. At the same time there was a gentleness about their moment together as well. The two of them are really interesting, and I'm beginning to wonder how this slots in with Narcissa, too.

Ooh, something else I really enjoyed was the way you flipped back to Siobhan and Lucius meeting. It was really lovely to take a break from the present for a moment. Rather than telling us how they met you showed us how they met, which is always one thousand times more effective and encapsulating than paraphrasing! The way they talk to one another is perfect - short, snippy, but carefully. I basically think this review is a Siobhan appreciation rant, haha! But no, she's an awesome character to bring in at this point.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take this! I'm still quite not over the fact that Lucius is the good guy in this - it's such a fantastic perspective to take. Loved this chapter :)

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura,

I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to this. I've had a hard time thinking of what to say.

I'm trying to put a lot of things in perspective for him. It's been a while since his father passed and he is still trying to learn new things about what his title entails. At the same time, his natural development is stifled. I agree with you. He still feels as if he's way too young for this. There are too many things happening all at once for him. His mother's pressuring about finding a wife, his relationship with Siobhan, his family, his father's influence, and what he ultimately wants. I loved writing the scene with his mother the most. She's a bit inconsistent with what she wants. She preaches, but apparently does not practice, and all of it has made her grow resentful. Maybe all of them might get a moment where they can break away.

I'm glad you think so, thank you. Siobhan and Lucius. Hmm. Before I refused to see him with anyone but Narcissa, but these things are never set in stone (in the fandom). She can be a bit bossy, but there's this quietness about her that I like, sometimes Lucius doesn't have to say anything at all because she would just /know/. I loved the kiss on the inside of the wrist. It's so…old fashioned and hot at the same time. All I have to do is make Lucius wear a cravat then have him loosen it. The more I think about how this story will progress, the more I appreciate the fact that she is a true Ravenclaw. Narcissa will shine…at least I hope she does.

Hahaha. I like the sound of that - a Siobhan appreciation rant/review/post! (she would too). She happened to catch him at an interesting time in his life, I think. It was the point where he needed someone other than his family.

Well, every bad guy has to have a beginning. This is my version of his :)

Thanks for reading!

Lia


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Review #15, by tangledconstellationsWildflowers: Egyptian Heat

12th October 2012:
Hey again!

Compared to the last chapter, the tone of this was so hot and claustrophobic and damp and eugh, I could feel the heat and the tension and everything! But saying that, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I love that I was able to get that sense, even if it wasn't the most comfortable. I hate arguing when its too hot, because everything bothers you! The last line too made me giggle, because it was like an irritable after-thought :P

Asides from the heat and the sweat (which I do think you portrayed really well) I thought you captured the Egyptian kinda culture well too. Like, with the marketplace and the amazing architecture. I loved that Elsa was completely in awe of it all and just wanted to go exploring! The creepy woman though - eep! A little bit ominous. It's gonna be interesting to see how right she was. I hope she wasn't at all though, and I hope this break is flawless for them. But saying that, Gareth's short temper is something that could only cause future problems for them all...

Ahh, I said I wanted to see Sirius in this chapter, but not as a divide between them! But when Elsa said she missed him, I was a little bit secretly glad...is that bad?! Ahh, Elsa doesn't know what she wants and I don't know what I want for her either! I think they were both being overdramatic and overtired and generally overreacting earlier, and there isn't just the one of them to blame. Elsa shouldn't have mentioned Sirius so bluntly, and Damon shouldn't have got in such a strop. But yet, at least they can both see their true colours!

I really enjoyed this chapter!

Laura xxx

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Review #16, by tangledconstellationsWildflowers: Complications of the Heart

12th October 2012:
Hey Len!

I am so, so sorry about the ridiculous wait for these reviews. I think you requested in...July? I have been so unorganised! :( But finally finally finally I have found some time, and it is really nice to be able to read a familiar fic again to get me back into the swing of HPFF.

I found slipping back into this fic wasn't as difficult as I worried it might be, having not read it for so long. In fact, it was really quite nice to blindly read the first few paragraphs before going, 'oooh, yeah, I remember!' and having the previous chapters come flooding back.

