Reading Reviews From Member: Remus
  
425 Reviews Found

Review #1, by RemusAmber Lies: Inner Eye

1st August 2014:
Hey!! So sorry that I'm NOW coming here to give you a review. Ugh, this is embarrassing. :( Work has been nothing but a pain and today, when I thought I was going to get off early, I ended up working a 10.5 hr shift. Not fun for me.

I absolutely LOVE that you didn't make Trelawny as a complete loser. She does have the Sight and knows what terrible thing it is to have such gift. I really like this:

Such superficial questions, void of substance - the Sight does not care about such trivial things.

I feel like that's a very truthfull statement. It just goes to show what kind of people we all are...what we really want but ignore the truth and what we should really hear.

I have to say though, the way this is divided kinda threw me off. The short 2-4 sentences long paragraph that all started in the next line. If this is the way you intended it, then just ignore this!

However, if you didn't...I would suggest adding more meat. AKA description. You have a great base here that's quite interesting. I've never read a Trelawny that actually has the Sight and is quite good at it. However with description, specially when she sees Malcolm's future, it goes by so quick that it didn't give us, the reader, enough to savor this!

That girl though. I could just imagine the laugh and that annoyed me and I felt angry towards her for making fun of Sybil! T___T I mean, what did she do against her?

I like the premise and I can't wait to see what Malcolm has to say about our dear Sybil in the next chapter! Good luck on the challenges!!

until next time
--Rosie

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Review #2, by RemusMake Do: Long Way Home

27th July 2014:
Heya! Perelandra from the forums with your swap! :D Apparently I'm in the mood to cry or be sad because this one just called my attention.

I usually read and review at the same time but this story just sucked me in and left me in tears. I just couldn't keep them in anymore.

There was little narrative in this and it just worked. Your description is amazingly flawless to the point of just totally broke my heart just reading it. It made me sad but happy at the same time.

Molly did live a fully life. Got to see her children grow, grandchildren born and now its time to go and be with her own soulmate and the son she hasn't seen in many years.

I had really no idea how it was going to end until everyone showed up and knew where this was going. And I just got a bit sadder...

And I cried big fat tears! Some of them went into my coffee! Hahaha! I could even imagine both Fred and Arthur in that room with everyone else, Arthur's hand on Fred's shoulder and extending his other hand for Molly's, to bring her over.

Nope. Now I'm making myself sadder!!! :(

Must stop now and get ready for work! Thank you for the swap and this lovely story! It's going into my favorites!

--rosie

Author's Response: Ahhh thank you so much for this incredible review!

Molly definitely is so strong, considering all of the tragedy she lived through. I don't know how she did it, but she's definitely a wonderful character and it was fun to write this.

Is it bad that I'm happy you cried? Haha just kidding, but it really means a lot that you thought this was a good story!

Thank you so much for reading/review and adding this to your favorites! It really means a lot!

Jackie


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Review #3, by RemusWake up, Rose.: It's Kind of a Funny Story.

20th July 2014:
Hello! I'm here, once again, with your review swap! When you post the next two chapters, let me know so I can come! You totally had me impressed with reading all four chapters of mine!! :D Thank you!

I'm glad to finally be here! Being without internet is definitely not fun! Shall we begin? XD

"Mrs. Weasley, I'm glad to see you're awake. For a moment there..."--You called Rose "Mrs." instead of "Miss"

Oh no!! Did her cousin give Rose a love potion? What? Was it meant for him or did he give it to her knowing what it was? Dun dun dun!!

I really like the dialogue exchange between Scorpius and Rose, however, it felt like it still needs some "meat" to it. For example, when Scorpius is telling Rose that he is crazy for her, there should be more "feel" in Rose about it. It's difficult to explain when its in first POV. Basically it comes down to telling the reader how she felt/thought when he was confessing that to her.

Oh no! They both did it to her! What?! You would think that they would know a little bit better but alas...hahaha. They're young and silly children. They didn't realize that they could've done something really bad to her! No consequences. Haha.

I really like her friends though!! However, wouldn't they, you know, support her a little bit? Or is it because they were charmed by Scorpius that they didn't see that he was "teasing" Rose too much?

I wouldn't call this chapter as "filler". It actually helps move the story along to where you want it to go. You have to give yourself some time to flesh everything out, including your characters and plot.

This was a great chapter!

Until next time
--Rosie

Author's Response: Hey Rosie!

I will definitely let you know when I get around to updating this!

I didn't ever catch that I called her Mrs. accidentally. I'll have to edit that out. I wasn't all too sure about Scorpius and Rose's conversation in this chapter. I meant for it to be read as Rose kind of ignoring him, as if she thought he was playing a joke or something. I definitely could have made that scene a lot clearer though.

They were very unaware of the consequences of mixing alcohol with the potion, as well as extremely inconsiderate about Rose's wishes to keep more to herself than them. They saw her behaviour as some kind of cry for help, I believe.

Her friends are someone blinded by their undying hope for Rose to have her 'happily-ever-after' story. Along with Scorpius' uncanny ability to avoid insulting her outright when others are paying attention.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #4, by RemusWake up, Rose.: Wake up.

14th July 2014:
Hello!! so sorry that I took a while to get here!! However, the important thing is that I'm here for your review!! Let's get this started!

I like Rose's relationship with his cousins. It definitely feels natural here. It made me laugh that Dom was trying to make Rose more...outgoing? However, does that mean that Rose doesn't have any friends? Or she has a few and wants to make more?

Aww, why is Scorpius so mean to Rose? What did he do to her? I'm kinda intrigued. Reading your warnings and pairing...I'm not sure if I'm going to like this!

Aww!! Flitwick now reads off the first year list and sorts them! Is McGonagall the Headmistress here?

