I'm just come to read your fantastic chapter for the 'Ronald Weasley Challenge'. The idea behind the challenge was to make Ron's positive attributes take a role on HPFF and make the reader view Ron is a different wat to how he is often portrayed.
I LOVED this chapter! You took such a small incident throughout the series and captured Ron's personality and hidden traits that are so often forgotten.
I really liked how you wrote this from Hermione's perspective - for some reason, I really wasn't expecting it and her added opinion on what the insult meant to her just added depth to the story.
At no point did your characterisation feel out of place and you've really set up the backstory for the future plot lines - it also provides a reason for why Hermione always persists in saying that Ron just needs to focus more.
You've portrayed Ron as smart (I never realised it was non-verbal!), brave and loyal - I'm so glad that you wrote this!
The results will hoepfully be up soon, Keira :)Author's Response: I'm so happy as I'm reading this. I've been away from the site for a while due to other commitments, so coming back to read a review like this is brilliant! I actually found this very difficult to write and had to do several drafts of different ideas until I came up with this, so it means so much to me that you enjoyed it.
I thank you for the challenge, which was more challenging than I originally thought. I hope to enter another soon. Thanks for reviewing too. =] Report Review
I'm just dropping in to read your great chapter for the 'Ronald Weasley Challenge'. The idea behind the challenge was to give Ron his time in the spotlight - perhaps giving an insight to his future decisions.
You did this brilliantly! :) The idea of having his wand being his priority on his birthday (and why not?), then having a big disapointment as he gets Charlie's old wand instead.
You portrayed Ron really well - it was just like I imagine Ron to behave. Your characterisation is great - Ron evokes sympathy but he also keeps a boyish charm that is common in 11 year old boys. Molly and Arthur portray a great family atmosphere - I love that all the kids rush to see Arthur when he returns home.
I also really liked Fred and George's unique present of every type of Berti Botts - it's something I can easily imagine them doing and it's also relatively cheap, which would be key to the Weasleys.
Other then Ron, I loved how you portrayed Charlie. He knows what Ron must be thinking and instantly slips into 'older brother' mode by creating a story that will make Ron like his newish present.
A great entry! The results should be up soon. Keira :) Report Review
I'm just popping in to read your lovely chapter for the 'Ronald Weasley Challenge'. The idea behind the challenge was to make Ron's positive attributes take a role on HPFF and I've got to say that you portrayed this brilliantly!
I love how Ron is the only Weasley to feel bad and decides to visit the Granger's house after he sees Hermione looking disappointed. At no point did Ron seem OOC and you really captured the relationship between Ron and his siblings.
Your characterisation was perfect! Fred and George were cheeky, (slightly rude) and I liked how they dressed as each other - thinking outside the box, just like they would. I loved Percy questioning whiter they'd have time to say thank you - it was so Percy without coming across as snobby! Gunny was cute - young yet independent! Charlie just seemed exasperated which is how I always imagine him to act like when Bill leaves him to go to Hogwarts!
Hermione was so cute! She just didn't quite get it, did she? She's still bossy but still remains childish and you've given a great back story for her. I really enjoyed this chapter so much!! The whole concept of the Weasleys taking Halloween so seriously and the Grangers handing out toothbrushes was brilliant!
I think there was a couple missing speech marks, but other than that - it was brilliant!! 10/10
Keira :)Author's Response: Hello! This was a really lovely review to receive! I'm glad you like the story and my versions of the younger versions of the characters. :) Report Review
Just popping in to leave a review (because I never leave on as often as I should - I'll try to remedy this in the future! xD
So firstly, I just want to thank you for publishing this when you did - I just walked in from a really bad History exam, all depressed, ready to break into the chocolate (because it solves everything) - then I saw your chapter had been validated! My mum walked in to find me giggling and asked 'didn't you just fail your exam?' To which I replied: 'Please, I'm reading Clash!' xD
Your characters are so realistic and in a strange way you can relate to each one (I hope this doesn't mean I have problems... but after relating to Fred... I think I've gone past THAT point).