Elsa is such a lovely character, I'm pretty sure I've said before. There's a charming modesty about her that so many writers try to give their characters but that they don't quite achieve. I'm glad she's not boisterous or over the top or awkward or anything. She is just who she is, just like the readers. I really like, too, that even when she is at her worst she is trying to keep her head and remain rational, but even so needs her friends to keep her tied to the ground. Being so emotionally confused is the worst, and I think you've made her reactions and general thought processes so believable. I mean, sometimes characters just fly off the handle, and you just can't imagine them doing that in real life. But with Elsa, her feelings kind of resonate in such a normal teenage girl kind of way.

I am always fascinated by the different ways people write Lily Evans too, and the way she is here is just super. I like that she's a little bit moody and knows how to stand her ground, and at the same time isn't afraid to let Elsa know how she feels. I loved this bit: 'They walked in silence to the library, neither wanting to mention that maybe the other was right.' - it captured that whole moment brilliantly! :D and how, at the same time, Lily wouldn't dare consider giving James the time of day right now, but it's funny because we all know she will end up making like Elsa/Damon with him! Girls are so stubborn :P

As for the relationship crisis...I really am warming to Damon. But then saying that there is like this innate part of me that adores Sirius no matter what, and wants him to be shipped with everyone haha! Damon was pretty romantic though, and he obviously does like Elsa. There is nothing evil or nasty about him in the way he acts towards her, apart from the whole being-friends-with-her-creepy-brother thing. But we can brush over that. And like Cordelia said, many families did have ties with You-Know-Who, so maybe it shouldn't be a big deal. Maybe Elsa is just looking for issues to scare her off because she can't quite make up her mind alone. I am looking forward to seeing Sirius again though soon :P I have missed him! And I want to see is Damon holds true to this romantic-lovestruck picture he has been painting...!

Laura xxx

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Review #17, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: The Tale of Timothy Bones and Muggle Fans

12th October 2012:
Hey lovely!

Ohmygosh, it has taken me forever and a day to get round to this third review. (errmm, only 2 1/2 months) But alas, here I am!

I really enjoyed this chapter. You said in your areas of concern that you worried about dragging the journey/initial chapters out a bit too much. I really don't think you have though. There's something ever so whimsical and anecdotal about these chapters that ties in completely with the tone and mood of this fic and what you're trying to achieve. If this fic was dark and intense maybe it would be different, but for the time being I like how every moment of hers is a bit of an uphill struggle. It just means we get to know her all the more :)

MOTH. That is the cutest name ever. I love how their friendship hasn't immediately blossomed like Harry's and Ron's did - it kinda makes me think that the rest of this fic is going to be a bit more perfectly dysfunctional ;) the way there is a little bit of early conflict too is super, because all of these things just help us to get even more of a grasp on the characters, not to mention making this a million times more funny. Honestly, your humour writing is the shizz! I seriously wish I could be as funny as you. One day I'm gonna give writing a comedy piece a go, but I bet it won't be a notch on this.

Taking a break from this (because of my awful unorganised life) and coming back to reading this third chapter was actually really interesting. In my head I could still remember the things that had gone on before, and literally slipped back into this chapter with no problems at all. That, to me, is a mark of a great piece of writing, and I am looking forward to the chapters to come! The whole Gran thing the second time round was as funny as the first - I don't think you're overdoing it yet at all. I love the way she blames her Gran for her own stupid mistakes - a little shortsightedness in a character just makes things all the more interesting ;)

Lots of love for this chapter, and I'm so sorry about the atrocious wait.

Laura x

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Review #18, by tangledconstellationsA Session With Nova Spacelove: Custard Yellow

3rd September 2012:
Hey!

I just thought I'd drop by and leave you a little nonsense review :)

This was honestly hilarious! I don't think I've ever laughed so much at a fic on here. Geraldine Bychance - I nearly died, hahaha! And aside from how awesomely hilarious this was, it was still super well written. Nova is such a quirky character - I kinda wish you'd extend this to more than a one-shot. :) and I think you wrote Molly perfectly! Ahh I am kind of rambling, but yeah, this was just brilliant :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Geraldine Bychance, hehehe. :3 Nova was delightfully ridiculous to write, especially with Molly egging her on. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you. :)

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Review #19, by tangledconstellationsIvory: Ivory

2nd September 2012:
This was so beautiful!