I like how I'm confused about Scorpius. Should I trust what Rose says or what everyone says? He could be a charmer, like Tom Riddle, and just play everyone except for Rose. I also like how the Houses don't have this crazy rival-complex. They seem to get along...like inviting other houses for a party.

I find it interesting and refreshing that she doesn't get along with every single cousin she has! In every next gen story that I've read, everyone one gets along with everybody..well, except the adult cus they're "not cool" enough for them.

Haha! "family gift giving occasion.--I think that's how I'm going to call them now!

Whoa, hold up...wow...that happened fast. Why?! No! They shoulndn't have had that "drunken fun". This is definitely not good. What I liked about that part is the fact that she's not telling herself to stop; she's enjoying herself. That's alcohol for you! It makes things seem more fun, even your enemies! And then do stupid things with your so called enemies. Man...I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter! What will they say?! How would they react? I'm still intrigued about how your rating and warnings will come to play in your story.

See you in the next chapter!!
--Rosie

Author's Response: Hey Rosie!

I'm glad you like the relationship between Rose and her cousins, that'll make the rest of the story that much more satisfying for you. And it's definitely a case of Rose having a few friends but Dom wanting her to simply befriend everyone.

McGonagall is the Headmistress here, while Flitwick is the Deputy Head. Scorpius has a strange fixation with Rose that stems largely from an awkward first encounter.

I try to make Scorpius' true nature sort of ambiguous. I want to make it plausible to have differing opinions on him and still be somewhat correct. And haha family gift giving occasions are what I tend to call holidays in real life so I thought I'd slip a bit of my own humor into this.

The reactions about the party will be incredibly varied and as you can guess, the rest of the story kind of ripples from that. I hope I can make it at least a little unpredictable what will happen next and I hope you come back to read on! Thank you for this lovely review!!


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Review #5, by RemusHero: Hero

7th July 2014:
Hello!

I just know that this is going to make me cry...

I really like the details you have in this. The fact that the elderly's wands are taken away and their magic explodes just like a child. There are some elderly that revert to act like a child; something they can't help.

Aww, Ron is dead at this point!! Aww...

Meeehhh!! I've lost it by this point! T_T
"Ginny is there too," Dad says firmly. "I'd know her anywhere - she's my wife, you know. Isn't she lovely?" I feel really bad for Harry at this point, I mean...he's the "last" one left. He's been left behind! However, I think it's a lot more tough for Lily. To have watched her father slip away and to continue to slip away...

Lu sounds like such a great small character. She's a tough girl and is willing to help and look past her grandfather's state of mind and continue to see him.

This was such a great story! I really enjoyed it! And you definitely got me a bit teary eyed there a couple of times.

House Cup 2014 Review
Until next time,
--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi Rosie! :)

I'm glad that you liked this and the details! It was interesting to imagine the sort of elder care and safety precautions that wizards would have. The elderly can't help it but it still is de-humanizing in a way especially with taking away their wands.

It is quite tough, both for Harry even if he doesn't really realize it, and his family. Lu is better equipped to be cheerful around Harry in some ways since she didn't know him when he was a lot younger and she's been watching him slip away for a big part of her life, whereas Lily still has the memories of when he used to take care of her.

Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I'm sorry if it made you sad!! :)


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Review #6, by RemusHave a Biscuit, Lupin: Have a Biscuit, Lupin

7th July 2014:
Hello!!

I love Remus stories so I'm excited to read this! Haha.

I just had to giggle when Remus mention that he felt he was in 6th year and that he had to respond for James' and Sirius' doings. I'm pretty sure that's what really happened canon-wise. Haha. Poor Remus. Ugh, the tail end of the first part made me a bit sad, the fact that he is indeed poor and has gone through a lot and definitely a lot of loss in his life.

I think you captured McGonagall really well. Specially with the line that says:
You needn't sit so stiffly," she added. "I'm not about to give you detention."

Ugh, you're making me sad now!! I never realized that Remus never really knew what happened on the last few moments when James and Lily were killed. For Remus to find out through Harry...it must've been tough!

Lol...Harry as DADA teacher. He would've been a great teacher as we saw that in the 5th book.

AWWW! He called her Minerva in the end!!! AWW! This was a great story!! Definitely adding to my favorites!!

Anyway, I have no CC at all! You drove this story very well with mostly dialogue. Some stories try to do that and it gets very boring. You managed to invoke a lot of emotions by their dialogue, and that's amazing. Congratulations on your win, though!! You must've made your house proud!! XD

House Cup 2014 Review
Until next time
--Rosie

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Review #7, by RemusDragonology: The Dragon

6th July 2014:
Hello, Perelandra from the forums dropping by for a review!! :D I'll be writing the review as I read along the story.

I've never read a story with Charlie as the main character, he's always there with the other Wasleys, so I'm really excited this. So far I'm really enjoyed the narrative. I liked how easy it was for me to picture everything that was going on and your choice of words really helped the flow.

Wait...why is his mentor leaving? Haha! I would be freaking out if I was given a mentor who then vanished on me! He didn't even tell Charlie what his job was or what he was to do! What kind of mentor is this?

I recently watched How to Train Your Dragon 2 and reading this story makes me want to be in Charlie's shoes even more!! I'm not surprised that he helped a dragon in need. He always felt to me as this guy who has the "tough guy" appearance but is really a softie on the inside.

Anyway, this was a great one-shot! I have to say though, congrats on achieving this story for the House Cup. I tried it once, and it was very stressful. Haha.

House Cup 2014 Review

Until next time!!
--Rosie

Author's Response: I am glad you liked this. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It sure is very stressful!

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Review #8, by RemusThe Hogwarts Alumni Quidditch Team: Free Tickets

28th June 2014:
Hello!! Perelandra here from the forums!