Favourite quotes? Hmmm:
'They were going to be the ones who had my back.
...I was so screwed.
If I was really trusting my wellbeing, happiness and general sanity to these goons, then I might as well just throw in the towel now and bloody check myself into a loony bin. At least this way, I can maybe reserve myself a room with a view.'
But then I really loved this line:
'I guess I could sit back and enjoy the ride for now. Because I know that no matter how crazy life will get - and I happen to know it can get pretty crazy - at least Iíll have some entertainment.'
Anyway - I'm starting to realise that this isn't really a review and is more of me just waffling on.. but know this - my friend was like 'fanfiction? As in you write/read stories about Harry Potter?' *feel the sarcasm* and I was like 'Yeah! Look read Clash.'
She did. She now has a HPFF account. Mwahahaha. Evil genius. xD
I'm just going to leave now.. or I'll just keep on talking which will bore you... so another fantastic chapter and I''m looking forward to the next! 10/10! :)
Keira :) Report Review
It's up!! Ah - I'm so excited! xD
I love how the characters all seem to stay consistant from In the Black - except there are subtle differences to show that they've aged ever so slightly. Even in Sirius, he seems more... mature (that's stretching it slightly)? More brotherly? I don't know how to explain it but you've made the adjustment from school to adult life go brilliantly and I really enjoyed reading it! :)
Can't wait for the next chapter - I've recommended this story to several of my friends over the past few months adn they've all enjoyed it just as much! Sorry for the short review - but it was a great read! :)
Keira :)Author's Response: It's up -- I'm excited too!! :D It's so great to see you back for the sequel!
I'm really, really pleased you found the characterizations consistent -- that's something I tried really hard to do, and I'm so glad you pointed it out. I did start this almost immediately after finishing the first book (I think I waited about a week), but it's still great to hear! Sirius is definitely supposed to be more mature, at least minutely. ;)
Wow! I'd no idea you'd recc'd this story, and that just totally made my day to hear it! So glad you're enjoying the story so far, and thanks so much for the review. You're awesome! ♥
Ooh a Hermione/George! I usually ignore this pairing at all costs because although part of me thinks they'd make such a cute couple - my love for Ron is too strong! Haha - but you've really shown the positive attributes of this pairing really well.
You've really caught Hermione's strong personality with her desire to do good and follow the rules mixed with the usual teenage angst of worrying what others think of her. You've shown a different side of her and I love how when she doesn't know what to do or how she really feels, Hermione will explode with anger instead - this is very much like the Hermione from the books!
My only slight confusion was over the 'silently agreeing of not telling anyone but Ginny and Fred'. Obviously Fred and George are twins and would tell each other everything, but Ginny seems a slightly odd choice. To me, Ginny is one of Hermione's friends and they are close in the holidays due to lack of other female company but I wouldn't have seen them as confidents at this stage - but that's just me and my awkward view! :P Though perhaps some description of Ginny and Hermione's relationship would fit really well?
Your beginning is brilliant and overall your entire chapter is very believable, though after the kiss things seem to speed up very quickly. Of course, some relationships just spark from the beginning but Hermione has always seemed a little more reserved and I found her helping with the black-market a little ...stretched? But once again that's just my head canon getting in the way! :P
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this and am looking forward to reading more of Hermione and George's adventures. :)
Keira :)Author's Response: Hello!
To me they sort of are an extremely cute couple which is why I like them and it was very nearly canon according to JK but I do love Ron too!
Hermione is a hard character to write especially because of her inner conflicts. I try to make her believable but at the same time she doesn't know how to react herself about it.
The thing about telling Ginny and Fred is sort of hard to explain but it is seriously needed within the rest but I will try and go back and explain it all. Ginny is a very influential character within this story and she sort of needs to be included within this!
I'm really glad you liked it and I know it does move a little quickly but in a way I tried to make Hermione let loose a little bit and of course she will need to be a little bit stretched to make it work completely Report Review
Sorry for the delay, I ... fell asleep... haha sorry about that! But I'm here now, and onto the review!