I wish I could sit and write about all the millions of tiny things you have done to make this perfect, but I know I'll be here all day. Just, the fluidity of this, and the way their movement felt like dancing. It was all just so lovely. It's such an achievement, and you should be ever so proud of this. I know in the future I'll be coming back to read this a thousand more times :) ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much Laura! I spent a long time on this, making sure every detail was planned out and metaphored and cross-referenced and everything, so I'm so glad you saw those tiny things I did haha. I think almost every sentence has a double meaning, which can be read different levels if you could be bothered to look for them haha!

Thank you so much :) I'm very proud of it :D


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Review #20, by tangledconstellationsGlory: Glory

1st September 2012:
Rachel!

I haven't read anything much for such a long time, apart from the odd chapters of things here and there, and I've been making mental notes to pop over to your author's page! I hope you're okay, and I hope this little review makes you smile. ♥

I really liked this one. It was ever so touching. I loved the alternation of the viewpoints, and the way that somehow even though the underlying theme is quite sinister and unsettling you manage to create something beautiful out of her death. The way there were so many voices in this really shows how much of an impact one person losing their life can have.

Your descriptions were astounding and in many ways very inspiring too. It's a wonder how you can make so many things sound so beautiful! You used such an array of adverbs that everything sounded so animated in the loveliest way. Usually this is something I'm awful at, so again with the mental notes! I loved the way, too, you used to many powerful one-liners, or the use of just one word. It made this at times so hard hitting, just when it needed to be.

This was gorgeous and achingly sad all the at the same time. And, it is an achievement; one you should be proud of.

Lots of love,
Laura xxx

Author's Response: Smile indeed, lovely. I'm so sorry it's taken an age to reply. I'm so rubbish with this site these days :(

I'm so happy that sinister aspect shines through. I wanted it to feel a little uneven, like something was missing that the reader couldn't put their finger on, only for it all to come together upon second reading.

Single lines and one word sentences are my staple, I think! They come quite naturally for something like this and I'm glad they have an impact.

Thank you so much, Laura. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply!

xx


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Review #21, by tangledconstellationsUntainted: Victorious

1st September 2012:
Hey lovely!

Thought I'd leave you a little review! :D

I really enjoyed reading this - short and sweet! I loved the way you set up each section in the same way, and you carried us through their relationship so gently. It was so lovely, too, to have Teddy's worries interwoven between each section, as well. It reinforced the fact that the two of them know each other inside out. I felt like their relationship was so rock-solid throughout this.

I also really liked the way Victoire was much more humble and gentle in this. Almost, a bit less sure of herself. Normally, people characterise her to be this loud boisterous character, but I really like your Victoire. She's so genuine :)

I really enjoyed this! I'm so sorry this review is so short, but I thought I would scatter some happiness as I floated through! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura, and thank you! I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to post a response for you!

This piece was my first foray into next-gen, and it was kind of interesting to write because it's got this surface-level fluff that seems to hide some darker undertones. I'm glad you felt like it flowed nicely and that you got a good sense of Teddy and Victoire's relationship.

Something I like to do a lot in my fics is try to turn stereotypical characterizations on their heads. With canon characters, that usually means looking at a canon trait in a different light. With next-gen, though, we don't know much about any of the characters, so I wanted to challenge the portrayal you mentioned and try a softer Victoire here :) I'm glad you felt like it worked well stylistically.

Thanks so much for your sweet review!

-Amanda


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Review #22, by tangledconstellationsMagnolia Street: Coral and Black

1st September 2012:
This was everything perfect in the world, plus so much more ♥

THEY KISSED. AHH. SO happy right now! And, and, 'warmth'. ♥ this is the cutest moment in all of the history of fanfiction forever until eternity! My heart kind of stopped when Scorpius hadn't moved an inch. And I breathed again when he said do it again! I loved that this was so fast paced - I can't actually believe he made the first step and dived right in there. I guess because Lysander is quite cut off, as we've mentioned before, with his methodical way of thinking, when he does do something I expect it to be justified and explained. But he totally just acted with his heart right here! I think that's what makes this moment so much more powerful, and what makes him such an exciting and likable character!