I have to say, I absolutely LOVE the characterization of each character. I'm glad George seems to have moved on after Fred's death. He seems "normal" so to speak. The way he teases Ron about the Cannons just makes me giggle.

And poor Ron!! I'm starting to think that he's the only Cannons fan there is. Haha! And even Harry was debating on going and they're best friends. It makes me want to hug Ron and tell him that I would go with him.

However, George needs to get his hands off Ron's tickets!!

This was a good chapter! Makes me wander what exactly George has planned! And hope that Ron is able to go to his match!!

Author's Response: Hi, thanks so much for choosing this story and for leaving such a nice review. Your comments were really fun to read, and your reaction was just what I hoped for in a reader.

I'm glad you liked the characterizations, because that's such an important part of a story. So I love it when readers say they think I did well. Thanks for mentioning it.

I was glad to hear George's teasing made you giggle. This story is set a little over a year after Fred's death, and it's my second post-war story . I'd already dealt with Fred's death in my Wizard Portrait novel, which is why George's mood is already much lighter in this one. So you were right to say George seemed pretty normal. At least the loss isn't brand new any more, and this story won't need to focus on it the way my last one did.

Ron might not be the only Cannon fan in the world, but I imagine he's one of a very few who are that diehard. I really had fun portraying him like that, but I did it with a purpose in mind for what comes later in the story as well.

Thanks for reading and for leaving such a fun review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.


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Review #9, by RemusSummer at the Abbey: Thomas's Observations, a Talk With Lady Mary, and Fred's Flirting

27th June 2014:
Hola!! So sorry that I've taken forever to come and give you your review!! :( I seem to not have a life lately.

Anyway!!

I just kind of giggled at the idea of Fred/Thomas. I just find Thomas very evil compared to what Fred may be! Hahaha! I like your characterization of Thomas. He feels/reads just like the TV show; questioning people's motives, the wanting to know things that he really shouldn't. Great job on that regard!

I like the idea of Mary traveling with the Doctor after losing Matthew. Poor Mary :(

And the Doctor here just makes me laugh. Of COURSE he would be downstairs with the waiting staff, just chatting and Carson is basically like "Yeah...we'll just let him be..." Then again, I don't see Carson just wanting to kick the Doctor out...it would be rude of him. Hahaha.

Anyway! Thank you so much for doing the swap for me! :) I appreciate it and so sorry that I took forever.

Until next time
--Rosie

Author's Response: Wow... Pretty much a month until I finally got to this. The summer just makes me procrastinate. Sigh...

I'm glad I wrote Thomas well. I find it extremely gratifying when someone points that out. It's something I often worry about.

Carson would not throw the Doctor out. It would be inhospitable of him!


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Review #10, by RemusSummer at the Abbey: The Abbey

18th June 2014:
Hey! I'm back! Sorry I've been away...Been slightly sick for a while. But I'm here now!!

Wow, Fred is going after the Doctor? Hahaha,poor child doesn't stand a chance. And I agree...he's too old for our poor Fred! But I like his justification...

"Bowtie? Tweed jacket? Suspenders? Please. Trust the gaydar!"

He does have a point! hahaha!! LOL!

"It's what Fred calls his owl."

I LOVED THAT!!

I'm Malfoy and I'm rich as _

LOL! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I like how you kept it canon when it comes to the Malfoys because before the stature of secrecy was put in effect, they were very popular and influential even with the Muggles.

Why does the doctor keep getting slapped as a greeting!! HAHAHAHA!!

Anyway, is this after Matthew has died?

Good chapter!! Can't wait to see what happens next!!

Author's Response: Oh no! Glad you're feeling better.

I do love Fred. He really is the breakout character of this story, in my not so humble opinion.

Yeah, I picked up that little bit about the Malfoys from Pottermore. It's the first time I've incorporated something from the site!

As far as Matthew goes, keep reading and you'll find out!

Thanks!


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Review #11, by RemusSummer at the Abbey: The TARDIS

14th June 2014:
Chapter 2 review!! :D

I just laughed with this line:
The Doctor threw him a look. Who doesn't know your father's name?"

I can just imagine 11 scrunching up his face and giving the kids a strange look.

Your 11 sounds fantastic!!! T_T I can't believe how accurate he feels & reads. I mean! He even tells them that him meeting Harry is "Story for another time" that is just something he would say!!

"Mate, his name is Albus," said Scorpius. "Mine is Scorpius and my Dad's is Draco. We're used to weird names."
OMG!! HAHAHAHA!!! That has GOT to be the BEST line ever!!

This was a great chapter!!

And now, to bed! I shall review 2 more tomorrow after work!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hello again!

Yay! This review made me so happy - I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought it was great!

I have so much fun writing the 11th Doctor. I have never been able to write any other Doctor. Only lucky number 11.

Can't wait to hear from you again, Rosie!


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Review #12, by RemusSummer at the Abbey: Beginnings

14th June 2014:
Hello!! Perelandra here with your review swap!! :D I'm UBER excited to read this. I LOVE the Doctor (and hoping River might show up...dressed up in some '20s garments...) Downton and of course, Harry Potter. This is like the trinity for me! :D

I've only watched up to season 3 of Downton Abbey so if I don't know who some characters are, and start asking questions I'm sorry. XD

The first thing that jumped at me about this chapter is that Daisy, Mrs. Patmore and everyone from Downton felt very in character. I LOVE Daisy so it was great to see her here. I could picture her in my head rushing about in the kitchen.