First of all, I really love your characterisation. Greg is already a stong character and I really like how excitable he is about everything, but at the same time is extremely serious. It's exactly how the First Years in my school behave when they first arrive. So that was very realistic! And then with the 'accidental' swearing - that was really cute! It fitted really well with what we know so far about his character.
I also really enjoyed Matthew's characterisation. You instantly get the vibe of 'protective older brother' which although he's obviosuly not related, the relationship is still there. They've got that easy-going banter but at the same time you can feel a depth of seriousness about him; obviously the responsibility of being captain of the Slytherin team and losing has made him slightly bitter - I'm now really intrigued to read about his explanation!
Just like the first chapter, this chapter flowed perfectly. There was never a moment of... hurry up and get to the good part, why do I care if he eats porridge with honey - if you understand what I mean? Haha! - Though at the same time you included little details which made the story much more realistic such as the dangerous roof and how his family would have obviously fixed it. I think my favourite bit about this story is that you haven't started him off on the Hogwarts Express with doubts about his school and a friend who pops his head in - you go further back so the reader understands where the relationship is coming from and overall created a bigger atmosphere.
Anyway, I really loved this chaper (and the one before) - I'd intended to review the first chapter but as soon as it finished I found that I couldn't wait to see what happened - hence the review on the second chapter! :P
It really was fantastic and I'm looking forward to reading the rest now! 10/10
Keira :)Author's Response: You have to sleep sometimes, I suppose...
I am quite used to dealing with new children at school, so I have a lot of experience to draw on when it comes to characterising a new beginning. Matt's old beyond his years, I think, forced to deal with things on his own before he's really ready for it, and that affects him. He's not really a child any more in a lot of ways.
Glad you enjoyed it enough to keep on reading - the plot is quite a slow burner, I think, with drip-feeding of lots of bits and pieces around the character development, so I hope it manages to keep the balance between detail and progression.
It's always a good sign if you're compulsively pressing "next chapter" - I've found the clock reading 1am rather more often than I'd have liked...
Thanks very much :)
Sheriff Report Review
Hey Beeezie :)
I'm here with your 3/10 review! :)
Sorry for the massive delays - RL is very hectic with exams, friends anf family etc. Anyway onto the story! I've never actually read a Teddy/Victorie before (for some reason I see Teddy as Remus' double and Victorie as Fleurs which is a couple I think I'd find too strange to contemplate!) but I can honestly say that this one-shot has really warmed me towards them as a couple and I would actually read them in the future!
This was so sweet! Both characters felt realistic and her nerves were believable as she was about to enter his flat. I really like how you've portrayed Freddie as a mischievious character without actaully having him in the scene! Freddie seemed sweet, supportive and at the same time, fun! There definetly seemed to be an echo of Fred and George! :)
Teddy - oh he's so cute! You could feel the childhood past between them and how much he really cares for Victorie. From what we see here, Teddy is a lot like Tonks. He's quite free-willed and smiley! :)
Victorie is classed perfectly as a teenager in love. You've characterised her fantastically - we can tell that she wants to take things to the next step but at the same time is terrified at doing so. We can clearly tell how much she cares for Teddy - I also like the hint of Fleur when she scrunched her nose up at Teddy's original appearance!
I think you handled the whole 'sex' bit really well. Some fics will skim over it so fast that you're never sure whether they just fell asleep instead, whilst other give WAY too much detail! I honestly felt like I was reading some sort of erotic novel once :P Anyway, I like how you built it up so the readers knew what was going to happen and then cut it off before anything actually did. :P
That was great - another brilliant story Beeezie! :)
Keira :)Author's Response: No worries - you know me, I've had the same problems. RL has been really busy and stressful for me, too. :(
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, despite usually not liking Vic/Teddy! :) I think you hit on a huge part of why people don't read Teddy/Vic in general and Victoire in particular, I think - a lot of people don't really like Fleur, and there's this perception of Victoire as being a clone of her mother. I don't dislike Fleur to begin with, so I'm more likely to emphasise how good points, but I also think that it's silly to act like kids are ever just like their parents. Some similarities, sure, but they're not... well, clones, and unfortunately Victoire (and Rose) in particular often gets written that way, which is sad.
