Reading Reviews From Member: DRAmatic_draMOINE
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DRAmatic_draMOINEHer Broken Heart: Ron's Proposal

14th September 2014:
All right. this is a great start for a story. here are a few things that really turned me off from reading it
-grammar, make sure your sentences make sense.
-the passing of time. when you said she had been sleeping for 3 weeks I was like what??? expand on your time passing. or at least make it more believable that she had been sleeping for 3 weeks
-the other is her being in love with someone else. I really don't think that she would tell ron that but this is your plot, so that part is totally up to you.

also you should place something in between Hermione's pov and draco's pov to let us know that the pov is changing.
this may seem like a lot to tell but I believe that taking a moment to look at the things I pointed out can turn this fabulous plot into a great story. don't stop writing!
~drae~~~

Author's Response: Thanks for the help. It really helps. Sorry about the grammar I've been doing it on my phone and it auto checks. I really hope I keep writing.
Thanks for the help. J really hope you.enjoyed it.

-MJM


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Review #2, by DRAmatic_draMOINEDrowning Down Under: Chapter 15: Doris

13th September 2014:
I really do not like the way Hermione treated doris (though she was completely annoying) Hermione would've tried to be her friend... or tell her to tone it down. seems to me that doris is just misunderstood and needing friends. you also have a lot of short 'filler' chapters. your story is really great but you have a lot of short chapters that are more like filling. nd a good story really doesn't need it

Author's Response: Doris, Doris, Doris... It's been a really long time since I looked at this chapter. :) This chapter was basically meant to span a lot of weeks, it's not necessarily the nicest way to treat a person, but that's why I aimed to make Doris the most annoying, wacky, exasperating character I could (and I hope I succeeded). Doris was meant to be the kind of clumsy, clutzy and fun person who you're very happy to be around for short amounts of time, but who often fixates onto one person, and never is far away. The fact that she started cutting Ginny out of the picture was the reason that Hermione began growing exasperated at her, as well as the fact that I often imagined Doris being the kind of person Hermione would have been had she not become friends with Harry and Ron, which is why they clash a bit, similar personalities and all. Looking back on these first chapters is interesting for me as I was a few years younger and so my maturity and sense of humour from back then is only too evident. x)

I hope that this clears up my artistic choices. As for my 'filler' chapters, I'm aware they're filler chapters. The most stories have these 'filler' chapters I've found :) I think they gave me a chance to try out things and give context to characters and my story too so I hope that you still find them enjoyable.

Anyhow, thanks for reading and reviewing. It was lovely to hear all of your positive feedback.
~AussieLottie


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Review #3, by DRAmatic_draMOINEDrowning Down Under: Chapter 5: In the Bedroom

13th September 2014:
your story is interesting so far but you should take more time to go into the character of Hermione. as well as stop randomly switching the p.o.v. I love the story so far but the way Hermione is acting is more out of character

Author's Response: I hadn't noticed that my POV changes were entirely random... I just checked and noticed that one page break bar was missing which is meant to establish the POV change, I believe I mention it in my A/N.

I'll go edit it now. Thanks for pointing it out.
~AussieLottie


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Review #4, by DRAmatic_draMOINESemi Charmed Life : Get Up, Stand Up

23rd December 2011:
i really like this story... i just dont like how she transitioned soo quickly...

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Review #5, by DRAmatic_draMOINEThe Malfoy Mission: Ending Epilogue

19th December 2011:
great story!!! i love it. only wish it was longer. everything happened too fast! lol. but great nonetheless! :)

Author's Response: thank you so much! yeah...and i did feel like i rushed it a weee bit..but yeahh...haha(:

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