Hey! I'm so so sorry it's taken me ages to get around to this review. I don't know what happened--life, I suppose. Anywho, on to the review!
Even though this chapter was incredibly short, I really enjoyed reading it. There was a huge range of emotions in just a short amount of time. Excitement, fear, confusion, sorrow, and happiness. I got chills when I realized that Victoire was dead.
I do wish you had expounded on some of those emotions a bit. It would have been nice to be able to hear a few of Teddy's thoughts as he was waiting for his wife to give birth. Something to make it seem like the waiting really did feel like forever. There are so many things that are going through a father's mind during that time.
I was a bit confused as to why they took a car to the hospital. I'm pretty sure most wizards don't just have a car on-hand, especially wizards that don't have any Muggle parents.
I really liked the bit where Teddy's hair changes. That was cute and it made me chuckle a bit to picture him freaking out over the baby and not noticing that his hair had turned white.
Overall, I like it. It's a great first chapter because it introduces the main character, gives a good background of what happened, and it kept my interest.
Keep it up!
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'll try to work on the emotion of the story as I can, and I'm glad you like it! And thank you for the review! It was really helpful! Report Review
I still hate you for the way this chapter ends. Like, so much hate. You just had to end it with that cliffhanger, didn't you?
You couldn't have said, "They have to OBLIVIATE YOU!" and then have Scorpius be like, "Oh, no big. I don't wanna remember this anyway. I hate these people. Good grief, just send me home."
That would have been nicer. And much less cliffhangery. And much much less awesome, but still.
Anywho! Your writing is beautiful and amazing and perfect and just plain awesome, as always. And I'm the best beta ever, so obviously there aren't any mistakes left in there. I hope. I really really hope. So, it looks like you've got yourself a pretty nice chapter!
I'm rambling. I should stop rambling. You're awesome, I'm awesome, we're all awesome. And if you couldn't tell, I'm a wee bit bored.
Err, right, well. HAVE A SPECTACULAR DAY!
-Dem-Author's Response: Hahaha. You should've just changed the ending when you were beta-ing it...I probably wouldn't have even noticed (;
Thank you thank you thank. You are the best beta ever (pending the discovery of any mistakes).
We are all awesome. Have a good day too! And thanks for the sweet review (: Report Review
Oh geez, I forgot how much I loved this one-shot. Remus is one of those beautifully tragic characters that just made me hope and hope and hope throughout the entire series that something good would happen to him. And you, my friend, have captured that feeling perfectly.
Every single one of these moments of his life left me with chills at the end. And even though I knew how his life ended, I still kept hoping for good things to happen.
Such a beautifully written, incredibly depressing story, haha.
(p.s. In the last sentence of Waning Crescent, the "no" should be "not". I am an awful beta for not catching that the first time. Dx )Author's Response: And I forgot how much I loved you and that awesome thing you do where you write really nice reviews for things I write :) Thank you for being awesome.
On second thought, YOU MISSED A TYPO? I take it back. Your awesomeness is revoked ;)
(I fixed it! thx) Report Review
Wow. Just wow.
What a unique story! I honestly never thought of Bertie Bott as a person. I mean, it makes sense, obviously--someone had to create the beans! But I just never really...connected it, haha. I feel a bit silly, actually.
You have such a beautiful writing style--it's almost poetic. But it has enough of a "novel" tone to it that it doesn't make it difficult to read.
I kinda wondered what would happen to Myrtle if she'd actually lived. It was just so sweet the way Bertie lifted her up and how his words saved her life.
DemAuthor's Response: No, I know what you mean. Some characters were just a thing, like Dr. Filibuster and Bertie Bott. He just grew out of nowhere in this, as it was originally entirely about Myrtle.
Me? Poetic? Wow, never thought of myself that way before. But I'll take your word for it! Readability is one of many things I strive for, so it's nice to hear that's present in my writing.
Above, I said how it was originally about Myrtle, and that plan centered on what would have happened if she'd lived. But then I went searching for ways that she could have been saved, and Bertie was born. Because she died as a result of being teased, so I needed someone to counteract that. And what you see here was born. ;)
Thank you for another great review! Report Review
Ooh, this is amazing!