My Teddy is definitely a lot more like Tonks than Remus - he can be serious (especially in the beginning with Vic), but he tends to to look on the bright side and be pretty optimistic overall. I'm glad you like him - he's one of my favourite next-gens!
Thank you so much for your review! :) Report Review
Just a really quick review to tell you how much I really like this story. :) It's written beautifally and you've really caught the easy-going nature of the Weasleys.
I love how you're portraying Ron and Hermione - I love Ron but think he gets a big negative press on here :P
Anyway, great job and I'm looking forward to reading more :)
P.S. Have you applies/made a banner for your story? If not, I can give it a try :)Author's Response: Hiya, thank you for the review :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I love Ron too, and I can't understand the way he gets treated on here sometimes!
I'm working on the next chapter at the moment, it's actually another Hermione based part, but then I'll have a little look into Harry's brain :P
Thank you for the offer! I haven't applied for a banner, but I'd love one. I'll PM you on the forums :) So exciting! Report Review
YOU WROTE A RON AND HERMIONE!!!
RON IS A GOOD GUY!!! Okay.. I'm going to stop writing in capitals now *ahem*. You wrote Ron in a positive light! Woo - I love Ron! (haha I think I may have mentioned that a couple times ;) ).
I loved her relationship with Ron, and his relationship with Rose. It was such a happy family atmosphere that really just makes you smile!
Oh I loved this! Look forward to reading more!!
P.S. there were a couple spelling errors such as 'read' instead of 'red' etc. So perhaps quickly scan back over to pick up some of the minor issues? :)Author's Response: I still haven't left your review D: I'm awful, I'll do that tonight, 'kay?:D
Ron.a good guy. *dies* I can hardly process it, but it seems as though I may just have to get used to it.
I loved it too,it was so fluffy and adorable:D
thanks for the review doll face:D
Ever Report Review
Did you know I actually gasped in this? Like out loud? That never happens! I was so involved with the story and the characters that I was completely in a world of my own! :P
I really like how you slowly unraveled this piece and also never fully confirmed who the characters are - though I'm guessing it's Teddy and Victorie?
I just really liked this - especially with the return to the glass shattering. It was really clear imagery and set the scene really well.
Great job! xD
Keira :)Author's Response: Hi!
Did you really gasp!? I've never had anyone say that it's happened before in a review, though really this is my first actual horror-ish type chapter in quite a long time!
I really like personally not knowing who the characters are, it's something I love to read and something I love even more to write. But, yes, you're correct it is Teddy and Victoire, actually it's my first attempt at writing them, so I'm hoping it turned out fine.
I actually got the idea for the glass from accidentally dropping a glass before my writing class. I suppose I was surprised by how far the glass spread when it hit the ground that I just felt I had to use it somewhere. Weird, I know!
I'm glad you liked it and thank you so much for reviewing! :)
~ In The Shadows I Dwell Report Review
Not Molly! Oh that was brilliant - I really wasn't expecting Narcissa to have killed Molly, but then I had the sudden realisation that it was Molly who killed Bellatrix.And even in the books it's clear that they love each other. Brilliant!
I've always thought that Molly died after the BoH - afterall, all the other grankids are named after deceased wizards or witches (well most of them)... except Molly. Though I usually think it was due to an unnoticed spell by Bellatrix - but I love this way!! It fits brilliantly!
I just think that this is brilliant! Well done on another great chapter! :)
Keira :)Author's Response: Hi!
I'm glad that you didn't expect it to be Molly, because I was worried about that at first. I think that Narcissa would want revenge, because ultimately, she did love Bellatrix.