Ah and then we have the Doctor! :D I have a question though...how did the screwdriver tell him that they knew Harry? I don't know if that's what it would've done...anyway! But it's your take on it! XD

Time for CC:

You're driving your story by dialogue. You started really strong with description at the beginning with the Next Gen kids and Daisy but as the chapter went on...there was a lot of dialogue. A lot of "he said" and "she said". It kinda gets a bit redundant and stale after a while. Adding description and more narrative will make your story flow a lot better.

Anyway! This is a good start!! I can't wait to see the kids reactions to the TARDIS and why exactly they're there! :D

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so excited that you're excited! It makes me feel like I just got the idea for this story all over again!

Hmmm... You should be fine with this story. All you need to know is that Matthew has passed away.

Unfortuntaly, Daisy does not feature in this very much, besides here. I just wanted to show a snapshot of life at the Abbey.

As for that CC, I appreciate it. That's always something I've struggled with. I think I'm destined to be a playwright!

Thamks for the read and review!


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Review #13, by RemusDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: The Informant

10th June 2014:
Hello!! Perelandra here with the review swap!! :D

I'm uber excited to read this AU story!!

The man dragging him no longer wore his mask, his blonde hair glittering under the starry night

I seriously thought that was Lucius! And was seriously surprised that it was Draco!

Part of me in not entirely shocked that Voldemort would attack a six year old boy...I mean, he did try to kill a one year old baby. But to continue the attack, just so he could be amused, to hear Devlin scream. What I liked about him is that the child kept on looking at Voldemort, knowing that his father would've done the same. The voice in his head...is he a werewolf too?

Harry Potter was no longer so Golden. He was a man who had loved and lost, won brilliantly and failed miserably, felt an inch away from death and a mile above Heaven.

I can't express to you how much I love that opening to the second part. It's brilliant and it describes Harry so well.

You have some moments where the italics and the word next to it are together. For example:

let thathappen.

likethat

In one mans
Change it to 'man's'

but not your sons
add an apostrophe to make it "son's"

*flails* SIRIUS IS ALIVE!!!

Overall this is a great story! I'm intrigued as to what happened to Devlin. Who is this Death Eater? Is he important? Your narrative is fantastic. I found myself glued to the screen until I finished the chapter! You gave us, the readers, great details making it easy to paint the picture in our heads. Also...your Harry here is fantastic! He's so much darker than what I'm used to so that's exciting as well.

My only CC would be for you to re-read the chapter and fix the minor mistakes. Nothing biggie though.

Anyway, thanks for the lovely read!!

--Rosie

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Review #14, by RemusA Promise: Don't leave

3rd June 2014:
Heya!! Perelandra from the forums with a review tag. I chose this fic because I love a good Remus/Tonks story. However, I didn't know that it was going to make me sad! From the very beginning I realized where this was going...I should've KNOWN that it was going to make me teary eyed...

Anyway!

This was brilliantly done. I LOVE the back and forth between the war and their happy life together. They did have that small hiccup when Remus left her but they still loved each other to work past that.

Tonks felt very much like her. The passage that I liked was from Aberforth.

"Aye, Tonks. Fancy seeing you here. Why aren't you already at the battle?"

"Remus made me stay back."

Aberforth snorted. "Does the young man know you at all? Come along then."


He know what Tonks is made out of and is surprised that she wasn't already in battle.

The end though...I just couldn't. It was beautiful and touching. I mean...The whole "why did you leave me? You Promised." just killed me! I just felt the tears begin to build and the whimpering begin. Haha. I wanted to tell Tonks to not die but in the end she did...and the last nail in the coffin was that her last thought was of Remus.

Not her son.

Not her mother.

Remus. The man she loved and sacrificed everything to be with him until the very end. This was a beautiful One-Shot. Even your banner was beautiful! Did you make it?

Anyway! This was a lovely read!

Until next time
--Rosie

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Review #15, by RemusTales of the Death Hunters: Shades of Anger: Malice

3rd June 2014:
Dan!! :D

I'm very excited to read this!! You were my inspiration to write Plot of Power so it's exciting to see a new Post-Hogwarts fic from you!! Maybe it'll motivate me to write chapter 5 today!

Let's get this review started, no? :D

Kaspar Teufelshunde--How did you think of that name...?

Why would the Aurors use muggles as bait? Cops would get in trouble for using civilians, for putting their lives in danger. How did the Aurors get away with it?

Wait, gah! That was brilliantly played! Mary Goldsmith was in on it and is an Auror. How did she do it? How did she break away from the curse? Was she faking it the whole time? So many questions by this point!

Kaspar seems like a very nasty fellow. I do like, however, his personality. When it comes to OCs they can be boring and very Gary/Mary-Stu. Even when they're evil like Kaspar. You, however, managed to make him a very interesting man. I'm not even a little bit surprised. It's you! What I like the most about him is that he has no qualms about killing anyone. Even when it's not necessary. He even goes beyond the killing and makes it a show. An overkill. Yeah, I know that it's weird that I like that in a character but that's what makes them interesting. Darker and more complex when it comes to the brain and train of thoughts.

I was hoping to see Harry in here but alas! Now I have to wait for the next chapter to see him. How far along is this after the war? Are we going to see my favorite pairing (Astoria/Draco)?

As you can see, I'm uber excited about this. *flails* And I can't wait to see where this is going.

As always, a wonderful read Dan!

Until next time!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi, Rosie! Thanks for stopping by!

I think I did some google translating to put Kaspar's last name together, but I'm rather embarrassed to say that I don't remember what it was supposed to mean. I know it made good sense at the time! ;)

You'll find out all about "Mary Goldsmith" in the next chapter. You're correct that she was not what she seemed.

I'm really pleased that you thought Kaspar had depth. It almost feels like a waste, because this is his only appearance in the story. He spends the rest of it in a Ministry holding cell. He is something of an artisan when it comes to killing. Those Durmstrang boys...