I love the snide remarks from Draco even after so many years. But they aren't as...biting. Which is nice. It shows that he has had some remorse for his actions, become a bit more civil.
This was truly one of the cutest stories I've read. I was shocked to hear Malfoy say that their children would marry! And then even more for him to bet a dance over it. Though I suppose it makes sense that he knew it would bother her.
It was a really neat twist on a Rose/Scorpius as well as a Hermione/Draco story. Obviously the latter two would never be together, but I could definitely see some sort of friendship coming from this.
Beautifully written! I love it!
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you! I felt it was important to show Draco had grown up, at least a little bit. It would be unrealistic to think he hadn't changed at all in the years after school, just as it would also be to assume he'd become an entirely new man. I tried to find some semblance of balance.
I'm not so sure about a friendship coming from this. I tried, after all, to write a full on romance with the two, and just couldn't do it. ;) I think perhaps a grudging respect, if they're lucky.
Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
xD "Her lips that is..."
Gets me every time.
I think my next favorite part would have to be when he tells Harry he has a strange urge to punch him in the face, but doesn't remember why.
Poor Ron. Having girl troubles even when he's asleep!
WRITE MORE STORIES! RAWR!
Ahem.Author's Response: HEY. Hey. Hey.
I'll write more when I get some inspiration yo. ;P
Oh, and wowthanksitmeanssomuchthatyoulikedit. :D
-Lem Report Review
Ooh, very interesting!
The Little Mermaid was my favorite movie to watch when I was younger. I was surprised at how ugly the merpeople were in the Harry Potter series.
This seems pretty neat. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens. I can't believe Cleo would just disobey her father like that!
Oh, I just wanted to point out that you used the word "memorized" where you meant to put "mesmerized". Tiny difference in spelling, big difference in meaning. xD
DemAuthor's Response: thank you so much!
And I loved that movie too. It wasn't my all time favorite, but it was one of them, and I'm really enjoying writing this.
And, yeah, they were, and it will be explained later on why some of them are and some of them are not. :)
Why she disobeyed her father will also be explained, so don't worry about that!
Wow, I didn't realize that! I really need to proofread more, Haha.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, it really means a lot to me. Report Review
Wow, this is magnificent. It's a dark, creepy, sad kind of way.
I truly enjoy your writing style. It flows across the page so easily, even with the disjointed thoughts. Your imagery is beautiful. I really felt like I could feel everything she felt, see everything she saw, hear everything she heard, etc. It was like being submerged into the story instead of reading it.
The Dementors have to be one of the creepiest and most frightening creatures in the entire series. I really think you captured them and the terror they bring. The Kiss...the way you described it just made it so real.
There was so much in this one-shot, even with so few words. Simply amazing.
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you so so so so much! Sorry I didn't respond to this earlier, I've been away without internet access for weeks o.O
I tried to make my writing as detail-oriented as possible in this story, focusing really on how the world looked to her, and I'm really really happy you pointed that out in your review :blush:
The Dementors frighten me SO MUCH. All those spindly fingers and cold-ish-ness, it just frightens me and I really tried to bring that out also :P
Thank you billions for the review! :huggle: Report Review
Still impressed. :)
I'm not sure I'm enjoying her...attitude so much, but I have a feeling something in her is going to change. Plus, I feel a bit sorry for her. It's hard to dislike someone you know is going to die. :/
I have to say I enjoy your Remus. I like that he joins in on the jokes and isn't always standing there with this disapproving look on his face but never saying anything. He had to be in on some things to be a Marauder! So yes, I'm enjoying that quite a lot.
Another lovely chapter!
Dem Report Review
Wow. I am just in love with your writing style. It flows so easily and even though there wasn't a lick of dialogue in this chapter I could really get a feel for your main character's personality.
I don't usually even open Sirius/OC fics because they're disappointing more often than not, but Azkaban was one of the best stories I've read and I figured if someone could write a decent Sirius/OC, it'd be you.
I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this story. :)
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! Ahha, I'm so very very very flattered by this. This is one of my first stories (or at least, one of my first stories that hasn't been unceremoniously deleted and said au reviour to) and I hope that you don't find this a dissapointment too. Thanks for joining me :)
-AC Report Review
Oh no! That's it? Haha, I don't even get to find out what she told Severus? That's just...that's mean.