It was really great to take a step away from his apartment/the ministry/the city and have a setting that is fresh and breezy and just somewhere that acts as a catalyst. Saying that though, it is so typical of Lysander (and you, guiding his adorably-deceptive scientific brain processes!) not to have mentioned any feelings of love or attraction or anything before this kiss. All we see is that he seeks him out at the alter, and, and, and he recognises his voice and, OH, just, the little things that reinforce familiarity with these two. Must be the sea air! And, Lysander acts so surprisingly compulsively here too - I feel like every time I read a new chapter there are 100 more sides I see to him each time. I adored the image of him semi-dozing in the chair. It was so lovely. HE is so lovely. You manage to make everything so real with your descriptions, like, the way he'd blink a lot after being woken up, and the way he'd talk ever so politely, like, 'I can't see who you are exactly!' and just oh a million things, really. You really flesh him out in such a fantastic way. I don't think I'm being coherent again, though. This always seems to happen when I read this.

And, Rin, your descriptions in this chapter were SO mesmerising and beautiful and just WOW. I got this really rustic picture of the wedding. Rough around the edges but in a way that reminds you how delicate and beautiful the moment is. After all of this, it makes me wonder all the more about Lorcan, too. I think he must be kinda happy with the wedding - it seems he's made sure it all looks wonderful :) (oh, crap, I digressed again - ok, descriptions) And, yes, where was I?, everything, every tiny and brilliantly big thing you describe just comes across as amazing and intricate. Like, 'only the immense, ivory moon lit his path.' IMMENSE IVORY. I would have just called it the moon, but you make everything just so pretty and perfect and real! I know I've said it millions and trillions and I probably always will keep saying it billions and jillions, but I love your writing style so much ♥ It's so effective, so careful and so, so readable. Everything, from the first encapsulating line (the stationary boulder in a sea of tempestuous water) to the last fleeting word ('warmth' ♥ ♥ ♥) - it's all crafted so brilliantly. You should be constantly proud and amazed with yourself, and not only just with this chapter, but with everything you write. Your writing is so distinct and just so gentle and bold at the same time. So much Rin writing love right now!

Thank you ever so much for mentioning me in the authors note - that is so, so sweet of you! It makes me so happy to think I'm helping you with this, even if all I'm doing is getting stupidly overexcited by every chapter :D and thank you also for updating so quickly! I hope this review also gives you a little boost and makes you re-fall in love with this story, because it is kind of wonderful :}

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Laura x

Author's Response: OH MY GOSH LAURA where do I even begin? Let me just start by saying that I was looking forward to you reading this chapter because I hope (HOPE) it was sort of what you wanted and I was writing it with you in mind (like I said, your last review just did wonders for my enthusiasm). Gah. So much love. So much gushy love. Cannot even... function... properly.

Thank you for mentioning my little sleepy seaside town! I was just thinking that it would be a lot more fun to romp around in than the dreary old city (and we've seen far too much of that already, haven't we?). I had such a vivid picture when I was writing it; I'm really pleased that it seems to have come across to you!

I was actually really worried about not straight-out mentioning any attraction between them before they actually kissed, I cannot even tell you. But I tried to be vague: seeking out in the crowd, and all that. I hope it was OK. I'm certainly glad that you seem to think so!

Baha, you're being plenty coherent! I was beaming the entire time I was reading this - just beaming. You should know that.

I'm super, super happy that you liked the wedding scene. It's sort of hard to describe a wedding when I haven't been to one in so long, so I hope all the details were OK.