I think a lot of people write that Molly is still alive when the next-gens are grown up, but I don't really know...
Thanks again Report Review
That's such a dramatic yet intriguing beginning! How can I not read on after that?
Who did she torture? Oh, this was a brilliant beginning! I really liked how you immediately told us that Narcissa died - as if getting rid of any hope that she might survive. I immediately want to know why she's in Azkaban and what is playing on her mind.
I also liked how you kept some of her 'Black arrogance' which is sometimes misplaced with Narcissa - she thought that Lucius was weak. Just a single detail like that shows so much about her character.
I don't really know what else to say except well done and I'm going to go read the rest now! :)
Keira xDAuthor's Response: Thank you!
I'm so glad that you liked this! You'll find out about what she did and why she's in Azkaban in the next chapter! :D
Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
I'm here from the lovely review swap - sorry for the delay! :)
I think I'll have to do the same as you are with mine and read back from the beginning to answer some of my questions - and if they're not covered then I'll be sure to ask! :P
This chapter in itself was lovely to read :) I like how you included both Ron and Hermione despite them being abroad at the time (and you made Ron sweet instead of gormless.. so 10 point go to you xD).
You've really got the family relationship - as well as Mr Weasley's excitment for going to a Muggle cinema! :P I also liked how you included Teddy - many fics which are post the BoH seem to forget him!
Your little added details were fun to read - like the food tasting different to Muggles! Made me smile when they all thought it was a dump xD
Anyway, great chapter and I'll go read the rest.. or pre-chapter now xD
Keira :)Author's Response: Thanks hun :) yeah, the funny thing is that Hotel, really does exist in Cornwall (which is where it was here) and did look a little like a dump lol. But It had Trelawney's Menu ON the Website for the Hotel, so I had to put it in :)
Anyway, yes I'm sure you have a lot of questions :) lol, and Arthur's just watching a VHS which I'm sure is just as exciting 'cause he can see the muggle contraption :P
I'm sooo glad you liked the relationships, they're really important :) as I'm sure you know based on what I read in your story, which I HAVE to go back and look at :)
I hope you enjoy the rest, and feel free to tell me your thoughts on those, I'm sure I won't be able to resist when I read yours lol
Thanks so much!! :D Report Review
Just a very quick review to tell you how much I'm enjoying this story! Ginny/Draco is fast becoming my OTP purely because of this story!
The characterisation is brilliant and it's very well written!¨
I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!! 10/10! :)
Keira :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate that. Report Review
Oh I love this!
It didn't click that this was AU unti lyou mentioned Harry and I had that dawning comprehension! :P You've really got the emotion across of being exhausted (both mentally and physically) yet desperate to find out who survived.
Ron is one of my favourite characters from the series so thank you for not making him either dead or horrible (as the Dramione following always makes him! ;) )
The emotions seemed realistic and I think this was a great one-shot! Well done! :)
Keira :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Your so kind! Ron is actually my least favorite character but I wanted to take a chance and write this story because they do work well together, even though I really don't like this ship I think I would have felt a little bad without giving it at least a chance and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. :) Thank you so much! Have a great day! :) Report Review
Oooh Sirius knows!
Hi! Just wanted to leave a quick review to tell you how much I'm enjoying this story so far! :)
It's such an odd pairing that I really wanted to read it when I saw it in the ship reccomendations on the forums! :)
Your characters are great and I love how you're portraying the relationship between Regulus and Sirius!
Anyhow, onto the nexr chapter! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you're enjoying it so far and I hope that you continue to enjoy it. Thank you for taking the time to leave such a nice review. ^_^ --Jenna Report Review
For some reason I really love surprise wedding stories! Especially when it has something to do with Ron ;). Haha, I can't wait to read about his reaction! Hermione's might be bearable... but Ron's? Haha! What about Draco and Astoria?! :O - Update soon! :P
I love how you've portrayed Hugo in this! You've really caught just the right amount of little brother yet still wanting to look out for his sister/fear of his parents reaction. It's really realistic!