I've always been very interested in Lily and Snape's relationship. Most of the time it's assumed that they never spoke after the night he called her a Mudblood, but after being friends for that long it's hard to just walk away and not look back.
I really really really want to know what they talked about! xD
DemAuthor's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!!
I'm sorry!! I've been meaning to finish chapter three for AGES but it was turning out REALLY badly, not how I wanted at all. So I'm basically scraping it and re-writing it. It's just taken longer than I had originally hoped. I WILL post chapter three soonish.I'm dedicating part of it to lizzacc who's favorite pairing was Lily/Snape (I think...I can't find it now!! Now I'm afraid I made that up in my head :/).
I don't think that was the last time they spoke...and that's what sort of prompted me into writing this. I needed to have some sort of closer between Lily and Snape that the book didn't give us.
You will find out soon! I promise! *goes off to write chapter 3*
Thanks again fro reviewing!
PP Report Review
I love the way you write Dumbledore! I really miss the cooky old man that didn't seem to have a care in the world from the earlier books. I think you did a wonderful job balancing that with the Dumbledore we grew to know in the later ones.
I'm very curious to see what new he has for Lily. :/
DemAuthor's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!
Dumbledore is one of my favorite characters and I'm glad you thought I did him justice. I worked really hard on making him as dumbledore-ish as possible (if that makes sense). I really wanted to capture the essence of his character because he plays a major role in this story.
The news isn't pretty I'm afraid :/ You'll see soon enough...
Thanks again for the review!!
PP Report Review
Aww, that was adorable! It's really nice to read a different pairing every once in a while. The usuals are great, but it takes a little more effort to make noncanon pairings work. I really enjoyed this. I especially loved the conflict that Hannah felt--torn between automatically disliking Theo because he's a Slytherin and giving into her feelings.
Very nice little one-shot. :)
DemAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reading a reviewing!!
I adore different pairings :) But as I've mentioned in the story summary, this was written for a challenge (Slytherin/Hufflepuff Romance) so I can't take all the credit lol.
Hannah just needed to realize that her feelings were more than what she orginally made them out to be. The sequel (which I swear to god I will finish and post soon) goes more in depth with their feelings and it's got a much darker mood to it.
Thanks again for the wonderful review!!
PP Report Review
It was hard to read this knowing that Colin was going to die at the end. Death is sad in any situation, but even more so when the victim is young. Colin admired Harry so much. I'm not surprised he went back to fight.
I enjoyed the way you wrote this--going through all of the pictures that Colin took as he was fighting his way through the castle. I'm a bit surprised Wood and the others didn't force him to leave, but I suppose they didn't really have time to look after him.
It was well written and certainly a different perspective on the Final Battle. Well done. :)
DemAuthor's Response: So sorry for the late response! I haven't updated in nearly a year and a half and don't have any chaptered stories anyway, so I have gotten out of the habit of checking for new reviews.
I'm not surprised that Colin went back to fight either. It does seem to fit his personality, doesn't it? You are correct to say that he "went back," though. That is one canon error I have in this story, that Colin was still at school :
With the pictures, I wanted to have 24, to have it be like a roll of film, so I could have that (slightly cheesy) line at the end about the film winding back.
Anyway, thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :) Report Review
Wow. Beautiful. I got chills so many times. What a very bittersweet story.
-Dem- Report Review
I always felt incredibly sorry for Ginny when Harry ended it right after it had begun. But not as sorry as I feel for her now after reading this. Harry avoided her as much as he could after he ended it, so we didn't really get to see much of how she was feeling and what she was going through it the actual series.
It must have been incredibly hard for her to see him go off like that, ready to die, not knowing if she'd ever see him again.
This was really beautiful.
DemAuthor's Response: This is like my oldest story of all time so I always feel really awkward with people reading it, but I'm really glad that you actually enjoyed it! I think Ginny had a ROUGH time here and it was interesting to explore it :) Report Review
Aww, that was really adorable!
I enjoyed that it was short, just a snippet of both of their lives. Even so, I would have liked to know why Drostan was so intent on threatening and cursing Bryce. It just seemed so random.
I liked how you had him thinking outloud and her correcting him. It was really cute and I could totally see him being a little embarrassed that he'd gotten it wrong.