GAH THANK YOU SO MUCH. I just cannot even comprehend comments on my style, especially coming from you. They completely melt my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I like to think it's something I've been working at for the better part of five years. :P

Oh, you're definitely helping, dear! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited you make me about my own story. You've been a vehement supporter since day one and I absolutely cannot thank you enough.

asdf;lajdfa;dlsfa;dlfjk

Love reciprocated fully,
Rin
xx


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Review #23, by tangledconstellationsThe Brightest Star: the littlest king

1st September 2012:
Hey, lovely,

Indeed I did stick around til the end, and I'm super glad I did. This was beautiful, through and through. I love Regulus, and I've always been really timid about reading him on this site just in case the writer doesn't quite get him right. I don't like to see him tangled in love stories or portrayed as childish or anything. But, I honestly believe that you have made him the Regulus that sits and lives in my mind every time I read the series or think about them. Really, truly. Thank you ♥ this was wonderful. You made him numb and cold but somehow angry, too, and completely consumed by his thoughts, and just everything about him was amazing. He was so low throughout this, feeling insignificant, yet this whole piece shouts of sparks and wholesomeness and one hundred things I can't quite explain. It was just entirely completely mesmerising and so, so inspirational ♥ again, thank you. You should be so proud of this piece ♥

Laura x

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Review #24, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: Choking and Whistles

28th August 2012:
OH MY GOD HAHAHA: "But perhaps when I come of age, then everything will change. And I'll fly into the Burrow for Christmas dinner like, 'Oh, didn't I tell you? I can fly now. Roast Beef? Oh I'd lov- Oops got to go! Danger calls!' And then I'd fly out and they'd all be like woah. I wish my daughter was a squib." YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS LAUGHING AT THIS. I think you are my comedy soul-mate.

This was such a good chapter! I love that, in a literal sense not much has happened so far, but you've told the story so well and you've got me all caught up in her anxiousness! I can't imagine just picking my things up and going would be like just like that, especially when going to the school might feel like it's making the whole wizard/squib situation worse. I like that we saw the softer side to Molly. I felt that she was genuinely a bit panicked about leaving, which again makes me think that she must be a bit insecure. She is lovely though.

Hahaha Mr Whestle, what a lad! I was just like, eww gross when reading that! He's kinda cool though. In a freaky way. I genuinely did find this whole chapter hilarious, and I love that you kept the balance brilliant between not too much narrative and a little bit of dialogue. It all reads so well and so vividly, and the sarcy comments and one-liners just MAKE this.

Yet, even though this is so funny you still manage to give it such an honest and heartfelt reality check. Like, the last paragraph: Molly experiencing what her cousins have. The last moments of this chapter are written so beautifully. It is a far cry from the Hogwarts Express horn, because she's stuck somewhere in between normality and absurdity - normality very well being the muggle world. It was so nice to experience the sentimentality of this moment with Molly :)

Laura xxx

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Review #25, by tangledconstellationsOutcast: Ice Skating and Belly Dancing

28th August 2012:
Hey love!

First up, I apologise profusely for taking so blumming long in getting round to reviewing! I have been so so busy and I feel so pants about neglecting my review thread! Finally (what - about a month later!?) I have found some time :)

When you posted on my review thread, I was straight away really excited about reading this! The idea is so cool - a school for Squibs! I kinda love Molly to pieces already. She's kind of hilarious :D She's so fiery and random as well - I get the impression that this is kind of her defence mechanism for feeling a bit bad about missing out on so much stuff :/ but nevertheless, she's quirky and I like her a lot :) I do think she is believable too, so you needn't worry about that. She has an edge to her, which is great! I like that she's a little awkward because it shows she has flaws, and is thus more believable :)

I really like the whole thing with her Gran! I find it so funny! One thing I would suggest though is to maybe outline it a little bit more at the beginning of this chapter. I understood it, but I don't know if that's because you pointed it out on your review request. It's really unique though. It makes us know Molly all the more - passing the blame onto other people :P I don't think you're focusing on it too much. I think a little more would be overkill but right now I think you're at the right place with it. I mean, this situation would be super awkward and difficult for her, she her mind is wandering and like I said a sec ago, she's passing the blame. It'll be interesting to see how much more you focus on this in later chapters though :) if ever it does become too much, I will let you know! But as the initial 'getting-to-know-the-characters' chapter, I think this is alriiight! :D

I love the whole Weasley-clan thing, and the coming together of all the extended family. Molly is such a sore thumb, she's so cute. And JAMES. God. He should keep his mouth shut :P I love next-gen's where the family are all so close. It's just so lovely and I'm so glad you've stuck to that. But, at the same time you've really made it your own by including Molly's sarcastic side-comments, too. It colours it so much more :D

This was a great first chapter - on to the next one!

Laura :D xxx

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