You'll see Harry in the next chapter, in all his Harry-ness. Draco and Astoria won't be appearing in this story. It's set about three years after the Dark Lord's death, so assume that they're happily married and Astoria is well on the way to curing him of the wickedness he used to allow into his life.

I'm planning on having the next chapter up in about a week. It's already written and mostly edited. I'd post it sooner, but then the wait for chapter 3 would seem long by comparison. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by RemusActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

1st June 2014:
Hello!! Perelandra here from the forums with a swap! :D I figured you had left me 2 reviews already for Plot of Power it was time for me to come and leave YOU a review! :D

So I'm interested about this fic. I like your narrative. It doesn't feel like there's too much information being shoved down the reader's throat but enough to get us interested. First POV has always been hard for me to write. Even to read and get into when it comes to fics. Your narrative and description, however, was really nice so I had no problems there! So kudos on that! :D

I like how you made Scorpius a Ravenclaw, that's definitely refreshing.

It seems I know what happened to Rose in this story and I'm curious as to what happened. Who did it and what's going to happen to her in the end. Is she going to be able to get through this? Stop feeling numb and enjoy life?

The line:
Not knowing which way to go, a Ravenclaw prefect finally came over and got him.
Just made me laugh! I could imagine an little 11 year old looking at all the tables, kinda moving back and forth, unknowing where to go until he's rescued by a Prefect. Hahaha!! Too cute and great moment.

Anyway, this was a great start! I'll be adding this to my reading list so I can come back to it later! :D OR if you post once again on the review tag in the future, I'll just continue that way. Haha!

Overall, I have no CC!! So yay!!

Until next time!!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi Rosie!

Wow! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! It was really, really kind. I let out a squee when you said you were adding my story to your reading list.

As far as POV goes, I started writing thi fic just in Rose's POV and then decided that I had to switch between her and Scorpius. This made me nervous to do two different characters as first person, so THEN I switched and tried to rewrite the entire thing in third person POV. That just didn't work, so I went back to using first person and switching between Rose and Scorpius. It seems to work the best and I have to remain conscious of whose head I'm in. :) You probably didn't want or need to know all of that, so sorry for being so wordy.

I was intentionally ambiguous about Rose's trauma. But don't worry - it is revealed a few chapters down the line (Chapter 5, I think). The kidnapping happened two years before the story started. I chose to start at this point because Rose is just about ready to start moving on with her life... hopefully.

I'm glad you liked the funny part! I never know if it will carry over.

Thanks again, so much! This review was such a treat!

Beth


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Review #17, by RemusLumos: Temper

1st June 2014:
Heya! Perelandra here once again from the forums with the review swap! So sorry about last time!! I thought I had closed all my brackets but I guess I was wrong. I'll just copy and paste the review and this time, all brackets will be closed!!!

This story sounds VERY Interesting and since you didn't specify which one you wanted read, I just had to pick it!

I really liked the beginning with Snape, Dumbledore and James. However, the interaction between Dumbledore and Snape felt a little out of character. I don't think Snape would've attacked Dumbledore, call him a fool perhaps but not outright attack him. He had too much respect for him to do that; even though he could've been angry with him.

The line though,
'You would be considerably proud.'
Was beautiful! I really liked it.

This line:
I've already told you that I'm not interviewing anyone in the likes of you, say, six times?"

Makes it sound like Harry is doing the interview rather than being interviewed by Rita. If you add "with" after 'interviewing' it kinda changes it.

Skeeter's scandalised face and the murmurs of the crowd elevated his bizarre happiness more. Ashes curled to the ground. On the attack now, Skeeter threatened, "You will pay for that!"

"How are you coping with dear Freddie's death? It is a shame, but one out of seven isn't so bad. Ma Weasley shouldn't be too disap-"


All of that seems very abrupt. Rita goes from being angry about her quill to asking about Fred. You could add something in order to transition from the quill to the snide comment. Something that would help her go from having double personality to a spiteful reporter. She also, by the way, can't print lies otherwise Hermione will reveal her secret; she still has that over her head as far as I know.

Anyway! Poor Harry! He's just being harassed by everyone at this point. What I find great is that I'm partially imagining the actor who portrayed Harry going through something like this. The fans. Cameras. Newspapers...it was all great! And It made me sad that Hermione just didn't stay...she was too busy with her life... Boo!

This is a great start, however, I recommend you do a few more read through because there were some spots that got a little patchy and rough with the flow. You've got a great story that's for sure and I'm anxious to know what's the deal between Harry and Ron! :S

Thank you for doing the swap with me and once again, so sorry that last review!! :(

Until next time
--Rosie

Author's Response: Thankyou very much for this brilliant review and taking the time to re review and everything :)

I just felt like I had to put the opening in, I hadn't seen it anywhere else and I sort of felt like it was something I wanted to do.

I'm also trying to build up the sense of Harry's loneliness in the story by having Hermione do what she does. :(

Thankyou very much for r+r. I hope you enjoyed it!


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Review #18, by RemusCrossing Delicate Boundaries : Positive or Negative

29th May 2014:
Hello! Perelandra here from the forums!!

I decided to read this one because I'm in the mood for some intrigue! :D Just so you know, I'll be reading and reviewing as I read along the chapter.

I really like that Hermione has Luna and Ginny as friends and that Ginny wants a niece of nephew. More, actually since by now she should have a few to keep her occupied. Hahaha.

Aww!! Lavender is alive here! I'm pretty sure she died in the books...but it always made me sad! So I'm glad she's alive here, even though she was attack by Greyback, and that she's friends with Ron...even though Hermione hates it. I know the feeling, even though it's not as severe as Ron's relationship/friendship with Lavender is, so I know what Hermione is going through. HAHAHA! Harry and his groupies! Of course he has them and of course Ginny would get jealous! If JKR would continue writing HP, she would certainly add something like that.