Awhh - that's really cute. You show so much of Rose's personality through such a small thing as Scorpius making her garden perfect. It's something really thoughtful which gives us an insight into their relationship.
Ooh.. I really want to know why they kept it quiet now... and when they bought the house and... well the list could go on! :P
Great Job Ever!
Keira :)Author's Response: *flinchs* boo...haha.
surprise! surprise weddings:D I love them too!
I love Hugo too...I love his character and his personality, it's quite fun to write:D
It is cute(: I am a hopeless romantic so... thats pretty self explanatory.
Your answers will be answered in upcoming chapters(:
Thanks for the lovely review!
Ever Report Review
I'm here from the review swap (sorry it's late - my phone wouldn't load!)
This is a great start to your novella! You've really caught Ivy's regret but at the same time I feel like... not that she's proud persay... but... I can't seem to explain it! But I like it :P
I really like how you made the comparison between her pregnancy and her mother's miscarriage. The way you've descirbed it from ivy's perspecitive is in such an innocent way that it's immediately obvious that she was a young child at the time and didn't fully comprehend the situation.
You can also really tell that ivy's close with her parents due to you slipping in extra details. The chapter flows really well and I really like how you've separated her thoughts into sections - it makes the chapter feel more disjointed and therefore intune with her conflicting emotions.
Really enjoyed this so well done! :)
Keira :) Report Review
Hey Beeezie :)
I'm here with your 2/10 review! :)
Why have I never read this story before? I've seen it on the forums and noticed that you won the Gryffindor Story of the Month (congratulations by the way)... but for some reason it remained on my 'to read' list!
Oh well, I've read the first chapter now (and will probably add it to my favourites xD).
This is a brilliant first chapter; we get to learn so much about the characters that you've added in a really sly way. James and Roxanne seem to be such a pair; I've always had the opinion that James would eb really close to Roxanne or Freddie, and you've made them into a team here. It's brilliant!
Albus... well Albus is the kid you just want to give a big hug to, isn't he? I like how Rose seems to be the more rule-breaker whilst Albus appears to be a little more.. reserved?
Scorpius - he is one of the best parts of this chapter. Normally when you read a story on Scorpius he is either:
a) a really kind, funny guy who just wants to rid himself of his father's reputation. (Normally in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw in this case.)
b) best friends with Albus, and both take a dislike to James. In this case Draco has normally had a personality transplant and loves Albus as his own son, as well as getting along with the trio.
c) he is the exact clone of Draco. In Slytherin (obviously), very spoilt and seeks to bring back pure-blood supremacy.
Now, I've not got anything against these kind of Scorpius (some are really good), but it's nice to read about a different kind! Scorpius here, seems still rather spoilt but seems softer somehow. He is actually speaking to Rose (not in the I'll always love you... or the you are beneath me kind) as an equal. And I really liked that. He just seems like a teenage boy who has an issue with a girl.
The chapter has been written beautifally (as usual) and you've really got me wanting to carry on reading!
Another great job Beeezie! :)
Keira :)Author's Response: I'm sorry about all of the delays from me - I've been having a bit of a rough couple weeks, so I've been avoiding doing much that involves brain power (like reviews, or responding to reviews... :( ).
I'm really glad you like my Scorpius. I really wanted to avoid a lot of the cliches, because while sometimes those can work, I felt like they were just overdone and boring and honestly not very realistic.
Thank you so much for your review. :) I'm really glad you liked this! Report Review
This story is brilliant - I've added it to my favourites! I'm sure your friend, Alicia, would have been very grateful for you carrying on her story.
Another great chapter! :) Report Review
Yey for fairytales!
Oh Ever, this is a brilliant take on Cinderella! (You didn't make Ron that bad in this... so yey! ;) )
Hermione seemed nervous and you really got across that shewasn't used to looking so beautiful. Draco seemed to come across as a skilled dancer (which for some reason I'm now having images of Lucius teaching him how to dance...)