Really cute. Nice and sweet. :)
DemAuthor's Response: Thanks for the feedback! I suppose I never really thought through the reasoning behind the curses... maybe another story could come from it!
Lucy x Report Review
Huh, interesting. I think it was incredibly rushed. There was definitely a good moment here for something to develop between Harry and Draco, but not so quickly.
Though it's certainly something to think about.
-Dem- Report Review
I'm very confused. If this happens before Harry and Ron and before Harry and Luna why did those other two happen at all? Or how did it end so quickly without Ginny acting out?
I do enjoy your writing style. It flows very nicely.
-Dem- Report Review
Wow. Ron is rather mental, isn't he? Very manipulative and controlling. Certainly not what I'm used to, but not bad.
I enjoy the way you write Luna and Draco. They are both mostly in character and it makes the story a bit more believable.
A lot of drama in that house this summer, eh? haha
-Dem- Report Review
Hmm, very interesting.
I find it a little odd that everyone is snogging all over the place. The summer is only 3 months long. They couldn't have been stuck together for that long. :/
I am enjoying the dynamic of Ron and Harry's relationship, even is Ron is ridiculously violent and no one seemed to hear them in the bathroom. O.o
-Dem- Report Review
Another lovely chapter. :)
I love your writing style. It just flows so easily and really goes along with Luna's character. I have to say I was a little confused with the jingling and the door part. I thought she was talking about the front door to the Inn, not Rolf's room door. It was rather confusing, though that could have just been me.
I am really enjoying the interactions between the two of them. They're short, but there's a lot that happens in them. I'm curious to find out what happened to Rolf's wife, that's for sure.
Really looking forward to the next chapter! :D
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you for yet another lovely review. I'm really at a loss for what else to say. Report Review
Oh, I love this!
It definitely helps that I literally just re-read the Shrieking Shack scene, but I really enjoy Sirius's story. It makes me incredibly sad and breaks my heart every time, but I'm just glad he was redeemed. I'm glad Harry knows that it wasn't him, even if it did take 12 years.
I loved the addition of Lily into all of this. I never really thought of it, but it would make sense for Sirius to implant someone in his head to talk to after being imprisoned for so long.
Beautifully written and such a pleasure to read!
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review! :) PoA has always been my favourite book, and when those two challenges popped up, I knew I HAD to make them relevant to Sirius somehow.
As far as Lily goes, I read somewhere that the brain's ultimate defence against trauma is developing split personailties, and while I don't think Sirius is THAT mad, he's certainly off his rocker. ;) Plus, I didn't want him just going around talking to himself-- I wanted someone there to kind of keep him in line, KEEP him sane. (Or at least try to. :P ) Lily seemed like the natural choice. :)
I'm glad you liked it! It was certainly fun to write. :) Report Review
This is really amazing! Seriously. It's so twisted and sad. I felt so bad for Euan when he was listening to Jessica. I don't know what he did, but I don't feel like it was his fault. I feel terrible that he's still haunted by these nightmares. And I kinda dislike Jessica for not understanding it.
I only wish I knew who these characters were! Potter was the only name I recognized, obviously. I can't tell if they're connected to canon characters in some way. Not that it really matters, I suppose, but I definitely spent the entire time trying to figure out who it was. xD
It's really beautiful, it a dark way. I loved the way you wrote it. It definitely felt disjointed like it would for him while was in Azkaban, everything running together.
Lovely, lovely one-shot!
DemAuthor's Response: Thank you very much DementersChild! :D
A lot of people kind of dislike Jessica, but I think theres more on her character a lot later in the story. Plus, the identity of all the other characters creep in later on too. Thank you very much for this lovely review though :) :)
-AC Report Review
Such an amazing prologue! I was drawn completely in from the start wondering who this mystery woman was and who the man was she'd gone to see.
I loved the way you wrote his dialogue. It takes some getting used to, but being able to really hear his voice in my head was totally worth it.
I'm already so curious to find out what they're talking about who that child is.
DemAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your review. I really enjoy writing Grufflin, a lot. I can hear him in my head very clearly and just try not to mess up when I write it out.
Oh and there's plenty to come and lots to be revealed. Report Review
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