Wait...Why hasn't Hermione gone to find her parents? It's been a while after the war...she should've gone by now! :(

UGH! Why is Lavender calling Ron 'Won-Won'. Oh no! I would've just jumped down at Ron's throat for that, wanting an explanation! Hahaha! That was a good cliffhanger right there!!

I have a couple of CC:

1) You have some punctuation issues. If you were to read this out loud, you'll notice where the comas are missing. Without them, it just loses the flow. Also, some of your sentences seem to go on and on so perhaps breaking them would add to the flow. You also have periods where they don't belong. For example:

"Malfoy, he was let out of Azkaban just today." Harry answered as Ron shook his head in disbelief.

The period after 'today' should be a coma because Harry is answering. So it should be:

"Malfoy, he was let out of Azkaban just today," Harry answered as Ron shook his head in disbelief.

It's a dialogue tag so it links the verb to the dialogue (the object)in the sentence. You have that all around the chapter. If you go back and edit that, it changes the flow.

2) Spacing. Now, this is minimal but the spacing issues you have could make the chapter look prettier.

That's it!! This was a very interesting read! And can't wait to see what happens next!

--Until next time,

Rosie

Author's Response: Well hello Rosie!
I hope you enjoyed my review and thanks so much for coming by and reviewing my first chapter. I loved your review! :D
Hope to see ya around!!!
-Lindsey


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Review #19, by RemusTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : This is your mission, if you should choose to accept it.

29th May 2014:
Heya!! Perelandra here from the forums with your review swap! I've never read a story that has Hermione going into the past let alone a story in which she goes into the past and falls for Sirius. So I'm actually very interested int this story.

I like how Dumbledore is still well...Dumbledore. He keeps everything a secret and makes everyone else do his dirty jobs. I also like how Hermione doesn't say "good bye" to Ron or Harry; doesn't explain anything to them. Her loyalties are always to those two and knows that if she had seen them she would've said something of Dumbledore's plans.

Remus, however, made me a bit sad. He is supposed to be scared in the face; that's what makes him warewolfie in my eyes. Hahaha to each their own though.

Ah! Beautiful touch! I liked how Hermione had to pretend that she didn't know what the houses were and asked what Gryffindor was!

Towards the end it got too conversationally and very little scenery description. Basically, no "meat" towards the end. I would've liked to see Hermione going into her dormitory with the other seventh year girls and talk to Lily.

Anyway, this is a great story and I can't wait to see what happens! I have so many questions! How is Hermione going to deal with her feelings for Sirius? Will she leave him behind? Will they get back together when Hermione comes back to the present? Hahaha so many questions and I guess I should continue to read in order to find out!

Thank you for the swap and see ya in the next chapter!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hiya!! That is so exciting that this is your first Hermione Time Travel story!! I just love that plotline! I think it's so much fun to see her interact with Lily and the Marauders. I really feel that if she and Lily were the same age, they would have gotten along wonderfully. And I just love reading - and now writing - Hermione and Sirius together!

Dumbledore is such a difficult character to get right. Truly no one will ever come close to JKR when it comes to writing him. But I was hoping to do him justice. It's so awesome to hear that I managed to write him well! Like others have commented below, it just really stands out when he's written too differently. I didn't want her to say goodbye to Harry and Ron. I wanted to make this feel like a solo journey for her. One she is enduring completely alone. That, and knowing Harry and Ron, they would have tried to stop her. Or go with her.

I'm sorry your were disappointed with Lupin. :( My reasoning behind having him not too scarred yet, was I was hoping to convey how whole and carefree they all still were at this point in time. But I do completely see where you're coming from there.

Haha I'm glad you like her feigned ignorance. Hermione, ever the perfectionist, I can see really laying it on thick like that. I mean, she *is* a transfer student. ;)

Description is probably my achilles heel. It's definitely something I struggle with and something I know I need to work on. Conversation and dialogue just flow very effortlessly for me. But I know, I have to add in a bit more description.

I'm thrilled that you're enjoying it so far!! I truly hope the rest of the story does not disappoint. I'm absolutely loving writing this and the warm reception it's been getting so far is blowing my mind! Thank you so much for the swap and for the lovely review!!

xoxo - Meg


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Review #20, by RemusThe Tower of Stars: Prologue

28th May 2014:
Heya! Perelandra from the forums here!

I have to say this prologue is definitely short but it's very intense! I just wanted to know what was going to happen to Brienne! Was she going to get caught? Who was the "she" that killed her mother...was it Bellatrix? So many questions!

What I like the most out of this is that it feels like a prologue...if that makes sense. This chapter, though short, has a lot of imagery. You're able to paint a picture in the reader's head and make us anxious for your character. So kudos to you for that!

I really liked this because the prologue felt very quick and short...almost as if we were reading a chapter full of adrenaline. I really want to know what happens next! And I just realized that this is a sequel to your other story so I might have to read that first BEFORE continuing to read this. Gah! I'm definitely adding the Joker and Her since I love the twins! And I'll be coming back to continue reading this.


Until next time, Illuminate!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi! What a lovely review, thank you very much! If you go over to The Joker and Her I hope you enjoy it xD

I'm glad you thought this was an effective prologue, I really wanted it to be intense and fast-paced :)

Thank you again!


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Review #21, by RemusThe Lost Wolf: A Wolf at the Door

5th May 2014:
Hey!! So sorry that I've taken forever to come here to review! RL has been kicking my behind and I'm even a bit sick right now. Haha. But I think I can manage the review.