Haha! Sorry about the delay - my grandad phoned asking how to 'work facebook' - it took a while! ;)
Great start - I'm looking forward to the rest! xD
Keira :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! And yes,hooray for fairytales(:
Erh...Ron...Do I even need to repeat my feelings for him? You've heard the rant before(;
In my minds eye, Hermione looked gorgeous, so I really tried to show y'all that without corny descriptions,so yay! Hhaha! New one shot! You've inspired. Its like in GoF! I am so writing a one shot where lucius teaches draco to dance. and I've always imagined dancing as a necessary skill for a pureblood all the balls and parties XD oh my imagination, do you see what you do to me?
It's all good,I was late getting to yours too!
Thanks for the lovely review(:
Ever Report Review
I was going to review your chapters today but due to the archive issues I couldn't get on to my account (I couldn't remember the story name!) And now I've got school in the morning... so I'm really sorry for the small review!
This was an amazing reviews swap xD I love this sotry (I've now added it to my favourites). Oh I really love your plot/characters. Your characterisation is brilliant!
Really! I was so hooked that I reached chapter 7 and was like 'ah! It's the last chapter... when did s/he last update?!' :P Haha!
Really love this! The way her mother was killed my her father is so tragic but was written beautifally! :)
Once again, sorry for the short review! But thanks for swapping with me xD
Keira :)Author's Response: Haha, aww, thank you so much (: And don't worry about it. I would've been happy even if you wrote just one sentence (x
I'm glad you liked it so much. The next chapter is on its way. I'm trying to get it done in a few days, I'm usually fast with my updates (: hopefully you'll like the rest of this story too!
Thank you too for the swap! I really liked your story too! (: Report Review
I'm here from the review swap!
This... this was your FIRST fanfiction?! Woah - I wish mine was like that! I really liked this - your narrator was funny and really easy to follow. You really got her personality across so she wasn't just a character in a story, but more like a real person - if that makes any sense? :P
James. See I didn't read the summary or anything else - I had no idea when this story was based or who the main characters were etc. It could have been a Founders Era :P So I was reading the chapter, (really enjoying it) and then you introduced James and I really wasn't expecting it!
I was rooting for the best friend without having any idea who he actually was! :P It was a brilliant way to bring about the characters and introduce the story!
Brilliant chapter and I'm definetly going to carry on reading right now! :D
Keira :)Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad we did this review swap, because I absolutely adored your story!
I'm glad you liked the story (: It's my first 'published' FF, I have 'hundreds' hidden inside my laptop, and believe me, they're going stay just like that. They're so embarrassing (x
So great that you like Gwen! Real - that's exactly what I was trying to make her, so I'm happy it came through! I've put so much thought into her character, and she seems real to me, so it's nice to hear somebody else say it too (:
Haha, hope it was a good surprise then d: I wanted to keep a little suspense up, so people wouldn't immediately understand who I was talking about, even if they had read the summary/main characters (:
Hopefully you'll like the rest of the story as well! Thanks again (:
I'm here for the review swap xD
Haha - this had me chuckling from the first line -> 'Purgatory, Hell, karma, prison; call it whatever you want. Professor McGonagall insists on calling it 'Transfiguration' for example. So does Dumbledore. Although I detected a slight twinkle in his eyes when I barged into his office last Tuesday, demanding its name be changed'.
Brilliant first line! Really made me want to continue reading! xD Characterisation - I like your sarcastic main character - her interation with Amos was funny and realistic. Lily played the prefect really well and Sirius was obnoxious as head-canon determines! :P
I got a little confused whn Lily was saying that he really liked Jen - I thought he was talking about Sirius :P But other then that the whole chapter ran smoothly and was easy to follow.
Great Job :)
Keira :)Author's Response: Haha, thank you! :)
I really appreciate this. I'll get to your soon, I promise! I just haven't had time to actually sit down and read it! :(
Anyway, oops. I'll go back and clear it up at some point.
Thanks again! Report Review
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