Your flow and writing is great. I really like the detail you give the reader and I was able to paint the picture just fine in my head, which is what I like to do when I'm reading. However, it seems your spacing is a bit off. I know at the beginning you might've wanted it as part of the story but it gets a little wonky through all the way down to about halfway until it's fixed.

I spotted a few instances where you're missing some commas and periods. Now, I hope you don't take this very harshly, and I'm telling you this because I've seen it happen multiple times and don't want it to see it happen with your story considering that I find Cassandra a rather interesting character. Keep an eye out for Cassandra because she has the potential on becoming a Mary-Sue. She has a lot of the indicators and could turn readers off. At least, that's what I gathered from this one chapter alone.

Anyway!

I wonder why she picked the surname Lupin? Does she know about them? Her past seems to have been locked away...was it by magic or just something that's tucked away in her memory after a traumatic event?

The Colonel sounded interesting. He adopted her so doesn't he have some little feelings towards her? What about the adoptive mother? Doesn't she have a say in this whole 'disowning' moment? Does she not care? *So many questions!!!*

Anyway, this was a good beginning! Thank you for the review swap and so sorry that I've taken forever and ever to come and review this.

--Rosie

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Review #22, by RemusRun: Run

24th April 2014:
Hola!! Thanks for doing the swap with me!!

I had to listen to the song before reading this just to feel the theme of the story. Sounds intense!

I have to give you kudos for doing this in second POV. That's so hard to do, personally speaking, but you seemed to have done this without any flaw. I absolutely love the description. The music and your details make it very easy for me to paint the picture in my head; and I love that.

What I like the most is that she's not a Ravenclaw by birth!! That's so different!

You know, I was kinda confused at first as to why exactly Rowena's father hadn't busted in to Salazar's house. I figured a man that drunk wasn't going to let it go that easily. Then the big bomb happened.

I never saw it coming that Salazar had killed Rowena's father. What's sad is that he didn't kill her father because he was doing it for her, but because he was a mudblood. It makes me wonder, again, if this man is capable of love.

Since you wrote this, I have to ask you...did he love her? Did he see himself making a life with her? Or did he think he loved her? I'll let you decide. :D

The end though, I think it needs a bit more work. Maybe? I don't know, it just felt out of place or rushed. Everything else was great though. Grammar, flow...I even did a quick search for "I" or "she" and nothing came up. I've seen some Second POV fics and once or twice the authors have slipped.

Anyway!!! Thank you for the wonderful read! I love Founders Fics and I honestly think that they don't get that much love.

Until next time

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hello Rosie! (I've gotten used to calling you Pere in my head, so I need to start using your real name now. :P)

Thank you so much! I only attempted this PoV recently in one of my other stories, and I never expected to write another so soon! Your lovely comments are so motivating, thank you!

When I researched about Rowena, I came across a part which said that she was either born or married into the Ravenclaw family. And it fit the plot I had in mind. :D

In my view, Salazar did love her. Or came as close to love as he could with anyone. With the way I picture it, she was the only person who ever made an impact in his life, and losing her was the worst thing that could happen. BUT. His views wouldn't change. They were so firmly rooted that he couldn't even understand why the others found them distasteful. For this reason, they could never work out. I think it's quite tragic.

I'm not sure if by end, you mean the seven years later part, or the ending just before that section. Either ways, I'll go through it once again. I wanted it to be that way in order to emphasize on the most important parts. The seven years section was just a small thing to indicate their feelings towards one another, as well as Rowena's marriage to Ravenclaw. I'll go through it and see what I can do though. :)

Thank you so much for this incredible review!

~Erin


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Review #23, by RemusDetox: Yes

4th April 2014:
Long time, eh? :D

I had forgotten my love/hate relationship with Gamp. But the line If you'll excuse us, we're gonna go overthrow the Ministry. When you're done wasting time on these blood traitors, you can go crawl back into your cave." reminded me of my dislike of him because he's brutal and my love for him thanks to your fantastic work in characterization.

Draco refused to give the former Death Eater the satisfaction--Alright so this line kinda made me think a little bit. Why would they be 'Former' Death Eaters? Even with Voldemort gone, they're still Death Eaters. I guess 'former' would apply to those that left Voldemort voluntarily. Which we know that never happened.

Gah so much action!! I can't believe that it was an Auror in disguise!! Once again you managed to fool us. Haha.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm annoyed with Ron for interrupting Astoria and Draco! And he wants to arrest him? What?! I want to strangle him right now.

And now he wants to arrest Astoria too? It makes me wonder if he's a bit prejudiced himself towards some purebloods. I don't know if its because of the war (its been a year after) or because he just hates Draco personally and everything related to him.

HOLD UP! What?! Zabini was Harry?! WHAT?!

"You'd haggle with your possible future father-in-law over ten Galleons a week?"


"You'd marry your daughter off to a man who settled for a twenty Galleon salary when he's obviously worth thirty?"


I cannot tell you how much I loved that exchange!

AAH *flails*

She said yes!!! Gah! That was the perfect ending to this chapter!! And I needed this happiness today after a very 'ugh' day at work and watching a very sad episode of Once Upon a Time; I cannot handle character's death very well, specially when they developed them really well. Hahaha, sorry I'm still angry from "The Big Moment".

Dan!! I've missed your story telling and I'm glad to be back to read more! Hope to hear from you soon! And hope to see a new, epic story as well! Do you have other stories planned or is work keeping you too busy from brewing new stuff?

Anyway! Miss ya and until next time!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi, Rosie!

It has taken an embarrassingly long time to respond to this; I apologize. I was so excited when I saw it!

If I've accomplished nothing else, it seems I've allowed a few readers to rekindle that love/loathe magic with our old pal Jeremy. He's truly one of a kind.

Hmmnn... Interesting point you have there. In some ways, they ceased to be Death Eaters when Voldemort died. But Avery doesn't seem to have accepted that his master is truly dead, so perhaps not. Something to think on.

If you recall from CoB, Draco says something disparaging about Daphne's ex-husband. I believe it went something like, "Gamp is a donkey who to break into Azkaban with two undercover Aurors and the village twit at his back." Well, you've met the first Auror already, and the second is...

Harry! So you see, the Aurors have a long and fruitful history of polyjuicing themselves to be Blaise Zabini and/or his mother.

Poor Ron. I made him sort of a jerk in this story. I didn't mean to, but sometimes when you're writing a "Slytherin story", you need some Gryffindors to be the villains.

The negotiations over salary between Draco and Mr. Greengrass were some of my favorite dialog in the entire story. You can take the boy out of Malfoy Manor, but you can't take Malfoy Manor out of the boy.

And she says yes. It's kind of a soft yes. She still has to finish school, he still needs to impress her father, but she does say yes. Think of it more as a betrothal.

The sun is starting to break through the clouds a bit at my new job, so I do hope to be around more often. And I have a few ideas for a new story to start. It's all a matter of time.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #24, by RemusTraitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

28th March 2014:
I'm here!! :D

I really liked Lavinia's characterization. She sounds like a proper lady, but at the same time she seems to get a bit tired of being a proper lady. By the way, the name Lavinia, is that from Downton Abbey? I just always thought this was a very unique name. And wow, she met quite an end!!

Woah, hold up! So basically Levania spied because she was technically 1)bored and 2) restricted by her gender? NICE! And lastly, she got killed by another Death Eater?! What?! Who?! Will we know at the end of this?

GAH! Astoria is taking matters into her own hands. I really like this plot. It's different from any other ones that I've read. They're usually very cliche when it comes to both Draco and Astoria but your Astoria seems to be strong in her own accord. And a spy, whether she's a novice or not, a spy nonetheless. I can't imagine how she'll help bring down Voldemort.

Is this happening while Harry is away at his camping trip, right? Haha! I love to read Hogwarts stories when they take during Harry's 7th year. They're, for me, like behind the scenes while Harry was away.

Anyway! I'm adding this story to my faves! :D

--Rosie

Author's Response: Yay! Delighted to have you here. :D I just posted my review of your chapter.

That's a very accurate summation of Lavinia's character. "A proper lady who gets a bit tired of being a proper lady." I like it.

I didn't actually get the name from Downton Abbey. Is there a character named Lavinia on Downton Abbey? Everyone tells me that I should watch that show, and that I'd love it, but they've taken it off Netflix, so I'm just out of luck for now. I actually named Lavinia after a character I wrote for a theatre assignment where I had to write a scene in the style of Tennessee Williams. They weren’t really alike, as characters, but I liked the name and when I was trying to assign one to her character, that was the moniker that floated up from the depths of my mind.

Yup. There you have the majority of Lavinia's motivation. Thanks so much! Lavinia is pretty complicated. I wanted to explore a character who was a "bad guy", but you could understand her reasons for "turning to the dark side", so to speak. As far as whether or not you will learn who exactly killed her, and why...well, I am not in the habit of making assurances.

However, I will tell you that those are questions that Astoria certainly wants answered. And Astoria IS rather good at getting information when she wants it... ; )

Thanks. There is a huge smile on my face. I am so happy that you like the plot. I have tried to mix things up a little bit. Astoria is definitely strong. And as to how to give Voldemort some trouble, well, she definitely has some plans to that end.

Yes! This is happening during DH, and I'm really impressed that you caught that, because most people have had trouble nailing down the time in the first couple chapters (which is my fault, for not making it clearer. But still, you're obviously a careful reader). And you're in luck then, because, especially later in this story, you'll get a pretty extensive behind-the-scenes view.

Oh my goodness, thank you! I feel so honored! And thank you for your sweet, thoughtful review. I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter!

--Penny


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Review #25, by RemusGame Over: One

27th March 2014:
Perelandra here from the forums!! I had to pick this story because it sounded interesting! It also made me wonder how you can make a story with just 500 words per chapter. So I had to pick this one! And I have to say, I find it very impressive that you combined 3 challenges at once! Hope you place on either one!

Gah that was over too quickly! Who is this Matt and that lady?

I absolutely loved your entire chapter. I loved the detail you give us without really going overboard with it. It's quick but the chapter still felt nicely paced.

You were quick at making me wonder what is James doing. What's his line of work? What happened? Who did he anger so much to have everything stolen from him? What' in the note!

So many questions! Hahaha! But that's good though! A good author makes you wonder right off the bat what is going on.

Question though. The line that says He could smell it: must, with a hint of shellfish. Is it "Musk" maybe? O.o That was the only thing that jumped right at me that seemed to disrupt the flow.

Wonderful start! Must know what happens next!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi there!

Yes, it had me wondering if 500 words was enough for a chapter too... not one of those "prologue teaser" quickies, but an actual beginning, middle, end with a twist things. I gave it my best shot.

Lots of questions, and believe me, I was asking the same thing, right along with "what have I gotten myself into, writing this way?" Hmm. I'll have to check my notes and see if that "must" was a typo or not. I have used the word "must" before, to describe the smell of grapes. It's a brewing term when you're making wine. Now I can't remember if that's what Matt smells like or not. Haha! I guess it doesn't matter, as long as it's consistent, because it comes up in another chapter. Gah! Now you're making me go and check!

Okay, nope. Only the clams repeats. So it could go either way. I'm gonna keep the "must" because it's more interesting and less sexy. And clams mixed with musk... blech! :P

Thanks for checking this out! I hope you can come back for more sometime!

-Pix


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